#every days a repeat of the last

[darkmothsy]

I am so sick of waking up at this point

#every days a repeat of the last #im so tired #unmotivated #nothing helps #hella depressed #hopeless #personal #laments #i feel like shit #i need a total life makeover #and to disappear without a trace

[crazymecjc]

shuake week day 2 - new game plus

plus, bonus!

#shuake week 2023 #oof my art i guess #persona 5 #goro akechi #akira kurusu #shuake #this is soooooooo incredibly silly goofy #there was this one post floating around on Twitter abt how akira had a matching pair of gloves when he did ng+ #and I went “ok but make it bigger #and like it’s silly yes but it’s also the tragedy of repeating the same events with the hope that they’ll turn out differently #until you’re physically overwhelmed with the reminder that no matter what you do you cannot change the fate of the person you love #idk I’m Crazy abt them dude #the angst spawned out of nowhere tbh she was a last minute addition #also this whole thing is kinda sketchy and rough but like I work full time during the summer #and I think I’d explode if I was dropping a fully rendered piece every day #so here we are #still a fun silly time regardless I hope!! #if all goes well I’ll be back tomorrow with another :))

[museaway]

Some things I've enjoyed in the past month! If I react positively to something, I generally like it whether or not it has flaws. I'll just mention what I appreciate!

read

The Housekeeper and the Professor, Yoko Ogawa. I adore this author. This book was gentle and a little heartbreaking, and really lovely. I cried over the love reveal.

The Secret Talker, Geling Yan. I won't spoil it, but while the premise is kind of absurd, the book was a wild ride. I couldn't put it down. (check warnings on this one)

my storygraph

watched

The Best Offer, 2013, starring Geoffrey Rush. A famed auctioneer becomes entangled with a young heiress who won't leave her house. The twist in this hurts. I think about it a lot.

Safe, 1995, directed by Todd Haynes. Brilliant lead performance by Julienne Moore. Disturbing look at how society treats disease. The 90s sexism rang loudly. I've admired Todd since Velvet Goldmine and don't know how I missed this one.

Ammonite, 2020, starring Kate Winslet in a fantastic performance. Watched via Kanopy (ty, library!). Melancholy love story between two women and exactly my speed. A+ on the intimacy but has an ambiguous ending. Loosely based on paleontologist Mary Anning, who is also featured in Tracy Chevalier's novel Remarkable Creatures (probably my favorite of hers).

on repeat

Jade by X JAPAN. This song goes hard. The rock opening shifts into a power ballad. I didn't think I'd heard of this band until last year, only to discover that one of my college J-rock favorites (Crucify My Love) is also theirs. Small world etc.

Aftermath by Muse. I've been looping this song for a couple of months. Something about it just goes right for my heart. Haven't been able to get enough of Neutron Star Collision either.

discovered

Google Calendar has integrated Tasks, and you can even put them in tidy columns! At the top of the calendar page, just click the little checkbox to toggle between calendar and tasks view.

#read + watched + on repeat #I think I'll do this every month #I looked for Tasks last year so I'm not sure when they did this #but the calendar integration is certainly new for me #they integrated it into Gmail and Docs a while ago which was fantastic -- changed my pro workflow #but I've been unable to get to Tasks itself via desktop until a few days ago #absolutely thrilled

[deancaskiss]

me agreeing to go into work on my day off to assist with a spay: what a great learning experience and an opportunity to show my boss im willing to put in the extra effort because I love surgery

me right now at midnight knowing I have to get up in 6 hours on my day off: why did I sign myself up for this when I could’ve been sleeping in and enjoying my day off after an intense week so far????

#me repeating to myself: I love my job I love my job I love my job #of course I am excited to get to be in the OR tomorrow helping with the big dog spay #but oh boy have the last few days been intense #last week I was seeing like 3-5 patients a day #this week I’ve been seeing 8-9 patients per day #which has been a massive shift in workload and stress and anxiety #don’t get me wrong I’m loving every day and enjoying learning and being a doctor #and I’ve loved my patients and meeting clients and people have being saying such nice things about me #but oh boy. I need a day off to reset and relax #begging crying screaming for the weekend to just let my poor brain melt into a puddle #dr sexy’s veterinarian journey #baz’s babbling

[licorishh]

Actually self-titled is an unimaginably underrated album and I cannot fathom why no one ever talks about it.

"Implict Demand for Proof," "Trapdoor," "A Car, a Torch, a Death," "Taxi Cab," "Before You Start Your Day," "Isle of Flightless Birds," COME ON.

The other songs on this album also go hard, but these in particular just. MMMMSKDJFHKJGFHSKGJ.

#twenty one pilots #i have had these specific songs on repeat all day for the last like week help me #these plus ode to sleep holding on to you trees and truce #tbh self-titled and vessel are both constantly overshadowed by other three albums #i know regional at best is a thing but it's not really an album since it doesn't technically exist anymore #like don't get me wrong blurryface trench and SAI literally never miss but self-titled and vessel are so underrated #i might be the only one who thinks but honestly i love every song they've ever released they just nail it every time #it's probably just because they fit my music and lyrical tastes so so well but i really can't think of a single track of theirs i don't lik #i am of the opinion that before you start your day is one of the prettiest songs ever #that “la la la” bit in the chorus is so good ugh #tyler has a very unique singing style but he's so good dude

[miodiodavinci]

good news: we have water again ! ! ! a pipe had burst somewhere up the street so the city came out and fixed it today (we still need to run the tap to get rid of the air and muddy water but. it's something.)

bad news: i had to go to my partner's to do laundry and shower so i missed out on work time today (bad) (anxiety inducing) (i don't need this right now)

worst news: i have a killer headache and my throat is suspiciously stiff 👁 👁

#please please please for the love of god ; ; ; #i am begging and pleading do Not let this be a repeat of last semester ; ; ; ; #this is exactly how i felt last time i got sick with covid and i Cannot afford another late start ; ; ; ; #i am. suddenly stuck by The Unwelcome Guest last week cryptically asking me when you're supposed to test for covid #and then saying 'hmm. okay. good to know.' and then refusing to elaborate #i swear. to god if she got me sick i'm #i. can't even say. i'm suddenly struck by such helpless grief thinking about how little i can do to keep her from being in my life ; ; ; ; #we literally Evicted her she all but threatened my older sibling into letting her visit weekly to take care of her potted plants #and then in october last year she was like 'my roommate has covid and i don't have money for a hotel i have nowhere to go :'(' #so the agreement was she could stay for One Week #and basically she has been. on and off our couch since then. #like. only going back to her apartment for 1 to 3 days at a time before spending another two weeks in our house. #with new excuses every time. #and literally Every Time I Say No And Put My Foot Down older sibling begs on her behalf because she's busy hounding and guilt-tripping them #so like. what can i even do if it turns out she infected me with covid because she didn't care to disclose that she was feeling sick #(and decided to come over anyway) #i'm just. overwhelmed ; ; ; #i feel like crying ; ; ; #i'm already busy pre-mourning the loss of my mental health and down time with my internship starting back next week #i don't need to worry about whether or not i'm going to be bed ridden for 2 weeks #and suffer Even More lasting lung and brain and blood and fatigue issues on top of that ; ; ; ; #a a a a a i just. feel like crying a lot ; ; ; ; #i'm already behind ; ; ; #i should ; ; ; try to work more tonight before the inevitability of it all hits me tomorrow ; ; ; ; ;

[papa-evershed]

Rob James-Collier || The Ritual

#rob james collier #robert james collier #rob james-collier #robert james-collier #the ritual #hutch #hutch hutchbert #mine #spooky boy for a spooky day #🎃 HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃 #i have already giffed almost every frame of him in this movie #i had to get creative with this set so it wouldn't be all repeats #first time i've ever giffed a man that's pissed himself but here we are #i'm not mad about it his arms look good 🧐 #that last gif 👀 okay but seriously he has a beautiful nose

[simcardiac-arrested]

everyday i wake up and it’s 2021

#actually history really has been repeating itself if im honest. like #random stomach issue flare up that lasts for a few months ✅ #getting extremely obsessed with a game that i used to be semi-normal about and imprinting on some angstguy for a month or two straight ✅ #making fancharacters and developing an entire storyline about them while making a series of drawings comics and animatics and ending up #caring about the fancharacters more than the canon characters of the game you were originally insane about✅ #actually just drawing like a madman every single day for several months on end✅ #doing crazy artfight shit that i haven’t done before✅ #completing an october drawing challenge (WELL. I’M TRYING) #and so many more things. i really am just back in2021 it seems #crammerposting

[jynersq]

+

#last night we were both a little sleepy. #a little wine-drunk. #i asked him to play me something on the guitar while i leaned on his shoulder. #he said he only knows a few songs. i said that's fine #whatever you want. #first song: like real people do by hozier #which has a very tender place in my heart because it's the last song i sang for a real performance (2015). #so i still know all the words. #and he didn't know that! #it just happened to be the song. #anyway it was 1230am. anyway my jacket smells like his apartment. #anyway early this morning i said i thought romance was built of small acts of devotion. like how every morning my dad makes my mom coffee #because she sleeps worse and takes longer to wake up and he wants her to not have to worry about another thing in the morning. #when she comes downstairs every day he has it ready for her to take to work. #he makes it separately because he drinks an entirely different coffee than she does. but he makes it because he wants her to have it. #it's one of many small repeated acts of love they do for each other. they're still in love with each other after 30 years. #anyway my boyfriend is a notorious instant coffee fiend. #it's easy and he likes the flavor. #but when we got up this morning he pulled out a bag of coffee beans and a hand-grinder and said: would you like me to make you coffee?

[dilfsuzanneyk]

GO HERE

#every day i wake up and i look in the mirror and i repeat the last part of this song like a daily affirmation #god i wish i could see ratm live. but alas #vex rambles #Youtube

[futureghost97]

>:( see tags

#day 4 of having an illegally short break ♥️ #I hate my fucking job #I get a half hour break IF they don’t take it away today #coworker Becca has an hour and a half break #coworker Todd only works 4 hours total today which means he has 3.5 hours off #how on earth is this equitable #all at once I am dealing with: hormone imbalances & a miserably painful period & a cold & intense stress bc of my upcoming medical leave #oh and my short-term disability claim has yet to be processed (it’s been almost 3 weeks) sooooooo #no clue if I’m gonna be properly compensated while I’m out #even though I did everything right and stayed on top of everything #I feel like I’m drowning and all I wanna do is sleep but I have no more PTO so #12 days til my medical leave (including today): will I make it? #my stuff #all I want to be is happy #and I can feel this job making me a more miserable and unpleasant person with every passing day #I do not want a repeat of last year #but it feels like it’s inevitable 🙃

[benechillax]

okay I’ve officially hit terminal burnout for real

#Picked up covid at work after being on call overnight all last week 👌 #Can’t take time off work because I’m solely responsible for my workload as a consultant and I’ll just get behind so I have to work from hom #Too mentally and physically tired to do work for more than an hour or two at a time #Look at my emails and it’s just never ending requests to do things ASAP #Have a panic attack #Rinse and repeat every day for the last week #I’m going to be like that CVS pharmacist who keeled over of a heart attack on the job because she couldn’t leave

[rottengurlz]

Everyone at my work keeps telling me the weather is only going to get worse today can u guys stop talking I still have to drive home in 7 hours

#it’s going to be ice snow ALL DAY #I can’t do another repeat of last year 😭 #we had solid ice on every surface #my coworker had to drag me up the little incline that’s in front of our office because I couldn’t even walk up that

[sparklesmaug]

Thinking about non-verbal expressions of love and getting emotional

#i was occasionally my grandmas caretaker during her at home hospice and she no longer had the ability to say more than a few words #the last time i saw her i had gotten her ready for the day and had to leave for work and let her know my grandpa would be back #to take care of her soon and i gave her a hug as i was getting ready to go and she just grabbed my hand and squeezed it really tightly #and looked into my eyes as she did it and i could feel how much she loved me even though she could no longer say it #and then she waited for my grandpa to get home and passed peacefully once she got to see him #i just get emotional about it idk #when she had lost some of her speech but not all of it she kept telling me over the phone how much she loved me like just repeating it #and i didnt know i would never hear her say those words again as she lost more speech with every stroke she had #but that moment of holding my hand made me feel her love more intensely than words ever could

[hi-intrepid-heroes]

for the spotify ask! 32

32 what if i never get over you - lady a

send me a number and i'll tell you what spotify wrapped song it corresponds to!

#every once in awhile im like wow i remember this song #and then i have it on repeat for several days cause like. can i just say. #what if im trying. but then i close my eyes and im right back in that last goodbye. #shut up judith #wrapped

[flippedorbit]

hope my mom realizes she’s 90% of the reasons i want to die on a daily basis

#i literally have spent the last three nights AT THE VERY LEAST wanting to fucking kill myself. because every single day its the same shit. #i forget to do something small. she yells at me for it and never fucking apologizes. and rinse and repeat #like my fucking bad for forgetting to do the fucking ice because our stupid ass freezer doesn’t make it like every fridge we’ve had in my #lifetime. sorry that its so fucking inconvenient for you that i forget things that i’m used to not having to do because no one in the house #has ever fucking had to do those things because it was something a machine would do automatically because thats its fucking job. #my fucking bad i guess #suicide mention #suicide tw #sorry i literally have felt sick all fucking day and decided to take a nap so that maybe i’d fucking feel better