#finished the ep n | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rusmii · 4 months

Text

my new assistant!

ෆ : hanako!dazai x nene!reader(fem.)

syp ෆ your ghost summoning doesn't quite go to plan...

cw ෆ ghosts(dazai), no mentions of suicide surprisingly, reiteration of half of the 1st ep but with you and dazai, bi reader lol

notes ෆ i love me the tbhk universe so i bring you guys whatever this is. should I do ep.2??? (THIS WAS RAN ON QUEUED AND NOT PROOFREAD!! expect spelling errors)

guys I keep disappearing from the tags..

"hey c'mere! have you heard the rumors about the schools seven wonders? well, there's one in particular. the seventh of the seven wonders. dazai the bathroom ghost. they say that he's taken on a human girl as his assistant."

"ughhnn," you groan. bathroom cleaning yesterday. bathroom cleaning today. bathroom cleaning tomorrow. scrubbing, scrubbing, and more scrubbing!

"you can do it, [name]!!" dazai cheers from behind you. "a little help, please!" you cry out. "nope!~" he grins from ear to ear as he disappears into his stall. "screw you!!" you scream, throwing the mop aside as you wailed.

"hey, c'mere! have you heard the rumors about the schools' seven wonders? you really haven't? oh my gosh! well, where do i start? I'll tell you the most famous one first. it's the seventh of the seven wonders, dazai, the bathroom ghost. she's on the third floor of the old building, in the third stall in the girl's bathroom. you can go there and summon her right now if you want. she'll grant you any wish, no matter what it is. but she'll take something precious from you in exchange. and you won't know what it is until it's too late."

you stood by the opening of the old buildings' bathroom, hands clutched tightly into your chest as you breathed anxiously. the interior of the bathroom standing wide and spacious, despite its narrow look.

you creaked slowly past the red stalls, each peeling from the worn-out paint. you sucked in a breath as you stretched out your arm, hand ready to knock on the stall door.

"to call her, knock three times."

knocking three times, the pliant wood echoed.

"and then say..."

"dazai! dazai? dazai, are you in there?" you stood, heart beat rapidly increasing as the sunset glooms through the stained window.

you held your palms together, head down as you shut your eyes. awaiting for what's to come as the door creaks open. you quiver in your uniform, the tension of it all made you sweatdrop.

slowly cracking open your eyes, you see the door slightly ajar. it's golden round knob staring right back at you. you trailed your eyes down to where the fingers appeared and froze in place as it gripped the edge of the stall.

it's voice sending alarms in your brains as you whimpered and looked away.

"hellooo~" its ghostly voice bounced inside the room— the door now swinging open. you opened an eye to see nothing but a toilet seat.

just when you breathed a relieved sigh, a hand ghosted over your shoulder as it made its presence known behind you. "okay. hearing things?-" — "you summoned me?"

you jumped back, and without another word, launched your hands into it. screaming when you saw that your hands went through its face. "no!" you ducked, covering your head as the spirit floats next to you.

"pfft-" a snort, then an onslaught of ugly cackles erupted.

'that sounds like a boy,' you thought, opening your eyes to view the ghost. without even realizing it, the spirit had floated around you and crouched down to your level. "what's the matter with you?~" it sneaks into your ear. — "wah!" you flinched and jumped up, scrambling back till your back hit the wall.

your face was just as pale as his was, 'i can see right through him..!'. you were damn near about to bite your nails off as you observed his appearance. such an old uniform—those look like arms!— "are you a ghost?" you asked him, fear in your tone.

his smile made you nervous, "i prefer... apparition," he says as he flies over to his toilet seat, sitting on top of the tanks lid. "or the seventh of the seven wonders of the school. dazai, the bathroom ghost!" he had one leg up, a cheek resting on one arm as he introduced himself.

now holding his cap, he smiles, big. "i'm delighted to meet you~."

"wait- are you saying that you're dazai?" you asked, in huge disbelief that this twink looking guy was dazai. the girl in the bathroom. not a boy!

"yeah! you rang?" he gave you two piece signs, swinging a leg up while he was at it. "i'm not stupid!" you yell, fists in a tight clench as he held his strikingly weird pose. "and where's your bob haircut and red jump skirt?!"

"well, uh. that's not really the look i'm into these days!" his piece sign pose never ending. "these days?!" you screeched. "anyway.. mind telling me who you are?" he asks you, "i don't understand. you look like a boy..." an unwarranted comment, but dazai decides to answer nonetheless.

"that's because i am a boy. believe me, i'm just as bothered about that inaccuracy as you are," he shrugs his shoulders, "but the rest of what you've heard is true."

a white floating ball came into his hand, "i will grant your wish and collect a payment that i see fit."

"so what is your wish? please don't tell me you came here unprepared.." — "why are you in here?" you ask, completely ignoring his question in favor of shock. "what kind of pervy ghost chooses to hunt the girls' bathroom?"

a moment of silence, and dazai suddenly teleports back into his stall. "okaaay.. we're done," he moped. in a panic, you took back what you said, "i take it back! you can hunt any bathroom you'd like!- and i think that it's cool that you're a boy!"

dazai stopped in his tracks, "you think i'm cool??" it was like flipping a light switch. suddenly dazai had a notepad and a pencil, ready to jot down anything you say. "in that case, tell me your name and what is it you wish."

'he got over that fast...' you sweatdropped. you raised your hand as you happily announced yourself, "my name is [name], and i'm a first year in class A! my wish is that the person i'm crushing on will like me back as much as i like them."

"...[name], got it," dazai whispers as he writes down your name, along with the word love written next to it. "and you're asking for your love to be returned? what's the guys name?"

you pulled out your phone to show him a picture, "everybody calls her kouyou. she's a second year and way smart. she's that girl who's so cool but still nice to everyone," you explained. "a her, huh?" dazai noted.

"one time, i dropped my pencil case, and she picked it up for me!" you swoon. "i see~" dazai stares at your phone, with an interesting look on his face. "easy enough!" he claps, "consider your wish granted!"

"are you serious?!" you lit up. "wait, how does the wish grant thing work from the toilet stall? do you use a special item or something?" — "i do," dazai starts digging into his pockets. "the one i carry works wonders!"

you eagerly waited for him to pull out his special item, "will you show it to me!?" — dazai let out a little giggle before pulling out a worn-out old 100 methods of love: this is love edition, "voila."

a damn how-to-book.

you put your palm facing forward and shook your head, "nu-uh." — "eh- hear me out!"

dazai sat himself on the windows ledge, "if i use my power to help you, we'll have to do an equivalent exchange," he waves the book around. "and if i'm making a human heart- do something that's not natural, the price is going to reflect that."

you stare at the waving book, "trust me, this is much safer," he finishes. "hold on," your brows furrowed, "what if i'm okay with any price?"

"oh? are you?"

he threw the book aside and started flapping his arms, "i'd say sorry! i don't have tools that advanced!~" — "you were bluffing?!"

you stood in thought, 'but.. maybe i should try..?- i mean, he's a ghost who grants wishes. he must know some tricks!- i can't be the first person to ask for help in the love department!!'

oblivious to your high hopes, dazai reads aloud, "method number 78. find creative ways to impress him with your skills." dazai shuts the book and turns to you, "let's show you off! what are your talents?"

time passed, and you two were out in the garden. "where are we?" dazai asks. "the best place i could think of to show what i can do, the schools student garden!"

you huffed as you plowed the soil. "i'm the garden club superstar!-" dazai looms at the sight of dirt, "-why are you looking at me like that?! i can grow flowers too, y'know!- i'm feminine and delicate!!!"

the trees move as the wind whisks past them, the sun never fully setting just yet.

"that's why i joined." as the wind blows behind you, the strands of your hair framing your face. your head was leaned atop the tool, your voice nice and calm than what it was earlier. "a boy i once liked said he was only attracted to girly girls, and i noticed there were lots of them in the gardening club."

dazai stayed quiet, "i was also learning how to cook and sew at the same time. figured once i mastered all three skills, i'd tell him how i felt."

a leaf blew by.

"how long did you like him?" dazai finally pops a question in. "since right after i started junior high.. i only told him how i felt last month- it took me three years to do it, but.."

the paper bag you clutched tightly to your chest was feeling heavier than usual, and your uniform tightened as your heart raced.

"hold on-" the guy in front of you says, his undoubtedly awkward smile looking down on you. "-you're saying you like me? do i even know you?" what came out as a rejection, turned into a mean compilation of words.

you were shocked to the core, "creepy.. sorry you're just not my type." he shrugged his shoulders, "i'm not into thick daikon legs."

daikon legs... daikon.. daikon......

you shoved your face into your palms, "that was a month ago!- i'm completely over it, and i'm a completely different person now!!" — dazai didn't believe a single word that came out of your muffled mouth, "i don't believe you." — "well, you should!!!"

"i'm totally obsessed over someone else now," you say, "once that guy sees that someone like kouyou loves back, he'll regret ever turning me down."

"is that so?" peeking through your hands, you see dazai smiling at you. "so, anyone to do?" — "huh..?- no, mr. smarty pants. i want kouyou! don't pull any funny stuff." you wave him off.

dazai finger points you, "are you sure?~ because something tells me you don't know very much about this girl." — "yes i do..." — "then answer this question. what's her full name?"

a stretch of silence came across the garden. "oh! look how big this worm is! bet mr. carp would like to eat that!" — "that's what i thought," he sighed.

he handed you a blank tag gift, "here."

"a blank tag gift?" you questioned, "yep," he replied, doing that stupid two piece pose again. "write a sweet message! then give it to your girl with something you grew!~ i call this move, operation present!"

"creative title..." you mutter. "i tried things like this before. i need magic!-" — "-you haven't tried exactly this on this day, have you?" well, you couldn't really argue with that.

dazai makes a heart with his fingers around his eye, looking straight at you. "make the most of what you have now," his view of you encased in a heart, "let your hard work work for you..~"

rbs and comments appreciated <3<3

#guys why does anime have so much dialogue #didnt finish writing the rest of the ep cause i got lazy #chuuya fic coming out soon; might be shorter than this #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #bsd x reader #[⋆⋆⋆] — runi's works ♡

123 notes · View notes