Since Kindergarten
Summary: Jaz and Michael slowly learn that maybe they shouldn’t be too harsh on Ashton for having a crush when they can’t even figure it out themselves.
A/N: Spin off/alternate storyline of @cxddlyash’s work Make You Mine
Word Count: 5.8k
And away, and away we go!
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“Club meeting after school. It’ll be on the announcements, but I know you never pay attention,” I tell Michael.
“I’m Vice President, Jaz. I know when my club meets,” the boy rolls his pretty green eyes.
“Our club,” I correct, patting his chest.
His eyes roll again. “Yeah, yeah. Catch ya later Madam President.” He gives me a mock salute before dashing down the hall to his class.
I laugh to myself as I walk into my science class, stalling as I spot a girl I’ve never seen before in my usual seat. “Uh… you’re in my seat,” I tell her, taking the desk directly to her left.
“Shit, I’m sorry…” the girl mumbles, grabbing her things.
I wave my hand for her to stay where she is. “I’m fucking with you. Mr. C doesn’t give two shits where we sit anyway. Something about encouraging our growing minds to make the right decisions for ourselves. I’m Jasmine, by the way. Everyone calls me Jaz, though.”
“Y/N,” she replies, her voice a little stronger as she relaxes back into the desk.
“So, where’d ya move from?”
“North Carolina.”
“Shit,” I nod approvingly. As if I knew fuckin’ anything about North Carolina… “So you’re probably used to the heat then?”
She laughs politely. “Yeah. It’s a lot dryer here though.”
“Yeah, that’s California for ya.”
“Aw, look at that!” a voice behind us cooed sadistically. “The old loser’s making friends with the new loser.”
“Well, that’s not a very nice way to talk about your friends, Rachel,” I deadpan, offering Rosie my award winning smile.
The girl with strawberry blonde hair that falls in perfect waves down her designer sweater scoffs. “Whatever. You would take in the strays, wouldn’t you?”
“Funny, we say the same thing about you dating Greg, Ruby,” I respond, continuing to butcher her’s and her tool of boyfriend’s names on purpose.
Rosie scoffs again, and I smirk at the little stamp of her foot. “At least I don’t sleep with all my friends. Or are you into girls? I can never tell when you hang out with those boys who’s fucking who.”
“You should ask George, I’m sure he knows. Run along now, Ruth. I heard today we’re gonna figure out why scientifically some girls peak in high school.”
“Ugh! You’re such a loser!”
“Sorry about that…” I apologize to Y/N, who has her eyes squeezed shut and is white knuckling her desk. “Just ignore her. It’s what everybody else does.”
“Not you,” she points out. “You stood up to her…”
I shrug my shoulders. “Nah, standing up to her would be slugging her right in her pretty lil face. I just like to remind her that she’s not the only one who can run their mouth. Anyway... North Carolina, huh?”
~~~
I spot my friends already hanging by the doorway of the cafeteria with their lunches. I mutter a quick thanks as I grab my lunch before making my way over to them. “Sup, losers?” I grin, balancing my tray in one hand so I can throw my other arm around Michael’s shoulder.
The boy laughs, before looping his own arm across my shoulders. “What’s the game plan for lunch?”
I shrug, carefully so as not to nudge off his arm or jostle us into spilling our lunches. “No idea. Guys?” I ask, looking over at our other friends.
Calum shrugs while Luke suggests, “Outside like always?”
“Works for me, I’m starving,” Michael complains.
“You’re always starving,” we all answer before heading for the doors to go outside. All but Ashton, who’s frowning and still frozen in place. “Ash?” I ask, getting the hazel-eyed boy’s attention. “You coming?”
He nods quickly before jogging to catch up with us. “So… did no one see what Rosie did to Y/N?” he asks as we all sit down at our usual table off in the shade.
I snap my head in his direction at the mention of Rosie. The things I would do to that girl and her snobby friends given half a chance. My eyes scan across the quad, locating the strawberry blonde bimbo with her posse and douche of a boyfriend, Grant. “What?! What did she do?!” I demand, feeling my hands curl into fists at my sides. I hated the way she thought she could just treat people like shit and get away with it because no one wanted to ruin their reputation by standing up to her. And since Y/N was still the new kid, that made her a fresh target for Rosie’s bullshit. It made my skin crawl just thinking about it. Yeah, the girl was shy, but she was sweet as could be, and one hell of a science partner. She deserved better than Rosie constantly fucking with her.
“She roughly pushed her into the lockers, claiming she was in the way,” Ashton quickly explains.
The disgust was clear in his tone, but there was an underlying sadness to it. I scoff and push back a few loose strands of my hair. “Of course she did. She never liked her.” I let out a sigh, remembering every faked “Whoops,” Rosie gave her in science class when she purposefully kicked our bags each time she walked by or dropped our papers so they didn’t get handed in with everyone else’s. God, that bitch was one move away from me blowing up her next science experiment.
“Who really cares?” Calum pipes up. “She keeps to herself. She’s kinda asking to be a target.”
I’m not sure when all this cliche shit went to my friend’s head, so I give him a good punch on the arm to remind him just who he’s friends with.
He groans, moving out of my reach, rubbing at his arm. “Fuck, Jaz! What the hell?!”
“Don’t be a fucking dick!” I snarl, feeling Michael’s hand cover my own as a silent plea not to beat Calum senseless. “Who cares if she keeps to herself? That doesn’t mean she should get picked on.” I roll my eyes at him. Honestly… Plus, was Calum really that dense that he couldn’t see that Ashton clearly had a thing for the new girl? Well… what better way to get Ashton to talk to her than by inviting her to sit with us?
Ashton’s eyes widen as I get up from the table, spotting the girl alone at a table on the outskirts of the quad. “Jaz, what are you doing?” It’s a hissed whisper laced with panic as he frantically waves me back over to them, eyes darting about trying to get help from the other guys.
I look over at him, a smirk on my lips. “I’m gonna bring her over here, duh.”
Y/N’s working on homework when I walk up to her, so I wait patiently for her to take notice of my presence, my hands clasping together in front of me. “Hey,” I smile brightly at her when she slowly lifts up her gaze.
“Hi… What’s going on?” Her fingers shake a little as she tucks a stand of hair behind her ear. Oh, she was like a kicked puppy… I’d like to give Rosie a good kick…
Deciding to just go for it, I reach for her bag. Her hand reaches out to stop mine, but I already have it in my hands. “C’mon,” I coax, nodding my head in the direction of my table. “I want you to come sit with me and my friends. I’ve got one that really wants to meet you.”
Her cheeks flush as she shakes her head. “Jaz… I- I appreciate the offer, but I’m fine right here.”
I sigh, but I’m not ready to give up so quickly. “Please?” I slightly beg. “Just for today?” When her hand grabs again for her bag, I hold my arm out of her reach. Great, hold her bag hostage, that’ll work…
The girl’s eyes dart back and forth between me and the chaos that is high schoolers vying for space despite being out-fuckin’-side. “You guys don’t wanna be seen with me,” she diverts, but I just shake my head. Her excuse is about as lame as my holding her schoolbag hostage. She lets out a sigh and I cheer internally. “F-fine, but just for today.”
I grin, handing her back her backpack. One battle at a time. I stop in front of my table, feeling her bump into me. She mutters a quick apology, but I don’t acknowledge it, instead choosing to start introducing her. “Y/N, these are my friends,” I begin, pointing towards Calum first. “This is Calum. You might know him from the soccer team.” She shakes her head at me, so I keep going. “This is Luke. He’s in the choir.” They exchange a small wave of hello while my hand finds Michael’s shoulder. “This is Michael. He and I created the video game club, and he’s currently still mad that I’m president.” I break off into a giggle, realizing I’m rambling the most about him.
Michael scoffs, moving his pastel purple hair out of his face, that I swear he only dyed purple because I dyed the tips of my own hair purple. Or had I dyed my hair to match him? “Of course you’re the president,” he tells me, sarcasm dripping off his words. “You’re a pretty girl in a club with a bunch of gamers.”
Did he just call me pretty on purpose? I give him a look, crossing my arms over my chest, deciding to keep the banter going with him to hopefully distract from the heat I feel in my cheeks. “Mhm, sure. Keep telling yourself that. It’s really because I’m a better gamer than you.”
Y/N smiles softly, taking everything in before her gaze flutters over to Ashton expectantly.
“And finally we have Ashton!” I grin, leaning in to whisper for just her to hear, “He’s the one that really wanted to meet you.”
I motion for her to sit down as I sit across from Michael. When she does, I turn my attention on the green-eyed boy across from me. Had calling me pretty just been to make his playful insult have a little more sting to it? Or had he really meant it? His nose scrunches up as he tosses a fry at me. “What’re you staring at me so hard for, weirdo?”
“Still trying to figure out how you think you’re the better gamer,” I fire back.
“What? You want me to prove it?”
The idea of playing videogames with Michael? How was I gonna pass up that offer? It wasn’t like I had gone out of my way to make a club just to make sure I had an excuse to be around him more or anything crazy like that… Okay, well I had… sort of. He’d been the one complaining that all our friends had their thing. And running the club together had meant we had been spending more time together which wasn’t bothering me in the slightest, considering I’d been crushing on the kid since we became friends in kindergarten. But, I didn’t want him to know that just yet. Or ever. “You’re on, Clifford.”
Whatever his response is gets cut off with a giggled "Oops! Making new friends I see?"
My attention shifts in time to see Y/N give a shake of her head, while scrambling to get up from the table. "N-No… I was just leaving," she stutters, beginning to walk away. She doesn’t make it far because Rosie sticks out her foot, sending Y/N crashing to the ground.
The quad erupts in laughter as a crowd gathers to watch Rosie’s newest torment. Yeah, laugh harder jackasses, cuz each one of you knows it coulda been you, I think bitterly, rising to my feet. "Hey, Rosie, how about you fuck off?" My voice is a growl.
My response is a snicker that makes me wanna give her a real reason to get a nose job. "Nice to see you sticking with the loser still, Jaz. Be careful. She might steal your man," she states while her eyes glance towards Michael. She gives Y/N one good last hard look of disgust before slinking off.
I let out a huff of breath, crossing my arms over my chest. "God, I fucking hate her…” I ignore Michael’s look of confusion, sitting back down and gesturing for her to do the same. “C'mon, Y/N, sit back down."
She shakes her head at my offer, taking a few steps back. "I told you, you guys wouldn't want to be seen with me," she mumbles before walking away.
“Y/N? Y/N!” I call out after her. I sigh in defeat, looking to find Rosie still laughing with her friends. “Hehehehe,” I mock under my breath flipping her off.
Michael grabs my wrist, lowering my arm. “Do you really need to give her a reason?” he asks.
“Oh, please… like she needs a reason.”
“Still. Don’t stoop to her level, Jaz.”
“You say stooping, I say leveling the playing field.”
Michael rolls his eyes, sighing. “Anyway…”
~~~
“Ha!” I laugh in victory. “Told ya I’m the better gamer,” I continue to gloat at Michael.
“That’s cuz I let you win.”
“Oh, yeah frickin’ right…” I roll my eyes. “You can say it Mikey. I won’t tell anybody. Go on. Say it. Say ‘Jaz, you’re the better gamer.’ Well? I’m waiting…”
“Jaz,” he starts.
“Yes?” I ask sweetly.
“You’re batshit crazy,” he grins.
I swat his arm. “Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don’t know.”
“You actually suck at videogames. I play with my controller inverted so you can win.”
I gasp at the confession, grabbing his controller and checking the settings he has on it. “You lil liar,” I laugh when his controller is set in a manner similar to mine.
His head tilts back as he laughs, his eyes crinkling in the corner. They’re soft when he pauses to take a breath, a crooked smile on his pink lips. “Nah, you’re actually pretty good. But, in my defense, I didn’t grow up with 3 older brothers. So all my gaming skills are self-taught.”
I scoff, jerking my thumb towards my bedroom door. “You think those idiots are helpful? Do you know me at all?”
“What kinda question is that? ‘Course I know ya,” he huffs.
“Mhm… sure…”
“What? Want me to prove it?”
I cross my hands behind my head. “Dazzle me,” I deadpan.
“Well…” he leans forward. “I happen to know that if I do what I’m about to do, there’s a fifty-fifty chance I get slapped.”
My breath catches in my throat. “A-and what are you about to do?”
His tongue wets his lips as he leans in even more. Before he can do what I think he’s about to do, my bedroom door bursts open. “Dinner!” the youngest of my older brothers, Ian, shouts. “And keep your door open when you have guests, Jaz,” he says with a smirk in Michael’s direction.
I stalk over to Ian. “Knocking is a thing, jackass. Try it sometime.” I push him in the chest so he staggers out of my doorway before slamming the door in his face. “So…” I say, turning back to Michael. “You staying for dinner?”
He grabs his backpack, slinging it over one shoulder. “Nah, told my parents I’d be home. I probably won’t be on later…” One of his hands rubs at the back of his neck. “Homework and shit, ya know… but see ya tomorrow?”
“Yeah, see ya...” I was going to kill Ian...
~~~
It was getting harder and harder to be around Michael. We hadn’t talked about what had almost happened in my bedroom, so every attempt at any other type of conversation felt awkward and forced. I hated it. I wanted my friend back. But I also wanted one of us to grow a pair and finish what we had started. And the more time that passed without either one of us bringing it up, the weirder our new limbo state became.
Right now, my only saving grace seemed to be that at least Ashton appeared to be in the same boat Michael and I were in. Only he didn’t have ten plus years of friendship with his crush.
“What are you staring at?" Michael asks Ashton while taking a bite of the pizza on his plate. Pizza sauce gathers in the corner of his mouth, and it takes all my instincts to not wipe it away. Michael’s gaze follows where Ashton’s is. "You're staring at her again?" It’s a stupid question. Of course Ashton’s been staring at Y/N. That’s all the boy does anymore. Problem was he needed to actually talk to her to accomplish anything. Wow… project much, Jaz?
Ashton snaps his head towards his friend, a blush forming on his cheeks. "What do you mean again?!" he asks and Michael gives him a look before glancing towards me. My heart flutters in my chest. I loved the way Michael would always start to say something, then look to me to finish it. Like we were a team. Which I supposed we were. But… ugh…. Teenage boys...
"What he means is that you stare at her a lot, which is okay! You like her, it's cute. But, it'd be more effective if you actually talked to her," I elaborate.
Ash scoffs softly. "I talk to her. We're friends," he states.
I raise an eyebrow. My fingers tap against the table, my eyes scanning over the paper he has covered up with his arms. "If you're just friends… what's this?" I ask.
Ashton’s answer is in the way he blushes. He picks up the paper as the rest of the boys glance at him. "It's nothing," Ashton mumbles and folds up the letter before stuffing it into his bag. "I've got a concert tomorrow night, so I'm gonna go practice."
"You think he'll have the balls to ask her out?" Michael asks me and I glances towards the lilac-haired teenager.
"I wouldn't talk, Mike," Luke mentions. Michael is quick to smack the blue-eyed boy’s arm, giving him a hard look.
My eyebrows furrow together as I look at my friends. Of course Michael would have told Luke what had happened. I avert my gaze, searching for Y/N. The girl hasn’t eaten lunch with us ever since that first time and I couldn’t exactly blame her after what Rosie had done. I frown when I don’t find her in her usual spot. “Whatever… I’m gonna go talk with Mr. C about things for the club. Make sure we have the right equipment for our kick off to spring break party.” I stand up quickly, grabbing my backpack. It’s a meeting the could definitely wait until after school considering I TA for Mr. C for my last period, but if I was gonna have to sit and listen to Michael deflect Luke’s offhand comment, I was gonna scream.
“Well, shit,” Michael wipes at his face, still managing to miss the pizza sauce in the corner. “I’ll come with.”
I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. I should’ve said I was returning a library book… “Well, c’mon then.”
“So…” he says, falling into pace with me.
“So?” I ask as both our hands reach for the door, his fingers wrapping around mine as we both pull the door open.
His green eyes shift around, almost like he’s checking to make sure we’re alone in the hallway, before landing on me. They hold that same trace of softness they had when he had almost kissed me nearly two months ago. I hold my breath, hoping against hope it’s gonna happen again and this time we won’t be interrupted. When he leans down, I stretch upwards on the tips of my toes. Our noses knock together before his lips find mine. It’s gentle and shy, but then there’s a fierceness that takes over. My hands travel across his shoulders and up his neck to tangle in his hair. His arms snake around my waist, one hand settling just above my ass, the other firmly between my shoulder blades. And holy shit… Michael Clifford is making out with me in the school’s hallway…
We both seem to realize that we could get caught at the same time, jumping apart from each other. “So…” he says again, his hand rubbing at his neck and ducking his head down and away from me.
“So…” I breathe, my heart racing in my chest.
“How are my chances of getting slapped now?”
“Depends. Did you mean that?” I point back and forth between our lips.
“Yeah.”
I nod. “Is it a one time thing?”
He chuckles. “God, I hope not.”
I smile, grabbing his chin to pull him towards me. “Good,” I whisper before pressing a kiss to his cheek.
~~~
“Sup, losers?” I grin, throwing my arm around Michael’s shoulder. “Videogames?”
“Soccer practice,” Calum says.
“Yeah, and Ash and I got that concert tomorrow,” Luke adds.
“Mikey?” I ask, looking up at the boy I’m half tangled up with.
“Videogames, huh?” he smirks, his eyes dancing.
“Why, you got a better idea?” I challenge, laughing when the guys go “Oooo!” suggestively. Yeah, if only they knew.
“Guess you’ll have to wait and see,” Michael whispers, using the small chance to place a swift kiss under my ear.
I giggle, an embarrassingly high-pitched girly one, clapping my hand over my mouth in shock. “Anyway!” I laugh, trying to quickly move on, until I hear a familiar scoff as my shoulder gets bumped. Ugh, Rosie… which means… I spot Y/N standing in front of her locker, looking dejected. Oh, that fuckin’ does it… “Y/N!” I call out, and start walking her way, trusting the boys will follow.
She glances up towards us, shutting her locker. I expect her to walk towards us, or at the very least wait. Instead, she turns and rushes for the door.
"Hey, hey, wait!" I call out again, before breaking out into a jog. I run around in front of her, but she just continues to walk past me. "Y/N!?”
"Can you just stop?!" Her tone is harsh as she glares at me.
I raise my hands in surrender, becoming more and more mad at Rosie by the second. What had she done to make Y/N ready to bite my head off when I hadn’t done anything?
"What's going on?" Ashton asks when him and the guys finally catch up with us.
She glances towards him, her face falling as she scoffs in disgust. "You know… I thought you were different," Y/N tells him and Ashton looks just as confused as the rest of us. "I really, really thought you'd be different."
She shakes her head before starting to walk off again, but Ashton stops the girl. "Wait, what do you mean? I… what did I do?"
She pulls out a piece of crumpled up paper, waving it in his face. "This stupid fucking note. Rosie told me everything."
I was gonna vomit. We’d all seen Ashton writing the note at lunch. Rosie had spewed her lies for the last time "This fuckin' bitch," I mumble and Michael rests a hand on my shoulder. “What'd she-”
“Jaz,” Ashton cuts me off and glances towards me, giving me a look to let him handle this.
I curl and uncurl my fingers at my side, letting Michael pull me towards him, both of his hands now on my shoulders, his fingers rubbing softly to ease the tension in them.
"What'd she tell you?" Ashton finally asks.
She licks her lips, fingers fiddling with the hair tie on her wrist. "She told me that Grant put you up to writing the note. That you don't actually like me.”
Great… Grant was part of this shit, too. Of course he was… Much like Rosie, the guy was a piece of work. Honestly, they really did deserve each other.
Ashton shakes his head and sighs. "That's not true. She's just saying that to get in your head, Y/N," he explains. "Plus, I don't even talk to Grant. Like, at all. Not once."
"Plus, we saw him writing it during lunch before he left," Luke chimes in and we all nod in agreement.
"Did you read it?" Ash asks.
The girl shakes her head. "Not thoroughly," Y/N mumbles and we all turn our attention away so they can have their moment.
“I like you. I really, really like you. You intrigue me. You're funny, sweet, adorable, shy. Your personality is truly amazing. I… I want to be with you," we hear Ashton tell her.
"R-Really?" she asks in a whisper and Ashton giggles softly.
"Yeah, absolutely. If you want I-I could take you out for dinner tomorrow night?"
"I'd like that," she tells him.
“Awww!” I croon. Michael, Calum, and Luke join me, making us all laugh. “Alright. Now that you're seeing each other, I'm gonna fuck Rosie up," I tell them before heading off in search of Rosie and her friends.
I hear Michael curse softly before following after me, everybody else trailing behind him.
When I spot Rosie, Grant, and a few of their friends standing towards the other end of the school, I yell out, "Ayo, bitch!"
The strawberry blonde glances in our direction, rolling her eyes. Yeah, your eyes are about to roll alright, I think as I cock my arm back before clocking her in the face. Gasps leave some of the girls lips as Grant's eyes become wide. I smirk, putting up my both fists. This shit ends now.
"What the fuck!" Rosie screams. She takes a swing at me, but I duck, my fist connecting with her ribs this time.
"You think it's okay to just pick on everyone here, huh?! Does it fuel your fucking ego?! How's it feel to be belittled?!" I scream while taking a chunk of Rosie's hair in my hands, pushing her back. I’m not sure if I’m gonna hit her some more or keep screaming every insult I can think of, but it doesn’t matter.
Michael grabs me around my waist, dragging me away from her. "Jaz, stop," he mumbles as I fight against him.
"No, lemme at her! She deserves it. He does too!" I snarl at Grant, twisting my body and breaking free. My next punch goes straight into Grant’s eye, causing him to slump slightly forward, his hand flying to where I struck him.
"You bitch!" he growls and takes a step towards me.
My mouth drops open in shock, before a gleeful smile crosses my face. Hit me, you fucker… Make. My. Day.
Michael pushes me behind him with one hand, shoving Grant with the other, his green eyes glaring at the jock. "Yo, were you about to hit a girl?!"
If my heart wasn’t racing before, it sure was now. I beamed at Michael in pride, before glancing around. All of our backpacks were a heap on the ground. Calum had a look and stance that I’m sure matched my own, ready to show these jerks what happens when you fuck with the “losers.” Luke’s eyes held traces of panic, but his hands were clenched in fists at his sides. Michael was still glaring at Grant, daring him to do something, anything to give him a reason to knock him out cold. Ashton looked like his mind was racing to come up with a way to calm this down before it became a straight up brawl. Y/N’s hand landed on my shoulder. Her eyes were soft, pleading for us to drop it.
C'mon, let's just get out of here," Ashton states and urges Michael to step away.
"Please," Y/N adds.
I look over at Rosie, with her bleeding lip, eyes wild and on high alert, stunned into silence for probably the first time in her life. My gaze shifts to Grant and his black eye. Part of me wants to start kicking Rosie’s ass again while Michael wails on Grant next to me. But, I’m satisfied with the damage I already dealt. Fine. I don’t need to hit them again. But… “I don't want you coming near us ever again," I threaten Rosie. I get a sick thrill of how she flinches back when I take a step towards her, her scoff stuck in her throat. "You hear me?!"
She rolls her eyes and nods her head. "Fine, yes. Jesus, just get the fuck away from us," Rosie states.
Good enough for me. I grab my bag and practically skip off. “You alright there, slugger?” Michael asks, grabbing my hand and examining my knuckles. They’re mid transition from red to a purplish blue.
I flex my fingers, wincing slightly. “Just a bruise. I’ll be alright. Were you really gonna hit Grant?”
“Well I wasn’t gonna let him get away with him hitting my girlfriend. Although I probably shoulda slugged him for calling you a bitch.”
“Girlfriend?” I ask.
“Well… yeah… You think I’m just gonna make out with you in a hallway, and then not ask you to be my girlfriend?”
I shrug. “I dunno. You’re the one who made out with me and then didn’t ask.”
“Well I was gonna until you went all Mortal Kombat on Rosie and her little gang.”
“You kissed me a whole two hours ago, but sure… blame the fight.”
“Has it really been two hours?”
“Yep.”
“Huh, guess I should fix that.”
“Mikey!” I squeal with laughter as he starts covering my face in kisses.
“So?” he asks, his eyes bright with excitement.
“So?”
“Girlfriend?”
I laugh. “That is the worst ask in the history of asks!”
“Alright, alright. Jaz, will you be my girlfriend?”
“Where are you taking me on our date, boyfriend?” I ask in lieu of answering.
~~~
I skip over to Y/N when I see her after spring break. “So, how are things going with you and Ash?” I ask suggestively as we fall in step together as we walk towards our first periods.
She hugs the books she’s holding tight to her chest as her cheeks turn pink. "It's going good. We hung out for most of spring break.”
I note the smile on her face with a squeal of excitement."That's awesome, Y/N. You two are fucking adorable," I grin back. "Have you guys kissed yet?"
"N-No," she stutters, looking towards me with wide eyes.
I blink a few times in confusion. They’d been together for as long as Michael and I have, and Ashton hadn’t kissed her yet? I would kill Michael.
"What?! I mean… should we have? We've only been together for a few weeks,” she continued to sputter.
I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a huff of breath. "Well, I just assumed that he's kissed you goodbye after a date or greeted you with a kiss," I mention and she just shakes her head, swallowing thickly. "It's probably nothing. He most likely wants it to be special or both of you are just too nervous to make a move,” I explain, hoping to put her mind at ease, and I’m still turning it over in my own mind as we split up.
“Hey, beautiful,” Michael winks as I sit down at the desk next to his.
“Hey,” I smile, leaning across the aisle to give him a quick kiss. “Did you know that Ash and Y/N haven’t kissed yet?”
“So?”
“So, don’t you think that’s weird? Like, they’re dating.”
He sighs, the lilac colored fringe fluttering softly with his breath. “Honestly, babe, I don’t think about it at all. Like… they’re still working at a faster pace than we did in terms of first meeting to first date.”
“Ha-ha,” I laugh humorlessly. “All I’m saying is is that Ash needs to do something about it.”
“Or what?” my boyfriend laughs. “You’ll hit him?”
I crack my knuckles. “Maybe. You don’t know what I’m capable of.”
Michael laughs harder. “Stop beating people up, Jaz. That was like, the worst week of my life.”
“It was only detention. Coulda been a lot worse.”
“Yeah, detention and your parents grounded you. I was alone, babe. It was terrible.”
“Aw, you poor baby,” I tease, giving him another kiss as the bell rings.
~~~
“Jesus, didn’t Ash just have a concert?” I ask in fake annoyance as I walk hand in hand with Michael towards the auditorium. Nearly a month and the contact still set off butterflies in my stomach.
“That was the spring concert,” Luke informs me. “This is just the band’s showcase.”
“Mmm,” I nod, scanning around the crowd to see if I can find the man of the hour.
“Can you see him?” Y/N asks me.
I shake my head, my eyes noticing the snack bar.
“You guys go ahead, I’m gonna check the band room.
We nod at her, Calum and Luke muttering about how we’ll save her a seat. “Yeah, go get us seats,” I encourage, nudging Michael’s shoulder. “Mikey, snacks.”
“Good eye,” he tells me proudly, before leading us through the crowd to get in line.
“Hey, Mikey?” I ask suddenly.
“Hmm?”
“Why’d you kiss me?”
“You’re gonna have to be a lot more specific than that, babe.”
“The first time. The day of the fight.”
“Cuz I like you. Why are you asking me this now?”
Because I’ve been in love with you since we were 6 and don’t want to make a fool of myself by telling you so early into us actually dating. “Keep forgetting.”
“Mmm. Well, it’s like I said,” he tells me, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. “It’s cuz I like ya.”
“And… how long did it take from you realizing you liked me to you actually kissing me?”
He lets out a huff of air in thought. “Geez… I dunno… I mean, I tried to kiss you like two months before that. Why? How long have you liked me?” he asks, flipping the conversation.
“Since kindergarten,” I mumble fast and low, my cheeks burning. No sense in hiding it now.
“Jesus…” he giggles. “That long, huh?”
I push his shoulder. “Don’t make fun of me!”
“I’m not, I’m not,” he continues to giggle. “Just… damn… wish I’d known that so I would’ve kissed you sooner.”
“How much sooner?”
“Kindergarten.”
I pull up my shirt to hide how bright red my face is. “Mikey!”
“What? It’s the truth. Well… half the truth anyway.”
“Excuse me?”
“‘Like’ isn’t a strong enough word. Now, ‘love’ on the other hand… Yeah. That feels better. So I take back what I said. I didn't kiss you because I like you. I kissed you because I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I beam up at him.
“Since kindergarten?”
“Since kindergarten.”
__
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Hey! Wikathon na! I’ve started reading Relocations by Karen Tongson, about a third through now, but I had to take a little detour through Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir like I said I would. I’ve finished reading HtN but I’m not quite done experiencing it, so I’ll probably pick Relocations back up tomorrow.
But here’s what I read in July! What’s a segue?
1. Haikyu!! Volume 44 and 45 by Haruichi Furudate
A chance event triggered Shouyou Hinata’s love for volleyball. His club had no members, but somehow persevered and finally made it into its very first and final regular match of middle school, where it was steamrolled by Tobio Kageyama, a superstar player known as “King of the Court.”
Vowing revenge, Hinata applied to the Karasuno High School volleyball club… only to come face-to-face with his hated rival, Kageyama!
And with those two volumes, Haikyū has ended. I’m really glad that my cousin got me to catch up to the series because being a part of the sheer joy and love that’s poured out the fandom these past few months has been refreshing to my spirit. I enjoyed the way Furudate brought the series to its conclusion, by giving all the characters a future and room to grow. I hope to hear more from him in the upcoming years.
2. Looking for Group by Alexis Hall
I read Looking for Group because I was reading up on Alexis Hall in anticipation of Boyfriend Material, which I will talk about later, and saw the synopsis:
So, yeah, I play Heroes of Legend, y’know, the MMO. I’m not like obsessed or addicted or anything. It’s just a game. Anyway, there was this girl in my guild who I really liked because she was funny and nerdy and a great healer. Of course, my mates thought it was hilarious I was into someone I’d met online. And they thought it was even more hilarious when she turned out to be a boy IRL. But the joke’s on them because I still really like him.
And now that we’re together, it’s going pretty well. Except sometimes I think Kit—that’s his name, sorry I didn’t mention that—spends way too much time in HoL. I know he has friends in the guild, but he has me now, and my friends, and everyone knows people you meet online aren’t real. I mean. Not Kit. Kit’s real. Obviously.
Oh, I’m Drew, by the way. This is sort of my story. About how I messed up some stuff and figured out some stuff. And fell in love and stuff.
And I knew that I had to read it. Immediately.
I enjoyed it way too much. The characters were adorable, the conflict was done well, the geeky gamer wrapper was AMAZING and the author never dropped the ball on integrating the online game into the narrative. It was very readable and I enjoyed the atmosphere of the book immensely. I also may have spent a heady week or so thinking of playing WoW, but I avoided that temptation. Made me miss uni too, and the way my friends and I would spend countless hours with each other.
3. Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall
Wanted:
One (fake) boyfriend
Practically perfect in every way
Luc O’Donnell is tangentially–and reluctantly–famous. His rock star parents split when he was young, and the father he’s never met spent the next twenty years cruising in and out of rehab. Now that his dad’s making a comeback, Luc’s back in the public eye, and one compromising photo is enough to ruin everything.
To clean up his image, Luc has to find a nice, normal relationship…and Oliver Blackwood is as nice and normal as they come. He’s a barrister, an ethical vegetarian, and he’s never inspired a moment of scandal in his life. In other words: perfect boyfriend material. Unfortunately apart from being gay, single, and really, really in need of a date for a big event, Luc and Oliver have nothing in common. So they strike a deal to be publicity-friendly (fake) boyfriends until the dust has settled. Then they can go their separate ways and pretend it never happened.
But the thing about fake-dating is that it can feel a lot like real-dating. And that’s when you get used to someone. Start falling for them. Don’t ever want to let them go.
I came into this book with high expectations after Looking for Group, and my expectations were mostly met. The few issues I had were ultimately negligible, probably cultural differences or conventions of a genre that I’m not familiar with. The characters were strong, and I found the book funny. I know it sounds as though I’m damning it with faint praise, so I’ll say it plainly: it was an enjoyable read and I was totally invested in the romance. I think it’ll make a really good film as well.
4. The Subtweet by Vivek Shraya
Everyone talks about falling in love, but falling in friendship can be just as captivating. When Neela Devaki’s song is covered by internet-famous artist Rukmini, the two musicians meet and a transformative friendship begins. But as Rukmini’s star rises and Neela’s stagnates, jealousy and self-doubt creep in. With a single tweet, their friendship implodes, one career is destroyed, and the two women find themselves at the center of an internet firestorm.
Celebrated multidisciplinary artist Vivek Shraya’s second novel is a stirring examination of making art in the modern era, a love letter to brown women, an authentic glimpse into the music industry, and a nuanced exploration of the promise and peril of being seen.
If you’re a millennial and if you’ve ever had complicated friendships, this book will ring really true for most of it, I think. I kept wincing at the characters’ actions and “mistakes”, recognising them as things I or my friends have done, but there are portions of the story that I found inaccessible because Neela, the main character, just seems really opaque even when they’re the ones speaking. The music Shraya made as a companion to the book slaps and can be found here.
5. Empowered 11 by Adam Warren
Costumed crimefighter Empowered finds herself the desperate prey of a maniacal supervillain whose godlike powers have turned an entire city of suprahumans against her.
Not good! Outnumbered and under siege, aided only by a hero’s ghost, can Emp survive the relentless onslaught long enough to free her enslaved teammates and loved ones, or is this–*gulp*–The End?
From comics overlord Adam Warren comes Empowered, the acclaimed sexy superhero comedy–except when it isn’t, as in this volume’s no-nonsense, wall-to-wall brawl guaranteed to bring tears to the eye and fists to the face!
Warren’s tying up a lot of loose ends and answering a lot of questions and I’m wondering if that means Empowered‘s ending soon. I haven’t seen any info regarding this, even though the words “The End” are right there in the summary, because comic books always lean on the whole the hero could die! thing, and more often than not they never do. But Emp has come so far in the past 11 volumes, and I think that she’s ready to confront a lot of the stuff that Warren’s only hinted at in the past. Most of Empowered is about how Emp deals with failure and how she rises above it, and recently it’s become about how other people have failed her, rather than how she has failed, and how she deserves better. I’m worried about her, but at least we are another volume’s worth of evidence for the Emp/Thugboy/Ninjette OT3.
6. Sex and Vanity by Kevin Kwan
The iconic author of the bestselling phenomenon Crazy Rich Asians returns with a glittering tale of love and longing as a young woman finds herself torn between two worlds–the WASP establishment of her father’s family and George Zao, a man she is desperately trying to avoid falling in love with.
On her very first morning on the jewel-like island of Capri, Lucie Churchill sets eyes on George Zao and she instantly can’t stand him. She can’t stand it when he gallantly offers to trade hotel rooms with her so that she can have the view of the Tyrrhenian Sea, she can’t stand that he knows more about Curzio Malaparte than she does, and she really can’t stand it when he kisses her in the darkness of the ancient ruins of a Roman villa and they are caught by her snobbish, disapproving cousin, Charlotte. “Your mother is Chinese so it’s no surprise you’d be attracted to someone like him,” Charlotte teases. Daughter of an American-born-Chinese mother and blue-blooded New York father, Lucie has always sublimated the Asian side of herself in favor of the white side, and she adamantly denies having feelings for George. But several years later, when George unexpectedly appears in East Hampton where Lucie is weekending with her new fiancé, Lucie finds herself drawn to George again. Soon, Lucy is spinning a web of deceit that involves her family, her fiancé, the co-op board of her Fifth Avenue apartment, and ultimately herself as she tries mightily to deny George entry into her world–and her heart. Moving between summer playgrounds of privilege, peppered with decadent food and extravagant fashion, Sex and Vanity is a truly modern love story, a daring homage to A Room with a View, and a brilliantly funny comedy of manners set between two cultures.
This was the third romance novel I read in July, and that’s honestly the highest concentration of romance novel I’ve ever had in my life. I know that I’m supposed to find romance novels like super kilig and stuff, but so far I am just very anxious for romance novel protagonists all the time. I think that the whole thing about the romance novels I have read is that they’re mostly about how deeply anxious people learn how to allow themselves to be loved and that is tough! I wanted to protect Lucie all the time! I was Invested in her Welfare, and I don’t think I cared about Rachel Chu from Crazy Rich Asians half as much, even if you condensed all my attachment from the entire trilogy. Also, small spoiler, there is a hint that Sex and Vanity is in the same universe as Crazy Rich Asians, which I think is awesome.
6. Trust Exercise by Susan Choi
Pulitzer Finalist Susan Choi’s narrative-upending novel about what happens when a first love between high school students is interrupted by the attentions of a charismatic teacher
In an American suburb in the early 1980s, students at a highly competitive performing arts high school struggle and thrive in a rarified bubble, ambitiously pursuing music, movement, Shakespeare, and, particularly, their acting classes. When within this striving “Brotherhood of the Arts,” two freshmen, David and Sarah, fall headlong into love, their passion does not go unnoticed—or untoyed with—by anyone, especially not by their charismatic acting teacher, Mr. Kingsley.
The outside world of family life and economic status, of academic pressure and of their future adult lives, fails to penetrate this school’s walls—until it does, in a shocking spiral of events that catapults the action forward in time and flips the premise upside-down. What the reader believes to have happened to David and Sarah and their friends is not entirely true—though it’s not false, either. It takes until the book’s stunning coda for the final piece of the puzzle to fall into place—revealing truths that will resonate long after the final sentence.
As captivating and tender as it is surprising, Trust Exercise will incite heated conversations about fiction and truth, friendships and loyalties, and will leave readers with wiser understandings of the true capacities of adolescents and of the powers and responsibilities of adults.
This is a book I could not stop reading and I felt gross after I finished it. I think that I enjoyed it and that the narrative flips were well-done and it was engaging, but Choi writes teenage trauma in 3D, and you can smell her scumbag characters. Very good will never read again unless looking to feel bad.
Re-read:
Temeraire: His Majesty’s Dragon, Throne of Jade, Black Powder War, andEmpire of Ivory by Naomi Novik
Aerial combat brings a thrilling new dimension to the Napoleonic Wars as valiant warriors ride mighty fighting dragons, bred for size or speed. When HMS Reliant captures a French frigate and seizes the precious cargo, an unhatched dragon egg, fate sweeps Captain Will Laurence from his seafaring life into an uncertain future – and an unexpected kinship with a most extraordinary creature. Thrust into the rarified world of the Aerial Corps as master of the dragon Temeraire, he will face a crash course in the daring tactics of airborne battle. For as France’s own dragon-borne forces rally to breach British soil in Bonaparte’s boldest gambit, Laurence and Temeraire must soar into their own baptism of fire.
I started re-reading it because I wanted to introduce it to my girlfriend, and I outpaced her very quickly, and selfishly. She’s still at the beginning fourth of Throne of Jade, and I feel like I blinked and gulped down four of the books in quick succession. I had to stop myself after Empire, in a very belated effort to sync up to my gf’s progress. The series is amazing, and I don’t know if I’ll ever read one like Temeraire again. Being able to revisit it should be enough, really, because every time I do it’s as though I’m caught up in a strong and wonderful wind that fills me up with delight and awe. Novik’s starting a new series this September, and I hope it’s just as good.
That’s it for July! I’m probably going to do two books at a time for my Wikathon posts, just to keep things fresh and current, so keep a weather eye out for those posts!
July, next verse, same as the first Hey! Wikathon na! I've started reading Relocations by Karen Tongson, about a third through now, but I had to take a little detour through…
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