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dragon-heisters · 1 year

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Session 27 Feb 25 2023: Leave all your possessions and your Jodds where they are and exit in an orderly fashion

No Hazel this week as she’s in Macclesfield with her sister. (“Enjoy the sewers!” she says cheerfully in the group chat.) Suggested talking points: old people hobbies, more magic items is more betterer, when is the best time to whip out a flying monkey (when it’s least expected. Which is pretty much all the time)

Nuri signs in as Hazel as well as himself in order to give us the best possible chance at not dying, and we discuss ways to get the remaining thug captain to tell us where Jodd is. Nuri immediately suggests torture; Thessalie thinks we ought to try just asking him first and go from there.

What’s in the new spellbook? Charm Person and Suggestion are in there and would be helpful, but we can’t cast from someone else’s spellbook. It would take time we don’t have to scribe spells into our own spellbooks.

Hazel has her knots badge, so we have her tie the captain to a barrel so he can’t escape.

Pfenig has Charm Person, yay! Hazel makes a Perception check; a five. Never mind! She makes a Sleight of Hand check to tie the Captain - better, a 15.

Pfenig does a medicine check (holds a special mushroom to his nose) to wake him up, and rolls a 9. He’s still unconscious. Can Thessalie kick him…? She splashes water from her waterskin on his face, natty 20s the medicine check.

"So, so glad I've wasted a natural 20 on that."

He looks furious, but we have his attention. Nuri begins the questioning.

“Now. About our Jodd.”

“What do you want?”

“… Well, we did already say.”

He is disinclined to give us our Jodd back, it’s more than his life’s worth. Pfenig: “ That’s literally not true.”

He has orders to leave here with either Jodd or the Stone, and he flatly refuses to budge. Nuri makes a suggestion. We could help him escape the city without having to face his boss? He makes a Persuasion check; 17.

If he tells us where he is, we let him go - we walk him back to the entrance of the sewer and he’ll tell us where Jodd is. Pfenig would like to change the order of these things, otherwise he’s fine with it. Counteroffer - he walks us to Jodd and then we escort him out.

He’ll walk us to the door where Jodd is, and then we escort him out?

Who is with Jodd, Nuri asks? Pfenig notices that this question makes the Captain sweat.

Someone more frightening than us, he says, but refuses to say more. He’ll draw us a map, final offer. Can we really trust him, Pfenig wants to know? Insight - 12. He thinks he is desperately trying to think of ways to escape his situation, and can likely be trusted at least in this.

Hazel unties one of his arms and lets him draw. He stops after drawing the first section and points to the wall where his dead colleagues are stacked. As a show of faith, he says there is a secret door over there. Nuri goes over to check, and there is indeed a secret door! It’s locked, but it doesn’t look complicated. He’ll even give us his keys if we untie him a bit more; Hazel snorts and goes over to pick the lock.

There is another door beyond that one; she opens that as well.

What’s his name, Pfenig asks the Captain? Has he ever done any bar work?

Jeff, and yes, but mostly robbing them.

He finishes the map, and asks to be untied. We are still uncertain, so Nuri suggests going to check that Jodd is where he says he is and leaving Pazuzu here to keep an eye on our captive. He can have Pazuzu untie him once we’ve confirmed that Jodd is there.

Pfenig makes a grab for the map - several dice rolls later he gets it. The Captain calls Pfenig a scummy bastard.

Looking at the map, it shows a second secret door. On the other side is the sewage pipe where we were when the Pudding attacked, with the corpse. There’s a secret door there with another secret room, in which Jeff has written “Jodd”.

Is there any way we can take a liiiiiiiiiiittle short rest? We do that, and then get barging in to save our Jodd. Stealthily. Sort of. We don’t roll great.

We go through the door indicated on the map, some of us more quietly than others. There is a set of stairs leading down, and another door at the bottom. Hazel and Pfenig make Perception checks - it seems that Joe has wedged some gum under the “Sabotage Player” button and stuck it down, so Hazel rolls bad and doesn’t notice anything. Pfenig notices the sound of snoring and a smell, even funnier than what he exudes - he knows the fetid stink of gobbos anywhere.

Stealth again - Thessalie rolls a nat 1 and Aurix a nat 20; he shakes his head at her.

Hazel unlocks the door - click! - and opens it just a crack. She sees hammocks hanging from a large pillar. Two have goblins snoozing in them, and two more contain Gazers. Hazel casts Message to tell us all what she sees. There is no sign of Jodd, however.

We could pretend it’s a fire drill. No - leave all your possessions and your Jodds where they are and exit in an orderly fashion…

Let’s have Hazel sneak in and take out a Gazer, and we can all pile in afterwards and take something else out - quietly. Tackle the Gazers first. Pfenig isn’t sure about attacking sleeping creatures, but they are definitely associates of whoever snuck into our tavern and stole our Jodd, so…

We pile in, quietly, and take a surprise round. Hazel goes first, running one of the Gazers through with her rapier. 24 hits, and she’s an assassin so that’s an auto-crit. Pierced hand - double damage! How de do dis! She stabs it through the primary eye and it deflates like a ruptured whoopee cushion. "Silently."

Pfenig is next, and Shilslfghdfhjdhljh’s a gobbo. He doesn’t kill it, so morally he’s in the clear. Aurix tries a sting against the Gazer but misses, so Thessalie Magic Missile’s it. It doesn’t die but it’s a good solid hit. Nuri quietly Mind Sliver’s the Gazer. It makes the save…

We roll initiative. Pfenig is up first. He thinks for a minute before deciding, “I’m gonna hit him again.” He nat 20s and kills the goblin! Gut Punch - double damage. How de do dis! “I do dis!”

Thessalie Fire Bolts the gazer, getting the how de do dis. “He sets his bed on fire and they burn together.”

Nuri: “Just like in the great plays.” He has another go at quietly ‘influencing the mind’ of the goblin. It fails this time and takes 6 psychic damage; some blood trickles from his nose but he’s still up. Hazel goes up to the goblin and stabs it. Another auto-crit and another how de do dis! “With aggressive quietness.” She covers its mouth with one hand and pushes the rapier through the bottom of the hammock with the other.

And to show how much we’ve grown, we won’t even loot the bodies!

We make Perception checks; all of us hear from the next door, much merrymaking. Lots of gobbos, all clearly having a whale of a time. Nuri checks on Pazuzu quickly; he’s grinning an unnerving simian grin at the Captain. “Ook.”

Onwards then, let’s murder some more gobbos. This door isn’t locked, just as well because Hazel didn’t roll great on her Thieves’ Tools. Inside is a sort of dive bar meets gambling den, populated by gobbos. There are scorch marks all over the walls floor and ceiling, and at one of the tables she spots this little guy:

A goblin pyromancer! We all love him immediately, and Pfenig wants to employ him as a fry cook once we kill all his friends. Maybe.

Shall we all just barrel in and start swinging? Diplomacy, as evidenced most recently by our encounter with Jeff, is not our strong suit. Go in swinging it is!

The non-pyromancer gobbos all look frightened as we enter, but they start attacking anyway. We only understand two words: “cunt” and “burn”, mixed in with a stream of goblin from the pyromancer as it casts Fireball, burning all of us including his mates. Oh and as well, anyone who is resistant to fire, is not resistant to this as it is a Fire Adept. Fuck!

Hazel and Aurix go down, Thessalie is down to 2hp, and Pfenig is down to his last temporary hit point. Poor baby. It did take out several of the non-pyromancer gobbos, however. Adding insult to injury, it hides.

(Pazuzu passes on to Nuri that when the fireball reverberated through the sewers, he saw Jeff’s eyes go wide. “Shit.”) Nuri does Scorching Ray on the pyromancer, who he managed to find, and it turns out that Nuri is also a Fire Adept, overcoming any fire resistance the gobbo has. He does 18 Fire damage and a crit: Resistance is futile. Max damage, and if the target is resistant to this damage type, it loses that resistance for 1 minute.

A gobbo fires a bow at Pfenig, hitting for 8 damage. “Oh no, all my temporary hit points are gone.”

Pfenig’s turn. He casts Ice Knife at third level at the pyromancer. DM: “He’s not going to want to work in your bar if you throw ice knives at him.”

“He doesn’t really seem like a team player, to be honest.”

He hits for for 4 piercing and 8 cold damage, and the shard of ice explodes doing damage to the gobbos next to it as well! It kills the other gobbo -

“He’s all cold and shivering and he shivers himself to bits!”

And on the Pyromancer as well - “Chill out!” Pfenig runs to Hazel, but has nothing he can do to revive her as a bonus action. He can do a medicine check, the DM says. He stabilises her!

Thessalie makes a Perception check, spots the last goblin and points it out, and chugs a potion. Nuri Fire Bolts the last gobbo and kills it. How de do dis! “… With fire.”

He checks in on Pazuzu and gives him a message to give to Jeff; “Oook,” Pazuzu dutifully passes on.

Pfenig casts Cure Wounds on Hazel while Nuri and Thessalie loot the bodies.

Pfenig finds a ring of keys on the Pyromancer, with three keys. Two are accounted for as Hazel has already picked them. Pfenig and Thessalie check for secret doors. Thessalie checks the floor with a 25; she is confident there is nothing hidden in the flagstones.

Pfenig rolls a 9; he cannot see any secret doors. Hazel gently pushes him to one side and runs her hands over the wall; nat 20! She cannot see any secret doors in this room. She pops back into the hammock room and checks the wall in there; another nat 20! “There it is.”

She gives it a bloody good unlocking. Well, she picks it before Nuri can arrive with the keys. Well, she breathes on it and it falls open, apologising to her as it does so.

Behind it is a storage closet containing one Jodd! He has found a fancy blanket, which he eagerly shows to Hazel. It’s got a high thread count; she’s impressed. Jodd gives it to her. Nuri and Thessalie can both cast Identify as a ritual; Thessalie stands aside and lets Nuri do it.

Jodd was in the kitchen, he says, and someone he hadn’t seen before tapped on the window. They told him there was a carrot convention down the road; he popped out to have a look, and they bashed him on the head and he woke up here.

Nuri discovers that the blanket is magical:

Almost as good as a Pocket Spa! Nuri has Pazuzu untie Jeff. It takes him a little while.

We’ve got time to sort the Obliteros situation if we want? Nuri wants to go and see Magister Barch to convince her to sanction throwing criminals into the bay for Obliteros.

“Now, don’t say no straight away. I give you: Death by Obliteros.”

(Pfenig makes suitably appropriate oooh-ing noises.)

Magister Barch wants to know what he has promised this shark.

Nuri: “Well, we said - ”

Thessalie: “Nononononononono, you said.”

Nuri explains the details of the bargain, and makes his case. You’ll never get rid of the gangs entirely, but if they’re not openly warring in the streets that’s surely for the best?

Have we really explored all the other options, Pfenig wonders? What about killing Obliteros? We did try that, and we couldn’t do it. What about asking the bronze dragon to help us…?

Magister Barch gives Nuri credit for imagination, but she can’t see the other magisters agreeing to this. But, she says, there are numerous entrances from the sewers to the harbour. Perhaps we could convince Obliteros to take up residence in the deep sewers? That would have the same effect, but it would mean the magisters wouldn’t have to codify ‘death by shark’ into law.

The magisters are happy for the bronze dragon to stay, but they don’t like the shark being there. If we can find a way to move it on…? We should give Obliteros a formal warning, written on official stationery, sealed and everything, that if she doesn’t stop eating people then the city will be forced to do something about it.

We go and talk to the dragon first, since Obliteros said that the next time she sees us she will, quote, 'eat us, sick us up and eat us again'.

We Persuade Grinda, the owner of the Apparatus, to cast Water Breathing on us, and off we go into the harbour to find Zelifarn.

He shoots up to us, all smiles. “Greetings! What brings you here?”

Nuri explains the sitch. Obliteros was perturbed by Zelifarn’s reluctance to allow her to eat sailors; we’ve been talking to a Magister of the city, who has suggested that we encourage Obliteros to go into the deep sewers and eat criminals. Is that cool with you? If it’s not, would you help us destroy Obliteros?

Zelifarn recognises Obliteros’ right to exist, even if she’s evil. She kills things for fun. If she agrees to move to the sewers Zelifarn is ok with that but if she returns, he will help us kill her.

We’re still looking for the doohickey under the boat, we tell him, we’ll get back to him on that. He’s asked some merfolk to look and they did, but they won’t tell him what it is so his offer to us still stands.

We move to the other bit of the harbour and Obliteros arrives. We’d better have good news or she’ll eat us! Well, Nuri says, we have good news. Great news, really, but it does involve a little bit of relocation. We’ve spoken to the lawmakers, and the dragon, and they both agree that if you would be happy to swim into the deep sewers and consume the gang members in there, then everyone is happy. They will all want to kill you if you keep eating fishermen though, so there’s that.

He makes his Persuasion check at Advantage - 16. The terms are agreeable, but can Obliteros eat one of us for the road? Just one? There are four of us…? A little snackette.

We’re not delicious, Pfenig says, and expresses some spores to back up his argument. How about the pointy one then?

"No, no," says Thessalie hastily. "I'm tough, I've been told. Old boots."

Obliteros will check out the sewers, and if the pickings are as good as we say, she’ll consider staying. She asks us to extend an invitation to Grinda to visit her for tea. We’ll pass that on…

She extends the invitation to us as well; Nuri hopes that she can’t smell the urine that is suddenly emanating from him.

Next week we will do the Seamaiden’s Faire and faction quests, and some downtime. Yeah! We return the Apparatus and extend Obliteros’ invitation to Grinda. Last thing - we all have to make CON saves. Thessalie and Nuri fail dismally, and make no progress toward immunity from general sewer-yuck. Great.

#dnd #dragon heist #dragon heist spoilers

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thetradeway · 2 years

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Session 15: 30 Jul 2022

No Giles again; we soldier on without him while sending ‘thumbs down’ gifs on the group chat.

We open the last door before the stairs - there is a library with a lectern in front of the fire, with a schmancy looking book sitting locked on it. All the shelves are packed with books, and there are rolling ladders all over the place. Pfenig wants to know if there are any books of an erotic nature; to bring back for Giles, naturally.

Hazel tries to pick the lock on the book - she successfully does so. Around her three things materialise - we roll Initiative! Luckily Hazel rolls a nat 20 - she might need it.

These things are Specters, Nuri knows with a good Arcana check. They can reduce our max HP if we don’t make a good CON save… This could be interesting! Good thing we’ve got a cleric!

Vervain uses Twilight Sanctuary to give everyone some measure of protection, and some temp HP. Nuri busts out a new trick - Green-Flame Blade. The spectres halve the fire damage, unfortunately. They do not halve the radiant damage from Vervain’s cantrip, but two of them make the save. Dammit. Pfenig tries necrotic damage, which they ignore. Well, balls. He does Shilldfkgjhsdghjhh.

Pfenig gets the last one; how-de-do-dis? “I whisk it like an egg.”

Well that’s that then.

The book describes family events of the noble family throughout history. Births, deaths, social events. Nuri thinks it’s boring, so Pfenig and Hazel take a look - they find some more interesting details.

This family have done deals with devils; there is tiefling blood in this family. Pfenig says that others might find this salacious, but he thinks it’s regular. He swishes his tail. Perhaps there’s blackmail involved here? Nuri takes the book into his Lamp of Holding, and leaves it there. We might find a way to use it.

There’s another door by the stairs, but Hazel is convinced there must be a secret switch in one of the books on the shelves; she goes around pulling at books and candlesticks, but nothing happens. We go to the last door, after some Healer’s Kit uses.

We open the last door, to see a portrait of the man of the house. This appears to be his office. There is a wresting mat, and some slightly homoerotic statues. Many of the ‘books’ are not books at all, but are boxes painted to look like books, with smutty artwork hidden inside. Hazel takes one for Giles.

We take a short tea making break.

Heading for the stairs we hear the clanging of metal on metal. Pfenig and Vervain, as the least squishy members, go first. There is a pile of bodies at the top, in a spreading pool of blood.

Behind the door at the top we can hear a woman screaming, and someone trying to boot it down. Nuri: “I smell crime.”

Around the corner are a group of Zhents fighting the house guard. Vervain sneaks up and whacks a Zhent in the back of the head. Initiative time!

Hazel begins with assassinating one - she can do that now. She kills him outright. (Vervain makes a note to be very nice to her.)

The fight continues between the Zhents and the guard for a while before the order comes back to us. Vervain sees a Zhent bash a guard in the head; he drops. Vervain looks to see if he might be saveable, but the DM mentions the phrase ‘bag of gravel’ when describing the state of the man’s head. Probably kinder to let that one go.

“With an ululating cry,” Pfenig leaps and swings with his Shillskghsglsd;fjgh. He can still use his necrotic thing, which is still up from the previous fight.

Nuri thinks; “No, that’s overkill…” He decides on Firebolt instead. “Make a wish, punk!”

Vervain heals one of the guard, and asks where the rest of the fighting is - the guards point us toward the door to the south, behind which we hear kicking. It’s an en suite. There is a man in there, wearing Zhent armour but fancy. This looks very much like the man who limped away from Trollskull Alley…

It’s Urstal Floxin.

There is a cage on a stand in here with him - he dashes to it and throws it open. Pfenig, hopefully: “Perhaps nothing will happen and it will be great.”

But, no, three flying snakes emerge. One drops dead from disgust at Pfenig’s Symbiotic Entity spores.

Vervain hits with Guiding Bolt, so Pfenig uses the Advantage to go for Floxin’s teeth; he hits, and does some necrotic damage as well.

We realise (not belatedly, for once) that we want this guy alive. Pfenig withdraws his staff from Floxin’s mouth. “Submit?” It is immediately clear that he will not.

On the floor is some sort of magic circle. Ah, fuck. Pfenig makes an Arcana check but fails it.

Nuri decides to give something a go. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you… Urstal Floxin… Covered in Bees!” He casts Infestation from a scroll. Floxin makes the save, sadly. Worth a shot.

Hazel hides and shoots, “non-lethally”. Urstal puts his head down and tries to barrel past Nuri, forcing a contested STR check - Nuri stops him, and Pfenig gets an Attack of Opportunity.

Vervain misses with their flail. And Spiritual Weapon. Oh dear.

Hazel brings him down with an arrow. The woman of the house screams at us to get out; the Watch are on their way.

So what do we do with him? Tie him to a chair, slap him about a bit, question him. We still need to find the mechanical man; Floxin was kicking a door in that bathroom, we go in and have a peek. Hazel throws Pfenig the keys.

He knocks on the door. We have subdued the criminal. The door emerges; it is the man of the house. Pfenig gives him a little curtsy, and explains that we’re the heroes. We were in the neighbourhood, being heroic, so we thought we’d drop by. You’re welcome? We’ll be leaving soon with the prisoner.

Does he know what Urstal was doing here? The man insists he’s never seen him before, but a quick nat 20 Insight from Hazel reveals that to be bullshit.

We ask about the nimblewright. The man asks if his wife is around; we point him toward the screaming. He hurries us into the bathroom, saying it wouldn’t be good if his wife overheard us. Nuri drags Urstal in behind us.

We’re here about the stone of Golor, yes? What is it we want to know?

Well, where is it? That, and the nimblewright.

He says he doesn’t know. His wife’s mechanical servant was here, but it’s gone. Nuri shows him the doohickey. The man says the nimblewright has fled, did so when the Zhents broke in. Pfenig opens up the nimblewright and pulls the trigger; nothing happens.

Well shit.

Where’s it gone? The man isn’t sure. Oh, this is all too much!

The gnome that got exploded was bringing the stone to us, having heard how we rescued Renaer. Does Floxin have it?

The stone is some sort creature that’s been turned to stone. It knows the location of half a million Dragons, somewhere in Waterdeep. Everyone is seeking this thing.

He’s been bankrolling the Zhents and their little search for the stone - including the plot to kidnap Renaer. THey’ve been harbouring Floxin here, he was supposed to be locating the stone. The wife gave the nimblewright a Necklace of Fireballs, and told it to go and help Floxin hunt the gnome.

Why was Floxin attacking the family? Well the first plan was to kidnap Renaer. Then they heard the gnome had it. The wife interfered, so Urstal attacked the family in revenge.

So Nim’s creation likely wasn’t the one who threw the Fireball. The wife saw the mechanical man on the roof, and befriended it; it thinks it’s her friend, and she thinks it’s her servant. So maybe it was, then.

The wife starts screaming again. Nuri: “Madam, you are hysterical, take a seat!”

So the stone and the nimblewright are both still missing…

We’ve searched Floxin and he doesn’t seem to have the stone. He has some gold, a healing potion, and his sword (with poison residue, but not actual poison). We remove those from his person.

Hazel feels a hand on her back and she is shoved out of the way - the screaming woman is staring down her nose at her.

She tells us again to get out of her house, and is very rude about it. Pfenig waves his tail and sticks out his tongue. We leave and take our prisoner with us, and warn her not to tell anyone we were here. Nuri scorches her bedsheets as we leave.

As we leave - oh shit the magma mephit! We see the sun isn’t far off coming up. THere are three shades flitting around in the courtyard, and traces of magma all over the ground. The groundskeeper and his dogs are running around being chased by them. Whoops…

We take Floxin back to Trollskull Alley to tortur- uhhhhh, question him. Vervain has Zone of Truth, but not prepared. They can question him tomorrow, or we can do it the old fashioned way? Nuri has an idea - Skeemo might have some bits and bobs, Nuri can get some cash together and buy the ingredients and a recipe for a truth serum. That might take a few days, though… Pfenig could try Charm Person?

Hmm…

Should we just hand him to the Watch? That sounds like the best option, it feels like he’ll die before he tells us anything. We hand him over.

In the following days, the newspaper is full of stories about the incident at the manor. Several people - including some we recognise from the Portal - are arrested. Hazel is advised to lay low.

A flying snake arrives at the tavern with a note attached. If we can spare the time meet the writer at the city of the dead. We will be aid handsomely for our time. This person is a Zhent but we don’t know which kind. The flying snake suggests bad, but we know the writer is a Doom Raider.

We go to the statue. At the foot is a female dwarf with armour. Hazel makes an Insight check and fails. Nuri and Vervain can tell she’s come alone.

She assures us that the Doom Raiders are not involved with the villa incident. All the Zhents are being investigated; she needs to lay low. She will give us money just to meet her, and she will pay us more if we will let her stay at Trollskull Alley for a ten-day. and she will work for free.

We agree to let her stay. She has no people skills and is quite difficult to get on with. But we get 50pp out of it.

At the end of the ten-day she shakes us by the hand, and leaves. As she does, a female wizard arrives, and thrusts a note at Nuri. It has been sealed, but very obviously opened. Nuri looks at it. "You've read this?" he asks the wizard.

"Yes, it concerns me, of course I've read it." Oh, ok.

The party agree to let Thessalie join them for a while. There are no rooms left at Trollskull Alley so she will stay at the Yawning Portal, and has agreed to help with the cooking at Trollskull in the evenings.

With that all done, we call it a night.

#dnd #dragon heist #dragon heist spoilers

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jblockman1 · 11 months

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So my good friend @thebestbeearts just finished running our group through Descent into Avernus, and for the whole time there was this post that she did that we kept reblogging every week when we had a session.

Now, I'll be the one running our group through Waterdeep Dragon heist, and she has asked me to continue the tradition...with my own post:

LIKE TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD

REBLOG TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD

(don't touch the goldfish)

#waterdeep dragon heist #waterdeep dragon heist spoilers #dungeons and dragons #d&d

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rukafais · 1 year

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The aft section of the hold of the Eyecatcher is guarded by four giant spiders painted in bright colors. These arachnids have been trained by Jarlaxle since they were hatchlings, and they can pass themselves off as inanimate float decorations by remaining perfectly still until they attack.

obsessed with this tiny throwaway detail in this waterdeep dragon heist description tbh. the implications that he hand-raised them from hatchlings bc he’d have to be around them a lot to train them properly.............

#jarlaxle baenre #waterdeep dragon heist #spoilers #wddh spoilers #spiders #arachnid #rukart

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greyias · 6 months

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I'm sorry Gale, but I think Ari might have just found her soulmate in this red dragonborn music shopkeep:

For the first time in the entire game, she is allowed to geek out over music for literal hours (it's fine, it's fine, it's not like we were in the midst of trying to rescue a beloved companion who'd been kidnapped by a murderous cult).

I'm pretty sure Astarion is ready to start chewing on the expensive and rare instruments by the time hours later the two melophiles stop jabbering about the intricacies of worg hair and its vibrational qualities. On the plus side, now that Ari and Thomas C Quirkilious are basically besties for life, he gave her the friends and family discount on the Faerun equivalent of Stradivarius he has behind the counter:

What do you think? Does she need the canonical MUSICAL BANK HEIST fiddle?:

#grey's bg3 tag #bg3 posting #bg3 spoilers #look #we've got to finish rescuing lae'zel first #but i feel like i need to come back for the musical bank heist fiddle #for doing the jaheira/minsc quest #i was trying to remember where the other entrances to the sewer were #and then got completely distracted by the music shop #like seriously though thomas the dragon loves her #his attitude went to *60* because they geeked out together #he's practically giving away the instruments to her #oc: aravyn #ari's og campaign

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shotimus · 9 months

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Oh my god I should not be laughing as hard as I am at this.

So I started playing Baldur's Gate 3 playing my character from the Dragon Heist campaign I played in. I missed my half-elf cleric Julian Rolim Flavius Glynmenor that I had to bring him back for another round, especially knowing that Volo was in this game.

A little backstory from the Dragon Heist campaign. Julian hated Volo that entire campaign and actually tried to get him banned in Waterdeep. Why?

Because Volo promised the party money, but Volo didn't actually have the money so instead they got the deed to Trollskull Manor. Julian has been angry about this the entire campaign because he was in need of money (tldr his money was stolen before the campaign started) and had since declared Volo to be a scammer. By the end of the campaign when he became wealthy again, Volo dared to ask Julian for funding for his next book to which Julian swiftly stated, "Fuck no."

So here we are in Baldur's Gate 3, and Volo gets captured by the goblin army. Through a series of coincidences I ended up saving Volo, and I screamed laughing when I was given this dialogue option for Julian.

Julian wants his money, Volo, including backpay. You'd better pay up!

#baldur's gate 3 #dungeons and dragons #d&d #dragon heist #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #volo #julian's hatred for volo only grows further #and i'm loving it

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courtjester69420 · 10 months

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We rescued Vincent!!!!!!!! He has suffered through horrific torture and almost certainly will not speak a word of it until the day he idk melts into ichor sludge or whatever. This was deeply expected

We immediately lost Vincent again!!!!!!!!! We went into the next level and there’s teleportation traps everywhere this is relatively fine

HE FUCKING ROLLED THE WORST RESULT AND LANDED IN LAVA!!!!!

Will anything ever go even a little okay in Vincent Trench’s life? Signs point to no.

#believe in you campaign #dungeon of the mad mage #waterdeep dragon heist #waterdeep dragon heist spoilers

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0w0whatisthis · 9 months

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can we PLEASE get this guy a warm drink and a good night's sleep!!! again i have to emphasis that if we rescued vincent after two and a half years only for him to die IMMEDIATELY ill be so so so so sad QAQ

#vincent trench #believe in you campaign #waterdeep dragon heist spoilers #PLEASE. PLEASE ESPEA. ESPEA FOR ME UR GOOD FRIEND MAGNUS' MENTAL HEALTH

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its-queenofthesilence · 8 months

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Curious to know if the events of BG3 and Waterdeep could be connected

So I am aware Wizards of the Coast is not the best at keeping with canon, but I'd like to point out an interesting fact that Baldur's Gate 3 and Waterdeep: Dragonheist happen at the same time. And if you are familiar with Waterdeep, spoilers but that also deals with a mind flayer causing issues in a major city.

It begs the question, are the two events related somehow or just coincidence? Because we know the computer games aren't entirely separate from the modules given that Descent into Avernus is connected to BG3. It's just an interesting thing to note.

Is Nihloor unrelated to the invasion of Baldur's Gate? Or is he somehow involved? Probably not related but who knows?

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #waterdeep dragon heist #waterdeep #related somehow #dungeons and dragons #5e #Nihiloor #mind flayer #invasion

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tiny-huts · 1 year

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I think the best thing about waterdeep dragon heist is that there are guns in the campaign but only a highly specific group of people have them and nobody else so we had no idea that there even were guns in that campaign until we got one pulled on us and the only thing I could think about was this scene despite the fact that like half of the party was unconscious from fucking being shot with a gun

#waterdeep: dragon heist #waterdeep dragon heist spoilers #dnd #rip solunn we did kill him #it is canon that Jarlaxle rezzed him later tho in our campaign #we did keep his gun tho #and we only use it to intimidate people #and nobody has ever got proficiency in it #guns in a fantasy setting that i didnt know had guns until NOW is the funniest thing ever #this was a while ago but i rewatched this ep of its always aunny and it made me think of it #dragon heist spoilers

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dragon-heisters · 1 year

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Session 32, 8 Apr 2023, The Last Session: "Got any o' them shit-ache mushrooms?"

Nuri has come down with something awful but soldiers on anyway. Legend. Suggested talking points: Pfenig is late, how not to die in a hyperbaric chamber, 'tis the season for baby sheeps.

Nuri takes Pfenig for a while, and we’re off. Okay, so we are in the dungeon where we have been told the hoard of Dragons is located. We’ve hopped over one collapsed bridge, and it turns out the other wasn’t supposed to fall so the DM has put it back. For now. Vervain edges up to it but chickens out, as Dex is their dump stat. Dainty Hazel tiptoes over first instead, after some sorting out of Windows as people’s scroll bars are disappearing.

There’s another door, do we have to rub the dwarf on it like last time? Hazel checks it for traps and locks. 17. “You can’t see any traps!” Wonderful. Natty 20 for 24 total on Perception, she hears nothing but a few spiders scuttling around behind it. She picks the lock. an 18 is good enough! What’s behind it, something nice? Hazel peeks through.

A ten foot tall statue of a dwarf. The ceilings are 20ft high. There is a trap door in the floor with a pull ring directly in front of the statue. Nuri uses the rope between Hazel and Vervain as a guide, and walks across the bridge. Pfenig squeezes his puffball stress ball and follows him. Vervain shrugs and crosses as well, without incident.

Vervain looks at the statue; it’s Gorn, the dwarven god of vigilance. AKA Fire-Eyes. Hazel: “Ah, so he’s like a traffic warden.” Any buttons or pulleys or switches? Hazel makes an Investigation check - 15. Other than the statue and the trap door, the room is empty. No sign of secret doors or loose floor tiles.

Look down the trap door then? Nuri opens it. DM, gleefully: “Excellent, make a Dexterity saving throw please!”

He rolls a five.

“Right. Here’s what happens.”

The statue’s eyes glow red and fire shoots out of them. Nuri halves it, but it’s still 11 points of fire damage. “Well, those temporary hit points were short lived.”

We think the trap door might be just a fake, designed to make us hurt ourselves.

Hazel, shaking her head, disappointed: “Oh, Fire Eyes.”

Vervain looks more closely at the statue; no buttons or levers. They think that maybe something was kept in here at one time, but it’s long gone now. Nuri has a little sulk, and we leave.

Good thing it wasn’t Pfenig who got toasted, or we’d all be smelling burnt mushrooms by now. This leads to a quick aside about the pronunciation of the word shiitake, which leads naturally to this:

“Got any o’ them shit-ache mushrooms?”

We remember that it was when Nuri touched the ring that the fire shot out, not when he actually pulled it. If we can wait, Nuri can summon his Unseen Servant to tie the rope to the trap door, and we can all pull it open. If we want. He does something stupid instead and manages to exit both himself and Hazel out of the game.

***We’ll be right back after these messages! Is 5e too tame for you? Are you looking for more challenging tabletop gaming? Try new Pathfinder! Deadlier traps! Sassier goblins! More frequent and evil DM laughter! Ask your DM about Pathfinder today!***

(Pfenig pops in during the impromptu intermission, yay! “Sorry, I fell asleep.”)

Nuri is rethinking the trap door, he doesn’t think there’s anything useful under it. Wait - actually we just want to check.

DM: “Where do you all want to be?”

Vervain: “Well now you’ve said that, out of the room.”

As soon as the rope touches the ring, the fire shoots out again. Okay, never mind.

We chuff on over to the middle bridge. The gap is about fifteen feet; Vervain jumps across leaving the other end of their rope with the others. Nuri wants to use Pazuzu as a glider; he can’t, but he gets inspiration for the idea. He makes an Athletics check instead and rolls a dirty 20, hopping over with ease.

Pfenig could be a panther again, but then he won’t have any wild shapes left. Could we have a short rest once we’ve jumped?

Hazel ties the rope to him and he takes a big run-up (Athletics check) - Big fat seven! Vervain makes a Strength save at Advantage because of Nuri’s help and rolls a 5. Nuri spends his Inspiration to let them re-roll it, and they get a 20! Between Nuri and Vervain, they drag Pfenig up onto their side of the gap.

Hazel is the last one left. We give Pazuzu the rope and he flies over, so Hazel can tie it around herself. She takes a run-up and rolls a 17, making it over without incident.

Now we are faced with another charming door. Hazel approaches and does her thing. The DM has bad news for her - there is no lock, and yet somehow it’s locked. She Investigates the door; nat 1.

“Ohhhh, I hit my head.”

Do we need the dwarf? Pfenig has a disguise kit, we could disguise Pazuzu as a dwarf…?

Is it magically locked, perhaps? Pfenig casts Detect Magic. He only bloody detects some magic. It’s an Abjuration spell.

Vervain tries giving it a shove but to no avail.

(Pfenig: “How come we’re not so much better at Dungeons and Dragons by now? We've been playing for ages!”)

We send Pazuzu to go and get the dwarf; we drag him across the gap in the bridge with the rope, and shove him in front of the door which opens straight away.

Four suits of rusted plate armour without helmets, dwarf sized, stand in each corner of the room beyond. 20 feet high ceilings. Dwarfish runes on the far wall, which we shove the dwarf at.

‘A secret never before told will part Durmathoin’s lips.’

Pfenig, Nuri, Vervain and Hazel make Religion checks; all useless. The dwarf stares at us. “That’s the dwarven God of Secrets.”

Nuri and Pfenig step into the room. Any like, scorched patches on the walls? Not that he can see. Pfenig takes a look at the armour. As well as being rusty, it’s covered in cobwebs.

No sign of treasure.

Any lips in here that look like they might part? Even the suits of armour don’t have mouths. Should we just start announcing secrets, Nuri asks?

You first, Vervain tells him.

We’re stumped. Pfenig just says a secret at the room.

“I ran away from home because I was ashamed of my family, and now I regret it.”

Is that true?

“Yes.”

Has Pfenig ever told anyone that before?

“No.”

A staircase appears in the floor!

Vervain plays tank as they have more hit points, and Pfenig goes second. Goddess of Death and the Anger Issues Fire Noble in the back.

Streams of sunlight pour down from the 30 foot high ceilings. Statues of dwarves, and piled in one corner is a fuck off huge pile of treasure!

The dwarf in the room suggests we come back later as the place is a bit of a mess.

… What?

The dwarf is called Arc Clanghammer. (sp?) This is his vault.

"We came for the tour, is that okay…?"

No no, there are no tours. Why did we come here?

“Well, it all started a long time ago…” Nuri begins. He then resorts to the truth. “Well, for the treasure, really. Please?”

We are told that the treasure belongs to Lord Neverember.

“Oh! No, no it doesn’t,” Nuri tells him. Pfenig is starting to feel unsure. Oh wait, Lord Neverember embezzled it from the good people of Waterdeep! That changes things somewhat! Pfenig turns back to the dwarf with righteous fire in his eyes.

The dwarf raises an eyebrow at him. “Stolen? That’s quite the accusation. Who does it belong to, then?”

Pfenig pulls us all into a huddle. “Who does it belong to?”

Nuri: “Well, who does gold ever belong to, really?”

“So you want the gold for yourselves?” the dwarf asks.

“No, we wanna give it to a pirate,” Nuri tells him. Pfenig is unsure again.

Nuri sums up what exactly our plan is for the gold. We want to give it to a Lord in a different city so he can make things better for people in both cities. "I forget some of the finer points."

The DM reminds us that the money was embezzled from the citizenry via taxes. Neveremeber planned to take it all with him. We want to give it to Jarlaxle who has promised to return it to the city in order to get a seat at the table in Waterdeep, minus a little bit for us.

Armed with that reminder, Nuri makes a Persuasion check with Guidance - 22 total.

That will do it! The dwarf thinks it over. If we would be so good as to follow him. We do that.

The dwarf has been tricked, it seems, into guarding this vault. It’s only right and proper that the gold is returned to the people. How do we plan to remove it all, he asks?

Well Nuri’s got this lamp -

A big gold dragon appears in the room. Oh it was the dwarf! Ahhhhh, okay.

Wait - there was the Staff of Egeron? Jarlaxle offered us extra money if we could retrieve that? The dragon tells us his real name - Auranax. He holds up a staff. Is this the one?

He won’t be parting with that, he tells us. Nuri: "Entirely understandable. One less thing to worry about."

We could have Jarlaxle’s drow help us remove the gold…? Will Auranax allow our friends to help us move all of this? He will.

Great!

We head on back up out of the cellar, making - wait, Perception checks?

We are almost at the huge double doors where the stairs lead up to the mill, when Nuri hears hushed, guttural voices. Something is coming down into the vault.

We are allowed a round to prepare, so we hide and cast some protective buff-type spells before rolling Initiative. Come hell or high water the DM is determined that this will be the last session, so off we go!

One of them dies before ever getting into conflict with us; we make Perception checks. Vervain hears voices speaking in Elvish - “Bullshit. I’ll kill twice as many in one shot.”

Vervain doesn’t recognise the voices, but Thessalie might have…

They ignore it and attack the closest bugbear. The flail misses but the Spiritual Weapon anvil does not, crunching into the bugbear's head.

The leader of the group lets out a horrible scream as it is impaled by something we can’t see, and dies. Huh?

Pfenig takes a Frost Ray from the - Gazer? - and makes a Dex save but fails and takes 10 cold damage. It’s his turn.

He casts Shilsdgdfkhgjfghklh and uses Symbiotic Entity, using his last Wild Shape to do it, and gains 20 temp HP.

Nuri has something he’d like to share in a 20 foot radius sphere. Fireball! (*chanting* level 5! level 5! level 5!) Dex saves for a bunch of bugbears and a Gazer. They all fail their saves and take 30 fire damage; the Gazer turns to ash. Nuri blows on his finger pistols. He pops back round behind the pillar, and the Goddess of Death is up. She shoots at one of the bugbears with a 25, stripping it of all but 5 of its HP. She hides, vanishing from sight.

Another bugbear introduces Pfenig’s skull to his morningstar - but he has to make a Con save first. He rolls a two, and takes a mighty eight necrotic damage, as Pfenig rolls max on his damage dice!

Another takes a swing and a miss. This is a piss-poor show. Pfenig gives him a wink.

A drow appears and stabs a bugbear in the kidneys. We’ve met this guy before! We chased him across a rooftop! He said no hard feelings, so we’re cool. He’s very loyal to Jarlaxle.

His mate pops up and takes a stab as well, killing another one.

Vervain lifts up their Spiritual Weapon anvil and drops it on the bugbear again for another 8 damage, and takes a swing with the flail again - another miss. I don’t think I've ever hit anything with this bloody flail.

A bugbear trips over the flail Vervain has discarded and misses with their attack. The one in front attacks Vervain as well and hits. “My skull! I’m using that!”

The Gazer makes two eye-ray attacks against Pfenig and Vervain, but both make their saves. We ain’t even bovvered.

Pfenig finds himself and Vervain surrounded. Fortunately one of our assailants has brains dripping down the side of its face. He takes his Shildfjgkldsghjsg’ed club and cracks the one in front of him “like a morning egg”. It hits but the bugbear is still on its feet, somehow.

Hearing the clattering, banging and swearing, Nuri pops his head out. He sees five enemies; he is going to fire a Scorching Ray at some of them. He, as a Warlock, must cast the spell at whatever level spell slots he has - so he must, Must, add an extra ray. All four hit! The bugbears are standing still, but very ropey-looking now.

Hazel takes a shot at a bugbear but the shot goes wide. Nat 1 - Twang! If this attack was made with a bow or crossbow: roll a d10. On a 1-9 the weapon’s damage is reduced by 1d4 until repaired. On a 10, the string snaps. She rolls a 9 so the bow doesn’t break, but only just.

A bugbear attacks Vervain from behind and hits for 9 damage. Pfenig makes his wounds go manky, and he dies.

Vervain casts Sacred Flame on the one who’s been savaging them from behind and explodes it in a puff of golden ash.

Meloon Wardragon appears, and shouts to Nuri. “You alright up there, kid?”

Nuri has mixed emotions about this. Meloon adds that he thinks he owes Nuri a drink or ten.

“… Cool.”

One of the bugbears sidles up to Pfenig and takes aim with his morningstar. Pfenig’s head stays on but he has a ringing in his ears now.

The Gazer moves to bite Nuri, but misses. Pfenig swings around to the one that just hit him and gives him “a taste of Shildfgkdhjljjh, right in the teeth.” 6 bludgeoning damage. He’s still up, somehow.

Nuri, who now has a Gazer in his face, wonders what the range is on Burning Hands. A 15 foot cone, he is told. In that case he will cast another Racial Ability Trait spell - Flame Blade. This is new!

15 fire damage, and a how de do dis! He cuts it in half, cauterising each half as he cuts. Xanathar will not be pleased about this.

Hazel does a bit of shootsy-shootsy, and hits with a 25. 19, minus a d4 brings it to 15, but she gets a how de do dis! "You know the bit in LotR where the troll dies? A bit like that. It’s almost sad."

Vervain backs up and casts Guiding Bolt on the last remaining bugbear - doing 20 radiant damage! They stare at their hands in disbelief. The bugbear hits Pfenig, who Hellish Rebukes it, saying in Infernal, “Hey, less of that.” The Hellish Rebuke only does half the damage as the bugbear makes its save, but it’s enough - how de do dis!

“Would you just stop it!” With his words alone, Pfenig kills the last bugbear.

And with that, we have beaten not only the DM’s dungeon puzzle, but also his Dragon Heist puzzle!

#dnd #dragon heist #dragon heist spoilers

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