#either that or I'm a shite photographer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

Text

NCIS Reaction: Yankee Whites

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts [with (maybe) occasional asides by Jezebel (@typicalopposite)]

The honorable Introductory Conversation, for your viewing pleasure:

Wench: I’m only halfway through my workkkkk. Jezebel: OOOOOF *two minutes later* Wench: Ya know what, heck it. Episode now, work later. Cool? Jezebel: YESSSS. Don’t forget to send me the link too. I wanna watch with ☠️ I can just work while I do it Wench: kjl;kadjf okay. I'm gonna dish out some soup first, though. Jezebel: 😂😂😂 ok! Wench: I'm gonna get coffee too Jezebel: You bastaddd Wench: Oh shit, I already had coffee Jezebel: 😂😂 Wench: I thought I'd finished that half an hour ago a;lskdfj. Clearly it's not doing its job

I know that our random introductions are amazing, so I gift you with more! Anyway, on to the ep…

– – –

That opening screen felt like the opening to a Dark Angel alskdfj

New guys are always suspicious; never trust new recruits

[Kateee] idk who Kate is, but she’s apparently important

Well, I guess they know each other. But still

Always expect problems. YES! Exactly!

[Welp. Look at that. A problem] Ma’am, what art thou doing. [This isn’t even my reaction. I can’t help it]

Wait. Didn't he already meet her?

Well shite, buddy's dying.

“What’s wrong with him?” DO YOU NOT SEE THE FROTH MADAM ASDLKFJASLDKFJALDKFJ

The president is the murderer, obviously

Whoa, damn. That's an impressive boat

LOGAN Er. Tony. I mean.

“If we had our own jet-” kasjdf;lksadjf

"Details are sketchy" I see you, Sketchy-from-Dark-Angel reference

alksdjflaksdjf THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T TALK IN ACRONYMS

“NCIS. Never heard of it” They never have

“Only if you’re dyslexic” Damn, Logan, go off

Loving the recurring conversation about the jet alskdfj

[Ducky] idk who Ducky is either, but cool!

Y'ALL. STOP TALKING IN ACRONYMS.

Y'all, please, consider the foam. Please. That is the best clue you've freaking got.

"Looks like a natural death to me" I'M SORRY?!!??!?! WHAT THE- WHAT

Stop. talking. about. food. and focus. on the possible. poisoning. [Just wait lol]

I. I'm not sure this is how things are supposed to work.

alaksdjflsakdjfl;ksadfj THIS TIME IT'S LOGAN (er. Tony) WHO'S STUCK STARING AT THE CONFLICTUAL TENSION FROM THE OUTSIDE

Y'all, handshakes aren't supposed to last that long; now you're just holding hands (cough cough)

They're. Taking the plane.

I once again am about 99% certain this isn't how things work

This. Is veryyyy suspect.

lkjas;ldkfjas; Tony, sir. Now who's a cocky, "happy-go-lucky sociopath."

Y'all, please stop ranting about a model on a magazine and FOCUS ON THE DEAD BODY

I greatly appreciate the Air Force One references

How do you not know liver temp stuff; it's in, like, any CSI episode. Which clearly exists in this universe

I'm sorry, why. Why. Please stop. Liver temp isn't that accurate

[Good luck keeping up with all the rules]

Tony is indeed Alec-coded, ngl. And I actually like him okay in this one, thus far. Cocky little shit? Yes. Decently acted? Thus far. Aka: not bad, currently. [Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂😂💕]

MA'AM DO NOT PUT YOUR GLOVES OVER YOUR MOUTH THAT DEFEATS THE POINT OF GLOVES

I swear, every single organization in these kinds of shows are represented as the underdog. CTU in 24; NCIS in, well, NCIS; CSI in, oh yeah, CSI. Y’all don’t have to make your organizations cool by making them the unknown-but-not-to-be-underestimated group

I'm. I'm sorry, but what is Tony's job? Is he the crime scene photographer/sketch artist or an interviewer or-? [Comedic relief ☠️] NOOOO [I mean he is] FAIR

THE PHOTOGRAPH SCENE IS BEAUTIFUL

"Or the only presidential detail you'll get will be walking Spotty" ngl, walking the dog doesn't sound too bad

"Where's the body?" "I don't know" … Not that convincing, bud

“Never say you’re sorry” What rule is that?

Oh, damn, no crocheting it? That poor rule feels so unappreciated

alksdjf They're going to solve the case off of that few-ribs-and-coleslaw evidence, I call it now

NOOOOO TONY ASJLDFKJA;SDLKFJA;LSKDFJ Oof

Okay, I admit, that was hilarious

Was that President Logan from 24? I only got a glimpse (I think it was)

– – –

So, I confess that I kinda forgot until a bit past halfway, but I’m gonna keep up the midpoint reaction thing for these. SO…

It's more enjoyable than I've expected thus far, I'm gonna be honest. Currently --- and idk how I feel about saying this, but... *sigh*, I guess I will --- Tony is indeed top character. Then Ducky. Then, I guess, Kate, but I don't feel strongly. [Yusss! Successs! 😂😂😂😂 love it! Also. You haven’t met Abby yet] This is true! It does kinda annoy me, however, that they stillllllll seem to be ignoring the fact that the guy had white foam coming out of his mouth because THAT IS A SYMPTOM THAT CAN GIVE THEM A HEADS-UP ABOUT WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN THE AUTOPSY but anyway… *clears throat, calms self* Not bad thus far! [☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️]

Now I’m gonna go get that coffee. Back in a few :)

– – –

Coffee is obtained; onward we go!

ABBY NAME DROP

"What's this?" "A mole" Buddy, leave it to the experts aslkdfj

Sir. Sir. Why are you trying to sleep on the autopsy table. [Cause buddy don’t sleep] AND AN AUTOPSY TABLE WILL HELP? [Be prepared for sad ass back story for Gibbs. Idk what ep]

Health snacks are poison

SEE, SOMEONE HAS ACTUAL BEDS

"Bless you" "What are you, my priest?" "... Curse you?" Abby, I like you already

HER GLOVE. I’m obsessed [😂😂😂]

lkajsdlfkjsad;lkfj not going after the diet!!!

How can anyone trust what NCIS says at this point? They're legitimately lying constantly.

I. Don't trust this "natural death"

He said please! [I love that you say that… Just wait] ABBYYYYYY

Y'all, it wasn't a stroke.

CHECK THE DRINKKKKK They don't mention shit unless it's important

Oof. The Ted-centric scene is a bit sus- OI WHAT DID I SAY

I confess that I didn’t expect him to die, but whatever. I called it.

“He’s here because his gut is still churning, isn’t it?” At least it’s not poisoned (yet)

NCIS = Naval Criminal Investigative Service, I see

Y’all. Why are you eating. On a plane. Where you can’t see the preparation. When a guy died there. Yesterday.

Ma’am, the fact that you feel the need to justify your choices is telling. This is very Max-justifying-Eric-coded, just saying

“Everyone on-board has been vetted by us” Yeah, and the body was allegedly secured by you too, but that ended up being Tony, so.

I love Abby's necklace

That hair is not laboratory-regulation-compliant, but I ignore this for style

"Doesn't appear to be a robbery" Y'ALL. THE FOAM. I'M BEGGING YOU.

Abby, you're adorable and I love you

I SAIDDDDDDD THAT IT WAS A TOXIN. I SAIDDDDD [You did indeeeeed]

You know, maybe, if you’d considered what poisons cause frothing at the mouth, you’d have gotten there faster

Oh, damn, poor... uh. first dude. I feel bad for not knowing his name

Damn, Alec-coded characters get no rest; leave Tony alone [Moooood]

Two people in the bathroom isn't suspicious at allllll

THEY WERE THERE FOR A DRINK. IN PUBLIC. HOW DO YOU THINK SHE GOT THE POISON SOAKED INTO HIS UNIFORM IN PUBLIC. THEY WEREN'T DOING COITAL SHIT IN THE DAMN BAR (Just to be clear, I understand that it was a test. But still. It's a stupid test.)

Gibbs, you're kinda an ass. Just saying. [Tis true. You grow to love him but he is lol]

This is so hectic. The President's whole staff boutta get killed by snakes that aren't even in the room. [And another one bites the dust. I’m tired of these mfing snakes on this mfing plane ]

Y'all. Pay attention to the suspicious guy who immediately turns away

LKSAJFDLKADSJF THE MOVIE. THEY’RE DOING THE BLOODY MOVIE

I’m crying. That’s hilarious.

But also. How tf did Air Force One not change stuff after the movie.

What was the plan there. How was that possibly gonna do anything.

Oh, no, not the paperwork

Kate gonna go work at NCIS… Maybe you can have relationships with supervisors there

"Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign" mmmhmmm

"FBI this", "Secret Service" that… Poor NCIS, getting no love on the television

ngl, I don't think I'd *want* that attention. Attention means attention for the good, but also attention for the bad

AND WE’RE DONE!

– – –

Unlike Jezebel, I’m cool enough to give you my summary reaction at the end of the liveblogging post, so…First episode was decent! I'm not in the practice of judging a show by the pilot --- The X Files proved that one, as did Dark Angel (well... the entire first season was misleading, technically) and a number of others --- but it was decent! And I'm willing to keep watching for (currently) Tony and Abby, so. I'll do another episode today, I think, and then switch back to my work. See if I can fit in another at the end of that. Savvy? [Sounds good 🙂]

#ncis #ncis reactions #reactions #episode reactions #leroy jethro gibbs #kate todd #tony dinozzo #abby scuito #donald mallard #s01e01 #yankee whites #wench (pr)

10 notes · View notes

tvitr · 1 year

Text

Well looky here Part 2

Yeah so let's continue this, shall we? :^)

Previously: Iono pesters Grusha into appearing on Iono Zone to talk about The Accident™️. Grusha fucks around and talks about a load of unrelated shite instead. Iono gets mad, Grusha gets offended, and finally snaps and tells her all about The Accident™️. Iono gets sad because as it turns out, The Accident™️ was a sad event. Who would've thought?

It's the next morning. As usual, Geeta is monitoring her gyms to ensure they've opened on time; each leader is given a key card which not only activates the power to the gym, but also lets her know they've arrived. It's a bit draconian, and she acknowledges that, but if she didn't watch them so closely, then Lord knows half of the barely interested motely crew she calls a League wouldn't even bother showing up to work.

Most of the leaders have signed in by now. All of them except for Grusha and Iono.

Now Grusha being late doesn't bother her in the slightest; she knows from the countless cancelled gym inspections that his gym's location makes it prone to closure due to adverse weather conditions. The weather can often get so bad that it's the only gym in Paldea with different opening hours depending on the season, as well as the only one with beds and showers in the event that staff find themselves stranded there overnight. Needless to say, him being a bit late isn't out of the ordinary.

Iono being late, on the other hand, certainly is out of the ordinary. Not only does she live within walking distance of her gym, but due to her gym career's popularity on her channel, she never misses a day off work, at least not without prior notification. Needless to say, her being late is definitely cause for concern, in Geeta's eyes anyway.

Geeta barges into the reception, likely interrupting Rika's escapades on Bumble, and asking her if she's heard from Iono that morning.

"No, why, should I have heard from her?"

"Well she's never usually this late."

"Hm. Strange." Rika's attention returns to her phone. This sounds suspiciously like a Geeta problem anyway. Only she's this anal about everyone being in on time.

"Grusha hasn't signed in either, could you call him as well after you've called Iono? It's probably just the weather in his case, but I just want to be sure-"

"Oh, apparently they were together last night. He was one of her streams. Didn't watch it myself but a few of my friends did-"

Geeta shot her a glare. "Are you suggesting they spent the night together...?"

Before Rika can respond, Geeta turns on her heel and leaves, demanding Rika call them both, just for putting the mental image of them making out into her mind. Rika huffs, closing Bumble and calling Iono. She's never off her phone, she'll answer for sure.

The number rings out.

She tries again, getting the same result. Third time, and the call is rejected outright. Either she's filming a video, or she really doesn't want to be contacted right now.

Assuming the former, and figuring Iono will just text her if she's currently busy, Rika then rings Grusha. He answers immediately.

"Listen, tell Geeta I'm on my way, it was really foggy this morning and it's only just lifted-"

"Yeah yeah, I figured. Listen, uh- wait you said you're on your way to your own gym?"

"Yeah, I just said that."

Technically he didn't, but she's willing to let that slide. "So you... didn't stay with Iono last night then?"

A loud fake retch from the other end. "Ew, no, why?"

"She hasn't signed in yet, Geeta says that's weird. Apparently."

"Well she wasn't exactly in good form when I left her yesterday. Not sure if that has anything to do with it."

"What do you mean?"

~~~

Grusha hadn't known what kind of reaction he was expecting from Iono when he showed her that photograph. He'd wanted an apology, sure, just... not a tearful one. He didn't like tears.

"I mean, you did ask."

Perhaps that was a bit too blunt for the occasion. Iono did seem genuine distressed and sorry after all, and he certainly didn't want to rub anything in.

But at the same time, she did ask.

She sniffed, wiping her nose on her oversized sleeve and regaining her composure a little. "I'm sorry, okay? I just..." Her voice trails off as the tears came back.

He sighs and sits down next to her, arms folded once again. "I'm not opposed to talking about it, you know."

She glares. "Then why didn't you?"

He leans back, eyes moving up to the ceiling. "Well, how would you feel if people kept asking you for interviews, but only about that one time you did a makeup video and your foundation was way too dark and-"

Iono groans loudly. "Why do you of all people know about that?"

"That doesn't matter. But you wouldn't want to be remembered only for that incident, would you?"

She suddenly seems to realise what he's getting at, and looks away sheepishly. "No. I guess not."

"But that's what it feels like for me." His voice grows quieter. "Ever since my accident, it's like nobody ever cares about what I actually achieved. It's overshadowed everything. Every tournament, every achievement, every competition I ever won, everything I ever did for that sport here in Paldea, it just... doesn't matter any more. I'm the most decorated winter athlete in Paldean history, but it doesn't feel that way any more. I'm just "the one who had an accident" now. That's it."

Iono pauses. "I... I never thought about it that way."

~~~

"Let's just say... she has a lot to think about at the moment."

#so. it was finished this whole time #and i can possibly go on with a part three!#pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scarvi #gym leader grusha #gym leader iono #grusha #iono #idk if it's necessary to tag geeta and rika since they're not the stars of the show lmao #they're just. there #my writing #pokémon #gym leaders #part 3 would be like. mostly iono's perspective #which could be fun #eh i'll tag the other two anyway #champion geeta #elite four rika

5 notes · View notes

imaginejamesandsirius · 6 years

Note

Can I pleeeease have a fluffy maybe a bit smutty first "I love yous" fic? Maybe they'd been going out for a while or it's the catalyse for their long and happy life together (yes I'm still in denial) either one of fine? Thank you for all your amazing stories I live for them! We are so blessed!

((A/N: This is… well. It exists.))

James and Sirius were… well JamesandSirius. You never saw one of them without the other, and if you did, they were miserable for having been separated. They were spontaneous and sometimes made rash decisions, but most of those turned out okay, so they didn’t stop. They couldn’t surprise each other, but everyone else, well, they never stopped being surprised by those two.

It was the day before Winter Break started, and everyone was lazing around. There weren’t any classes, and everyone-- teachers and students both-- just wanted to get out of there.

Today, James and Sirius weren’t wreaking havoc like they usually did with their free time. Instead, they were lying on the floor of their dormitory, staring up at the ceiling that was temporarily enchanted to act out The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Currently, it was on ‘The Warlock’s Hairy Heart’, not that either of them were truly watching.

“I’m going to miss you,” James said out of nowhere.

“Unless you’ve got some news for me, mate, we’re going to the same place for break. There won’t be an opportunity to miss me because I’m not gonna leave you alone.”

“I mean after Hogwarts.”

“Again, unless you’ve got some news for me, that doesn’t make sense. We’re getting a flat together, remember?”

James sighed aggravatedly. “You know what I mean.”

“Can’t say I do.” For once, he wasn’t being difficult on purpose, and James was fully aware of that.

“We’re living together next year, but what about after that?”

“We keep living together,” Sirius said, the ‘duh’ in his tone obvious even if he didn’t make the intonation. “Why are you so worried about this anyway?”

“I’m planning.”

“Planning what?”

“The fuck do you think?” James asked, rolling onto his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows so he could look at Sirius.

Sirius tilted his head back for a moment with his back arched to make eye contact, then relaxed again. He shrugged, frowning that he didn’t automatically know what James meant. “If I knew what you were thinking I wouldn’t have had to ask.”

“People get married after graduating from Hogwarts. A few years, then bam, wedding bells and suddenly their best mate lives in a different town and they don’t see each other everyday.”

“Ah.” Sirius tilt his head. “Y’know, you have a point.”

“I know I have a point, Si, that’s--”

“No,” Sirius cut him off, “I mean, that’s a really good point. We just need to make sure we don’t get married.”

James frowned at him. “How do we do that?”

“We get married. To each other.” He rolled in a way that was distinctly uncomfortable, but had the advantage of letting him see James without having to get up. “Let’s get married.”

James raised an eyebrow. “That was a shite proposal.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t a proposal, it was more like… asking if I should propose.” When James didn’t immediately say anything, Sirius said, expectant, “So?”

Confused, James asked, “‘So’ what?”

“So do you want to get married?”

“Yeah totally,” James said, not even having to pause to think about it. “Can we do it over break?”

“Sure.”

“...That was still a shite proposal.”

~~~

Euphemia was equal parts excited and flustered. Excited, because they were getting married and she could officially claim Sirius as her son. Flustered, because she had thought they were still pining over each other but suddenly she was planning a wedding for two people who insisted they didn’t care how nice it looked, they just wanted to get married. She would roll her eyes and mutter, “Boys,” when that would happen. If they were a little bit older, they would put more stock in this day (although she did appreciate that they were more excited for their life after this than this single day).

For all that it was their wedding and she knew she should respect their wishes, she did ignore that bit. They might say they didn’t care if it looked gorgeous or where it was or what they were wearing, but she knew they would regret not having decent wedding pictures. So despite her and Fleamont’s desires to make this wedding opulent, they settled on a simple wedding in their backyard. She wanted to drape the area in gold and white, fill it with all the glory her boys deserved.

Instead she focused on hanging fairy lights, filling the empty area with soft, warm light. She got them and Remus and Peter suits, she bought a few bouquets because like it or not, each of the grooms was going to be holding one, for pictures if nothing else. She didn’t bother with chairs, knowing the union would be short, and the guest list comprised of four-- six if you counted the officiant and photographer, which she didn’t.

She watched as Sirius linked his fingers with James, giving his hand a comforting squeeze and started to tear up. She knew that they belonged together, but she hadn’t been sure she’d live long enough to see it happen. She leaned into Fleamont’s side and could tell from the way he molded into it that he was thinking the same thing.

The officiant wasn’t saying much, more giving direction for when they needed to do what. Personally, she would have liked someone who knew the boys, someone who could give them the romantics they deserved but didn’t ask for.

He asked Sirius to place the ring on James’s finger, which he did, giving his hand a light kiss after sliding it on and smiling softly at him.

~~~

Sirius closed the door behind them and rested against it, still smiling at James. He felt like he hadn’t stopped since the ceremony. He chuckled, “I can’t believe Mum was so into that.”

James shook his head. “I can. I think she’s just happy you’re officially part of the family, y’know?”

Sirius hummed but didn’t dwell on it. “She didn’t ask how we got together, or when, or… anything really. I kinda thought she would.”

James shrugged, undoing his tie and the top buttons on his shirt. Then his coat came off, then the vest, then the shoes. He felt like a bloody cake with all these tiers, not particularly caring at the moment that he looked resplendent in black and gold-- he just wanted to be comfy.

Sirius took off his coat, but stopped after that, just watching James rub his hands over his face-- after a small break to take off his glasses. “So.”

James looked at him expectantly.

Sirius looked around the room in a showy way. “It is our wedding night. I hear there are traditions about this sort of thing.”

James snorted and said, “Yeah, cause we’re so traditional,” but held out his hand for Sirius, pulling him in for a kiss. Sirius opened his mouth for him automatically, pressing up against him without hesitation, though he couldn’t feel much through his suit. James smiled against his mouth, leaning back to unbutton his vest for him.

Afterwards, Sirius hummed, snuggling up to James under the covers. “I love you.”

James giggled, then it turned into a full laugh, making him sit up so he didn’t asphyxiate or summat.

Sirius glared up at him, but not because he was actually upset-- well, he was a little bit. James gave great cuddles and now he was gone. “Are you coming back down yet?”

With a last little laugh and shake of his head, James flumped back down to the bed. “I love you too, you tosser.” He shifted to his side to face Sirius. “And just so you know? You could’ve said that before we got married.”

Sirius shrugged unrepentantly. “You could’ve done too.”

#filled #prongsfoot #marauders #james potter #sirius black #euphemia potter #getting together #hogwarts time #no voldemort au #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

34 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Ali & Carly

Ali: ⚰ knock knock Ali: do i need to get the ouija out Carly: yea Carly: tho bit late to ghost the lad in my bed Carly: idk who he is Ali: 🤠 put on a disguise Ali: like whomst Ali: beats having to leave your own gaff Ali: tho it is a crime scene Carly: got love bites from my arse to my elbow Carly: is he a vamp or what like Carly: i taste good i kno Carly: [sends photographic evidence] Ali: bitch Ali: are you anaemic?! Ali: leech sounds more like it but is he sparkly with good hair Carly: bitch its too early for words i cant spell wtf Carly: he is sparkling but thats my shine ha Carly: the hair is a no Ali: low on iron, probs, i'll get you some iron tablets Ali: taste like blood, don't tell your bedmate, he won't wanna leave Ali: party's over n sharing ain't caring Ali: someone's feeling herself this morning Ali: here for it Ali: I've already been left so that's a no to me Carly: party only ended when i passed out a few hours ago Carly: so yea Carly: was fun Carly: baby no come over Ali: was whilst it lasted for me too but you know Ali: duty calls Ali: you sure Ali: don't wanna break it up if you're good to go again Carly: yea Carly: not scared to go hard on site cuz garda are to come around Carly: i am but hes snoring Carly: & boring Carly: come Ali: perks Ali: check he's not bumped his head Ali: they'd have to come if a normie went missing Carly: nah he has to go before he goes for a slash in my bed Carly: lads are ming Ali: want me to forward that to lene Ali: make her day Ali: steal my girl Carly: do Carly: never seen her party before Carly: weird Ali: Yeah Ali: she can hang but Ali: you know, other shit on her mind Ali: work being one of 'em Ali: thank god I ain't working today Carly: & i cant get a job Carly: ha Carly: can get rid of this boy easy tho Carly: hold on Ali: another skill for the CV Carly: yea Carly: better not have knocked me up Carly: not cute Ali: Umm Ali: you need to go to the pharmacy Carly: theres so much shit on the floor i cant tell whats us & whats party Carly: idc Carly: idk Carly: ill ask him Ali: Lemme know Ali: if I could pick it up for you I would Ali: guess I can, put on a oscar winning show for the nosy bitch in there Ali: Ma will die Carly: ha Carly: its k he wouldnt have gone near me w out Carly: quoted Ali: what a prick Ali: better not be there when i show up cunt Carly: hes leaving Carly: screaming him awake will do that like Carly: ha Ali: what he get for passing out 🤷 Ali: coulda shaved his eyebrows off like Carly: next time maybe Ali: get out the sharpie and all Ali: now it's a party Carly: need your artsy talents tho Carly: me just hold up i need my baby Ali: you got it covered babe Ali: i believe in you Carly: aw Carly: i gotta clean me & this place need belief Ali: how long are your rents away and are there enough stragglers we can rope in Ali: twatface not included, bye Carly: idk but yea theres lads everywhere Carly: mattress is covered Ali: 👏 Ali: put 'em to work Carly: while i lie here k Ali: hmm Ali: no bitch Ali: i know you're princess 'round these parts but still Ali: carriage is back to being a pumpkin sweetie Carly: but im 🤒 Ali: you're hanging Ali: can't claim morning sickness now bitch Ali: chop chop Carly: ha Carly: k bitch Carly: honeymoon over yea Ali: will be if your 'rents come back to this and murder you Carly: idc Carly: be sweet to me Ali: awh baby Ali: only playing tough love Ali: thinking i'm spending too much time with my gf? Carly: yea Carly: i missed you when she stole you away Ali: how dare she 😜 Ali: missed you too tho Carly: youre mine Carly: married you first Carly: & you didnt say bye to me 😢 Ali: are you sure Ali: 'cos I ain't Ali: but how unforgivably rude 😰 Carly: id remember Carly: never forget my boo Ali: baby Carly: you can make it up to me tho Ali: oh yeah? Ali: lemme guess, feed u grapes whilst you recline Carly: nah just be here Ali: easy Ali: got to yoga first but then i'll be there Ali: went too hard with the dancing last night obvs Carly: k ill shower that lad off me Carly: i think you went just right baby Ali: too descriptive babe 😬😂 Ali: calm down with your creative ways Carly: ha Carly: you should hear me sext Carly: so good Ali: sure Ali: maybe works on the straight boys 😉 Carly: not trying to work on anyone else Carly: tell your gf if shes gonna come for me Ali: you're alright, not her type Ali: I barely am Ali: 50% like Carly: shit odds Carly: that why shes so angry Ali: as shit as yours Ali: just in reverse Ali: not saying you're both wrong but Carly: k Carly: cant all be perfect babe Carly: thats just you Ali: 💁 Carly: you kno Ali: ugh my brother's being so annoying Ali: bitch i'm coming down i will fight you Carly: which 1 Ali: dancing one Carly: hes fun Ali: glad you think so Ali: send him over instead yeah Carly: you come here & stay at yours Carly: i'll Ali: alright Ali: you're getting a rough deal soz Carly: why Ali: 'cos he's usually the alright one, so if he's testing me, wait 'til the rest rock up Carly: idc i can sleep through anything Ali: be my guest Carly: but i want you to be mine Carly: had to share last nite Ali: you done w sharing? Carly: yea Carly: im mad Ali: aww Ali: pouty princess Carly: [sends a pouty selfie] Carly: cuz its better when you stay Ali: you're so cute Ali: it's rude and i object Carly: just for you my baby Ali: 😏 such a tease Carly: nah Carly: you can have anything you want Ali: yeah yeah Ali: anything you want from the shops Carly: theres nothing here Carly: i cant do that to you Ali: okay, i'll get breakfast and cleaning shit Carly: theres no money tho Ali: i don't mind Ali: s'only breakfast Ali: IOU if you want but honestly Carly: you're too good to me & for me boo Ali: nah i'm not Ali: no one deserves to be treated like shit the morning after Carly: got me crying Ali: baby Ali: don't be sad Carly: come down is a bitch but youre an angel Ali: 💚 i know Ali: you've survived it many a time before though, you'll be okay Ali: especially when you get some food and hugs Carly: yea Carly: shouldve invited your brother to my party Carly: what a bitch i am Ali: no no, he ain't here, just blowing up my phone being dumb Ali: you're alright, sure you'll meet him when summers out and he's out on town being fabulous Carly: k didnt fuck up the 1st impression Carly: love the gays Carly: your gf excluded like Ali: he's stalked your socials and liked what he's seen Ali: not in a creepy way 'cos gay, of course Ali: awh 😂 why can't we all get along Carly: he can add me i wont send him nudes Carly: cuz she looks at me like she was willing me to hang this hard Ali: oh good to know 😜 Ali: not letting him though, he chats shite and if he's gonna I need to vet it Ali: deal with it boy, crazy posessive wife like Ali: she's just angry with me Carly: idk who lads are if i cant id them in my usual and not seen his dick Carly: my bad if nudes go where they shouldnt Carly: whats he saying about me Carly: who could be angry at you too beautiful Ali: me either for a while, like Ali: feel it's unfair to describe it from memory of having to bath together Ali: awks Ali: just that you're cute Ali: n fun, of course Ali: and a hoe with it 😜 so her, easily lol Carly: aw Carly: but you didnt snog ronan last nite he werent there Ali: nah but she thinks i'm making a twat out of myself with you Ali: tragic straight girl crush, like Carly: cant have a crush on your missus Carly: weve gone beyond it Carly: real love Ali: yeah Ali: but you know Carly: she thinks were gonna fuck Carly: 3way would sort that Ali: exactly Ali: can't on principle Ali: and even if we whack out the strapon, no real dick for you so Carly: list where ive been Carly: puts loads of people off Carly: she'll know youre not trying to get w me Ali: i'm not gonna do you like that Ali: fuck that Carly: idc Carly: do what youve gonna do boo Ali: i know you don't Ali: but i do Ali: fuck those people who are just mad they weren't higher up in the list Ali: s'why you weren't so jog on Carly: stop being so nice to me Carly: if youre mean she'll forget her jealousy Ali: i don't want to Ali: i can handle it Ali: if she can't then Ali: that's that, isn't it Carly: yea Carly: but i dont wanna start shit for you Ali: trust, you didn't start this Ali: it's easier for her to pretend that's all it is Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: if i was a lad id be fucked wouldnt i Ali: probably Ali: don't agree with that, it'd be the same but it'd be different in how she'd be able to deal, yeah Carly: thank god i grew some tits Ali: 😂 Ali: good job babe Carly: my ma was made up as well Carly: took a while like Carly: cant let her get the album out cuz i look like a lad Carly: pretty one tho Ali: you were always cute Ali: i remember Ali: grew into your ears and all 😉 Carly: aw Carly: do you tho? Ali: yeah, 'course Carly: you were always scrapping Carly: shouldve got w your gf then she'd like you more Ali: 😬 let us not think of how troubling the age gap woulda seemed then Ali: must've thought i was a right scouse stereotype Ali: bitches deserved it tho Carly: i thought you were cute Carly: & brave Carly: i was always behind my ma's legs Ali: like my sister Ali: I was always down for the more the merrier but her and Laoise said coven's had to be three so Ali: 🔮 number and all Ali: and tbh Laoise weren't that thrilled Ro was there, like Carly: black magic vibes from her forever Ali: legit Ali: shoulda been scrapping with her, like Carly: yea or fucking her first bf but i got there before you Carly: idk how she knew tho cuz he didnt tell anyone Ali: never lose that sixth sense, babe Ali: esp. when concerning keeping a man 🙄 Carly: did her a favor he was shit Carly: didnt have a clue what he was doing Carly: thought every virgin binge watched porn like Ali: 😂 Ali: have you ever binge watched? you're learning nothing of value from that shite Carly: yea but when youre bored youre bored Ali: I hear ya Ali: always bored Carly: me too Carly: & this sex drive isnt set for a cry wank or eye fuck Carly: no offence ma and da Ali: can't take it personally, lads Ali: ain't there's to try and control Carly: they gotta txt me back so i kno when they are coming home Carly: wtf got you two so busy Ali: all that sex they ain't having Carly: porn binge watch Carly: tho my dad likes reading his Ali: Can't beat a sticky page Ali: lost arm form Ali: art, lmao Ali: sure his form is grand Carly: doctor like howd you lose that arm Carly: epic cry wank Ali: 💪 on the right Ali: limp noodle on the other Carly: hot Ali: that's your father you're talking about Ali: no need to be that stereotypical Carly: shit my bad Ali: 😂 Ali: i love you bitch Carly: I love you too Carly: loads Carly: im mad at you again tho Ali: why what have i done>!> Carly: some1 came round the doorway & i thought it was you so i opened up but nah Carly: enjoy the eyeful lads Ali: oh babe Ali: 😏 bless you Carly: not gonna put clothes on for my girl Carly: waste of time Ali: obvs, charm you out so quick Ali: least it weren't the postie, or was it Ali: Ma reckons we were gonna get complaints, as if mother Carly: lad did deliver for me Carly: not letters tho Carly: least id showered Ali: gotta replenish Ali: you chasing off your comedown rn tho Carly: cant outrun that bitch Carly: some of the mas on site are mad tho you can tell yours Carly: state of their sons my bad Carly: should've kept em in if you were bothered Ali: oh great Ali: no you can't speak to the manager, piss off helen Carly: ha Carly: my da is gonna be in such a mood when he hears Carly: sorry you missed out Ali: parents Ali: not like anyone died Ali: calm it everyone Carly: dont want me to fuck on site dont want me to go off it Carly: talk sense Carly: other day you were trying to marry me off da Ali: just 'cos it brings people to his door Ali: soz to take you away from all the cranking but Carly: yea Carly: sorry im not hiding in the back like w i was little Ali: yeah Ali: too big for the caravan now baby Ali: need your own, how much is it to rent Carly: theyre on about it but the state on this one might change their minds Carly: im cleaning as fast as i can k Ali: we're gonna sort it, i am omw swear Ali: and i'm a parent pleaser so Ali: do the rounds, sweettalk to mothers Carly: he'll just take me back to the doctors like take her off the tablets shes too outgoing now thx Carly: another of your talents boo Ali: when the meds work TOO well Ali: but of course Carly: if he was around hed kno how shit they are Carly: ha Ali: 😔 Ali: baby Carly: its k just gotta double down Carly: pro now Ali: 💚 Carly: style the freakout out cuz ima bad bitch Carly: facts and talents Ali: no lies Ali: the baddest Carly: what we doing today that isnt boring Ali: you mean you ain't buzzing to make like kim and aggy Ali: rude, i'm living Carly: do anything w you but Carly: can only check you out every time you bend Ali: cheeky Ali: appaz imma check all of you out, like Carly: what you dont wanna Carly: your gf will be sad shes so wrong Ali: didn't say that but yeah Ali: hate to make her admit that as well, like Carly: ill tell her Ali: you gonna snitch on me Ali: 🍯 Carly: nah jk Carly: i like annoying her tho Ali: i know Ali: it is funny Ali: not taking sides but lol Carly: taking mine i kno Ali: shh Ali: there's no right or wrong here, babe Carly: k but you love me more Ali: its different Carly: maybe Ali: maybe huh Carly: idk she dont think it is Ali: yeah Ali: but we know the truth Carly: fact is we're ruling this place together Carly: no surprise shes jealous Ali: if the 👑 fits like Ali: soz babe Carly: & we fit Carly: cant fight it Ali: nope Ali: if it works it works Carly: yea & you work it better than anyone babe Ali: oh you Ali: save it for all the Ma's you gotta say soz to Ali: 💋 Carly: ha Carly: mine will kick my arse out if she gets on one better leave the mattress where it is Ali: not gonna come to that but always room for a lil one at ours Ali: i got you Carly: aw Carly: never had a sleepover when i was a kid Ali: 😧 then you gotta Ali: tbh they weren't all that always but you know mine were the best Carly: yea no doubt Carly: all the magic Ali: exactly, midnight snacks and scaring the shit out of each other Ali: can tell you who you gonna marry if you've got a tea light, like Carly: thats easy tho Carly: no1 Ali: alright then, excluding the fact we already is so rude, tbh Ali: i'll tell you who you next gonna bang Ali: same diff Carly: youre just gonna say you Carly: smooth Ali: please Ali: gimme some credit 😂 Carly: now i gotta kno Ali: we'll do it when i get there Ali: which will be soon Ali: got stuck chatting to an old lady in the shop Ali: assume she can't see or she'd have avoided me like hell 😂 bless her Carly: if its ronan again or his cousin dont tell me Carly: aw so cute Carly: youre the sweetest & prettiest ever Ali: i'll casually throw the wax in the bin like nothing to see here Ali: not this morning baby but 1/2 ain't bad #stillgotit Carly: tell me you see my death & run like k bye Carly: every morning Ali: you'd rather your literal death? they ain't THAT bad, predictable but like, damn Ali: that's some shade, feel the burn, lads Ali: so are you cutie Carly: idk but over ronan hard Carly: hes being such an arsehole to me Carly: cba Ali: don't Ali: ignore his Carly: yea but like im gonna see him even if i do Carly: fucking site life Ali: i kno but blank him Ali: nothing talks louder Ali: or if you gotta, be proper polite like he's a stranger Carly: ha yea Carly: amazing Ali: childish but so is he so Ali: two can play at that game Carly: youre right i kno Carly: ive deleted his txts so i cant show you but its k cuz youd be sad Carly: or mad Ali: i'm sure i could guess the gist Ali: you can tell me if you wanna talk about it though, i promise i won't go ripshit Carly: idc Carly: ive known him long so i didnt think hed go that hard but thats what lads are like Carly: he fucks around more than me too Ali: he's a hypocrite Ali: just 'cos he knows other lads can do it better Ali: he's just insecure, babe, ignore him Carly: i need a holiday from here Carly: but ma & da never take me w Ali: shit considering how many times they manage Ali: cut a hol off and you'd have enough funds lads Ali: maybe we can Carly: i did kick off last time cuz they didnt refill my prescription Carly: went crazy like Carly: wouldnt want that girl there either Ali: not your fault, that, though Ali: you were literally off your meds Carly: that they reckon i dont need tho Ali: if you didn't then you wouldn't act like that without Ali: simple as Carly: never thought of that Ali: we'll go, i promise Ali: even if it ain't far Carly: lets camp Carly: marshmallows are the shit Ali: hell yeah! Ali: let's find a cave forreal Carly: YEA Carly: dont fall over tho Ali: do my best 😂 Carly: you gotta Carly: only scaring me w ghost stories or whatever Ali: promise Carly: k we'll go Carly: 💙 Ali: 💚 done and done Ali: do you wanna bring anyone else or Carly: got my fave coming Carly: do you Ali: nah Ali: just wanna take you exploring Carly: k Carly: then you can Ali: 👌 Carly: id go now so whenever you want boo Ali: soon Ali: i'll work it out Carly: i kno Carly: got the belief Ali: 🔮 Carly: should get dressed or nothing'll get done Ali: awh Ali: you knew i just got here Carly: they arent on yet Carly: not that fast Ali: jk Ali: find me on the mattress when you're decent bitch Carly: baby no Carly: youll catch something off that Ali: sitting on the carrier bag Ali: always thinking Carly: so smart

0 notes