#despite this being brought out by that prev post I’m not like. actually annoyed or anything. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jincherie · 5 years

Text

tentacledipity | four

➛pairing: jimin x reader

➛genre: alien au, space au, soulmate au, wanted au, smut (coming)

➛rating: sfw

➛words: 8.1k

➛warnings: none! well, a sprinkle of grinding and tentacle mentions but other than that *shrugs*

➛notes: finished this in the early hours of the morning so please dont mind any spelling or grammar mistakes if there are any pls & thank u!! also thank u for being so patient, uni isn’t kicking my ass per se but it’s definitely taking up a lot of my time these days! i hope u all like the next does of tentacle adventures!

ps; I will add links at a later date! pls enjoy & lmk what u think!

This tale starts, as any good fiction does, with a girl crash landing on a foreign planet. And, like any good fiction, it follows a theme of serendipitous happening, and tentacles. Behold, serendipity and tentacles— or dare we call it…. tentacledipity.

— posted; 23.04.2019 // ↞ prev. || four || next ↠

“What, you’re not even going to try and stop me?”

At your question, the two males shared an exasperated look.

“Well, no,” Jongin answered plainly, pointing an accusatory finger your way as he narrowed his eyes halfheartedly. “What is the point? You are just going to get away, anyway.”

Your incredulous gaze was drawn to Jongdae next, as he continued where his partner left off. He seemed entirely too pleased with himself, lips curled in a smug, kittenish grin and his expression sly, marks coloured light yellow. “Besides, we are no longer required to watch you. We have been relieved of our duties. Which, personally, I am more than glad for. I think I have aged more than ten sweeps from the stress alone of trying to keep track of you. Really, are all humans so slippery?”

“No, probably not. Just me.” You shrugged in answer, before his earlier words caught your attention and you gaped. “Wait—what do you mean ‘relieved of your duties’? I’m free?”

Jongin shrugged, stretching indolently across the cushioned swing that you’d found him and Jongdae reclining on, out on a patio near your rooms, when you’d attempted to sneak out of the wing. Now that you thought about it, they did have a particularly carefree air right now, something you weren’t really expecting considering how wired you’ve seen them some days. Jongdae swung one leg over the other, completely lax. The action left you in a state of shock, almost.

You continued to sputter for a moment, your brain unable to comprehend the sudden change in the status quo. Sure, this whole time you’d protested the fact that they thought you needed babysitting—ignoring the fact that it was thanks to an incident that came about thanks to you being a dumbass. But, if you weren’t under ‘watch’ anymore… who were you going to have fun evading and escaping? This was the highlight of your days sometimes, what were you going to do now that you couldn’t do it anymore? This felt like a big disruption to the routine you’d established here.

“Do not know, do not care,” Jongdae smiled at you. “We have not been told what will be happening.”

“Wh-what so I’m just, I’m just supposed to sneak around and pretend there are people trying to catch me?” you burst, feeling a little indignant. They should have consulted you first! This was unfair. “Who am I supposed to torment when I’m bored? Who am I supposed to trick with sweets and flee while they’re distracted?!”

Jongin lurched forward, eyes wide. “So you ADMIT that you did that to trick us!”

“No!” you wailed, mournfully. You turned away, dramatic as they likely expected you to be. “They were friend gifts… but I guess they mean nothing now. I’m… I’m leaving. I’m ending my friendship with you two. I’ll…I’ll find some other guard friends— better guard friends— who will chase me as long as I want them to!”

You stomped your foot, fighting a smile at the sound of their barely restrained snorts. You give them a half-hearted glare over your shoulder before turning and yelling, “Don’t look for me! You won’t find me!”

The second you started to walk away they could no longer hold their laughter and the sound of it makes you grin as you retreat down the hall, not bothering to try and sneak as you had earlier now that you knew no one was there to catch you. It was oddly liberating, to be honest, and you didn’t quite know what to do with the freedom. Maybe that’s because even when they were ‘watching’ you, you weren’t exactly restricted. Really, it was a wonder Jimin made them try for so long when it clearly had little to no effect.

Your arms swung a bit as you walked, a bounce in your step. You can’t even remember where you were going in the first place now. It wouldn’t surprise you at all if you didn’t even have a destination in mind when you left your room, actually. You’d been a bit lost in your thoughts lately.

There was a certain someone to blame for it.

As usual, the source of your dilemmas and deep-thinking was the ever-elusive Mister Jimin. Except, after the events of the other night in the hall, which were still painfully fresh in your memory, he had lost his right to the ‘elusive’ title. He hadn’t been bothering to try and avoid you any longer, something that kind of made you want to scream. It was what you wanted, yes, but not quite so soon and so intensely. You’d been in withdrawal for weeks and then he’d gone and given you such a big hit at once that you weren’t ready for it. You’d probably need another three weeks to come to terms with the male’s sudden flip that night and following one-eighty change in behaviour.

You were a little ashamed and excited to admit that he’d completely turned the tables and now you were the one frazzled and flustered. You couldn’t see his face in the halls—an alarmingly much more common occurrence after that night—without thinking of how it had felt when he pushed you to the wall, the way his body slotted so perfectly against yours. Every time your thoughts strayed to the memory the very same butterflies you felt that night returned with renewed vigour and you were flustered all over again.

Was this how he felt? All those times you tried so hard to fluster him? God, perhaps you were more annoying than you initially accepted.

You weren’t sure how you felt about the fact that the dynamic between you had shifted so suddenly and so sharply. Admittedly, that night if he had asked you to get on you hands and knees you wouldn’t have even blinked before doing so. The look in his eyes, the tone of his voice…. They brought out a side of you that didn’t see the light of day that often. Honestly, you’d spent a lot of nights reflecting on what happened and you’d since realised that there wasn’t much that you wouldn’t let that man do to you.

Even so, you weren’t a submissive person by nature, despite your inclination in the bedroom, and you really didn’t want him to think that was the case. You wanted to give back as good as you got, and every time you left your room you steeled yourself to doing so should you run across him.

Except it was a little easier said than done. Despite your affirmations, the second you caught sight of him the butterflies would return and you’d turn tail and run. It was shameful, and you were incredibly embarrassed at your own behaviour. Your mother didn’t raise a coward! It was just that, perhaps, you were a little more rattled and flustered than you allowed yourself to believe.

You realised you needed to be more firm with yourself, though. You needed to make yourself stay and interact with him or you’d never get over the ridiculous butterflies or the way your heart flipped and your pulse started to race. Again, today, you steeled yourself and resolved yourself to sit through the suffering if you happened to run into him again. At the slight tone of flustered panic that ran through you at the thought, you were quick to reassure yourself that it actually wasn’t that likely you’d run into him at all.

Well, historically you had been prone to being proven wrong when assuming such things and today wasn’t an exception.

In your wandering of the halls like a ghost with unresolved business in the material plane, looking for something to entertain yourself with, you happened to walk past a room that had a number of funky sounds coming from within. Intrigued and able to smell entertainment from probably a mile away, you were eager to investigate once you saw that the door was slightly ajar.

When you pushed it open, you quickly realised that you probably should have waited and listened to the sounds a bit more first. But, well, you were nothing if not an idiot and at this point, you were at peace with it.

“Stop! Stop, I am too old for this! Gods, Jiminie, where do you get all this energy from?!”

Confused as to exactly what you just walked into, you leant against the doorframe as you watched Seokjin bend over slightly with his hands on his knees to brace himself. He was wearing a different sort of clothing than you’ve seen before, the fit and material resembling more fitness-wear than anything. His breath came in short pants, apparently winded from whatever he and the other male had been doing before you walked in. Which, you realised quickly from the weapons along the wall and the cushioning along the ground, was… fighting?

Seokjin rattled something out in his native tongue and Jimin burst into laughter from where he stood, stretching a few feet away. He was dressed similarly to Seokjin and god if it wasn’t the most mouth-watering image you’d ever seen in your entire life. Deep blue material complimented his honey skin and raven hair perfectly, not that you thought there would be a colour that didn’t suit Jimin. His marks were a delighted summer yellow and the apples of his cheeks were flushed in slight exertion. Seokjin was in a similar state but unfortunately for him you were too whipped for Jimin to appreciate it as you should have.

Jimin said something you couldn’t understand to the elder male, who burst out loudly in response, “I have duties, you @#&@)#! Not all of us can do whatever we want, you know, I am the one stuck with the royal duties today! Find someone else to help you.”

Jimin was grinning, but seemed a bit disappointed at Seokjin’s answer to whatever he had said. A part of you wandered exactly what Seokjin had called him and you regretted that you didn’t know much kelkoe at all. Seokjin let out a pained noise as he stretched, closing his eyes, and all of a sudden you were overcome with the realisation that you were in the same room, in very close proximity, with Jimin.

Instantly, as you expected, the butterflies returned full-force to barrage the walls of your stomach. The sudden nerves made you feel bit nauseous and at once you felt the familiar urge to turn tail and flee.

No, you bit back the flight aspect of your fight or flight response. No, you said you wouldn’t run, and you wouldn’t. You needed to claim back a bit of control in the new dynamic you’d found yourself in with Jimin and damn it if you didn’t do it now then you never would. So, you did what you usually did whenever you had to do something not so desirable to you at the time and turned your brain off.

“Find someone to help him with what?”

The attention of the two males was instantly on you, Seokjin instantly appearing a cross between amused and sly. You didn’t like that one bit, and quickly raked your eyes over the other male. A mistake—he was surprised at first but the way his features melted into a curious look and his eyes darkened into molten pools almost made your knees week, like you were experiencing your first crush all over again. God, damn it. This was harder than you anticipated. You couldn’t help but wonder if he recalled the events of the other night upon seeing you, like you did every time you saw him.

“Sparring,” Seokjin supplied a little too merrily, and it was almost like you could see the cogs turning in his head. “Kelkie have a lot of restless energy, so it is common practice and customary to have a sparring partner.”

“You two are sparring partners?” you queried, trying desperately to appear much less nervous than you were. Your voice didn’t tremble, so that was something, and at least you weren’t blushing. Yet.

Seokjin’s lips curled into a sly simper. “No, Jimin’s sparring partner is the King, actually. But, since His Majesty is still on leave and Jimin has had an awful lot of… pent up energy, lately, I have taken to being his partner in the meantime.”

Jimin shot the older male a glare at his words, and you couldn’t deny the stupid ripple of giddy hope that dared to bubble within you for a moment. You thought he’d say something to protest his words, anticipating banter, but were caught off guard when his gaze simply returned to you and you felt like you were suddenly in the spotlight once more. Your heart stuttered—shit, damn it. Stupid attractive alien. Your brain was still turned off so that you could remain riding a wave of pretend bravery, and you scrambled to make the most of it and recover.

“So, you need someone to spar with?” You looked to Jimin, interest and excitement leaking into your tone—and it wasn’t fake, in the least, despite your nerves. You almost kicked yourself for what you said next, though, a little too brave for your current state of hidden fluster. “I used to spar with my shipmates when we had long trips, it was always a lot of fun. I’ll spar with you.”

Very bold words from you since you knew how much stronger and faster kelkie were than you—you’d witnessed it one time when you tried to fix a piece of hair that was pulling your scalp from one of Joy’s hairstyles and she’d positively vaulted across the room at breakneck speed to smack your hands away.

Seokjin positively grinned, but Jimin’s face fell into an expression of protest. His dark brows drew together, lips tugging down at the corners.

“No,” he refused immediately, “You will get yourself hurt. I cannot spar with you.”

You sputtered, indignant, and felt a bit of your usual confidence return to you as you pushed from the door and walked forward a little bit. “What? Mister Jimin… are you afraid a weak little human is going to best you in combat? I suppose I understand, the shame for you would be unbearable…”

You’d poked the bear expecting him to continue resisting and refuting you, but to your complete and utter surprise the male’s expression shifted once more, his mouth snapping shut and jaw tensing as his eyes bore into you with a new sort of intensity. That look spelt trouble for you and boy if it didn’t send the most giddy, excited shiver down your spine. Were you perhaps a masochist? This might be the time Jimin finally snapped and killed you for being annoying but you couldn’t think of anything but how hot he looked and how good it would feel even if his hand did end up around your thr—

“That is an excellent idea!” Seokjin was quick to express his avid support, but you got the feeling from the shit-eating grin that never left his flushed face that he had an ulterior motive besides backing you up like a good friend. “There you go Jimin, nip that stress in the bud. I am off now, I have many duties to attend to. Don’t play too rough, children.”

With that he bounced, leaving you and a silent Jimin in his wake. You were still reeling from the abruptness of his departure when there was movement from the corner of your eye and you whipped to see Jimin walking further into the room. You could feel a shift in the air, a new sort of tension that tingled along the base of your spine and made your breath catch. Keep it cool, keep it cool— you needed to tip the scales back into balance.

“Weapons?”

You’d begun to walk further into the room to join Jimin, but froze in your steps at the sound of his voice. It was deeper, rougher than you’d anticipated—he’s back was still to you and though you couldn’t see his face you saw the tension in his shoulders and along firm lines of his back. The shirt was slim-fitting and clung to his form everywhere except the sides where, from about halfway down, the material sported a slit. You guessed it was so he didn’t get too stuffy and so didn’t pay it any mind.

You steeled yourself, summoning some of the confidence that had returned to you so fleetingly earlier, and moved closer, stretching as you did so. “None is fine.”

His jaw ticked as he sent you a curious glance over his shoulder before giving a short nod and turning to face you better. This was the first time you’d been in his presence for longer than three seconds since that night and you felt an absolute mess with each second more that ticked over. Fuck, it was fine, everything was fine. You just had to hold it together a little longer then your nerves would wear off and you’d be back to normal. Probably.

As he settled into a loose pose, readying himself for another ‘sparring’ session, his eyes wept slowly over your form. You squared your shoulders and kept the playful smile on your lips, doing your absolute best to ignore the frantic pattering of your heart against your ribcage. You relished the way his eyes darkened as you stretched your back and your shirt rode up a sliver, providing him the barest peek of your skin. You could tell as you slipped into a loose pose of your own that from the tension he still held in his form, he wasn’t going to be using his full strength on you at all.

You had no doubt he was going to go as easy on you as he could.

But then, if he wasn’t using all his strength and speed, how would he be releasing the pent up tension that these sessions were meant to relieve? He wouldn’t be, so there must have been another reason he was about to humour you and ‘spar’ with you. Your mind ticked it over for a bare second before it registered.

He was playing chicken with you.

Something had changed in him since your last encounter, after you finally seemed to push him over a line of sorts. He was no longer resisting, no longer flustering and growing embarrassed—he was poking and prodding back just as you had done to him from the beginning.

You nearly balked at the realisation, but schooled your features just in time. He wanted to tease, to play? Well, lucky for him playing and teasing was what you did best. A wave of excitement washed over you. Your nerves all but disappeared as you resolved yourself, intending to use this opportunity and treat him as you normally would. You wondered, which one of you would bow first?

He must have noticed the changed tone of your smile, as one dark eyebrow rose in question. He tilted his head, eyes boring into you with more intensity than expected. His marks shifted colours from plum to rose, to periwinkle. A sequence that you had no idea how to decode yet still made your stomach flutter instinctively.

“Are you ready, petal?” he asked, and the nickname nearly undid all the hard work you put into reclaiming your usual mojo.

“Of course, peach cheeks,” you fired back, smiling brightly. He tried to hide it but you saw the way his lips twitched and his marks flushed deep rose. Even so, he didn’t blush, and the observation made you both giddy and eager to try and pull the reaction out of him.

“You may make the first move,” he offered, keen eyes catching every twitch of your features and shift of your body. You’d learnt from Seokjin and Namjoon that the Kelkie were a race of elite warriors, and you could tell just from looking at Jimin and the way he regarded you that he knew how to read and predict moves in battle. You knew then, that you couldn’t turn this into a game of strategy, or he would best you before you even had a chance to have fun. He was stronger and faster than you, obviously, but you didn’t want to make this too easy for him.

You nodded, taking a moment to choose how to proceed before you threw caution to the wind and moved on instinct alone. He watched, waited, coiled and ready for whatever move you might give him first.

When you dipped then lurched forward, aiming a light hit to his face, he dodged with ease. He had a bit of an unreadable expression on his face before you moved, but now that you made the first swing and he was sinking into the sparring mindset once more, an excited glint began to make itself known in his eyes.

You were right in assuming he would hold back. He weaved out of the way, incredibly graceful, and twisted mid-movement to bring his knee up, aiming for your middle. He was fast, but you knew he could be faster—with an amused huff you slipped out of the way and took a few light steps back before darting forward once more to try and jab his ribs. Like that, the two of you began to fall into a pattern.

Something about sparring always set your blood alight, and you could tell the same was the case for the alien dodging and weaving your light-hearted swings. The thought excited you, and you couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from your throat as he swung and you spun out of the way just in time. You continued like that for the next few minutes, grinning uncontrollably at the sound of the huff he’d let out each time you dodged. So far, despite your occasional swings, you had been on the defensive. Even then, there was no heat or urgency behind his attacks. You wanted him to put a little more effort in.

His breath sped up the longer the two of you moved, his expression morphing. Slippery was how the guards had described you, and slippery was what you proved to be now. He was holding back almost all of his strength and speed, but he still should have been able to grasp you with ease. Yet each time he threw a hit or reached to grab you, you would dip and dodge, dancing out of the way. His stomach gave an excited flutter, the muscles of his back tingling. That was what this was—the way you were moving and interacting with him, reading his movements enough to flee but not to counter, with enough push and pull that it kept him on his toes…

It was like the two of you were dancing.

It was nothing like sparring with his own kind, yet he felt his heart stutter and kick into a higher gear in excitement nonetheless. You had a habit of making everything so exhilarating. The more you pulled back only to push lightly, prodding him and luring him to make a move for your gain, the more he felt himself slip into it. He was no longer moving with the intent to humour you or anything along those lines—he felt it, deep within his abdomen, the knot of longing forming once more. He wanted to chase, to catch you. And with each smooth dodge and light-footed prance out of reach you performed, he felt himself growing more and more riddled with the need to fulfil that instinctive desire.

It was as though you could feel the change in him, the longer the two of you tangled. You could sense a shift and, true to your nature, immediately went to exploit it.

“You’re so slow, peach cheeks!” you let out a breathless giggle as he lurched fluidly and tipped his body in a roundhouse kick of sorts. You ducked, darting forward and trying to land a hit on his gut as he righted himself. “Are you sure you beat Seokjin? You barely—”

The male didn’t even need to respond, as your smug tone was cut off the second his hand flew to grasp your fist before it could make contact with him. Your heart lurched into your throat, breath catching, as he adjusted his grip and tugged you forward, completely off balance. You crashed into his chest with your own, his other hand wrapping around your wrist like iron as he pulled them both behind your back with ease. You were arched into him with your heart racing, stomach flipping. He stared down at you with a dangerous curl to his lips.

“I thought I told you not to push so hard, petal,” his voice was so breathy and low it was absolutely sinful, a shudder rolling down your spine. You could barely tear your eyes away from his own, heat flushing over your skin. Weak as you may be for him, you refused to give in so easily.

You felt his breath brush your face before you shoved your rapidly-returning nerves away and leant up, lips brushing his ear and the cool metal that dangled from it. Your playful tone had his grip tightening “But I like the end result.”

You felt him stiffen in shock, posture turning rigid; apparently he hadn’t been expecting that. You used this to your advantage, breaking out of his hold and snapping your hand around one of his wrists instead. You darted back then danced around him, pulling his arm with you until you were completely behind him. While he was still dazed your free hand whipped to grab his other one, pulling both behind his back and pressing against it in a mockery of the position he’d just had you in. The sound of his breath catching in his throat made your stomach dip giddily.

Deciding to push further while you had him in this position, knowing he’d snap out of it and turn the tables in the next second or so, you pressed a teasing kiss to the nape of his neck, breasts pushed to his upper back. The move was dangerous as it kept you within his reach for longer, but at the shudder you felt move through him you deemed it worth it.

Unfortunately for you, right after that reaction he jerked into action and broke his wrists out of your hold. Letting out a soft squeak of alarm that bled into a short giggle, you leapt backwards and danced out of the way as he spun and lunged for you. The dance began anew.

Except this time, Jimin had changed his tune yet again.

His marks were stained rosy-purple, shifting to wine each time he neared you. His moves became less hits and kicks, and more dives, lunges and grabs—and each time he got closer to catching you in his hold you couldn’t help the way your heart leapt in anticipation and excitement, pulse racing. The way he moved was so incredibly graceful and fluid, like a predator in its natural element, and numerous times you were so mesmerised it almost got you caught. Still, you managed to evade him, and the longer you did so the more worked up he got. Faster and faster, molten gaze never losing track of your form. You wouldn’t be able to catch him like this, you realised; you’d have to let him get close first.

You meant to lure him in purposefully, but in one of your bids to dance out of his reach you ended up stumbling over your own feet—immediately, he pounced. Your arms flew to the side in an attempt to reclaim your balance but you didn’t get the chance to follow through. Jimin dove forward, powerful thighs keeping him stable and propelling him to you faster than you could register. His hand closed around your wrist, using your arm and off-kilter state to turn you before releasing it and looping his arm firmly around your middle instead. The breath whooshed out of your lungs as you were yanked backwards, back meeting his chest as he contained you in his iron grasp. A shot of arousal spiked down your spine as his other hand whipped up to sit over your throat, grip loose but still present, thumb pressing into the soft flesh and fingers tilting your jaw up and head back.

You were sure he could feel your harried breaths, hell could probably even hear the way your heart was currently racing. Your skin was damp with the slightest layer of sweat you’d worked up from your constant movement and activity. You could feel his own breath panting against your neck, his lips and nose brushing against the sensitive shell of your ear as he dipped his head.

“What did we say about saying things like that so carelessly, petal,” his voice was a sultry combination of a lilting purr and a teasing coo, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your waist. Your hands flew to grip the forearm currently pressing against your stomach, before moving to his bicep. You attempted to shift stance and haul him over your shoulder, like you’d managed to do to old sparring partners so many times before—yet Jimin didn’t so much as budge. The thrill of being faced with such unwavering strength made your stomach dip and butterflies swarm.

You didn’t have the words to respond, instead letting out a soft gasp as he rubbed his thumb along the sensitive column of your neck. Your mind raced, thoughts stumbling over one another as you scrambled for how to proceed and what to do. He was about to win, in more ways that one, but alarmingly you couldn’t find it within yourself to care all that much. There it was again, the yearning to just give yourself over and let him have you. It was getting to be a bit like an old friend, at this rate.

Your sudden desires gave you an idea, however. You rolled your body suddenly, rocking your hips back against him and grinding your ass back oh so ‘innocently’. Unprepared and unsuspecting, the action wrought a sharp, lilting gasp from the male’s throat. You felt the way his grip weakened for the barest second and were quick to take advantage of it.

Spinning in his hold, as you pivoted on your heel you used the other to catch his ankle. The result was his knee buckling, leg knocked out from under him, and as you pushed him backwards the two of you fell to the floor in a heap. You landed atop him, as you’d intended, with your thighs either side of his slim waist and your crotch pressed over his. You were out of breath as you braced yourself on his chest, one palm flat against the top of his sternum with your fingertips brushing his throat in a mock ‘dagger’. His tongue darted to wet full lips.

“Playing dirty,” he commented in between panting breaths, eyes boring into you as his voice brushed your eardrums, thick and low—shamefully, it had your thighs tensing with the urge to close. At your almost imperceptible shift, his nostrils twitched and his pupils blew up, hands suddenly on your hips with a firm grip. He didn’t move after that, but you felt the way his entire body tensed.

“I’m not above it,” you smiled, struggling to catch your own breath. You pushed your hands from his chest, leaning back, and in the process of shifting your weight unintentionally ground your core against him. His fingers instantly dug into your hips, leaving a delicious ache in their wake, as a soft groan that almost sounded like a growl slipped from his throat.

“You—”

“Jimin-ssi, I am terribly sorry to interrupt, but Seokjin called for you—there is an issue that requires your input.”

You jumped, startled beyond belief by the sound of a voice at the doorway to the room, and scrambled off of Jimin instantly. When you turned to see just who you expected, you offered a glare. Joy smiled back, unapologetic and clearly amused at the situation she’d walked in on.

Jimin sat up, a hand coming to pat his lower back—you watched the motion, wondering exactly why he did it but unable to suss a reason out. He turned to face you, eyes dark and swirling with something you couldn’t name but that made your heart skip a beat in anticipation nonetheless, before he rose to his feet and walked coolly to the door. You weren’t ashamed to say that you stared at his ass as he went.

“Understood, let him know that I will be there soon. I have… something to take care of first.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you wondered exactly what he had to take care of, but he was slipping through the doors with a hand pressed to his back and gone before you could think to ask. You might have been confused as to what he meant, but Joy seemed to be in the loop and very amused by it.

“I see you’re making progress in wooing him,” she observed, tone playful, and you rolled your eyes as you hopped to your feet. Now that you were no longer distracted by Jimin, you could feel how sweaty and sticky you were from the whole ordeal. Ugh, exercise. A wave of embarrassment coursed through you at the sudden thought—did he notice your gross state when you were on top of him? How humiliating.

“Yeah… Maybe,” you said, dusting off your bottoms. “I’ll gossip with you later though, first thing’s first I need a shower. Do all of you really spar that often to get your energy out? In this heat?”

Joy’s eyes lit up at this titbit of information, the long raven plait down her back swinging as she tilted her head. “Oh, so that is what you were doing? Interesting take on the practice, I will admit.”

You wanted to send her another half-hearted glare but found her words too funny to be able to pull it off. A snort escaped you instead, “Hardly. He went far too easy on me for it to be considered a real spar.”

The female snorted, her marks colouring a delighted blue-green in her amusement. “I am not surprised. Jimin is faster and stronger than most kelkie so I do not imagine he would use anything close to full strength when sparring with you. Interesting that he agreed, though.”

You hummed, unsure how to process her words just yet. “Huh. Well. I’m gonna go back to my rooms and get changed, I’ll find you again later. I have some…. Questions.”

Joy raised an eyebrow but you merely offered her a grin as you left. “See you! And don’t forget to tell Seokjin whatever Jimin wanted you to.”

She rolled her eyes, muttering a curse under her breath before she gave a wave in farewell. “Goodbye. Take your time, please.”

You couldn’t help you laugh as you ventured further down the hall, “I won’t!”

x x x x x x x

True to your word, as soon as you were done bathing and changing you zipped off down the halls in search of her for your promised interrogation session. You were expecting it to take much longer than it did for you to actually track her down.

When you found her, it was on a balcony with Namjoon, who she appeared to be playing a board game of sorts with, and Yoongi, who was to the back napping on large cushion in the sun. He protested whenever you called him a cat and then went and acted just like one, you couldn’t help but laugh.

When she caught sight of you, Joy seemed surprised. “Oh, you really did have some questions you wanted answered, did you?”

Namjoon looked at you curiously after he moved a piece on the board, taking advantage of Joy’s momentary distraction. You wondered what he was thinking before his lips adopted a sudden sly quirk and his teasing tone greeted your ears, “Got up to some fun this morning, did we?”

You rolled your eyes, pulling out the third chair between them at the table and flopping into it with all the attitude you could muster. “I whooped Jimin’s ass in hand-to-hand combat, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Namjoon laughed and Joy snorted, the former clearly having been told what kind of scene Joy had walked in on earlier.

“By playing dirty?”

“My specialty.”

Another chuckle rumbled from his chest as he shook his head, turning back to the board. You allowed a brief moment of silence to settle over you as you watched the two of them make a move. When you couldn’t immediately figure out the point of the game, you gave up your observation.

“Anyway, about those questions I had,” you said suddenly, making the kelkie female to your right smile and shake her head. “I’ll ask them now, since you’re not busy.”

Another snort of amusement and she turned her head in your direction, dark eyes glimmering with mirth and marks glowing soft orange. “Of course, since I am not busy. Go ahead, I know it must be burning you up inside. Has it been unbearable?”

You nodded dramatically, ignoring Namjoon’s eyeroll. “Yes, incredibly so. I haven’t slept in days.”

You received another laugh for that and could barely keep your face straight as Joy shook her head, placing her elbow on the table and leaning her face into her palm. “Well, cheeky human, what is it you are curious about?”

You bit your lip, pondering what you wanted to ask first for a moment before deciding to cut to the chase. “Well, I want to know—why is it that every time I tease Jimin he runs away holding his back?”

It was an innocent enough question in your mind, but the reactions you received made you think that the answer was otherwise. Namjoon choked on his own spit, and Joy’s eyebrows shot up as she clamped her mouth shut and looked very much like she was trying not to laugh. A strangled sound from the side of the room told you that Yoongi had woken up and heard what you said.

Confused, you tilted your head. “What? What is it? Does he have back spasms or something? Wait, are your hearts in your lower back? Am I stressing him out so much he’s having heart attacks?”

To your complete and utter surprise, Namjoon’s face slowly began to turn bright red, and when you turned to peer at Yoongi you found his cheeks had coloured as well, the tips of his ears pink as he coughed and averted his gaze to the balcony. Joy was the only one who didn’t seem incredibly embarrassed at your question—on the contrary, she seemed to be having the time of her life.

“Oh, I love it when you humans ask things like this.” She was positively gleeful, grinning so wide that it actually concerned you a bit. “Your reactions are so funny.”

“What?” you pressed again, worried but also ten times more curious than before. “What is it? Come on, tell me.”

Joy, still grinning, sent Namjoon a pointed look and the male coughed, unable to meet your eyes as he cleared his throat and started, “Uh, well, y/n, you know that there are certain physiological differences between us and kelkies…”

You nodded, slightly impatient but clamping your mouth shut nonetheless in the hopes he would hurry up and continue.

“And you know, uh…” Namjoon looked like he wanted to melt into the floor, face bright pink. “Y-you know that uh, s-sometimes the differences are the ones we can’t see—”

“Spit it out, Joonie!” you couldn’t hold it in, wriggling forward on the seat and placing your palms onto the table. “Please, I’m dying to know, you can’t keep me in suspense like this—”

“y/n, you’ve seen porn, right? From Earth.”

You turned to face Yoongi at the sound of his voice, nodding as you did so. “Yeah, I have. Why? You need some? I had a USB of it with me on the ship, I can go look for it if you want—"

Namjoon choked, coughing and smacking his chest. You ignored him for the moment as Yoongi’s cheeks seemed to darken before he swallowed and continued. “So. Have you seen uh… you’ve seen Japanese animated porn?”

You stared at him plainly for a second, wondering if he was serious. “Uh… yes? Of course I have, I was a teenager too—”

Namjoon let his head slam onto the table with a loud groan, Joy letting out a delighted peal of laughter. Yoongi steeled himself and pushed on. “S-so you know, in the… in Japanese animated porn…”

“Say it for what it is, Yoongi,” you said. “Hentai.”

For a second the urge to kill you flickered in his gaze but he seemed to wrangle it quicker than usual. He let out a great, anguished sigh. “Why do I even bother—have you seen tentacle porn or not?”

“Of course I have, what does that have to do with—” you stopped short, his words ticking over in your head for a few seconds before your jaw dropped and you spun to face Namjoon and Joy with wide eyes and warmed cheeks. “No—oh my god, really?! Holy—”

Namjoon made a strangled, mortified noise and Joy burst into laughter once more as you stumbled over your words, a mess of thoughts zipping around in your poor monkey brain. As utterly shocked as you were in this moment, in a sense you also weren’t that surprised and, shamefully, the knowledge sent something akin to a shiver of excitement down your spine. Wow, you were really a bit depraved, huh? Then again, if you paid attention to the raunchy shit you watched in your teen years (and, if you were being honest with yourself, probably would still watch now if you had it) it would have been a bit telling.

“Oh my god,” you slammed your hands onto the table, on the absolute edge of your seat. “You guys have tentacles? For real? Where? How many? Do both males and females have them, or only—”

“Slow down, y/n,” Joy snorted, withdrawing from the table for a moment to recline comfortably in her chair. She crossed one leg over the other, seeming incredibly tickled. “One question at a time, or I will revoke your question-asking rights.”

You let out a horrified gasp, before instantly snapping your mouth shut and letting her answer the questions you fired at her so rapidly.

“To answer your first question, yes, kelkie do have extra appendages utilised in intercourse. We call them #%&$*@ but you humans describe them as tentacles and that seems to be easier for you to say, so we go with that.” At the sound of a foreign kelkoe word your mind blanked for a moment, but the rest of her words quickly sank in. Namjoon and Yoongi were still dying of embarrassment in the background, and you were a little embarrassed yourself but was by far overpowered by your burning curiosity.

“They’re used specifically for sex?!” you couldn’t help yourself, unable to contain your questions. Obviously, when one hears tentacles they think of certain scenarios, but you didn’t want to just assume. Learning that that was what they were literally for though… god, if it wasn’t enough to make you sweat like a sinner in church.

You could have sworn you heard Yoongi mutter, “I should have known she’d be horny for tentacles, who am I kidding,” under his breath in the background, but ignored it in favour of watching Joy’s features as she compiled a response for you.

“Yes, they are reproductive organs,” she said, a sly smile curling her shapely lips as she easily pinpointed the direction your thoughts were going. “Additional ones to those that some have found we have in common.”

You blushed, but still said what you thought as soon as it entered your mind. “Oh—I—two sets?”

Joy nodded, still very much amused. “Yes—and that is to confirm what you asked earlier, as well. Both males and females have them, but females have less.”

You let that sink in for a moment, mulling over the sudden overload of information, before your mind caught on to a certain detail that it had glossed over earlier and you balked. “Wait—you said you ‘some found’? Who…?”

At your words, both males in the room seemed to shrink in their seats, eyes everywhere but meeting your own. Joy snickered and they flushed bright red. A cackled built in your chest as realisation began to sink in.

“We have had a few celebrations and festivals in the time since the Queen’s crew arrived—you humans like to enjoy yourselves, don’t you?” She might have been teasing you as well as the other two males in the room, but you weren’t ashamed enough of your libido for it to have any effect. At this point, you’d been openly horny for Jimin for a while.

“Oh my god,” you whispered under your breath, eyes flicking between the two sheepish-looking males. The insinuation of what the extra appendages meant for their extracurricular romping in the sheets… you blushed.

Eager to return to your earlier line of questioning, lest you lose the opportunity altogether and they changed the subject, you forced yourself to turn back to a grinning Joy.

“So uh, where are they?” you inquired, somewhat gingerly. It would seem you had some tact left, after all. Joy snorted at your manner and tapped her fingers on the table, marks a cool, light blue.

“They are in two lines along the lower portion of the spine,” she informed you, tilting her head and watching your expression keenly. She smiled the second she saw you make the connection between what she said and what you saw. At your questioning look, she continued, “Yes, that has to do with why Jimin, ah… holds his lower back when you tease him. For the most part, they are hidden. They aren’t appendages that we have entire control over, and in many senses it is as though they have a mind of their own, following our base instincts and urges. When a kelkie experiences a certain amount of stimulation or arousal, they are prone to appearing.”

She gave you a moment for the information to sink in before you made the connection she was waiting for. “Oh, oh—wait so—so every time he slaps a hand to his back and runs away its just because I made him pop a tentacle boner?”

The female raised a brow at your choice of words but seemed to understand the slang enough to snort and nod her head. You heard Namjoon and Yoongi choke on a laugh, Namjoon slamming his head onto the table once more and disrupting the board game that had long since been forgotten.

“Yes,” Joy confirmed simply, lips twitching. “I do not think I ever saw him give such a reaction before you came along, though. I have to give you credit.”

It probably wasn’t something you should be preening with pride to hear, but you were anyway. “Ah, finally. My efforts are being rewarded.”

Yoongi shook his head, squinting at you. “How are you so… unapologetically thirsty?”

“We’re talking about Jimin, how can I not be?” you answered simply, before straightening in your seat and whipping a finger to point in his direction. “And let’s not be the pot calling the kettle black, mister! Word on the street is you’re just as horny as me!”

Yoongi balked, face paling before it began to cycle through about seven different shades of red, and Namjoon let out a strangled chortle.

“Don’t you have more questions for Joy?” Yoongi tried weakly to deflect the attention and change the subject, but to no avail.

“Well, yes, but I also have questions for you—and don’t think you’re off the hook either, Namjoon, I see you looking mortified over there.”

The two males let out long, arduous groans, and Joy erupted in delighted peals of laughter. What was going to be an informative afternoon for you was clearly going to be a very long one for them. You wriggled in your seat, getting comfortable, and dove in headfirst.

You were going to get as much information on this new discovery as you could.

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josephstoontown · 7 years

Text

Holiday Breakdown, Ch. II

Chapter II of "Holiday Breakdown," A Joseph's ToonTown story. (Formerly one-half of the story of the same name.)

So, if it wasn't obvious by how many things I've chopped in-half (or more), I write long stuff. That being said, I decided to chop this previously-22-page thing roughly in-half, too. (Maybe this DeviantArt limit nonsense isn't such a bad thing, after all…)

Word count: 5,515 – Character count: 31,948 Originally written: October ?? - ??, 2016* Slightly revised: January 13th, 2017 Revised further: August 26th, 2017 (* I don't remember... The original post date and the actual writing date are different. Sorry.)

Sometimes, the things people don't want to hear are exactly what they need to hear.

Shinko the Toon Girl and related characters and properties created by and © shinkothetoongirl Winnie Woodpecker, Woody Woodpecker, The Woody Woodpecker Show, and related characters and properties created by and © Walter Lantz Productions The House of Mouse, Mickey Mouse, "Steamboat Willie," and related characters and properties created by and © The Walt Disney Company

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“Hello, again!” she cheerfully said to the fox, waving one glove-covered hand and offering a warm smile. Joseph’s eyes turned toward her, ears flicking at her voice. “Oh. Hello…” he quietly replied. “I thought you went home?” “Oh, I did, but Woody left his keys behind and, well, I couldn’t just leave them there, ‘cause you never know when he might need them so I drove all the way back here to give them back because it would be awful for him to be locked-out of his own apartment, especially tonight of all nights, and I really didn’t want him staying over at my place and uh… umm… am– am I babbling?” she audibly realized. “I feel like I’m babbling…” “Just a little.” The fox’s disposition cracked just a little and he offered a weak smile. “I think it’s kind of cute, though.” Winnie gave a blink of her blue eyes. She wasn’t sure what to expect from the sad fox… but, a compliment certainly wasn’t up there on her list. “Umm… th-thanks?” she nervously laughed. “I, uh…” There was a pause as the bird cleared her throat.

“Are you okay?” she asked, trying to turn the conversation back toward him. “You seem a little sad…” “Are things different in ToonTown, Winnie?” She gave another blink. “Pardon?” Joseph let go of his legs and turned toward the female. “Relationships,” he clarified. “Are they different in ToonTown?” “I don’t… think so?” she answered in a confused tone. “What do you mean, ‘different?’” “Back home, relationships seemed a lot… easier… I mean, I’m not trying to sound brag-y… but, back on Ragnarok, it didn’t seem like the girls minded when I kissed them. Here, though…” “I don’t understand…” Winnie half-lied, despite Woody’s briefing. “What do you mean?” “Well, let’s say for example… what if you and I were getting cozy?” The woodpecker’s eyes widened and she leaned back. Clearly, something about that suggestion had rubbed her the wrong way.

“I-I-I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am, but–” “Relax, relax…” Joseph said with a quiet chuckle and a handwave. “I’m just using you as an example.” Winnie’s brow lowered, her face becoming angry. “E-excuse me?!” “Alright, I worded that poorly. But, here’s where I was going with that: If you and I were more, ya know… close, and what not–” The woodpecker narrowed her eyes… but, she continued to listen. “– what… would be your reaction to me kissing you?” “First of all,” she replied in a stern tone, “I’m very happy with my Woody, thank you!” Joseph couldn’t help but snort at the phrasing she’d used… but, he quickly pretended like he was clearing his throat. “Secondly… if you and I were… ‘close…’” The female paused, a look of irritation on her face. “I wouldn’t let you just kiss me! You’d have to earn my respect… my trust… and, my affection, before I let you get that close to me.” “Fair enough,” the fox said nonchalantly. “But if you had earned my respect, trust, and affection… and, if the mood was right…”

Winnie looked to one side. She was calming down but still seemed more than a little annoyed by Joseph’s suggestion. “If all of that were right… then… then…” She brought her hands to her cheeks, her look becoming somewhat shy. “I… I don’t know. I might pull away and giggle… or… or… maybe kiss you back…” “So what I’m hearing is…” The fox paused. “You probably wouldn’t scream and hide your face, then turn cold on me for the rest of the night. Right?” Winnie turned back toward the fox, her expression back to curious neutrality. “I… um… n-no? I guess not?” “Then, why did Shinko do that?!”

Winnie was once again startled, leaning back as Joseph’s calmness gave way to an almost manic sadness. His ears fell back, his eyes watered over, and he wore a horrible frown on his muzzle. If it hadn’t startled her so badly, it might have been a bit heartbreaking… “I– ah– whu–” was all she could say before Joseph continued, ignoring her confusion. “Why did Shinko freak out then just… just… lose interest, like that?! Was it my breath…? Does she already have a boyfriend?! Or… or, is it because of what Woody said; that I shattered her image of me… and, depressed her with how I did things…?” “I don’t know!” the woodpecker said in a raised voice. “C-calm down!” Joseph’s ears perked and he gave a blink of his crying eyes, blankly staring at her for a moment. And then… he looked away, ears folding and tail drooping.

“I’m sorry, Winnie,” he said with a sigh. “I just… it’s… it’s something that’s been on my mind for months, now… It’s just… it doesn’t make any sense! How does someone go from ‘Oh wow, he’s just as cool as I remember’ to ‘Gods, I hope he leaves me alone’ so quickly?” “I can’t answer that…” she said as she leaned forward, “but, Joseph?” The fox tilted his head and ears perked as Winnie asked him something. “Are you sure she even liked you like that?” “I…” The fox briefly paused before giving a shaky “Y-yeah!” “Are you really sure, though?” “Positive,” he said in a more confident tone. “I mean, at least… I think so?” Winnie tilted her head. “You think so?” “She was the one who made the suggestion of… ya know… trying to have a relationship… after we both kind of… confessed to each other.” “Is that so?” “Yeah! She seemed so sure of it when she curled up against me… softly told me ‘Maybe she’d try it, this time…’” The woodpecker gave a blink, watching the fox start to space-out. He wore a soft smile and an even softer blush as he sat there thinking…

“Try what?” she said, causing him to snap back to reality. “Huh? Oh, uh, sorry.” Joseph rubbed the back of his head and chuckled. “Got a little lost in fond memories…” “Okay? But, what did you mean, ‘Maybe she’d try it this time?’ Try what, exactly?” Joseph blushed again, looking to one side. “Sh… she seemed interested in… ya know… s-starting a… re… relationship.” Winnie gave another blink as Joseph jerked his head back her way. “I tried to talk her out of it! Or… I mean, I wanted to make sure it was something she wanted and… and she said…” Joseph had to pause again as he remembered something else Shinko had said.

“Hey, Winnie…” he said after a second. “I have a question.” The bird tilted her head, blinking her blue eyes yet again as she waited for the question. “What would you consider to be ‘affectionate friends?’” “Uh…” For a moment, Winnie was confused. However, she soon narrowed her eyes at the fox, becoming suspicious of him again. “Where are you going with this, Joseph…?” “Like, if you and I were to become ‘affectionate friends–’” The fox stopped as he noticed the death-glare she was giving him. “Eh… you’re making this explanation harder than it needs to be, Winnie.” He shook his head. “Alright, look. Shinko said our relationship would be, ya know, as ‘affectionate friends.’ So, going by that somewhat-vague description… would you say that giving her a kiss on the lips was a bit more than she was hoping for?” “Yes, I’d say so.” The fox gave a blink. Winnie had answered him so clearly… so quickly… that it had thrown him for a loop. “B… but there’s different levels of affection,” he started to clarify. “And, maybe, her idea of ‘affectionate’ isn’t the same as yours?” The woodpecker crossed her arms and looked down at the fox. “No offense but, you do seem like a presumptuous kind of guy. And, if I’m being honest here… I can’t help but feel like you’ve been kind of backhandedly flirting with me, since I got here… which, if that’s the case, I’d like to say…” Winnie turned her head to one side and gave her arm a rub. “I am a little flattered… but, I’m afraid that I’m not interested.” Joseph scratched the back of his head, a look of confusion coming on his face.

“I… uh…” he started. “The… thought never crossed my mind, to be perfectly honest.” Winnie’s eyebrows rose at the fox’s reply. She seemed genuinely surprised! “I mean, you’re cute and all, absolutely! And, you do have the prettiest blue eyes I’ve seen since I looked into her’s. Plus, I like your skirt. It suits you well!” Suddenly, she wasn’t sure how to react to the sudden pile of compliments… “But, ah… you’re kinda spoken-for. Right?” “R-right…! A-and don’t you forget it, Buster Brown!” she said with renewed confidence. “Which is kind of a shame… I bet you’d be a lot of fun to cuddle with.” Her eyes once again narrowed. The fox was smiling at her again… “You look really soft, warm, and cuddly, is all. Plus, you’re the perfect size, for it!” “Watch it, Joseph…” she warned. The fox gave a nervous chuckle at that. “Just sayin’!

“In any case…” he started again as Winnie relaxed, “I guess I really did screw up, huh?” “Maybe…” she told him. “But, that doesn’t mean it’s forever, Joseph.” The fox tilted his head as he saw the woodpecker offer a reassuring smile. “They say that ‘time heals all wounds…’” He looked down, giving a disgruntled sort of murmur. “They also say that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder…’ so, maybe, after all this time apart…?” “I know what you’re getting at, Winnie… and…” The fox gave a sigh… then softly smiled to the woodpecker. “Maybe, you’re right. Maybe, after this some-odd months apart…” “There’s only one way to find out, bucko!” “‘Bucko?’” Joseph’s ears gave a flick. He then gave a grin as he saw Winnie cover her mouth with both hands. “That sounds like something your boyfriend would say…” “Well, we have been spending a lot of time together, this season…” Winnie gave a sheepish grin. “I suppose it’s possible I may have picked-up one-or-two of his colloquialisms…” “That reminds me…” The fox gestured one of his chocolate brown hands towards Winnie. “What sort of game is ‘Find the Mistletoe?’” “‘F-Find the Mistletoe…?’” The woodpecker gave a nervous laugh. “Wh-what makes you think I’d know anything about that sort of game?” “What sort of game?” Joseph repeated. “What is it?” Once again, Winnie nervously laughed and grinned as she thought to herself… I’m going to kill that woodpecker…

Joseph decided to let the topic drop, given her reaction to the question. A moment later, the two walked to the door together to let Woody know what was going on. As they spotted him in the hallway, they could see that he was talking to someone on a flat, cartoon-ish cell phone.

“Really? That’s great news!” the male bird said before he noticed the two arrived. A second later, his eyes caught their glance and he gave a slight jerk. “Whoops… Gotta go! Happy Holidays, Mir! G’bye!” The woodpecker turned toward the duo and brightly smiled. “Sooo…? How’s my best gal and my fave pal?” “I’m feeling significantly better now,” Joseph replied. “Winnie really knows how to put a smile on my face!” “Issat so?” Woody gave a suspicious look to his roommate. “We talked his problems out,” Winnie reassured as she gave Joseph a dirty look, much to his confusion. “He’s going to try again.” “Great!” the male woodpecker said as he gave Joseph a pat. “So, no more long faces then, ‘Horse Collar?’” Although Winnie gave a giggle, Joseph just continued to look confused. “No more long faces. Winnie helped me figure out where I went wrong… I think… and, well… I’m gonna try and fix it. At some point. Right now, though?” He smiled to the two. “I think I should just focus on writing that Seasons Greetings letter I’ve been trying to write for the last however-many hours… Oh, and Winnie?”

The female woodpecker looked up. When she saw Joseph extend his hand, she happily accepted it, giving it a polite shake and offering a warm smile. “Thanks again for helping me feel better. I’d give you a hug but, well… ya know.” Winnie gave a smirk. “I sure do… Joseph. And, you’re welcome… you silly thing.” “Anyway,” he said after the shake, “back inside I go! Ya comin’, Woody?” “Right behind ya, pal!” “Not so fast there, Mr. Woodpecker!” Joseph paused in the doorway, looking at the two woodpeckers. Winnie had spoken up and held Woody back by the arm. When she shooed the fox inside, though, he obeyed, closing the door behind himself.

“‘Find the Mistletoe,’ huh?” she said, giving a playful smirk and standing cockily with her hands on her hips. All at once, Woody knew he’d made a mistake. “L-listen, babe! I didn’t– i-it’s not like–” Winnie suddenly pressed a gloved digit to his beak, silencing him. Her eyes were half-closed and her smirk had become a grin. Slowly, she stroked her finger down Woody’s chin and back up to the tip of his beak, nudging his head upwards as she pointed directly above them a second later. Woody gave a blink as he noticed something hanging on the hallway ceiling… a small plant with three red pods. He shivered as, in the next moment, he felt his girlfriend lean in and whisper in a warm tone that could melt butter…

“Found it…” –––––

“You two have a really strange relationship, don’t you?” “I could say the same about you ‘n her, pal! I mean, what kinda guy heads over to his girlfriend’s place on Christmas Eve at midnight just to hand-deliver a letter?”

Joseph and Woody were driving through the darkened roads of ToonTown sometime later, heading toward the Disney District together. It was a particularly-chilly night and the streets were strangely devoid of both traffic and pedestrians, everyone likely at Christmas parties and the like.

“Still not my girlfriend,” Joseph said with a sigh. “And, me, obviously.” “Obviously!” The fox gave a groan as he heard the woodpecker laugh. “On th’ bright side,” Woody continued, “at least ya got th’ darn thing written, finally!” “Yeah…” Joseph looked down at the yellow envelope in his hands as Woody continued talking.

“I’m sure she’ll be happy t’ read that you’re still alive ‘n kickin’, though!” “I wonder…” “Oh, now, don’t start that, again!” The woodpecker gave his roommate a nudge. “Just be grateful ya even have someone t’ write nice stuff to!” “I’ll be grateful when I’m out of this car…” “Why?” The woodpecker tilted his head, not taking his eyes off the road. “Whatsa matter?” “Well… it’s a little… small.”

Joseph looked over from the passenger side of Woody’s car. All things considered, he kind of looked like a clown in a clown car, minus the makeup. He was practically curled into a ball, his legs squished between himself and the dashboard, his back hunched over, and his head bent down thanks to the low ceiling. It was fairly uncomfortable, needless to say.

“Well, I didn’t want’cha t’ catch a cold!” was Woody’s reply. “It’s pretty chilly out, tonight!” “Not where I’m sitting…” The fox gave a pant. “It’s pretty darn toasty in here…” “Yeeaaah, sorry…” the bird said with a sheepish grin, his eyes still on the road. “Heat’s been stuck on high since I got into a li’l bump in May! But, hey! Ya could always pop a window if you’re too warm!” “I’d love to… but, the crank is jammed somewhere between my thigh and my tail.” “Oh yeah? Could be worse! At least it’s not–” “Don’t… even go there, woodpecker.” “Would I do that?” Once again, Joseph groaned as Woody gave a laugh. They couldn’t arrive at their destination soon enough, as far as he was concerned…

“We’re here! I think? Can you confirm this location, Captain?”

The fox looked out the windshield later that night. In the distance to his right, he could see the House of Mouse, the focal attraction for the area. It was lit up and decorated for the season and business seemed to be booming, despite it being Christmas Eve. Directly in front of him, however… “This is it. I’m pretty sure…” The two had parked at a large, ten-story apartment complex which, while festively decorated, paled in comparison to the House of Mouse down the road. Even with the Christmas decorations though, Joseph recognized it as Shinko’s place of residence. “Which apartment she live in?” Woody asked as he hopped out the driver’s side. He had to stifle a laugh as Joseph collapsed out the opposite side but was quick to help him up. “Let’s see…” the fox replied. He then began to count the floors, followed by the windows, until he eventually came to a number that made sense.

“That one,” he said as he pointed three windows from the left on the sixth floor. “Well? What are ya waitin’ for?” The woodpecker pulled on his arm, walking toward the entrance to the complex. “Let’s go!” “Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!” the fox protested, pulling back. “What are you doing?” “Aren’t’cha gonna deliver the letter?” Woody gave a confused blink. “That’s what we came here for, isn’t it?” “Well, yes, but…” “But, what?” “How are we even going to get in?” Joseph gestured to the lobby door. “I remember Shinko’s place having a locked lobby… and, we don’t have a key.” “Hmm… you’re right! That is a problem! One that requires a li’l squash-‘n-stretch!”

It was the fox’s turn to blink as he watched Woody pull a gigantic mallet out of nowhere. As he walked toward the door with it, Joseph was prepared to stop him, thinking he was going to smash the doors in. A moment later, however, the bird violently smashed himself against the pavement! “Woody!” the fox said in a startled tone. “Are you alright…?” “Yuuup…!” was the flattened bird’s flat response as he tossed the mallet away. “Just gonna squirm my way under here and–” The moment Woody touched the underside of the door, however, the Christmas lights of the apartment complex violently flickered! At the same time, the pancake-like form of the woodpecker lit up brighter than the 4th of July, hundreds – if not thousands – of volts of electricity surging through his body, causing him to make a number of incoherent, guttural noises and, not-incidentally, re-inflating his ‘toon body back to its original shape.

“Trinity Above, Woody!” Joseph half-shouted, rushing over to his friend. “Are you alright?!” “Sure!” the scorched woodpecker said as he billowed a massive plume of smoke. “No problem…!” A moment later, the blackened bird’s body disintegrated into a pile of dust, his eyes hovering in mid-air for a moment before falling into the pile. The fox gave a sigh, at that… “Oh, geez… Woody, you idiot…”

“What was that noise?!” Joseph’s ears perked and his eyes caught sight of a bright light from the inside of the building. Someone on the first floor was heading their way! The fox looked between the lobby door and his friend’s ashes. If breaking-and-entering was as much of a crime in ToonTown was it was back home, they were in a mess of trouble!

“Crap, crap, crap…!” he quietly exclaimed as he tried to figure out a way to pick his friend up. Thinking quickly, he ran over to Woody’s car, popped the trunk, and started looking around. As if by-magic, two of the first things he found there were a dustpan and a broom. It didn’t take him long to sweep his ‘toon friend’s ashes and eyeballs up. “I’m glad this thing’s an automatic…!” he said as he tossed Woody’s dusty remains in the passenger seat. He then jumped over the top of the car and climbed into the driver’s seat, starting it up a half-second later.

“Hey! You!” “Crap!!” A security guard had exited the building, by that point. Joseph didn’t waste any time and hit the gas pedal as best he could, flying out from the street curb and into the street! The car did an impressive series of six upright spins before he got it in the forward gear. Another moment later, he drove away, leaving the angry security guard stand there to shake his fist at the two. –––––

“Woody, you insane little asshole!”

Joseph was shouting at a dustpan he was carrying with him, still housing the remains of his little ‘toon friend, as he walked back into the lobby of their own apartment complex. He was more than a little angry, needless to say.

“What were you thinking?!” “I dunno…” the pile of dust with eyes replied. “Seemed like a good idea, at the time!” The fox narrowed his own eyes… then, he callously dropped Woody into a nearby trash can. “You’re a lunatic… An unhelpful, insane lunatic. And, to make matters worse…” the fox said, withdrawing his envelope from his sweater pocket, “I didn’t get to deliver this!” “Don’t worry about it!” the woodpecker said as he appeared from the trash can, looking completely unscathed, aside from the half-coconut he was suddenly wearing as a hat. “I have a plan!” Joseph gave a snort. “Does this one involve breaking the law, too?” “Smarty-pants. I think you’ll like this plan.” Woody gave a grin. “It’s boring, just like you!” Once again, the fox narrowed his eyes. However, his curiosity was piqued. “Go on?” “Well ya see, since we know which apartment your girlfriend lives in–” Joseph gave a warning growl, causing Woody to nervously grin. “Eh heh heh… I mean, which apartment your friend lives in…” he corrected himself, “we can just mail it to her usin’ snail mail!” “I hope that’s not a literal thing…” the fox sighed. “Besides, do we even know the address of the apartment complex?” “Nope! But, there’s a quick way t’ find out!”

Joseph watched as Woody withdrew an oversized book from his leg “pocket,” putting it down on a nearby lobby table, then whipped through the pages of the tome, reading faster than the fox could keep up. A few moments later, the woodpecker was pointing at a name in the book and shouting a triumphant cheer! Joseph was about to ask what Woody had found… but then, without warning, the woodpecker zipped over and yanked the envelope out of his hand! “Wh– hey!” Joseph shouted. “What in the void–?!” The fox narrowed his eyes, watching as Woody pulled a fountain pen, again, from seemingly nowhere and scribbled on the envelope. Then, before he could even begin to object again, Woody shoved the envelope in his face!

“There ya go, pal!” he happily said. “All it needs is a stamp!” “What the…” Joseph pulled the envelope back, examining it. “W-what? Hey…” The yellow envelope was now labeled with his and Woody’s apartment address and number, as well as Shinko’s. Even more surprising… the lettering was done in a decorative, calligraphic style which was absolutely beautiful! It looked so nice, in fact, that it was almost like the envelope was labeled by a machine. “Woody… I had no idea–” “Less chat-y,” Woody said as he pulled Joseph toward the lobby outbox, “more send-y! Here’s a stamp. You can pay me back, later!” Joseph blinked as the woodpecker handed him a small square of shiny paper. It had a picture of a familiar-looking little black mouse with a white face wearing gray shorts and a captain’s hat. He seemed to be driving a ship of some kind. “‘Steamboat Willie…?’” Joseph said, unsure of where he got the name from. “Uh-huh!” the woodpecker said with a nod. “Part of the Disney Collection!” “Huh… Heh.” The fox gave the stamp a lick before placing it on the envelope. “I’m sure she’ll like it.”

After sliding the envelope into the outbox, the two made the short walk up three flights of stairs and back into the safety of their apartment. Joseph flopped on the couch almost immediately, emitting a long, contented sigh. “Thanks for all your help tonight, Woody…” He gave a smile to the woodpecker across the room who seemed occupied with something on their budget laptop. “And… sorry I got a little short, with you. It’s just… ya know.” “No problem, Joey!” Woody replied. “Though, I gotta say… ya picked a fine time t’ send your girlfr– I… mean, gal-pal, a Christmas gift.” “Oh, yeah?” The fox sat up. “Why’s that?” “It’s Christmas right now, pal!” “And?” “Mail doesn’t run on Christmas!” Woody grinned over to his roommate. “Heck, you’ll be lucky if it even gets t’ her by New Year’s Day!” It took a second for Joseph to register what Woody had just said. However, when it finally hit him… “Oh… holy… sh–” “Niiight! The stars are shining bright-ly!”

As Woody began to sing, the fox brought a pillow to his face, shaking his head and loudly grumbling. It was hard to tell if it was because of his mistake… or, because of Woody’s impromptu caroling. But, at least… the fox thought. At least I got it written… and, hey, who knows. Joseph’s face turned hopeful behind the pillow. Maybe she’ll even reply… –––––

The 29th of December had been a fairly long day for Shinko… She was more-than-happy to be back at her apartment complex that day, dead-on-her-feet and ready to crash on her couch. Before she did that, however, she made a routine stop into the mail room on the ground floor.

She put her mail key into the box marked 605 and opened it up. To her surprise, there was something inside! Something kind of odd… It was a small, yellow envelope with a lot of fancy, curly text on it and a Steamboat Willie stamp. If that wasn’t interesting enough… it would appear as though the return address was from someone the resident hadn’t heard from in a while. The ‘toon girl’s eyes widened as she read the name. “Joseph Lithius,” she silently mouthed, her body tensing and her pulse heightening. When she’d read that the letter had come from right there in ToonTown, she felt all-the-more tense. Apparently, her old friend had taken up residence in some place called the “Rubber Arms,” down in the Universal District.

Almost immediately, she ripped the end off the envelope and shook its contents loose. To her surprise, not only was there a letter… but, some sort of gift card, as well! However, she ignored the card and focused on the letter, instead. It seemed to be handwritten in ink and smelled vaguely of spearmint. The contents of the letter were as-followed:

Dear Shinko,

Hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Well, I’m sorry I took this long to reach out to you… I’ve been a little busy here in ToonTown (yep, I’m still here), between my job and other distractions. Plus, ya know… that whole thing last April… But never-you-mind, this is a jolly time of the year!

After I took off from your place, earlier this year, I went back to Joe’s Diner. They directed me to a Motel 6, where I stayed the night. The next day, though… I got right to work on establishing a base-of-operations… sort of. I went back to Joe’s Diner, that morning, intent on getting a job there (since I liked the atmosphere and the people). Oddly enough, I ran back into that little red-headed ‘toon woodpecker again… and, he decided to tag along with me. Turns out, he was in the market for a job, himself! And so, the two of us went into Joe’s Diner and demanded jobs! Well… I demanded they give us jobs, anyway. Rather than throw us out, though, the afternoon manager decided to give us a chance as part-time dishwashers. I guess she must have liked the cut of Woody’s jib, though, since she promoted him to full-time afternoon-shift cook, after about a month. Who’d’ve thunk? So, anyway, Woody and I have an apartment in the Universal District (a bit of a walk east and somewhat south of the Disney district, as I’m sure you know) and I have to say, it’s not bad. I mean, it’s not cheap… but, it came semi-furnished with a fridge and an electric stove! We also found a smelly, old couch sat by the side of a road (don’t worry, we cleaned it) and Woody somehow managed to get us a little CRT TV/VCR and stand. Oh! And, we were also able to get a bed for-cheap from Mona, the morning manager at Joe’s. (She’d purchased a Japanese futon thingy so she didn’t need the bed, anymore.)

Now, I’ve brought up Joe’s a few times already but I haven’t really said much about the people there. Truth be told, they’re a really nice bunch! I mentioned Mona, already. She’s that lizard-girl. She’s apparently studying marine biology in her off-hours and even brought me along on one of her class-related trips, one time! She’s also the morning manager, like I said, and works alongside Wally Walrus, an old friend of Woody’s. You might have met him, already? He’s pretty friendly but he speaks kind of oddly… One-too-many knocks on the noggin, maybe? The afternoon manager, Minerva Mink, is, well, a mink. I’m surprised more people aren’t flirting with her as she waits their tables, to be honest. She’s pretty! Then again, I haven’t flirted with her, either… but that might be because she’s my boss – and a really hard one, at that! If I didn’t know better, I’d say she likes Woody more… As for the graveyard shift, there’s a cute little deer-girl named Fawn Deer doing the tables and a wisecracking little monkey named Spydor doing the cooking. I’ve gotten to spend a little time with Fawn and she’s really super-nice, but… if you ever eat at Joe’s (heh heh heh) during the night shift, though, watch your pockets! Spydor’s a bit of a kleptomaniac… and, even though he always returns whatever he takes, I still don’t trust him. At least not completely… Plus, he’s pretty crude at-times. But, I guess, we can all be kinda crude, sometimes… huh? Honestly, though… he’s okay. When he’s not shooting his mouth off, I mean. Hee hee.

Well… life in ToonTown has been pretty interesting, these past few months, and I hope that trend continues. If you’re ever bored and in the Universal District, feel free to stop by our place at the Rubber Arms, Apartment 3C. I’m sure Woody would be happy to have you over. (I know I would!) And, remember… Eat at Joe’s™! ;)

Happy holidays, Joseph Lithius

Shinko felt a wave of relief wash over her and she leaned against a nearby counter. Joseph had not only survived ToonTown… but, he seemed to be doing just fine! A warm smile curled along her face as she calmed, still feeling the shock of getting a letter from him. However, she remembered something… Looking at the letter a second time, she noticed that, under where the letter had seemingly ended, it apparently kept going in a postscript a little farther down. And so, she read on…

P.S. I almost forgot to mention! Did you know Woody has a girlfriend? Her name’s Winnie (I think it’s short for “Winifred”) and she’s really nice! In fact, she kind of helped me write this letter! I think you’d like her. She’s a little more down-to-earth than Woody but still has her moments of, ya know, ‘tooniness.

But, that wasn’t all. There was a second postscript.

P.P.S. Where is my head this Christmas? I completely forgot to mention the gift card I’ve enclosed in this letter! You’ve probably already seen it by now but it’s a $100 gift card for what I’ve been told is a regional chain store? There’s one right here in ToonTown so I figured it was a good idea. I don’t know if you’re still hurting for cash but, hey, everyone could use a little money during the holidays! Feel free to use it for whatever you need or even just something nice for yourself, if you want! It’s just my way of saying “I wasn’t sure what to get you.” Super-sorry about that… eh heh heh.

Anyway, happy holidays!

Upon reading that, the redheaded ‘toon recalled the card that had fallen out of the letter. She looked at it as it sat there on the floor and, indeed, it was a $100 gift card for Walmart – one of which had opened up some time ago, right there in ToonTown.

She looked to the card… then, the letter… then, the card, again. For some reason… her eyes narrowed and an odd thought entered her head… one that seemed to make a lot of sense to her, the more she thought about it.

Her key frames updated, her face showing neutrality. A moment later, she walked right out of the mail room and headed to the elevator… leaving both the cash card… and, the letter… to lay there on the mail room floor.

#fiction #Holiday Breakdown #commercial characters #The Woody Woodpecker Show #Winnie Woodpecker #Woody Woodpecker #original characters #shinkothetoongirl #Shinko #Essence of Ragnarok #Joseph Lithius #slice of life #drama

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