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ngmn2002 · 3 months

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Ch 110: Random Thoughts

Ok, let's go...

ooooh, what a cool face, Tsukasa! ♡ You're so beautiful. Always so enchanting. Captivating boy! ✨

So he was referring to Akane after all.

Uh, strong words coming from Akane to say he will put Tsukasa to justice. Hmm. Nice.

How cheeky. How smug. So full of yourself, huh? ~ What a reallllly good mood you're in. Well, regarding the situation, you're so pleased. Almost getting to finish what you've been after for so long. ~ those who tell Tsukasa to follow their rules have it hard. Not remembering old No.3. lol

I'm done talking about his super speed and powerful SHARP hands. His hands are a weapon alone. OH!

He is wasting no time, right into business at full force. How admirable.

But seriously... the words... oh! He's been growing really smug since ch 91, 92 and now... woooh... one time playing with puzzle pieces and throwing them in the air all gracefully and the other Kaku's gears... this side of his... easy on me...! I get it everything is in the palm of your hand. I get it you're pleased you're almost at the finish line and enjoying your success on getting what you've been working hard and patiently on for long. BUT!! OH! ... even that Tsukasa art with the clock. oh. should I be calling you Mr. cool smug Tsu? ♡ it's impossible not to remember him! OH!

Uhhh... just thinking of Kou threatening little Tsukasa to get at him one day is sooooo funny at this point. You sure you can pull that off? lol

LOVE how this boy aged. From an innocent hum to a REALLY smug, fully in charge and capable one. UH! you want to go after Tsukasa after the scary 'hmm' face he showed you before and after what he did to you after showing it? Have to say you're brave. ~

Speaking of you, shouldn't you really be after someone else by now? If we were to assume Tsukasa hurt your friend, which is a big No-No to you, no one touches your dear friend and gets away with it, after what nat did, how will you react? Go at full force at him, kay? ~ Not to add, that's also the fake 'senpai' who used you in a really ugly way to get what he wants and left you with nothing before. Get a much called for 'revenge' on an ugly target. ~ Let me see you going. ~

You're still on the safe side. You still have time to reconsider, Kou. For your own sake. ^^

Here we go again...

Love how this boy changes from cheerful, playful, carefree… to being deadly serious and focused in like a split moment. He just keeps on switching between the 2 sides. A thing to admire about him. ~

Ahem, he is 'playing' with you Akane. ^^ seriously, he cut Akane's side with his pare hand and drew blood out of him, he crushes metal with them, punches a whole through metal or whatever... his HANDS! what are they made of?! even though I said I won't talk much about his hands.. here we are...

He is having fun. He is enjoying himself. Little smug foxie. ~

The amount of self confidence he has always impresses me. My goodness it's limitless… but this chapter is on another whole level. SO SMUG! I love that mood of his. oooooh SO COOL!!!

To go on and take out parts of Kaku to throw them at Akane. AHAHAHA Wha a cool move! ~ It's hilarious. What a reallllly good mood you're in. do you have a thing against kaku? you're treating him like ruins of the clock.

The punch he gave to Akane's chin, it reminded me of the one Hanako gave to Kou in the pilot. The twins share some moves. cool.

Later on he moved to give Akane a nice spin around, how fun! I hope Akane enjoyed the ride! twister no.4 seems to have given Tsu a fun idea during their chase lol Again, Akane's reaction. Same as the one Hanako made when Teru destroyed the ceiling of the far shore train. Hilarious. Hilarious.

One of Tsukasa's coolest signature moves!!!!! Hits with an iron fist!!!!!

Unbothered Tsuuuu!!!!!! unbudging Tsu!!!! Amazing Tsu!!!!!!

Wooh, I think I need to stop on Akane's words to give Kou some kind of credit.

His unbothered side! Hmm. Even though that happened when Tsukasa was letting his guard down and all... it still counts in a way. The only one to 'graze' almighty Tsukasa so far.

Hmm, wonder if Tsukasa wanted to, he could use Kokujoudai regardless of what Akane did, the one not to be really affected by Mirai's seal, rules in boundaries don't seem to apply to him, hmm...

Who is distracted Akane? Tsukasa wasted no time to go with his signature move while you weren't paying attention to him. He just switches between going easy to serious that's all.

And once more, another Tsukasa signature move. Smashing heads into things. The ground, table, wall..... he is still more gentle than No.6 on the head smashing regard.

It's again, funny, the guys going to call Tsukasa guilty and voice to want to bring him to justice were brought to justice by him on their very court table. One with Tsukasa stepping on it and punching a hole through his chest, the other getting crushed into it. woooh. Tsukasa shows no mercy I see. What a fun court. ~

Seriously, he gave Akane no room to prove himself. It was a one-sided fight. Was it a fight? Half of it Tsukasa was playing.........

Again, he is so fascinated by the insides of other things. Why not tell us what's on the inside of you, Tsukasa? We're fascinated by that, too. Come on. you want to show us that once you're destroyed? while I'm a sobbing mess? How can i see with my sight blurry? ........

Anyway, the insides of Akane is flesh, Tsukasa. So, it's a relief he survived your attack. didn't you notice the blood when you hit his side?

Having Akane freeing Mirai and asking her to run (both for her safety and because she holds the yorishiro, I assume he knows it's there. Even if he didn't before, it's just a fact at that point with Kaku down and him knowing it's not within him), then for her to throw herself in front of him to get the hit instead and protect him with a selfless act. They do care for each other after all. How sweet, despite Akane going they tricked him and he hates supernaturals. He seemed taken aback by what happened to her... falling to his knees checking on her closely maybe?

Even though I don't really care for either Kaku or Mirai so far, I like her gesture with Akane. It was nice to see.

Love how Tsukasa still kept his logo of 'gentle with girls' so far. He got her not on purpose, and the time they fought before too. Still, I assume if he failed with Akane, he will be going for her. Uh......... if that happened I was going to say goodbye to gentle with girls Tsukasa. It was nice to know you. haha.

So, I was thinking for a whole month before the chapter will I go counting triple kill on Tsukasa's list when the chapter is out? It's fun to get it. Even if none of them is really 'over'. I was also hoping to see Tsukasa bloody like the time with No.3, he looked cool back then. Uh, for that to happen it had to be Akane's or Teru's? blood... since the others are just made of gears. But of course, I wouldn't want for Akane to reach that point of being badly wounded... I would be satisfied with a small amount... like if the cut to his side left a bit on Tsukasa's hand... uh... I would pay to be in Hanako's, Nene's, Teru's place or the owls and watch Tsukasa in action and going -far shore No.6 mode but X1000 COOLER like they were doing. Ahahaha, their reactions were so fun. even Teru's was funny.

Turned out the yorishiro is...

Within Mirai like I guessed. ~

And some people go saying Tsukasa killes for fun. Yeah, once his purpose is done, he didn't walk back to Akane, despite his comment on wanting to know what's on the inside of him.

Still, Tsukasa didn't go with the pattern I mentioned. If he did... we wouldn't have had all that fight so... makes sense. and I would have said goodbye to that thing

And, Tsukasa finally got his hands on the yorishiro. Mission accomplished. A yorishiro holding another. No.7's holding No.1's. Amusing. Tsukasa. ~

Though, from all the things, it turned out to be a "key"? I'm so sensitive to that. Come on.

...

Hmm... what meaning could that hold?

I can't help but to go back to the time Tsukasa had Nene going back in time to get Amane's key. And, now we see him holding a key. Something feels fishy. What purpose might the 2? keys serve?

Why did he want Nene to get Amane's key? What purpose does it hold? At this stage with his plan on its final stogies shouldn't what he meant to do with making that happen come to play... with what he meant for Nene to do? What he meant for her to have? Does she still have the key with her at the moment? like... if she was brought back to normal, will it be there in her uniform pocket? Will we finally see it in use?

Hmm, I do wonder what all that Tea-party-Nene plan Tsukasa came with serves.

she seemed to help him together with her servant carry it. So? Did Tsukasa just come to them and told them "hey, we'll do this for a thing I want, nothing on your benefit." and the 2 just agreed? They were active parts of the plan. If it doesn't serve them, if it doesn't mean anything to them, if it even stands in her way if what Nene is supposed to do will turn out to be an obstacle in her way, would she have agreed to help and make her servant help? That feels so unlikely for a supposedly 'careful' evil person as her. What did they want out of that, too?

Did she just go with "it will be my chance to get the naive girl's trust so I can manipulate her easily all I want later on? Sending her servant with her to be her guide and lead her in the nowhere, and maybe to get something out of it... what did it hold?

Was she oblivious to Tsukasa's purpose out of that deal and just carried out with it for her to get the Nene trust thing and for nat to achieve something maybe? .........

Were the 3 working together or did they have goals of their own in there? Are they opposing to the point what Tsukasa wants might step in her and servant's way? Hmmmmmmmmmm..............

Everything in the tea party arc is questionable at this point. Everything in it is just tricky, full of lies, ACTING.

Generally,

What kind of 'trust' do they have in each other? What a 'trio'. Funny. Really funny.

How NOT to be a trio. Hahaha, they aren't together at all. Never have been. ~

Hmm... having this...

What do these smirks hold behind them? What is he after? What are they (SHE) after? Ha, she is even dancing and waving her dress around in there, what is it that really pleasing thing she can't wait to get?

In No.6's case I think it was her want to get rid of Sumire together with setting the stage of getting rid of Tsukasa, too. Someone doesn't seem to have a whole lot of patience. Now, she wants No.1, No.7, No.3 out of the way in one go. How funny. How funny. This rush storm inside of you doesn't show on your face little thing. ~

Uhhhh, what a fake you are. ~ Hmm... even that whole show of "I can't disobey him" you put, is it for real? ~ you've been going your way since the very start and until now. ~ what a thing you are. ~

I wonder... can snakes have the color green? ~

A 'careful' thing like her needs to really be as careful when facing Tsukasa. ~ He is not one to mess with easily. I hope she gets that with her 'he can't see me' or 'things are over now. a "betrayal" is so easy.' ~

Tsukasa dear, you happened to comment on being proud of seeing her going her way back in No.6's case. Do you, also, feel the same way on the other cases? Like now for example? What a magical being you are. ~

He asked her about if she is happy with hurting others and she responded yes, her actions right after that chapter with Nene, Sumire-No.6, this arc with the whole school and Mit 2.0. Clearly she is more than happy. She is going at full force. What a thing. ~ What a thing. ~

Snakes and cats... hmm... has to be the cat to outshine at the end, huh? I just can't wait to see how her deal with Tsukasa will come to an end, especially with little koku being in the mix. I'm so sorry I committed a crime on your side in the past, Tsukasa. I hope you can forgive me.

Seriously, the 4 are funny now. a cat, a green snake, a dog and a puppy. Let me take the cat and puppy and take my leave. ~

Ok, enough of that. Lots of other things to focus on. With the 2 going their (her) way.

So, her dog can wonder around, is it because of her lame gift or because he is special? Not that I care. Nor that I care for his show off in ch 92 or even him in the cover of vol 19. so booooooring.

Uhh, so Nagisa and Tiara are frozen, huh?

That's senpai to you. Who would care to call you that? What a waste. Out of the rare times I wished Mit 2.0 will go with his "you're lame attitude" regarding him and the gift, I didn't get it.

Ok, so he doesn't use his blood ability unless it's really needed as he voiced out before, because it's it makes him feel gross. You already are with or without it, don't be so sad. ~

His speech to Mit 2.0, I wonder if they made that clear to him before or not? From his reaction he feels oblivious to the whole deal. If that was the case, then scolding him like that when you didn't tell him a thing is called hypocrisy, you so lame so UNcool hypocrite.

Ok, so he wouldn't do that to Mit 2.0 without a clear purpose. Is it to force him to create a yorishiro so they can destroy next by putting him in a life threatening situation?

Still gross, considering they only want to destroy it, regardless. Forcing Mit 2.0 to have a thing to care about more than anything, only to destroy it. Meaning they use him like some kind of toy from start to end. They will keep it around until its deal is done to them just to throw it away when it's over. Oh.... wait a sec... a toy...?

Yep, go at the right person at full force, Kou. Go ahead and show me what the whole of "my purpose" speech you gave while looking at Mit's photos mean. Show me where you stand now.

Mit 2.0, I really don't get him or Kou or their deal. At a moment he is all "I gave up, end me" then the other "ok, let's go to the festival"....... both forgot the main issue, the main problem, Mit 2.0's unstable existence. A part of what Mit 2.0/they reached now lies within his/ their ignorance of the situation they are in. So, despite nat's speech being trash, it have a bit of truth within it. Mit 2.0 and Kou could have done better if they just gave things what they are worth, instead of leaving them for who knows when.

So now, Mit 2.0 is in a real 'dying' situation. That will really show his real desire, and prove if his want to "be gone" is really that strong or not. A chance to be gone came to you, Mit 2.0.. will you accept it or resist it? Or will you go "if I'm gone, I want Kou to finish me" like you told him before? Will you end up creating a yorishiro at that point? What might it be? A thing to be your living line and at the same time so precious to you?

As Mit 2.0 peeked into all of his "old self" memories using his mirrors, a thing to be important to his old self, together with him, it's a picture of Kou, might end up becoming his yorishiro? It's in Kou's house though... if we needed a thing within the school, maybe even No.3's boundary... Hmm...

Again, it holds a meaning for both him and his "old self". Kou gave it to him and he held into it thinking of the hell of a time I went with reviewing the chapter, it keeps on showing in his arms then disappearing at a later shot repeatedly!. A moon rock, scissors, skitch book... it holds a potential of having this " 'first' precious gift" in it. The Penguin chain sadly got destroyed so... can it be repaired if he wanted? hmm...

Can it become Kou's lame traffic earing? For fun, both Mit kept commenting on it, it's from Kou, they called him referring to it, old Mit died in a car accident, we got an event of Kou gifting him a traffic earing... and were told in an early chapter it's something 'improtant' to Kou. Imagine that one will be the case. It'll be so funny.

I'm left with these options, I don't really think Mit 2.0 is capable of creating a human yorishiro (make Kou his yorishiro), that seems to be one specific task with specific circumstances I see Mit 2.0 to lack.

Now, thinking of old No.3's yorishiro that's still there. Do we need it or is it just worthless and forgettable like its owner? Seriously, the only character in this story to lack everything including an "existence" is that bird.

Hmm, looking back at Tsukasa's deal with making Mit 2.0 No.3... his speech all along was only directed to that, it's Hanako who went for the "old" yorsirho. .......

From what we heard from nat, it doesn't connect to Mit 2.0 at all.

Uhhh, thinking about Tsukasa making Mit 2.0 and making him stay by making him No.3 and then feeding him so he can keep regenerating, after that Tsukasa? What did you have in mind to do after that? You told him he can become human, he can have his wish, he's kept on living on that hope until his life became hell and jsut wanted to be gone, then kept going once more, you don't lie, right? How do you plan to grant his wish? Take responsibility, Tsukasa. He is not a toy you made to be played with by others. He is a being with feelings, wants and wishes. Either be as responsible to grant his wish, or I don't know.. try to do anything for him for him to reach a stable piece of mind and being. you can't leave him at the middle of the road. I'm sure you won't leave any of your work undone.

So, once Mit 2.0 is a full mystery will he take a new 'complete' form? not that I hold a thing against it but I feel his design in there is a symbolism of many things. some might be Tsukasa codded, even when his yorishiro is destroyed, he'll just lose authority over the boundary... would that mean he is a step toward becoming "human"? From what was said, it seems so. Uh, I see all that thing in lots of ways, one of Mit 2.0 might end up just accepting what he is, now having a stable existence, and give up on that wish. Why did he want to become human to begin with? If he can have that in his life already, is there a need for him to become "human" anymore?

On Tsukasa's side of the wish thing, having Mit crossing to become a full mystery, if we assumed he still wanted to be human, maybe once all Yorishiros are destroyed, if what she said is true..... looking at it in another way than all will be gone... if we reduced this all to the "lines" between life and death... if we assumed the world will be rewritten so the living, the dead (ghosts), supernaturals are equal and can live together... that means Mit 2.0's wish is granted along the way? He can have the life he wants without necessarily becoming human. Is that what he has in mind?

Also, if what she said is really going to happen, will Tsukasa be as pleased to go with it? I mean he goes about the rules, not the beings. It's like he is after rewriting the rules of the world to create and new one where all can be free to be whatever they want, not to blow away everything. How would that be possible with him wanting to grant Amane's wish? In saving Nene's life? And living a real life with her? what wish could he have while gone?

Uh, the whole Nene will die once the yorishiros are destroyed deal too... it feels like once he is gone, she is gone too. 2 in 1. brace yourself Amane. The DOUBLE PIAN you'll get if that were to happen! Boy............. we're similar huh

I mean from what we got so far, Tsukasa doesn't care for his own being, but Nene's life is a part of the deal. A part of Amane's wish. We need to change her fate, don't we? You going this way is clearly the wrong path, Tsukasa. Unless........ you have other things in mind. Regarding Nene's life and the world (maybe even your complicated situation). Things Amane, her and us are oblivious to. I trust you.

You're just playing with our minds and feelings, dear. But I can go with 'wait and see'. Amaze me. ♡

Ok, moving on...

The face of "it's over". ♡ Thanks for all you hard work so far. KEEP it up. *coughing* to hear... Tsukasa referring to himself as "Amane's" yorishiro for the first time ever... uh....

Unlike the time he talked with her... there is a whole 180 between her and Amane's reaction. See who cares for you, dear Tsu. Even when you want to be gone, there are people? not to care and use your want as an easy to achieve step in their happiness plan, and there are people! who can't live without you, ready to pin you down, keep a strong hold around you so you won't leave, you precious boy!

Don't go I want to be gone based on fake illusions in your head. Please realize how much worthy you are. Please unleash this want to stay with Amane you have deep down within you. Please... Amane.... I'm begging you to prove to this boy how irreplicable and precious he is. How your world is just dull without him there. Please Tsukasa... this time get it. Understand him, please.

Nene, please help them both get over this miscommunication issue they have! Help them understand each other! Be the hand to bring them together!

I can't with that...... I just can't.....

Hmm... now.. what am I supposed to get from his talk? Mit 2.0 will make a yorishiro? Won't and that leaves us with No.1's and him? Is he on board with what the 2 went to do with Mit 2.0? ...

It seems they want the 7 yorishiros gone, not only 6. And, it looks like he knows that, too. Hmm...

Well, yes, she said 7. They need to forse Mit 2.0 to make one. It's clear now.

Uhh, now I started to see Tsukasa this arc, no in the entire story as someone trying to live the moment to its fullest before he says his last goodbye. When little, before he got killed, and now... he wanted to do something special before he is gone for good, change Amane's life for the better, give him happiness. A thing to remember him 'foundly' with maybe? Having him wanting to end things with his own hands this arc...... with the last yorishiro.... Amane... Nene... all he did along the way from the very start till now.....

How could he be that good of an actor... or so collected let's say... shows nothing on him... in their birthday before he left... the time he spent after he came back waiting to be killed (not sure about his last year though) ... now... he plays and signs and... oh... how are you doing on the inside, Tsukasa?

If I went please don't leave Tsukasa, will you grant that wish for me?

Teru's internal monologue,

Poor Nene, looking at Akane, keepers having a hard time.

Hmm... I don't get him. At the start of the story he kept on going on how much the 7 mysteries are evil and dangerous, then kept going after evil Hanako, and then... he tells Akane they are needed to 'support' the school and they will be needing No.1 to stand up for 'Tsukasa' turned out Amane took his leave at the end or...? , looking forward to see No.1 really in real action. Having him voicing if the Yorishiros are gone the land? I assume the one of the school will fall down... kinda reminds me of vol. 19's cover... would that be what happens?

The pillars he had at mind almost took the shape of those surrounding the hole in No.6's boundary under the school as I recall it, would it be like... the core of the destruction to come? The hole that links to the far shore as I recall it? Hmm... can we see No.6 in action once more? maybe even all the 7 in one place when that time comes? each pillar looks like this one in Sumire's... uh... sacred shrines... sacrifices... yorishiros... unseating pits of powers to return to an original form of theirs... what a huge thing...

With Nene's supposed 'sealed' fate this thing is doomed to happen......

Speaking of that, how did Teru know Nene's life span and death is directly linked to the yorishiros? Hmm...

The Minamotos have lots of things under their sleeves. while he was talking in depth about No.1, he didn't seem to know much about Tsukasa's position and not to pay attention to her being mentioned before… hmm…

Following the origin of the school, was it built on that same land Sumire's village lies on?

It seems… that land… the red house… school… are all linked.

I mean, we have No.6's boundary being under the school, the hole there that he used to sacrifice Aoi once she fell into it can be linked to that original cliff, having the same thing of: Supernaturals are coming in and attacking the place, let's sacrifice a girl to stop that agenda in Sumire's village, the same thing happened in the school, therefore had No.6 who is an "expert" in dealing with that, used the same agenda. We dealt with the situation the same way. Had the severance happening, similar to the thing in the village, again, with supernaturals stopping coming out for a while. The mess happened out of having almost half of the yorishros gone, the protectors to keep the land safe from that happening.

We see the supernaturals coming from that hole, in No.6's boundary in general, also there in the red house, which is directly linked to the kannagi place.

A 'sealed' well near the 'red house' and Teru saying there is water and all under it… having it connecting to the far shore.

It makes since we're in the same place, land and all.

Having that nat saying to Kou "This guy's been a real thorn in our side. He is been stopping just about every single supernatural that tries to make it to the mortal world... before they even get the chance to wreak havoc there."

Hmm, feels legit connecting it to his old rule, that he still takes on himself as No.6, taking care of the hole/cliff and its supernaturals crossing in.

Hmm, now maybe his disappearance makes sense? He did his last job, got over his duty... he is free to go wherever.

Since he is told the whole system is not needed anymore to protect the mortal world, his rule is over... he'll do just that.

So yes, the school seven mystries - yorishrio system, Sumire's village system... are 2 sides of the same coin, deal with the same thing. One just evolved from the other.

After all, that makes sense why the school is full of supernaturals and all, Mit, etc end up within it.

Ok...

Talking about the keepers...

Could their uselessness come from the destruction of their clock as he put it before lol? Could it be that they don't care to defend their yorishiro or if it's destroyed? Could it be they can't use their time power for some reason? And that feels to not be it for the most part, since Mirai used her time power on Tsukasa and it didn't work, Kaku was taken by surprise and was down, Akane couldn't even turn his head around, the moment he did he was done. Tsukasa is not an opponent to be underestimated.

Their time power seems to take a little time for them to activate once they decide to used, even.

Could they hold up before his speed even for a few seconds just enough for them to activate it? Did they fight knowing it's a lost call? I mean he showed to be faster than the 3 of them to react.

Talking a little more about it,

With Mirai's case, she promised to move his time until he is 'dust', if she had succeeded, that will give a whole different story from how the situation developed. was Amane sure nothing will happen to Tsukasa so he didn't step in? Feels so. He wasn't scared Tsukasa will get it hard once he called his name, it's the opposite. He didn't make a move until Tsukasa said that "me" of his.

Thing is, when Mirai moved Tsukasa's time, did she really touch only the handcuffs and moved their time only or was it something else that its time moved? Hmm... when she moves the time of a 'being' no matter what she touches on them, it will be their time that will move together with these things. With Nene, with Kou he grew up completely in appearance, powers, not only his clothes. Tsukasa... assuming she only touched the handcuffs, they should be the only thing to age but...

Oh? now I see why she is shocked and why he only smirked. Missing with a being of 'his own time' are we? Hmm, it's amazing how there seemed to a somewhat of explosion, a huge flow of power to feel "reflected" once she tried moving his time. Unlike any other case she moved time forward within before, even with Kou it was a small smoke cloud nothing much.

The mystery of the red house... the thing of its own time, own space, own rules, connected to the kannagi place... it was hilarious how Nene came out of one on the taps

Hmm... what's on the inside of you, Tsukasa-kun?

Anyway, so Mirai's power of moving time don't work on him, Akane's of stopping time don't feel to work, the clock didn't affect him how about Akane, and Kaku... if he turned back time without Tsukasa noticing any moment that would feel to work somehow.

Are the keepers just trying to go with the flow so they will "observe", see how things will play out before Kaku finally turns back time so then they can finally get serious? Knowing how things ordinally developed? That feels smart.

Thing is... turning time don't erase the memories of those powerful supernaturals so... Tsukasa will also remember how things went and time was brought back...

Hmm......

... what do the keepers have in mind? It would feel only legit they have something they are plotting.

A thing of wait and see...

Would what Teru mentioned to Akane about Kou come to play soon?

We're dealing a lot with 'time' this arc.

And finally...

Mr. ^_^.

Recalling it, Tsukasa... she never agreed to anything let alone promised anything, you came up with the game and didn't let her even finish her line of "I didn't agree to th-". ^^

Ok... that moment....

...

Uh, have to say it feels cute how Tsukasa was going on a rampage up until it's Amane he's facing. He is just too gentle and "Amane?" ... oh...

And, sure enough, they are back in position, with the knife. What a complete setting.

Seriously, Tsukasa... he loves going and leaving him behind. Yeah, Amane... you have to pin him down to the ground and keep him in place. Nail him with a knife, take a tight grip of his hands, make sure he doesn't escape. Go ahead and be as selfish to even keep him locked in your boundary like a prisoner. Keep a ring around his ankle so he doesn't go far away. If you don't do this, he will keep disappearing because of some illusions in his head.

Uh, just thinking how the rooftop scene summarizes the twins' deal, with Tsukasa being gone for some time, reappearing back suddenly in Amane's life, then after sometime leaves him behind. "See you later". What a game, Tsukasa. Now I see why he pinned Nene down. "Stop leaving me behind. That's enough already. I can't take anymore." Then... the way he ended up against the door, or even the time Akane gave him a speech about what he did... Tsukasa had him hard with his act of "disappearing" to leave him all alone and broken, regardless of how hard he tries to prevent it from happening. ........

"Without you, the world is empty, meaningless. It's just hell."

Take turns. How does it feel? not that I think you didn't take her turn in your past. but still made the decision anyway despite you getting the feeling of being left behind. Just thinking she will forget someday and find happiness in other things. and then got angry at her for doing just the same as you did in your past. Tsukasa's comment was needed, you did the same as her, you gave up on your future and life to supposedly stay with me regardless of me agreeing or not. Even if I wanted you to keep living and chase your dreams and have a future. why can't she do the same as you did. too? you won't accept her noble sacrifice? You're unfair. Amane. You just go with things your way. So selfish. Tsukasa, sorry but... in your case this time I want him to be as selfish. Hold you down and prevent you from sacrificing yourself. Maybe the same also goes for the other one in your past.

Uh, to think that he went to try his best to voice his feelings out to Tsukasa yet all he got was a "so?" ........... 💢

Tsukasa doesn't get his feelings, doesn't want to be saved........

The time Hanako saved him together with Nene, Tsukasa asked about it. Mr. can't talk gave a cold answer, to receive a cold "so" later. Ehhh, who started the mess...

"You were there, too. So might as well save you." - "I won't be able to save you." now imagine how much effort it took him to voice that out after he failed the other time. and Tsukasa... not any of Amane's tries to 'save' you reached you....

??????????

Explain yourself, Amane.

In connection to the 3-loop...

It's twisted how this "what about what a person wants" plays with Tsukasa.

The first time he left Amane without "asking him what he wants", he assumed hearing Amane's speech that's his want/wish and tried making it come true for him. Amane didn't include him in there, so if he is gone it's fine, Amane is happy. In a way, that felt like what Amane wants (unlike Nene who Amane was sure not to want him to 'save' her the way he went).

Then, when 12... I assume influenced by Kou's speech, he made sure to ask Amane to voice what he wants. To choose if he wanted him to stay or disappear. But, Amane stayed silent it seems, making Tsukasa take action. Who knows, maybe once again Amane's lack of answer had him assuming he is "whatever" just like he got when little. He doesn't need him there to be happy. Him coming back home brought Amane misfortune, so he is better off without him. His unworthy little brother. He can be happy having his dreams and future without any care for him, after all... isn't that the reason Tsukasa sacrificed himself in the first place? Until Amane gave up on all that, did what he did so they can be together. Was that what Tsukasa wanted at that point? Or did he want the opposite for Amane? He wanted him to live? Amane went and decided for them both how they will end either way. Uh. Regardless, now it feels Tsukasa at least appropriates Amane's efforts in there? At least he doesn't show to be offended by what happened, he shows to love it? Even when he doesn't understand the message? I don't really follow him there. Maybe it's the fact of he saw Amane not holding back in general and that had him pleased. It's a logo of his. And, he accepted whatever Amane decided with open arms.

And now, it's the same. Tsukasa went with "that's what you want".

He makes decisions based on a "part" of what Amane wants. But, what he really wants is there inside of him. He needs to voice it out for Tsukasa to finally understand it.

Amane tried explaining he doesn't want a wish if it meant he'll disappear... but was met with a "so?" his feelings not reaching his little brother. It seems Tsukasa is still stuck in here... and just had a lag, can't move past that.

So, Tsukasa needs him to say it clearly. "I love you. I don't want you to disappear. I want you to say by my side."

If Amane did... would he reconsider....?

Will Amane's feelings finally reach him? Will they get past their miscommunication issue? Will they finally start to understand each other a little?

Hmm... from what does Amane really want to save Tsukasa??? What does he have in mind??? If I were to tell him to take a first step in saving him, it would be to start with Tsukasa himself, save him from himself, save him from the illusions inside his head, save him from his self-doubt, worth issues that come from within him. Then, move on to the surroundings.

Why can't Tsukasa really see your love or understand any of your efforts? A part lies within your lack of putting your feelings into words and maybe also, it comes from deep within Tsukasa himself. He is so self-defeated, fast to give up on himself, he doesn't see how amazing or precious he his. He is fast to see himself in the wrong image. Which is so saaaaad. How is he supposed to believe someone really loves him? For what? You love worthless me? Can't be. Why? If anything, you must be in love with a false image you made of me. I'm not how you see me. You care for me because you're my older brother. It's a given. It's like a duty. You care for little brother. Do you care for 'Tsukasa'?

I see before Tsukasa gets to understand the love of anyone else, he needs to love himself first. How are you supposed to see the love of others when you lack self-love? When you're full of self-doubts?

Save him from that, Amane.

Before you ask even though he doesn't really, he is that selfless. if Amane hates him it's fine what matters is that he loves him and ready to do anything for him and his wishes and happiness for anyone's love, you need to start with loving yourself, accept yourself. Do you do, Tsukasa? If you don't, how is it possible for you to see, accept other's love or even understand it?

Before Hanako or even Nene try to help you, the change starts from within you. Start with changing the way you see yourself and feel about things, so you can move a step forward. Otherwise you'll keep stuck in the same place.

How do you see yourself Tsukasa? How do you feel about yourself? Please show me.

Goodness, doesn't this issue exist within both twins? Amane, too... struggles with accepting love and has self-respect issues. Both of them need help. Both need to be saved. Nene, too... at times... anyone to love me is fine..... I just want to feel loved......... ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Their story is just tragic. One sees himself as really unwanted by whoever, not important in his twin's life and he is happy without him, even if he wanted to be with him he lacks the courage to do so, seeing he won't do right by his side, therefore keeps going with 'disappearing' from his life not finding the reason to stay anyway, can't get any signal his twin sends him to show the opposite, he wants to hear him tell his feelings, what he really wants, while the other struggles with that specific thing. Both are suffering. The one who rejects and the one who is rejected.

Tsukasa is miserable, Amane is miserable. Both are miserable. How many tears will they have me shed until they are happy?

One insists on leaving, the other tries with all his might to keep him in place.

Uhhh... how does it feel trying with all your might to have your moon not to disappear beyond the clouds so you can see him always?

Your beautiful unreachable moon... a thing to gaze at the grace of from afar, try so hard to catch. Make it all your. Your purpose. Steal the moon, Amane. Never let it go. You can do it.

How does it feel for you to be looking at your most precious moon in the eye, only to tell him I hate you. Oh...

A "I hate you" that holds I hate how you always go this way, how you're so fast to decide to give up on yourself, on us, disappear from my life to fill it with darkness and shatter my heart then come back to it to give it a light of hope and give my aching heat a chance of healing by having you close, then try to leave me again and again. It's painful to be left behind over and over again. I can't keep living with that. No matter how hard I try to keep you with me you insist on leaving, my feelings can't reach you no matter what I do. You keep rejecting all my efforts, refuse to understand my feelings. I don't get you. Stupid Tsukasa. You're so unfair. This side of yours, the way you decide things in this matter, this repetitive attitude of yours. I hate it so much. I don't want to play this game of hide and seek any longer. I hate it.

- let's play together like we used to? You said?

I don't want to play that kind of game. I'm sick of it.

If you love me, stop disappearing and leaving me behind. I don't want that. I love you, that's why I want to be with you. I want you here, with me. Always. Forever and ever.

How can Tsukasa see and understand Mitsuba's wish, his deal with Kou, if you're alike you can stay together forever, that's just a copy paste from his and Amane's, but can't understand theirs? Tsukasa.........

Why not shout all these out loud Amane? Might help you both.

He believes with the path he is taking, he is doing the right thing for your sake. Prove the opposite to him so finally we can have the 2 of you shine together.

All there is between you is pure love. Give it the chance to come out and see the light of day. Starting with gentle words coming out from deep down your hearts.

With the right amount of courage, determination, it will shine brighter the stars in the sky one day.

The twins. They are a lot. One powerful force.

May they reach their happy solvation.

****

What a chapter...

As per usual, I might be adding more stuff later.

Thanks for reading.

#toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #tbhk #jshk #ch 110

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