#ftwdfanfic

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 15.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

(I know the gif isn't Troy in his room but it's all I could find that would be similar to him sat on his couch - work with me k)

You wouldn't describe the rest of the day as awkward, but there was a definate tension between you and Troy which neither was willing to acknowledge.

Aside from that it had been nice to do something that felt relatively normal. Simply wandering the ranch and speaking to people - as Troy whispered his opinions on them in your ear as you walked away - had made a nice change of pace from running from the dead, escaping the living and simply retreating into your bunk to hide from the world.

It was as you finished your meal in the food tent and you spotted Jeremiah eating at the opposite end to yourself and Troy that you asked if you could see his place.

Troy stilled for a few moments before nodding once. You assumed it was only because he knew his father wasn't in the house and couldn't kick you both out again that he agreed. You had a slight spring in your step as you walked back toward the main house and even though Troy was still tense at your side you saw the half-smiles he tried to hide as you linked your arm with his.

The main living area was familiar, although it didn't look as imposing in the daylight. Jeremiah's desk looked smaller, messier. You eyed the bookshelves and the pictures on the wall, breathing in the smell of wood and dust.

"Where's you room?" You ask as Troy seems to hesitate, his shoulders stooping a little as he also glances around the place he called home. You could feel a sort of fluttering in your chest and realised he was nervous.

"I'm not going to pounce on you, don't worry." You say teasingly.

Troy scowls slightly, but its the cute scowl that tells you he's not actually mad.

"I don't know, this could all be part of a ruse to steal my virtue." Troy says mockingly as you laugh. He grabs your hand and leads you upstairs.

The house is dark but still warmly inviting with the sun streaming in through the windows. You end up on the top floor and Troy opens a door and ushers you inside.

It's a large size for a bedroom, more like a studio really. There's the usual dresser and mirror with an old shirt tossed over it. A leather couch and matching chair sit at the foot of his bed. It was all very... brown. With reds, greens and oranges thrown in. It felt like Troy.

You took a deep breath and smiled. It smelt like him too.

"Cosy."

You say as Troy stands by the door, one hand still on the handle as if he's unsure if he should close it or not. You give him a small nod, realising he is waiting for permission to shut you both in. The door closes with a soft click and the tension that was in the air before immediately changes to something... else.

You take a small step further in, toward the bed, then you realise how it might look and change direction to the couch. You take a seat, perching on the edge and look around. The room is quite neat without looking like it hasn't been lived in.

"It's nice. Much nicer than my bunk."

Troy, who has stepped into the room to lean against his dresser, shifts a little uncomfortably.

"I didn't mean anything by that..." You add quickly. "I was just saying... you have a nice home."

Troy takes a look around, his brow furrowing as if taking everything in for the first time.

"I guess..." He says slowly.

You sigh and lean back into the couch. It's worn, a little lumpy, but comfortable enough.

"I'm trying to picture you growing up here. Was this always your room?"

Troy's arms are crossed over his chest and his feet are kicking at a folded section of the rug.

"As long as I can remember." He says flatly.

Your hands press along the cool leather fabric. There was something off about him, he was giving off the energy of an animal trapped in a cage.

"Hey," You say softly and raise a hand to beckon him over to you, "come sit with me."

Troy's eyes fix on your hand before he crosses the room in just a few short strides, placing hisnpalm in yours as you slide over to give him space to join you. When he sits he mimics your posture, head leaning back on the edge of the couch to take in the slowly turning fan on his ceiling with arms relaxed at his sides.

Except for the hands which are intertwined with each other.

The tension seems to ease a little and you smile at nothing in particular.

"I had a great day today." You say quietly.

Troy smirks, "You're very easily impressed then."

"And aren't you lucky." You tease back.

Troy, usually so quick-witted, takes a second to realise your implication. His foot nudges yours as if to reprimand you. You chuckle and nudge him back, slightly harder.

"I'm not playing footsies with you. We are sophisticated adults." Troy tells you firmly as you grin.

You jab him in the ribs with your elbow and laugh.

"Speak for yourself!"

His eyes slide to you, darkening with the promise of retribution.

"Oh? That how your gonna be?"

You raise your free hand in a mock surrender.

"Wait... okay I won't-"

Your own ribs come under a sudden ambush of that most devious and dreaded attack, the tickles. You shriek, trying to lean away and escape as Troy uses your joined hands to hold you where you are.

"Surrender! I surrender god damn it!"

Troy sits back, victorious.

"Dirty move." You glare.

Troy gives you a grin that makes your stomach flip.

"There's no reward for fair fighting if you're on the losing team." Troy tells you, and its something in his voice that makes you think of Jeremiah. It sounded exactly like something the man would say to his son.

You were about to try and bring his father up when a sudden knock on Troy's door has you both frozen for a moment until Troy pulls you up by the hand, gesturing for you to be quiet and pulls you to stand beside the door where you'd be hidden once it was open.

You scowl a little at having to hide like this but if it meant avoiding Jeremiah than you could live with it for now.

Troy opens the door and you're able to see the way his shoulders relax.

"Jake." He greets.

"I was hoping to speak to you for a moment. We've got a problem with some of the dead caught up in our fences."

Troy sighs.

"Get Coop to handle it."

"Coop's on watch. Dad asked for you to deal with it. It's your responsibility - his words, not mine." Jake added quickly at the end.

Behind the door you silently roll your eyes. Jeremiah would find any reason to keep you and Troy separate as much as he could.

"Fine. Just... give me a minute."

Jake speaks up again as Troy goes to shut the door.

"I can walk her back to the bunkhouse, if you'd like."

You go very still as Troy glares at his brother. You can hear the supressed laughter in Jake's voice.

"Come on, little brother. You're too old to be sneaking girls into your room."

You smile to yourself before popping your head under Troy's arm and around the door.

"Hi Jake!" You smile, always genuinely pleased to see him.

He smiles back at you and quirks an eyebrow at Troy.

"I'd say you've got less than ten minutes until Dad gets back. Maybe go round the back way... see you out front."

You wave goodbye as Troy huffs. Troy escorts you from his room and you feel disappointed to be leaving. It was comforting there. Troy does indeed take you out through the back way and around the side of the house where Jake is waiting with his hands in his pockets, trying not to grin at you.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Troy tells you, and you get the feeling you're being handed over to Jake like a child.

"You know I can walk back to the bunk by myself. Or even around the ranch! I don't need an escort all the time."

Troy looks a little embarrassed.

"I know. I just wanted to make sure you're okay, especially after..."

"We didn't mean to offend you," Jake adds. "But I'd enjoy the walk with you and one last check up would put my mind at rest with how you're recovering."

"Fine." You agree, knowing it was just an excuse to put Troy's mind at ease.

As Troy heads toward the source of the problem Jake keeps a steady pace at your side and begins to speak.

"So, how are you feeling now?"

"Actually quite a bit better today," you say honestly. "It's nice to be normal for a while."

Jake nods understandingly.

"That's good. I was getting worried about you being stuck in that bunkhouse for days."

You smile thinly, remembering how comfortable Troy's room was compared to your living arrangements.

"You don't need to worry. I'm feeling much stronger."

Jake pauses for a few moments and even though you don't share a connection that links your feelings you can still tell from his face he is contemplating asking you something. You smile at him.

"You know you really need to work on your poker face."

Jake looks at you, confused.

"What's up Jake?" You ask, making it clear you could read him like a book.

Again he hesitates, running his hand over his head just like Troy tends to do when thinking.

"I was just wondering how things are going... between you and Troy."

You feel your heart skip a beat and a slight heat rise in your cheeks.

"Really? Why?"

Silently you're wondering if Troy had said something to him. Brother's talk like that, didn't they?

"I just know how... intense... it can be when you find your soulmate. I thought I'd check in, see if you needed anything."

You smile a bit more warmly and shake my head.

"I think things are going fine. Although..." You remember earlier, the way Troy had seemed to shut off from you somehow.

"Actually, I do have a question. About soulmates."

Jake waits, looking at you expectantly.

"Is it possible to... hide something. You know, from the bond. Feelings?"

Jake tilts his head as if unsure of what you mean.

"Do you mean like being able to feel each other's presence?"

You shake your head.

"No I mean... I could tell something was wrong with Troy earlier. Something he didn't want to talk about. I couldn't get a sense on how he felt."

Jake continues to look confused until his face softens.

"You know, my brother is a... complicated person. It can take a while to get used to his habits. He doesn't really open up much but just give him time."

You begin to feel frustrated, Jake clearly was missing the point. He places a hand on your shoulder and gives a comforting squeeze.

"You know people think being soulmates is easy. That you'll just connect and everything will be perfect. But it's hard. A relationship still takes time and effort. You'll learn to understand each other and soon you'll be able to read Troy the same way you read me!"

Something begins to settle in your stomach as Jake speaks and you begin to realise something. You smile and laugh a little, as if what you're about to say was just a funny joke.

"I know right... wouldn't it be great if soulmates could just... feel what the other was feeling all the time!"

Jake lets out a laugh.

"Oh yeah, that'd make things a lot easier!"

Your stomach drops but you keep the smile on your face as you reach your bunk and Jake bids you a good evening. Once inside you sit on the edge of your bed and begin to shake slightly.

It was clear that Jake had never experienced a shared emotion with his soulmate. Was this just an exception between them specifically? Perhaps influenced by her sickness and closeness to death?

Or... was the exception you and Troy. Your bond.

Was their something wrong with you.

#troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd #ftwd fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #troy otto x reader #soulmates #soulmate au #romance #dark romance #don't say go fic

[ftwdb]

Just dirty, filthy smut about Troy’s obsession with making notes while “watching you”…

Troy likes to watch you masturbate. He will sit on a chair nearby or on the edge of the bed and make notes, describing what you do to yourself and how it makes your body respond and the different sounds it coaxes out of you. He’ll time you. He will note down the length and intensity of each orgasm.

Then he will use this information to see if he can make you go longer, moan louder and your body shake harder. He keeps record of his own “personal bests” and nothing turns him on more than “interviewing” you after each round. Prodding you for more information, more in depth descriptions of what you felt and what you did until your face is red and your chest heaving.

Afterward he places the pencil in-between the pages and snaps it shut. The sound always makes you flinch because you know you’re in for another round.

“Let’s try it this way…”

He will tell you, gesturing for you to move positions. You oblige. You’re happy to be his test subject. His little experiment. After all, he might be getting off on the things he is learning and observing but you’re the one reaping the benefits…

#troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd #ftwd fanfic #troy otto x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #troy otto x reader smut #smut #short ficlet #fear the walking dead imagine #troy otto imagine #troy otto fear the walking dead #troy otto x you #troy otto fic #troy otto smut

[ftwdb]

Chapter 16.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut. Love triangle/polyamory… eventually.

You had paced the bunkhouse for so long that you were surprised you hadn't worn down the wood. Your nails were bitten down on one hand as you pondered over Jake’s revelation that it was not typical for soulmates to share emotions.

What were you supposed to do with this information? More importantly, did Troy already know?

Or was Jake mistaken? Perhaps that was just his own experience but the only way to find out would be to ask more people. And that could arouse suspicion…

You try and take your mind off things by tidying up the bunkhouse, and you’re in the middle of sweeping the dust out the front door when a sudden feeling hits you directly in the chest. It hits you hard enough to make you stagger on your feet for a few seconds.

You pause as panic overcomes you. You reach for your bond, for the pull… you find it empty.

“No!”

You're already out the door and running across the ranch when you see the trucks approaching in the distance. They're driving much faster than they usually would, which could only mean something was very, very wrong.

“Radio for Jake!”

You shout at the guard at the gate. He frowns at you but doesn't hesitate, also seeing the urgency in the way the trucks are driving along the road kicking up dust that floats into the air like smoke. Your eyes scan each of the drivers, looking for Troy as they pull into the gateway but he isn't behind any of the wheels.

Your eyes lock with Cooper as he jumps from the truck. Something is already behind hauled from the back and your heart drops when you see it’s Troy. Limp and pale with blood coating his face and neck.

“Is he bit?”

Are your first words as you chase after them rushing toward the medical tent. You see Cooper shake his head and you sigh with relief.

Jake is there and you don't even remember how or when he arrived. Getting Troy on the bed was a blur. Cooper pulling you out of the way as Jake checks him over was like a dream once Jake goes quiet and intently stares at Troy’s eyes as he flashes a small light in each one.

Your stomach churns. You know enough to realise what Jake is checking for, the responses he needs to know that the blood coating Troy’s head would not prevent him from waking up.

“… too slow…”

Jake mutters.

Your heart stops.

“But he’s responding, right?”

You say shakily. Jake nods but he doesn't look any happier about this than he did before the test.

You can't watch when Jake starts to examine the wound. You feel sick at the sight. You let Cooper lead you outside as he says something about getting air. You're in a daze and all you can do is keep tugging at the bond between you, urging Troy to tug back.

“What the hell happened?”

You say eventually, shaking as you look to Cooper for an explanation.

Cooper doesn't owe you anything, but he gives you a quick summary of events. They came across survivors. They were hostile. They engaged and Troy was injured by one of them who struck him from behind.

You shake your head slowly.

“And the survivors?”

“Took some out. Some escaped.”

Cooper says bluntly.

You clench your fists and your jaw sets when you speak again.

“And the one who hurt Troy?”

Cooper looks away, actually looking a little ashamed.

“… escaped.”

You feel rage. How? Why?

Before you could ask for more information you hear Jeremiah calling for Cooper. You keep your back turned. You don't have the patience for Troy’s father today.

Jeremiah demands an explanation as he leads Cooper back into the tent. You're left alone outside it and your knees buckle. You hit the grass hard and your fingers dig into the dirt.

This can't be it. Troy’s presence in her heart was like a gaping hole. Just empty and filled with cold, yearning darkness. You reach for him again but the lack of connection steals your breath away. That was when Cooper and Jeremiah burst from the tent and start running back toward the gate.

Without a second thought you follow, and neither man seems to care or notice. You can see the militia gathering at the outer edge of the ranch, taking up defensive positions you'd seen Troy scribbling notes about in his book.

You’re at Cooper’s side when you hear the words you already knew.

“They followed us.”

Jeremiah is shouting curses and yelling instructions. You see Mike limping toward the gate. He hadn’t been out with the others, but duty calls. He sees you and frowns.

“Get in the house.”

You scowl at him.

“Don’t tell me what to-”

Mike cuts you off.

“Troy would want you safe. Get in the house!”

You’re about to argue again when Jeremiah pipes up.

“You’ll do as you’re told. We don’t need civilians out here making things more complicated. So unless you’re gonna pick up a weapon missy, get outta the line o’ fire.”

You clench your fists and look to Cooper for support. Unfortunately he just shrugs and looks away with an apologetic look in his eyes.

“Fine!”

You huff. You run back to the main house, the closest shelter to the gate, and take the steps two at a time to Troy’s bedroom. You burst through the door and toward the window where you know you’ll be able to see everything.

Your fingers grip the window frame. You see a car approaching with a pole and a white rag handing from it. You feel a burst of anger.

So these people almost kill Troy and they dare approach his home seeking peace? You can see Jeremiah and Cooper taking the lead, stepping out to meet the vehicle whilst the militia keep their weapons pointed at the people inside.

You squint as you see someone step out, their hands are raised and you can make out a woman with shoulder length blonde hair. You can’t hear what’s being said, but Jeremiah is actually listening… and that makes you furious.

Your eyes are drawn to the opposite side of the car. Another set of raised hands, another figure emerging…

A man. Or a boy, he looks young. Messy hair down to his shoulders and even from here you can see the scowl on his features. Your heart beats hard.

Do something.

It tells you.

These people hurt Troy.

Do something!

Your fingers lose their grip on the window frame and your feet are carrying you back down the steps and outside faster than you can think. Your breathing is hard and your heart pounds. Your feet land on dirt and you run toward the gate.

You’re almost there, you can hear the woman’s voice but you can’t hear her words. But Jeremiah seems to be listening, and that infuriates you.

Do something!

Your heart screams again.

You’re almost at them when your glare switches from the woman to the boy. He is the first to see you, his narrowed eyes slide from the woman to you and they widen with surprise, with recognition. With shock.

It’s like someone has reached into your chest and torn your heart in two. You stop running and it takes all of your strength not to fall to your knees in the dirt.

The boy’s mouth opens. He goes to say something, his hand comes up as if reaching for you but you’re shaking your head and backing away with a hand pressed over your chest.

This… couldn’t be right. Be real. This feeling…

This sudden intense need to close the gap between you both and…

Jeremiah spots you and you hear him shout, but you’re already turning on your heel to flee. Because it couldn’t be right. This feeling in your chest… this… Pull.

Your feet carry you back to the medical tent where you burst through, frightening Jake who is sitting beside Troy, his head in his hands.

“He’s not…?”

You choke out as Jake meets your eyes.

“He woke. Briefly.”

Your legs almost collapse again.

Jake has a small, half-smile on his face. It’s still tinged with sadness and worry, but he doesn’t look like a man about to lose his brother.

“He said your name and lost consciousness again. But I think he’ll be okay, eventually.”

You let out a strangled sob of relief and your legs finally give way. Jake is with you immediately, pulling you up, setting you on the bed beside Troy.

“You’re still not fully recovered. The shock… you need to rest…” Jake is muttering.

You just nod and let him lay you down. You turn your head toward your soulmate and you reach out with your heart. A sense of warmth and happiness spreads through you when you finally find him, he’s there, as if at a distance even though you could reach out and touch him physically. But he is still in your heart.

But then you feel something else. A pulsing throb in your chest that makes you want to get off the bed and run back to the gate to give it some relief, to ease the pressure as it wills you to get off the bed and move.

Jake mistakes your sudden change in pallor and gently rubs your arm, uttering reassuring words that everything will be okay. But he doesn’t know. How could he? Nothing will ever be okay again… not when your heart is suddenly torn in half between two soulmates.

#don't so go fic #don’t say go #troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd #ftwd fanfic #troy otto x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #no y/n #Nick Clark #Madison Clark #Nick Clark x reader #love triangle #polyamory #soulmate fanfiction #soulmate au #soulmates

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 13.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

You lay in your bunk staring into nothing. Cooper was stationed outside your door on Troy’s orders. Troy was…

You reached for him, trying to locate him on the ranch. You closed your eyes as your senses felt like they were stretching out into fog, blindly scrabbling for the warmth that usually came with your connection.

You could feel him, but he was somewhere beyond your usual reach. You scowled and opened your eyes. Perhaps he had left the ranch entirely.

You couldn’t help reliving those moments by his fathers desk. You had demanded Cooper take you to Jeremiah and although the man who was easily twice your size had initially refused you’d somehow managed to convince him. Perhaps it was out of some loyalty to Troy, or that he could simply see the desperation in your eyes and took pity on you, but you couldn’t stand by and let Troy take the blame for a mess you’d created.

You felt awful as you saw Mike limp away with Jake, but at least he wasn’t dead. Once you had calmed down you realised he must have seen you running from the tent and been trying to help, and you’d almost gotten him killed. Perhaps Jeremiah was right about you. You were just a burden to everyone on the ranch, including Troy, who had barely said a word to you once his father had dismissed you all from his sight.

You’d avoided looking at him when he’d taken you by the elbow and steered you through the door, down the steps and toward the bunkhouse. Thankfully the militia had dispersed those who had been drawn to the ruckus so you had no prying eyes upon you now. You’d glanced up at him as Troy signalled for Cooper to follow, unsettled by the empty expression on his face.

Your stomach dropped. His fingers around your arm became painful even though he held you gently. You dropped your eyes to the floor and remained silent as the bunkhouse came into sight.

“Cooper, I want you on watch until sunrise. Do not leave this spot, do you understand?”

Cooper stood tall, nodding as he replied with a firm, “Yes, sir.”

For a second you couldn’t breathe.

“Where are you going?” You managed to say.

Troy didn’t answer right away. In fact he didn’t even look at you. Cooper, who had a knack for pretending he had gone suddenly deaf and blind, tried to blend into the wood of the bunkhouse.

“I’ll be back tomorrow.”

You opened your mouth to speak again only to be met with a more forceful, “Tomorrow.” Before Troy turned and walked away.

You were frozen to the spot, staring after him as he disappeared into the dark. You heard Cooper clear his throat and the familiar creak of the door opening before you tore your eyes from where Troy had faded from sight and bolted inside, locking the door behind you.

You’d washed up, dumped your clothes on the floor and wrapped yourself in fresh clothes before crawling beneath your covers.

Cooper’s shadow at the door was a small comfort as you wondered what was happening now. What would they do with the body of the man you had murdered? What would they tell people?

And Jeremiah… his reaction had both surprised and confused you. You’d expected anger, for his declaration that he’d been right about letting you on the ranch being a mistake all along, but instead he’d actually reacted with what could almost have been… compassion? Oh, he’d offered no solace or comfort, but you’d seen his eyes change and his expression shift as you’d began to speak of your past with the burned man.

Your stomach clenched. Would they figure out that you were the one to cause his injuries? Or had the man already spoken of you when he’d been found in the wild?

Your thoughts wouldn’t allow you to sleep and you were still staring blankly at the wall when the sun began to rise. Outside you heard voices, Cooper was speaking to someone. You were on your feet in seconds and pulling back the bolt on the door, hoping it would be Troy making his return.

Your eyes fell on Jake and the disappointment on your face was obvious. He bid Cooper goodnight before asking if he could join you inside.

“It’s your property,” you said weakly, and stepped aside.

It was like deja vu when he closed the door behind him and took his usual seat at the table. He pulled back another chair and gestured for you to join him. You did, without comment. Dread was heavy in your heart and you only wanted to know where Troy had gone.

A terrifying thought crossed your mind. Had he sent Jake to tell you to leave?

The older brother must have seen the fear in your eyes as he leant back quickly, giving you your space.

“I’m not here to hurt you, or berate you for what happened,” he said quickly. “Troy asked me to relieve Cooper at sunrise. Since you’re awake it might be a good idea for us to talk.”

Your relief was short as anxiety made you tremble. You clenched your palms together tightly, feeling your nails digging into the skin.

“We need to understand what happened tonight. I know you spoke to my father, but we need the whole story…”

You almost couldn’t speak your mouth had gone so dry.

“Troy,” you said hoarsely, “I’ll tell Troy everything when he comes back.” He was the one you owed an explanation to. The one who, as your soulmate, would surely understand…

Jake looked at you, his expression soft and almost pitying.

“I remember what it was like, you know. The Pull. The way it consumes you entirely, makes you think you can’t breathe without your other at your side…”

You stared at the floor. Yes, there had been moments when the force that had led you here, to Troy, had stolen your ability to think straight with its intensity. But you’d assumed it was part of adjusting.

“Does it get… easier?” You asked.

Jake’s gaze shifted to the window, he looked lost in thought for a moment as a sad smile pulled at his lips.

“I wouldn’t know.”

You could have kicked yourself. Of course you knew what had happened to Jake’s soulmate. She had died mere months after they’d found each other. Jake had spent the entire time knowing he would lose her.

You couldn’t imagine knowing for certain that Troy would be taken from you. It felt like there would be nothing left inside you; you’d be a shell, a husk. Barely any better than the dead who wandered aimlessly.

Jake looked back to you, the sad smile gone.

“You can tell me, or write it down if that’s easier for you. But one way or another we need to understand… we need to know.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

As your story left your lips it was as if you were listening to someone else speak, retelling a movie they had seen or a story they’d heard on the news. You were blunt, factual. You’d been separated from your parents in the military camp, and when the bombs dropped and the fires spread they were trapped.

You didn’t tell him how you’d begged your parents to just try. To try and escape. To live. So scared they were of one dying without the other that they had chosen to stay together where they knew they’d die in each others arms.

They’d abandoned you.

No, Jake didn’t need to know that.

And so you explained how you’d walked aimlessly for days, avoiding the burned out areas and scavenging what you could to survive. You’d been at the edge of the city, unsure of where to go next when they had come upon you…

Jake listened to your story without a word. His expression was calm. Even when you’d gotten lost in the memory and been unable to stop yourself telling him how the father had held you down and told his son to “be a man”…

You could hear it in your ears as if he were standing beside you. You shivered before dropping to your knees, a wave of sickness overcoming you.

Jake was there at your side, his hands hovering but not touching. You breathed deeply as he began to count and you found his voice urging you to breath in time with him made the dizziness stop.

“Sorry… I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning…” you made the excuse.

“It’s okay. I know this is hard, but you’re safe.”

You looked up from where you were hunched on the floor, your fingertips digging into the wooden floor.

“Am I?”

Jake, the first truly kind face you’d seen for so long since this whole disaster began, carefully laid a hand on your shoulder and, when you didn’t flinch away, smiled.

“As safe as I can promise you can be in the apocalypse.”

You almost cracked a smile, especially when he continued.

“After all, as Troy’s soulmate you’re practically my sister now. I always wondered if having sister would have been… different.”

You sat back on your heels, feeling steadier but not ready to stand just yet.

“What do you mean?”

The carefully controlled expression was back and Jake shook off what he had just said.

He made himself more comfortable on the floor beside you and you knew it was back to the questions about your past.

“I need you to tell me honestly…”

Your heard skipped a beat.

“The man said he was attacked. His burns… you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

It was like a mask slipped over you, a shield between you and Jake who had just referred to you as his sister. You wanted to trust him. To believe his intentions were good, but the last time you’d put your trust in a stranger… it had led you to this.

“No,” you said.

Jake’s eyes changed, his brow knitting together as he watched you thoughtfully.

“No one would blame you.”

Really? You thought. You’d set two sleeping men on fire and run. Although you felt no guilt for it you knew it wasn’t the sort of thing normal people would have done… would they?

You could have just escaped. You could have stolen a gun and shot them as they slept… but you’d chosen to burn them.

To make them suffer.

Didn’t that make you a monster too?

“It must have happened after I escaped.”

Jake continued to watch you before nodding once. He seemed to believe you.

“Okay.”

“What about Mike?” You remembered suddenly, feeling a little guilty at having forgot the injured man.

“He confirmed what you said, and so did the other guard who should never have left you alone in the tent.” Jake said with a scowl. “He was running late to takeover watch when he saw you running. He went after you when you didn’t respond to his call and, well, I suppose it’s understandable Troy assumed what he did.”

You fidgeted with your fingers in your lap, sighing tiredly.

“I feel terrible. I’m so sorry. Will he be okay?”

Jake smiled.

“Troy could have killed him if you hadn’t stepped in. Instead, Mike just lost a pinky toe.”

You blinked before a snort of laughter escaped you. Jake did the same, looking baffled for a second at your reaction before chuckling quietly too.

“I’m sorry, that’s not funny.” You admonished yourself.

Jake shrugged, “It’s a little funny, the way he was wailing… I was scared he’d lose his foot until we got his boot off.”

This time you really did laugh. The feeling was strange, in fact you felt a little woozy, as if you were drunk. You put it down to exhaustion and hunger as your eyes began to water with a mixture of relief and amusement.

Jake let you have your moment as you wiped the moisture from your cheeks, your smile slipping as reality began to set in again.

“Will you tell people what happened to me?” You asked. You didn’t know if you could handle people’s pity. Or their judgement.

Jake shook his head.

“My father is a hard man but he understood what you told him last night. He won’t need the details. No one needs to know what happened. We’ll tell people… the man died of his injuries, he turned and you fled in a panic. With it being dark Troy thought Mike was one of the dead coming after you…”

You wrinkled your nose, unsure of the lie but grateful that Jake would cover for you.

“And Mike’s okay with that? He’s not mad at us?”

Jake shrugged.

“He’s in pretty deep shi- trouble for not being on time for guard duty. I think a little white lie will even things out.”

Jake continued when you looked unconvinced.

“He and Troy have been friends a long time. He’s seen some of the worst of my brother and still…”

Jake stopped, leaving you curious about what he meant. People had a lot of strange things to say, or not say, about your soulmate and you were beginning to think you weren’t the only one with secrets.

“Will you tell Troy?”

Jake didn’t need to ask what you meant. He scratched at his head, a habit you recognised from Troy when he was unsure, before speaking.

“I think maybe he’d be better hearing it from you. But of course if it helps, I’ll tell him whatever you need.”

You smiled, feeling genuine affection for Jake. Was this what having an older brother was supposed to feel like? Like someone really had your back.

“I don’t know about that. He seems… really mad.”

Jake’s eyes widened before he frowned.

“Troy? You think he’s mad at you?”

You nodded.

“Why wouldn’t he be? I’ve brought him nothing but trouble-“

Jake shook his head.

“Trust me. Troy isn’t mad at you.”

Jake was being annoyingly cryptic. Who else was there to blame?

You weren’t able to question him further as the door to the bunkhouse swung open and Troy suddenly appeared, standing still in a halo of soft light as the sun rose behind him.

He stared at you and Jake and you realised what an odd sight it must have been with both of you sat on the floor.

His brother lifted himself to his feet and drew himself up to his full height as he regarded Troy carefully. You’d have done the same if your legs didn’t feel like jelly beneath you.

“Brother.” Jake said oddly formally in greeting.

Troy gave a small nod of his head in return. Jake glanced back at you, where you still sat unable to take your eyes off Troy as you noticed he hadn’t yet looked directly at you.

“Perhaps we should talk first-“ Jake began before you cut him off.

“No,” you pulled yourself unsteadily to your feet. “I can do it. I can explain.”

Jake hesitated and you could tell he wasn’t sure if it was best to leave or not.

“It’s okay.” You said with as much of a reassuring smile as you could muster.

With one last look Jake nodded before passing his brother to exit the bunkhouse. His hand momentarily gripped Troy’s shoulder and gave a brief squeeze before he was gone, the door closing quietly behind him.

It was just you and Troy now.

In the silence you could hear your own heart beating, the sound of your own uneven breathing.

“I’m so sorry,” you began, forcing your voice to remain steady, “if you want me to leave, I’ll go. I’ll understand.”

Troy stared at you, his eyes managed to glow with intensity in the pale light of the sun.

“Go?” He finally croaked. “Why would I want you to go?”

You dropped your gaze and tried to keep yourself steady.

“Because of what I did. Because of what almost happened to Mike because of me.”

Your eyes shot up as footsteps moved toward you. For the briefest of moments you wanted to take a step back, to avoid the outstretched hand Troy had reached out to you with as if his touch might have harmed you in some way. You must have flinched, the sharp intake of breath seen by Troy as he stopped in front of you and slowly dropped his hand.

Your eyes were fixed to the floor. Your socked feet so close to his dusty boots.

“Look at me,” Troy said softly. It wasn’t a command but you were unable to resist the request regardless.

Your chest ached as your eyes met with his. His face looked tired, the curls of his hair were in need of taming as if he’d been running his hands through them all night. You noted the shadows beneath his eyes as guilt enveloped you.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Perhaps The Pull wasn’t always right. Whatever force joined two people together must be wrong sometimes. For you to be such a burden on your soulmate was unbearable. You’d always thought the love you’d seen between your parents was what was to be expected, they had brought each other both peace and happiness.

You’d brought neither to Troy.

Your frantic thoughts were interrupted when Troy placed two fingers gently beneath your chin and tilted your face upward.

“If you want to leave, I won’t stop you. If… if you want to go…”

You swallowed, the movement in your throat unmissable to Troy whose eyes followed your every breath.

You wanted to shake your head No, but the touch of his fingertips on your skin burned so pleasantly you couldn’t bare to risk losing the contact.

“I’ll understand,” Troy continued, “you were supposed to be safe here. I was supposed to keep you safe.”

You frowned as Troy dropped his hand from your chin and took a step back. Jake’s words came back to you, how it wasn’t you that Troy was angry with.

“You’re blaming yourself,” you breathed.

Troy could no longer look you in the eye.

“I should never have brought a stranger into our home. I should never have left you alone-“

“Stop it-“

Troy ran a hand over his head, pulling roughly at the dark curls between his fingers just as you’d guessed he’d been doing all night. You closed the space between you and reached up for his hand, untangling it from his hair as you gripped it tightly to stop him pulling away.

He looked at you now with a slightly wild expression on his face. You realised just how exhausted he was. You knew what that level of stress and tiredness could do, he wasn’t thinking straight.

“You helped someone in need. Just like you did with me-” you began before Troy cut you off.

“I’d been looking for you. Even though I didn’t understand why at first…”

You couldn’t help the small smile on your lips.

“You couldn’t have known who he was. It’s not as if I’ve been entirely honest with you about my past.” You admitted, trying to ignore the squirming in your gut and slight tremor in your voice.

Troy looked at you now with such intensity you almost forgot how to breath. “You can tell me anything. I… I’ve done things too. Things I had to do.”

You nodded in understanding. The world was now a dark place and although you hated to admit it, sometimes embracing that darkness was the only way to survive it. You remembered the choking sounds of the man whose throat Troy had watched you cut. He’d told you you’d looked beautiful, a statement most would find odd or frightening in such a situation. It hadn’t frightened you. It had made you feel like an avenging Angel in Troy’s eyes.

“I never meant to cause so much trouble.” You said honestly.

Troy shook his head as a smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. “It’s about time someone else round here caused some.”

Your heart was no longer thundering in your chest, but it was beating hard as Troy’s fingers brushed over the back of your hand where he still held it tight.

You noticed as he began to sway ever so slightly, exhaustion finally overcoming him. There was still so much you wanted to say, to ask him, but perhaps right now was not the time.

Instead you took a steady breath and licked your suddenly very dry lips.

“Would you stay with me, here, to sleep?”

Troy blinked at you, glancing to the bunk you’d claimed as your own and back to you as if it were taking some time to process your request.

He had slept in the bunkhouse with you when you’d first arrived, but he had kept a respectful distance. There hadn’t been much physical contact between you yet, other than when you’d jumped into his arms when Mike had frightened you it had mostly been brief spells of holding hands when you walked outside the bunkhouse. And neither of you had minded, there was no need to rush things after everything you’d been through and Troy wasn’t exactly used to displays of affection. So when he nodded it was because his voice had suddenly failed him. The bunk was small, perhaps he was expected to sleep on one of the other empty ones…?

You made your intentions clear when you walked over to your bed and slid beneath the blanket before holding it open for him. Feeling dazed Troy kicked off his boots and placed his jacket over the nearest chair. He sat on the edge of the bunk before stretching out beside you.

He’d been right. The bunk was too small for two but you didn’t seem to care as your hand found his again and wound his fingers between yours.

The only sound for a few moments were those of your own breathing and the first songs of the birds from outside. As Troy’s eyes began to slide shut you spoke quietly as the morning sun began to fill the room.

“Troy?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t want to go anywhere without you.”

You didn’t see but the muscles in Troy’s face twitched as he almost smiled in his half-awake state.

“Then don’t.” He said just as quietly.

You did smile then, and for the first time since you’d set eyes upon your soulmate you felt a knowing in your heart and in your gut that The Pull had been right, because you were finally home.

#troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd #ftwd fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #troy otto x reader #no y/n #soulmate fanfiction #soulmate au #don't say go fic

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 8.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

The shower in the bunk house was basic and the water luke-warm but to you it felt like heaven. Troy told you the water was limited so not to take all day, to which you’d rather naively asked if he was going to shower too.

You’d seen the redness of his skin spread down his neck and his exposed chest at the top of his shirt.

“I meant after-”

You’d said quickly, then realised you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea again.

“I just mean… I know we’re soulmates and everything but…”

Troy had managed an easy smile and bowed his head toward you in what you’d come to see as a reassuring motion, as if he were trying to make himself physically smaller - a difficult feat since he towered over you.

“I get it. I think it’s probably best we get used to being able to touch hands first before… anything else.”

You smiled shyly, hating the coyness you felt. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t had lovers. You weren’t some blushing virgin.

“You feel it too?” you asked.

Troy took in a long whistling breath through his teeth.

“You mean the way my whole body sets on fire when you touch me?”

You froze as heat coursed through you at the huskiness in his voice . Your heart began to beat as blood pumped dizzyingly fast into every part of your body. You forced yourself to breathe slowly.

Yeah, you knew exactly what he meant.

“Is that normal?” he asked, “I’ve lived on the ranch since I was a kid. Never really learned much about this stuff except for what Jake told me.”

You couldn’t think straight and searched wildly in your head for a change of subject, something to distract you from the way Troy’s eyes were boring into you.

“Is what your father said true? Did your brother’s soulmate die?”

Troy nodded solemnly before finally breaking your gaze, looking at his feet as he kicked at some dry leaves that had blown in.

“And I was an asshole about it too. I didn’t know… I didn’t understand what it felt like.”

“And… what does it feel like? For you?”

Again Troy’s eyes fixed on your face, his blue eyes darkening as he seemed to be looking right into you.

“Like nothing I could have imagined.” he told you. “You?”

Your smiled widened.

“The same.”

The smile on Troy’s face was more reserved, as if it were something he wasn’t quite used to doing in front of people.

“Okay then. I’ll uh, go find us something to eat. There must be leftovers from the canteen. I’ll find you something clean to wear too.”

Your stomach growled embarrassingly loudly and you heard Troy chuckle as he closed the door to the bunk house behind him.

You showered, basking in the warmth of the water and the smell of soup as wondered how many washes it would take for your hair to feel clean again. You ignored the way your skin felt tight over your hips and ribs, allowing you to feel the bones as you rinsed the soap from your body. Your eyes drifted over the cuts and bruises you’d collected as if they weren’t there, refusing to acknowledge the way they began to sting as you scrubbed at the filth away. The finger sized markings around your arms and the larger bruises on your thighs had begun to turn from red to a bluish purple. You knew soon they’d turn yellow and fade entirely, and you forced yourself to remember the ones who had put them there would never be able to do so again.

Between you and Troy, you’d made sure of that.

You wondered if you should feel something for what you had done. The shock and the adrenaline of the night had faded, so where was the guilt? The revulsion from having killed a person?

Not a person, you told yourself. Just another monster. Like the dead. Worse even.

You finished your shower, eager to get dressed again.

The towels left in the shower-room were stiff and scratchy but you wouldn’t complain. You called out for Troy, hoping he might be back with something to wear so you wouldn’t have to put on your filthy clothes again.

A voice answered, but it wasn’t Troy’s.

“Name’s Mike.” The voice said, and you felt your blood ran cold.

You were naked and alone in a room with no lock on the door… and a strange man standing on the other side.

“Where’s Troy?” You asked, trying not to sound panicked.

“He’s back?” The voice - Mike - said.

Your heart thundered as you felt a wave of nausea overtake you.

Don’t pass out, you told yourself. Whatever you do, don’t. pass. out.

You pulled the scratchy towel tighter around yourself with one hand and placed the other on the door. Logically you knew if he wanted to get in you wouldn’t be able to hold it closed against him. You weren’t particularly strong before the world ended and now whilst exhausted and malnourished you had even less hope.

“He’ll be back any second,” you told him, hoping the stranger would hear the warning in your voice.

“Good. I’ll wait then.”

The ice in your veins was steadily growing hot, turning into frustration. Was this person stupid? Or where they just messing with you?

You didn’t have time to find out since the heat in your veins became almost unbearable until a loud crash, the sound of wood breaking, made you gasp and jump back from the door.

It wasn’t the man trying to break in like your first instinct told you. No, you realised what it was when you heard Troy’s furious voice begin to shout.

“Mike! What the fuck are you doing in here?”

“Looking for you! Jesus what’s got up your ass?”

Your legs almost collapsed as you sagged against the door and willed your beating heart to slow.

“You can’t be in here.” Troy said bluntly. “Get out.”

There was a moment of silence before you heard the sound of springs. Mike must have been sat on one of the bunks.

You heard the sound of the door being closed with a bang, and then footsteps drawing closer. You stumbled toward the door and flung it open, almost missing Troy’s wide eyed expression as he dropped his hand from where it was about to knock as you threw yourself face first against his chest.

Your body trembled. From fear, relief… from everything that had happen over the last twenty-fours hours, hell the last few weeks of your life! You’d had to be so strong all by yourself for so long, with no one to trust or to rely on for help.

Troy seemed to hesitate at first, unsure of how to comfort you. He settled for lightly placing his palms on your back over the the towel and waited awkwardly for your response.

As you fisted your hands into his shirt you breathed deeply, smelling the dirt and the blood and sweat of the night before. For some reason this comforted you, allowed your racing pulse to ease as Troy started making small circles on your back. His chin had dropped so his lips were pressed against your damp hair as you realised he’d begun to whisper gently soothing words to you.

“I shouldn’t have left you alone.” He said a little once you’d managed to stop shaking.

You shook your head against him, not wanting him to blame himself for your fear.

“I felt it. Felt you…” Troy then added, his voice pained. You lifted your head then to face him.

His expression made your heart break. He looked so lost, so sorrowful, that you had needed him and he hadnt been there, again.

You shook your head once more, not sure how you knew these were his thoughts but they were as clear to you as if they were your own.

“You can’t blame yourself because I left. For what they almost did…” you told him gently, willing him to believe it too.

Troy stopped rubbing circles on your back but didn’t move in the slightest to let you go.

“It was my fault. If I had just explained… or stayed away that night…”

“You were there when I needed you. When it mattered. You came for me.”

Your words did little to ease his guilt but Troy tried to smile down at you.

“Sorry about Mike. He’s kind of never got personal boundaries but he’s harmless.”

You tried not to let your unease show.

“He’s your friend?”

Troy nodded. “Since we were kids, before I was taken out of school.”

You frowned, confused. Troy’s smile faltered.

“We can talk about all that after you’ve had something to eat and some rest. I want Jake to give you a check over too - I’ll stay, if you want me to.” He said quickly as he felt you stiffen in his arms. “And then, well, we’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other.”

You tried to let that sink in. Time. It was something that had felt like it was slipping away from you since the outbreak. How much time until you found a safe place? How much time until you lost it? How long had you been hungry, thirsty… how much time did you have left to survive?

Troy indicated the bag he had dropped on the floor by the door which you saw did indeed have a crack in it where he’d pushed it open so violently.

“I’ll wait outside while you dress.”

You wanted to say it was okay for him to stay, but you knew you weren’t ready for that yet.

How strange the intimacy you shared by being able to feel each others most powerful emotions, practically reading the others thoughts at a glance… and yet this was where you hesitated.

But Troy’s eyes told you he understood. That it was ok. That anything you needed would be okay with him.

He stepped outside and pulled the door shut. You could him standing with his back to the door as if on guard through the flimsy cover over the small window. You smiled to yourself.

You clumsily pulled on the clothes he’d left you, blushing when your hands opened the brand new packet of underwear. There were a few pairs of clean socks and two basic sports bras which fit well enough to be comfortable. You wondered if Troy had picked it all for you or if he’d asked one of the women on the ranch for help. You were too embarrassed to ask.

Finally you slid your aching legs into a pair of faded jeans, having to tighten the belt to make them fit your emaciated waist. The plain, light cotton t-shirt was a little baggy but you didn’t mind.

There were no new boots or shoes but you were sure Troy just hadn’t known your size. Once you were dressed you stood awkwardly in the empty room, your fingers tugging at your damp hair to work out the knots a hairbrush just wouldn’t get through. For some reason you suddenly felt self conscious about your appearance, which was ridiculous since Troy had seen you at your worst… although there was still a small voice in your head wondering if he’d be disappointed with his soulmate now you didn’t have the excuse of being half-dead in the wild for your ragged appearance.

Drawing in a deep breath you moved to open the door and let Troy back in. He turned his head to peer at you over his shoulder.

“Feeling better?” He asked.

You nodded, “I feel human again. I've missed soap so much… and clean socks.”

“Yeah they’re like fucking gold-dust now,” Troy said as he stepped inside.

Again you stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of what was supposed to happen next until you realised Troy still hadn’t a chance to clean up. Your stomach also growled loudly again and Troy frowned.

“Eat,” he said, grabbing the bag and taking it to the table in the corner of the room. He spread out the contents as you dropped into one of the wooden chairs. As your eyes fell upon the meal you felt dizzy at the thought of a real, freshly made meal. Or as fresh as leftovers could be. Right then it looked like a banquet fit for royalty. You glanced at Troy as he sat down beside you, waiting for him to take his share.

His frown deepened as you sat unmoving.

“Something wrong?”

Your voice was thin, tired. “Aren’t you going to eat too?”

Troy’s mouth quirked up on one side, an almost smile as he shook his head.

“You first. You’re practically all bones.”

You blushed as your earlier worries came back to mind, but troy’s smile was encouraging. You knew he wasn’t intentionally poking fun at you so without further hesitation you began to tuck in.

“Not too fast,” Troy told you as you swallowed your first mouthful embarrassingly loudly. You understood why when your stomach began to clench. It had been so long since you’d eaten a decent meal your body wasn’t used to it.

You ate what could, sipping at the water bottle between bites, and once you felt satiated you realised you could barely keep your eyes open.

Troy shook out the sheets of one of the bunks, flipping the mattress as somewhere in the back your mind you pictured spiders and all sorts of creepy critters that would usually make your skin crawl. Deeming the bed he made you suitable Troy offered you his hand, helping you walk over to the bunk until you practically collapsed onto the sheets. You were vaguely aware of a pillow being placed beneath your cheek and the covers being tightened over you.

Troy paused as your eyes fluttered.

“Do you want me to go?”

You barely had the strength to speak but you managed to mumble against the softness of the pillow.

“Don’t go.”

Sleep overcame you, pulling you under a shroud of darkness so fast you were only half sure Troy had heard you. But for the first night since the dead had started walking and life had been turned into a living nightmare, you gave into sleep knowing you’d be safe

Because Troy was with you.

#troy otto #ftwd #fear the walking dead #ftwd fanfic #fanfiction #troy otto x reader #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #soulmates #soulmate fanfiction #soulmate au #soulmate #no y/n #troyxyou #don't so go fic

[ftwdb]

Imagine being in a polyamorous relationship with Troy and Nick.

Smuttyness under the link.

Troy has you sat with your back on his chest, his arms pinning your hands to your chest as your legs are hooked over his knees so he can keep you spread while Nick eats you hungrily, hands grabbing and squeezing your thighs as they keep you from being able to move as you hit your limit over and over and over…

#nick approves #troy otto #nick clark #fear the walking dead imagine #imagine #fear the walking dead #ftwd #smut #troy otto x reader smut #nick Clark x reader smut #polyamory #ftwd fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #short ficlet

[ftwdb]

Don’t say go.

Chapter 18.

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

Not proofread because I am too tired 😴

It’s dark by the time you feel the strength of The Pull reaching its peak, and you know what that means. You look around into the darkness. In the wastes there isn’t much besides stretches of empty barren land and mountains in the distance. You know you’re not yet at your destination which can only mean one thing. The boy with the flag was headed toward you too.

You see twin lights in the distance. A car headed toward you. Eventually you stop in the middle of the road and just wait. The lights get closer until they shine on your windscreen and you both sit, unmoving, just waiting for the other to make the first move.

You cut the truck’s engine and step out.

The boys does the same. The lights of your vehicles illuminate the night just enough that you can make out each other in the darkness.

The boy steps forward enough that he is more clearly thrown into view and you can see now the warm brown eyes, his features which are so different from Troy’s. Softer but still strong. You hesitate. Your gun is tucked in the back of your jeans and your fingers twitch.

The boy speaks.

“Hi… I’m Nick.”

You don’t say anything, you just keep watching until he clears his throat as if a little unsure of himself.

“You came alone?”

For a second you could have kicked yourself. Coming alone had been a risk but now that he was here, in the middle of nowhere and no one knew where you’d gone you realised how vulnerable you’d left yourself.

“For now.” You answered him flatly. At least if you were vague about whether you had people with you it might make him have second thoughts if he was planning anything questionable.

The boy waits a beat before trying again.

“I guess you felt it too then…”

You don’t want to say the words out loud so you simply nod your head. The boy, Nick, continues.

“I thought I was going crazy at first. I never thought I’d find my… find you. Feel it, you know?”

You frown at this. Everyone worries they’ll never find their soulmate but something in his voice captures your attention. It’s less that he’s worried about the odds and more… something you can’t quite distinguish.

“Why?” You ask.

Nick hesitated before shrugging a little.

“That’s a… it doesn’t matter. What matters now is that… I found you. It feels… weird. Don’t you think?”

Perhaps if you hadn’t already had the experience with Troy you would agree. But you didn’t want him to know that Troy was your soulmate and so you don’t answer his question.

“Look I came here to warn you. Some of the people from my community are coming back tonight to finish what they started before. You need to tell your people to run.”

Nick frowns at this information.

“We agreed to a truce-“

You shake your head in annoyance. You don’t want to explain all this. You want him to just listen to your warning and leave so you can forget about whatever this mistake is between you both and go home, go back to Troy.

“They’re acting of their own accord. Some of the men have certain… loyalties. This isn’t about protecting their home it’s about revenge.”

Nick is watching you closely now and you don’t like the way his eyes are roaming over you. You freeze. You wonder if he can feel your emotions just like you can with Troy. You reach out in the same way you do with Troy and try to find Nick, to feel what he feels… there’s nothing. Just the regular sense of The Pull.

“You’re warning me because of this feeling between us? You came looking for me because of it.”

You shake your head growing more frustrated as all you want to do is head back before Mike and the others see you out here.

“I don’t have time to explain myself. You have to get your people and go, far away from here. Don’t come back.”

Nick’s eyes widen as he realises you have no intention of staying with him.

“But… you have to come with me. When I left earlier, after I saw you, it felt like my heart was being-“

“It doesn’t matter.” You say quickly, all too familiar with that pain. “I can’t come. I won’t go with you. But I don’t want you to die either so, please, leave.”

Nick is staring at you incredulously.

“I can’t do that.”

You actually growl from your frustration with him.

“Why!?”

“Because,” Nick says as he steps closer. You take a large step away from him. You can’t risk him getting too close, having him touch you. You don’t know what will happen. “I just found you. I can’t walk away!”

“Then run! Drive! Fucking skip for all I care! If you stay, you die. Not that I care-“

“That’s a lie.” Nick cuts you off quickly. “Soulmates need each other. Hearts literally break when they lose one another. So why… why are you denying this?”

You swallow nervously and look at truck. You could just get back in now and drive away, but what if he follows? You have a feeling he would. He seems the type. Reckless and stubborn.

“I… it’s complicated.”

You say and you hate how pathetic that sounds.

“It’s Complicated used to be a Facebook status.” Nick quips quickly. “Tell me the truth. Why run from me?”

“I’m not!”

“Then what are you running from!? Or… wait… what are you going back to?”

You clench your jaw as Nick slowly starts to put the pieces together in his head.

“You have someone-“

“No.”

“A boyfriend? Fiancé?”

“No! No one!”

“Your home then, your community. You’re worried this would cause a problem. Conflict? But maybe it could help solve the bad blood between us! Two soulmates who find each other in opposites sides-“

“This isn’t bloody Romeo and Juliet, Nick!”

He grins and it makes you want to slap the beautiful smile off his face.

“You’re hardly Juliet sweetheart.”

You snarl, your anger beginning to erupt. Why won’t he just listen! Why make this so complicated!

“Whatever! Just get in your car and drive away Romeo!”

Nick laughs and it’s almost like he’s enjoying this.

“Oh the universe is truly a bitch. I didn’t think it’d find my soulmate because I didn’t deserve one. But maybe I do. It’s ironic that she would hate me, a poetic kind of punishment I guess…”

Your expression eases but doesn’t soften as you listen to him ramble. Hate? You didn’t hate him…

“Why would you be punished?” You ask, your senses on alert in case this was the part where he confides he’s a serial killer or something.

Nick shrugs again.

“If you got to know me, you’d understand.”

You shake your head again with a weary sigh.

“You don’t listen to do.”

Nick steps forward again and this time the light moves so he’s back in the shadows with you.

“I could… but you’d need to actually tell me something for me to hear it. Something besides “run away” because that isn’t happening.”

You swear at him and he smirks.

“We don’t have time. Your people will be killed.”

Nick rubs his hand over the back of his neck and it finally seems to dawn on him, he has other responsibilities. Other people to protect.

“When are your people attacking?” He says.

“They’re leaving the ranch around midnight, so probably by the early hours of the morning. Before sunrise though.”

“Element of surprise, cover of darkness. They’re smart.”

“And we’ll armed. So will you listen to me now?”

Nick states at you for a few seconds and you almost believe he’d let his people risk being slaughtered instead of going back to warn them.

“Fine.”

You blink at him.

“Fine?”

“That’s what I said. I’ll go back. I’ll warn them.”

“And you’ll run? You can’t fight back, it’ll be a bloodbath.”

“Look I can’t promise anything… we have some stubborn members of our group and they might not take the truce being broken well-“

“The truce isn’t broken. It’s just a small group-“

“Still breaking the truce. Still disobeying your leader, right?”

You bite your tongue. Jeremiah wasn’t their leader officially but…

“Yeah. Yeah I guess. So what? You’ll go back and they try to defend themselves?”

Nick shrugs again.

“If they think it’s more beneficial than running.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose.

“I’m getting a damn headache.”

For some reason this amuses Nick.

“Head rub?”

Your look at him is deadly and he sniggers.

“Joking. Lighten up. Look, I’ll go back and do what I can to stop anymore death. But I can’t promise anything. We lost people. The guy who was in charge came at us like a demon. We didn’t stand a chance…”

Your stomach twists as Nick talks about Troy.

“You want revenge?”

Nick’s expression blanks out and you recognise the perfectly controlled mask on his face. You’d used it yourself before.

“Me? No. But there are those who do.”

“Then convince them their lives aren’t worth it. Tonight is not their night to die. Please… no more death.”

Your voice breaks as you finish your sentence and Nick tilts his head at you. You look away, hating that you’d let some vulnerability slip through.

“Who’d you lose?”

You take a slow breath and shake your head.

“Doesn’t matter. Just… do what you can. And if you can’t save them… save yourself at least.”

Nick looks like he wants to say more. He looks pained.

“Can I… see you again?”

It’s almost laughable. Like a schoolboy asking out his crush. You place your hand on the door of the truck and grip it tight as you give him a firm “no” and turn away before you can see the look on his face.

You slide into your truck and slam the door, locking it before turning in the engine. This was for the best. You didn’t know what else to do. There had been some mistake and maybe Nick had another soulmate out there somewhere too? You hoped so… you didn’t want him to be in pain.

You hear a loud tap at the window and you look over to see Nick still standing there, motioning for you to wind it down. You do, only a few inches so you can hear him speak.

Nick pauses as he looks you over before speaking.

“It’s him, isn’t it.”

You frown and Nick elaborates.

“The guy who attacked us. The one whose skull was caved in. He’s why you won’t stay with me.”

You feel your stomach drop. How did he know? Your hands clench on the wheel as you grit your teeth.

“His name is Troy.”

“Troy…” Nick repeats and you hear the sadness and disappointment in his voice. “Well, you must love him a lot to chose him over your soulmate.”

You avoid his eyes still and stare straight ahead until the light from his car burns your eyes.

Nick continues.

“… I hope he makes it, for your sake. And… I want you to know it wasn’t me. I didn’t hurt him.”

You nod. Not that it would have mattered, as much as you loved Troy you could understand he’d made a choice that led to his own injuries. Even if he’d done it to protect you… you hated that the blood spilled was on your hands too now.

“I have to go.” You say emptily, and put the truck into reverse.

Nick steps back just in time to save his foot being run over as you reverse and turn, glancing back to see his shadow in the headlights as you drive back home. Back to Troy. Back to where your heart felt complete… as you try to ignore how it felt as if you’d just left a piece of it in the darkness behind you…

#troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd #ftwd fanfic #troy otto x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #Nick Clark #Nick Clark x reader #Nick Clark x y/n #don’t say go fic #soulmate fanfiction #soulmate au #soulmate #ftwd season 3

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go

Chapter 1

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

You woke with a start, your hand coming to the thrumming sensation in your chest as you gasped and panted. How many nights had it been now since the feeling had woken you, pulling you from much needed sleep at all hours? You’d lost count.

You wished you could remember your dream, to make the link between the figure you kept seeing in your sleep and the pull in your chest that never faded; a silhouette in the dark, moving closer as you tried to reach out a hand to grasp the shadowy outline.

Sometimes you thought you saw the profile of a face, a strong jaw with a defined nose. Eyes that swam between such a dark hue of blue they seemed black and at other times the gentle colours of a calm ocean. The features always melted away when you woke, no matter how hard you tried to remember them, to scribble down what you could in the small red notebook you kept tucked inside your boot. The images were scattered and jumbled, so close to becoming a complete picture; one your subconscious seemed to tell you held the an answer you didn’t even know you were seeking.

It had started when you’d left the remains of San Diego with nothing but the clothes on your back and the supplies you’d managed to scavange in your backpack. At first you’d thought little of it until you noticed when you headed in a certain direction the feeling seemed to grow stronger.

It had been with shock that you realised it was more than just the grief of all you’d lost, the fear of the dead and the unknown stretched out before you. It was it. The Pull. That was when the dreams started.

Everyone knew about the Pull and you were glad there was no one to berate you for how slow you’d been to realise what it meant.

That your soulmate, whoever they may be, was close.

You’d wandered with nothing but the feeling in your chest to guide you, moving in an easterly direction as you rose with the sun each morning and slept when it had disappeared beyond the horizon at your back at night. There was one morning when you had woken to feel nothing, and it had left you clawing at your skin, painfully aware of the hollowness within you that came with the loss of the Pull.

You’d lain down and grieved again that day. You remembered the lessons you’d been given about soulmate’s, what it meant to be one of the few lucky enough to find their match… and what it meant to be one of the many who never would.

At the start of the rise of the dead you’d witnessed the survivors around you randomly crumple over with an agonising pain, searing so deeply it felt like their hearts were broke in two. This pain… it was how you knew your soulmate was dead.

So as you lay there with your eyes closed against the morning light, you tried to reach inside and find the cord that tied you to someone you’d never met, never known and never would, you waited for the pain.

But it never came.

Once the sun was at its highest point in the sky and you were just beginning to consider retracing your steps back toward the ruins of San Diego - since there was nothing for you here other than sunscorched grass and hopelessness - that it hit you like a punch to the chest. An invisable hand reached between your ribs and pulled. The feeling was strong enough that you felt physically lifted to your feet.

Ignoring the worn state of your boots that were on the verge of falling apart, your tired and aching mucles began to scream at you; but not in resistance of your movement, instead your body urged you on.

You moved as quickly as you could, stumbling over dry earth and crumbling rock. The Pull kept you going, driving you further east. You pulled the map from your bag, stopping even as your feet ached and screamed at you.

Go, you’re so close…

Your head began to swim as you tried to fix your eyes on the lines printed on the page in front of you. You’d marked off your route, making note of any landmarks you passed to keep track of your journey. But as another feeling overtook the one that had been propelling you onward you looked toward the sky and realised just how low the sun had fallen.

It was almost night and your mouth was dry as the paper in your hands. You panicked, realising you’d neither eaten or had anything to drink as you licked your chapped lips and tasted the salt of your sweat soaked skin.

The last remnants of your water disappeared all too quickly as your legs finally collapsed and you hit the ground hard.

That was when you heard it. The low rumble of an engine in the distance. A set of lights appeared and lit the ground around you. You were closer to a road than you’d realised as a truck rolled to a slow stop nearby.

The feeling in your chest tightened. You could barely breath as a door opened and boots hit the ground, sending up a swirl of dust and dirt around legs clad in military gear.

You tried to stand but your head swam even more, the very ground beneath you seemed to lurch upward as your eyes travelled over the oncoming man.

He was tall, the light of his truck illuminated a mess of slightly curled hair and cast shadows over his face. As he moved closer and you collapsed back on the ground, the dry grass scratching at the exposed skin on the nape of your neck, you felt the pull of the bond finally give out as if a spring pulled taught had finally been released. You felt it pass through your entire body, a feeling of relief like when you woke after a deep sleep, stretching out the sleepiness from your muscles as the blood pumped and flowed.

The man, who had been holding a rifle in front of his face as he glanced around into the darkness, gasped. He said something then, but your ears were muffled by the sound of rushing water.

Before the dizziness swallowed you up and you fell into utter darkness you felt the smile stretch across your face. You tried to speak but your dry throat could only groan.

You didn’t see the way the man lowered his gun and stepped closer, his eyes fixing on the rise and fall of your chest. You were breathing slightly too fast and the signs of exposure were obvious on your skin. He heard footsteps behind him and gestured for one of his men to go to you as he took a step back and observed the girl he’d been dreaming of for weeks.

“Troy, we need to get her back to the ranch if she’s got a chance in hell of waking up.”

Troy made a sound in his throat, an affirmation, as the other man lifted the girl with ease and moved her onto the backseat of Troy’s truck.

He could now observe her more closely in the light. She was thin, long limbs covered by filthy clothes. He wondered how long she had been wandering. Had she felt it too? The never-ending ache in his chest had left him searching the wilderness day after day under the guise of searching for supplies or defending the perimeter from the dead, or those who saught to take what they had.

Once his eyes had settled on her face and he’d known it was her it was like the need in his body, as strong as a need for water after a long day working in the sun, bled from him completely and he felt whole.

So why, as he stared at the unconsious woman from the front seat of his truck, did he feel so…

Disappointed.

#troy otto #ftwd #ftwd fanfic #fear the walking dead #fear the walking dead fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #troy otto x reader #troy otto x you #soulmates #troy is kind of a dick but the power of love wins out #unhealthy attachment #die for love #eventual smut #troyotto #troy otto season 3 #ftwdfanfic #romance #dark romance #unhealthy relationships #unhealthy obsession #trigger warnings #violence #assault #revenge #lovers who are just bad for each other #soulmate fanfiction #soulmate au #soulmate #don't say go fic

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 7.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

There was a natural curosity about you as the newest member of the ranch. People were eager to hear how you had survived your journey from San Diego to Broke Jaw, especially since you’d been a young woman alone. You’d faked a smile and shrugged at their questions, claiming you’d just gotten lucky. If the militia hadn’t found you when they did you’d have died out there for certain.

Jake, the man with the kind face who had treated you, had seemed both surprised and relieved and when you’d returned at Troy’s side. When they’d nodded awkwardly at each other with a muttered “brother” as their greeting you’d been surprised to realise they were siblings - although only half you’d come to learn.

They shared the same father and meeting him had been… interesting.

He’d not even allowed Troy to speak when he’d led you into his home, opening the door to let you through as he shuffled self-consciously. You’d tried to offer him a small smile, confused why the man who had so easily slit the throat of another now seemed almost afraid of his own home.

Jeremiah had been sat at a large, wooden desk surrounded by shelves of books and files. He’d sat back in his chair, using one thumb to lift his hat from his eyes as he regarded you both with a dark expression.

“So this is her, is it?”

You glanced at Troy, who avoided your gaze but you caught the twitch in his jaw before he replied flatly.

“Jake told you.”

Jeremiah nodded before looking you up and down. You weren’t sure what he was examining you for but if the look on his face told you anything it was that he hadn’t found it.

“Of course Jake told me. You go running off out there alone, no backup, no nothin’. ‘Course it would be for... a woman.”

You felt yourself bristle at his tone and clenched your fists behind your back as you tried to keep up the pretender of politeness, which was more than Jeremiah had bothered to do.

You’d suddenly thought of your father, the way he had danced with your mother in the kitchen and twirled her round as if he were showing her off to the entire world.

Even though Jeremiah had two sons from two wives you guessed neither had been his soulmate. You couldn’t picture this man showing any sort of affection except perhaps to the half-empty bottle you spotted on his desk.

You wanted to reach out and grab Troy’s hand, squeeze it tight and tell him everything would be okay. But you didn’t. You hadn’t touched each other since you’d placed your hand on his chest and felt electricity coursing through your body. Would it be like that everytime? Is that why your father had never been able to be within reach of your mother without pulling her into him or stroking her cheek or her hair?

You were suddenly snapped from your memories by Troy’s voice.

“Soulmate.” He had said quietly.

Jeremiah rose an eyebrow.

“What’s that now?”

Troy finally looked at you, one quick glance as if you make sure you were really there before he spoke again.

“I said, she’s my soulmate.”

Jeremiah looked as if he were resisting the urge to laugh. Instead he sighed deeply, like a man in need of more than sleep.

“Right. Right. Well at least this one ain’t lying on her deathbed somewhere like your brother.”

You frowned. The coldness in Jeremiah’s voice was painful to hear and even though you barely knew him you were glad Jake wasn’t nearby to hear how his father had just spoken of him.

“So,” Jeremiah said as he brought a hand down against his desk, “she got a name?”

You heard Troy’s intake of breath as he went to speak but your name was out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. You would not be spoken about as if you weren’t in the room.

He regarded you silently and you sensed mild amusement as Troy remained frozen at your side. As you forced yourself to keep eye-contact with his father your mind was racing. Something wasn’t right about the way Troy and Jeremiah were together. The tension in the air, the way Troy held himself so stiffly as if ready to run or fight at any second, it set alarm bells ringing in your head.

“You know missy-”

You reiterated your name firmly and felt Troy flinch ever so slightly at your side.

Had you done the wrong thing? Would he be mad?

You felt within yourself for the connection you’d shared back in the abandoned house, to see if you could sense what he felt but there was only the contented quiet that came with being at his side.

“God damn you remind me of my second wife, she wouldn’t let me get a word in either.”

Troy let out a long breath and you finally allowed yourself to breakaway from Jeremiah’s gaze. Your soulmate was suddenly inspecting the ceiling above his father’s head and you wondered if he was even paying attention to his father’s voice anymore. He was clearly speaking of Troy’s mother and that thought increased your dislike of Jeremiah tenfold.

“The universe is strange like that,” you said as cooly as you could.

“The universe, hm?” Jeremiah echoed quietly, his eyes glazing over for a few seconds.

“We should go clean up,” Troy interupted, seemingly snapping back into the room as he looked at you and nodded toward the stairs. He made to move, to lead you upstairs to where you assumed there was a bathroom, before Jeremiah cleared his throat loudly.

“Not under my roof, Troy.”

He’d only managed a few steps when Troy turned to look at his father again, scowling.

Jeremiah’s face was stony, disapproving. You wondered if he had the ability to form any other expression.

“We have a working bathroom-”

“There’re showers in the bunkhouse. She can stay there for the time being, prove herself worthy of her place on the ranch before anything gets decided.”

The way Jeremiah spoke made it clear there would be no arguing with his decision and begrudgingly you thought he wasn’t being entirly unreasonable. Having a stranger suddenly appear in your home and start treating it like their own was a little intrusive. Your cheeks warmed as you realised he may have also been implying that certain other activities were not permitted ‘under his roof’ even though both you and Troy were adults.

“What do you mean before anything gets decided?” Troy asked, his eyes narrowing. “She’s not leaving.”

The tension in the air grew thicker by the second as Jeremiah slowly rose from his chair. Troy straightened up, but he didn’t back down from his father’s glare. Your heart rate quickened and you found your throat constricting as panic began to take over. You closed your eyes and tried to force yourself to calm down, to breathe…

But it wasn’t your panic you were feeling.

“You telling me what who can and cannot stay on my ranch, boy?”

It seemed Troy had realised his mistake; to challange his father’s authority had caused a spark that Jeremiah wouldn’t allow to grow into a fire. It would be quashed, drowned out. Suffocated.

“I just meant… she’s my soulmate.”

Troy’s voice was still determined but he sounded more petulant, like a teenager about to stamp their feet and declare that something just wasn’t fair.

“You said that already, I’m not senile yet son. But she will earn her place just like every other member of this ranch. No freeloaders. So if you’re so desperate for…” He looked to you quickly and you dreaded to think of the words running through his head at that moment.

“Your new friend here to remain, I suggest you get her up to speed quick. Starting by showing her where the bunk house is.”

You decided, in your exhausted, filthy and ravenous state, that perhaps it was time to intervene before Troy or his father’s heads exploded.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to meet your expectations.” You said frankly with a nod and an empty smile at Jeremiah. You slipped your hand into Troy’s and gave it a squeeze as you heard his sudden intake of breath at the contact. You didn’t miss the way Jeremiah scowled at your linked palms as you gave Troy the slightest of nudgest to encourage him to lead you from the house.

Neither of you spoke as you walked down the steps and along the dirt-road. You could have sworn you could feel Jeremiah’s eyes staring daggers at the back of your head but you didn’t dare turn to check.

Eventually you’d looked to your side to check on Troy. He was wearing the same scowl as his father, his eyes dark and staring straight ahead. You wondered if he was angry with you.

You were also suddenly very aware that there were people looking at you both as Troy practically marched you toward the collection of tents and caravan. Confused and feeling self-conscious you tried to pull your hand from Troy’s and the movement seemed to jar him from his thoughts.

His eyes snapped to you and you found yourself unable to meet them. Troy stopped abruptly.

“Something wrong with being seen with me?” he said with the same harshness you’d heard in his voice when you’d first spoken in the medical tent.

You blinked up at him, trying to figure out if it was you he was so angry with.

“Of course not,” you assured him. “I just thought…”

Troy waited and you marvelled at how similar he and his father were when it came to making you feel so small with just a look.

“I thought I made you angry. Did I fuck up completely back there?”

Troy stared at you as his expression relaxed before a huge grin spread over his face.

“Are you kidding? Not many people can hold their own against Big Otto.”

You scratched at your neck, itchy from dirt and sweat, and sighed tiredly.

“I felt like he hated me.”

“Probably.”

You gave Troy a look that clearly told him he wasn’t helping. He shrugged.

“My father… he’s a stubborn son-of-a-bitch. If he wants you to prove something to him… you’ve just got to play his game.”

“Is that really all his problem is? He doesn’t seem to think much of the whole soulmate thing.”

You stopped yourself from shuffling your feet in the dirt like a shy schoolgirl. Your journey back to the ranch had been mostly in easy silence, you’d both had a lot to process after all so there hadn’t been much of a conversation about what came next.

Whatever that was supposed to be.

Either unaware of the prying eyes upon you both or simply not caring, Troy had closed the space between you, his grin relaxing into a coy half smile as he slid his hand back into yours.

The jolt was there again, like before, except not quite as intense. It still sent a shiver down your spine.

“Well… that’s probably another conversation for another time.” He’d told you softly, “For now, let’s get you settled in.”

#troy otto #ftwd #fear the walking dead #ftwd fanfic #fanfiction #troy otto x reader #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #soulmates #soulmate fanfiction #soulmate au #no y/n #don’t say go #don't say go fic

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 10.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

You’d been sitting on the steps of the Otto house when the militia returned. Troy had been behind the wheel of the first truck and spotted you instantly as he came to a halt. His eyes never left your face as he stepped from the vehicle, barking orders at the men inside as he did so.

You stood, wiping your slightly sweaty hands on the cut off jeans you’d been given, glancing at where Mike was sat in the passenger seat of the truck avoiding your eyes (you had a feeling Troy had had a few choice words with him after the incident in the bunk’s shower) whilst another man you couldn’t remember the name of bundled someone out of the backseat.

You frowned as Troy reached you.

“You okay?” Troy asked, examining your face.

You nodded, forcing yourself to look at him and not at the strange sight at the truck.

“Of course. Sorry I didn’t want to worry you, I was just waiting for you get back.”

Troy hmm-ed in such a way that you knew he could tell there was something on your mind, but your decision to have a heart to heart was quickly being forgotten.

“Who is that?” You asked.

Troy glanced back over his shoulder as Mike and Blake led the stranger to the medical tent.

“Not sure yet. Maybe no one,” Troy said as he took your hand.

You weren’t sure what to make of his answer but as his fingers curled between yours you quickly felt your anxiety fading. The tension in your chest was also easing. It was a feeling like sinking into a hot bath at the end of a long, cold day. For a moment your entire being buzzed with the sense of relief at having your soulmate back with you.

Troy’s men filed by without a word. You realised it was odd for Troy to behave like this. Even though he’d been by your side at every moment he could when you’d returned to the ranch he hadn’t shown any kind of affection toward you in front of anyone else.

You’d tried not to overthink it and respected his need for space. It was still a big adjustment for you both, and a shock to everyone else as you’d came to understand.

You’d overheard people whispering sometimes, looking at Troy with an almost fearful expression. You assumed in his role as head of the militia he had to have a certain aura of authority to command respect and obedience. Perhaps that was why gestures like this weren’t in his nature, he couldn’t be soft when he had so many people relying on him for for protection.

Including you.

Guilt suddenly began to eat away at you. During your time at the ranch all you’d done was eat and hide away. Troy had followed your lead patiently, it was time to start giving something back as thanks for his understanding.

“I was waiting because I think it’s time I did something for this place. Contributed.”

Troy’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, but only for a moment.

“Did Jake say you're ready because-“

“I’m fine,” you tried to reassure him with a smile and a squeeze of his hand, “I promise to take it easy at first. But I can’t be the only freeloader in this place.”

Troy’s eyes flashed.

“Did someone say something? My father?”

You shook your head.

“Everyone has been great,” if a little intense, you thought. “I just want to feel like I belong here.”

“You do,” Troy said almost too forcefully, “you belong with me.”

Your smile this time was genuine.

Troy began to relax and you let him lead you toward the bunk house before deciding you didn’t want to spend the rest of the day closed away.

“Can’t I stay with you?” You asked.

Troy shook his head, “Not until I get more intel on our newest arrival.”

“You think he’s dangerous?”

Troy’s shoulders were tense, his loose grip on your hand a giveaway that he was trying too hard to appear relaxed.

“I don’t trust strangers,” was all he said.

You couldn’t help the quiet laugh as Troy shot you a quizzical look.

“I’d never have guessed,” you teased. Troy scowled as he thought about how you’d met, how cruel he must have seemed to have sent you running off into the wild where he could’ve lost you for good.

You gave a playful tug of his hand.

“It’s okay, you know. Everything turned out okay.”

Troy didn’t reply but his scowl eased.

“Just promise me you’ll stay in the bunk house until I’m sure you’ll be safe.”

Worry nagged at you. If Troy was really so concerned then why bring the stranger back to the ranch at all?

As you reached the familiar door Troy spun to face you, pulling from your grip as he placed both hands gently on your arms instead. His hold was loose enough that you didn’t feel threatened by him, even as he towered over you, but you could sense the tension radiating from him.

“Just a few hours and I’ll be back. I promise.”

“In time for dinner?” You said. “We could eat with the others tonight. Together?”

You could tell his smile was strained as he promised to walk you from your bunk to the canteen. Your cheeks warmed a little as you spoke quietly.

"Like a date?"

Troy paused, torn between amusement and his sense of duty as he knew his brother would be waiting with questions. And his father, no doubt. He had brought home two stragglers this week and it had not put him in good stead with Big Otto so far.

"Like a date. Although I hope you don't expect flowers," Troy shot at you as he opened your door and ushered you inside.

You pretended to be disappointed as you said your goodbyes. Troy waited until you had closed your door and he heard the bolt slide shut before hastily making his way across the campsite. You watched him leave from the window, genuinely disappointed to see him go already but feeling happier at the thought of sharing a real meal with him that night. Perhaps even getting to know some of the militia a little better, since they were who Troy spent most of his time with. You could figure out the best way to contribute to the ranch once you'd sized everyone up and knew who would be the most tolerable to spend your days with.

Heading toward the shower room you decided to clean up as best you could before dinner, even picking out the cleanest clothes you had. They were nothing special, a pair of worn jeans that weren't stained and a light blue shirt made of soft cotton. You peered at yourself in the small mirror, already seeing how much better you were beginning to look after several days rest and proper food.

For the first time in weeks you allowed yourself to feel a small spark of happiness as you picked up your brush and began working it through your hair. Perhaps it was time to start believing in this place, in Troy... in a future.

XXX

He could hear raised voices before he'd even reached the medical tent. Troy braced himself as he swept aside the fabric that made up the entrance and set his jaw as his father's gaze fell to him.

"What in the holy hell were you thinking boy?" Jeremiah sneered at him.

Jake tried to sidestep his father, to put himself between him and his little brother as he had when they were children. But they were no longer children and Troy would not accept his brother treating him as such anymore.

"I was thinking he was already close to the ranch. He'd have come across us eventually." Troy said flatly, "Better to bring him in on our terms then have him sneak inside or turn out there."

Jeremiah scoffed, "Cooper already briefed me about your scouting mission today. One sickly man or lone undead is hardly a threat to us."

Troy hid his clenched fists behind his back. Of course the only person with higher rank when it came to the militia's intel was his father, he couldn't blame Cooper for telling Jeremiah what they had come across in the wastes if Jeremiah had asked, even if having him disobey his instructions did piss him off royally.

"I made a call," Troy shrugged. "You want him gone? I can take care of him now."

Jake began to dismiss Troy's words, insisting it wasn't necessary, whilst Troy and his father stared at each other. If Otto ordered him to shoot the man dead where he lay, cuffed and unconscious on his bed - the same bed you had lain in - Troy would do it.

His father sighed.

"It's a waste of resources. The man's on death's door."

Troy nodded, an unspoken understanding passing between the two. His clenched fist moved to the gun ever present at his side.

"You can't be serious?" Jake said, mouth agape as he watched his brother flick the safety off his weapon.

"Father's orders," Troy said, hearing his own voice as if from far away.

"This is... this is murder. The man isn't bit. He could live if we helped him!"

"And if he doesn't? What if we waste our medicine on a stranger, on one of the unprepared, what then Jake?" Jeremiah said almost tiredly.

Jake shook his head.

"We have plenty of medicine-"

"For now. We don't know what's going to happen, how long we will need to survive. We should prioritise our own."

Your name was on Troy's lips as he stopped himself asking why his father had allowed you to stay but not this man. You'd both been at death's door. Troy knew how his father felt about soulmates, a sentiment Troy had shared before meeting you and having everything his father had ever told him about the phenomena turned upside down. Had Jeremiah let you stay for him? It wasn't in his heart to show such kindness, or leniency.

It was a puzzle he was still pondering on.

His father seemed to know exactly what thoughts were plaguing his youngest son.

"Don't think I've forgotten about our other newest member just because she hides away in the bunkhouse all day."

"She' recovering-" Jake interjected before his father's raised hand silenced him.

"She's freeloading-"

"She's ready to work," Troy said louder than intended, a spark in his chest threatening to ignite at the way his father spoke of you. "She said so herself before I came here. She wants to earn her place."

Jeremiah's brows nearly disappeared beneath his hat.

"Is that so?"

Troy nodded as Jake looked exasperatedly between the two men.

"Then she can help me, here in the medical tent. I'll train her, we need more people with medical knowledge."

Troy found the suggestion agreeable. If he had to leave you with anyone his brother was a good choice. He knew Jake would watch over you when he couldn't.

"She can help me treat this man," Jake continued, "It's not a waste of resources if we're using him for training."

Jeremiah waved his hands in the air as if washing the pair of his sons from them. Troy could see the twitching of his fingers that said his father was missing the feel of a bottle between them. He tried not to smile at his brother's quick thinking.

"He's got until sundown tomorrow to show some sign of improving. If not, Troy will take care of him."

With that Jeremiah pushed past his children and exited the tent, leaving the brother's to stare at each in silence. Jake looked tiredly at the gun still in Troy's hand.

"You don't have to follow every order you know," he said almost bitterly.

Troy didn't respond. How easy it was for his big brother to judge him. They'd both suffered as children at their father's hands but Jake had always been the golden child. It was Troy who'd usually be the target of his father and mother's ire, no matter how hard he tried to please them.

He turned to leave as Jake called after him to send you to the tent in the morning. Troy would walk you before meeting with the militia to organise the next scouting mission at the border. He'd feel better knowing you'd be with Jake and not alone in the bunkhouse until he returned.

He ran a hand through his unkempt hair, feeling the knots mingled with dried blood. He still had time to clean up before dinner and turned to walk toward the main house. It was as his eyes fell on the set of steps you'd been sitting on when he'd returned earlier that he remembered the look on your face moments before your eyes had met his. You'd look deep in thought, as if preparing yourself for something and it had left a sense of dread in his gut as he'd stepped from the truck.

Troy was good at reading people. A skill he'd developed as a child to know where and when the next danger would come from. A blow to the face from his father in a drunken rage or words that cut as sharp as any knife from his mother as she ran out of drink and was forced to go through the tremors and sickness caused by the sobriety she rarely allowed herself to fall into.

He'd been too distracted by the dying man to question you further about your unusual venture from the bunkhouse, but he would be sure to get to the truth after he took some time to shower and rest.

#troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd fanfic #ftwd #fanfiction #fear the walking dead fanfic #fanfic #ftwdfanfic #troy otto x reader #soulmate #au #troy otto x you #no y/n #don't say go fic

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 9.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

“How did you survive all alone?”

“Have you killed any dead?”

“Did you have to kill any people?”

“What happened to your family?”

“Were you in the city when in burned?”

The questions came thick and fast. Apparently you weren’t the first newcomer to the ranch, but you were the first survivor. Others had arrived in groups and with their families. The ranch had been set up as a haven in the event of the collapse of civilisation, so of course when the dead rose everyone who had invested or who knew about the ranch and had something to offer - supplies, knowledge or even just the ability to work the land - made their way to the Otto’s.

That made you a curiosity to the ranchers. A source of information about the outside world.

Unfortunately it was also why you found yourself curled up in your bunk with the covers pulled over your head.

The day after your arrival Jeremiah had demanded Troy continue with his duties as head of the militia, and without the youngest of the Otto’s there to glare at anyone who dare quiz you, you found yourself hiding away as much as possible.

It had been only a few days and you were still in recovery. Jake had convinced his father to give you time to rest before being assigned a job and was monitoring you daily.

You knew the sound of his fist against the bunkhouse door and reluctantly pushed the covers aside to cross the room and pulled back the bolt.

Jake smiled warmly and you couldn’t help but return the gesture as you stood aside to let him in. He ran through the usual tests, asked a few questions about how you were feeling and what you’d been eating before declaring he was happy with your progress.

“Were you studying medicine before?” You asked.

Jake shook his head, “No. But I’m a fast learner and we had a good doctor on the ranch.”

“Had?”

Jake’s expression grew solemn and you noticed in that moment the similarities between him and his brother.

“There was an elderly lady who passed, natural causes, and as our doctor was trying to resuscitate her she… came back.”

You grimaced at the thought.

“It was how we learnt you didn’t need to be bitten to turn. The doc survived the attack and kept a record of his deterioration. Troy helped.”

You noticed the change in his voice when Jake mentioned his brother. There was something almost bitter in the way Jake spoke. You wondered if there was some sort of jealousy between them, a brotherly rivalry perhaps?

You thought back to meeting their father. Yes, you could certainly see Jeremiah Otto as the type to fan the fires of competitiveness between his sons.

“I can continue advising my father that you need a few more days rest, but he’ll insist on putting you to work soon.” Jake continued.

You nodded. As much as you preferred an excuse to avoid the hustle and bustle of the ranch you were starting to grow bored in your free time. Having something to focus on while Troy wasn’t with you would at least give you a distraction from the unpleasant ache it left in your chest.

“I want to earn my place,” you told him earnestly.

Jake smiled as he stood to leave. His presence was one of few that put you at ease, but when his expression faltered you instantly felt yourself tense.

“I’ve been meaning to ask…” he started hesitantly, “Troy told me about what happened to you. Those men-“

You couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath as a flash of memory flickered through your mind. You gripped the edge of the bunk, but said nothing.

“One of our members here used to work as a therapist, before she retired. I can ask her to come see you if-“

“No.” You said sharply before feeling slightly guilty about your tone as Jake nodded.

“The offer is always open. You don’t need to hide away here, this is a safe place.”

You tried to smile but the muscles in your face felt stiff and heavy. You avoided Jake’s eyes as you said something about being fine. That you’d just needed to rest.

Once he had left and you’d bolted the door behind him you allowed your limbs to begin to shake as you slid down the door. Your breath came in short gasps and your eyes stung as you willed the memory of a heavy body pushing on top of you away…

You hadn’t even told Troy that what those men had done was nothing compared to before. You just couldn't find the words.

But if Troy had told Jake… was it out of concern? You thought you’d been doing okay, trying to fit in, to be normal in a world that had gone crazy over night.

Had Troy also told him what you’d done to the man who had tried to rape you?

The memory of the knife in your hand and the smell of blood made you gag.

It was a conversation you had avoided so far, that night when Troy had come after you.

But perhaps it was time for you and Troy to stop tiptoeing around each other with niceties and formalities and finally, really talk.

XXX

Troy examined the blood on his knife with interest. He’d been trying to keep a record of the coagulation process in the un-dead. So far he’d noted the blood still rotted, clumping together in clots that smelled foul, but not at the same rate as the dead who had been put down permanently. Destruction of the brain seemed to trigger the proper state of decay. He wished he could study it better, in a controlled environment.

A voice broke through the fog of his thoughts as Mike came into view. Troy flicked the grim fluid onto the grass and sheathed his blade.

“What?”

“Said that’s one of the largest herds we’ve seen so far. What do you think?”

Troy inclined his head in agreement. As interesting as he found watching the behaviour of the dead he didn’t like how close they were to the ranch. In his head he pictured the fences being surrounded, the moans of the dead echoing around them. He pictured your face, terrified and betrayed that the home he’d promised would keep you safe became a hunting ground for the dead.

“We step up patrols, try and figure out what direction they’re coming from.”

“Start with the border?” Cooper suggested as he fell inline beside his superior.

“We’ll take a team,” Troy agreed, catching Mike’s expression shift as he ordered his men to clean themselves up before heading back to the ranch. They’d returned once before covered in blood and gore, much to the shock of the ranchers. Troy decided it wasn’t worth the panic it caused to see them in such a state and made each militia member swear an oath to tell no one of what they came across in their patrols without his permission. Scared people were often stupid, especially in groups.

He waited until Mike was alone before he caught his attention.

“You got a problem, Mike?”

His friend eyed him warily. There was a bond between them that went back into their childhood. As sons of the founding fathers they had an allegiance like none of the other militia members. And Mike, for all his faults, had always stood by Troy. But that didn’t mean Troy would let insubordination slip.

“Sure don’t,” Mike replied with faux cheerfulness.

Troy cocked his head to one side as he always did when sizing someone up. Mike avoided his gaze as he wiped the blood from his hands and face and Troy knew he only had to wait for the real answer to come. Mike was a loudmouth, he couldn’t stop himself from talking sometimes.

“It’s just-”

There we go, thought Troy.

“-the border? I thought your dad didn’t want us heading too far that way? It’s dangerous.”

Troy spread his boots in the dirt as his hands rested on his hips. Cowardice was one of the faults in Mike he’d had to overlook over the years.

“You’re right. Big Otto gave me orders, but you follow mine. I say the danger is getting too close to home. You do want to protect it, right,”

“Of course I do!” Mike protested.

“So we take care of it before it becomes a problem. Cut out the infection at the source instead of just treating the symptoms,” Troy gestured at the dead littered about them.

Mike made a noise that sounded like reluctant agreement. Honestly, Troy wondered why he had even joined the militia. He wasn’t a fighter, not at heart. He supposed everyone needed a place though, and Mike had always felt the need to prove himself to everyone. Perhaps it was the burden of being Vernon Trimbol's only son.

“Hey Troy, we got a straggler!” called Cooper.

Troy followed his gaze and spotted a figure limping toward them. He frowned. The movement, although clumsy, was too quick and precise to be one of the dead.

“I want eyes on them, now,” Troy snapped. Immediately his men raised their weapons.

Cooper was peering through his binoculars, muttering to himself as Troy strode over to his side with Mike close behind.

“We got a live one?”

“Two in one week. Maybe it’s another soulma-“

Troy snatched the binoculars from Cooper, almost strangling him in the process and shooting him daggers as his words were choked off. He felt Mike watching him but chose to ignore both the men as he got a closer look at the newcomer.

Troy hadn’t spoken at length with anyone about the appearance of his soulmate. Of course rumours spread, idle gossip that Troy would not entertain. His business was no one else’s, not even Mike’s.

“Looks like a male. Young. Can’t see much from more here though.”

“Wanna send out a welcome wagon?” Mike said coldly.

Troy dropped the binoculars and walked back to his truck. “Coop, stay here and keep watch. Mike, Blake, with me.”

It took only minutes to reach the stranger, who dropped to their knees in relief as the truck came to a dusty stop. Troy, Blake and Mike approached cautiously, guns raised as the man lifted shaking arms into the air.

“Don’t shoot,” he croaked.

Troy took in the filthy clothes, the bloody rags wrapped around the side of the man’s face which obscured most of his features.

“You bit?” He asked.

The man shook his head.

“Blake. Double-check.”

Blake roughly pulled away the man’s backpack and stripped him of most of his clothes before they were content that they were being told the truth. Meanwhile the stranger was trying to speak, babbling incoherently. Troy could see why. He wasn't just exhausted and victim of the elements, one side of his body looked sore and blistered, like he'd been burned.

“What happened to you? You get caught in the bombings?”

With shaking hands the man pressed his fingers to the rags. His one exposed eye darkened.

“I was attacked. In my sleep. I think I’m blind…”

Troy ran his tongue over the inside of his cheek as he always did when he was thinking. The man looked on death's door but bringing in like-minded people, fellow survivors, could only make them stronger. Was this man one of those people? He must have been strong to have survived in such a state.

“Blake, cuff him and bag him. We’ll have Jake look him over back home.”

The man gave a dry sob and thanked them even as he was blind-folded and bundled into the truck. Troy, annoyed at the sound of his pathetic voice, turned up the volume on the truck's music player.

Blake sat in the back with a knife in his fist, the other bundled in the back of the man’s shirt. Mike was frowning.

It was then Troy felt something in his chest. A familiar tug that told him he’d been gone from home too long. Your face swam before his eyes before he blinked it away and he couldn’t stop the edges of his mouth quirking upward as he felt a rush of eagerness to return home.

#troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd fanfic #fanfiction #ftwd #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #troy otto x reader #soulmates #au #season 3 #don't say go fic

[ftwdb]

Mood Board for my Soulmate AU Troy Otto x Reader fic, find it pinned to the top of my blog!

#troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd #ftwd fanfic #troy otto x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #don’t say go #mood board

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 6.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

You hadn’t left the house straight away. When you’d mentioned that one of you should destroy the brain so Derek wouldn’t come back Troy had looked at the body thoughtfully.

“He doesn’t deserve to rest.” he’d said quietly.

You’d watched as your soulmate doused his fingertips in the man’s blood and written the word ‘rapist’ across his chest. Your gut clenched as you felt those hands on you again, heard the sound of a belt buckle. Troy’s eyes snapped to you as if he knew what you were feeling.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he told you.

You shook your head. Maybe not this time. You’d tried to be safe, cautious. If you’d known the gun wasn't loaded maybe you’d tried to run, fought harder…

The sound of Troy’s boot coming down on Dereks mouth made you flinch. Teeth scattered across the floor like dice on a board game before Troy pulled a zip tie from his pocket. He tied Dereks hands and feet before taking a step back.

“He’s a big guy, he’ll take a while to turn. He can rot here for what he did to you.”

You felt yourself begin to tremble then. The adrenaline of the attack faded as you closed your eyes, your hands coming up to hug yourself tight. You felt Troy move closer, could feel his heat so close you knew if you just bent your head forward ever so slightly it would be resting on his chest.

Troy didn’t move to touch you, and you didn’t invite him to. Instead he quietly prompted you to follow him outside as he picked up your backpack and slung it over his shoulder.

The man who had been holding the gun wasn’t in danger of reanimating, not after the damage you had caused. Troy stayed close by you as you unsteadily made your way down the steps and back onto grass covered earth.

Perhaps it was the fresh air that did it, but your stomach clenched painfully and you curled over to empty the meagre contents of your stomach onto the ground.

Again Troy was careful not to touch you other than brushing your hair away from your face as you gasped and retched.

He was saying something, mumbling it over and over as you stood on shaking legs and wiped your mouth on the back of your sleeve.

“Huh?” You croaked.

“If I hadn’t… if i’d just kept away from you…”

You frowned, confused. Had you been right all along and Troy didn’t want anything to do with you?

Why had he followed you, saved you?

“So why not just let them kill me?” You spoke quietly into the dark.

Your chest twisted into something painful as Troy looked at you wide-eyed.

“Why would I do that?”

You hesitated, feeling so so tired of your soulmates conflicting behaviour.

“Well,” you started, “I’ve seen what happens to people who loose their soulmates. I suppose you just wanted to save yourself the pain, right?”

Troy blinked at you, looking at you as if you were insane.

“I didn’t-”

You held up a hand to stop him.

“Spare me. I’m a big girl, ok. I know not all soulmates are… are suitable for each other. You made it clear you didn’t want me. Did you expect me to just hang around with you so close, acting as if this thing in my heart wasn’t calling out for you every second you weren’t nearby!?”

Troy held up both hands as if fending off an attack.

“Whoa whoa. I just saved you-”

“And how did it feel? Before you found me, when he was… when they tried to…”

You couldn’t say the words but you knew they weren’t needed. You remembered the fire in your chest as Derek loomed over you. It hadn’t been fear, or panic. It had been pure fury… fury that hadn’t belonged to you. Troy’s actions had been entirely selfish, to save himself from the pain of a lost soulmate.

“I wanted them to suffer.” Troy said so calmly he might as well have been discussing the mild weather.

“Why?”

Troy ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the curled strands as he closed his eyes and sighed.

“I’ve never felt anything like this…” he began.

You laughed, a hollow sound that made his eyes snap to you.

“And you think I have? Do you have any idea what it’s like to need someone so much and have them turn away from you. I’ve already lost everything…”

Troy seemed to be having some sort of internal battle with himself if the look of pain across his face was anything to go by.

You knew the strength of the Pull, the bond it could form between two well matched soulmates. Your father had adored your mother, doted on her and protected her until the very end. If Troy’s dislike of you were not stronger than the Pull it would surely leave only fierce possession in place of that desire to protect. You refused to be worth little more to him than a toy he refused to share with others. It was why you’d had to leave, no matter how it pained you.

You held your hand out for your backpack as Troy stared at you, a look of resignation on his face.

“I wasn’t talking to you back in the medical tent.” He said.

Again you frowned.

“You said I shouldn’t have come here. Who else could you have been speaking to?”

Troy’s fingers clenched and unclenched at his sides and you could feel your heart pulsing in time with his movements.

“Myself. I was talking to myself.”

You were getting bored of his frustrating inability to explain himself properly. You let out an exasperated sigh and moved to snatch your bag away.

Troy stepped back, out of reach.

“So much for the hero who just saved my life,” You mocked.

“I’m not good at this,” Troy almost shouted, making you wince.

“No shit!” You snapped back, “Now give me my stuff so I can get out of here.”

Troy moved even further away and you gaped in disbelief at his childishness.

“No. I can’t let you go.”

You wanted to cry. What the hell did he want from you. Go? Stay? Troy began to pace from one side of you to the other.

“You don’t understand because you don’t know me… you don’t know the things i’ve done…”

You glanced back over your shoulder to the abandoned house.

“How can it be worse than what I just did,” you said emptily.

Troy shook his head.

“No. That wasn’t evil. That was justice. Beautiful-”

“That was revenge-”

“They were hurting you-”

“I’m still a murderer!”

Troy fell silent, dropping your bag to the ground as he took a slow, purposeful step toward you. You stood up straight, knowing he was no threat to you as your heart almost purred in your chest as he drew close enough that you could see the stars reflected in his eyes.

“So am I.”

One hand came up to press against his chest as you considered pushing him away until it suddenly felt like your body was engulfed in fire. Every nerve ending sung as electricity ran from your skull to the tips of your toes.

You gasped out loud, as did Troy as your eyes remained transfixed.

“I’ve done things to protect what I care about. When I saw that man on top of you, when I felt your fear-”

So you’d been right. The rage you had felt before hadn't been yours. It was Troy’s. You’d felt him just as he’d felt you.

“The things I wanted to do to make him pay...” Troy continued.

You were speechless. What was Troy trying to say exactly?

“But you didn’t,” you managed to whisper, “you offered me the knife.”

Troy nodded once, solemnly.

“As much as I couldn’t stand to see him touch you, hurting you… I knew it wasn’t my place, unless you told me to.”

You could feel your heart racing like a hummingbird trapped in a cage. You could feel Troy’s too, beneath your palm, thundering strong and fast.

“If I’d asked you to do it-”

“I’d have cut him apart slowly. I'd have made the pain last as long as I could have. I’d…”

You waited, holding your breath. Shouldn’t confessions like this terrify you? Troy sounded like a madman, capable of terrible things.

But were they more terrible than the men who would rape a young woman alone and defenceless?

More terrible than a woman who reduced a man’s face to an unrecognisable mess and coldly slit the throat of another?

Troy didn’t need to tell you what else he would have done. You began to think you understood why he had been so distant, so hard to understand. It wasn’t you he hated.

“You’re not a bad person.” You said gently.

Troy’s eyes slid shut, his shoulders dropping as he let out a long breath.

“Please remember that.” He replied just as softly. “Don't ever forget it.”

You smiled then, smiled and reminded Troy of the sunshine he would see in his dreams of you.

“Does this mean…” he began cautiously.

You nodded, forcing your hand away from his chest was like ripping the skin from your hand, but you did it. Your meeting Troy had already been so messy, you wanted to get rested and cleaned up before anything else might happen between the two of you. Whatever that might be.

“Yeah. Let's go home.”

#ftwd #ftwd fanfic #troy otto #fanfic #fanfiction #fear the walking dead #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #soulmates #troy otto x reader #trigger warning #troyxyou #troyxreader #don't say go fic

[ftwdb]

Warning: slight smut. Indirect referral to oral (male receiving).

Troy Otto knows people.

He knows how to watch them, and he knows what to watch them for.

But with you he spots something that fascinates him.

It's the way you always have something in your mouth. Gum, the end of a pen, a lock of your hair or even just your thumb rubbing absentmindedly across your bottom lip.

He smiles. He knows an oral fixation when he sees one. And that gives him all sorts of thoughts.

Thoughts about helping you satisfy that need, the desire to keep your lips busy and your mouth full.

He grins when you catch his eye with a pencil clenched between your teeth as you check off the inventory list. He thinks your confused frown is adorable. He wants to see those eyes look up at him, red and watery...

“Wha’?”

You ask, your tongue struggling to form the word around the pencil you don't bother to take from your mouth. His grin becomes a smirk.

“Nothin’… gum?”

He offers you.

You take it, bemused but grateful. Troy always has gum. It's a weird thing you'd noticed of late.

Troy walks away chuckling to himself as you pop the pencil behind your ear and slip the gum into your mouth. You shake your head and go about your duties.

“That guy is so weird…”

#troy otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd #ftwd fanfic #troy otto x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #short ficlet #smut #troy otto fic #troy otto x you #troy otto smut

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 4.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

Warnings: non-graphic depiction of attempted rape. Violence. Things take a dark turn.

Troy slept in fits and bursts, waking often to toss and turn in his bed until the covers tangled themselves around his legs and he kicked them from the bed entirely. His head, which was always noisy and full of thoughts he couldn’t reign in at the best of times, just wouldn’t let him rest. His mind was full of memories of the girl lying on the ground mixed with his dreams of her standing on a beach, surrounded by sunshine and the smell of the sea. She would always turn to him and smile, her small tanned hand reaching out to him.

Troy had never been able to remember her clearly when he woke. His journal was full of hastily scribbled notes and sketches, but now he had seen her clearly his dreams came back to him stronger then ever.

At one point he gave up trying to sleep and reached over to his bedside table, pulling open the drawer to reveal his leather bound journal. He pushed it aside and instead picked up the red notebook found inside the girls boot.

He’d flicked through the pages so many times, drinking in the words and images scribbled by her hands. It had started with a record of what had happened in San Diego; their evacuation, the refugee camp… then came the bombaredment from the dead followed by the city being destroyed overnight by bombs and flames.

His father was a jackass but he’d been right about some things. Like how a man couldn’t even trust his own government these days.

Then came her sketches. A man and a woman alongside their names, dates of birth, and death. Troy had run his fingers along the pencil lines over and over again. She’d lost her parents only weeks ago, although she had not made note of exactly what killed them - the bombs or the dead, which Troy found odd since he’d been meticulous with her other records. This alone has intrigued him. He too liked to write down every little thought he had, all the things he noticed about people and the world that no one else seemed bothered by.

After that were random notes and sketches of landscapes of the city. She was a decent artist. Troy had found himself admiring her work until he’d turned the page to find his own eyes staring back at him.

He’d grabbed his journal then and flipped the pages to the drawings he’d made himself on sleep-hazy mornings. They’d both been dreaming of the other with neither being able to remember the details of the others face.

He might have asked Jake is this was normal. If he’d experienced the same thing once he’d felt the Pull. Troy had been so convinced he would never leave the ranch to be able to risk meeting his soulmate that he’d barely asked any questions about the phenomena. He supposed it was the one thing that went against his natural curiosity about the world.

His mothers face came to him then, twisted and bitter as she hurled an empty glass at his fathers head. She’d been ranting about how he had stolen her life, her happiness. Jeremiah had yelled at her to go, to try and find whatever poor son-of-a-bitch was destined to be tied to her for the rest of his life, but his mother never did. Instead she drank to forget her misery, eyeing Troy day after day with more and more resentment even when he washed the vomit from her clothes and hair and tried to encourage her to eat.

Troy slid the notebook inside his journal and shut them both back in the drawer with enough force that the bedside table shook. He threw himself back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, ignoring the tugging sensation in his chest which he knew would lead him back to the medical tent if he allowed himself to follow it.

It had been a stupid idea to go and see her in the first place. He’s almost turned around when he’d realised she was awake until he realised what she was doing. He’d been impressed by her methodical inspection of the bed frame, looking for a weak spot to try and escape her restraints. Although she was small and looked as dainty as a daisy, as his mother would say, she was clearly clever.

Troy had put her escape and survival from San Diego down to sheer luck. Now he realised there might be more to her than he first thought.

Maybe that was why he hadn’t been able to stop himself from speaking up. He was, above all else, curious.

Her eyes when she’d turned and fixed him with a look that seemed to pierced into the heart of him had left him breathless, and not just because of the Pull in his chest dragging his feet toward her when she asked for his help.

Why had he done it? Why risk seeing her, getting close to her? He’d found himself unable to stop himself examining her face as she had stared away from him. He wanted to picture her as he’d seen her in his dreams, with sun kissed hair and a glow about her skin, as if she herself was lighting his world with sunshine.

When her eyes finally rose to his it had been too much. Her lips opened as if to speak and Troy realised he couldn’t stand to hear it. He’d already let himself get too close…

Eventually Troy slipped back into sleep only to find himself back in his dream once more; approaching the girl with no name whom some force of fate or destiny had decided was to be his perfect match. Troy took her hand but found the usual sense of warmth and quiet missing. The girl, no longer smiling, turned her face toward the sea and Troy followed her gaze. The usual sparkling blue of the water was a tempestuous cascade of rolling grey waves. Water ran over the sand, covering their feet before pulling back and the girl turned to speak-

“Troy, wake up!”

The voice was certainly not that which belonged to his soulmate. Troy groaned and blinked his eyes open wearily. Jake stood over him with one hand shaking his shoulder.

“Get off.” He grunted. “I’m up, I’m up.”

Troy hoisted himself up onto his elbows as he realised there was someone else in the room. Cooper, his second in command, was looking at him with a weary expression on his face.

Troy was on his feet in an instant.

“What’s happened?”

Were they under attack? Why else would Jake be shaking him awake looking as worried as he did.

“Do something for me, would you Troy?” Jake started, giving him a familiar look that had the younger brother hated. “Just… close your eyes for a second and feel.”

Troy stared at his older brother. He’d always respected Jake, he supposed if ever he had felt love for someone it would be the brother who had always stood by him since they were children. But right now, as Jake kept a solid hand placed on Troy’s bare shoulder, he wondered if his brother had lost his mind.

Blinking slowly Troy slowly pushed Jake’s hand away.

“Brother… you been attending bible study lately?”

Jake let out an exasperated breath through his nose.

“Just- can you feel something different. About the girl you brought here.”

Troy took a step back. He should have known it would be Jake who’d be able to figure out why he’d been so restless recently, unable to stop patrolling their perimeter as something within him demanded he couldn’t rest until the ache in his chest faded.

Keep searching…

For what, he hadn’t been sure. Not until he’d stumbled across her.

Jake had told him very little about his own experience of the Pull. Troy couldn’t blame him, he’d been kind of a dick about it. It hadn’t made sense to him at the time why his brother would choose to sit at the bedside of a dying woman who had nothing to offer him, but since he’d felt the Pull himself, the sense of just… something right and good and whole when his eyes had met with hers…

Her.

Her… who Troy could suddenly feel was no longer on the ranch.

Jake must have seen it on Troy’s face as his worry became a smirk. Troy could see the words forming in his mind but Jake had the decency not to tell him “I knew it” at least.

“What the hell happened?”

“She was seen leaving the ranch at sunrise, heading west.” Cooper told him as Troy started to pull on his militia uniform.

“And no one stopped her?” Troy snapped.

“Didn’t realise she was a prisoner here.” Cooper shrugged. Troy glared.

“You know I made you my second because I thought you were the least stupid out of the rest of them.”

Cooper frowned and shrugged.

“You never said-”

Troy waved a hand to shut him up before he tied his boots and buckled his weapons belt to his waist.

“I’ll come with you.” Jake started but Troy shook his head.

“Stay on the ranch, she won’t have gone far if she’s on foot. I’ll follow after her, no point wasting resources for one girl.”

“So why bother?” Cooper piped up, confused. This wasn’t like Troy at all, chasing after some half-dead girl who had nothing to do with them.

Troy and Jake exchanged a look and Cooper formed a silent “oh” as it dawned on him. He chuckled to himself as Troy pushed by them both and headed toward the stairs.

“Oh he is so fucked.”

Jake shared a reluctant smile but remained silent as he heard his brother slam the door to their home. Cooper knew even more about the things the Pull could compel you to do, having found his soulmate in childhood. She’d been lost when the dead had risen, turning him into the stoic, dry-humoured man he was now. His face was carefully controlled but his eyes were glazed with memories of his own loss.

“Go handle the militia while I speak to my father,” Jake instructed, and although his role within the ranch gave him no superiority over the man before him, Cooper nodded respectfully and did as asked.

Jake sank onto the edge of Troy’s bed, his hands rubbing at his temples, wondering what would be worse… if Troy wasn’t able to find his soulmate again, or if he did.

——————————————————————————

Time seemed to slow down as Derek leered at you. When his hands wrapped themselves around your forearms to push you back on the couch as you tried to bite and kick with all your strength it felt like fire on your skin where he touched you.

“She’s a fighter!” The man with the gun laughed.

Derek ignored him, and you felt your panic explode as his knee pushed itself between your thighs.

You screamed every curse word you could think of. Ran through every painful scenario you wished on both their heads and every insult you’d ever heard.

It only seemed to amuse them more.

“The fighters don’t break so easy, makes the fun last longer.” Derek hissed against your throat before his mouth began to explore the exposed skin of your neck and chest. You grit your teeth and turned your face away.

Not again, you thought. Not again, not again not againnotagainnigagain-

Your chest was on fire. And not from the disgust and panic caused by your attackers. This was something new, something different.

Your eyes opened and you tried to keep your focus on the furthest window of the room, focusing on the beams of moonlight breaking through the gaps as you tried blocking out the sounds of heavy breathing filling the room as a belt buckle clinked…

A shadow moved by the window.

You were seeing things, your imagination offering up alternatives to the reality of what was happening in the room.

Except the shadow then stretched across the wall opposite the doorway as another figure appeared, illuminated by silvery moonlight that almost made them look like a ghost. Your eyes widened as the man holding the gun didn’t even notice, so transfixed as he was by watching your horror, until a hand covered his mouth and a sleek silver blade cut his throat, sending a spray of red across the wooden floor.

You could hardly believe it as Troy eased the jerking man’s body to the ground before he silently stepped over his curled up form. Troy’s face was now lit by the torchlight. In the few seconds it took him to reach you, you saw his features were eerily calm, but his eyes, they were wide, animalistic and full of rage.

Derek was still struggling with your own buckle when the knife came down into his lower spine.

He howled before collapsing forward, his weight pushing the breath from your lungs before Troy gripped him by the hair and pulled him to the floor. He flailed his arms in an attempt to disarm Troy, both his legs seemingly useless as they lay unmoving.

Troy batted away his attempts to disarm him as he stood over your attacker, his eyes travelling from Derek’s unzipped pants to you, laying frozen on the couch.

“You should wait outside,” Troy told you flatly.

You moved without thinking, picking up the discarded gun that had been dropped by the man laying by the door. You only paused when you heard the body make a gurgling sound. Surely he hadn’t turned already?

No. The man had one hand to his throat and the still flowing blood glistened in the moonlight. It was almost a beautiful shade of black, it ran so thick.

You gripped the gun in your hand and checked to see if it was loaded.

You could have laughed when you realised it wasn’t.

The man’s eyes seem to plead with you as his mouth opened and closed soundlessly. You were vaguely aware of Troy’s eyes on you too as Derek still thrashed against the ground until Troy kicked him in the chest, crushing ribs if the noise in the room was anything to go by.

You ignored them both and absently flipped the gun in your hand, holding the barrel tightly, and brought it down hard.

You should have felt something as his nose exploded in a spray of blood and cartalidge. But you didn’t. You brought the heel of the gun down again, feeling his skull fracture with a sickening crack.

By the time you’d exhausted yourself and your arm was no longer able to raise the gun again there wasn’t much of a face left.

You pulled yourself up to stand straight, your eyes glazed as you panted and looked back at the two men in the room. Derek had fallen silent with Troy’s boot on his throat, and Troy was looking at you with shining eyes.

You waited for the horror of what you’d done to set it, but nothing came. Only a quiet sense of calm and a peace within you.

Without saying a word Troy held out the knife to you. You knew exactly what he was offering.

Retribution.

Your hands trembled. The gun fell to the ground, forgotten, as your fingers wrapped themselves around the handle of the blade.

You and Troy shared a long look that seemed to span on for far longer than the few seconds it really was. There was some sort of internal battle going on in Troy’s head, you could see it in the glint of his eyes and the thin line of his mouth.

You looked at the man who had tried to rape you. His face was purple, blood ran from his mouth as he gasped and wheezed.

For a second his face melted away and transformed into another. Another man who had hurt you simply because he could. Because “there are no rules anymore”.

You heard your voice as if from far away, saying those same words as your knife placed itself against his throat. Troy’s other foot had pinned one of his hands to the ground while the other remained on Dereks chest to keep him still. You mimicked Troy’s position as Derek tried to grab the knife from your hand.

You wondered how this looked from the outside. With you both poised over the monster waiting to be slain, Troy himself looked like an avenging Angel as the torchlight left a halo of yellowish glow about him. And you, hands now dirtied with your first murder, ready to commit your second under your soulmates watchful gaze.

You glanced up one more time and Troy seemed to know exactly what you needed. With a nod, he smiled.

“You look so beautiful,”

You pushed the knife slowly into Dereks throat and felt satisfaction as his eyes bulged. The choking sounds he made were awful when you pulled the knife free and watched his blood spill out.

Troy stepped back, releasing his foothold on him as Derek finally grew still and silent.

You wiped the knife clean on Derek’s shirt before handing it back to Troy.

“You came after me? Why?”

You’d thought Troy hated you. Hadn’t wanted anything to do with you.

Troy thought for a moment as he slid the knife back into its sheath on his belt before speaking.

“I came to take you home.”

#ftwd #ftwd fanfic #troy otto #fanfic #fanfiction #fear the walking dead #fear the walking dead fanfic #ftwdfanfic #soulmates #troy otto x reader #soulmate au #soulmate fanfiction #dark romance #trigger warning #unhealthy attachment #unhealthy obsession #unhealthy relationships #don't say go fic

[ftwdb]

Don'y Say Go

Chapter 3.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

It was dark when you woke again. You offerd up a silent thanks on behalf of your sore head that the dim lamplight in the tent made opening your eyes bearable. You looked around for the kind-faced man but found only an elderly looking woman snoring in a chair nearby. Yours was the only bed occupied. The emptiness of the tent made you feel uneasy and something deep in your chest began to ache.

Ignoring it, you carefully pulled yourself up onto your elbows and looked at your surroundings with more observant eyes. The tent you were in almost looked like the tents the military had set up on the outskirts of the city, which you supposed had burned along with everything else.

You figured since you could sit up without feeling like you were going to pass out again you could risk trying to swing your feet over the edge of the bed and try to stand. Your feet moved but something tugged at your wrist. You looked over your shoulder and realised you had been cuffed to the bed.

You swore, annoyance becoming anger which only hid the sickly panic building in your gut. The end of the world had brought out the worst in people. Waking up tied to a bed after being sedated by a stranger, no matter how kind looking, did not bode well.

You tried pulling your wrist, the metal biting into your already delicate and sore skin. You huffed and decided to inspect the bed instead. Perhaps you could dismantle it somehow and slide the cuff free…

“That’s smart.”

A voice suddenly made you jump as you spun as well as you could in your restrained state to face whoever had spoken. The movement made your stomach lurch and your head contunued to spin for a few seconds too long, but you tried not to show it as your eyes met with a pair that were now very familiar.

“You’re him,” you said slowly, your voice stronger but still croaking and scratching your throat.

Troy walked slowly toward you, his military gear replaced by worn jeans, boots and a green unbuttoned shirt over a grey t-shirt. His thumbs where looped through his belt where a gun sat at his hip.

You stared as Troy looked you over, his eyes taking in everything about you as you suddenly grew self-conscious about your filthy state. You realised someone had done their best to clean you up but your clothes were still coated with filth and sweat and you suspected your hair resembled something of a bird’s nest.

You tried to sit up straighter but your wrist pulled you back. You swore again and Troys lips quirked as if supressing a smile. You wondered if your discomfort amused him as he did not move to aid you.

“Little help?” you asked, gesturing toward your arm.

Troy seemed to hesitate, if only for a moment, before his hand dipped into his pocket and pulled out a key. He moved to you, reaching out to hold the metal cuff carefully as if he dare not risk his skin touching your own. You knew you were a mess, and meeting him - your soulmate - in this state was far from ideal, yet you couldn’t help but feel something was wrong.

Had you made a mistake? You’d been close to death, or so you’d been told. Perhaps it had all been a hallucination, a dream within a dream. Except you couldn’t deny that the aching in your chest had eased the closer Troy had gotten to you.

You wondered if he felt it too as he slowly settled himself on the edge of your bed, one hand pressing against the sheets close enough to your reddened wrist that he would barely have to move to reach out and caress the angry welt.

You didn’t dare move. You could hardly find it in you to breath, so afraid that one fraction of movement would be enough to frighten him away. Instead you stared at his hand and pretended you couldn’t feel his eyes examining your face.

His hands were strong, calloused. The skin darkened by the sun and nails showing signs of being bitten down repeatedly. You wanted to reach out. Wanted to touch him. Your heart began to thump in your chest almost painfully as you forced yourself to look up and meet his eyes.

The familiar blackness in them made you take a sharp breath. You’d seen them so many times in your dreams. Did he recognise yours the same way?

You’d been right that it would only take the smallest movement to send him running. Troy leapt from the bed as if he’d been scalded, turning from you with his shoulders hunched. It was almost as if he were in pain.

“Troy-”

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

His words rendered you speechless. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, meeting your soulmate…

“I didn’t - I just followed…”

But Troy was gone, his long legs crossing the tent in effortless strides before he disappeared from view beyond the flap of material that fell back in place with a whisper, waving slightly as if to mock you.

For a moment you wondered to who it was he’d been speaking, but of course other than the still sleeping lady who’s snoring had only grown louder, there was no one else he could have been speaking to.

It couldn’t be possible that after everything, after walking so far and almost dying to find him, after all the dreams you’d woken from in a cold sweat gasping and shaking, that your soulmate seemed to hate you.

Your chest began to ache again and now it was as if the Pull could tell you exactly how far he was from you. Eventually it stopped, remaining stuck between your ribs and vibrating like a wire pulling too tight, on the verge of breaking. You could close your eyes and know exactly what direction to walk to find him again, but you wouldn’t.

You pulled yourself back beneath the sheets, shivering even though the tent was filled with the warmth of the night air. In the back of your mind you began envisioning finding your backpack, filling it with whatever you could find in the tent and disappearing into the dark. You knew in your weakened state you wouldn’t get far, and you also had no idea where it was you actually were.

You would wait until morning, gather your bearings, and be gone by the next sundown.

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