Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Dragon Quest XI, Dragon Quest Series
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Camus | Erik/Hero | Luminary (Dragon Quest XI), Graig | Hendrik/Sylvia | Sylvando (Dragon Quest XI)
Characters: Graig | Hendrik (Dragon Quest XI), Camus | Erik (Dragon Quest XI), Hero | Luminary (Dragon Quest XI), Sena | Serena (Dragon Quest XI), Veronica (Dragon Quest XI), Homer | Jasper (Dragon Quest XI), Sylvia | Sylvando (Dragon Quest XI), Emma | Gemma (Dragon Quest XI), Marutina | Jade (Dragon Quest XI), Rou | Rab (Dragon Quest XI), Amber (Dragon Quest XI)
Additional Tags: Act II, writing this because my sleep schedule is shit, Character Study, Past Relationship(s), Explicit Sexual Content, Implied Sexual Content, Trans Erik, Trans Male Character, Miscarriage, Birth Control, Sexual Repression, Camping, Hero is named Eleven
Summary:
As dusk reaches the mountainous outbacks of Snilfheim, the party decides to set up camp at a nearby site before heading to Arboria. Erik has finally recovered his memories and his sister, and the Luminary is in even higher spirits as they set out on their quest.
It's there that Hendrick learns of an unofficial position that rotates through the party: The Night Guard, where someone guards the Luminary's tent to watch for Mordegon's spies. Being the honorable knight that he is, Hendrick offers to take the position as "The Night Guard" permanently, and there are no complaints about that.
Unfortunately for Hendrick, he soon learns the true reason for the job: it isn't to protect the Luminary from Mordegon's spies, it's to prevent anyone from walking in on Eleven and Erik while they're having ROWDY SEX. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.
As Hendrick slowly learns more about the humanity of the chosen Luminary and his boyfriend, he begins to grapple with the loss of his own.
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Regrading Taskmaster: S06E02 Tarpeters.
We open with Greg trimming the opening monologue and screaming at Alex at the top of his lungs. Alex debuts his various musks throughout the episode.
Prize Task: The Best Hairy Thing That Isn't Alive
The foremost collector of hair, he says it's real.
This is really easy to grade and Greg and I would have it exactly the same if I didn't believe in ties. Asim brings in a cardboard cutout of himself. Cardboard isn't hairy. Plus, there is plenty of evidence that you can, in fact, bring yourself in as a prize (Hugh Dennis brought himself in as a chair). Alice's hair clump is definitely the worst hairy thing because it's actual garbage.
Greg has Russell tie with Alice for a Chewbacca costume, but I think Chewbacca is obviously better than a clump of hair. Liza has a fun story, but no one was competing with Tim. I do actually think he brought in genuine Elvis hair because the man is famously a huge fan of the King.
Alice: 2 (0)
Asim: 1 (0)
Liza: 4 (0)
Russell: 3 (+1)
Tim: 5 (0)
VT 01: Get the highest score in darts.
You let yourself down, Vine.
The genuine dread that washes over the entire cast at the same time when they realize this is the task that is coming up is delicious. It's one dart from 1 meter, three darts from 2.37 meters (the actual distance one throws from in darts), or sixty darts from ten meters.
I really don't understand how Russell and Tim do so poorly other than it must be a lot harder to hit the board from ten meters than it looks. Still, you'd think with the number of times Russell hit the board, more would've avoided the black. Even so, you have to choose the sixty if you're in that position, because how often do you get the opportunity?
I looked at the boards and I take no issue with the scoring.
Alice: 2
Asim: 3
Liza: 5
Russell: 1
Tim: 4
Team Task: Keep Alex dry. Driest Alex wins.
Team Funk went and buzzed it.
Can I just clarify, we haven't settled on Team Funk.
Several DQ conditions here:
- Touching Alex.
- Being in the compass when the shower is on.
The task doesn't forbid the contestants from doing anything to the shower so breaking it, turning it off, etc, is completely okay.
I think the team of three might have touched Alex as they were draping bin-bags and tarpeters over him. It's not entirely clear and I assume that requirement was meant to prevent them from removing Alex from the shower.
Team Funk turns off the shower and adds a dry martini and hair dryers as the coup de grace. Greg gets the scoring right because the team of three didn't get disqualified.
Team Funk: 4
Asim, Liza, & Tim: 1
Studio Task: Take a picture of a group of people, each holding an egg. Most people holding eggs in a picture wins. You must be in your picture.
Well it just goes on and on forever.
It doesn't though, does it mate?
I don't think Greg's scoring makes any sense on this one. Let's set a few things straight:
"Take a picture" was meant to mean snapping a photo. I wish it hadn't included editing one together or making one. That said, you could take a screenshot of different eggs in different locations and it would still technically fit the letter of the task.
Holding an egg means actually HOLDING an egg. If you photoshop an egg onto someone, they weren't actually holding an egg. You simply made it appear that they were holding an egg.
With these rules in place, Liza didn't complete the task. No one in her photo is actually holding an egg. Even if we counted the photoshopped eggs, the task implies that everyone in the photo should be holding an egg. Hell, Liza herself doesn't even have a photoshopped egg. She is getting zero points.
It's tougher to tell with Asim's if everyone is holding an egg, but I think they are (and he definitely is). Alex says he is at fourteen people, but then later says he's at eleven. It's tough, but I counted nineteen.
Alice's is unambitious and actually has a random guy at his workstation in the background. This guy is not holding an egg. She's going to take a tough zero as well.
Russell's photo with the Mumbai Blasters fits the rules and numbers twenty people. Alex says twenty-three, but Alex is doing awful on measuring this task.
Let's address Tim. He uses a mirror trick to try and create an infinite feedback loop of himself holding eggs. It's clever, but by the letter of the task there are only two actual people holding eggs. Weirdly, that's still good enough for third.
Alice: 0 (-2)
Asim: 4 (+1)
Liza: 0 (-5)
Russell: 5 (+1)
Tim: 3 (+2)
VT 03: Make this wind-up little man on the most extraordinary journey.
He was alive!
The timer gives them thirty minutes so there is a question of whether they merely must set him on his journey or have him actually complete his journey within that frame. The word "make" implies that he just has to start it, which is important for Alice's attempt.
Liza stomps him and it's funny. It does scream "lazy" and it's definitely not extraordinary. Russell has Alex read Buddhist aphorisms while he drops the man off the roof. It's not all that extraordinary, but since Alex manages to catch him, I think it's one of the better efforts of these five.
Tim raises the man into a tree with a rope tied around his neck. Asim amusingly accuses him of lynching. It's kind of a pedestrian attempt, but it isn't lazy. Alice loses the man in the mail. I think we can guess that it was semi-extraordinary journey, but there's no proof of it.
Asim's journey is good and fun to watch. I actually don't fully understand how he got the monsters, fire, and camera into the pipe he travels through.
Alice: 2 (-1)
Asim: 5 (0)
Liza: 1 (-3)
Russell: 4 (+1)
Tim: 3 (0)
Live Task: When instructed, put your grape in either your mouth or your hand whilst staring at the taskmaster. You must then answer the taskmaster's question and fool the taskmaster into thinking your grape is not where your grape is. Your answer must contain at least five words.
Slippery . . . sausages . . . serendipity.
Stupid-ass grading in this one. It's meant to be a winner-takes-all task, but because Tim and Russell tie, they give everyone zero instead of having them replay the round. They do this despite Russell and Tim making it a round further than everyone else.
I'm going to give the five to Tim because Russell cheats in the final round.
Alice: 0 (0)
Asim: 0 (0)
Liza: 0 (0)
Russell: 0 (0)
Tim: 5 (+5)
F I N A L
Alice: 10 (-3)
Asim: 14 (+1)
Liza: 11 (-8)
Russell: 17 (+3)
Tim: 21 (+7)
Tim gets an early episode win. I'll be frank, Greg and Alex combined to create one of the worst-scored episodes in the franchise. It doesn't matter, because Taskmaster isn't about fair. It just upsets people doing pointless regrades, such as myself.
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eleven or serena for the ask game :D?
God it’s been a while since I wrote dq, let me wrack my brain on both of these
El:
1) everyone’s got their own take on el of course (silent protags you know the deal) but I feel like the One Most Important Thing about my very special boy as far as canon goes is the vibe of being, like, in over his head I guess? Like in general he’s barely an adult and gets thrown into a losing battle without even KNOWING it.
2) this one is definitely a Me Thing but canon!el strikes me very strongly as being like “I fucking hate this” for 90% of the game
3) so obviously all this flies out the window if you’re not writing canon or canon-adjacent, right. I think outside of canon he’s a bit more Chaotic. He’s known for playing pranks as a kid he deserves to be chaotic.
Serena:
1) way more competent than she believes herself to be. I don’t think I ever saw a fic that treated her otherwise but sometimes I saw people talking about act 1 serena like she was useless and that’s just factually untrue. Girl went ALONE into the cryptic crypt to rescue veronica and did so well that you find her TAKING A NAP almost right outside the boss’s room.
2) oh man I haven’t even read dq fic in so long. I think that first bullet point is all I got….
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An ask, should you choose to accept it: tell me about an underrated/underexplored ship or dynamic in the fandom of your choice! :3
You know what, now that you mention it...
I'm usually digging around in my brain for an obscure El or Erik ship to explore, but this morning I was thinking about Serevenerik again!
The three of them have the potential to be so cute together, and I think in general there's a lot of cool things to consider about throuples/poylamorous relationships that you don't get with two-person pairings. Like, which person is the best one to go to for a good cry session? Who cooks and who drives? Who has to sit out the nighttime cuddles because they produce enough body heat to charge a small sun? (Eleven)
If Luminerik is good enough on its own, then serevenerik is like adding a cherry on top. I think it's very delicious and adorable and we need more of it (and poly ships in the dq fandom in general <3)
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Halfsilks at Ryskinder release party, 05.05.23
dq agency & Jungle World present:
RYSKINDER (releaseparty) + HALFSILKS + SAEKO KILLY05.05.2023 || Urban Spree
Einlass 20:00 Uhr
VVK: 12,00 €
Tickets: https://link.dice.fm/S1047fbb59ab
Ryskinder (Berlin/Jerusalem/Tokyo, Baby Satan Records)Melting together Jerusalem and Tokyo , Ryskinder channel their raging souls into immersive Hip-Hop groove made out of samples, surf guitars and Hebrew rap while sprinklering a hefty amount of punk attitude on top. Ryskinder shows are wild, unpredictable, dancy and wicked.
With percussionist Miho Shimomura´s (Jaguar No Me) expressive drumming, spacy vocals and Asaf Eden´s ground breaking sampler work, Ryskinder incorporates a multiverse of influences from The Fall to Beasty Boys.
Having extensively toured the Middle East and Europe,including as support for Mac DeMarco, Dirty Beaches and Psychic Ills, Ryskinder has performed over 400 live shows, most recently at Fusion Festival, Berlin’s Synästhesie and Hamburg’s Off the Radar. The upcoming album “Omets Homless” (eng. Homeless Courage) is expected later in 2023. ---
Halfsilks (Berlin, Kitchen Leg Records)Berlin based trio HALFSILKS, with members from Point no Point, Gym Tonic and Matching Outfits, will take you on a trip to share their vast musical influences from 60s girl groups to post-punk. They write synth-driven, angular pop songs about horses, outdated technologies and female role-models while being pro-dancing and anti-macho.---
Saeko Killy (Berlin/Tokyo, Chill Mountain Records)Sakko Killy completes the lineup as an opening act. She's a Berlin-based DJ, vocalist, and producer. She has been active in the Tokyo scene as a DJ. After moving to Berlin in 2018 Saeko found herself in the orb of Club Sameheads, where she made herself known as a DJ and live performer. After releasing her first EP "Dancing Pikapika" with the label Chill Mountain from Osaka in 2021, followed a Jam session during the pandemic lockdown, resulting in the eleven titles collected together for the album 'Morphing Polaroids' produced by Brussels DJ and selector soFa elsewhere. The LP is a contemporary Leftfield Club sound, effortlessly combining elements of Dub, Post-Punk and Kraut with electronic Beats.
There will also be a DJ set by Baby Satan.
Funded by Musikfonds e.V. by means of the Federal Government Commissioner for Culture and the Media.
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