#ep: ephemeral

[bananagreste]

cheese cat and sunshine prince 45/? → gremlin

#miraculous ladybug #mledit #miraculousedit #adrien agreste #plagg #mine #ep: ephemere #project: cheese

[distant-screaming]

Thinking about how Sand fits into the theme of ephemerality that's being discussed - how the entirety of episode 5 is centered around Sand's sentiment of 'everyone has the same 24 hours in a day - Ray is my 25th'. We're given a look into Sand's life - how he's constantly moving, constantly working, how Sand lives very differently compared to the others. The overarching theme with the other characters seems to be living without consequences, while Sand here is living with nothing but consequences. He's working to pay off his mother's debt, to fund his future, to keep himself financially stable - all things rooted in the idea of planning and eventual outcomes. All 24 hours of his day go into working and earning money.

However, the 'extra hour' he assigns to Ray has none of this. Instead, as we see in this episode's not-date, Ray Hour is all about spending money, about living without consequences (going to a performance, getting high and having sex on the balcony) - about living ephemerally. For Sand, Ray seems to function as a way to let go of control. The boundaries he sets are easily broken by Ray and his pout, and Sand gets swept up in whatever it is Ray is considering at the moment - which yet again links back to ephemerality and the permanence of these boundaries.

It's a very interesting role Sand has of being a contrast to the main friend group while also still embodying the big theme of ephemerality - and having that be because of Ray. Something is bound to give out, to crash and burn, because this isn't how Sand has been living.

Also, side note, out of the three main couple sandray is the only one that never brings up or incorporates photos (and there's been discussions of photography and permanence going around too).

#screaming crying throwing up about sand actually #this is a post-ep word vomit I'll probably rewrite it later at some point #ofts #ofts spoilers #only friends the series #ofts sand #ephemerality squad #distant screaming screams into the void

[ranchthoughts]

moments of ephemerality/permanence/YOLO/photography/control/hypocrisy etc. etc. in Only Friends ep. 4

There was a LOT of talk about various themes over the past three weeks, and last week especially, in this corner of Tumblr.

A quick review of where we've been so far:

Post Episode 1

Post Ep. 1 thoughts on ephemerality (@waitmyturtles)

Post Episode 2

Thoughts on ephemerality, permanence, YOLO, and photography post Ep. 2 (original by @ranchthoughts, additions on photography by @chickenstrangers and @lurkingshan)

Thoughts on control (@elizabethsebestianhedgehog)

Post Episode 3

Post Ep. 3 thoughts on plum wine, hypocrisy, and the demise of ships (@waitmyturtles)

Where we are headed post Ep. 3 (original by @ranchthoughts, additions on surveillance and voyeurism by @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, and @slayerkitty)

Photography and audio/visual in the series as of Ep. 3 (added in a reblog by @ranchthoughts)

Moments of ephemerality/YOLO/permanence in Ep. 3 (original by @ranchthoughts, additions on Yo, voyeurism, and permanence by @lurkingshan , @waitmyturtles, @twig-tea, and @imminentinertia)

Post Ep. 3 thoughts on control, consequences, and shipping (original by @waitmyturtles, addition on the ephemerality of control by @ranchthoughts)

Let's talk about trust and control (original by @slayerkitty, with additions by @lurkingshan and @distant-screaming)

Boston as photographer and voyeur (@lurkingshan)

Visual effects in the MV and BTS footage (original by @slayerkitty, additions on costuming by @distant-screaming)

Now I will dive into my various thoughts and musings based on episode 4 of Only Friends.

but first - something from another ep (I am not sure which one):

Spotted by @khaotunq! (screenshot courtesy of them too):

Ray's jacket says "Is your life worth something?" An especially poignant sentiment given the beginning of today's episode, where we saw how deep Ray's feelings of being a burden run. This ties into the themes we've been exploring around ephemerality (life is short), and YOLO (you only live once, so live wildly and completely) and the associated lack of forethought and consequences. This gang of characters live fast and hard, without thinking about how their actions affect themselves or others. Due to their wealth (and youth) they haven't really had to confront the consequences of their actions yet or take accountability for them - @waitmyturtles wondered if this was a theme the show would look into. Living so recklessly, as if their life doesn't matter... believing they are a burden on others and therefore worth less... treating others as disposable/playthings in their quest for control and satisfaction... "is your [their/our] life worth something?" is a recurring question on this show.

ok now to dive into episode 4 proper:

photography and permanence tied together again: Top set up a photobooth in his [family's] hotel, thus ensuring the logo will stick in their houses for a long time as people don't throw out photos. Photos are souvenirs, they are memories, they are important, we don't throw them out, they are physical objects we keep.

We've already seen a case of someone not throwing out photobooth photos, and the consequences of that with Nick finding some of Boston and Top's photobooth photos and that kickstarting his unhinged P.I. arc. Second time taking photos in a photobooth comes up in this show (and once again it's Top involved - ?).

Sand once again wearing his You Only Live Once bag (I mean, we can expect to see it a lot. Sand is poor. He's only got the one bag.). In this scene he is (reluctantly) giving Ray another chance after he left him in the car the night before. Sand can see the red flags and almost inevitable end of his mixing with Ray... but those puppy dog eyes draw him in every time. Ah well. You only live once, right?

Control and Boundaries

I have been thinking more and more about control and specifically boundaries this week (in no small part due to @respectthepetty's post about Boston and boundaries). Boundaries can be permanent and steadfast and impermeable, or temporary and malleable and weak (here we go with ephemerality or lack there of yet again).

Setting boundaries this week:

Mew telling Ray they can't continue to be friends if Ray continues harbouring feelings for him

Top telling Boston to stay away from him

Nick telling Top to stay away from Boston

Mew saying he will have sex with Top if he quits drugs, Mew making it clear there will be no penetrative sex

Sand asserting to Ray he doesn't appreciate having everything paid for all the time

Mew asking for complete honesty from Top and promising complete honesty in return (sharing the details of his relationship with Ray)

Boston doesn't want intimate photos taken of himself

Crossing boundaries this week:

Ray continually texting and then eventually going to find Sand (and interrupting his rideshare) when he doesn't answer, Ray generally not taking Sand's no for an answer, Ray constantly trying to pay for things for Sand (paying the driver, offering to pay for the guitar)

Ray kissing Mew when he is asleep

Boston pushing into the elevator to corner Top

Mew conceding ground on his no sex rule with Top, Top demanding a (sexual) reward in exchange for giving up drugs

further fall out from Nick recording Boston and Top having sex in the car (he's now showing the recording to Sand)

Mew asking for complete honesty from Top, but Top not telling Mew about sleeping with Boston

Further assorted thoughts

Boston, voyeurism, photography, control, permanency/records

Boston refused to have a photo taken of himself. He can document others in vulnerable situations, and actively seeks out photos of these moments as (physical) souvenirs to keep, but no one can document him in these situations (unequal balance of power there). We have seen Boston use these permanently recorded moments to get his way (showing Top the photo of Mew and Ray kissing to sow doubt in his mind and get Top to sleep with him), and who knows how else he has used/will use the photos in his collection to serve his own ends.

Boston doesn't want intimate photos circulating because his dad is running to be a political representative and that could harm his campaign ... anyone else getting the sense that the existence/creation of intimate photos of Boston is going to become real relevant real soon? We've already seen the physicality and permanence of photographs (the photobooth photos of Top and Boston, the phone photos of Ray and Mew) come back to advance the plot and cause emotional strife...

Boston has already lost control of this situation/had this boundary crossed, though he doesn't know it yet, because Nick recorded Boston having sex with Top in the car. Based on what we've seen in the trailers and teasers around Nick and Boston, I think it is fair to expect further recording of Boston (and probably without his consent), and this time with visuals. Boston the voyeur, the documenter is having it turned around on himself.

Losing control

I mused last week about the ephemerality of control, and wondered if control would become more permanent/stable as we bring more permanent "evidence" into the mix (e.g., Boston's photos of Ray and Mew, Nick's recording of Boston and Top). This episode we got mostly an erosion of control again, though I remain interested to see where permanence of "evidence" = permanence of control or perhaps a permanence of consequences (especially given the above Chekhov's gun of a sort re: Boston not wanting intimate photos of himself - what permanent/serious consequences will this have for Boston and his father's campaign?).

Mew conceding his no sex rule with Top -> Mew has been trying to control Top through access to sex, trying to see how long he can hold his attention while dangling the promise of "sex eventually" like a carrot on a string. We saw that control slipping last episode and now this episode, Top asks for a reward for quitting drugs, clearly angling for something sexual, and Mew concedes. This is not to say that I think Mew was coerced or forced to have sex with Top, he chose to offer that, but I think it shows how much Mew's control is slipping and how he feels that. He feels like he needs to give something up, a concession, to keep Top around (to "win" this competition), so he offers sex and bends his previous rule.

Nick confronting Top and Top immediately gaining upper hand -> Nick calls Top to his apartment to warn him off Boston, but Nick doesn't realize that Top thoroughly does not want Boston and also immediately reveals his hand of how desperate he is for Boston's attention and care. Top asks Nick if this is blackmail (for money) and Nick says he doesn't want money, he wants Top to stay away from Boston. Top immediately understands the situation and reads Nick for it. Nick has lost control of the conversation; now it is Top who is lecturing Nick on staying away from Boston and Nick protesting he knows what he is doing.

Top rejecting Boston again, this time more firmly -> last week Boston showed Top the photo he took of Mew and Ray kissing and that seeded enough uncertainty in Top's mind he slept with Boston. This episode, Boston tries to leverage that control over Top again to get another repeat and Top firmly shuts him down. Boston is losing/has lost control over Top.

Public vs. private

Something else I've been noting is the continual presence of public, private, and public vs. private. @wen-kexing-apologist wrote about how the character of Boston hearkens back to the queer history of public sex and cruising. Other people noted characters hooking up in cars (Ray and Sand, Boston and Top), and in a photobooth (Boston and Top) - both public spaces. Other instances of intimacy have happened behind closed doors, in private (Boston and Boston's Hookup aka Drake [though was that a camera in Drake's room?], Boston and Nick, Ray and Sand, Mew and Top.

However, some moments the participants thought were private (or, as private as sex in a car parked outside can be) were not - Nick recorded Top and Boston having sex, Boston recorded Ray and Mew kissing. Boston's sexy photos of himself on his own phone were used by Nick as masturbation material. The private became public. This fits with the conversations we've been having around surveillance (cameras at the party, everyone having a phone in their pocket nowadays, etc.) and the lack of privacy in our digital age.

Next week, Boston and Nick walk in on Sand and Ray hooking up - they interrupt a private moment. Boston took photos of a private moment with Nick to keep - but will these photos remain private? With the Chekhov's gun of "Boston doesn't want intimate photos of himself" looming, will Boston's sex life remain private, or will photos and recording of him go public?

Comparisons

I've been thinking a lot over the last 4 weeks about comparisons, and how much this group compare themselves to each other. I don't really have any coherent thoughts more that that but I thought I would point it out. Boston compares himself often to Mew (always holding himself and his way of doing things as superior), especially when talking to Top; Boston compares Nick to Top (one is "cute" and "lovely" and the other is "hot" and "top tier"); Mew compares himself to Boston (more subtly - but there is definitely something "contra-Boston" there in how Mew thinks of sex, his relationship to sex, and how to wield sex as power); Ray compares himself to the others in the friend group (he is a "burden"); Ray compares himself to Top (Top is the first one to make Mew's heart flutter, Top is the one Mew has chosen); Nick compares himself to Top (lamenting that he feels like "nothing" compared to Top).

something about control (placing other people into boxes/making assumptions/limiting them to who you think they are)? something about instability of the self/self-esteem (comparing yourself to others constantly, perhaps as a side effect of being young, social media, etc.)?

There's an unformed thought here too about Ray and his crushes on people who "save" him (thinking of this post by @thatgirl4815). The idea of Ray being more into the saving/the kindness than the person themselves, of projecting his own ideas of who they are (saviour, hero, etc.) and what their actions mean (romantic declarations, etc.) vs. seeing them as a complete person in their own right...

tagging the ephemerality squad in (so pleased this list grows every time): @chickenstrangers, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @distant-screaming, @lurkingshan, @slayerkitty, @twig-tea, @waitmyturtles

#ofts #ofts meta #only friends the series #ephemerality squad #ranch thoughts #I didn't think I had that many thoughts on this ep but... somehow all this happened #long post

[tomatoland]

Only Friends as a morality drama, groupthink & media literacy

I can't find the clip now, but Off was on GMMTV Live House and asked if people were watching Only Friends. And he then made a comment saying it's like a morality drama. And I really like that he said that because yes, Only Friends is making us think about what we would do in these situations, but also try to understand why do these characters or people in general behave the way they do.

I don't get the moral comparisons between the characters. Because if your barometer for a person is just that they are just better than another person, your bar is LOW? Or this couple is better than the other? Because in real life, is your barometer for a relationship just that it's better than someone else's relationship? Does your own romantic partner need to be the one who is deemed the most popular choice? Or do your own life decisions have to be what others would do in your situation?

Different choices for different people 👏 And who has a right to judge you for your life decisions? They don't know why or how you came to that decision.

I used to be really black and white about cheating in real life, but now I don't know, real life is FAR more complicated and grey. And we actually still don't know if Mew considered it cheating. He's still never outright says it. He always says "what you did to me," so it's debatable.

But accountability is a big theme in the show. There might be a reason why you behave the way you do, but it does not excuse your actions, you still have to take responsibility for it. Literally all the characters have to pay the piper/take accountability for what they do... except a certain someone who shall not be named.

In fandom as well as life, it is extremely easy to surround yourself with only opinions that validate your own. I am actually really against this kind of surreal groupthink/hive mentality thing happening in this fandom.

And I just want anyone coming across this post to know it's okay to not share the same opinion. Do not think that just because an opinion is popular that it's right.

I always for representing the minority opinion. Representation ALWAYS. I think society as a whole is better when different people share their different POVs. If the opinions on this site about OF were more fair and not so quick to romanticize some characters or villainize others, I probably would have not started posting opinions and just come on Tumblr to reblog some gifsets to be honest.

I've seen people say "someone told me this or that about these actors" or "from what I've seen about what people said about Mew on reddit, he is a master manipulator" and "the people I follow said" some even in tags on my own posts and I'm like "you realize what you just said/admitted to, right??"

Somebody TOLD you what to think and that's why you think that way. I will be honest, I would be embarrassed to say that out loud. And it's okay if you didn't realize you were doing it. (I didn't always myself. I've just had a lot of trips around the sun to figure out that groupthink should always be challenged.)

But if you recognize yourself doing this, start to ask "who is presenting this information? What is their bias? What is their motive? Are you being told what to think? Be really wary of people who make big statements without support.

I am upfront about my bias, you will see it right away from my blog, but I am more interested in the art because to romanticize some characters or villainize others just because you have a CP preference is just a NO for me.

Everyone gets judged fairly by the same measuring stick 👏

Only Friends is art created by MANY. Not just what the characters say and the acting on the screen. The world was constructed by Jojo and Ninew, Den, Best, filming, lighting, costuming, set design, etc.

Who is this character? How have they been characterized? What do they know? What don't they know? What could be motivating them to behave this way?

What is creator's intent? This is Thai media made for a Thai audience. While we have access to OF because it's on Youtube, we are not the original intended audience.

What Western or International perspective could we have that affects why we view things differently than the characters do or the Thai audience would? This is such a silly example, but I was and am still kind of triggered by it. In the episode 5 scene of TopMew at dinner, Mew got flack for how he eats. And I just want you to know that dining etiquette is not standardized around the world. When my dad first immigrated, his coworkers also gave him flack about this and he still fucking remembers the story 30 years later, so yeah actually I still feel strongly about this. Anyway, the Thai reactors only thought that Mew looked classy/expensive because he knows how to swirl a wine glass.

Is the reason you think this because the show is telling you to think that by how they film the scenes, music, etc? I always said that TopMew's lack of romantic suspense in the early episodes didn't make sense because all these characters exist in the same universe. They are written, filmed, and directed by the same people. And a lingering close-up on hands with accompanying romantic music is NOT acting, that's filming and art direction.

What personal perspectives or worldviews do we bring to our approach to media, etc, etc? The list goes on.

I actually didn't know what this is called until now but I've seen people mention media literacy and looked it up just now. Turns out this is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is there a take-away? Err, don't be a sheep. Decide for yourself what you think. And don't discredit art created by a whole ton of people just because you only care about certain actors.

#this one is long so it��s under a read more #i wrote it last friday before ep 9 aired #also have seen ephemerality and i still dont know what that is #ofts #only friends the series #topmew #mew witsarut #top tanin #forcebook

[lurkingteapot]

because apparently I like to torture myself, here's my attempt at understanding the conversation Chaan has in Chinese right at the beginning of ep 1:

"Hello? Mr Chen? " "They've gone to your shop again." (1) "No problem." "I'll take care of it tonight." "But this time, I'll probably have to raise the price a bit."

(1) My Mandarin isn't good enough to decipher exactly what Chaan is saying here, but I'm fairly sure there's a question in the Chinese -- @ephemeral-hiraeth kindly pointed out that it’s 他们又去你的店吗 -- that isn't in the Thai translation on screen, so … /shrug

#laws of attraction #laws of attraction the series #laws of attraction 2023 #กฎแห่งรักดึงดูด #laws of attraction ep 1 #translation #my nonsense #q #ephemeral-hiraeth #can't tag you properly for some reason -- tag wants to add an s but that's a different acc …

[onlyhurtforaminute]

EPHEMERAL-FONT OF CONSUMPTION

#EPHEMERAL #DEATH METAL #HEAVY METAL #METAL #2022 EP #Youtube

[kindaorangey]

obviously with the 3-ish identity reveals we've had with memory wipes/timeline manipulation, there's quite a lot of pressure on the Actual Reveal to be monumentally satisfying and honestly i think they got it pretty perfect in ephemeral

#ml #so they should basically do something like that again. is what im sayin #god... ephemeral is such a good ep. damn. #thunder rambles

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: BMA Shares Meditative "Beyond The Hope"

New Audio: BMA Shares Meditative "Beyond The Hope" @HeyGroover @romainpalmieri @DorianPerron

Bruno Margiotta is a French-born, Canadian-based multi-instrumentalist, composer and creative mastermind behind the post rock instrumental project BMA. After the release of his self-produced debut EP, 2020’s Asynchronous, Margiotta world with local and international studios to produce his full-length debut, Ephemeral. Released earlier this year, Ephemeral draws from post-rock, classical music…

View On WordPress

#Beyond The Hope #BMA #BMA Asynchronous EP #BMA Beyond The Hope #BMA Ephemeral #instrumental #New Audio #New Single #post rock #Single Review #Single Review: Beyond The Hope #Single Review: BMA Beyond The Hope

[genshin-impact-updates]

Genshin Impact EP - Breath of All-Cleansing Rain

A damp scent drifts on the evening breeze, like that of an ephemeral drizzle.

The slightest hint of a ripple betrayed upon the surface, yet calm the water remains, reflecting the unfathomable sky above.

#genshin impact #genshin impact updates #genshin impact news #official #genshin impact ost #neuvillette #back to our regularly scheduled programming #Youtube

[twig-tea]

Only Friends Ep 6 Scene By Scene

This is the episode we've all been waiting for. It's the first episode where everyone is objectively a bit of an asshole; it's the first episode where truths are finally talked about, it's the episode that starts to answer two of my most burning questions (what is Boston's home life like, and where is April?), and interestingly it's the first episode we get without any obvious narrative framing or character perspective.

It was so interesting, as the clear pivot point of the story, that there was no obvious framework this ep, but this entire episode was parallels and callbacks and hypocrisy/relying on viewer knowledge to understand all of the subcurrents. I have so many thoughts that I'm talking about each scene so this post is LONG.

First scene: Top and Mew by the pool. Not enough people are giving Force and Book credit for keeping the awkward tension between these two even though they are having textbook cute moments, because these characters still don't trust one another and this scene establishes that before the rest of the episode blows them up: Mew says he's not sure they'll be together in 3 months, explicitly calling out the fragility of their relationship; and Top gets defensive at Mew insinuating he doesn't need a relationship and doesn't trust that they'll stay together, and straight-up lies that he's stopped doing drugs and having casual sex [though I do wonder how much he believes it's a lie because he's clearly cut back from his usual, and when someone does something all the time changing to doing it rarely does feel like not a big deal in comparison] and asks what else about himself he needs to change for Mew [all, by the way, while Mew is preparing to undergo permanent surgery to his eyes for Top]. We also get this called back later in the ep when Mew tells Ray to quit drugs and Ray says sure, and I have to wonder how many times that exchange has happened and if it's partly why Mew is suspicious of Top's "easy" change. Also interesting that Mew seems to be one of the only people in this friend group who has two parents (his moms) that care about him and who also have a good relationship with each other. Mew's point that he doesn't need fulfillment from a relationship because he gets it from his friends and family is interesting; especially given his friends. [Sidenote: This is basically how I feel about my own life so I am curious how other people read this assertion.] The ephemeral change of sleeping around and doing drugs vs the physical and permanent change of Lasik is really standing out to me this scene as significant.

Second scene: the meeting with the professor. It's interesting that even though they're presenting, they're the ones sitting down. Cheum says they can keep personal and professional lives separate and Ray turns to stare directly at Boston. I love that this is even before anyone else knew that the Boston/Top hookup was at the soft launch party for the hostel. Also noting Cheum's catty comment about even Boston helping; this girl is so much messier than people give her credit for [just saw @lurkingshan 's breakdown of this episode as I continue to update this post and yessssss call her out!!]

Third scene: noodles. This is I think the same place they planned the soft launch party. I'm seeing parallels with everyone pressuring Boston to date Nick to everyone pressuring Mew to sleep with Top in the first ep. Also, interesting that Cheum promises to behave this time [and then definitely doesn't]. We've all (or at least I have) been wondering where April is and now we get some explanation. I do wish they'd established this as more of a pattern for Cheum to complain like this, but I'll take it as setup now. The way Ray and his seething is invisible in this scene has been covered beautifully here [by @poetry-protest-pornography and @respectthepetty ].

Fourth scene: Ton and Nick wakeboarding. The parallels here to Top/Mew are twofold: we get the similar sitting by the water parallel from earlier this episode, in which there is a clear undercurrent of hypocrisy between what the characters are saying and what the audience knows about them (that conversation with/about Gap was so good, with the tension in Nick knowing he still has that audio clip and still hasn't deleted it as Boston berates Gap for the same thing), and then there is the contrasting parallel to when Mew took Top wakeboarding for the first time with the rest of his friend group. In contrast, Ton took Nick here alone, clearly still trying to play this game of not dating Nick but doing things with him that they would do if they were dating, that send extremely mixed signals. This scene again underscores the fragility of the relationship Boston and Nick have and how easily it can be broken.

Fifth scene: The hospital. Sand and his mom, in which we see how used he is to taking care of someone who is a bit of a mess [affectionate], and how he can still only be somewhat honest with his mom about his relationship with Ray (more than we'd expect between a 20something and their mom, but less than we the audience know is the truth--they're just having fun but it's not what he wants). And then the confrontation between Top and Sand. Top characterizes his relationship with Mew as "I get what I want" and I have to wonder how much of that is posturing to annoy Sand and how much of it is honesty. I did also think that maybe he meant it when he said "I hope you get what you want soon" because he wants Ray's attention away from Mew.

Sixth scene [start of part 2]: Sand intentionally drops and stomps on his phone to have an excuse to borrow Nick's so he can steal the sex audio. This is the first time that Sand consciously does something shitty to one of his friends, and I am living for it--let good characters make bad decisions! The parallel here is of course to Boston getting his phone fixed by Nick and having Nick steal his photo and adding one of his own from the beginning of the series; also a small one of Sand using his mom as an excuse to lie to his friend, the way Top used his dad as an excuse to lie to Mew the night he slept with Boston [not a comparison Sand would like, which is why I enjoy it]. I love that we see Nick get worried at the end of this scene because he's a phone tech and of course would know to check what Sand did with his phone.

Seventh scene: Top taking care of Mew after Lasik; this is maybe the least tense scene between Mew and Top, and the fact that Mew can barely see and is drugged for it is on point. I do also like that Top isn't great at caretaking but he is trying. This scene reminds me of Mew taking care of Ray and vice versa, especially the latter when Ray kisses Mew while he's sleeping and how that's contrasted with Top (Mew's boyfriend) only kissing Mew's forehead when he realizes he's asleep. The sketches that Top does are also really interesting, and how they hit Mew later is even more fascinating. The conversation they have in which Mew establishes that this is all happening right after they've had penetrative sex for the first time (so not long after ep 5) and makes clear he's still nervous about his performance and then credits Boston for their relationship, setting everything up for later, is just so good, it underscores the importance Mew has been putting on his virginity and sets the betrayal up to hit harder. I love how Top pushes back on giving Ton credit for their relationship here because it makes him so uncomfortable.

Eighth scene: Sand calls Ray out to play the stolen clip for him. This feels like a parallel to Boston calling Top out to play the video of Mew and Ray kissing. Other folks [ @xceanlynx and @respectthepetty linked here] have pointed out that in this scene Sand is choosing his hatred of Top over his potential relationship with Ray here, which I don't disagree with, but also what occurred to me here because of this parallel is the similarity in that both Sand and Boston seem to be motivated by their jealousy of Mew in these scenes too. I also just can't stop thinking about how wild it is that everyone recognizes Top and Ton by their sex noises alone.

Ninth scene: Boston and Nick with Boston's dad. We finally get some background for Boston and he clarifies he's always been planning to bail on Thailand to go to New York. It's interesting that it's made explicit that if Boston fails he's more likely to go to New York sooner, especially after the warning their teacher gave about the hostel project and how we know it's Boston's drama that is threatening to blow that project up. Boston's conversation with his dad is a contrast with Sand and his mom earlier; while Sand sleeping around was not judged by his mom, she did warn him about his feelings, while Boston's dad seemed to celebrate his callousness. The way Boston continues to ask Nick to not be dramatic while stirring up constant drama in his own friend group, and his insistence that his relationship with Nick is special but not a relationship is really something. Also that this convo takes place in Boston's dark room, which gets called out later as one of his regular hookup locations, and where Nick first got suspicious about Boston and Top, is interesting, especially in the context of permanent physical photos vs digital recordings that you can't necessarily erase vs how gossamer thin their relationship security is, and how tied up in voyeurism all of these things are.

Tenth scene [start of part 3]: Ray confronts Boston at the hostel (blatantly running contrast to "we can keep personal and professional lives separate"). We see Boston nervous here when first being confronted before he decides what approach to take with Ray to keep his mouth shut (not for the first time; we saw him nervous in the showers when he first tried to get Top to have sex). Also, I just have to say, respect to Ray for going to Boston first to confirm it's true before deciding what to do with the clip.

Eleventh scene: the birthday party at Yo's bar. It's poetic that the start and end of the Mew/Top relationship is because of conversations at Yolo. Once again, the spectre of failing school [because of the project] comes up in Mew's birthday wish. Cheum immediately breaks her promise to be "good" and teases Boston about Nick. She also says "everyone is dating someone now", apparently forgetting entirely about Ray. This entire conversation was so passive aggressive and @lurkingshan 's post (linked above) breaks it down really well. I am fascinated by Mew's reaction to Top's gift; I hope we get more insight into that because he seemed legitimately shaken, and it didn't seem to be positive. Also highlighting that once again Boston is credited for their relationship (this time by Cheum), and both Boston and Top seem deeply uncomfortable with it but Top doesn't argue it this time.

Twelfth scene: Ray and Mew in the bathroom. I already mentioned Ray's promise to quit and how it parallels Top "quitting for Mew" at the start of the ep; Mew is expressing care for Ray here but in a way that is distant and frankly a bit callous (to say "you'll be dead by thirty" to a guy who was/is suicidal is not the smartest approach even if it isn't intentionally referencing that). He insists that Ray not drive home but doesn't take his keys or stay with him to make sure he does actually get a ride, which is admittedly a big ask on your own birthday but just indicates the intentional boundaries Mew tries to set with Ray about not caring too much, I think. I don't think this makes him a terrible person, but it makes him not a great friend. This is in contrast to Sand, who stayed with Ray and made sure he would not drive before he even knew him, and followed him at the end of this ep to make sure he would not hurt himself or someone else even after Ray pushed him away.

Cursed thirteenth scene: Ray blows everything up [ shoutout to @liyazaki for this perfect post]. First, the same song is playing as the silent disco, calling back how Top's fate was sealed before Mew and Top had even gotten very far. And then once again, Sand's band is interrupted so that someone can take the mic, just as Top did when he asked out Mew for the first time. Mew calls out Cheum and April for their less than perfect relationship despite what it seems on the surface and more specifically calls out Cheum for being a bit of an asshole actually, mentions that Boston is a gossip about his hookups (which is not actually something we've seen evidence of, and I'm interested in how true it is), tells Nick he's not special, tries to explain to Mew that he (Ray) is not who Boston thinks he is and didn't share the clip with Mew to get him for himself [only knowable on rewatch of course]. Cheum finally admits that she fully knew Ray was in love with Mew this whole time and has just been ignoring it/pretending not to [vindication!!] and accuses Mew of exactly what he was trying to deny. Top finally acts his nastiest self in front of Mew, putting his arm around Mew's shoulder and claiming ownership for the second time this party in Ray's face (first time was when Yo joked that she wanted to go out with Mew now that the glasses were gone). Sand can't get Ray to stop, and Ray tries to shame Sand needing money by implying he should have sex with Ray for money. Ray goes after Boston, and Mew can't get Ray to shut up either so he hits him (even knowing why Ray is acting like this; and that's my favourite part of this entire episode, that Mew has decided he wants his moment to confront Top his way, once again using sex to control his feelings--this time to make him humiliated rather than fall in love--and he's willing to punch his friend to get his moment, and I am obsessed).

Fourteen: Only Sand goes after Ray, once again the only one actively trying to stop him from killing himself or someone else on the road. Sand snaps and yells at Ray to pay attention to him, Ray's "what are we to each other?" comes off as desperate rather than accusing, which I love--the question of what they are to one another has come up so many times and neither is willing to admit they want to be more first. Ray again calls Sand a whore this time explicitly, and drives off. Sand follows Ray. This is a beautiful parallel to the first time Sand took Ray home. Like every other couple scene this episode, the tenuousness of their connection is highlighted and even threatened in this scene, but Sand doubles down.

Fifteen: April and Cheum finally have a scene. They reconcile, but (like all of the couples) it feels tenuous. April asks that Cheum not lie to her just to avoid conflict, and Cheum promises to do that--but I am fully expecting this to not last. Since we know Cheum knew Ray was in love with Mew this whole time, it's confirmed that her lying or just glossing over reality to keep things easy is her personality not just something she does with her girlfriend's films.

Sixteen: the scene that we've all been waiting for. This was such a good fake-out, and it's the start of Mew's unhinged era he promised us all at the start of Top's pursuit of Mew. The way he set the stage, prepared a script, and as best I can figure out, TIMED A REMIX OF THE SEX AUDIO TO HIS SEDUCTION is absolutely sending me. Being more sexually confident, initiating sex and holding Top down, and making sure he could see Top's face when he realized what was happening, whew boy what a set-up. I am thinking about how much of that was him wanting Top to feel tricked and violated the way he felt tricked and violated. I also love Mew jumping to the conclusion that Boston and Top planned this and were laughing at him because that's a) indicative of something Mew would do, clearly; b) totally something people think when they're embarrassed, they assume everyone else knows and is laughing at them; c) not totally wrong because Boston did make fun of Mew's lack of experience to Top (shoutout to the YouTube comments for the reminder).

And that last sentence of the episode deserves its own paragraph because it just so perfectly encapsulates exactly where Mew went wrong in his thinking from the start: "I wasn't good enough for you to love only me"... As though other people's behaviour is controlled by your goodness and earned through your own behaviour. As though love and sex are value judgments. As though the world is fair. As though goodness is an objective judgment that allows you to control the people around you. This thinking is so harmful and so pervasive. It's really a sign of Mew's desperate need to be in control (in this version of events, even Top having sex with Boston is actually Mew's doing, which means in theory Mew could prevent it from happening again if he betters himself). And it confirms what we all suspected Mew's been trying to do this whole time: Manipulate Top into changing into a "better person" [read: monogamous and drug-free] through his own behaviour.

I also noticed that almost every camera shot in this entire episode was close faces and there was a lot of hand-held camera work. Intimacy, instability, lack of clarity, all of these things were coming through the way it was shot.

Ahdhsh tumblr keeps eating parts of this so I'm going to stop. But whew this episode just gave and gave!!

@ranchthoughts @slayerkitty @wen-kexing-apologist @neuroticbookworm @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @distant-screaming @chickenstrangers @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Tagging the ephemerality squad because if any of you pick up on any of these threads and parallels and tie them into your meta I want to know about it! Tumblr is showing me only like half of what people are posting these days and unfollowing people without my consent so pls tag me

#only friends the series #only friends meta #only friends #ofts meta #ofts #ephemerality squad #bl meta #typed so i can stop thinking it #going to also use my relevant tags #let a main character be hot in glasses for the whole show you cowards!!! #no character should be perfect this is my ultimate agenda

[bananagreste]

ladynoir, oh, ladynoir ↳ day 334

#miraculous ladybug #mledit #miraculousedit #ladynoir #ladybug #chat noir #mine #ep: ephemere #project: ladynoir

[blorbingqls]

"We accept the love we think we deserve" - seeing this quote in terms of love and control as subjects in Only Friends

With @tomatoland 's brilliant post on TopMew on the above quote here , i think that with 7 eps in, we have understood that love and control are very well linked with ephemerality as a subject.

As i have previously linked epheremality with control here, i would like to talk about how love also makes us lose control with the impermanence of life. This is a long overdue post for 4 eps now.

linking the ephemerality squad here so that you can also share your opinions on this @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @ranchthoughts (anyone else i am missing, pls tag, i really appreciate it)

TopMew

As Tomato (@tomatoland i hope you're okay with that nickname; i really tried to find a name on your blog for you) has referred in their post, Mew left his bubble of insecurities and got his heart broken. Completely legible and correct on his point. Top really loves Mew but now Mew has no reason to believe him anymore. With the play in their power dynamics, both of them loved each other and lost control of the way they wanted the relationship. Yes, if Top and Mew has stuck to their original plans - just reaching to the point of ideality and sex, then, this relationship should have ended after they got their goals. I dont think that sex was a goal for Mew as much as it was for Top, but, we can say it was in the secondary.

But as they fell in love, they, especially Top understood how the love he received from Mew is so much more than he thought he deserves (taking into account his trauma and past experiences). So , even though Mew is projecting his hurt by doing things that literally are asshole-ish as fuck on his accord, Top is willing to let go all of that since even he knows he is in the wrong this time and he is willing to lose all control he has on his life - of fame, money and insecurities in order to have Mew back. Top is willing to be as obsessive as Mew said he would be in a relationship in order to get and accept the love he think he deserves from Mew, even if it won't be good.

But, I also feel, the concept of love as explored in the series so far, not just runs along with TopMew because of the books, but also with all the remaining couples in the show. I won't discuss P'Yo and her partner, CheumApril in this segment, because I want more angles on this from the coming episodes in order to validate my point. But, I'll discuss this point with our other views on the couples: RayMew, TopBoston, SandRay, and BostonNick.

RayMew

Now, RayMew is a pairing that is being enforced on the viewers for the past 3 episodes now and the last episode shows a pretty good view of how as characters, Mew and Ray view each other.

For Ray, his love is unconditional for Mew because it correlates with that fact that Mew was the only reason who made him stay in this world - who made him believe that he deserves the love from his friends, the love which he didn't get from his parents or any potential partners. But potential partners were never in the scene because Mew was Ray's emergency contact. Their relationship runs deep and however much you may think, even if Ray thinks Mew's love for him could be more as a friend, he also believes that because as he is so damn shitty and a fucking burden to society, he can't ask for more from Mew for the sake of their friendship and his esteem. He keeps entertaining the idea of them as partners several times, but, until ep 7, Mew has never entertained the idea that his love for Ray will be any worthy of more than a friend. Because, Mew wants to continue making the boundary and keep the control, according to me.

Now, as Mew has entertained the idea, i am interested how it pans out in the next episode (not very promising tho). just linking this out here because its so fucking interesting.

TopBoston

We will mainly take here Boston's viewpoint since Top gave up on this since the very beginning and became firm with it post ep 3. He gives no flying fucks about the possiblity of it. Top considers Boston to be a one night stand and a one night stand only.

Boston, as has mentioned so many times, considers Top to be top tier; the person who gives him something as close to love because as an Machiavellian prince (refer here) Boston considers Top to be the only worthy competitor in his reign. And he really doesn't care if he hurt others feeling. Mind you, Boston has been the most truthful to himself, maybe not to others. And as a prince, his love speaks volume through keeping them in their reign because ultimately Boston wants power and control in his arena. That's the fucking politics of it. And Top is the only worthy contender who can damage his reign. Hence, he wants the top tier power as much as possible, and only Top can give him that. Him fucking off to America, that can easily happen through Top, because he is a very well known hotel chain owner/manager. So, Boston wants his loves, because he very well thinks he deserves it and he accepts it as much as he can. But, he also knows that for him, he can't make this love into a weakness, because that will be out of his control.

Boston however, as Mew so incredibly pointed out, is gullible. Ray couldn't see through him, but, MEW FUCKING DID. That is why even though Boston didn't consider Mew as his competitor, he was fucking jealous of him because Mew got Top and was chosen over eventually by Top. Mew has the power that Boston didn't think he had, till now. And tbh, Mew is now winning the game, despite his insecurities with his relationship with Top.

THE WAR HAS BEGUN, MY FRIENDS.

SandRay

God, I have so many feeling for these babies. Where to start? Okay so, you know in second episode, Sand built that boundary with Ray regarding friends with benefits? Well, it has backfired on him. COMPLETELY.

As ep 8 preview says, I love how Sand realised the fact that they were never friends to begin with, for even to have made that boundary to make sense. Sand is a pathetic little man, as so many of you have pointed out, but, why is he the way he is?

His incredible nature to be so caring of others around him has made him feel like its his responsibility to take care of everything. His mother, his business, his money and job, his style and even his fucking roommate. Now, Sand is so emotionally attached to this damsel in distress, pathetic burden to society (affectionate) Ray, that even before they became friends, he made Ray his responsibility. Sand has no right to ask for love from Ray, because they are not friends, lest friends with benefits to ask for any care towards himself. But he selfishly asks, for the first time.

Because, as a person who keeps on taking care of others endlessly, it is harder for them to ask for the care and love they expect and deserve from whom they love while keeping their self esteem intact. And for Ray to completely shut him down at that time, and him still following Ray while he was drunk, makes him so much real because you feel responsible for that person. You are their emergency staff, even if they don't consider you to be.

While Ray comes from another perspective itself. He initially wanted to know Sand more as a person, because he is a person who wanted to explore the life beyond what has been given to him. He is a spoilt brat, and when he realised that he can't buy Sand's love, he explored it with him.

But because I think Ray believes that Sand will always be for him, even when he does asshole-ish behaviour (because thats where everyone leaves) he has taken Sand for granted. The backup option. Anything goes wrong with his ideal relationship, he can always go running back to Sand, because Sand has become his addiction.

Apart from drugs and alcohol, Mew and Sand are the only people he can keep coming back to. For Mew, it is only at a cost. At some conditions, only for something personal. While maybe Ray wants explore that possibility with Sand, but he is afraid. He is afraid that Sand will go away. just as Mew did. A person who can only consider him a friend and nothing more. Even if he wants to explore that possibility with both of them, loving them at the same time, he can't make people his priority, because he doesn't know how to do that. Nor does he think he's worthy of it. So, he accepts whatever he thinks he deserves off Sand's love and care.

I am interested to see how it pans out for these idiots once his relationship with Mew falls out. I am concerned for Ray so much. Give him access to therapy and rehab soon pls. Sand and Ray's father I think are going in that direction, with this speculation by @prapaiwife.

BostonNick

Now, our final pair has been the most interesting couple in this show so far. Why do I say that?

Well, for Nick, Boston is one of the top-tier gays. As pointed out by Boston, he likes bad guys. And lets be honest, Boston, most dishonest, cunning bastard out there. So, Nick believes that he will be that gay who lands the top tier dick and fix this problem. Right?

Wrong. Nick very well knows this won't happen. Still he keeps hoping for more as Boston doesn't know how to not be a hypocrite as a prince. He keeps giving some here and there false hope through his actions, not words which makes Nick believe he's special, but he's not. He takes whatever love he thinks Boston gives him, despite him not being his number one, despite Boston cheats on him over and over again. He just wants whatever of love as actions that Boston can give to him because that proves wrong all of his low self esteem. So he accepts whatever he thinks he deserves because he can't ask for more in a bed friend relationship. With Boston's guard so up and his will to leave the country, Nick knows he can't do anything but try to make him stay. Even if that's a 99% chance of not happening. He tries because he doesn't want Boston to hate him. He only wants him to love him. Because for him, thats enough.

The sadness keeps on piling up for these outsider, hard working roommates, doesn't it?

While, for Boston, he is nothing but a rebound from the angst of not getting Top. He wants a serious relationship, and maybe, he does look for it in Nick, maybe not, but he doesn't love Nick. He doesn't love Top either. For Boston, Nick is a toy he wanted to play with.

Because he cares about his reign, his reputation. And, Nick realised that. Hence, Mew contacted him and Nick gave that information to Mew. They will bring Boston down together because Nick somewhere believes he can get him back.

But Nick babygirl, he doesn't love you bub. He doesn't. And, it hurts so much. Because Boston keeps on taking from you, whatever he deserves. And that is your care for him, for granted. He is a leech bub. He is.

Now, how does it all link to ephemerality and control?

Well, love itself is impermanent. It doesn't stay.

The world knows this and still we chase it. And at an age as our characters, we chase love and freedom like anything. In order to gain control. We take up jobs, more courses to learn, experiment with love and relationships, with people because the time is ticking and people say now is the age. We break hearts and get it broken.

As P'Jojo says "This show is Hurt People Hurt People", tell me who hasn't been hurt by love, by control and by living at its time? And also by missing out each of these experiences because you were lonely with your own life and burdens?

We accept the hate and love the life gives us, because this is what we think we deserve out of this. And tbh, these feelings, are never permanent. They keep changing with time, and that's the only thing thats permanent.

Change is the only thing that remains permanent.

#only friends the series #ofts #only friends #only friends meta #love and control and ephemerality: coexisting together #ephemerality squad #we accept the love we think we deserve #thank you so much to all our amazing meta analysers of ofts so far #if i missed anyone out #apologies #sandray #topmew #bostonick #bostontop #raymew #this is a long post in so long #this post brought out the analyser in me #IT TOOK ME 4 HOURS TO WRITE THIS #the formulation has been brewing since 3 weeks now tho #jace's stray thoughts into the tumblr void

[ranchthoughts]

Ephemerality Squad Thoughts on OF - a Round-Up

this will be updated periodically! Just needed to get it all in one place for easier referencing

Post Episode 1

Post Ep. 1 thoughts on ephemerality (@waitmyturtles)

Post Episode 2

Thoughts on ephemerality, permanence, YOLO, and photography post Ep. 2 (original by @ranchthoughts, additions on photography by @chickenstrangers and @lurkingshan)

Thoughts on control (@elizabethsebestianhedgehog)

Post Episode 3

Post Ep. 3 thoughts on plum wine, hypocrisy, and the demise of ships (@waitmyturtles)

Where we are headed post Ep. 3 (original by @ranchthoughts, additions on surveillance and voyeurism by @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, and @slayerkitty)

Photography and audio/visual in the series as of Ep. 3 (added in a reblog by @ranchthoughts)

Moments of ephemerality/YOLO/permanence in Ep. 3 (original by @ranchthoughts, additions on Yo, voyeurism, and permanence by @lurkingshan , @waitmyturtles, @twig-tea, and @imminentinertia)

Post Ep. 3 thoughts on control, consequences, and shipping (original by @waitmyturtles, addition on the ephemerality of control by @ranchthoughts)

Let's talk about trust and control (original by @slayerkitty, with additions by @lurkingshan and @distant-screaming)

Boston as photographer and voyeur (@lurkingshan)

Visual effects in the MV and BTS footage (original by @slayerkitty, additions on costuming by @distant-screaming)

Post Episode 4

Moments of ephemerality/YOLO/permance/photography/voyeurism/control/hypocrisy/etc. etc. in Ep. 4 (@ranchthoughts)

Thoughts on Sand's "Are you mine? Or just mine tonight?" Arctic Monkeys poster (original by @colourme-feral, addition on the album by @respectthepetty)

Photography and voyeurism as a theme in past Jojo shows (3 Will Be Free, The Warp Effect, NLMG) (@colourme-feral)

Post Ep. 4 thoughts on living in the past, intergenerational trauma, moving towards reckoning withe the past and present, the stigma of labels (original by @waitmyturtles, addition on the lingering stigma of labelling by @ranchthoughts)

Narrative frameworks in Only Friends (ongoing series by @slayerkitty)

#ephemerality squad #ofts #ofts meta #ofts meta round-up

[slpytired]

actually i feel like i don’t see a lot of people talking about them so allow me to briefly infodump for a moment here:

kinoko teikoku was a Japanese shoegaze band that was active from 2007 - 2019. they released 5 albums and a few smaller releases and had somewhat of a cult following in Japan. i first discovered them through their album Fake World Wonderland, and explored the rest of their work from there, going in rough chronological order of release.

their first two albums, Uzu ni Naru and eureka, as well as their Long Goodbye EP, had a strong shoegaze sound, with very classic shoegaze elements such as distorted and reverbed guitar and lots of noise. however one thing i found set them apart from a lot of other shoegaze bands was how much space they left for main vocalist Chiaki Sato’s voice to shine through. the atmosphere they created in each song, with Sato’s haunting, ephemeral voice over minimal instrumentals, was enrapturing. i was drawn in by that atmosphere, and the way they could tear it down at the drop of a hat, going into a breakneck instrumental section like in Yoru ga Aketara, or a noise-filled breakdown in Ashikubi. every song was perfectly crafted to do something a little different, to create that atmosphere they thrived in every time.

their next album, Fake World Wonderland, sounded very different from their previous releases. the style had become a little more pop-oriented, sacrificing some of the shoegaze elements for a more generic j-rock-influenced sound, such as in Telepathy/Overdrive. though this was the first record of theirs i heard, i have to say that i enjoyed their earlier releases more.

the album after that, Neko to Allergy, saw the return of a more traditional Kinoko Teikoku sound. while it was still quite different from their original 2 albums, it was a nice in between of their new pop-driven style and their old contemplative shoegaze sound. this album would be what i'd use to introduce newcomers to shoegaze, as it's not too heavily influenced as to turn new listeners away, while still retaining kinoko teikoku's signature sound.

their fifth album, Ai no Yukue, was a much more minimal, indie pop styled entry to their discography. personally i didn't like it very much on first listen, but after going over it again, i find things that i didn't appreciate before. kinoko teikoku's style is still there, with Chiaki Sato's vocals shining through in many of the songs on this record, creating that atmosphere that i would say defines their sound. of course, i still think their older, heavier sound was better, but such is the way of bands that change over time.

their final album, Time Lapse, feels like a culmination of many of their previous sounds. there are songs that seem reminiscent of the style of the fifth album, such as Lapse, and songs with the j-rock influences from FWW, such as Chuosen and Thanatos. the distorted guitar in Tightrope seems to call back to Long Goodbye (both the EP and the title track). i can't help but feel that this album is a nice closer for Kinoko Teikoku, showcasing the various sounds they've explored over the years. it is a little mishmashed together, and the overall cohesion of the album is also here and there, but i think it really grows on you after a couple of listens.

in may 2019, kinoko teikoku announced the suspension of their activities as a band, as their bassist had to leave for familial reasons, and the rest of the band did not want to continue without him.

kinoko teikoku is undoubtedly one of my favourite shoegaze bands of all time and my gateway into shoegaze as a whole. i will never shut up about them forever and i hope the band members are doing well wherever they are. crossing my fingers that they'll reunite some day so i can fly to japan to catch them live because holy shit their live shows look incredible.

if you're interested to check out this band and you don't know anything about shoegaze, start with their later albums like Neko to Allergy or Ai no Yukue and work your way up the chronological order. if you're acquainted with shoegaze already, i highly recommend starting from the first album and following order of release.

here are some other japanese shoegaze bands that i discovered through Kinoko Teikoku:

yuragi

Uchu Nekoko

my dead girlfriend

Cruyff In The Bedroom

Oeil

Bug

Plastic Girl In Closet

ok bye stream Kinoko Teikoku shoegaze forever

#slpytalk

[clara-maybe-ontheroad]

Little musings on Gap (Drake), Only Friends ep 1 & 7

It's probably been said by someone already, but I'm appreciating the fact that the superposition between Boston sleeping with Gap in the first episode and Nick jerking off to his phone was such an announcement of what was to come.

-> The voyeurism of Nick going through Boston's phone for his sexual pleasure while (we now know) Boston was being filmed against his consent for Gap's sexual pleasure.

-> The revelation that this isn't just a one off and that Gap actually has a career with filming guys he has sex with and putting it on the Internet as porn.

Which begs the question though : was any of that first interaction between Boston and Gap real ? In episode 1, Gap says he has a boyfriend but that boyfriend lets him play with strangers sometimes. It's entirely possible that it's true, but in episode 7 we also learn that Gap has put so many sex tapes online that he isn't surprised that someone like Mew might recognize him from "his work".

(as an aside, I've talked in previous posts about how much "work" and "services" seem to almost exclusively refer to sex in this show, the trend continues)

Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if Gap lied to Boston in that first encounter, because everybody in this show and in real life lies, and also because he probably saw what would make him more exciting to Boston : being taken, unavailable, technically belonging to someone else yet wanting him. We all know that's Boston's type, and maybe Gap could tell. Gap was putting the ground work to see if Boston was daring enough and would make a good subject for his videos.

Edit : turns out I was misremembering and potential threesome guy wasn't Gap, so no lying on Gap's part there. Still though, the rest of the lying stands since Boston didn't know about the camera ; and maybe Gap justifies it to himself thinking that since he has a presence online, if people approach him it's their responsibility to know ? Or not his problem

Does Gap know who is going to put on the Internet and who he's going to keep for himself ? I don't know, but it seems like he didn't actually release the video with Boston, he tried to use the fact that he had it to get more sex out of him.

The show treats it as a bit of a bleep in Mew's revenge scheme, but we do see how many folders Gap has on his computer of sex tapes. A lot.

Btw love how P'Jojo has to insert himself into everything haha, after the Twitter account now the sex tape folder

How many of these people knew they were being filmed ? How many didn't ? How many that didn't had their faces hidden in the shadow ? The example of Boston Vs Mew seems to suggest that when they do know, Gap's partners often prefer to have their face hidden in the shadows, while someone like Boston who is in the dark (ah) about what's happening will show their face on camera unknowingly.

Would that make those videos more valuable to Gap ? Collecting faces of men who didn't consent ?

The show does treat what Gap did as something had, but it's mostly there so Mew can have its revenge moment of threatening to Boston but keeping the moral high ground, showing he's better than everyone.

But the show is telling us everyone's moral standards are in the gutter. No one is truly shocked at Gap's behaviours, and it doesn't seem like there's going to be any consequences to that. It's just going to be a bump on the road, because there are shitty people everywhere like that.

And as said in other posts, the low level to high key shittiness of absolutely everyone in this show is what's making it gold.

(this is not high degree meta so I don't know if it's worthy of the ephemerality squad but I'd love to hear more thoughts on the Gap situation or to be pointed to more posts already written about him so tagging @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @ranchthoughts @twig-tea @slayerkitty @distant-screaming @neuroticbookworm @chickenstrangers @thatgirl4815 @wen-kexing-apologist )

#only friends the series #ofts meta #ofts gap

[thatgirl4815]

Freedom & Corruption, Ep 8

Inspired by @ranchthoughts’ post discussing boundaries and crossing those boundaries, I was thinking about the ways these characters interpret the idea of “freedom." That intersection creates an interesting contrast for the core characters.

Ray, Mew, and Alcohol

For Top and Mew, the idea of freedom is especially interesting given their differences in lifestyle. Top has maintained a level of sexual promiscuity—freedom, if you will—that Mew has rejected for much of his adult life. The same goes for drug habits. Mew, then, comes across as a character so deeply entrenched in his own values that his idea of “freedom” varies significantly from other characters. 

What’s interesting is that in his current state of bitterness, Mew seems to crave this idea of “freedom” that he’s witnessed in other characters, most notably Ray. But I think Mew knows intrinsically that Ray drinking himself into oblivion only gives the appearance of freedom—it is far from it. If anything, I’d argue Ray’s habits are the greatest sign of his lack of freedom; he’s bound to alcohol and drugs. They’re restricting his freedom, yet Mew desires Ray’s lifestyle to let go. That’s the terrible irony of drugs and alcohol—what starts as freedom from pain can bind one to it permanently; a temporary freedom becomes a permanent dependence. Mew knows this, and he desires the temporary escape, even as he knows that Ray himself has gone far beyond the temporary. I don’t think Mew is scared of forming that same dependency because he’s confident in his own control in a way that Ray never has been.

Mew has something of a superiority complex, at least compared to Ray, and it’s informing their current dynamic just like their old one. Mew is giving in to Ray’s habits, but he hasn’t fallen to Ray’s level yet—not truly. Top and Cheum fear the same thing happening to Mew that happened to Ray, when that freedom becomes destructive (more on that below).

Ray and Sand

If Ray is bound to this corruptive lifestyle, then his freedom is reasonably limited. He couldn’t control what happened to his mother anymore than he can control what is happening to him (or so he believes...I think the belief that he has no control does more damage than his actual lack of control). So where does he have control? Where can he find freedom? Sand.

“When I’m with you, I’m so damn happy.”

^This happiness is the temporary relief Ray seeks in alcohol, even as it is corrupting him. But Sand doesn’t have any of those same destructive side effects. Sand is a healthy escape. Sand, in many ways, represents freedom from the pain Ray is facing. Ray wants to establish control over the freedom Sand offers, because control over Sand is ultimately much more attainable than control over his other form of escape: drugs/alcohol. 

Top and Cheum

@waitmyturtles addresses this in excellent detail here, but I wanted to include Top and Cheum’s perspectives on freedom versus corruption here. They immediately see Mew’s behavior as the latter, which I find especially ironic for Top, given that he drinks and does drugs himself. If it was someone else in the group, like Boston or even Cheum, I think we would not see this same reaction. Mew has expressed such disapproval of bingedrinking and drug use that the other characters immediately react negatively to his interest in it. 

I don’t want to say they’re invalid for showing concern, because it is concerning to see a friend with such rigid values reject those values completely; however, the way they go about it is encroaching on Mew’s freedoms. Inviting Top to Mew’s party was a low blow from Cheum, and I still can’t fathom why she thought that was a good idea. 

I'm still pretty new to the squad, but I touched on the concept of ephemerality and permanence, so I’m going to tag the ephemerality squad here! :) @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @chickenstrangers @lurkingshan @twig-tea @distant-screaming @clara-maybe-ontheroad @neuroticbookworm @elizabethsebestianhedgehog @waitmyturtles

#only friends the series #only friends #ofts #sandray #raysand #raymew #topmew #only friends meta #only friends episode 8