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#do it. its off-putting honestly bc i keep being internally like AHH and then i look closer and im like hey no theres actually no danger her
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#delete later#i am doing. okay.#im really amxious about lying. im terrifiedy parents are going to find out abd do something and its making me revert quite a bit to#old habits but im still doing okay. i haven't bolted at all ive got myself food a few times and gone into the fridge unprompted#and have even been having proper discussions sometimes and exoressing opinions which is GOOD. i only get the urge to bolt when im on my own#which is very good and although i know im doing anxious stims a lot i havent had a serious panic attack or been ill or flinched or anything#im doing actually okay mostly. i obviously am not doing the best#like i still have the lost duckling anxious unsure energy and i havent been great at starting conversations and ive been zoning out a bit#but im also okay and thats great!#though just looking at the way her dad is and comparing it with how mine is is uh upsetting just a bit. the jokes are just jokes#theres no like edge to them of ILL DO IT no sharp grin and leaning in close or serious tone at the end that lets me know he would actually#do it. its off-putting honestly bc i keep being internally like AHH and then i look closer and im like hey no theres actually no danger her#contrast that with my dad on the phone today who said in rekation to me sleeping in late that if i was with them theres no way they#would allow it. said it once with a laugh then once more completely seriously so i know its true. freaked me out a lot. its a tiny thing bu#the tone he uses which lets you know you have no choice in the matter and youd better just do as your told is scary. its scary.#there has not been a point here where friend has looked scared of her dad. she challenged him multiple times and they all laughed it off#its fucking wild. no one has poked fun at anything ive done other than little teasing from friend that i know is just normal. i dont know#i wish i wasnt scared that they will start yelling or making fun of me bc thats not normal and im amgry.#im angry.#everything here is nice and it feels weird and i hate it i keep wauting for something to happen and it isnt happening and i want it to just#happen to get it over with but i dont bc then itll hurt and i dont want it to snd she promised its all okay but it cant be bc thats not how#things work except apparently it ahould work like that#amd now im crying and very thankful that this place is so soundproofed bc im dumb abd this is unfair abd stupid#another example of ill be fine by tomorriw just gotta get the emotions out#but like i just had a snacj from the pile they have sll said i can have things from anytime and i couldnt stop myaelf hiding tge wrapper#in my bag bc maybe theyll see it in the bin snd bw angry i#and remembering my strategies for hiding rubbish in layers of litchen towel or taking out the bins to hide it underneath the bag or#putting it in pockets until i could throw it out wuth the sweet wrapper frim my grandparents THAT ISNT NORMAL WHAT THE FUCK#i domt know why i do this!!! my mum has always let us have fruit from the bowl and drinks from cabinets and most things. i dont UNDERSTAND#theres no reason for this other than ita just a misplaced response to being tightly controlled but i dont know. maybe it is. i just have it
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mythiccheroacademia · 3 years
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—lunch box
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A/N: just another cute idea i had because i’m obsessed with barbarian/dragon king!bakugo and fantasy shit in general. some context: you and bakugo are betrothed—although, sometimes you wish you weren’t bc he can be a real asshole. luckily for you, he’s willing to work on it bc he likes loves you just that much. a litte angst (it wouldn’t be a mtha story without it) but it ends in fluff <3
Warnings: cursing
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Your friends looked at their food with heart eyes and dug into the neatly wrapped box with fever.
“Ahh! Thank you for making this, Y/N!” one of them exclaimed. The other could only nod in agreement, too into your cooking to speak.
You smiled and waved them off. “It was nothing. Consider it a thank you for letting me copy the homework last night,” you chuckled.
“Did you cook one for Prince Bakugo? I’d imagine he’d love it! If there’s anyone’s cooking he loves more than his own, it’s yours!”
At the mention of his name, your expression fell. You looked down at the case of food you had prepared for him as an apology.
Four days ago, you two were hanging around his residence. You managed to get him to dance around with you. Well, it more like you were dancing and he was doing his best not to combust in embarrassment. Katsuki warned you that you shouldn’t be too reckless otherwise you’d break something.
Of course, you paid him no mind, too enthralled with your fun to notice your proximity to a nearby statue—one of the Bakugo family’s treasures.
One thing led to another, and you knocked it over, shattering it before either of you could even react. Your rich skin lost its glow and your boyfriend cursed something nasty.
Least to say, his parents were not happy. But instead of being rightfully scolded, Bakugo had taken the blame for it.
They found him attempting to clean it up and assumed it was his fault. You wanted to correct them, but he threw you a nasty glare, sealing your mouth shut. He was now under punishment until they deemed fit and from then on, he hadn't spoken a friendly word to you.
A little sigh escaped your lips. Your two friends looked at each other before offering you encouraging smiles.
“Hey,” one spoke, placing a hand on your knee. You met her gaze. “You should go give it to him. He’d love it.”
There was a moment of silence before you decided to act. Taking the spur of confidence, you stood up and briskly made your way to the other classroom. Just before you entered, you heard his voice and felt your heart waver with anxiousness.
However, now wasn’t the time to let doubt consume you. Things wouldn’t get better until something was done.
You took a deep breath, calming your nerves, before opening the door and walking in. Your eyes scanned the room and found the young dragon prince amongst his group of friends.
Jaw set, you walked over to them, hands firmly around the packaged food.
Kirishima saw you first and gave you a friendly wave.
“Hey Princess L/N!”
“Hi boys! How’re ya doing?” you politely asked, putting on your best smile.
They gave you an upbeat answer that lifted your spirits.
Despite that, you hadn't heard a response from Bakugo. In fact, he hadn't even looked at you—but you wouldn’t be disheartened. You fueled herself with faux confidence and held out the dish to your betrothed.
“I-I made you something small yesterday, as an apology,” you stuttered.
Katsuki finally looked up, indifference in his stare. Ruby eyes flickered down to the box filled with rice, chicken, vegetables, and a small pastry on the side. His favorite kind. For a moment, he seemed like considered your offer, but you suffered the low blow of humiliation when he turned away to look through the window.
“Thanks, but I’ve already eaten. Should’ve given it to me earlier.”
Something in your stomach fell. Crushing rejection blossomed up your throat with each passing second. His words were cold, harsh, and unforgiving. It might’ve been stupid, overdramatic even, but it hurt.
Heartbroken wasn’t even the word.
Your nose burned, eyes blurring before you could stop it. Your chest tightened with embarrassment. Luckily, you mustered enough strength to hold in whatever was threatening to crumble you.
“Oh,” you dumbly responded.
“I’ll take it!” Kaminari excitedly said.
“No, I will! I’m still starving!” Kirishima chided.
You placed the box down, struggling to keep up your act.
“Split it between the both of you. I hope it’s good!” You internally winced over how high your voice had become. “I’m gonna to get going now. I’ll see you guys after school, yeah?”
And before anything else was said, you bolted straight out of the room. You hadn’t bothered to look at Katsuki. Knowing him, he probably hadn't noticed the strain in your voice.
As soon as you were out of sight, the tears flooded. You held your hands against your mouth, desperate to muffle your cries. You quickly took you into the nearest bathroom and you prayed no one had seen you lest there be questions. If you went to your friends, it’d cause a commotion. Your parents would eventually find out and you didn’t want any more problems.
So, you cried your eyes raw and eventually willed yourself to stop when it was time to return to class.
The week had gone by without another interaction. The weekend brought you some relief since you wouldn’t be forced to see Katsuki’s face for the time being. Or so you thought.
All you wanted to do was run some errands for your parents and then go back home and continue sulking. Yet the universe would not let you rest.
The moment you caught Bakugo’s eyes, you pivoted on your heel and booked it the other way. You assumed his anger with you would force him to keep his distance.
But you were thoroughly surprised to find he was following after you.
“Y/N,” he called.
Irritation and hurt filled your chest. You only walked faster, clutching the purse against her chest.
“Y/N, stop,” he demanded to which you promptly ignored.
This went on for a good thirty seconds until Bakugo decided he had enough. Without much noise, he ran up to you, grabbing you by the shoulder.
You weren’t having it.
You harshly shrugged off his hand. “Don’t touch me,” you snapped, keeping your eyes forward.
“I need to talk to you,” Katsuki grumbled.
“Well I don’t want to talk to you. So maybe some other time.”
Truthfully, the crowned prince found himself shocked at your coldness. Despite your innate boldness, he wasn’t used to such an icy tone. Especially directed at him.
His father warned him to never attack in these situations, but Bakugo let his temper get the best of him. His first reaction was to frown and deal back harsher words.
“What’s your fucking problem, dumbass? When I say stop, stop!”
A spike of anger flooded your veins. You whirled around on your heel and glared at him with frosty eyes. You felt compelled to drop your papers and slap him, but instead, you settled for a finger in his face.
“First of all, I’m not some dog you can just order around, you jerk! And just because we’re betrothed doesn’t mean I’m some girl you can treat like dirt whenever you feel like it! Until you apologize, leave me alone because my only problem right now is you. Bye.”
And just as quickly as you came, you turned to leave.
Now Bakugo was actually stunned. Forget, cold, this was a side of you he hadn't ever experienced. Admittedly, he hadn’t been spoken to like that from anyone besides his mother—and she only got away with it because she was not only the queen…but he was his mom.
Katsuki honestly didn’t know how to handle it. It was only then that he concentrated back on his father’s advice. Whenever his mother was upset with his dad, his father would fight back, but never with emotional anger. Always with humbleness and an understanding tongue.
It usually did the trick considering his mother could never stay upset with him for more than a night. It always struck the teen with hidden awe. Sometimes, Katsuki thought his dad was an angel.
Bakugo was no angel, but he hoped it’d have the same affect on you.
The blonde teen softened his face and walked up behind you. He stopped you, wrapping his arms around your waist to lie his forehead against the decorated braids the fell down your back.
“Damn it. I’m sorry okay?” he lowly said, face burning from such a public display of affection. “Just hear me out.”
You didn’t speak and he clenched his jaw.
“Please.”
You inwardly cursed your rapidly beating heart. If it weren’t for how stupidly nice being in his arms was (he was definitely working out more), and the fact that you found him kinda cute begging for your permission, maybe you wouldn’t have caved in so easily.
For now, you’d blame it on the fact that you two were destined to wed. It was better to start dealing with fights now so, hopefully, the future held less of them.
You heaved a sigh, unwillingly ignoring your body’s urge to curl in his arms. Instead, you pulled away and turned to face him. You peered into unsure crimson eyes with as much harshness you could conjure.
“Fine. Speak,” you permitted.
There was a small pause as he gathered his thoughts. When he opened his mouth, you instantly regretted it.
“I’m still mad at you for being dumb and breaking one of family’s treasures. And I’m still fucking pissed that my old hag is on my ass about it,” he started and noticed how your eyes narrowed in contempt.
You were about to turn away, thinking this was a waste of time. However, Bakugo took a hold of your wrist before you could leave.
“Leave me alone! If you didn’t want to get in trouble, you should’ve just let me take the blame. I can't believe I thought you’d apologize—“
“Let me finish, princess.”
It was your title, yet you felt your stomach flip when it came from his lips. You refused to let it influence you…but you’d give him another chance.
Bakugo stepped closer to you. “I’m upset, but I took the punishment because I wanted to. You didn’t mean to break it. Accidents happen, I understand that.”
There was a pregnant pause. Then, you softened your gaze a bit, eyes still lit with inquiry. “Why? Why would you do that if it meant getting in trouble? I could’ve taken the blame just fine.”
“Y/N, you freak the fuck out whenever you don’t get a perfect score on an exam. You try not to mess up and when you do, it’s like the world is ending,” he explained with a teasing smirk. You ungracefully snorted. He had a point. “When you broke the vase, I could hear your heart drop. You were two seconds away from crying. And when I saw how scared you looked I just—I don’t know.”
The look on your face was something between shock, surprise, and wonder. You blinked, thick lips parting slightly in awe.
“Katsuki…” you breathed to which the boy heavily blushed. Realizing how sappy he sounded, his mind screamed at him to cut it out.
Bakugo looked down and noticed he was still holding your wrist. He quickly let go and instinctively rubbed the nape of his neck.
“D-don’t be dramatic. I just didn’t wanna see you moping around or some shit. My father said that it wasn’t that important anyway…the vase I mean,” he mumbled.
Sure it wasn’t, you thought. What were you gonna do with this boy?
You supposed an apology was a good start.
“That was very nice and admirable of you Katsuki. Thank you,” you eventually said. “I’m still really sorry about the vase, and for being mean to you just now.”
He shook his head. “I know, but I’m the one that should be apologizing. I ain’t hafta treat you the way I did. I was being an ass for not accepting the food you made for me earlier.”
“Yeah you were, ya bastard.”
He chuckled at that. “The two idiots wouldn’t stop raving over how good it was.”
“Well, I had the best teacher in the kingdom,” you grinned.
“And I had an even better student,” he winked.
Your smile widened. Maybe marrying him wouldn’t be so bad.
You couldn’t help yourself when you heartily embraced him, enjoying how his arms slowly slithered around the small of your back. Your eyes met and you kissed him on the lips, leaving him with a little gasp. You pulled away and giggled under your breath.
“You know, you're a sweet guy underneath all that false bravado.”
“False brav—what the hell are you going on about!?”
Ignoring his explosive behavior, you readjusted the straps on your shoulder before turning on your heel.
“Don’t bring anything for lunch on Monday, okay? I’ll see you later, blondie.”
Despite his little tantrum, Bakugo still watched you disappear into the store with a gentle expression. You gave him more headaches than he cared for, but you were worth it. Besides, he was sure you could say the same for him.
Bakugo turned to leave and passed his fingertips over where your lips touched his own.
He’d never admit to the giddiness in his chest. He’d take that shit to the grave.
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lesbiancarat · 3 years
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Lol its fine!! Reply whenever you can ^_^
But ahh true, true. Idk why I thought it would be a hint to the music lol but a sort og an evolution of the concept so to speak. Either way, am excited for the comeback because fresh svt is always iconic. Oohhh the concept photos are all pretty and idk which one to pick jfkshfjsjd. Like they are all very on brand for them but also unique and pretty. Very artsy haha.
Ahh yes, rabbitnwas forever iconic and it was what helped other places like discord to do similar things! But ah understandable!! Both seventeen and nct (when I was getting into kpop more) always felt like BIG well known groups due to their fandoms being so big at least to me. Especially when people always recommended their songs i just assumed they have been around for a while like bts when I joined only to realize they are still rookies. Monster rookies indeed!! The fact so many people love them is enough for me to say they are amazing, well respected and loved by many. Those comments annoy me, especially when people downplay their hard work by claiming 'bighit helped them get more famous' like what!? Yes bighit did help with getting more western attention per se but like downplaying as if they haven't achieved anything at all is confusing to me. Claiming how streaming fans aren't doing s good job to which im like one, mass streaming isn't healthy and two, fans who do try their best and we do beat records of our own. Seventeen isn't unpopular, just because they aren't you know who level doesn't mean they aren't big like do people forget what unpopular means?
Anywhoo, a day late but happy late birthday to our tiger King. May he forever rule the tiger land and take over the world with his tiger agenda lol.
yes! one side fits my aesthetic the best but all the concept photos were nice ^^
and yeah it is annoying but at the same time those people are so detached from reality that I'm just sort of like whatever djflgj like 'it's obvious to anyone who knows what they're talking about you're wrong so I'm not going to bother arguing w you' is sort of my mindset when i see those comments dhfkj bc if i don't think of it that way then i get angry easily. the way i see it bh/hybe definitely is helping SVT with western promotions but like. i don't think SVT/pledis would have been incapable of expanding into the western market on their own if they wanted to. but it's a given that it will be easier and faster with hybe bc they have connections and a reputation in the western market already established. honestly I'd guess that was one of pledis's main incentives for agreeing to the acquisition. but at the same time hybe and western media wouldn't give SVT the time of day if they truly were the flops some ppl try to claim they are lol
and yeah agreed, streaming culture can be super unhealthy. it's one thing to do it if you want to but at the same time don't be losing sleep over it or prioritizing it over your real life responsibilities. and definitely don't guilt trip and say a bunch of toxic things to others to get them to stream... i feel like it would be a lot healthier if fanbases just stuck to simply explaining, hey this is what streaming is and why it can be important (for like music shows etc) and here's how to do it properly if you choose to stream, and then just let people decide for themselves. there would still be people more than willing to do it, and without the guilt tripping maybe even more people would just find it enjoyable. but hey, what do i know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i also think most kpop stans underestimate how many views from from casual listeners and fans vs hardcore fans/streamers. like streaming does make a difference, but not 100M views difference like some people try to act like it does. tbh there are a lot of groups that have a smaller core fanbase than SVT but get hundreds of millions of views bc they have a lot of casual listeners. you can even see it internally too: don't wanna cry is SVTs most viewed MV by a mile, it's the only one to pass 100M views, let alone 200M. and it has nothing to do w carats streaming dwc extra hard, it's bc it's arguably SVTs most well known song outside of the fandom. i see reactors all the time who react to it and say "oh i know this song! i had no idea it was by seventeen" and you can look at the comments section and see a bunch of people saying the song has a fandom of its own/even if you're not a carat you have to know this song
kpop stans also put too much emphasis on views imo and also equate views to popularity, which on the surface might make sense but isn't always the case. actually in terms of profit, groups/companies make the vast majority of their money off of album, merch, and ticket sales than they do off of views. but those are all things that are a lot harder to "sell" than views, because they actually cost money for the consumer, while you can watch an MV for free. hence why it makes sense that there are a lot of groups with hundreds of millions of views that get relatively low album sales. it's easy to convince casual fans and and listeners to watch an MV than to get them to buy something
and I'm not trying to diss other groups at all or try to say groups that consistently get 200M+ views are flops, they're absolutely not. I'm just trying to point out that kpop stans completely underestimate the amount of casual listeners that exist
but this is why SVT is honestly such a fascinating case. their MV views are nothing to write home about, and yet they're the second highest selling k-act at the moment and are in the top 10 if not top 5 highest selling k-acts of all time, their album sales are literally insane. a lot of people chalk it up to carats being bad streamers but like i said before, streaming isn't going to make a difference of hundreds of millions of views. this indicates to me that seventeen have a bigger core fanbase (ie people who call themselves carats and actually keep track of seventeens activities) but a smaller audience of casual listeners compare to other kpop groups. and i think a lot of people, carats, and non carats alike, pick up on this in some way or another but don't realize that's what's going on and it manifests in kind of weird ways sometimes
and this fact isn't something that bothers me, i actually think it's super important more than anything for SVT to have a strong core fanbase if what they're shooting for is longevity. but i do find it strange bc as i said, groups that do better with digitals than physical sales make total sense from a consumer standpoint!! so how did SVT end up like this!! it's so interesting for me to think about. i think i would have a better idea of why this is if i had been around since debut but alas
the only thing i can come up with is that SVT is better at retaining fans or like... getting fans invested in the group so people who become carats are less likely to be multistans? bc multistans play a huge part in both being and attracting casual listeners. they're the ones making video compilations and edits and content that includes multiple kpop groups, which is how a lot of non-fans get interested in other groups. whereas if someone is just a carat and making content for SVT the people most likely to watch that content is ppl who are already carats. i know im not the only one that's noticed it's kind of rare for SVT to be included in multistan edits and videos. which i don't blame anyone for, i think most of those people genuinely just don't stan SVT and they shouldn't be expected to include a group they don't know we'll or at all. at the end of the day ppl can make what they like. but it's interesting to observe as a general trend. but idk SVT potentially having a lower percentage of multistans still isn't really an explanation for why SVT doesn't have as many casual listeners bc those things kind of just go hand in hand. like either one could be the cause of the other one if that makes sense
ANYWAY sorry for the long reply but as i said the ratio of SVTs core fanbase vs casual listeners is a topic i find endlessly fascinating dhfmfj
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jimlingss · 5 years
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I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭
if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง
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I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....
[SPOILER ALERT] 
*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*
Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.
Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....
I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.
Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!
Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg
kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜
ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA 
Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened
:O :O
Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*
pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O
Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?
hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))
Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing
Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it
Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem
THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!
Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!
a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.
Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon
hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol
Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.
oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it! 
Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.
I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!
Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)
haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right?  :D 
Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?
oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.
tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS
Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.
((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))
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swearronchanel · 7 years
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6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me
I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts  
¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME
BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..
MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST
TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST
SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG
IM SCREAMING
aw baby! & hey val
Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??
MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY
SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH
Sister MJ I love u 😭😂
Family planning clinic!
YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!
YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP
aww poor Barbara
“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW
It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭
SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?
All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..
BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW
AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕
MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔
“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me
I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*
my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?
lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.
Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!
Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭
“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY
“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS
"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY
OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖
PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕
THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭
“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!
“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown
Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?
The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕
Lol poor Fred tries his best !
Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife
SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>
OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY
“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS
but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)
this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme
Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later
LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION
it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.
Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally
poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂
Her face while on the bed😂 I feel
LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA
BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??
Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting
She doesn’t want him there .. for now?
“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals
“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST
I CAN NOT DEAL
Phyllis exercising 😭😂
“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART
PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??
why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?
HERES COME MORE TEARS
THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON
Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?
There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?
OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA
new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in 
that sports car aye
My bby looking good 😍😍
she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭
You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough
Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic
Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably
Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha
Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable
TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA
OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART
I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!
PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS
“.. she’ll have me to reckon with”  TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS
I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE
SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER
HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED
SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭
Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it
She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions
OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN
POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her 
Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough
I love pink waffers 😭😂
SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??
poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!
AW FRED HUG HER
and he’s fanning her omg so pure
SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY
but also she has a housecoat how cute
SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY
“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?
omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭
shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant
shelagh throwing up yikes
“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭
if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo
PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J
AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!
IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS
HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?
Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!
I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG
IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT
Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔
“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J
“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”
¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that
SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE
PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE  
I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT
“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”
MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING
IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER
Get in there Patrick!
“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢
OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING
“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT
I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES
IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !
BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼
WHAT IS HIS NAME???
THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL
“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭
I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM
WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?
HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING
BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!!  STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES  !! & no excuses it happened for downton!
NO WILMA IS DEAD NO
The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling
NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment
why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol
My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍
Aw his daughter is cute
CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍
What are knickerbocker glories?
lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)
REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE
OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC
IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO
LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD
THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT
I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET
LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭
SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?
Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS
The stain glass !! love it
PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW
WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment  but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !
HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG
damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭
“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭
THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭
THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously
“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”
VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH
Aw Angela with Tim!
My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD
“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖
I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE
lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same
PATSY!!!
SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG
GOOD FOR THEM 😭
ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!
“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”
THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS
IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??
BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT
ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS
IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME
TBH ITS PROB HELL
Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!
In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*
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celestialallstars · 5 years
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Episode #6: “Can i PLEASE get a blindside.” - Jared
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ok so basically the game has been sooo quiet and ive like.  felt dead. idk. i had a breakdown last night bc of it and i cried on my couch (KNOW THERE WAS A LOT MORE THAN THIS LKSDJGKLDSGLS I WOULDNT CRY PURELY BC OF THAT) but yaaa and now im better but like the entire day i was throwing up in class (or like feeling anxious im exaggerating sorry) about going home.
i didnt want mo out but with that being said i didnt want anyone out?? after i mentioned to him that stephen/mo were targeting each other, rhys came to me with the idea that like him jared chloe and i should make a chat, and i was down for that bc it would secure my positioning and like ALSGKSDG who'd flip on an alliance THIS early.. right?? right..
chloe was really not talkative with me. stephen/jared were active so i appreciate that immensely. im just thrown off. i dont really know who i can or cant trust.
OK ALSO SIDE NOTE CHRIS SENT ME [IM NOT EXAGGERATING] 55+ MSGS SPILLING TEA ABOUT HOW THE TUATHA HAD AN OG ALLIANCE WITH EVERYONE BUT MITCH + MAYNOR - which i knew about but LASKGLDKS AHHHH. and he leaked that stephen wanted kori/bryce targeted and i leaked that to bryce to further stephens target. IM JUST SO MESSY LOL
also i kind of predicted a swap likeee omfg. and i dont know how i feel. i kind of felt safe on my tribe??? but like.. oh no. anyway, my tribe isnt super dominant in challenges or anything (compared 2 the other tribe who has bryce/stephen/drew), but i think we can win a lipsync since we have a woman, gay men, and a metrosexual male who has an outgoing personality (and i mean that in the nicest way obviously). IDK I HOPE WE WIN BC THAT TRIBAL WAS HORRIFIC AND I LOVE MO SO MUCH AND AHH.
ill probs give a video soon in more depth with what chris said. yalls deserve it.. oops period.
I HOPE YALL CAN FORGIVE ME. im eating hotdog. bye bye love u all.
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Wow I like the whole tribe! Alyssa is probably my front runner of talking and honestly she's great! I am in her spell ahhhh but hey JARED is here too woo! I think at least with Mitch and Zach too I'll be safe but I'll see! This challenge could either go really well or really badly for us but I'm excited to do anything creativity!!
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I absolutly love my tribe at the moment, i'm getting along well with alot of them except Kori who i haven't spoken to much at all but im confident in our abilities to win! Jared is talking a little bit about wanting the game to pick up a little bit and i agree to some extent however blindsiding someone just for the sake of a blindside isn't smart gameplay so im just gonna lay low nd continue making those strong bonds here there and everywhere to hopfully come out on top should we end up at tribal
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Can i PLEASE get a blindside
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hi it's 6 am but rhys fucking filmed vertically so if we lose he automatically has my vote
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I feel good but also scared. I dont think I'll do as good of a job as I hope, but it also is turning out decently so far. My biggest concern is time. With having work tomorrow, I can only do the editing on my lunch break of 90 minutes, then whenever i get home which probably wont be until 6, given the upload time that leaves me with about 3 hours in total. Hopefully I'll be able to work with Rhys and Jack's stuff, as i think it'll be easier for me to do it then. Regardless, I'm gonna be a zombie but LOL this is the second Wednesday in a row I stayed up late except this is not for school and instead of 3 hours, ima get 2 hours of sleep haha that is so sad and funny and heebee jeebee zoinks, alright goodnight
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Two things: 1) there's really nothing quite like making a fool of yourself multiple times in a single org, just to be immune for one round. 2) i am horrible at looking for idols
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So Matt just told me he thinks we’re gonna have a double tribal right before merge which is like ew I hate that throw it out please, speaking of throwing out uh Kori can go because he’s wearing on my nerves like yes we’re gonna get things done on time calm down please and thanks.
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these people are actually delulu if they think that video is winning. no fucking way we are winning. time to go to tribal!
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So the swap has happened, and I get what is almost probably my worst case scenario player-wise. All of my close allies, with the exception of Kori, are currently on Cyrena. Meaning that winning immunity isn't even really good, since it puts them in danger.
I think there's a way to make this bad situation good though. Getting to finally work with Michael, Matt, Loris, and Drew can actually be a blessing in disguise. If I get on their good sides now, they might clue me into their plans once merge rolls around. That's the hope, anyway. For now my goal is just to survive being swapped with a bunch of people I've barely spoke to!
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The past 24 hours have been major toughie for me. Staying up late and then trying to manage editing a video, work, and time constraints, and I won't lie, its been exhausting, but I didn't want to let my tribe down, or anyone down I guess. A little ways through, I kinda felt pretty defeated and then learning at last minute it was due an hour before I predicted made me panic A LOT internally, but it does seem like the tribe likes it so if we do lose and if they do vote me out, I can look back at this and feel like I did something right.
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Well a lots happened and to be honest at times life and this game move too quick for me to even remember if I've mentioned it. We swapped, and I'm trying to just keep myself afloat however I can.
The challenge was overly stressful and I have no idea if we'll pull it out. Editing has been so stressful and I've found new appreciation for the people that do it. I just hope whatever I whip together will just be enough so that I can breathe and really take stalk of my new situation.
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So, I haven't been around a whole bunch recently. However I'm glad we didn't go to tribal, that could've been  a reason if my name came up. So I'm glad I have time to more cement my bonds on this tribe and keep my name out of peoples mouths.
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We JUST WON IMMUNITY WOOHOO. I was kind of nervous with a music challenge considering the only other one I did previously I did not do the greatest in :P. Both videos were amazing and im so glad Eve and Jones's mom liked ours significantly greater than the other one! As far as my position is concerned, I am reunited with Jared and our relationship is still strong I think so that's good. Stephen I am HOPING will be ok by just latching on to Kori at least for premerge. Those two are still the ones I trust the most, but I also like Alyssa Chris and Zach. I WISH i could connect more with jack, but i feel like every time we play together it gets more difficult to hold a conversation, so that's a yikes. Jared myself and stephen are diligently working on the idol search, but it's likely already found. I'm pretty sure there are too many components for someone to just find it by themselves
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WELL. Im a target tonight! God we really do love that for me. We really do. Kori, eat my fucking ass. You leave me on read all the time. And then you have the NERVE. THE ACTUAL NERVE. to be like "omg stop slipping in my dm's!" Boo if you didn't leave me on read constantly then maybe i would actually want to speak to you! an actual moron. And then STEPHEN HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY to me like "ya lol i'll be at tribal i'll make the decision between you and Kori at tribal!". BOI. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU GET TRUST IN SOMEONE. Its fucking ridiculous. Thank god Michael is in my corner, hopefully drew and bryce too. I am NOT getting 15th right now, no way. I am BETTER than this. i am going to make it work, tim gunn style. maybe its time to break the fajitas and channel their energy once again
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Why do I go on the initiative literally ever? I'm clearly bad at it, I wasn't even remotely thinking things through and I SHOULD have let Stephen or someone else suggest someone but no I had to be mildly greedy and wanna send home Matt whom I barely DM.
I already flopped editing the video, and now here I am flopping the social/stategy game that I love playing supposedly.
Of course I tried reaching out to Michael and Drew FOOLISHLY because I wanted to build trust and maybe work with them. So naturally Michael tells Matt because ofc they'd be close as would Drew probably since he and Michael have been together since Day 1. As it stands I'm stuck praying Loris is gonna vote with me and it just sucks because I'm so bad at this game.
I'm trying to keep a cool head right now because there's still time. Stephen and I are trying to work logistics, see if we need to switch the vote to say Michael in case of an idol, but I'm not sure Loris/Bryce would be on board for that.
There's a pretty good chance that I'm definitely dead. But I'ma fight to the bitter end!
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Today I learned from Stephen that Kori is in some dangerous water. He I guess said Matt's name to Michael who told Matt and now them and Drew are voting Kori. However Bryce and Stephen and perhaps Loris are all voting Matt. Now this is good if it works because honestly that group having to endure their numbers dwindling is good for my game. It only leaves Jack and Alyssa but I think we better be careful because I can see both of them slipping through the inevitable war zone that is gonna be happening.
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Today's been a pretty informative day for me. After losing the immunity challenge by a hair, I was worried because I didn't think I had bonded very well with my current tribe through One World, luckily for me, that doesn't seem to be their biggest concern at the moment.
During the initial stages of the vote, I talked to Kori and the two of us decided Matt would be the easiest target to take out. I was leaning towards voting Matt because we hadn't talked very much, so hearing Kori was on board right away simplified things for sure. Bryce and Loris both seem to be on board with it too so I shouldn't have anything to worry about at this point.
In the morning, things got a whole lot more complicated. Matt found out he was the target through Michael, and began his campaign to get Kori out instead of himself. I'm not entirely sure why Michael decided to do this, but it doesn't make much of a difference at this point. Matt campaigned to me, and I sorta pretended to be on the fence. I was listening to what he said, but Kori is realistically one of my closest allies, there's no way I'm voting him out to side with people I had just met.
Once campaign season got under way, I had a conversation with Chris. Chris tells me that on original Orfeo, him, Loris, and Zach believed there was an alliance of Chloe/Sharky/Drew/Michael formed. This explains not only why Sharky was seen as an easy boot on swap-Tuatha, but also why Michael wants to keep Matt instead of Kori. With Chloe re-joining after tribal, him/Drew/Chloe/Matt would form a tight majority. Without Matt, they're a minority.
I proposed an idea to switch the vote from Matt to Michael or Drew. I said it was because I was worried about an idol, but this alliance is the real reason I wanted to do it. However, Kori, Loris, and Bryce are comfortable with the status quo and since it's not my neck on the line I didn't feel the need to push too hard.
Me, Kori, and Bryce now also have an alliance with Loris, which is cool? I haven't gotten very close with Loris yet but he seems like a smart player tied to Chris and Zach which spells good things for us working together in the future. Assuming I survive this vote and have a future, of course.
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hi I think I might make it past final 15 that’s nice umm... I suggested an alliance of me Bryce Stephen Kori to counter the potential power of chloe Matt Michael and drew once chloe joins our tribe because my brain is massive. but now we’re like scared for idols . scary shih anyways like how r u I’m good.
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oh huh tribes r gonna be even again next round... so I have to make this conf by default just in case of a you know what wait no anna u said no more 24 hour challenges QUEEN ... thank god I can’t be bothered to delete this so she’s being SENT
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Right now there's so many things running through my head with the introduction of Matts vote steal, because realistically i could convince him to give to me or i could keep him around as a potential shield. I don't want to do it to the guy but also a vote steal could shift the tides of the game in my favour later down the line. so it's a difficult decision and one id rather have more time to contemplate.
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Wooo ok operation vote steal is a go and next round we’ll be swimming in green hopefully but with one world sis og tribe lines just ain’t it!
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God im over this tribal. Like ugh these people really are under Kori's mist so like im probably going home. Do I think i might be able to survive? a small glimmer of hope says yes, but i'm not confident. God im just... so annoyed at this. Im clearly on the outs here and I just HOPE i can pull through i just am so scared. I know if i do leave though that I have fought my damn hardest to stay tonight. Im trying to think of the positives because its hard to do so because im being sad atm.. UGH. the fajitas really have failed me tonight, their light has dimmed and their guidance is no more. i am now with the darkness. we r one.
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Oh my fucking god my heart is breaking. Matt is basically in such a deep hole he's going to go home, unless he plays an idol. And Alyssa has an idol. And she doesn't think it's smart to use it on him because Michael says he's just gonna go home next round. His social game hasn't been up to snuff and they're gonna boot him regardless, so she wants to keep us with power and let him go. And I agree with her. Which kills me. I'm usually able to just be a robot when it comes to this like yes I will make the smarter decision if it means I'll be emotionally torn, and this is such an instance. Luckily, it's not my idol to give up. Yes Alyssa says it's "our" idol but it's her call end of the day. I just... fuck. This is all stars man. And I'm actually starting to feel, for once.
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Well it's about an hour before tribal and at least on it's surface it would seem Matt is going. I'm not confident though because any number of things COULD happen. I'm hoping there's no idol play, just because I feel like pre-merge just isn't a good look for me.
If Matt does pull something off, then kudos to him, and if it's me that'd make this my final confessional for the season. I've had such an amazing time playing and while I feel like I've been playing a lower key game on purpose I feel like I'm doing what I can to really come into my own. I hope the bonds I've made are gonna stick and that everything works out for us.
But if it doesn't I guess I'll have to find a way to be ok with that. This has been such a unique All-Stars experience so far, and I hope I can take what I've gotten from it and make myself better for it. (Also highkey hopefully this isn't my last confessional and I'm getting sentimental for no reason.)
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Kori is voted out 4-3.
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