#caniwritemywayout

[star-anise]

As someone who was exposed to a lot of problematic fic and porn very young, you are absolutely right and anyone who wants to hide all Bad Things™ from kids has (a) never met a kid and (b) is setting kids up to fail.

Yeeeeah. I’ve mentioned working with a lot of young Christian adults lately? And honestly, fandom’s purity culture is still only a pale echo of what churches teach all the time. Forget qualifiers like “deviant”--they’re teaching all the incredibly vulnerable children in their care that thinking about sex AT ALL under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES is a TERRIBLE HORRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD SIN.

Pastors will fend off suggestions that we, uh... educate them about sex in any way, shape, or form, since that makes them less vulnerable to sexual abuse and exploitation, by saying, “You might as well give them instructions on how to rob a bank!”

Like, my dudes and ma’ams... that would only be an apt comparison if you raised your children with the belief that their highest happiness in life was one day finding the perfect bank to rob and committing the perfect heist.

be gay do crime

In a system where marriage is set up as the highest goal of most people’s lives, teenagers are VERY ANXIOUS about learning how to succeed at it, and so many churches and parents feed them absolute HORSESHIT instead of concepts like... “If you’re not enjoying the sex you’re having you should probably talk to someone about it” and “It’s not your partner’s job to make you feel happy at all times and it’s a bad idea to get mad at them for failing to do this.”

And meanwhile we have so many fucking stories about people who did EVERYTHING RIGHT in this system and got absolutely robbed of any sort of healthy sexual relationship. I’m seriously not kidding when I say this is a system that routinely produces adults who are like, “I’m so ashamed... sometimes when I’m driving or working or whatever... I get aroused at the thought of tenderly making love to my husband/wife... I’ve asked God to take away these terrible feelings but I’m afraid I’m just tainted forever... My spouse would be so disgusted with me if he/she found out.”

And I’m sitting here like “Am I REALLY going to have to help someone come out as straight for the SECOND TIME THIS MONTH? Oh my god, I wanted to work in a Christian environment because I wanted to help LGBTQ+ Christians, but at least THEY fucking know their churches are full of shit on this topic! Somebody get in here and advocate for the sexual rights of cishets, Jesus help me.”

#staranise original #therapisting #fandom purity culture #og purity culture #christianity tw #abuse tw #caniwritemywayout

[perenial]

i love the idea that while joe draws ans paints, nicky photographs because it feeds into my theory that joe is an cultivater and nicky is a preserver. joe believes that goodness can be created anywhere while nicky thinks that goodness is everywhere and needs ti be protected. this applies to how they met too, because joe saw this Italian who had been fed hate and believed he could coax good out of him, while nicky saw this Maghrebi merchant and realized there was so much more good in the world than he thought

#replies.txt #kaysanova #caniwritemywayout #oh my god im so sorry for tagging this as anon #im v tired and my brain just. shut off.

[googledocsdyke]

for communitynatural: i think it's interesting that while abed & cas are paralleled, as well as dean & troy, abed and dean speak in near constant references because that's how they relate to the world, while cas and troy just. say things. because they aren't scared of being emotional

ALRIGHT unfortunately this is gonna be long. i wanna deconstruct the cas/troy thing but i’m gonna put a pin in that for now because you’re right! but you’re also wrong! both abed and dean constantly mediate the world through pop culture, in a way that initially makes them seem really similar, but actually when you look at the respective ways their References and Homages work, it actually highlights how different their characters are, and how well they work as foils (different, complementary) rather than mirrors (similar, paralleled)

i think the key difference is that abed uses pop culture to make sense of the world, while dean uses it to make sense of himself. like abed has a very clear & coherent internal sense of who he is, and he's comfortable with it. he knows that who he is isn't someone the world always perceives as "acceptable" or "normal", so sometimes he uses pop culture to translate that person into something or someone “acceptable” readable by the world. but it never actually modifies his internal sense of who he is! key moment: in early season 1, where the study group is intent on making him over so that a girl will like him, and "teaching" him to be "normal". he goes along with it, and when the plan fails, they all express regret that they somehow damaged his self-esteem by forcing him to think that he needed to change for other people. and you know what he says?

"when you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal." like this is a line that is SO key to understanding abed's character, and makes him like truly one of the best characters on television (it would've been so easy for his internal conflict to come from him hating himself for being autistic(-coded), and they DON'T do that, and it's GREAT) 

and like. can you IMAGINE dean winchester saying that. like can you imagine him saying that even as a joke. for all his efforts to present himself as a Coherent Swaggering Hero, he has DEEP internal turmoil over who he really is, and all the points at which this heroic masculinity fails. half the time, he is gripped by self-hatred. and when he "changes himself for other people" it's not something he casually flips on and off. it's at the very core of his identity. it's something he cannot remove from himself. he knows full well that "your taste in music? dad's. your jacket? dad's. do you even have an original thought?" he then proceeds to listen to the same music and emulate john winchester in essentially the same ways for the next decade and a half.  dean winchester only IS dean winchester because of the external influences that force him to change. and part of this comes from his own compulsion to be written as/write himself as Hot Action Hero at all costs. like literally at the cost of his own life. it's a game that he can't stop playing. when he gets hit by a CAR he wants to know "did it look cool, like in the movies?" abed would never ask that. abed would just know it looks cool. dean has this pathological need to see it reaffirmed by an Audience, a Ceaseless Beholding Gaze that compels him to perform action hero masculinity at all costs

there are two key points of comparison that really cement this for me:

when abed says "i got self-esteem falling out of my butt," it's like an incredibly sincere line. he genuinely is comfortable with himself and has a high opinion of himself. sure, sometimes he gets distressed that the world doesn't see him the way he sees himself, but he knows who he is and doesn't attempt to repress it or lie to himself about it

when dean says "i think i'm adorable" or "there are no men like me" or like any of the "i am dean winchester and i'm amazing and i love myself" swagger lines, it's a PERFORMANCE of self esteem masking, like, a deep core of self-hatred. his entire personhood is built on him lying to himself — (dean to himself in 5x04 voice: i know that lying face i've seen him in the mirror). he can't truly have self-esteem or self-stability because he doesn't truly have a sense of what his Self even is

the han solo thing. in the season 2 finale during the paintball war, abed very consciously takes on a han solo persona because the setting demands it ("it appears we've exited the western and are headed for more of a star wars theme"). he dressed up as han, drops an iconic line or two, and has a Hero's Makeout with annie (who’s “playing” leia) in-character. but as SOON as they're both soaked in paint (and thus their characters are Dead within the game) he snaps out of it with no problem whatsoever. annie calls him "han" afterwards and he literally says he only did it “because the context demanded it.” abed knows exactly when he’s playing a role and when he isn’t, and very consciously turns it on and off.

but dean. OH DEAN WINCHESTER. he is playing the pop culture han solo hero role at all times and will never admit to himself that he is performing. it soaks into like the very core of his being. to quote tumblr user minor-mendings, “dean is trying to be the movie cowboy, the outlaw, the han solo type, with no realisation that that person doesn’t really exist.” i go over this in more detail with my han solo + dean meta - in so many ways he is So Thoroughly Not the pop cultural role that he insists on playing with complete sincerity, and that the writers insist on writing him into with complete sincerity. abed always knows when he is Playing and Referencing and Homaging and Alluding. dean NEVER knows when he is Playing and Referencing and Homaging and Alluding because his whole life is play, an elaborate repetition of stylised acts

so you're right, i think dean and abed are really interesting characters to read alongside each other in that they both 1) sincerely love pop culture in its own right in very fun and neurodivergent ways and 2) use their pop culture knowledge in their own self-fashioning and the way they translate themselves to the world and 3) engage with the world through Homage and Play and enjoy playing Roles. HOWEVER. the way they respectively use pop culture is so deeply different and indicative of fundamentally different processes of self-fashioning and self-perception, that i can't read abed as a dean-figure or dean as an abed-figure. they're complete inverses of each other! dean is a troy mirror/troy-figure and an abed foil

#answered #dean studies #communitynatural #spn #community #wrote this while in line for a covid test wkdffdjfks sasha behind the scenes #anyways communitynatural hive eat this one up #caniwritemywayout

[clairenatural]

ive been rewatching s7/s8 and the tension between cas and benny? the inherent conflict that comes because of their species, but also because benny knows that cas claimed dean long ago. cas knows that dean would be dead several times over without benny. they each have a grudging respect that slowly turns into friendship that becomes something more

YEAH

the way benny immediately walks up to him like “hey yeah you abandoned dean so i have to hate you on principle :)” and cas in turn is deeply offended by that concept because he’s....he’s cas and they’re talking about dean and who does this vampire think he is

but then there’s that moment when benny, after griping about cas nonstop, steps in to save him and pulls him up by the hand and they look at each other like oh. alright and that’s that

#thank u for enabling me #sorry to anyone who is not a fan of this LMAO i love them #deancasbenny #destiny #answered #caniwritemywayout

[mortuarybees]

... anyway, got any spn fic recs?

a few!!! not a ton bc i havent found a ton that i like this go round fkldjsa but ill take more recs if yall have them!

where the weeds take root - 30.2k - explicit: dean and cas retire to a house in the country and dean is a mechanic and cas builds houses for habitat for humanity and they get chickens and a cat and a dog and dean starts woodworking finally get together and figure out the rest of their lives. it’s just v like. soft and simple and slice of life? 10/10 it was Made For Me

a turn of the earth - 95.2k - mature: so like cas sacrifices himself to stop the empty i think and gets thrown back in deans timeline to pre-s1 and just keeps popping in and out throughout his life and dean falls in love and cas is as always hopelessly in love with him too. it’s v good. it deals with deans internalized homophobia so tw for that but it’s not like. gratuitous and doesnt revel in it in the way i think some spn fics ive read in my time do ljdfsa i think it’s a v honest portrayal of where hes at

@pigeonbutch has many excellent spn fics and also a rec list from this spring i couldnt find but loved so michael if u could link that i would appreciate it greatly fldasjf but here are a few!!

no children - 2.7k - explicit: the way he titled an endverse fic with no children. we stan. anyway it’s endverse and we stan

loving you was red - 2.1k - g&e: a two parter t4t which as a t4t u understand is everything to me

#henry speaks #spn #fic rec #caniwritemywayout

[fluorescentbrains]

random question but: does anyone know why misha named his kid west anaxandimer (or however it's spelled)

no fuckin idea

#caniwritemywayout

[caswlw]

i don't rlly talk to you but my big sibling instincts are kicking in and i absolutely will fight any mean messages you get. ive been in martial arts and boxing for years. what are they gonna do, cry about it?

🥺🥺 all y’all are too kind to me omg

and you’re right! what’re they gonna do! channel that misha energy my friend

#caniwritemywayout #these people truly don’t know when to quit

[goth-britta]

i really don't know why communjty didn't either (a) make abed telugu polish like danny pudi or (b) hire ONE SINGLE PERSON who knows Arabic. i know like four. dan harmon what the fuck.

ikr?

i’ve seen a lot of comments from polish speakers talking about how cool it was to see a character speak polish (accurately) in a mainstream sitcom.  what if arabic speakers got to experience that too?

like, imagine if abed’s palestinian background or his islamic background were written with the same level of care as his autism.  imagine if his characterization could have the same effect on arabic and/or muslim viewers as he had on many autistic and other neurodivergent viewers.  i can only speak for myself, but one of the many rewarding things about abed’s character has been being able to recognize my own behaviors in him.

look at this super long post that lists abed’s autistic traits.  what if there was an equally long post that listed all of the little details about abed’s palestinian background or him being a muslim?  the little details that only a writer who has an intimate knowledge of those worlds would think to add.

anyway, this post goes deeper into into the use of arabic in the show, so i’ll stop here.  sorry this got long.  i’ve been doing some research on this sort of thing so i had these thoughts bubbling up inside for a while.

#caniwritemywayout

[seamusheaneypdf]

counterpoint: he likes hyacinths bc they're lilacs but baby sized

fair point but hyacinths in my experience bloom for like a week and smell like ASS once they start to wilt so i say no to this

#caniwritemywayout

[perenial]

wait the two guys in pacific rim are gay for real??? I thought it was just fandom?? fuck i gotta go rewatch the movie and fire up google docs

oh no they’re not!! it’s still subtext akfhssdjf

#replies.txt #i meant joenicky were the canon ones #caniwritemywayout

[tfw-adhd]

8357

So the milestone was 8k, but you are pretty close to the actual number that I have now!

#not adhd #ask game #caniwritemywayout

[manforsale]

🐗

you get thank u babushka!!! Your number is 33 bc you’ve got some great friendly vibes <3

give me an emoji and i’ll give u a random picture i have on my camera roll AND i’ll tell u what number your vibes give off

#thanks for the ask!!! #and sorry for doing it so late ! #caniwritemywayout #asks #ask game

[mortuarybees]

mr. Bees i sprained my ankle and am bedridden until further notice, please rec me ur fav fics under 8k (that adhd attention span is fun)

I’m so sorry to hear about your ankle!! I’d be happy to rec some fics. i’m only tagging authors if they have their urls listed with the fic! if you want me to add your url, just lmk :). also if my mutuals have posted fics feel free to put them in the replies bc yall have Taste:

salinity and other measurements of brackish water by drawlight / @drawlight - 3.5k - if you haven’t read salinity yet, drop absolutely everything and do it right now because it’s phenomenal and atmospheric and it absolutely aches!!! “It's an odd thing, getting on after the End of the World. Crowley takes to sea-watching.”

quiet light and ad astra (explicit) by drawlight @drawlight - the first clocks in at around 2k and the second at 8k. it’s the shortest and most effective slowburn i have ever read. quiet light is unconfessed love; ad astra is a love confession and first time and they’re beautiful

everything just stops by witching - 4.5k - idk how long you’ve been following me but when i first read it i FULLY had a meltdown and took all of you with me. it’s that “i love you deep, angel” shit “I love your silly aziraphale things” shit! they have the tenderest fucking conversation in literary history while crowley is drunk in a bath it’s wonderful

a culmination of miracles by prettydizzeed / @genderqueercrowley - 1.3k - an absolutely beautifully written fic about crowley having chronic pain and informing aziraphale about it six thousand years later

i keep a window for you (it’s always open) by prettydizzeed / @genderqueercrowley - 2.4k - a complete fkcing war crime of a fic of crowley getting emotional about romeo and juliet and continuing to be emotional about it for centuries and then, even worse, quoting r+j in a love confession.

such surpassing brightness by handful_of_silence - 7.7k - one of my favorite fics of all time! aziraphale is the patron of queer people and has been for thousands of years! fuck!

it’s the light (it’s the obstacle that casts it) by handful_of_silence - 5.7k - “The Patron Saint of London's LGBT Community is real, and he lives in Soho.” aziraphale and crowley speak polari. literally so up my alley i melted when i saw it

your hair was long when we first met by aziraphvle / @aziraphvle - 1.4k - crowley asks aziraphale to cut his hair and we are taken on a thousand-word journey about how aziraphale loves his hair and loves him and it’s. a whole lot. bringing samson by regina spektor into it was entirely uncalled for. again i am Weak for aziraphale loving and caring for crowley.

and then i will kneel down (explicit) - 5.4k - f. fleabag omens. it’s the confession scene but it’s aziraphale and crowley. it is More than you could ever possibly imagine

hard feelings/loveless by witching - 2.3k - "Aziraphale said it was like the opposite of the feeling you’re having when you say things like “this feels spooky.” Crowley didn’t know what to make of that, but he expected it was something like the opposite of the feeling you get when the only person who truly knows you makes a cryptic remark suggesting that you can’t understand love. Crowley understood love all too well.”

the saddest part of my day by witching - 3k - "crowley is preparing to leave on a demonic assignment, and he's very nervous about leaving aziraphale in charge in his absence.” they have a very open and honest and loving and very adult conversation about their feelings and tbh? That’s My Kink

summer and his pleasures by witching (explicit) - 7.2k - “absence makes the heart grow fonder, and crowley and aziraphale’s hearts were plenty fond to begin with. a story told through phone calls while they are separated for work-related reasons.”

penance by blissymbolics / @blissymbolics (explicit) - 5.9k - praise kink/crowley finally gets off after six thousand years of trying

like a prayer for which no words exist by lipsstainedbloodred - 8.1k - “In which Crowley and Aziraphale do not dine at the Ritz after that nasty business with Heaven and Hell, and Crowley has an existential crisis instead.”

men have gone to heaven for smaller things than that by mercuryhatter - 713 words - Robbie Ross’ funeral. “Aziraphale finds an age slipping away from him.”

where you stay i will stay by mercuryhatter - 866 words - men at the Hundred Guineas Club went by women’s names. aziraphale chose naomi and paid to keep the name ruth available in case crowley woke up. aaaaa

the hour/the spot/the look/the words by planethunter - 2.5k - “Crowley watches Pride and Prejudice (2005) and it spurs a realisation.” you can imagine what a trial it is to read p+p 2005 being brought into good omens but life is nothing but suffering apparently, i’ve learned that this summer through this fandom

and the punchline to the joke is asking SOMEONE SAVE US by princex_N / @princex-n - 5.8k - “The fact of the matter is that Crowley was the first bitter cripple to limp across the face of this planet. It's been 6000 years and things don't seem to have gotten much better.”

birds of a feather by idiopathicsmile - 3.6k - idiopathicsmile of world ain’t ready fame. if your life can be divided into Before Les Mis and After Les Mis, you understand. “Aziraphale nests. Crowley relearns some crucial facts about angelic courtship rituals.”

covet by mirawonderfulstar / @mirawonderfulstar - 2.4k - “Aziraphale, little good though it did him, wanted desperately. He wanted with an urgency that scared him. He wanted wine, and cocoa, and the occasional tea. He wanted gravlax with dill sauce, and Pappardelle Bolognese, and those awful little iced biscuits they had at Tesco at Christmastime. He wanted dinners at the Ritz and long walks in the park and late nights in the back room of his shop. He wanted Crowley. Fervently, achingly, he wanted Crowley.”

indellible by greased_lightning_rod / @aziraphallist (explicit) - “It turns out glitter is miracle-proof and, also, that it itches. Crowley needs some help preening. He gets a bit more than he bargained for.” Wing kink. yall know i’m weak for aziraphale taking care of crowley sue me

get religion quick (cause you’re looking divine) by brinnanza - 4.2k - “So it was fine. Even if Crowley couldn’t love him, he clearly liked him well enough, and that was almost the same thing. It no doubt would have continued to be fine, or at least fine-adjacent, were it not for a narrowly averted apocalypse and several bottles of a really quite nice Riesling Aziraphale had found in the back room of his newly restored bookshop.”

the nuances of “together” by mirawonderfulstar @mirawonderfulstar  2.8k - “Everybody in the whole world can tell Aziraphale and Crowley are a couple. Everyone except, apparently, Crowley.”

listen (he’s already told you five times) by darcylindbergh / @forineffablereasons - 1.8k - “Not everything Crowley says is said out loud. Aziraphale doesn't always hear him at first, but he's learning to stop being surprised.” Love!!! Languages!

sudden and surprising moments of overwhelming affection by darcylindbergh @forineffablereasons - 2.7k - “Aziraphale has not shut up in thirty-four minutes. Crowley’s been counting.” O More I Love Your Silly Aziraphale Things Shit. if you’re a neurotic talkative gay and insecure about it that particular genre of good omens fic is ruinous.

things truly terrible by darcylindbergh / @forineffablereasons - 1.2k - “Crowley has said some truly terrible things over the years, but this was the worst.” tooth-rotting-sweet love song-fueled confession.

tell me all the ways by tinsnip - 1.6k - “Crowley was out in the garden. Aziraphale was in his study, most definitely not looking out the window. Really. Really. One little speck of sentiment: was it so much to ask?” More! Love! Languages!

a name for earth by regencysnuffboxes - 1.1k - “Demons can’t say holy names, and Aziraphael accommodates his new friend accordingly.”

a home at the beginning of the world by stereobone / @stereobone - 5.8k - crowley just kind of. moves in with aziraphale. Meaningful Interior Decorating! Couch Metaphor! yall know what i’m weak for

#i hope you're back on your feet soon! #and i hope these keep you occupied until then :) #henry speaks #good omens #fic rec #caniwritemywayout

[marlborodean]

something with an r for sure. rock, river, robin, riley?

interesting.... r is a nice sound and i really like these though i don't think i could pull off rock lmao! robin is definitely one of my favorite names too.. much to think about. thank u i love u dearly <3

#cavetown's name is robin as well so it'd be very iconic :) #i've considered the name Briar before which had those r sounds ofc but people would confuse it as Brian which i DO NOT want lmao #caniwritemywayout #thank you!!!!!

[caswlw]

i am so sorry about your inbox rn. here's my friend's dog he is very cute and he loved you

PUPPYYYYYY omg this dog is the cutest dog ever. ever i am in tears

#BABS #SO CUTEEEEEEE #caniwritemywayout

[rotgospels]

the way four people in a row reblogged those adventures in babysitting photos. the spn hivemind in incredible

We 

#caniwritemywayout