#crab people...

[nattousan]

i love people's willingness to get hype over dumb shit.

I was driving home today and pull up to a light. As i'm slowing down i 👁️👁️ lock 👁️👁️ eyes with the dude in the car next to me. I spring into action, this is the moment I've been waiting for.

Now, something you must know about me is I drive around with several small plastic 🦀crabs 🦀 on my dashboard, One: for the whimsy of it all and two: on the off chance i encounter another driver who i think could benefit from witnessing them.

This young gentleman was one such someone.

As i pull up, as previously stated, our eyes lock and I hold up one☝️ finger☝️

Perplexed by my unprompted gesticulation, the young man rolls down his window, "what the devil could this perfect stranger be about to tell me?" he might have been thinking.

I present a singular dashboard crab, green and brown, homely but not without its charm.

I study his reaction, grinning encouragingly. He's nodding, obviously intrigued by my plasticine crustacean.

I wag my finger and shake my head, removing the crab from view. Confusion again, but he leans forward, invested. I have him now.

I grab my second dashboard crab, a rotund white and brown crab, easily the most beautiful of my crabs as it sports large discernible claws of an attractive size and silhouette.

✌️ TWO ✌️ i tell him.

He's cheering now, and rightly so, as these are delightful little beasts that anyone would be happy to encounter. But now comes the clincher, time to seal the deal.

My finger wags once more. He's awestruck, I have him completely enraptured. If a car had come and smeared us both into the pavement we would not have noticed, so wrapped up in my display were we.

I bring out my showstopper: a bright pink spider crab with delicately long legs the likes of which had never before nor since been seen in mid afternoon traffic.

As emphatically as i can express, I display all three of my dashboard crabs to this man, three fingers pressed triumphantly to the glass.

the guy is losing it in his car, mouth wide in what i assume to be a primal shout of crab derived excitement. His arms are pumping so vigorously its shaking his stationary vehicle.

We sit there, sharing in a moment of mutual jubilation, and then the light changes, and we move forward in line. He drives off, honking his horn in rapturous exultation,

and we part ways, exactly the same perhaps but changed nonetheless.

🦀

#nat chats #like i tell it very flowery but that's literally what happened #i wanna make a bumper sticker that just says “ask me about my crabs” #just so i can show people #og post

[dazais-crab-addiction]

Tonight I learned that my 20 yr old partner has never played chess and doesn't know how to play chess. This is mind boggling to me. They claim its not weird for people to not know anything about chess so I. I need to see. Please.

Okay so, I made a mistake in not elaborating the meaning of the options. You do not have to be good or know what you are doing in the slightest to pick that you have played before. The middle three options are for your understanding of the game having never played it at all. The reason there's a percentage on the last option is because my partner made a tumblr so they could pick it because they think they are hilarious.

#crab says words #chess #tumblr polls #i learned how to play in elementary school and so did all my siblings #i use to play chess with random people constantly in highschool #im really bad at chess but its still fun to play ya know #i just am so shocked they literally knew nothing other than “the horses can move in an L shape” #i taught them how to play and made then play with me so dont worry i fixed the situation 😌 #pls reblog this 🥺 #i take it back!! my notifications will never recover!!! pls stop reblogging this!!!!!!

[desolationlesbian]

I am never inclined to make fun of tumblr's cheesy attempts to make money and generally support them even if you consider them cringe. Websites need money to operate and tumblr needs to find a way to make money consistently or it will cease to exist. I do not want tumblr to cease to exist, and the most common alternative method of making money is to collect and sell all of our personal data, which I do not want either. Websites that can support themselves via people willing to spend $25 bucks to commit to a bit is a sign of a brighter and more sustainable version of the internet.

#people are so weirdly averse to the idea of tumblr making money lol #like...websites need money to pay for things. your blog costs money to host and operate #the version of the world u want--where everything is perfectly free always but also never takes your data or asks anything of you #does not and cannot exist unless it's run on donations or something #and if tumblr tried to ask for donations you would eat them alive #so let them sell crabs and blue checks. this is the better universe. i promise

[emporium]

Crabs Everywhere Socks • $10.00

It’s my pledge that is 2023 we are going to have crabs everywhere. On your devices, on your feet, they’ll be a crab for anything and everybody.

75% Cotton, 21% Nylon, 4% Lycra

Crew Length

Fits Most Feet

Men’s Shoe Size 7 – 12

Women’s Shoe Size 6 – 11

#crab club #emporium #feet people (don't make this weird) #socks #crab socks

[skyberia]

something so scary but so sexy about the word "hallow", particularly when it's used to mean something you can do to someone rather than something. to hallow someone, to be hallowed. and it's mostly word association i suppose but part of it to me is how close "hallow" is to "hollow". turning someone holy, emptying them out of everything that actually makes them who they are in the process. do you understand. do you feel me

#post brought to you by the silt verses. though it was written entirely while thinking about harry du bois #this to mean this is both about turning people into crabs and putting the ppl you love in pedestals so high they become deities to you

[official-crab-posts]

hey everyone, i know this is a silly gimmick blog but i feel i need to clarify that zionists aren't welcome here. people who think the violence in gaza right now is in any way justified or proportional to october 7 and support the genocide being committed against palestinians need to get off my blog. leave.

people who use this situation as an excuse to be antisemitic also need to get the fuck out of here. it is never okay to be antisemitic and trying to use your support for palestine as a shield is pathetic. i dont want you around and i do not like you. when i find you i will block you. save us both some time and just unfollow me right now.

i just wanted to make my position clear. free palestine. 🇵🇸

#not a crab #the crab speaks #free palestine #from the river to the sea #i just wanted to make this clear after i saw a couple people followed me that i do not want following me. thanks. #also to be clear obviously this didn’t start on october 7. it’s been happening for over 70 years now #but i specifically wanted to address the claim that this is somehow a proportional response to that day #i didn’t get into the historical context in this post because it was meant to just be a quick response after i had to block some zionists #but it has gotten way more notes than i thought it would and also has led to a couple zionists bothering me so i just wanted to add this #also like dw about the zionists who show up sometimes. i just block them now. it’s not worth it to take the bait

[gayforbagels]

Pouring one out for Afghanistan and Anguilla and Antigua and Aoteoroa and Barbuda and Australia and the Bahamas and Bahrain and Bangladesh and Barbados and Belize and Bermuda and Botswana and Brazil and Brunei and Canada and the Cayman Islands and Cornwall and Cyprus and Dominica and Egypt and the Islas Malvinas and Fiji and Gambia and Georgia (the country) and Ghana and Gibraltar and Grenada and Guyana and Hong Kong and India and Iraq and Ireland and Jamaica and Jordan and Kenya and Kiribati and Kuwait and Lesotho and Malawi and Malaysia and Maldives and Malta and Mauritius and Montserrat and Myanmar and Nauru and Nigeria and Pakistan and Palestine and the Pitcairn Islands and Qatar and St Lucia and Saint Kitts and Nevis and Saint Helena and Ascension and Tristan da Cunha and St Vincent and Grenadina and Scotland and Seychelles and Sierra Leone and Singapore and the Solomon islands and Somaliland and South Africa and Sri Lanka and Sudan and Swaziland and Tanzania and Tonga and Trinidad and Tobago and Turks and Caicos and Tuvalu and Uganda and United Arab Emirates and United States and Vanuatu and Wales and Yemen and Zambia and Zimbabwe tonight

#text #op #dancing crabs #and many more #sorry if I missed you trust me when I say I am still popping the FATTEST bottle for u TONIGHT #edit: guys I copy pasted a shit ton of countries from fucking Wikipedia for a shitpost it’s not that deep #edit: the amount of y’all that are tagging this as ‘except us and Canada’ are missing the fucking point #it isn’t cute lol #EDIT: WHATS UP GUYS IT’S ME YA BOY COMING LIVE FROM. GLASS ONE OF WINE #I CHANGED MY MIND FUCK IT IM ADDING EVERYONE I MISSED INTO THE OP #AND ANOTHER THING #SOME OF YALL HAVE TO REMEMBER THERE ARE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE IN CANADA AND THE USA TOO #SAYING THE USA AND CANADA DOESNT DESERVE TO POP BOTTLES IS DISMISSIVE OF EVERY INDIGENOUS LIFE DAMAGED BY THE BRITISH EMPIRE #AUSTRALIA TOO #THE MONARCHY HAD A VERY PROMINENT ROLE ALONGSIDE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IN RESIDENTIAL SCHOOLS AND COLONIAL VIOLENCE #IN SETTLER HISTORY #ALSO TO ANY OF MY BRITISH HOMOES I AM SO SORRY YALL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT PROPAGANDA MACHINE RN #GFGFGFFGGG I’m not changing that

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

#crab day #yes i'm reusing my joke idc #thank you to the three people who've sent me crabs i am enjoying chasing them <3 #mini mine

[crabsnpersimmons]

I love the art you drew of DCA wearing a raincoat!! 💗💗

And this is a small gift! ( •͈‎ ̫ •͈ ꢏ💝ꢖ

Haruka!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN! YOU'RE AMAZING!

I love love love everything about your art! The rainbow in the background! The ripples in the puddle below! The flowers and trees! The lighting! The little sun and moon in their raincoats and boots!! They look so cute in your style! And! You even incorporated the textures in moon's hat! Oh my gosh your attention to detail is amazing! Your art is such an inspiration!

I drew a little response from the boys:

The boys love it too! They haven't budged from the fridge all day! I'm not judging, I have this beautiful art set on my phone and my desktop wallpaper. It brings me so much joy! Thank you again, wonderful friend! ♥️♥️♥️

#fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #dca fandom #ahhhhh I can't say enough about how beautiful this art is! #just know that sun and moon's reactions are 100% my own reactions #I'm just in awe #I have amazing friends #I'm also glad so many of you enjoyed my little raincoat dca doodles #they just started off as a doodle to give me a boost during my course work #but you'll definitely be seeing more of them! #other people's art #crab art

[feminetomboy]

This year we should start appreciating Tubbo's stupid shirts a bit more I think. The queer fashion representation that *I* desperately needed.

#yes yes Ranboo looks amazing in skirts yes it helps a lot of people with their gender dysphoria I know I know it's amazing #but Tubbo has a shirt that says I've Got Crabon Monoxide Poisoning with a crab on it #tubbo #rambles rambles rambles

[killldeer]

okay so now that it's actually crab day i just realized another thing that bothers me about it. it is still disability pride month. you're telling me. that we're throwing a Tumblr Fundraiser Holiday. in the midst of countless real disabled ppl trying to speak up about tumblr's unwillingness to fix massive issues like regularly letting dangerous, seizure inducing content get blazed and then suggesting that photosensitive users pay to make it stop instead of fixing the problem. during the month specifically about celebrating and listening to disabled people???

#people were trying to say that 'the creator being a bigot has nothing to do w the idea of the fundraiser' #but guess what! if you let a bigot come up w your event and choose a day they aren't going to take ppl outside of their bubble into account #people like say. the disabled people who have been raising these concerns. #sigh. #crab day #tungle dot hell #disability #disability pride month

[daily-crabbys]

Today's crab is: don't turn me into marketable plushies.

#daily-crabbys #crab #p-peetah 😰 #i dont know how many people are going to get this joke #if you dont get it thats fine. just enjoy this silly little guy

[undeadlobster]

#crab #crabs #poll #crab race #if enough people like this I’ll do a round 2 with other crabs I left out

[animalbabypolls]

Little guys!

#animal baby polls #polls #baby animal polls #animals #baby animals #baby crab #baby octopus #crab #octopus #on this one I had to specify I wanted ALIVE octopi pictures #Do crabs need like an aracnophobia tag? #Like I know they're not spiders or arachnids but do they also trigger people with arachnophobia? #They're a little alike

[crehador]

need me a ??? who can do both

#crab watches #majo to yajuu #majo to yajuu spoilers #GUIDEAU I LOVE YOU?????? #I'M #feeling like i finally understand firsthand what people mean when they say they are shooketh #i'm obsessed with him i'm gonna use her pronouns interchangeably

[mildcrow]

elliott doodles. there's just.... somethin about him idk

#bro is just so majestic #have a newfound love for him recently #its strange bc i used to be a sebastian stannie ONLY #hahaha...... right #sdv #stardew valley #stardew valley elliott #sdv elliott #digital art #art #also peep my lil farmer oc in the corner hehe #i really dont get why people hate him sm like ..... they obviously just cant handle how babygirl he is #also he has a pet crab. what more could you want in a guy #fungusart