#cant be bothered lmaooooo

[smute]

my parents accidentally turned on some child lock thing on their tv that blocks any 16+ movie and ndkfkdkjfkfks to disable it you just have to enter a 4 digit pin (it seems to be a custom one as we've tried all the obvious options) and for the last ... six (?) months ive been telling them JUST LOG INTO YOUR THING AND LOOK UP YOUR PIN OR CALL CUSTOMER SERVICE AND HAVE THEM RESET IT but to no avail

#my mom isnt even technologically challenged she COULD fix it if she wanted to she just #cant be bothered lmaooooo #''i dont like scary movies anyway'' #MA'AM HALF YOUR FAV MOVIES HAVE A 16+ RATING kfkykskfkfkfkxk #its so funny when it's like ''up next: this or that movie'' and then the screen goes black fjfjdkkfkfkdkskwkkfkgkfkkd #and these two fully grown adult humans just go #welp #nothing we can do about it #&

[camotherogue]

disregard the poll. im not doing it. who cares

#sorry ill probably change my mind again in two hours but i might not. its all futile an dpointless anyways lmaooooo #if i go dead online for a while its bc i cant even be bothered to talk to others and just want to wallow in my own shitty self pity as alwa #sbecause nothing really matters and nobdoy thinks im worht a shit offline anyways #which i mean. theyre right arent they. im not #just gonna ghost everybody ive ever known and isolate myself again yk how it goes

[fatale-distraction]

It’s time to play SHATTER THAT PELVIS -crowd goes wild-

Hey here’s some filthy filthy smut I wrote while freezing my ass off in the garage between helping my girlfriend replace her car battery. 🥶

Inspired by @thepinkestpug talking about a bottom-dom Barcus demanding to be fucked properly lmaooooo

“You’re not holding back, are you?”

Lithe paused, her ass hovering just above his knees, fingers resting lightly on his chest, trying to look as innocent as she could with bare tits and a gnome’s cock inside of her.

“Uhh…”

“Lithe,” Barcus scolded. Her thighs were shaking from the effort of holding herself up instead of letting her full weight settle on him. “You’re a terrible liar.”

The elf screwed her lips up. “I don’t want to crush you!”

Having a partner half again as tall as himself was proving to be quite interesting. Barcus tightened his grip on her hips, the blunt tips of his fingers sinking pleasantly into the soft flesh. He pulled her down until she was pressed flush against him, canting his hips up and watching her eyelids flutter as her head tilted back and she moaned softly.

“I want you,” he panted. “All of you. Don’t hold back.”

“But—“

He thrust up into her again and Lithe whimpered. “I may be small,” gasped Barcus, holding her down and grinding her hips against his own. “But I can take it. Now, be a good girl and fuck like you mean it.”

Lithe’s teeth dented her soft lips as she attempted to stifle a grin. She loved the way he praised and commanded her in the same breath. She wouldn’t have guessed that he could be so assertive, but then again, this was the same man who up and decided to travel alone across the Sword Coast because of a blood-stained necklace. He was full of surprises, and absolutely correct. He was small. He could handle it.

She didn’t bother responding. Lithe braced her palms on his chest and lifted herself until she felt the engorged head of his cock just inside her entrance. Barcus groaned a little as he felt the gentle tug, a pleasant sigh cut off as she sank down completely on him.

Urging her on with his hands, Barcus closed his eyes and let out a deeper groan as she rode him harder, her ass slapping against his thighs wetly. Their staccato breaths mingled with increasing fervor. His hip bones began to ache and his thighs felt bruised but he bit his lips and refused to ask her to stop. Her cries of ecstasy were becoming ragged and desperate; they were both close. He felt pressure coiling in his groin, felt her muscles squeezing erratically around his cock as she pounded herself against him. A final whimper shook his body as he came, crying out as Lithe collapsed on top of him, grinding out the last of her orgasm against him so hard his eyes rolled back and he clung to her, teeth sinking into her shoulder as she made helpless sobbing noises against the crook of his neck.

“Hells below,” he moaned as Lithe rolled to one side, still holding him against her and breathing hard.

“Are you alright?” she gasped, emerging from his nape and brushing her hair back from her sweaty forehead.

“I think so,” Barcus responded into her bosom. He wiggled one foot and then the other, stretched his legs out and winced a bit as his hip popped, but although he ached in some very interesting places, everything seemed sound.

Lithe giggled and planted a kiss on top of his head. Barcus snuggled closer, hiking a thick thigh up over his waist. “Good girl,” he murmured, patting her hip fondly as exhaustion took hold.

#barcus wroot #bg3 barcus #baldur's gate 3 #baldur’s gate fanfiction #bg3 smut #bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 tav #Lithe Tav #writing down fatalities

[normiematsu]

thinking more thoughts about vampire yuucho 🤓

in this au i think yuu would be a barmaid eventually turned Regular Maid lol. the first time she encounters the matsunovs its closing up and walking home and everyone (but especially choro) gives her the Stare from the shadows of an alleyway while shes just like 🚶‍♀️💨

they keep having Almost Interactions in the dead of night and it kind of freaks her out. finally choro cant take it anymore and drops off a letter at her door... yuu finds it in the morning and its a call for a live in housekeeper........! the specifications are pretty vague - whoever sent this is just looking for someone to keep the place clean while the owners take a trip overseas for an extended period of time. seems a little sus but the pay is well over twice what she makes at the bar AND no more close calls walking home in the middle of the night?! so she's like lmaooooo bye and packs up her stuff and arrives at... matsunov manor.

just like the letter said it appears there's nobody here - but it does look lived in so it probably wasn't a trick...? since there's no one else there it's pretty easy to finish her chore list every day and still have time to go out to town for a few hours every day. falling into a daily routine comes easily, and she sleeps soundly enough at night that she doesn't notice the sounds of someone (or something) moving around at night... but it does bother her that sometimes she wakes up and things look like they've been messed with overnight. but that's just her imagination right? her pay always arrives on time, and the manor has nice amenities, so she can't bring herself to quit... she keeps trying to convince herself that she's definitely here by herself...

until one night, where she wakes up well past midnight and wants a glass of water. she makes her way through the maze of hallways and staircases that lead to the kitchen. where she finds.....

not one, but five men hanging out in one of the lounges 😨 and she can see that they've all got prominent fangs and pointed ears... cue huge freakout and her trying to fight them all in a cartoonish chase sequence. eventually they all grab hold of her and are like WE CAN EXPLAIN and she's losing her shit because THERE ARE VAMPIRES HOLDING ME DOWN AND THEYRE SO FAWKING STRONG HELLO? ARE THEY GOING TO SUCK ALL MY BLOOD? HELPPPP

they all blame it on choro immediately lmfao. he steps out from a dark corner in the room and sheepishly explains that he wanted to get to know her better, totally not eat her, and he couldn't think of a better way to do it since he can't go out in the daytime 🤦‍♀️

the whole scenario is so unbelievable all yuu can ask is "so the owners aren't away traveling?" and the matsunovs are like erm... we're the owners. this is our house. "and... you definitely aren't going to kill me or suck my blood...?" we were going to at first but this place was lowkey a disaster until you showed up and choromatiu likes you so if anyone sucks your blood it's gonna him. "EXCUSE ME"

all that and she doesn't leave tho. bc the pay is too good. she's simply accepted her fate as the live in housekeeper/plaything to the local vampire family. she starts doing some of the housework at night so they can get to know her better. also she cant stop staring at choro now that she knows hes into her

#yuulore #yuucho #again no beta we die like men

[starfxkr]

https://www.tumblr.com/starfxkr/748535208667660288/dk-if-youre-still-doing-the-astrology-match-ups

ouuuuu i knew id end up with rafes funky ass idk why i bothered… curse you planet venus… but omg fellow venusian twinnn <3 you just read my ass to filth cause i just lost 95% of my friends in the past few months like idk what im doing wrong but oh well :P tbf though ill tweak if youre nonchalant bc wdym. and thats one thing rafe isnt even if he masks himself to be cause that man gives multiple fucks 🤷🏽‍♀️ but alas, ill relinquish control to him however ill let him know that im not above giving him ultimatums and leaving him as a threat cause i wanna stress him out cause hes actually a loser 😹 now im ab to blast sexyy red and he cant say shit ab being a lady bc i encapsulate everything that hoe ever wanted !!!!! thank u sm for this!!! :*

rafes funky ass unfortunately loves venusian women he really just could not care less about the intensity you bring he likes it. hes allergic to being nonchalant. i don't think you'd have to relinquish control with him i think you're too hard headed for that and he'll have to just deal with it bc u kinda are his dream lmaooooo

#✨.txt

[royalwilmon]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

thank you so so much for tagging me @skibasyndrome <3333333

do you make your bed?

almost never. like, when i wash my sheets, and then never again. cant be bothered!!!

what's your favourite number?

i dont really have one but ive been saying 36 for yearssss. from the glee days. iykyk

what is your job?

im a software tester!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

you couldn't pay me to

can you parallel park?

i mean. technically. i avoid it at all costs and if there is someone behind me witnessing me parallel park i will Fully Panic. but i can do it. mostly.

a job you had that would surprise people?

i worked at dunkin' donuts for three years. which isn't surprising, i live in new england. what does surprise people is when i talk about how much i genuinely loved that job and miss it Every Day

do you think aliens are real?

i guess i definitely think there are other life forms out there. hard to say what they'd be like, though

can you drive a manual car?

nah, i've never tried. don't have much of a reason to!

what's your guilty pleasure?

lmaooooo gut instinct is to say jimmy buffett. my spotify wrapped this year is going to be WILD

tattoos?

not yet! once i find an artist i trust, I'm going to get the comet chandelier

favorite color?

blue! i describe the shade as the darkest shade of blue the sky gets

favorite type of music?

my taste of music is absolutely all over the place, this is nearly an impossible question for me to answer. i have a lot of specific pockets of interest. i love anything that came out of laurel canyon -- really, a lot of 70s music i picked up from my dad. obviously i fuck with showtunes big time. and then lately i have a handful of artists im obsessed with that float somewhere in the indie/pop/jazz/folk world. like, so vague, i just cant say any sorta word that would sum it up. oh, also, omar?? seriously, i'm all over the place

do you like puzzles?

yeah! my sister loves them more than i do so i mostly only do them when I'm hanging out with her

any phobias?

birds!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate them!!!!!!!! im so afraid!!!!!!!!!!! so so so scared!!!!!

favorite childhood sport?

i played softball and basketball as a kid, but like. ehhhhhhhh.

do you talk to yourself?

oh, always. look, i work from home most of the time, and my roommates have very different schedules from mine so im home alone a LOT. i like to keep myself company. i am alwayssss chattering to myself. 100% of the time, just nonsense babble

what movies do you adore?

ohhhhh tricky question. i'll pretend im doing one of those letterboxd interviews and I'll give you my top four. fried green tomatoes (1991), camelot (1967), dirty dancing (1987), and everything everywhere all at once (2022)

coffee or tea?

coffee! like i said, i worked at dunks for three years. I'm one of those maniacs that drinks black coffee. i wish i liked tea, i really do, i just. dont

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

HAHA i don't know if it was the first but the story my mom always tells is how i wanted to be a cake decorator at Walmart. specifically walmart. she would encourage me to aim higher, like. 'why don't you be a cake decorator at the white house or something', but no. walmart. i was probably, like. five.

Onward tagging: idk!!!!!!!! im always late to these!!!!!! @goldenwilmon if you haven't done it yet??

#tag game

[ravenousravishing]

yall i cant keep reviewing and fiddling and scribbling and more fiddling with this project. however it feels like a waste to put effort into writing the thing when i feel it isnt making sense/has any stakes/other issues/etc. like why write all these scenes and then have to go back and rewrite it all because i didnt bother to fix the issue of there being no actual tension??? lmaooooo im just.

#chitter chatter

[whorekneecentral]

i’m doing pretty good!! i’ve got a little bruise from where she took my blood but other then that i’m all good

for some reason i’ve been in the mood to watch horror movies BUT IM A PUSSY SO I CHICKENED OUT and i’ve been watching youtubers play horror games and i’m sitting in the living room with the lights off and just a lamp on and we’ve got these doors that lead to the garden and they’re surrounded by windows and the blinds aren’t closed it looks hella scary outside BUT I CANT GO UPSTAIRS BECAUSE MY CAT IS OUTSIDE AND WE DONT HAVE A CAT FLAP SO I HAVE TO LET HIM IN

-🏎️

ouch, put some ice on it! It’ll help :)

LMAOOOOO NOT THE CAT SCARYING YOU 😭😭 my bother scared me yesterday and I accidentally dropped my favourite mug — it didn’t break tho!

#🏎️ anon

[i-consume-media]

huu huu tao

Credits.... Blah blah whatever i cant be bothered

Character: Hu Tao(pronounced Hoo T-ow((as in 'ow i bit off my toe')))

Song- Just a Cloud Away(no edit)

Clips: from Teaser/Character demo, videos from SoloSky, Tentou(or maybe that clip wasn't included?) and Hollow Wind on youtube

Made using Capcut and screen recorder

Inspiration from: chantkie on youtube and kiy0 on youtube(i think the video might not be theirs though?)

Just a cloud away! I had INTENDED to do this with Chongyun, but he has no teaser/trailer/demo i can find(shaddup idk which genshin characters are fivestars) , sooooo...

The 'happy' vibe suits him, but as i said.......

so i thought hu tao is also pretty mischievous and happy, so why not?

the first edit i made without unnecessary filters/effects LMAOOOOO

anyways, hope ya liked it! may yr little genshin soul rest

[arooomofmyown]

yooooo, I’m back on my bullshit y’all. Who woulda thunk. I need luck to be able to pull this off 

#argh i just want it to be six hours later already #and i want this stunt i'm pulling to work out #bcs clearly.. otherwise its Bad (tm) #ffs childish tricks again #personal #UPDATE (some 9 hours After the Thing): i have the worst way of pulling off stungs lmaooooo #and i gotta face them??? again??? what will i even say? will they even ask me? #how do I act? just my poker face and chilling politeness like always? or should the mega confident fake bitch comes out #hoooo lads we are in a trifle #but this sounds like future me's problem #i survived today 👍 #cant even be bothered to fix the typos #but i do i rlly need to get my shit together #it is october after all

[remholder]

😔🤙

#i cant go a single day without bothering bu about something raven related lmaooooo

[bylaude]

Getting a new TV today, so I might finally be able to play FE3H on the big screen? 🤔

#my old tv has been sitting there...spoiled...for months lmao #and i never bothered to play it on the living room tv #dont want the fam judging me while i have tea time with the bois lmaooooo #apparently there was some sale and my mum spontaneously decided to buy me a new tv replacement #cos she cant resist sales smh #we're not doing too hot financially so i was in disbelief but hEY FREE TV RIGHT?? #thanks mum but please curb your shopping impulse

[datleggy]

today was supposed to be my day off but my broke ass agreed to cover someones shift and now i have to like, GET UP and GO OUTSIDE and DO STUFF i hate it

#lately i find myself more and more absolutely hating my job???? #it's mostly rude customers but sometimes its also coworkers #like sometimes those hoes dont do shit #and i like my boss but just bc i actually do my job he out here trifflin and shit #like some of these ppl will be up to a half hour late every single shift or just not bother showing up/getting cover or b out here texting #and ignoring customers #and i do the exact opposite so if i do ONE thing wrong on the rare occasion my boss will call me out on it #and im aware that its bc he expects more of me bc i actually give a shit about my job #BUT LIKE FUCKING TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME WAY THEN #dont fuckin bitch at me about stuff but let everybody elses shit ass behavior slide???????????????? #my other job i used to hate i now find relaxing but unfortunately they only need me like 2 days a week so i cant live off that #now that i think about it i cant live off the two jobs i do have now lmaooooo #i gotta do something different and SOON #bc i am TIRED of all this bullshit #i just wanna be able to afford rent and food and basic necessities joitngwmdkntjfmdf

[seungmin-l-archive]

.

#i got my chem results back and uuuuhh... #its... its not good... lmao... i feel like its good enough for ME... bc i havent done chem in two years #but its klejsfjsdf its bad and like i rlly wanna cry LMAOOOOO #im waiting for my next class rn and im rlly so so lclose to crying ike #im texting one of my close friends and my eyes were suddenly watering lmao slkjfskl ha . #i rlly wanna skip this class and go home and cry and sleep but also i cant afford it bc i have chem #slkdjfkds i think i at least . . passed #i wanna d*e i hate this subject so much its been giving me anxiety ever since i started uni and i hate asking my friends for help #bc i feel like im dumb and a bother slkdjfklsdf i wanna d*e ! lmao #i wanna call my friends i wanna cry soooooo bad lmao but i gotta hold in in bc class is in like 15 mins but #: ) maybe i'll take a break from tumblr dot hell to get my life together #so i dont feel like crying everytime i talk about this stupid subject!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[nabilfekir]

happy 23rd birthday to adrien rabiot!

#adrien rabiot #psg #paris saint germain #france nt #* #its his birthday in france time so whatever i cant be bothered to queue this or whatnot lmaooooo #anyway i feel like he's leaving this summer so when he does im gonna be pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #but also really sad bc hes one of our own and kimpembe will be lost without him lmaooooo #edit #took me like 5 mins to make it but like 15 to find 3 good pics lordt #thank u parisnolimit for popping up on ig and reminding me its his birthday

[sunrays-and-moonshine]

when your mom has an innate bullfuckery of making you feel like absolute dog shit despite trying your best in what she wants.

#LMAOOOOO #its mothers day or whatever #and no this isnt a joke #its a vent #if you dont like it #then stfu and get outta my sight #im fucking nearing my limit #and i wanna snap and break smthng so #LMFAO #vent #personal #i wanna cry #but then theyll belittleme and tell me to suck it up #or ask me why which i cant explain #bc why would i really? #you bitches never bother listeningto me so why start now? #id rather lie than explain myself to you #fucking hell im so goddamn tired