#fighting for leo’s happiness and appreciation with words is not enough i need a gun

[forestmossling]

okay, time for some serious caleo bashing (i’ve been gearing up for it for a while).

so we have leo valdez - admittedly the loneliest and saddest character in pjo (fuck people who think it’s nico because it’s not, and i can elaborate on that in another post if anybody wants me to). his entire character arc is formed by his loneliness - he loses his mother at a very young age, so he’s left without any real, loving family or any kind of safe, stable home for the majority of his adolescence, because foster care throws him around (or he himself is forced to run away) he doesn’t get an opportunity to form any real connections. and then, finally, he gets piper and jason. except he doesn’t, really, because they mostly ignore him in favor of dealing with their rocky relationship. he seemingly gets a family - the hephaestus cabin - but he quickly becomes a social pariah there too because of his abilities and general demeanor (which is, in fact, a coping mechanism). and yes, later on we see him getting on better with his siblings, but that doesn’t happen for a good long while.

his loneliness becomes even more glaringly obvious on argo II. i don’t think i have to remind you of the whole narcissus and echo ordeal. and the way absolutely everyone is paired off, except for him. so he’s basically abandoned by everyone throughout all of hoo - by his family (godly and otherwise) and by his friends and those he tries to befriend.

so how to fix that? how to rid leo of this staggering loneliness he carries around like a suffocating cloak three sizes too big? well, i would say, let’s improve platonic relationships on argo II and let these kids be friends with each other instead of just getting tangled up in all possible variations of romantic affairs. let leo visibly (ON SCREEN (or well, on page)) get closer to his godly siblings and find a family he longed for since he lost his mother. let him find out from reliable people who love him, that his powers and what happened to his mother don’t make him a monster. let him thrive in a safe environment where he isn’t pressured to play an entertainer just to be kept around, for once.

but what did rick decide? LET’S GIVE HIM A GIRLFRIEND!! let’s throw a cute girl at leo, blatantly ignoring the fact that most of his issues stem from lacking a loving family and genuine platonic companionship, none of which will be solved by a romantic relationship. and not just throw a girl at him - let’s dump him on a cursed island which magically forces the girl in question to automatically fall in love with anybody who lands on it. let’s leave caleo no other choice but to fall in love with each other, because calypso has no other way of getting off the ogygia and leo feels guilty about leaving her there alone and also she’s his only chance of survival. sure, why the fuck not.

and i understand why caleo would be attracted to each other. when they first met and when i first saw them slowly warming up to each other, i genuinely could see them becoming a badass power couple and had pretty high hopes for them.

but then they get off the island. and well. everything goes to shit. calypso resents leo for losing her immortality, and leo somehow? feels guilty about it??? (if memory serves me right. if it doesn’t, well, i have a lot more points i’m completely confident in). every time we see them talk to each other, it’s calypso throwing jabs at leo which aren’t returned in kind. and, i hate to break it to you guys, but if it’s one person just talking shit at another without another doing the same (very likely because leo’s afraid she will dump him just like everyone else did the moment he steps a foot out of line, which, again - is a VERY BAD FUCKING SIGN), that’s not flirty banter, that’s just straight-up bullying. and let’s not forget the great hits by calypso such as “oh my gods, he doesn’t experience empathy in all the same situations and the same way i do, he’s a heartless fucking monster. hey, leo, you’re a heartless fucking monster for not empathizing with people exactly the same way i do!”, when leo was explicitly shown to struggle with empathy and social interactions in general in canon, because it’s easier to deal with machines. again, largely because he had little to none healthy socialization growing up and he does feel empathy, but just expresses it differently. and i would hope that his actual girlfriend would know that about him and, instead of judging him for it, would learn how to work around it or at least understand that people can be different and that’s not a bad thing, especially when it comes to a person you (are supposed to) love. and even if it was an actual faux pas on leo’s side, i can let it slide because he’s a teenage boy with adhd. calypso, however, is not, and i really feel like a shit ton years old immortal sorceress should know better (and yes, the huge fucking age gap in a relationship with a minor, which is another can of worms entirely, but i will skim over it for now, because there are actually ways for it to be handled better, it just wasn’t).

and, however it looks like, i genuinely don’t have any particularly strong feelings about calypso outside of the way she treats leo. she was admittedly dealt an incredibly shit hand and all the continuously-getting-her-heart-broken-because-of-the-fucking-gods deal is a lot to get over. but that doesn’t excuse how she treats leo. it’s not even a question of “does she really love him?” for me, because i find myself wondering if she even likes him in general, just as a person. and that’s another giant fucking red flag.

their whole relationship just feels like rick incredibly carelessly tied his loose ends, like “oh! there are two characters i don’t know what to do with. well, let’s just smush them together. that will surely solve everything and let me get on with the rest of the story!” (and maybe not even carelessly but, dare i say, uncaringly)

but, okay, let’s say they’re both severely traumatized and just get off to a rocky start. alright. well, how will rick work on improving their relationship and finally resolving the issue of leo’s deep-seated loneliness? oh. he won’t. he will make them leave camp half-blood indefinitely. the place where leo found his first real family, where all of his friends are. where he was, for the first time in the series, shown some actual recognition, respect and care by the other campers (which they did by… hitting him. but considering all the demigods are weird with affection, i will let that one slide), just as he finally got close with his siblings. rick will make them stay at waystation and get a “normal teenage experience” by… going to high school. and i don’t think i’m wrong in assuming leo’s average high school experience prior to this was getting bullied and isolated. which will probably not change just because he goes to a new school in a city he doesn’t know with his girlfriend who hates him.

i’m sorry, but - WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???

and i understand that letting himself believe that leo dating calypso and changing scenery would magically solve all of his problems was a lot easier for rick than laying huge groundwork for leo finally finding his place in chb and building a bunch of close interpersonal relationships with other campers that would let him feel at home somewhere at last and also breaking his problematic tendency of just pairing teenagers off with each other instead of letting them bond platonically. and i’m also not saying there aren’t A LOT of great platonic relationships written by rick (percy’s family and his friendship with grover, basically all of nico’s immediate circle, all of will’s immediate circle, i really was mostly talking about the argo II debacle there). but this feels a little bit too much like carelessly tying loose ends again for my comfort.

and it’s not like rick just doesn’t realize leo’s motivations and biggest struggles. he doesn’t just make leo a flat comic relief character: he encourages us to empathize with his loneliness and pain all throughout the journey on argo II, he forces us to notice how hard he takes being the seventh, always forgotten wheel. he just… doesn’t really do anything about it.

i am a firm believer in the fact that leo just didn’t need a romantic relationship at all throughout the series. it wouldn’t solve any of his issues (and romantic relationships shouldn’t be founded on the goal of solving anybody’s issues, that’s just a disaster waiting to happen), it would most likely distract him from building a wide and stable support system he actually needs and throw him headfirst into something he, in his current state, would not be equipped to properly deal with. but even if he did enter a romantic relationship at some point, it definitely shouldn’t have been the main point and the grand finale of his story, and it definitely shouldn’t have been with calypso. i can see him with frank (i genuinely remember reading their interactions in books and thinking that they would make a very interesting and fun couple with their dynamic, and the conflict of a guy whose literal survival depends on staying as far away from the fire/a guy who spontaneously ignites all the time would be really tasty and fun to explore, you could throw a good ol’ icarus and sun metaphor in there, but maybe that’s just me), hell, make it leo/frank/hazel (even though dating a guy you only seem to be attracted to because he’s a many-times-grandson of a boy you loved in the past doesn’t seem like a very good basis for a relationship, but at least she wouldn’t treat him the way calypso did). hell, i started really warming up to the idea of valgrace, because, even though their relationship wouldn’t have the time and space it needed to properly develop in canon (rip jason, i love you), they would have a really fucking cool and sweet dynamic. who if not jason grace can understand feeling lonely in a room full of people? who if not jason grace can appreciate leo for all the great things that he is while making him feel genuinely loved, instead of belittled? who if not leo can get jason to loosen up, make him realize he doesn’t have to carry the world of the whole world on his shoulders alone, become the ride-or-die jason never really got to have? but well, that’s me veering a little bit too much towards speculations, and i tried to work mostly with what canon had given us.

anyway. (i promise i’m almost done.) all of this doesn’t mean that i hate rick riordan - i admire his work on pjo, i really want to read the other series in riordanverse, and the sole fact that i had so much material to go through speaks for the immense work he does on giving depth to his characters. and i know he can write good romance: percabeth is one of the very few straight pairings i can not only stomach, but actually love immensely, solangelo is genuinely one of the best things to ever happen to this god-forsaken planet, in my humble opinion, and apollo’s entire history of past relationships has me obsessed (especially the commodus part. i cannot stress enough just how much feelings i have about their story). this is caleo bashing, not rick riordan bashing. but i just feel like he didn’t care enough to give the same carefully thought-out beautiful relationship to leo, and that, regretfully just happens sometimes, especially if there are as many important characters as in pjo, and we can’t really do anything about it. but as an unhinged leo valdez enjoyer and appreciator i’m very sad to see his story go that way, because he really deserves better.

and that’s about it!

#y’all this is a lot of fucking words i just wrote #i wear my professional yapper certificate proudly #all da ladies luv leo #and all da lads luv leo #basically everyone loves leo except for rick riordan and calypso apparently #and most importantly I LOVE LEO #a whole fucking lot #so i had to do this #can you tell i’ve been sitting on this for a while? #leo valdez #leo valdez character study #anti caleo #caleo bashing #leo valdez hc #pjo thoughts #valgrace #pjo hoo toa #leo valdez deserves better #fighting for leo’s happiness and appreciation with words is not enough i need a gun #in the words of great kendrick lamar #i’m the biggest hater #when it comes to caleo

[jamiedc-they-them]

Sibling Duty Part II (Platonic)

Requested Imagine: “Having a sister, you take your role seriously. But it backfires and leaves you both broken.” 

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3

You opened your eyes to see the roof of your van; you sighed, still feeling the effects of the bottles you had yesterday. You sat up, putting a hand to your forehead and groaned. At least this time it was the alcohol and not a fight.

You then looked at the ring on your finger, the one your sister had bought for you both to symbolise you both as family. A sister ring, she called it.

You didn’t want to, but you then found yourself remembering what you had tried to drink away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daisy had fallen asleep while watching the film, head still on your shoulder. This was a different film at a later time; her hair was now shorter, and Simmons had been brought back from Maveth.

The issue was, Daisy had a vision that someone on this team of yours was going to die. So, it made her want to spend more time with all of you while trying to deal with this latest crisis. This one, however, seemed to more personal for her. You knew it was taking a strain on her to have those visions and be struggling with them on her own.

You just wished you could help her. But, as of now, these moments seemed to help.

You left the room, closing the door quietly as you started making your own way towards your own room.

“Y/N,” Fitz said, walking up to you, “Thought I’d find you here.” He fell in line with you as you both walked.

“We that predictable?” You asked, but of a playful edge to your words.

“Wouldn’t go that far; if it helps, I’m happy you’re spending more time together now…. Still, with what I said, almost makes our efforts to stop it feel almost worthless.” He confessed to you. You furrowed your eyebrows, not liking this pessimistic take from Leo Fitz.

“Hey,” You said, he looked to you, “You aren’t one to give up, Fitz. We’ll solve this and our new inhuman team will do that. Daisy’s vision won’t come to pass. I’ll make sure of it.” He appreciated your words.

“I know we’ll try; we owe it to the guy and the world to try. But I’ve seen how you’ve been ever since she told us; overcompensating and rushing around.”

“I can ask for help, Fitz.” He forgot how you still had that bluntness in you. He knew that you had come a long way from where you started and that you were in a better place now. Still, he couldn’t help but still want you to be careful.

“I know. Even then, you may be doing too much –”

“Isn’t that what we do, though? Be the thing that stands between this world and the weird world?” He nodded at your words.

“We do, that’s true.” You didn’t stop.

“You did all that for Simmons; Hunter too for Bobbi.” He snapped his fingers at the Hunter part.

“Exactly, he did. But it didn’t work out, did it?” He asked you.

“So, you’re telling me to stop caring about my sister?”

“No, I’m saying to try and not go down the most reckless road to help her. Hunter tried, look how that all went with Andrew.” He said with a sigh, one you let out yourself.

“Christ Fitz, you do all that for Simmons and tell me to not do that for my sister? I won’t lose myself. But I’ll do whatever I have to do make sure she is safe.” You argued.

“Ok, ok,” He put his hands on his hips and sighed; this was not going the way he wanted, “I’m just saying, be careful is all.” You looked at your friend.

“I’m sorry, Fitz. I’m grateful that you care, I am really. But I’ll be ok.” You said, fully believing your words.

As you walked to your room, Fitz just let you go.

 You had completed another mission as your new team. The mission went fine for the most part, apart from a few flashes with death. The mission was to help your friends and capture Mallick if you could.

You did both, but it led to distrust. It led to Coulson pilling the five of you into the common area, the agents all looked at you all with glares. You, however, received the main ones because of your power.

That was when Coulson said it, “Hive can Sway Inhumans. Your team may have been exposed in the rescue.” That was when another curveball was thrown; one of you had killed Mallick. Again, Coulson looked to you.

“Stop looking at Y/N like that.” Daisy demanded, moving you behind her a little. It didn’t do much, as you were surrounded; but Coulson got the memo.

Guns were raised and tensions grew more and more. You looked to your sister, ready to follow her lead in whatever move she made.

The move she made was she dragged you both into the common area as bullets flew.

Even in that room, you weren’t safe as you then all started to turn on each other. All apart from you both.

That was a big fucking mistake.

As Lincoln turned on the sister he liked romantically, the one he didn’t glare at him, “Fuck you, Lincoln.” You growled. He ignored you as they both yelled at each other about each other’s location. She vouched for you against him.

 It culminated with you all being locked in containment rooms. You merely laid on your bed as you thought back to the conversation with the team. Then you closed your eyes for a moment, having not lowered the list of suspects.

The door opened, and Daisy stepped into the room, she had a smile on her face; but it wasn’t a soft one. It was one that held some malice behind it, “Hey Y/nn.” She greeted as she put her hand against the glass.

“What’s going on Daisy?” You asked in concern, seeing her smile. As you looked at your little sister, it finally clicked for you. Why she had that smile.

“No, no, no.” You said as you backed away from the window in fear. Nothing but fear and concern.

“Y/N, you can join me. You trust me, don’t you?” She asked; it seemed like a test. But you didn’t give the answer she wanted.

“Not like this Dais.” You said, the words upset her. Her smile dropped, she nodded, before she then locked you in the room.

“DAISY! DAISY DON’T DO THIS! DAISY!” You cried out as you slammed your hand against the window, but she ignored you and went on her war path; one that included shaking and parts of the base collapsing.

 As soon as the door opened, you ran through and ran to the hanger; as you ran, you were grabbed, however. Coulson was holding you back.

“Let me go! Let me go!” You begged as you collapsed to the ground in sobs. You had failed your sister. You had failed the only blood family you had by not acting fast enough.

“We’ll get her back, Y/N.” Coulson promised you as he held you. The rest of your friends had no choice to watch as you sobbed for what you had lost on your own watch.

You looked at him with fierce, but broken eyes, “Your damn right we will.” You said with a voice that did not tremble; it was filled with rage and protective love. To them, though, it was a frightful one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Y/N – “

“What the fuck are you doing, Coulson? We need to find her!” You were angry.

“Y/N – “

“She must have her phone or – or something.” You were irrational.

“Y/N, Fitzsimmons are working on something right now –” You weren’t really listening. You were just panicking.

“Y/N!” His loudness made you stop and look at Coulson, he put a hand on your shoulder, “We need to see Fitzsimmons, we need what they have on how to try and fight this thing. Trust me, I’m not letting her go either. I’m not letting this thing win.” You nodded at your friend’s words and let him guide you to the lab.

 The main theory was that Daisy was addicted to the thing; that matched up with what she told Lincoln about wanting him to be happy too. What Hive did was swarm the brain and make whoever is infected felt they were invincible and were to ICERs.

Your powers weren’t ICERs, though. So, you were banking on that. You just didn’t tell anyone. Although, when it came to Coulson, it didn’t seem you needed to as he seemed to know your intention with your ability by your look alone.

 There was an inhuman named Alisha who could clone herself. She had been infected by Hive and you, May, Coulson and Lincoln were looking for her. You and Lincoln both waited for her to show herself.

When she did, you both confronted her, “Lincoln, Y/N? How’d you know where I was?” You both skipped the greetings.

“Where’s my sister?” You asked, up front.

“I don’t know, why?” She asked, concerned for your sister. You, however, didn’t buy it for a second. Lincoln seemed to know and put a hand on your arm as he took over for you both.

“I thought they’d come for you. There’s this thing that looks like Grant Ward, but he is most definitely not Grant Ward. I know it sounds crazy, but he controls Inhumans, forces us to do things we wouldn’t otherwise do. We can keep you safe, but…” It was then you noticed a clone coming towards you both.

“You are fucking bitch!” You swore as you threw a dark blade at her, she dodged and fired her weapon; as she did, you and Lincoln dove for cover; finding what you wanted as you both went behind a vehicle.

“We don’t want to have to hurt you, you could join us; you both could. You could be with your sister, Y/N. You could let all the fear you have for her go and fully let yourself have that bond. You could not have to worry about anything.” Alisha said as her and her clone started looking for you both.

“We knew you were protective, Y/N. But this is just sloppy.” She said as a third clone approached you and pulled you from you cover. Just as your luck would have it, May and Lincoln started fighting the others; meaning now it was just one on one.

She was right, you were both protective and sloppy. But that didn’t matter to you; all that did was making this bitch pay and finding Daisy’s location. You didn’t care how you got it.

You were a person who was raised in shitholes before you met SHIELD; so, you knew how to fight dirty if need be. Plus, now you had powers; powers that fed on that hate for Hive and the anger at yourself.

You punched her, not giving her a chance to retaliate as you then slammed her into a car and punched her repeatedly.

As a shot went off, it hit your shoulder. Your reaction was the regular cry out, but you then turned the clone over and held her as a shield; as it turned out, Lincoln was doing the same. The blood started to go down your shoulder and you am, you held a blade to the clone’s throat.

“Don’t.” She begged you, looking at her clone.

“Then tell me where the fuck my sister is!” You pushed the blade more against the clone’s throat.

Aisha shot one clone; you stabbed the blade into the throat of the other before she even got the chance.

As Lincoln recovered, you ran at the real Aisha and tackled her to the ground, you wrapped your hands around her throat and tightened. She tried to fight against you, but you held your grip, despite her hands clawing at your one to make you let go.

You didn’t, you only watched as the life ebbed out of her, before finally she was gone.

 You sat on the Zephier, reeling from what you had just done. You had just killed someone that was an ally to SHIELD; someone who was an inhuman.

You closed your eyes to try and keep the tears and bay as your thoughts showed you the loss of her life repeatedly. Even if it was a clone, to you it didn’t matter. You had taken lives before, but this was one you took up close and personally.

“Hey,” Coulson’s soft voice rang over the ringing in your ears, “Are you ok?” He asked as he saw you sit an almost traumatised state.

“I can’t lose her, Coulson.” You said, looking up at the man who had played a significant role in your life for a long time now; but, in the few years you had been on this team, he had seemed to step up to the plate of playing that role more and more.

“I know, and we won’t –”

“You keep saying that. But then you do nothing.” He knew you didn’t mean the words to hurt him, so he only listened to you and gave you a moment before he responded.

“You aren’t the only one who cares.” He said, parroting the words May had just told him moments ago.

“But I’m the only one willing to do what’s needed to get her back.” Your words scared him, he had to admit.

But he didn’t really have a response.

 They had found Daisy’s location; she had tripped it and now you were on your way. As Mack and you hoped, it had been done on purpose.

So, as Mack and the others went to deal with the Kree that had landed, you ran. You didn’t care that May and Mack were calling out for you, you only cared about finding Daisy.

You had found her, you found her by a Kree body and Doctor Radcliff looking at you and then between you both, “Is this Y/N?” You looked between the two with a look of confusion before you looked at your sister and your gaze softened.

“You told him about me?” You asked, softly. Daisy approached you, tense; but she nodded anyway.

“I did, because I still want you to join us, Y/nn. I know you’re worried about me; you have been for a while now. I appreciate that, more than you can ever know, having an older sister look out for me is great. But…I want to help you as well; you won’t have to worry anymore; we can both be free.” She said with such a conviction that you almost believed that it was her speaking and not Hive.

“I’m still me, Y/N. I am, but I’m better now. I’m better and for the first time, I’m thinking clearly. All our friends can be free too, they can be inhuman. We can have everyone have these powers and save the world better. If you join, they’d follow.” She said, holding out her hand for you.

Tears ran down your face as looked at Daisy; you saw the scared child you met back at the BUS; the one that reminded you of yourself and the one you both happened to be related.

“I’m sorry.” You meant those words as you through your grenade into the Kree, dissolving it.

Daisy looked at it, and then you, “No.” She said in shock; she then held out her hand and threw you backwards. You landed on the floor, but you managed to get back up and dodge her hand as you then punched her and went to follow up when she kicked you back.

“I can fight dirty too, Dais. You think I didn’t learn?” You asked as you got up and wiped the blood from your mouth. For some reason, Daisy let you; part of you told yourself it was her resisting.

The fight resumed; kick and punches being thrown between you both quickly, with your powers being mixed in between them. In the end, you had her in a headlock, “Come home with me, Daisy. I know you’re in there.” You begged her.

“I am home, Y/N. It’s you who’s lost.” She yelled as she pushed her hands out and used her power; the push sent you both back. She landed on you and knocked the wind out of you. She stood up and turned to you, punching you in the face, repeatedly.

“If you won’t join me, then stay out of my way. You’re just making this worse for me, Y/nn.” She told you. She was about to Quake you when a bullet hit her.

You were dragged back to the pod by strong arms, most likely Mack’s. As you entered the pod, May and he crouched next to you. They spoke to you, but you looked outside the pod at your sister; one who had been shot and was hurt because of you.

 Coulson stood behind Jemma as she patched you up after your fight with Daisy; the tension in the room was tense as Coulson looked at you with an unreadable expression.

“Before you get angry –” He cut you off just to show how much anger he was hiding.

“What the hell was that?” He said, he was furious, but trying to hide it still.

“That was me doing what I to do to try and get Daisy back.” You argued, pushing Jemma’s hand away and standing up. You ignored her warning against doing that.

“You think I don’t want her back?” He asked, now he was pissed.

“You do, but you’re not willing to do what’s necessary.” You said as you walked closer to the man.

“I can’t lose either of you.” He said, brokenly. Those words took you off guard; so much so you took an unsteady breath to try and catch yourself with.

You saw it for the first time, what you were doing. The damage you were doing to both yourself and Daisy.

“I’m sorry, sir.” You said, meaning those words fully.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You laid in your bed in the containment room. You looked up at the ceiling once again as if on a loop. You almost expected Daisy to appear once again in the doorway and try and persuade you to leave; to try and get you on her side.

“Y/N.” You heard her say but didn’t’ look at where it came from. In fact, you didn’t want to; sure, it was just a figment of your imagination.

“Y/N, look at me…please.” She begged; that told you that this wasn’t your imagination. This was your sister reaching out to you through the big fucking tv in your room.

You had no choice but to look, curiosity getting the better of you; along with you want to see your sister again.

You looked over, she looked paler than when you last saw her. To be honest, she looked like she was dying.

“Hey,” You said, softly as you stood and walked over, keeping your eyes on her the whole time, “It’s good to see that you’re ok.”

“You too.” She gave you a smile at her own words. You both took a moment to take the fact in that you both were ok.

“Are you ok?” You asked, wanting to know why she was so pale. Despite how you knew you had probably hurt your bond; you were still the older sibling.

She smiled a bit at your concern, “I’m fine. I’m just a little drained.” Those words caught your attention.

“Drained?”

“Nothing bad, swear on it. Rings swear.” She said, holding up her ring; the ring was just a simple silver ring. But it wasn’t the thing itself that mattered, it was the meaning of that ring that meant everything to you both.

You held up your own ring, showing that you’d go with it; her smile grew at your action.

“What about you? Why are you locked up?” She asked, looking at your surroundings.

“They think I went too far when looking for you. They think I’ve lost myself a little.” You answered, spinning your ring around anxiously.

“Well, have you?” She asked.

“Kind of…. I mean, I didn’t know you for a large majority of my life. So, I’ve got to make up for that, somehow.” You were honest in this answer.

“Well, I gave you a chance to come with me. But you said no.” She said, seemingly throwing it in your face.

“Yeah, well. I don’t exactly like being brainwashed into doing shit, so.” You argued back.

“Do I sound brainwashed to you? Do I sound like I’m in a cult to you?”

“I don’t know. All I want is my sister back. I want my best friend back. I want you and me to have movie night again and be like old times…. But, if I’m honest, I don’t think that’s possible anymore.” You said, your sister as touched by the words. But a beep notified her.

“Hold on, you’ve got company. Go back to bed, I’ll cut the feed and it’ll be like nothing has happened. Love you, Y/nn.” She said before she counted you down; just like that, she was gone, and the SHIELD logo was back on the screen.

 It was Coulson and Talbot who had entered the room, “Well, well, well. If its older Johnson.” Talbot said in some form of greeting; you just sat up and nodded at him with a tight-lipped smile.

“What’s going on?” You asked Coulson. That led to a discussion.

 “That’s why we need those accords. It’s about protection.” Talbot said.

“Ok, but whose?” You asked in response.

“Everyone’s in case another one of you people run amok.”

“Wait, “you people”. Jesus, I thought you were different Talbot, I thought you were actually going to bring some sort of positive change to the whole Inhuman thing –”

“Y/N.” Coulson said to try and calm you down.

“Fuck off Coulson. No, you,” You said as you met the general’s eyes, “Fuck you.” You sneered.

“Why is she in here? Has she lost control recently?” Talbot asked Coulson.

“She’s under medical care general.” Coulson answered.

“I’ve seen her when it comes to her sister, she’d do anything for her; maybe even burn the whole world down if necessary.” Talbot threw it in your face.

“And SHIELD is helping with those issues. We have been since day one of her arrival.”

“Well, if that’s the case, then you have done a bang-up job, Phil.” Sarcasm was leaking from his normally dry words.

“How’s it works? We get added to a list, nothing new. Then what happens?” You asked, looking between the two.

“Fingerprints, DNA samples. We run a power analysis to categorize your threat level. Also used to determine health risks.”

“So, I’m a video game character?” You asked as you stood up.

“Except this is real life, sweetheart.” You smiled at his mocking words.

“Alright, fine. Do what you gotta do.”

“Actually, I don’t think that’s a good idea Y/N.” Coulson spoke up.

“Didn’t I tell you to fuck off? I never really had any, now I do. Do what you gotta do to get me out there.” You said, looking at Talbot.

“You’d still need to rest.” He warned.

“As long as I can see friends, I don’t care. Better than being cooped up. I’m willing to do anything to get out of here. Just tell me what you want to know.” You said, firmly making up your mind.

“I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to keep her here right now, as far away from Daisy as possible.” Coulson continued to try and sway it away from your favour of getting out of here.

“Everyone’s but mine.”

“Alright, if you don’t wanna be here, what’s keeping you from just slashing our throats and walking out of here right now?”

“Control. Trust me, it’s a lot of that. But, I’m also not suicidal enough yet to do that. And, that’s just not me.” Talbot just watched you for a moment, before he made up his mind.

“I’ve seen enough, Phil.” With that, they were gone.

You just hoped it was enough to sell it to Daisy.

 You sat on the chair, chin on palm as you watched the nature screensaver that was now on said screen. Pretty, sure; but you were waiting for a face to pop up on that screen.

A second later, you got that wish, “Y/N.” She said as her face filled the screen. This time, though, her face looked more serious, “Ok, you ready?” She asked.

“Always, kiddo.” You answered, small playful smile on your face. She mirrored it for a second.

“Ok. This is gonna have to be a team effort.” You knew what she was asking of you.

“Alright, first of many times I’m sure. What’d you need?”

It started with pulling away a panel on the wall. As you went to stab it, she stopped you, “No, no, no, no. You idiot.” She chastised you before pointing out the object she needed: Tape dispenser, a pencil, food tray and a piece of broken glass.

She walked you through it; first by interrupting the laser sensor with the piece of glass, then the spool from the tape dispenser, then you got the pencil out and grabbed the food tray.

“The hell is this for?” You asked your sister.

“Him.” As she answered, the door opened and a SHIELD agent went to restrain you; you wacked him with the thing with ease, “Ok, good. Grab his comms and I’ll guide you through the camera’s. You did as ask.”

 She managed to guide you past May by distracting her with lights. However, you weren’t out of the woods yet, as alarms started blaring and you had to pretty much run. As you did, you came across an emergency door that shut right in your face.

“Shit.” You cursed as you turned.

“It’s Fitz, he’s – he’s taken full control of the lockdown.” Daisy informed you.

“So, I’m fucked?” You guessed.

“Not yet, Y/nn. Don’t worry, I’ll get you out.” And she did.

 You had never been in the maintenance room before, but there was a ladder ready to be used. Only issue was, she couldn’t get camera’s up there, so you were on your own.

“In for a penny, in for a pound.” You said as you rolled your shoulders and started to climb up.

“Good luck.” Your sister wished you as you reached the top. It brought you to the hanger. But, as soon as you reached it, you were tackled to the ground.

“Sorry, kiddo. But, can’t let you leave.” Mack told you as he held you back. You struggled, but he tightened his grip.

“I need to get to Daisy!” You yelled as you struggled even more against your friend.

“Not gonna happen, Y/N. Don’t make this any worse. Come back home with us.” He said, trying to sell this epic battle even more.

“I will be!” You yelled as you through your head back into his, before you then punched him.

“Y/N? Y/N, are you ok?” Daisy’s worried voice came over the comms. You grabbed it and put it to your ear.

“I’m good.” You answered. You ran up the ramp of the Quinjet, before sitting in the pilot’s seat.

“Alright, I can get you up and then auto pilot should kick in,” Your sister revealed as it started up, “Can’t wait to see you soon, Y/N.” She sounded genuinely happy by you coming. That’s what made it hurt more.

“Can’t wait either.” You parroted back to her.

 She was back, she was home. However, it wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to hug her, but the soulless and guilt ridden look she gave you made you hesitate. She looked empty and hollow. She didn’t say a word to either of you, just passed you like a ghost.

You looked to Coulson with a teary gaze, gulping back the want to allow them to fall. Your lip trembled as you saw just how much going after her in the first place caused your dynamic to shift in a way that was anything but positive.

If anything, you had ruined it by trying to save and strengthen it. That was what had hurt the most; it wasn’t the fact that she didn’t even consider it a betrayal; it was the tired look she gave you and then just went passed you like you were nothing. Either that, or it was like she was scared that just interacting with you would cause your sibling bond to plummet further.

 You sat in Coulson’s office as he sat opposite you. You were in a state of morning of a bond that seemed to be at its peak. Then again, peaks always had valleys.

You just didn’t think it would either happen this early, or this severely. You didn’t even really care that Hive was now in your possession. Your mind only thought back to all the pain it had caused you and your family; both blood and found. Although, right now, it was only blood.

Coulson just kept his eye on you; he didn’t speak once, only letting you fully figure out what to say before you would do just that.

“I don’t…. I mean….” You looked to the ceiling to try and control your tears, “She…. Jesus Christ.” You finally got out as you covered your mouth and a sob left it.

“Oh my god,” You looked anywhere but at Coulson’s eyes, “Fucking Ward.” You said with a hollow laugh; Christ, the guy never seemed to leave you guys alone,” Even in death, always the showman.”

“Y/N,” you finally looked back up into the soft eyes of someone that had played the role of a father for you and Daisy for a while now, “Do you understand why I can’t have Daisy and you near each other right now?” You nodded, fully understanding.

“I just wanted to do right by her.” You admitted, quietly.

“I know you did.” He decided on that being his response.

“I wouldn’t be any use to her dead.” You knew that to be true. But, after this, you had seen it.

At that moment, alarms blared as Hive had gotten out his containment and had started to change agents into his Inhumans. More importantly, Daisy was confronting him.

You knew that you would want to go up there; but you realised that now it would do worse than good.

“Good luck, Daisy.” You wished your sister.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The others had gathered in the office, and now they were all figuring out what to do with the swayed agents.

Right now, the order was, “Don’t kill them.” And that was an order you could all do. So, you got them all to the Zephier, where you would all have one last stand against them to try and hold them off.

However, Lincoln was there, and he was bleeding, badly. You ran over to him, falling to your knees by your friend as you held his hand. His other hand was then grasped by a different hand. However, looking at the hand, you recognised something on it.

The ring.

You looked up, meeting the teary eyes of your sister as tears freely ran down her face as she looked at the man she loved, and her sister.

You looked to Lincoln nodding and moving with your friends to protect them.

You used your daggers; however, one of them tackled you to the ground. You turned and tried to stab it, but it pinned your arm to the ground. It was shot, before being tackled off you by Mack. Coulson offered you his hand, you promptly took it.

You then noticed your sister missing. You looked to Coulson, who nodded.

 You ran, you ran as fast as you possibly could; you found your sister on the floor. She looked to you with wide eyes, “Y/N, no!” She cried out as you entered the Quinjet. Once you did, your eyes widened at what you saw.

“Lincoln….?” He looked to you.

“Whatever it takes to protect her, right?” He said as he then zapped you, you flew and landed near Daisy. She was instantly on her feet and running to you to make sure you were ok.

When she heard a groan, she took off for the radio. The others arrived and helped you up.

You were then forced to watch a blip disappear, and for Lincoln Campbell to be dead to the world. And to watch as Daisy’s world shattered into too many pieces for you to handle as your own was doing the very same thing.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 You didn’t even leave a goodbye note, you had just left. You had gone too far to try and get Daisy back before; so, you knew that doing the same here wouldn’t work as well. You had been reckless before. You weren’t sure what you’d do this time.

 All you knew, though, was that you had tried to do what Fitz had with Simmons; only for you to then end up like Hunter and create a bigger problem rather than solve the one you could handle.

So, you drank, hoping that this would be the one where you’d drink so much, you’d finally forgot.

You doubted it, however….

#daisy johnson x reader #daisy johnson imagine #agents of shield imagine #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d imagine #agents of shield x reader #sibling duty

[saundraswriting]

Hercules Chapter Three

SUMMARY:The Case continues with some interviews of the victims families. Morgan and Reid work on the Geological Profile. Reid begins pushing himself hard, and Morgan is the one to calm Reid down. It only works for a little bit when the realization hits the entire team that with the lack of connection and the breakthrough Reid finds, Reid will be the one to solve the case by working himself to death.

WARNINGS: Maybe slight self-harm? Spencer is pushing too hard.

Previous // Next

Hotch and Gideon were on their way to Leonard Davis' home. Mrs. Mary Davis, his mother was their interviewee. "Mrs. Davis, are you home? My name is Aaron Hotchner. I am with the BAU at the FBI. I wanted to ask you a few questions." Hotch said loudly.

"Hold your horses. I'm coming. Haven't I answered enough questions? but come in, come in." Mary held the door open, and only Hotch's years of experience prevented his flinch. Her blonde hair was falling out if its clip, she was dressed in a teal cami and black yoga pants. She had deep bags under her eyes and a half empty bottle of gin in her left hand.

"Hello. I'm Mary. If we could hurry this up, I have a lot to do yet." Mary stood by the sink, took a swift swallow of the gin and dumped the rest down the drain. "Self-medication was okay for a little, but time continues on and so should I"

"He was in the top 15 of his class. He was going to do great things I just knew he would. I was so happy to find out that his meds were working and that he liked them. " Mary's voice was as soft as the wind.

"Medications for what?" Hotch asked?

"Depression. His best friend was his sister. She was killed by a drunk driver when she was 16. He was 13. she had left in a hurry when we were fighting over the divorce announcement. After words I sent Leo to a therapist to help with the issues he was going through. I figured it couldn't hurt, right? Turned out he really liked going. Sorted out a lot of problems that Leo was having at the time. Things looked like there were turning up and then he turned 15. He began reading, psychology, sociology, Buddhism, Hinduism.  He would question me randomly, about my thought on God and the state of the world and Creationism among other things. Please remember I wouldn't have even noticed had I not gone into his room the night he was murdered. I saw the books and I understood. Leo was lost and confused, all I did to help was hand him over to a therapist.  I never forced him to go to church with me, I let him return to therapy seeing it may help him. Then 3 weeks later Leo is found strangled to death." Mary sniffed and rubbed her eyes. "Are we done here? I don't want to talk about Leo anymore. I have several appointments today as well. "

"We don't have any more questions for you.  Thank you for your time, Mary. If you need us please call." Gideon said, handing over his and Hotch's card.

"Good day to you as well." Mary walked them out.

Hotch and Gideon arrived at the station a few minutes after Morgan and JJ returned from their interview with Lucy Basset. They walked into Spencer's cave  where coffee cups littered the table.

"Pretty Boy, got anything?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, sit please. I talked to Garcia and if this doesn't check out. then we'll move on. First, you guys; what did you find out?" Spencer pointed to the seats round the table.

"Ophelia resents the fact that her dad died. vocally questioned God. Mom is on meds and Ophelia's been running the household since she was 16." Morgan explained.

"Leo was a great student. Was in therapy for the divorce + death of his sister. Leo was researching psychology, sociology, Buddhism, and Hinduism. He was vocal but not drastically so." Gideon explained. Reid's eyebrows rose but wrote the observations in the notes taped to the wall opposite of the maps.

"Ophelia refused to light the candle of her father's shrine Lucy made. Besides that, I am not seeing any family involvement." JJ mentioned.

"Which makes sense considering the amount of violence the victims suffered But it wasn't torture becasue it wasn't for a period of time, the cause of death is the only wound on them. So not a sadist, not family, does that mean we have a run-of-the-mill serial killer whose delusional we need to crack?" Morgan ground out through his teeth, frustrated.

"I may have suspects. It's a long shot but worth a try. Garcia found two people in the 20 Mile radius of the image the relevant sites make that have RR as their initials. I labeled and mapped out the relevant places: Potential kill site based of distance, the dump sites and family homes. When I get the actual kill sites I can narrow it down more-anyway-I feel like I'm missing a link, a piece to the puzzle. The map isn't looking right at all. I did the locations in order from oldest murder to most recent and in crime order so family home to kill site to dump site. It will get more accurate with more information. I know that with the mass of uncertainties that we have right now, this is going to take a while but it is the biggest help we have. Feel free to look in here if you need anything, this map will update as I get information. I will keep working on this. There may be a pattern." Spencer rambled quickly. He gulped out of his coffee cup.

"Sirs and madame, we have the official kill sites now. Forensics gave us a very close locale adn we checked them out to get the exact coordinates. I have them for you Agent Reid." A uniform handed out a list of places to each of the BAU.

"Come here." Reid demanded. The two consulted the map for a few quiet moments and then the purple marks were moved. Reid's key gained a new color: Orange for new information and the black got changed to permanent. The team took the pause to gather their thoughts. Morgan used the table speaker to call Garcia.

"Garcia, any new info on our possible suspects"

"Well, hello, to you too, Chocolate Bar."

"Hey mama. Please give me something good."

"Well you are down to one. Numero dos has been found in jail-GTA. Numero uno is worth a shot." She rattled of an address. Hotch jotted it down and left.

"Pretty Boy, anything else?" Morgan asked.

"No! Damn it, this case is residing on my ability to crunch numbers and find a pattern, on my geological profile. And I can't make rhyme or reason." Spencer ranted. Morgan grabbed Spencer and herded him out of the room.

"Break time. Get some coffee, sit and breathe, Spencer." Morgan began making a cup, pulling hazelnut creamer out of the fridge.

"No, Morgan! I need to get back in that room. This profile. is the only thing going for this case right now. There is no vicitmology, no sexual sadism, we really can't form a normal profile." Reid stated. He sipped at his coffee, eyes widening at the taste.

"Spencer, calm down man. you'll go into a anxiety attack if you keep worrying like this. Listen to me, everything will be fine. Ask a local uniform to get the distances if they can. After that begin your in-depth look at everything. You are fine, you're doing great. Chill out a little." Morgan soothed.

"Morgan, you wouldn't have but hazelnut creamer into my coffee, would you? Thank you, I don't deserve a friend like you. But right now, even the smallest pieces of paper, the smallest connection can help us." Spencer said.

"You can go back in, if you calm down. Promise me?" Morgan pleaded. Spencer nodded and sipped his coffee slowly.

Morgan  stood near Spencer, silent and still as a sentinel. He had a bad feeling about this case and they still had one family to interview.

"Morgan, Reid, I'm gonna visit the Brown's. Garcia said that Tabitha Well's parents are drug addicts won't be any help. They are in rehab and the program forbids visitors." Gideon said. Morgan nodded and helped Spencer stand straight. He was swaying slightly. Spencer yawned deeply. Morgan felt his concern for his friend grow.

"Let's go. We can get started looking at the G.P. Can I have a uniform please?" Morgan said. Matthew stepped forward. The trio walked into the map room.

"We need the exact distances between each point on this map. As soon as possible, please." Spencer paused "And each victim's personal effects. Tell me that you did search their rooms and houses." Spencer said.

"I believe so, at least as much as the families allowed. I'll be right back." Matthew smiled timidly at Spencer before leaving.

"Hey, man. Mr. Matthew is into you. You gonna jump on that?" Morgan teased. The name tasted sickly sweet and tangy on his tongue like new metal.

Spencer sighed and shook his head at Morgan's antics. He appreciate the never-ending support he had gained from the team when he came out as gay months ago. JJ and Garcia had been enjoying it the most though, they spent the evenings at the clubs and bars checking out the men and finding dance partners for the girls.

"I don't do case relationships. You know that. Why aren't you hitting Maddie up? She seems into you." Spencer shot back.

"No. I'm not, uh, feeling it now." Morgan answered. Spencer side-eyed him but didn't push the issue. Morgan exhaled in relief.

"So, I am thinking about the connection between victims will be unorthodox in comparison to a 'normal' serial killer. It will be something in common with the age group. 14-20 year olds- teenagers. Maybe they are in favor of a controversial topic. one of their generation's problems brought them all to the attention of the killer." Spencer rambled, writing under the victims: Atheism.

"Okay, they are high-school to college students from messed up homes all vocal about something their generation is facing. Drugs? Legalization of weed is a big problem, Colorado, Washington and the District of Colombia all legalized recently. Maybe the UnSub didn't want it legalized and saw them using in the open?" Morgan questioned aloud.

"Today, 90% of teenagers don't do drugs-including weed-, smoke tobacco, underage drinking. The majority of people gunning of marijuana legalization believe it is a victimless crime and unlike other substances aren't full of horrible chemicals. So no, that isn't it, I think. Not drugs, not war, not environment...Gay rights?" Spencer looked over at Morgan.

"Back up, boy wonder. Why not war and environment? And why write down Atheism?" Morgan's confusion drew Spencer's gaze once more.

"If our UnSub was against the current War, don't you think that there would have been something majorly different in his behavior? People that make statements dealing with War or politics blow coffee shops up, gas stations, malls. Large, obvious signals. If the victims were on either side, it would have been obvious even for the uniforms here. If it was environmental issues, they would have home set-ups: recycling on a very detailed scale, composting, gardens, homemade snacks, re-purposing of things. So far each victim has dealt with a devastating death close to them. When that happens, people in general turn to God, but each person in this case has turned away from God at some point at some level. A typical problem with many people of this age group is coming out to people that matter and if they will be accepting or rejected. So it could be both but from what I have heard about the families, victims, and their lives none were open or closeted Bisexuals, or Homosexuals. I am heavily leaning towards Atheism. We will know for sure when Matthew comes back with the evidence." Spencer rambled quickly, his words practically attached to one another. Morgan tilted his head and shrugged, agreeing with the young genius.

"Dr. Reid. I have the evidence you requested. Unfortunately we don't have anything to give you for distances. When we looked on G.I.S technology and the ones we used varied, so we validated the coordinates for you to calculate." Matthew explained from the doorway.

"Damn it. That is going to take me a while. Okay-Morgan go outside and sort through the evidence. Use social media of any type, journals, diaries, photos, to see if there is anything relevant or strange. I need to not be bothered while I do these calculations, they are going to be extensive." Spencer ordered, He turned to the map. He stilled, body tightening with a laser-like focus. Morgan chuckled softly and herded Matthew out the door.

"Okay. You heard Spencer. Lets get cracking. He is gonna work himself death on this. We can at least help." Morgan spoke to Matthew and the three other volunteers he had gathered along the way. Everyone grabbed a different tub and began sifting through the journals, pictures, and printed pages from social media.

************

Gideon arrived at the Brown's home. He knocked and patiently waited to be invited in. "Kimberly Brown? My name is Jason Gideon. I am an agent of Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. I have a few questions for you and you family. I shouldn't be too long." Gideon said entering the well designed home.

"Okay, Agent Gideon. I have a few minutes to talk. Come on in." Kimberly was dressed in a pencil skirt and blue button up shirt.

"I just want to know how Everett was before he died. How was he in school. Did someone close to him die?" Gideon asked. Kimberly grabbed two glasses and filled them with ice and water.

"Everett was a good student. Not the greatest, but he did well with football and baseball pre-seasons, season, and off-seasons. He was the star Quarterback for three years and and the star pitcher for two. He loved it. We were immensely proud. He was working on the final things to be ready for Oregon State University to play football for them and go into business and economics. It was the best thing that happened to us." Kimberly said. Gideon noticed that her tone was rather practiced and empty.

"Who were talking to? Cause that wasn't my brother. He did football for so long becasue you would disown him if he did. He wanted to be a doctor, Pediatrician specifically. He wasn't going to play at OSU. He decided his grades would be more important. Everett loved science. He never made a decision without thinking all the variables through." A male voice from the door said.

"Cameron. Enough." Kimberly snapped harshly.

"He wrote me letters-emails really. I brought them with me. Some were really strange, written in a code or something? I'm not sure. With Mom into fashion design and Dad into the stocks, Everett really didn't have anyone to turn to. So he vented to me. He would even write the first word of the subject line: Ventilation so I knew not even to open those ones. I did sometimes anyway. I go to Columbus for English and History. I am a novelist. I felt that he may not want a response but he deserved to get one." Cameron explained nervously.

"Can we have those? They would be marvelous help. I know he recent death must be difficult but this could help find the murderer." Gideon pointed out. Cameron nodded his consent.

"I can show you his room? I know that the police would have taken things they found relevant, but the BAU is different, isn't it?" Cameron ignored his mother's protests and showed Gideon to Everett's room. The room was tidy, shelves and cube organizers were everywhere. Everything had a place but it seemed that the items didn't return instantly to its place. The room had small stacks of books here and there, probably from the overflowing bookshelf. The clothes were in the hamper, and the walls covered in pictures and collages. "We traveled a lot. Everett believe even if he was a science man, he should be creative with something. called it Art therapy. He did these all himself." Cameron explained.

"I am sorry. We work hard to stop these people but more just slip right through." Gideon looked around and on the desk saw a piece of paper with what looked to be gibberish. He picked it up to look closer.

"That may be true, agent Gideon. but at least you try. Hey, that is what the strange messages looked like." Cameron waved at the paper. Gideon put it in an evidence bag and nodded at Cameron.

"Thanks Cameron. We will keep you posted. If you need anything here's my card. Also at the police station." With that Gideon showed himself out, noticing the two cups from earlier were gone as was Kimberly. He continued to the station.

***********

"Okay, gather round, I've got something." Gideon said upon arrival.

"Me too. And Reid is working and said to not be disturbed. I will fill him in." Morgan said. A shout from the map room had them racing.

"Sorry. I just finished all those distance calculations. I had to do the distance between homes and kill sites, kills sites and dump sites, and homes to dump sites. I also did places last seen when they applied and kill sites. And the distances between the homes of the victims for information. That was 20 intricate equations. I had to validate each coordinate with my info and the police to make sure it was right....and I'm rambling." He cut himself off at Morgan's look.

"What did you find out Reid?" Hotch demanded.

"That it isn't a number compulsion. Each distance is different. And the points aren't making a closed shape, in any order. I rearranged this 6 different times but nothing made sense. I think I am missing a location. Or the homes isn't where they were picked from. Any evidence support home break-ins?" Spencer asked. Hotch shook his head. "So, it isn't the home that are important. That isn't the grab site. I need coffee." Spencer's stomach growled.

"And food maybe?" Morgan commented.

"I will be fine. Give me some more time and coffee and I will have more." Reid said leaving the room.

"Wait, you're a genius but you haven't had a breakthrough? What good are you?" Someone said sardonically. Reid and the rest of the team froze instantly; Reid from terror-that tone brought back awful memories and the team from reacting to Reid's tense body language. JJ and Morgan felt murderous.

"I am a genius, maybe-if an IQ of 187 reading 20,000 words per minute, holding three PhD.s, two bachelor degrees and working on a third is considered genius. But I don't like measuring intelligence with numbers and such. People refer to me as a genius, if that helps. I have just crunched out 120 intricate equations, 20 for each of the 6 different order I have arranged them trying to find a pattern. In my head. From this conversation alone I can tell your life story and I am trying to do the same for someone I have never met and leave me dead people to examine. I think what progress I and my team has made is more than you and your colleagues. Now, I was being nice, pleasant even. If this happens again, I can't guarantee that the two fully-certified murderous looking agents behind me won't do you bodily harm. So do me, you and everyone a favor and sit down and shut up." Spencer sassed. The room was deadly silent. Morgan couldn't (didn't) stop the proud smug look from settling on his face. His Pretty Boy just went Alpha Male on the local bully and Morgan couldn't be happier.

In the quiet Spencer made his coffee and returned to his room. He settled in a chair and rubbed at his temples drinking his coffee. Morgan looked in quickly and returned to JJ. "JJ, can you order some food. I don't know when the last time he ate was. He and us need something, anything. His sugar is getting high, too much sugar in one cup let alone several pots. Gideon, Hotch, I have something to share. Reid needs to hear this as well." the trio commented they'd be there in a minute.

Spencer stood in the middle of the room, hugging himself and trembling. Morgan stepped in close after shutting the door.

"Hey, Spence. You did awesome out there. You went all alpha on him and it rocked his world. Come on, sit down. You are fine. No one is gonna hurt you. I'm right here. He was an asshole and deserved the chewing out you gave him." Morgan sat Reid down and gave him a tight hug, exaggerating his breaths, trying to get Reid to catch on. Reid did, calming down slowly.

Spencer tensed slightly at the beginning of the hug but quickly reveled in the warm, human contact. Morgan and JJ and Garcia may touch him often and Gideon and Hotch less often but no one hugged him like this. He usually got fleeting touches, faint and quick as a butterfly's wing beat. Morgan may touch him the most but only claps on the shoulder, fingertips to a wound's dressing, a  guiding hand on his elbow. No one ever touched him like this; with love and kindness, with the purpose to comfort and share your troubles. 'Isn't that the purpose of hugs in difficult times? To share your burdens with a second pair of shoulders? To share your space with another human, to make the world more bearable?' Spencer thought. He opened his (when did they close?) closed eyes and caught a swirly ray of the sun covering part of Morgan's neck. He knew from tracing Morgan's with his eyes and his own with his fingertips the eight outer swirls and the larger middle one from memory, seeing it this close made Spencer anxious for reasons he didn't know.

Morgan felt Spencer stop trembling but tense up. Morgan only squeezed tighter. He was confused about his reactions to the young genius as of late. He could barely tolerate seeing the look of awe and admiration in Matthew's eye when Spencer spoke in general, the look only got worse with direct communication. Morgan didn't even really understand why he felt so protective of Reid either. He understood as friends you try to protect one another but Morgan was ready to tear the asshole from earlier (Thomas)'s head off so thinking so little of the genius. Morgan wanted to make sure Spence was cared for-eating healthy and sleeping right. He wanted to be the one to administer the human contact he knew Spencer needed. Not just the fleeting touches he gave out but hugs, wonderful hugs that lessened the pressure Reid felt from the world. He wanted to be near Spencer if only to watch him think then so be it. Morgan never felt this way about anyone before. He knew that this was beyond friendship he was feeling but wasn't sure what it was he felt for the Boy Wonder.

"Thank you Morgan. I needed that. I was really scared. I thought he might hit me." Spencer said as they broke apart.

"Do you need any help? I am not sure what I can do but I can sure as hell try." Morgan glanced around and realized that with the case looking the way it was, Spencer would be the one to solve it. He would synthesis the evidence, he would be the one to get the breakthrough, he would be the one ending up overworked, overstressed, malnourished and fatigued.

"No, I've got it. could you get me some...uh...food? Please?" Spencer asked hesitantly. Morgan laughed.

"JJ is already on it. We will give you updates if we get anything. I will be around if you need anything. Just take your time and work you magic. I found something earlier, I was going to tell Hotch and Gideon right now. You keep working. If we need you I'll get you." Morgan left and stepped to the right of the doorway, seeing Hotch and Gideon standing there.

"We believe these texts to Leo, Tabitha, Ophelia, Everett, the emails from Everett to Cameron, the diary of Ophelia are written in a code. We also believe that the note you got from Everett's room was the key. I think he was a recent addition to whatever group uses this code, no one else had a key. We need to use the  key to crack the code. Does anyone want to try?" Morgan asked Hotch and Gideon.

"Neither one of us would be able to do it in a timely manner. We know you are terrible with codes and riddles, Morgan. That leaves Reid and Garcia. JJ is having a rough time with the press right now." Hotch mused.

"Bring it all in here. You know that I am the best and really the only option."Reid called from his room.

"No, Spence, you have enough to do Garcia may have a program she can run." JJ said.

"You have to break the code first and then give it to her or she has to run all her programs on it. I can read 12 languages and am pretty smart I can at least break it quick. Hand it over." Reid strode out, sleeves rolled up and pen spinning in circles. A different persona than when he is calculating something where he has a specific formula and direct end goal, this is thinking-trying one idea to reject it and go to another. He needs to be loose, have no end goal planned.

Spencer began pacing and muttering, spinning his pen and pausing every once and while when a train of thought might lead somewhere. 15 minutes in and he stopped and looked up.

"It's pig latin." He said awestruck. Morgan internally sighed at the tone, it was usually followed by a statistic or random or obscure facts. Morgan wasn't wrong. "The single-page is a cheat sheet for most common transitions between English and Pig Latin. I mean a large number of the population can say they have heard of Pig Latin, smaller percentage say they have heard it, and an even smaller portion say they have ever spoken a word of Pig Latin. This is a great idea. It also means that whoever this correspondence was from or to is smart and manipulative. He had to know and be able to teach these kids Pig Latin, and to get them to use it willingly when talking about this group without brainwashing or violence is no easy feat. If they write in code then no sneaky parents will understand if they accidentally see it. Garcia should be able to help, I can if she can't." Spencer handed back the cheat sheet and return to his lair of maps and used coffee cups.

"Hey, man. None of them were open or closeted Bisexuals or Homosexuals. Leo and Ophelia were openly Pro-gay rights but I don't know about the others." Morgan said to his retreating back. Reid paused and turned.

"Nothing of relevance. So I was wrong. That word is around me more in the case than my life.  But at least we aren't dealing with homophobia or something, those cases are touch and go. So it has to be Atheism. We are dealing with religion." Spencer saw Hotch's mouth open. "No, I don't know what that means, but we have something. We can work with something. Give me some time to think." Reid walked in and shut his door.

"That kid is going to kill himself with this case." Morgan murmured. The others consented their agreement.

Previous // Next

*******************************************************************************************

Okay, The focus of the fic shifts from here. This isn’t a case fic so to speak, it is a soulmate au fic. So be prepared for that. 

#saundrasays #saundraswriting #dr. spencer reid #derek morgan #spencer x derek #spencer reid x derek morgan #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfiction #Hercules fic #cm fanfiction #cm #morgreid

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Dancing lessons

Barry Berkman x reader

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, guns, cheating maybe.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Part 3

The cheerful notes of the Pas de deux of Swan Lake's third act started to play and you were all alone in the studio, the girls had been practicing to that and it was still in the record player, you were liying on the floor, and your pointe shoes were next to you.

Barry have left about fifteen minutes before leaving your head troubled with his words. After on long hour of practice he was finally getting somewhere with the slower rhythms of tango, but there was a long way ahead of him to learn his routine.

Tired he sitted on the wooden floor looking at himself in the mirror, and you went to sit next to him.

"Well that's an improvement" You told him and he gave you a nod, and a smile while he tried to catch his breath "You should be proud, is more than I expected"

"It's all you, you are an excellent teacher" He said sincerely "I just hope all this work is worthy"

"Worthy or not I still get paid" you wink at him and stood up giving him a hand to do the same.

"Of course, I meant..." He took your hand, and stood next to you "I accidentally listen to Janice and Andre fighting on the phone, and it sounded like they were removing the scene, I mean I had the other scenes but I don't want to know I have spend the last 5 days rubbing Voltatrol on my calf and knees for nothing"

"Well I wouldn't say for nothing, you have learned a new skill and I'm sure you may take your girlfriend out to dance and she would appreciate it"

"Yeah, once she is not busy" he sounded hurt, but you didn't feel it was your place to ask, and didn't needed because he kept talking "I mean I know that she is working on something she loves, and I'm proud of her and I love her but..."

"You wish she had more time for you?" You asked, interested since this was the first real personal conversation you had with him.

"Yeah, you know. More like you" He said and you gave him a very confused look "Well you and your husband, I wish we were like that" he added nervously.

"Like what?" Sick of each other to stubborn to quit your mind said but your face continued smiling.

"Well you work in something you love, and you are really good at it, and I always have the feeling that I'm not enough for Sally, is not like she says it, is just that she always have something more important, and I fear one day she will found someone more important than me" You nodded with your lips extremely closed trying not to be mad at him since you actually didn't know him. "Also you work at home that's good too" the innocence on wich he said it made you furious for some reason.

"You had no idea what you are talking about" you told him, again trying to not sound too harsh and not succeeding "Lesson is over you can leave"

"What? No, I meant it as a compliment, you have the best job..."

"Shut it!" You scream and he looked shock at you "I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell, but that's just stupid you know? I don't mean to offend you, but you are at a studio 6 to 7 hours every morning surround by beautiful actresses, and here two hours every day with a woman basically rubbing on you, think about that for a second" You told him but he didn't say anything "If she didn't have her show, and she had to sit at home waiting for you, I bet you would not consider you are letting her down"

"Well no, because..." He started but you make it shut down with a movement of your hand.

"Because you are the big guy, the man, the one allowed to have dreams and follow them even if you have to put other people's needs apart. Maybe think about that and then you can talk" You notice your chest going up and down quickly and you were thankful you were still on the heels because on your normal level you would have look ridiculous screaming at someone that tall.

"That's what people call toxic masculinity isn't it?" He asked, surprisingly calm

"Get out" You said pointing at the door and turning your back at him

"Yeah, I thought so" He said and pick up his stuff without going to change back to his regular clothes "Same hour tomorrow?" He asked by the door

"Of course" You said and with that he was gone.

As the third act was coming to his end and you could clearly picture in your mind Odile and Rothbart entering the palace, you stood up and put on the shoes, Barry was wrong of course, in expecting a servant woman as a partner, but that was not what hurt you, you made a bow to an invisible Siegfried and make a couple movements to get loose, Mr. Block dare to say that you were happy? Well at least your deception was working and you look like you were, and like you love that job, Odil's coda started and you start making fouettés, one and you could feel your leg shaking but you continued, even when you were moving from your place and in no way at the speed that you wanted, two, three... by the sixth you were sure you could get to twenty, but then at the ninth that old damaged ankle gave in and the stinging pain made you tremble and fall to the ground, but it was okay because once the sharp edge of a chair broke into your skin and everything went black you were no longer thinking about it.

***

About ten minutes after he left the studio, Barry's brain struggled to understand why does Y/N had taken what he said so personally, was then when he realized he was hungry and turn his car to go to the nearest In-N-Out, he searched for his wallet and couldn't find it, Fuck he thought knowing it must be still at the studio with probably his hoodie since he didn't have it either, he made another turn hoping to still find the woman there. The music he could hear when he approached and the lights coming from inside suggest him she was still there.

"Y/N I know you are mad, but I leave my wallet here..." He said opening the door and froze in his place "Jesus, Y/N are you okay??" The women's body was in the floor, with her head over a small pool of her own blood, and next to her one of the chairs covered with her blood too making evident what have happened.

The cut on her head was small, and when he checked on her she still had pulse but was unconscious, and not responding so he carried in his arms back to his car and drove to the closest ER he could find.

"Help please!" He screamed with her in his arms and her blood covering his hands. "She was dancing and fall, she hit her head with a chair" He said to the two nurses that come at his encounter "She is not waking up..." He was agitated and he wanted to scream for them to move faster.

"Hey, hey sir calm down, come on deep breaths" a doctor said once she was in a stretcher and after checking her pupils to be okay, "what's your name sir?" She asked putting a hand on his shoulder and speaking in a calming voice.

"Berkman, I mean, Barry Berkman" He was trying to breath but there was a knot in is chest tightening more every second.

"Ok Mr. Bearkman, go with nurse Joaquin and help him fill some forms and we will take care of her, ok?" Barry nodded and let the nurse to take him away. He filled the forms mechanically not even sure he was putting on them and finally sit on the waiting room. He covered his face with his hands and he saw they were still covered in blood and the memories of the last time he had been in a hospital started rushing to his head like wild horses.

Mr. Cousineau knew, he was sure Fuches had told him the truth about Moss and was trying every day after the arrest to talk to him, and he tried his best to avoid him, he even skip a couple classes until it was impossible to ignore it anymore.

On the other hand the look for Fuches was a waste of time, any rat hole he was hiding in was too hard to locate, and since Hank was back at Chechnya he had no assets to help him.

One night Gene invited Sally and him to have dinner at his lake house again, an obvious set up since they have barely crossed words in the last two months, but after the massacre and the damage he was sure he had caused he felt like it was time to face the truth and find a solution. After all Gene was not Janice, and he was sure they could get to an arrangement.

Sally went to sleep and they were left alone in the livingroom, Mr. Cousineau had a glass of whiskey in his hand and signaled the door with a head gesture, and Barry walked outside with him.

"It would have been nice you know?" He started once they were by the lake. "Growing old here, just me and her, that's all I wanted." He was looking at the water and Barry was behind him just patiently listening. "I kept repeating that night in my mind, over and over again, for so long and it never occurred to me to think about you" Barry's eyes were fighting back tears since Cousineau was standing right where she was that night "But in all fairness you had told me already what you used to do for a living, I just didn't listen" He turned around and a small silver revolver was in his hands.

"Gene calm down, let's talk about this" Barry started knowing all too well that the old man would shoot his own foot before he could aim at him.

"Why don't you do it one more time?" He asked and took the gun by the barrel and gave it to him.

"Mr. Cousineau what are you talking about?" He asked perplex.

"My life is meaningless Barry, I have no longer reason to live without her and even when I hate to admit it Leo being back in my life is just not enough, so since you owned me this do it, take my life like you took hers" He put the gun in Barry's hand an point to his head "Just do it"

"Are you insane? Sally is in the house" Barry let go from his hand and put the gun down "Where did you get this?"

"Is mine, I bought it to kill you, but I can't do that, I'm too much of a coward, I don't even have te courage to kill myself, that's why I need your help" His voice was calmed and a monotone, but his eyes reflected a broken man and Barry feared he might convince him.

"Let's get inside, we can talk about this later ok?" He said taking his hand, and the man followed him like a sheep.

"You'll have to do it at some point, I haven't told the police but I might" he said once they were on the house, and he walked to his room leaving Barry alone in the dark.

A couple weeks later Fuches broke into his apartment, he looked sick, skinnier, with several scars and open wounds on his face. Apparently the Chechens blamed him for the massacre in the monastery and he managed to make a deal to bring him to them.

"And why would I go?" He asked once he was tied to a chair "Do you really thought you could take me?" He asked, not to brag but he was in terrible shape and it didn't cost him much to subdue him.

"Oh I knew I couldn't, what I need is your help to flee the country, they know you want to kill me, if they think I failed and that you did they would leave me alone" He said, and he was no longer the man Barry used to know, he was erratic and completely disturbed.

"What if actually kill you and we end this for once?" He said and pointed his gun at him.

"You wouldn't, you don't want to, I have followed you, you live your life like the happy little lep dog of that blondie, and that's fine. You don't want to unleash the real Barry again, and I'm counting with that" He said and Barry got angry because he was right. He left him go without accepting his offer, but he was sure he will came back.

The days passed and he was holding on to the hope both men will drop their "plans" and since Mr Cousineau was becoming a granddad and he was offering a big party he believed at least he had.

The morning of the party Gene asked him to help him buy some party supplies and he gladly accepted, by two in the afternoon they were loading the car with bags and talking about the new baby in the almost empty parking lot.

"Barry, do you remember what I asked you?" He said after putting in the las bag.

"I do, and the answer is the same, it won't happen" he said frowning.

"And I hope it doesn't, the thing is, you don't know how great life is until you know it, I mean I'm giving a baby shower for a woman I barely know because she is having my granddaughter"

"That's great, I'm sure Leo is thankful for that" Barry was not completely sure of why he was saying, so he asked. "And now what, are you telling the police?"

"Oh jesus no, that's a lot more trouble, and that won't be enough punishment for you, I want you out of the class, forever. After the party, you'll make a brilliant excuse and you will leave us alone" It was obvious he had rehearse that speech because he was not even looking at Barry who was about to replicate when the sound of a laugh make them turn around.

"Oh look the little actor guy is breaking up with you" Fuches said, he had a gun in his hand and was aiming at Barry.

"You??" Gene asked recognizing the so called Detective that had showed him Janice's body, and told him about Barry "what else do you want from me?" He ask with his voice about to break.

"Absolutely nothing, but since our boy here is not responding to diplomacy I thought a little pressure may help, now Barry be a good sport and come with me or" He said and got closer to Gene still pointing the gun at him.

"Fuches stop this man, leave him alone, he is not part of this" Barry tried to reason with him "Let's talk about this, leave him alone and I'll figure out a way to help you, come on man" He started to come closer, and tried to move Gene away from Fuches.

"You really need to know who is in charge here Barry" Fuches said and shoot the gun, it was all so fast, as Gene body fall to the ground and Barry tried to hold him as Fuches was running away, but he didn't bother on follow him, his only concern at that moment was to put pressure on Mr. Cousineau wound and wait patiently for the ambulance to arrive.

"Is going to be ok, don't close your eyes, just hold on" He said while he dialed 911 on his phone "Hi, my... my friend has been shot, outside Ralphs on Venice Boulevard"

"That really hurts you know? I don't know why would I tell yo to do that to me, but in the end you didn't, isn't it funny Barry?" He said before losing conciousness.

The lights of the ambulance came a couple minutes later, and they drove him to the ER, they asked him a couple questions and send him to the waiting room, he sited and waited for Leo and Sally to get to the hospital, he waited as he went into surgery, and he waited until the doctor come out to tell them he was out of surgery. The story they told was that some burglar tried to stole the car from them, and since the cameras on the supermarket recorded Fuches coming at them it was believable.

He spend every afternoon outside work in that hospital for the next week helping Leo take care of his dad. And even when Mr. Cousineau was thankful for his gesture he end up leaving the class when he came out of the hospital, hoping that being apart from him was enough to prevent more damage.

And now here he was, again waiting, again with blood on his hands, just that this time it was not his fault, the doctor came out a couple minutes later and walked him to her bed, they had shave part of her hair and put some stitches to stop the bleeding, and she was now awake, talking very animated with a nurse.

"And then you just add as much mozzarella as you want Abby" Y/N said and finally looked at Barry approaching to her bed.

"Well it sounds delicious, I would definitely try it. Thanks Y/N" The nurse saw the doctor and immediately walked away.

"Well apparently you are doing better Mrs. Berkman, but I still prefer for you to stay here for a couple more hours just to make sure you don't have a concussion" The way she addressed her took Barry by surprise but he didn't say anything.

"Do I have to? I'm fine, it was just a bump on the head, and you already fix that, and gave me a edgy haircut thanks for that" She responded, not bothering to correct her, wich was a surprise for Barry.

"Ok, let's do this, your husband can take you home, but you can't go the sleep, stay awake for at least the next 12 hours, and if anything happens in that time you can call me ok?" She said writing her number in a piece of paper and giving it to Barry "I'll make someone take this off" She signaled the IV on her arm and walked away.

"Ok hubby let's go" She winked at Barry once they were done with the paper work and inside Barry's car.

"Why didn't you said anything?" He asked starting the engine.

"Because they would have called Alan and since he is in Texas in a business trip I would have to stay the night there waiting for him to fly back so they could discharge me" She said like it was not a big deal "and don't worry I put my on social security number, so the bill won't be a problem."

"So your apartment is empty?" He asked thinking about what the doctor said.

"It is, but don't worry I can stay awake" She smile at him.

"Bullshit, I'll stay with you, at least until you are clear to sleep" He said and she let go a little chuckle.

"Oh look at you, what a nice husband" the comment almost make him blush but he focused on the road. "Fine let's go, we could find something to do for the next twelve hours"

I'm so sorry I didn't post this yesterday but I got the flu and I feel like shit, anyway I hope you enjoy this.

@meraki--mei

#barry berkman x reader #barry block #barry hbo #barry berkman #barry berkman x you #barry berkman fanfiction #barry berkman edit #monroe fuches #gene cousineau #janice moss #sally reed #bill hader #barry fanfiction #ballet #swan lake #odile #rothbart #guns #violence #blood #bullet wound

[eurusholmmes]

Love Me Anyway | L.F.

Ignore the fact that this is a FitzSimmons gif, I love how soft he is in this episode. I’m so sad this show is ending. Also, for the purposes of this fic, Natasha is alive! yay!

Prompt: I’m not sure if this is where you request but I was wondering if you could write a Leo Fitz x reader where they go to Scotland to meet his mother and maybe she asks about children but the reader can’t have any due to growing up in the Red Room? If not, that’s okay!

feedback is the reason i keep writing 

Never once in your life had you thought someone would fall in love with you. Or that you would fall in love with that some. You: Trained by the Red Room, a cold blooded murderer with the deaths of innocents all over your hands. They had drilled that into your memory from the earliest that you could remember. Love is a weakness. Attachments are weaknesses, and they will be your doom. 

If your doom was to come in the form of a man named Leopold Fitz, you would welcome death with open arms. 

He was wary of you at first, as he should’ve been. Simmons had died under his care and it had taken him years to learn how to trust people after the AOS had disbanded, but you’d caught his eye almost as soon as he’d gotten back to London on his layover back to Scotland. Back home. 

Dressed in a floral print jumper with white sandals to match, you tightly gripped the handle of your suitcase and took off without a hitch towards your departure gate. You were supposed to be on a mission. A mission with a target and someone to eliminate - 

And all traces of a coherent thought went out the window when you crashed into him and landed, rather hard, on your side. Under different circumstances you would’ve considered yourself embarrassed for being so oblivious to your surroundings, and then you met his apologetic gaze and everything came back into focus. 

  “My apologies, sir. I really must watch where I’m going.” 

  “Not a problem at all, Miss.’’ He extended his hand as a means of assisting you in standing up, and you would’ve been a fool not to take it. He was so warm. Warm and alive and standing close enough that you could feel the slight tremor that plagued the fingers laced through your own. “It’s a nice view from where I stand.” 

He’d said his name was Leopold Fitz, and he’d disappeared for another three years without a word. Your S.O. was enraged that you’d let your guard down enough to let a former SHIELD operative escape, but that didn’t deter you from your new mission: Escaping the Red Room and the past you were desperate to leave behind. 

Natasha Romanoff was a blessing in disguise. She housed you and constructed a new identity. She gave you another chance at life, and you couldn’t thank her enough. Nat simply smiled and told you to pursue whatever you felt made you happiest. 

That was how you found yourself chasing the footprints of one Leopold Fitz, ex-SHIELD agent, and ghost. He was hard to find. 

Your paths eventually crossed in a tiny cafe during a storm in London. You caught sight of him first - soaking wet and panting - as he ducked into the cafe you’d been occupying to finish your conversation with Natasha about your excursion to find him. 

  “Y/N?” 

You smiled softly and tapped the table. “Leopold Fitz,” You greeted. He stepped through the crowd and shook the water from his coat before taking a seat across from you. Three years had done wonders to his physique, and his eyes.. They lacked the same light you’d seen in that airport. “You’re a hard man to find.” 

  “It’s a good thing I’ve been found then, isn’t it?” 

Science didn’t interest you. Nothing of the sort did. But somehow you found yourself totally enamored just by the sound of his voice, and that was how you managed to stand two and a half hours worth of conversation with a Scottish man that involved mostly science jargon you didn’t understand. It wasn’t until he began whispering about his past with SHIELD and the love he’d lost that you really began listening. 

  “She was my world, and I lost her. That’s when I left SHIELD. We pretty much disbanded after that.” 

You casually sipped at your coffee as you took in the impact of his story. Whatever had happened to him during his time as a SHIELD agent had clearly impacted him in a much deeper way then he let on. 

  “I’m glad I found you.” You replied. Fitz froze as your fingertips just barely grazed over his own - the ghost of a touch - before you both lifted your gaze to meet the others. “I think you’ll find my story equally as interesting as yours.” 

You fell for him, and you fell for him hard. Hard enough to find yourself constantly worrying about what life would be like without him. Without his little quirks and the things he did that drove you absolutely wild, but you wouldn’t have traded him for anything. 

He had simply grabbed your hand and whispered, “Run.” You didn’t know better. Didn’t know the effects of falling in love, only what had been told to you in the Red Room. 

So you recklessly followed him without a second thought. 

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this. Will she like me? Will she like the fact that I’m with you?” 

Let me remark before we go any further. It’s been a year since you met Leopold in that cafe. Fitz had somehow managed to coax you into traveling with him for his trip back to Scotland to meet his mother, and you’d succumbed without a second thought. 

  “I don’t see why not. She met-” He stops in the midst of nearly saying her name, and your heart aches because it’s been years but you know he’ll always save a part of his heart for Jemma Simmons. “And loved her. If she sees how I feel about you, she’ll come to love you as I do.” 

Love. You never thought you’d hear him say it aloud, much less know he felt that for you. That someone out there in this great big world loved a killer like you. 

  “Thank you.” You took his hand in your own and kissed the bridge of his knuckles. “Thank you for seeing past the Red Room and the missions and the murders-” Part of you thought he’d stop you from continuing right there, but Fitz made no move to silence you. Your eyes flickered out the plane window as you kept talking. “Past all the bad and right to the good. That’s why I love you too. Your humanity, your compassion, it’s the best part of you.” 

He wiggled his eyebrows in reply. “And?” 

  “The curls and bright eyes are equally the best parts of you too, Stud.” 

The hills of Scotland are vast and sloped, and it’s hard not to appreciate the splendor of the country as Fitz never stops talking while leading you through it. Sunlight bears down on the both of you as your car rolls to a stop in front of his family home, and he looks so ethereal bathed in the rays of the sun that you have to stop and take a minute to stare. 

  “You’re staring.” 

  “You’re so stupidly gorgeous it makes my eyes hurt.” 

The smile you’re rewarded with is worth it. 

His mother is all hugs and laughter as she led the two of you deeper into Fitz’s childhood home. There are photos plastered on the walls and the air smells of dinner - some Scottish cuisine you couldn’t pronounce - and the sight of it made something stir deep in your chest because it wasn’t a feeling you’d experienced before. 

The three of you had only just sat down to dinner for ten minutes when she asked the question. It was innocent enough given the length of your relationship, but you’d had no intentions of speaking about kids at this dinner. You simply wanted Mrs. Fitz to like you for who you were. 

  “So are there any grandchildren for myself in the future? It does get rather lonely here without anyone, and I do so miss the company-” 

Fitz didn’t have enough time to stop you before your instincts kicked in and went for the nearest weapon. Your wrist flicked outward and sent the fork in your hand flying through the air only to impale itself into the photo on the wall. Your heart pounded heavily in your ears as the pair of them watched you warily - almost with a touch of pity - before you took off through the front door. 

You’d unloaded your gun before entering the house, but the feel of the weapon in your hands eased your nerves as you stood in the clearing and repeated the motion of unloading and reloading the chamber. Fighting was in your blood. War was built into your DNA. That was why they’d taken the time to sterilize you in the Red Room as a way of congratulating you for passing the rigorous mental and physical exams you’d endured. 

  “Hey-” You couldn’t hear him through the tears that blurred your eyes or the click of your gun, but you felt the weight of his arms looped around your waist and the gentle push that brought your back to his front. “Y/N-” 

The urge to tremble violently sank deep into your bones, and Fitz caught you in his embrace before your knees could give out beneath you. You wound your fingers through the fabric of his shirt and wept so heavily that you felt the hollow ache in your chest. 

  “I-I can’t-” You attempted to speak despite the flood of emotion pouring through you and lifted your eyes to meet his. “Failure- Can’t give you what you want-” 

  “You think I need kids to be happy with you? I know what they did to you in the Red Room. I told you that SHIELD had databases about what happened there and had several incursions with operatives that hadn’t left the organization when it shut down in the 90′s.” Fitz cupped your face in his hand and smiled when you leaned into the warmth that radiated from his palm. “You are the reason why I keep getting up in the morning.” 

  “Fitz-” 

  “You are the reason why I learned how to smile again, to laugh again when everything has been taken from me. I don’t need kids to be happy. I don’t need kids to learn what living is,” He gripped your face just a little bit tighter in his hands. “Because I feel the most alive right here with you. I wouldn’t trade our chance for anything else.” 

For one shining moment, there was no one else in the world. There was no lost love and no past of regrets and wars and blood. It was just a girl and a boy. A girl and a boy who fell in love under difficult circumstances and came together when everything should’ve driven them apart. 

Despite your past, I’ll love you anyway. 

Despite your demons and the fears that keep you up at night, I’ll love you anyway.

 Despite your inner darkness, I’ll love you anyway. 

You smiled and tapped the edge of his nose despite the ache in your chest. Time had healed him. Maybe it would heal you too. 

  “Well then, we better get started.” 

Mrs. Fitz gazed at her son as he chased the love of his life throughout the meadow in front of their family home. She’d only ever wished happiness for her only son, and even though she’d thought he’d obtained it with Jemma Simmons, she could see it clear as day through the smile that overtook his expression. 

The camera shuddered as she clicked the button and produced the polaroid photo in a matter of moments. 

They talk about it decades later from where it hangs on the wall. Mr and Mrs. Fitz are a sight to behold. 

#Leopold Fitz #Leo Fitz #Leopold Fitz x Reader #Leo Fitz x Reader #Agents of SHIELD #Agents of SHIELD imagines #Agents of SHIELD oneshots #Marvel #Marvel imagines #Marvel oneshots #Marvel fanfic #Marvel fanfiction #Agents of SHIELD fanfiction #Agents of SHIELD fanfic

[connywrites]

quicksands of the mind

and the sinkholes you may find

-

content warnings for suicidal ideation, self-harm

He hadn’t wanted to kill himself in a long time. Even on a bad day, he’d tell himself he didn’t want to attempt suicide at all, but the deeper scars in jagged horizontal lines down his forearms reminded him otherwise. There wasn’t much memory with them aside from waking up in the hospital with blurry vision, unable to hear properly while the nurses asked questions, watching him jitter and shake. Watching him dig and pull at his own skin and having to pull him away, just short of restraining him as he wasn’t actually violent and didn’t have enough strength to do any real damage, but having to make sure he’d keep his hands to himself for the rest of the night.

Death, itself, was a far-fetched concept for someone who had always avoided it by the skin of his teeth. Leo had gotten in fights, been mugged, stabbed, smacked, punched, hit, crashed his motorcycle and wound up in the hospital with grave injuries and a permanent limp, taken bullets, and while a fair collection of his scars were self-induced, they were never quite so severe as to what others had done to him. It fed into the idea that he was a coward if he wasn’t brave enough to take it to the next level, but the thought that maybe it was because he simply didn’t want to die had revisited him more than once.

Thus it left him in a battle against himself, in a dark room, surrounded by comfortable blankets, a warm meal and some candles, as Markus made a habit of setting up. His old friends would be jealous; he knew they would because he experienced that exact envy ever since Markus came to be. To be birthed into a perfect world, to live with wealth and gratitude, to want to give and to be given back to, to live with someone that gave and gave and gave so much; the person that was his own father, in a home that could have been his own, with kindness and empathy that he could have had. Love was theoretically a natural deterrence against misery; why would you make the ones that cared about you suffer by letting yourself go, giving yourself the freedom of nonexistent peace while they were left to pick up the ugly pieces? Suicide was the coward’s way out, yet it somehow felt more embarrassing to try and get someone else to do the job, whether they knew your intentions or not.

Carl gave and gave, and he took and took, and Leo had the audacity to be angry when his gentle-hearted father stopped giving, trying to pull it to a full stop 28 years into his life. Well overdue, in his mind. The tears stung his eyes and the knot swelled in his throat, and the nausea welled in his stomach as he remembered everything he’d done. The way he’d spoken to him, the way he torn him and his life down with all of the 5 swear words he seemed to hold in his very limited vocabulary.

You won’t help me, so I’ll just help myself.

A vile, evil person, he’d convinced himself he was long before he could differentiate himself from the drugs. Feeling like a shitty person before he ever hit puberty and long after he’d left his teenage years behind, it took multiple hospital visits, near-death experiences and long nights doing things he’d regret with worse emotions than he’d convinced himself the rage ever was; it took multiple attempts to sober up to differentiate that it wasn’t him at all.

Red ice made him angry, and withdrawals from red ice made him angry. Sobriety left him miserable, and since he’d convinced himself he’d be miserable no matter what, he could certainly allow the excuse to do drugs. To get into fights, to stare down the barrel of a gun while he challenged the trigger finger until it blew, to antagonize and steal and lie and believe that it was all worthwhile in the favor of why wouldn’t I do it, anyway? And life doesn’t mean anything in the end or if I’m going to die young, I might as well make it fun.

None of it was fun. Nothing was worthwhile and it never lasted longer than a burnt soda can with singed ashes resting in the bottomside curve, dripping into the container that’d been full of cola he’d poured down the drain after jabbing the holes, too nauseous to ever consider taking a drink.

Seeing red.

All his life. His mother, his father, his lack of any sort of care-giving whatsoever made it all too obvious that nobody was going to care and subsequently, why should he? His birth was an accident. His mother was paid to raise him, and when the money was gone, so were her patience.

He knew what that was like. Maybe he got it from her. Carl was such a saint with seemingly eternal intelligence and wisdom, he could barely believe they were related by blood. So lead to the delusion between years ten and twenty-two that he might have been – probably was – adopted until he finally couldn’t take it anymore and had to look up the family history.

He was never in the old photographs, his mother too embarrassed to include him in such a thing.

Then again, she didn’t have any pictures of Carl either. He wondered who were in all those photos on her walls were supposed to be, let alone if they ever really meant anything to her.

Photos were artificial, mirrored captures of the past, and why would you hold onto that? He couldn’t think of a moment he’d want to take a picture of, that he was happy about or proud of. He never smiled in the camera – sometimes he glowered into to lens from afar when he was in group photos at the parties, tagged for some kind of crazy escapades he’d taken part in on the social media platforms until those people, too, grew tired of him. Stupid, boring, violent. What’s your problem? What the fuck is wrong with you?

‘What is wrong with me?’ There was a suffocating discomfort as he took in his surroundings, the disassociation spell abruptly ending as he realized where he was again.

Everything. Everything was wrong.

Nothing. The drugs were wrong.

When nothing felt right, he did what he’d always done; left the area to go on a long walk until his legs hurt and he’d exhausted himself, physically and eventually mentally, awake on days-long insomnia binges until his brain couldn’t function. Time wasn’t a fathomable concept to him at the moment so he didn’t bother checking the clock or otherwise identify the surroundings for indications, staggering in a tired daze as he’d walked towards the door.

Leo knew he would be there as soon as he opened it, as Markus had a nature to do – particularly when he was in a bad place. He had no idea if he’d been there the whole time, nearby, or somehow heard his thoughts from across the mansion with his super-sonic bat hearing, but either way, he’d always come even when he wasn’t summoned.

In the past, it was unnerving. Sometimes it was scary. Usually it was annoying.

Tonight, it was nothing short of appreciated.

“Bro,” he murmured with a strain in his voice, something like an agitated whine as he acted outright bothered by his presence.

“Brother,” Markus replied with only slight mock-disdain wrapped within his sincere concern, as he didn’t feel so much like reciprocating whatever deflection Leo was trying to give in regard to his bad mood. Leo may have tried to be secretive about his depression, but the signs were there; from skipping meals, isolation, and losing sleep to the fatigue, lack of ability to focus or concentrate, the way he moved slower on his feet and seemed to be in a daze, how his limp got worse as the aches in his joints increased. How long had Leo showed symptoms that he’d felt this way? Two weeks ongoing. Why? Markus wasn’t sure, only able to shuffle through his library of estimated guesses, and even then, he preferred not to in favor of avoiding the mistake of making assumptions. Leo’s business was his own, and by now, he knew he could share it if he so felt the need.

The tears wasted no time returning to Leo’s swollen, baggy eyes, sclera reddened from the strain of lacking what he physically needed and feeling too many emotions that he didn’t.

Markus opened his arms and he was all too eager to fall into them, letting his body grow weak. Not unlike the way he did the boy’s father, Markus shifted to kneel and prompted Leo to do similarly, curling his arms around the back of his legs while he let his body grow lax, finally able to trust as Markus scooped him up in his arms. Fingers curling into the fabrics of the soft, white cotton sweater, he hid his face into his chest as he let himself be carried away from the room.

For a long time, Leo refused to be looked after, and for a short time, Markus refused to pamper him. Eventually, they’d learned to meld Markus’ natural design as a caretaker, as well as Leo’s neglected internal need to be taken care of. Now, it had nearly come naturally for both of them.

Markus knew the signal for the routine, wandering to the bathroom, ensuring he was gentle as he settled Leo on the stool that he’d returned to the area – it was Carl’s to use when he was brought in for the oral hygiene routine, now left by the bathtub rather than the sink so Leo could sit down without being on the floor as Markus was aware of his exhaustion, always present and ever-increasing. The less energy he used, the better. While Leo settled in the space he was given, Markus leaned to turn on the faucet, adjusting it to a warm temperature but avoiding the hotter end in case of inducing a fever.

“Arms up.” With his head down as he was already half dozing off in his seat, Leo straightened up to look at him through squinted eyes, taking a few seconds to understand the command before doing as he was asked. Careful not to further alarm or hurt him, Markus took the shirt by the hem and pulled it up over his shoulders, then along his arms until it was peeled off.

“Would you like me to?” The subject was touchy, so he never finished the sentence. Leo responded with an awkward nod, crooked as his body swayed. Reaching for the waistband of Leo’s pants to tuck his fingers beneath the rim the same way he had with the sweater, it took a bit of nudging to peel them down and away, his attention focused on Leo’s face for the sake of the man’s own dignity even if he wasn’t entirely coherently aware of the situation. Once the clothes were folded and put to the side, he rose to his feet to reach under Leo’s arms in the proper, harmless way so as to lift him and bring him to the bath.

It was personal, and some might consider it intimate; now, it had become nothing more than natural.

“S’this what it was like with dad?” Feeling the warmth of the bath warm his feet, then his ankles, up to his legs, Leo roused, feeling another bout of tears roll down his cheeks. He wasn’t sure why, losing track of the reason for his despair hours, days, weeks ago.

“Somewhat,” Markus replied simply. Leo was in no condition to make conversation, but he also respected the fact it seemed to help him to speak. With his hands making way to the water, Leo watched the flow of transparent liquid, feeling a bit more awake from the sensations and temperature change.

“I loved him. I really did.” That was why he was crying, and the waterworks were only encouraged by his increasing depression. Settling on the floor next to the tub in a comfortable position, Markus reached forward to thumb the tears from his cheeks – an impractical gesture as he knew they wouldn’t stop, but a useful one as Leo would appreciate the heartfelt action.

“I know.”

No, you don’t, his mind argued, but his mouth was too tired and his head was too sore. Markus caught on.

“There is more to you than what you did in the past,” Markus reminded him, neglecting the use of who you were as he was well aware that Leo’s negative personality aspects were stirred up for good reason, but most of which was external from parental neglect and the incessant substance abuse.

“Remember that.”

Leo felt the lump in his throat again as he turned his head to glance at Markus, unable to put together an entire meaning to the words he said, but trying to register them nonetheless.

“Will it ever stop hurting? His death.” This time, Leo wiped at his own tears, too tired to acknowledge that it was a waste as his hands were wet from the water anyway.

“I want the caramel one.”

“Got it,” Markus responded to the request first, opening the cupboard under the sink to grab the requested bath soap, squeezing a generous amount into the pouring water before putting it away again.

“I can’t answer that for you, Leo.” Leo cringed from hearing his name, as if it had somehow hurt him.

“Tch, who named me that, anyway? I bet mom flipped over one of those stupid baby books and pointed with her eyes closed. Probably was drunk, too.” Bitterness dripped from his words, and Markus neglected them; responding to Leo in this state in any way, bad or good, would only encourage the negative thoughts and he’d quickly learned not to do so.

“Pillow?” Eyes now closed with the tears slowing, Leo nodded. Repeating the action as with the bubble bath, he retrieved the item from the closet, setting it against the porcelain rim and ensuring it was firmly set in place before he put an arm around Leo’s upper back, supporting him from behind the shoulders as he slowly leaned him back.

Leo had learned to appreciate the care, but it had taken him a long time, and for the most part, he didn’t accept it – the usual exception being nights like this, when he’d given up every last desire to fight. When he was too tired to remember being so vulnerable, when he’d let Markus touch and hold without his internal defiance telling him to refuse, to feel invaded like he’d been so many times before. When he’d needed so badly to be looked after and wanted so simply to be loved that the idea of a machine replicating such a thing was dissipated from his mind, and Markus was no longer cold metal and plastic; only warm hands and soft words.

“Did dad want to die?” Markus stiffened in place, frozen by the unexpected question.

“He loathed the probability of it, but he tried to live his life to the fullest, even if he didn’t feel like he was.” Was that too many words? Markus wasn’t sure, toying with the idea he might have been saying it just as much for himself.

“What do you mean?” It was too many words.

“Carl knew it was coming. I would not say he craved death, but over the time I spent with him, he focused on it more.” It was strange to Markus, the way Carl had spent his last days griping over the people around him, the artificial art industry, his own body’s faults and the fact his age was catching up to him. It made Markus feel no better, but it didn’t hit home so much until after it was much too late.

“Why are you asking?” It was dangerous territory, and generally Markus knew better than to ask, but the worry began to overcome his consideration for Leo’s personal boundaries.

Leo’s eyes opened and he turned his head to look at Markus, somehow looking even more exhausted than he was moments ago. Markus turned off the faucet, dipping a hand into the bath water to ensure its temperature was still ideal.

“I never thought I’d grow old. I still don’t think I will. But he had so much to live for.” Markus’ eyebrows lowered slightly as he didn’t fully understand the sentiment.

“You have plenty of years ahead of you. Whether you have anything to live for is a matter of opinion, and therefor up to you.” Pausing, Markus decided it was finally time to ask.

“What’s the matter?”

The tears came again and Leo closed his eyes, sighing.

“I don’t know.” Slightly stunned, Markus didn’t expect the answer, as Leo almost always had a reason to be upset, even if it seemed minor or nonsensical to anyone around him, sometimes even himself.

“I just… I don’t feel so good.” Markus tilted his head, feeling an urge to reach forward and pet his brother’s hair back in a show of consideration, but that was too close, he knew too well after months of experiencing and discovering Leo’s own personal space and when, where or why he wanted to be touched.

“Elaborate?” He paused, catching the fact he hadn’t watched his vocabulary.

“Explain, please.” Leo was too tired to snarl at his own stupidity, rolling onto his side to face Markus, though his eyes remained closed.

“I don’t feel well and I don’t know why. And it won’t stop.”

Then it clicked.

“If you would like, I can book you an appointment to see someone. I know you do not trust therapists, but there’s a walk-in clinic. You fill out some paperwork, tell them your problems and they suggest some medication.” Leo immediately furrowed his eyebrows at the idea of pills, scowling.

“I know you don’t like them,” Markus added wittingly.

“But they might help you feel better, even just a little.”

“Okay.” He didn’t feel like arguing. Markus was aware he’d likely forget his agreement tomorrow, but they could discuss that when the next day came.

“We should get you back to bed.” Leo didn’t say anything, reaching for the side of the tub as if to go and pull himself out. Markus couldn’t help but smile at his stubborn insistence for something like that, in a state like this, patting him on the hand in a faux mocking gesture that was playful in its motion. Leo opened his eyes with more alertness than he’d felt before he started crying in the first place – catching the smile, the restlessness in his mind settled again.

“I take that back. I should get you back to bed.” Looking lost, as if he didn’t remember how he got here, Leo’s eyes widened as he recoiled on himself, closing his legs and bringing them close to his body in a moment of recognized embarrassment.

“Oh, really? Now?” This time, Markus couldn’t help his own sarcasm, even if it was in jest.

“Come on, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Markus’ extent of maturity was elusive to Leo, and it still showed every day as he didn’t understand, only felt his metaphysical boundaries being penetrated as he was aware of his aches, pains, scars and natural bodily anatomy all over again, cheeks reddening when he looked off to the side. Shifting to sit up, he lowered his legs and held up his arms as he’d done when he’d went to forego his shirt, cuing Markus to lift him up from underneath them just as he had done before.

“I don’t want to go to bed.” Realizing that wasn’t exactly what he meant, Leo reconsidered his thoughts.

“I don’t want to be in that bed.” With a moment of understanding, Markus repeated the actions he’d done when he picked Leo up from the doorway but with more ease as he was already sitting down in the tub, scooping his other arm up underneath the back of his legs to lift and carry him.

“I’ll take you to the guest room, then.”

Leo was asleep in his arms before he reached the door.

#good ol 6am angst #dbh: leo manfred #dbh: markus #detroit: become human

[ofcoldguns]

Future main verse drabble because I can | @ofscarllet

May 16th, 2024

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Barry had disappeared. Two weeks since the funeral. The vigilantes from Star City and even the Legends came into town for it. Kara, Harry, Jesse, Leo, and Ray had all managed to make it from their respective earths. And it was a beautiful service, not that Len could really bring himself to appreciate it.

Len had been taking the disappearance especially hard even though he knew that it was coming. Barry had told him about the newspaper from the future but that did nothing to prepare him for the pain of having to watch his husband go out into the field when the both of them knew that it would be the last time that he would. A part of him had hoped that they would be able to find some way to stop it from happening before the day came but obviously nothing had worked. Having to watch him disappear into nothing while fighting the Reverse Flash was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do.

He’d become distant from pretty much everyone and tried throwing himself into his work with the Rogues and at the bar but his heart wasn’t really in it. He was just going through the motions and hoping he’d find something, a spark, anything. But nothing. Lisa tried to reach out to him after giving him time to grieve, worried for her older brother. No matter what he’d continue to insist that things were just peachy despite all of the evidence that pointed to the opposite. He hated making her worry but there really wasn’t anything she could do.

Today hadn’t really been different than any of the ones before it. That undeniable emptiness still ached in his chest. There was just something wrong about planning heists that Barry wouldn’t be there to stop. 

Finally he’d made his way home to the apartment the two of them had shared that  felt too big and empty without him. He’d hung his jacket up and got rid of his boots before he made his way to the kitchen, pouring out a glass of whiskey that he quickly downed followed by another glass that he drank much slower as he savored the burn.

He passed by the pictures they’d kept around the apartment, a sad smile coming to his lips when his eyes fall on his face smiling back at him. Reminders of times when things were better and they were happy. Just a brief glance as he makes his way to the bedroom.

As soon as his head hit the pillow he was out like a light he was so exhausted. Not surprising considering how little sleep he’d been getting recently. But that didn’t last long because before he knew it he was sitting straight up in bed after hearing a crashing noise coming from the living room.

Immediately he was on his feet, grabbing his gun just in case he needed it and crept as quietly as possible. When he reached the living room he saw a figure who’s face he couldn’t see in the dim light of the room crouched down with something in his hand. Len powered up the cold gun, making a loud enough noise to startle the intruder who quickly rose to his feet and turned around to face him, hands raised to show he meant no harm.

Keeping the cold gun aimed on the mystery person, Len reached over to flick on a light switch and the sight that greeted him nearly made him faint. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. The gun dropped to his side, immediately powering down.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. I accidentally knocked over one of the pictures and I was trying to clean it up.”

Barry. It was Barry. Alive and standing in front of him with that adorably sheepish looking grin on his face. Still wearing his suit like he had been the last time he’d seen him, cowl pushed down, hair all a mess. 

Len was almost completely speechless, all he could do was allow himself to be drawn in by the other, gun dropping to the carpeted floor halfway there.

“You...” was the only thing he was able to get out, reaching a hand out for his face but stopped in midair hesitantly. Barry saw his hesitance and took his wrist, pulling it close to press against his cheek and tilting his head so it rested against Len’s gently. A genuine smile spread across his lips, a warmth 

“I know,” he said simply, thumb brushing against his wrist.

“I have so many questions,” Len finally managed to get out.

“I can’t answer those questions.”

Len pulled back to look at him properly, brows furrowed together in confusion, eyes searching his face for some sort of answer. Worry beginning to claw at the edges of his mind. “Why not?”

There’s a hint of sadness in Barry’s eyes as he looked at him, reaching up to cup his jaw. 

“Because you need to wake up.”

Len’s heart sank into his stomach at those words. No, no, no, no. This cannot be happening. “What?”

He doesn’t get an answer to his question because as soon as it comes out he’s waking up alone in his bed to the sun shining directly into his face like he has the last couple weeks. Always the same dream and he doesn’t know why he keeps falling for it.

Maybe it’s the little sliver of hope that gets smaller every day that he might actually come back.

#drabbles #v: to thaw a frozen heart with a hint of lightning #ofscarllet #[This got longer than I expected and also took longer than expected.]

[girlwsoftsound]

Celebrity Crush || Adam Hann Oneshot

Word Count: 2,393 Warnings: Smut (lots of fluff too) Summary: Adam gets slightly jealous of your celebrity crush. Author’s Note: Absolutely loved writing this! Hope you like it, too. Please feel free to send more requests here! Enjoy!

You had wanted to see this movie ever since its previews aired.

It was a new Leonardo DiCaprio movie, something about him playing a suave spy in a black suit alongside the likes of a beautiful new up-and-coming blonde actress. Leo had been a longtime favorite of yours. Something about him was incredible, and always left you captivated. He was your celebrity crush. This was not unknown to your celebrity boyfriend, Adam Hann. It was a sort of mutual understanding, mostly comedically of course, that if the opportunity ever presented itself, you would immediately jump at the chance to sleep with the man, and Adam would allow it. He had permission to do the same with Emma Watson, so you were even. Adam always seemed to be a bit more jealous of your love for Leo, though.

That was why it was a feat within itself to get him to take you to see the movie in theaters. He waited hand-in-hand with you in line, only having to pause twice from your never-ending discussion of Leo to take pictures with fans. By the time you got the popcorn and drinks and were making your way into the theater, Adam had entertained just about as much of Leo talk as he cared to hear in a night. You did not notice it, though. You were too excited, too eager to see your crush on the screen. Adam followed you into the theater with a pout. He shuffled up to the back of the theater with you and plopped down in his seat with a frown. He needed to think up a way to make this event not a complete Leo fest. He was your boyfriend after all, dammit. He got first dibs anyway.

The movie started with a squeal from you and a few of the other girls in the rows below. You both were in the back, holding the row all to yourselves. Peering around and noticing this, Adam looked between you and the screen where Leo stood, dashing as ever. His mind cranked out a thought in this moment. He had a plan to let that beautiful bastard know he was most certainly not number one in your life, and remind you of the fact along the way. Biting his lip, Adam gently placed his hand on your thigh. A harmless move really, you paid it no mind. Adam did this often. It was no big deal.

Then, that hand moved up your thigh, and it did. His hand was dangerously close to a place it should most certainly not be during a movie in an oh-so-public place. You looked to him with a warning glance. You searched his face for an explanation and apology, but the ever-quiet boy stayed that way save for a small smirk playing on his lips. You all but gasped as his hand reached to try and undo your jeans.

“Adam,” you hissed under your breath. It took him a moment before he finally looked at you. “We’re in a movie theater, now is not the time!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, love.”

Your jaw dropped. “Adam, people might see, what if they find ou-”

“I believe,” he whispered softly, getting the button of your jeans undone, “that I told you I’m unaware of what you are talking about. Now, you should watch the movie. Your man is on the screen.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but was met with Adam’s hand diving below the hem of your pants. A small gasp was all you managed. Adam grinned, leaning to kiss gently at your cheek.

“I’d be quiet if I were you. It’s not polite to talk during movies.”

Had his hand not made it just then beneath your underwear, you would have easily slapped him. Adam knew he was being incredibly unfair. But he loved it. He loved how Leo went completely ignored on the screen, and how your breathing seemed to grow uneven at his touch. Who knew a little distraction was all he needed to turn your attention back to what was most important? He stared forward at Leo holding a gun to someone as he dipped a finger into you. Hearing your breath catch, he smiled.

“Did something exciting happen? I must have missed it.”

Shooting him a glare, you bit your lip to hold back a moan. “I...I do believe there is going to be a fight at some point tonight.”

Adam turned his attention back to the screen, curling his finger inside you to make you squirm. “You know, I’m not too worried about that. Leo’s too perfect, he could never cause a fight. Right, love? He knows that it would upset you, and he just lives to please you.”

“You son of a-”

You stopped, Adam without warning adding a second finger. He was not in the mood to give up his games just yet. His point still had not been fully made. He still had work to do. You still had hell to pay. Besides, he was having too much fun playing coy with you. He kept his fingers slow, teasingly so, until Leo up on screen found himself kissing his blonde co-star, and their own noises filled the theater. This, Adam knew, was an opportunity. He smirked, pleased with himself, before speeding up and letting his thumb move to tease at your clit. It was no secret to either of you how much you enjoyed him playing with your clit. It was a devilish move on his part. As much as it pained you to do so in such a public place, you could not help but let out a soft moan in response. It made Adam grin.

“Is something wrong?”

“I...I…”

“Love,” he whispered, barely audible, “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I don’t think they need any help with making noise.”

You wanted to scream. Instead of giving him the satisfaction of it, you opted to bury your head in his neck and bite down. The feeling made Adam’s stomach go in knots, but he was not that quick to give up his winning position in this game of his. He would not go down that easily. Speeding up his work on your clit, he pulled out all the tricks he could with his fingers. It was like he floored the accelerator. Whatever he was doing only got better. Squirming in your seat, you found yourself glad that Leo found himself in trouble with guns and shouting. There was no way you could dare keep quiet. He had you past the point of that possibility.

You pulled back from Adam’s neck to let him know you were close, a strangled whisper in his ear before your mouth returned to its place on it. Adam took the news with a nod. His thumb worked your clit more furiously, and within no time, a sharp bite to his neck and a heavy exhale from you let him know his work finally paid off. You came as quiet as you could possibly muster. He brought you down from it gradually, letting you ride it out at your own pace. As soon as you moved away from his neck, he went to pepper kisses on your cheek. He grinned at the look of bliss on your face.

“How you doin’, love?”

“As soon as I think I can walk again, we are leaving.”

Adam raised an eyebrow at you. “Why? I thought you wanted to see your man Leo?”

“Leo can wait, I’ve got another man I need to have a few words with.”

“Good words, I’m assuming?”

“Depends if you can make me feel like that again.”

Smiling, Adam patted your thigh. “That can be arranged. Leo isn’t invited, right?”

“Shut the fuck up, Adam.”

“I had to ask.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You all but stumbled into your home. Keys thrown onto the nearest table, your hands were all over Adam, and his were all over you. There was no time for teasing, even if Adam wanted to throw in a few more snide comments about your celebrity crush along the way. You were done with those games. It was time to take action. You would be damned if it didn’t happen.

Adam had you pushed back on the bed the moment you crossed into your shared bedroom. Hovering over you, his lips ghosted across your neck, your lips, your collarbones - whatever he could see of you. You gladly let him take control, using your moans as guidance. It was a relief to be able to not worry about making noise. Adam always did make you feel great when he could hear what worked best. Something about it encouraged him. You were happy to oblige.

Soon, clothes were stripped off from the both of you. It was nice to not have to maneuver around jeans and your underwear, as sexy as they looked on you. Adam had better access, and could really work the angles he knew you loved when he had the freedom. His fingers found your entrance in no time. You still were wet from before, so the movement was as easy and familiar as ever. Adam captured your lips in a deep kiss.

“You’re mine,” he said softly, punctuating it with another kiss. “I want to hear you say I’m yours, {Y/N}. Please.”

Rocking against his fingers, you gasped against his lips. “Y-You’re mine, Adam. God, you are mine.”

“No one else makes you feel this way, right?”

You shook your head. “Never.”

“Do you want me to make you feel even better, love?”

Nodding, you kissed him again. “Y-Yes, Adam. Please. I need you.”

Adam smiled. “Good.”

His fingers left you, momentarily leaving you empty and, adorably, pouty. He kissed the pout off your lips, and then shifted on the bed so he had access to his bedside table. He grabbed a condom, put it on, and then made his way back to kiss you again. You could never get enough of his lips on yours. The love they expressed every time they met yours sent sparks through you. They were intoxicating. Adam was intoxicating. His lips stayed on yours as he carefully entered you, not leaving until he was all the way in and needing to gage your expression. It made him smile to see how truly happy you looked.

“You’re beautiful.”

You smiled back at him, pulling him back down for a kiss. “I love you so much, Adam. Only you.”

“I love you, too. I’m the luckiest man in the world to be able to call you mine.”

One more kiss was pressed to your lips, and then Adam began thrusting in and out of you. He started slow at first, letting the both of you adjust and warm up. He knew that the build up was what drove you wild. It was partly why he had been so slow at the theater. It made the end result so much more intense, and emotional. It was addicting to you.

He sped up only when he started to hear your breathing hitch, and your moans become less breathy and more vocal. You rocked against him, meeting his thrusts as they sped up with time to get all the more closer to them. Adam’s mouth moved to your neck, pressing bites along it as your moans continued to fill the room. Before long, your moans matched every thrust, and his bites became more frequent and hard. Just as it had happened before, everything began to grow into one big crescendo. Adam’s every move, every touch, felt like fire. You felt a familiar burn in the pit of your stomach grow. His thrusts began to grow more ragged as his own grew, a few grunts even slipping from his lips. You knew he was close the moment his fingers moved to your clit. Hand moving fast, he was bringing you along for the ride with him.

“C’mon love,” he whispered in your ear, breath hot against you, “let me know how you feel. Let it out.”

“Fuck,” you rasped, voice hoarse and strained by Adam’s faster thrusts. He had you gasping and moaning below him. “Adam, please.”

“Let it out, {Y/N}. Stop holding back.”

With a few more thrusts that brushed right up against your g-spot, you finally gave in. Letting out a sharp gasp, nearly shaking against Adam. Even in your daze, you felt him stutter and hit his high within you. His lips took to yours, muffling any groans you knew he had in him as he came. His thrusts gradually slowed to a stop, but you stayed connected together for a short while, panting and looking at each other with love-laced eyes. The emotion between you was as raw and passionate as ever.

“Sorry I distracted you away from your movie,” Adam said softly against your lips, a smile tugging at them. You giggled, leaning up to kiss his nose.

“Yeah well, I think Leo will understand,” you replied. “Besides, I think going back to try and see it again might be an option we could think about. It seemed to get you in a pretty good mood.”

Adam smirked. “Are you hinting that I acted differently because it was a movie with Leo in it?”

“You, quiet man Adam Hann, fingered me in a public space,” you said with a laugh, bringing him down for a kiss. “I’m not stupid to think he had some influence in it all.”

“Alright,” he conceded with a caress to your cheek, “you caught me. I guess hearing you rant about how great Leo was made something in me snap.”

“You got a little jealous.”

“A little bit,” Adam admitted, grinning. “But hey, it made for a fun night, did it not?”

You smiled. “It did. I love you, silly.”

“I love you too, {Y/N}.”  

“Want to hear a secret before we go get cleaned up and changed?”

“Sure.”

“I have another celebrity crush.”

Smirking, Adam rested his forehead against yours. “You do? And who is it?”

You deeply kissed him. “Take a guess.”

“Hmmm...Matty?”

You swatted at his arm, earning Adam a laugh. “Adam!”

“Fine, fine,” he chuckled. “Let me think. Is it...me?”

“Bingo.”

Adam sighed and happily brought you into his arms. “You’re adorable, {Y/N]. I’ll happily be your new celebrity crush.”

#adam hann #Adam Hann fanfiction #the 1975 fanfiction #The 1975 fic #Adam Hann imagine #Adam Hann Preference #Adam Hann oneshot #Adam Hann writing #The 1975 imagine #The 1975 #oneshot #Celebrity Crush