#fuck man even minthara??

[eff-plays]

"Durge and Astarion are canon your honor!"

Well canon Durge is a white male dragonborn sorcerer and yet y'all are making cute little drow girlies and sexy little tiefling twinks to get at that extra content so what's the truth?

Oh that your personal preferences are somehow more canon than someone else's because the devs didn't have enough time to write extra content for every companion, leaving an unfair and imbalanced emphasis on the one character that did get extra content? That you feel your choices are validated because they're reinforced by poor planning/game design? Hmm. Hmm. Hmmmm 🤔

#bg3 #bg3 fandom critical #btw i have every iteration of durge x astarion blacklisted because of these sorts of girlies #'my already popular ship is actually canon because the writers felt the need to prioritize the wants of his obnoxious fanbase #instead of spreading the effort evenly!' is not the win you think it is #personally i'd give up all of durge x astarion content for more just REGULAR wyll content like it's unbelievable #more KARLACH and maybe an ending that isn't so fucking SHIT for her?? #fuck man even minthara?? #astarion girlies get a single critical thinking skill fr fr #also noah fence but 'uwu durge and astarion are narrative foils' is such a braindead take #cuz durge just has the same narrative of breaking free of a higher power that manipulates them as the REST OF THE COMPANIONS #literally none of them are more uwu canon than the others #the only reason you think that is because someone else did the thinking for you and put it in the game and spelled it out for you

[thisgodwontforgiveyou]

literally the only freud ass relationship in the entire game that is actually directly scrutinized and criticized for being that is minthara and orin which is so fucking insane because orin is the younger one

#to be clear minthara is literally right but thats just makes her even less sympathetic #because it creates a genuinely unresolvable conflict with the best character in the game #and shes like the second or third worst character in the game so you literally just hate her more for it #man minthara could have been sooooooooooo awesome if they leaned into her being just a dogshit stupid drow OC thats written wrong #like it literally would have been the perfect counterpart to viconia being taking lore compliant drow gender dynamics to absurdism #but instead her whole thing is just doing undertale to you every time you talk to her like i rly dont care that orin fucked sans

[nejackdaw]

"okay, I'm NOT gonna romance Gale this time. I'm giving someone else a chance"

Me as soon as I pull him out of the rock:

#sorry. hes like the perfect man #idk if i can do it #(<- has been staring at his hands in dialogue which i have full view of now bc short privileges) #(im playing a dwarf i thought the fucked up camera angles would add a sense of novelty) #(they added gale hands. even better) #the goal was to recruit minthara now that she shows up in moonrise and five minutes in im distracted #shady why do you believe so strongly i should be in charge my head is NOT in the game

[elunee]

Astarion

Astarion: Oh good, puns. Because clowns aren't enough of a horror already.

Player: You love the spotlight, don't you, Astarion? Here's your big chance. ['Astarion -1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minsc 2', 'Halsin 1']

Astarion: What? No. Don't you dare. This isn't funny.

Clown: Ooof - my heart! The enthusiasm is… too much! Now, up, up - double sharp! Or poor Buddy will think you don't like him. Right there - perfect!

Player: Go on, Astarion! ['Astarion -1', 'Gale 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 2', 'Halsin 1']

Astarion: Of course, what fun! I'm going to fucking kill you.

Gale

Gale: Hmm. Not to my taste, but I'll take a clown over some hack magician pulling peonies from his breeches.

Player: Gale, you're good at tricks, right? Up you go. ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Gale: Truly? I might as well go mount the gallows.

Player: Go on, Gale! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale -1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Gale: You truly are testing the patience of a man who could level a city if he wished, you know.

Shadowheart

Shadowheart: Gods, I hate clowns. I'm not even sure clowns like clowns.

Player: I think my friend Shadowheart will make a far better assistant.['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 2', 'Shadowheart -1', 'Gale 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Shadowheart: Are you quite sure you have a friend called Shadowheart? Not an enemy?

Player: Go on, Shadowheart! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 2', 'Shadowheart -1', 'Gale 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Shadowheart: I'd advise you find someone to taste your food from now on.

Karlach

Karlach: Oof. No. Sorry Dribbles.

Player: Go on, Karlach, up you go. ['Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 2', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Halsin 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Karlach: Hang on now, soldier, I'm not paying for your sins.

Player: Go on, Karlach! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 2', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Karlach: This had better be violent, sexy, or both.

Lae'zel

Lae'zel: Can we not find a more pleasant amusement? Gouging out our own eyeballs, perhaps?

Player: This is your time to shine, Lae'zel - up you go. ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel -1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 2', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Lae'zel: Tsk'va. You can't be serious.

Clown: Ooof - my heart! The enthusiasm is… too much! Now, up, up - double sharp! Or poor Buddy will think you don't like him. Right there - perfect!

Player: Go on, Lae'zel! ['Lae'zel -1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 2', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Lae'zel: Chk. And here I thought ceremorphosis was the ultimate torment.

Halsin

Halsin: Why is that daubed fellow being forced before a crowd like so? Is he being punished? Ritualised humiliation?

Player: Lend him a hand, Halsin. ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1']

Halsin: The local customs are... veiled to me. Are you sure this is wise?

Player: Go on, Halsin! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Gale 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Halsin: Very well... Oak Father, shield me in the trials to come.

Wyll

Wyll: Between you and me, I love a good clown - and Dribbles is the best.

Player: I think this is a job for the Blade of Frontiers, don't you, Wyll? ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Karlach 2', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Wyll: I'm no so sure...

Player: Go on, Wyll! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 2', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Wyll: Well - if you insist.

Jaheira

Jaheira: Heh. What? Shut up.

Player:��Well, Jaheira? Care to make your debut? ['Lae'zel 1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 2', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Jaheira: You think I haven't mounted a stage before? Though be warned, clown - if you mean to throw knives, I will throw them back.

Player: All hail the High Harper! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Gale 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira -1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Jaheira: You understand the nature of a secret organisation, yes?

Minsc

Minsc: Heh. HEH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Player: Minsc would be honoured. ['Astarion 2', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Minsc: Honoured is Minsc! But be warned, jester - none may juggle my hamster but me.

Player: Go on, Minsc! ['Astarion 2', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Halsin 1']

Minsc: On closer inspection, Boo, this clown does not much look like the jolly sort...

Minthara

Nightwarden Minthara: Just give the word, and I will kill the clown. We would be praised as heroes.

Player: My good friend Minthara is the funniest person I know. ['Lae'zel 1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Minthara -1', 'Halsin 1']

Nightwarden Minthara: Am I indeed? Perhaps I will tell my favourite joke. It is about you, bleeding to death.

Player: Go, Minthara! Tell the one about the man who married a drider! ['Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Nightwarden Minthara: It was a beautiful webbing.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 circus #astarion #wyll ravengard #gale dekarios #shadowheart #karlach #jaheira #halsin #wyll #lae'zel

[hijackalx]

BG3 NON-COMPANIONS/NON-ORIGIN COMPANIONS TURN ONS/KINKS +18

FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS

MALE BG3 COMPANIONS

characters included: halsin, minthara, jaheira, gortash

*dark content warning for gortash*

HALSIN

SIZE DIFFERENCE

OBVIOUSLYYYY lmao. he loves how small u are in comparison to him. i mean everything about him is large— hands, arms, chest, thighs. also, i feel like he likes that he has to help u when u take control because ur smaller or weaker than him. like, when he has to subtly help u pin his wrists by moving them in the direction u want lol

THIGH RIDING

this also plays into the size difference thing. like his thigh is just so big/muscular, and he loves watching u grind on it (or he can bounce his knee to help u get off too). the type to grab u by ur hips and assist u when ur rhythm starts to stutter. he also loves the wet spot that forms in ur underwear if u keep them on 💗

DEEP THROATING/FACESITTING

OK HE LOVES BOTH like i said everything about him is large (😈) so he loves to see u try to swallow him whole. the way u gag and struggle to take him in is soooo hot to him. also all the drool that spills out of ur mouth 🤤🤤 as for facesitting u better sit ur ass tf DOWN !! HE CAN TAKE IT !! lovessss when u grind on his face/mouth, also loves to squeeze ur ass during it

THREESOME

THIS MAN IS GENEROUS !!! LOVES to share !! always wanting to invite people to have sex with y'all. he feels like it's so much more fun and also loves to watch u get fucked/have u watch him get fucked. will want to do spit roasting too.

SWINGING

sooo into exchanging partners with other couples. or just fucking other people in general. of course he won't do this if u don't want to though. but he gets really excited if u do 😹😹 probably gets off while sharing ur experiences with each other

MINTHARA

KNIFE PLAY

likes the way u shake and whimper as she brings her knife close to ur skin. will leave small cuts and want to carve her initials into ur skin. also slightly into bloodplay too ?? i feel like she'd be into smearing ur blood on her hands and making u clean them off with ur tongue OOF

BONDAGE

she would absolutely cast web and use it as bondage restraints LMAO. will have u in some crazyyy positions too. kind of in a shibari way but with webs. the webs are actually pretty gentle though and have some give so she's not like, totally sadistic with it 😌💗

DACRYPHILIA

SHE DOES LIKE TO SEE U CRY THOUGH LMAO like something about how weak/pathetic u look turns her on so bad— as long as SHE'S the one that made u cry. if it's because of somebody or something else it's lowkey a boner killer for her 😹😹😹 will say really horrible, mean things to try to bring u to tears and then get wet af. will not comfort u after either

GAGGING

likes to use a ball gag but will honestly use whatever she has at the moment. a rag or her fingers even. she likes that u can't speak and can only moan/whimper. also into the way u drool. will purposely ask u questions and then punish/degrade u for not being able to answer

BOOT WORSHIP

LOVESSS making u kiss her boots. will want to hold u down with her boot and make u praise her endlessly. or step on ur face. might even be into giving u a little kick in the diaphragm if u want 😹😹😹

JAHEIRA

MIRROR SEX

WILL WANT TO BE FUCKED IN FRONT OF A MIRROR!!!! with her face pressed against it while she's getting backshots or even with one propped up beside the bed so she can watch how good she looks while she rides u. lowkey will put on a show for herself and get off to it 😹😹

LINGERIE

loves lingerie of all kinds. the garter straps on her thighs are her favorite part tbh. probably prefers to wear black or red— like classically sexy colors. also probably likes it if u wear some too, and will want to keep it on for the full duration of the sex. LOVES lace

STRIPPING

^^ ALTHOUGH.... she also really likes to strip for u. like going nice and slow while u try to restrain urself lol. will probably give u a lap dance too and is pretty playful with it sometimes. particularly loves to see how u get progressively more horny the longer she takes, also into seeing u touch urself a little bit during it too

NIPPLE PLAY

sucking on/playing with her nipples is a MUST. HUGEEEE erogenous zone for her. can probably cum from nipple stimulation alone. likes when u make it hurt a little too, like pinching or twisting them

DEGRADATION

kind of into u calling her names.... like whore or slut. tell her she's a dirty whore while u pull her hair and fuck her from behind. will also talk down to u if ur not really doing the best job LMAO like u better fuck her right or ur gonna get it 😹😹 she'll straight up be like "is that the best u can do?" or "this is pathetic."

BONUS:

GORTASH

BREEDING

HE NEEDS HEIRRRSSSS !!! ALWAYS wants to cum inside. an actual babymaking MONSTER like he cums so much its crazy. loves to see u stuffed full of his cum, it really makes him feels accomplished after all of his hard work 💪🏻💯😹

DADDY DOM

he is so into being called daddy. depending on the context he’ll get rock hard but also likes if u call him that outside of sex too. u can basically get anything u want from him if u add a ‘please daddy’ at the end of it— like he just can’t bring himself to say no. he’ll do anything for u to keep calling him that lol

*** DUBCON ***

DEFINITELY into coercing u/figuring out ways to get what he wants. likes when u get overstimulated and start telling him it’s too much or trying to push him away (u do have a safeword). also the fact that he can overpower u if he wants gets him sooo hard

POWER PLAY

LOVESSS having u at his beck and call. the more pliant and submissive u are the better. won’t do this outside of the bedroom unless u want to or if u initiate it since he prefers the idea of only him being able to see u like that. he’s the only one you’ll roll over for, so to speak lol

COLLARING

makes a special collar for u with expensive imported materials and shit lmao. thinks u look absolutely gorgeous in it and will tell u that all the time. loves the way u gasp when he sharply tugs on its leash. will also tug on it while giving u backshots. likes how it chokes u a little bit too, and the bruises it leaves behind when he’s too rough with it

MALE BG3 COMPANIONS

FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS

#my headcanons #halsin #halsin x reader #minthara #minthara x reader #jaheira #jaheira x reader #enver gortash #enver gortash x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 headcanons #bg3

[sorcerous-caress]

Can you do an aftercare breakdown of how all the dommy mommies might treat Reader post-fuck/kink session? This is Mintharaheart anon, I’m baptizing myself.

After care | bg3 women

[ Fluff, smut, nb!reader, blood in Orin's part ]

[Karlach, Minthara, Shadowheart, Laezel, Orin ]

Karlach

You're out of breath, as if you've ran a long tiring marathon. The ache in your bones pleaded for you to lay down on something soft, something warm, something-

"I've got you, soldier, just relax."

Karlach is very warm to the touch, a comforting embrace that washes away all the aftermath of the adrenaline pumping in your veins. Her large fingers slowly caress your body, making you melt against her touch and relax all of your muscles.

It's only when she speaks again, do you realise you were falling asleep. "Awh man, i really wore you out, huh?" Your eyes open up, you don't remember closing them, attempting to meet her flaming eyes but it's being proven a struggle as of now.

"Shh it's alright" she cuddles more against you, her warmth becoming your whole world. And what a comfort inviting world it was. "I've got you" she repeats, "sweet dreams."

Minthara

Something you've noticed about her, is that her breathing always faded in with the background. No matter how many times you laid beside her with your eyes closed, it was hard to pick up on where the night started and where the Minthara ended.

She blended in too perfectly. If it wasn't for her head laying on your chest, then you might have suspected she wasn't breathing at all.

But you could feel it, her heartbeat, the one thing she couldn't silence away.

The way you held her, as if she could slip away from you, as if the wind might carry her off. You held her as if you could put her whole together again with your embrace alone in case she ever breaks.

Minthara rarely spoke during those times, the quiet, tender moments where she let herself be vulnerable. Bared weakness and tore her wall down for just a couple minutes before the harsh world pulled her back in the front lines of duty.

Shadowheart

Laying together on the soft covers, the two of you have been gazing into each other's eyes for a while. Memorising each other's faces and embedding the other's eye colour into your own souls.

Who knew green could look so beautiful, so mesmerising.

She'd normally tease you for this, call you a love struck puppy. But she can't manage to form any clever combacks now, not when your face was so close to her, your lips glistening and neck covered in all the marks she's left on you.

She swallows down, your eyes follow the movement of her throat.

"We should get cleaned up." she makes no point to move, "maybe a bath."

You nod.

Neither of you gets up just yet. She doesn't call you out on it, and you don't mention how it was her own idea.

Just a little bit more, a little time more for the both of you before you have to wake up from this dream.

Laezel

She doesn't see the point in cuddles, she made it clear to you long ago.

You wonder how would the old Laezel feel if she saw the current Laezel now, clinging to you with her head buried where your shoulder meets your neck.

In a way, you've also changed. You've gotten better at handling it, her intense raw emotional in bed. The ache in your body is much easier to manage now, even feels a little refreshing.

Both of you made space for the other, both of you adapted to be able to hold each other even closer now.

Her hair is very soft, brownish strands sliding through your fingers as you play with it. She makes no effort to stop you.

Orin

The smell of rubbing alcohol has stopped being so harsh to your nose long ago, it's more of the norm now. Although that might have been the light-headedness caused by the bloodloss doings.

Disinfect, dry, and then bandage the cuts. It was the usual routine.

Orin did most of the work. You could relay on her expertise to take care of your wounds, it even gave her a chance to admire her own work, she said.

It actually kinda grew on you, seeing her all giddy and giggling away at the sight of red in your veins. It was almost endearing in her own twisted way.

Her long hair swished behind her as she moved around you in excitement steps, tending to every wound that she was personally the cause of.

Being extra careful in getting in bed with you after, making sure not to press against any sore spots, for now, at least.

She always sang your praises afterwards, told you how simply ravishing you looked, truly a masterpiece of art.

You'd always drift off into slumber on her lap before she finished her speech, she never minded.

#♡shart #♡Karlach #♡Orin #♡Minthara #♡laezel #♡fluff #♡dom mommies #♡Mintharaheart anon #shadowheart x reader #karlach x reader #minthara x reader #laezel x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 fluff #nb!reader

[kaermorhenatnight]

Why I believe Zevlor should become a companion in act 2 instead of Halsin:

1. Halsin is a druid and in act 3 we get Jaheira - that way in a good playthrough we get two druids which is kinda pointless in my opinion from the mechanical standpoint

2. Minthara is supposed to be an evil-playthrough companion and Halsin a good-playthrough one (I know that now you can have them both, but that was the original idea) - it would make sense to have a good version paladin and a bad version paladin

3. It would be especially interesting considering Zevlor is an oathbreaker and Minthara is not - I like the twist of the "good" option being the oathbreaker

4. Halsin's story ends in act 2. When you defeat the shadow-curse his arch is over, there isn't much more to him (he just has some thoughts about how the city is not balanced). There isn't much there to explore after he fixed his "mistakes from the past". He's just there and after some time of not much conversation he's just "yeah, you wanna smash?"

5. Zevlor still has a lot to work through after his people got captured and killed and he didn't do anything - there's A LOT of material for development

6. (very subjective) Zevlor's story is much more interesting. Halsin is exactly who he seems to be. Obsessed with nature and balance, the most stereotypical druid you could imagine. You know, the whole "just as nature intended" thing. Zevlor is an idealist who fought for people of Elturel only to be betrayed by them when they won - casting him and other tieflings out. THAT was when he broke his oath, when they were cast out. How exactly? We don't know. It is said that it wasn't even the oath that was broken but his faith itself - there is so much to explore there! But all we get is a short conversation telling him he cannot give up and he's like oh shit, you're right and then he appears for the final battle

7. I think him and Jaheira would really vibe together. The mom and dad of the group - the cynical Harper who has a complicated relationship with that institution and an idealistic oathbreaker paladin who just wanted to protect his people but failed

8. LARIAN PLEASE LET ME FUCK THAT SWEET OLD MAN

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #zevlor #bg3 zevlor #Baldur's gate 3 zevlor #oathbreaker paladin #halsin #bg3 halsin #larian if you didn't want me to fuck zevlor why did you make him so fine

[animentality]

It's tough because I hate the Astarion haters on Reddit, who are just misogynistic and homophobic and dismissive of the character because they hate how gay he acts and also how many women love him.

but I also hate BookTok Astarion fangirls who feel the need to assert how superior Astarion is on every fucking Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Shadowheart, Minthara, Lae'zel, Karlach or pretty much any BG3 video at all. Like we get it. He's white.

And then I'm ambivalent on the Tumblr Astarion fans because there are the people who simply like him and make fun art and fun meta analysis about him, and then there are the people in my inbox currently telling me that Astarion's Ascended ending is morally correct and it's not a bad ending for the character, and if I disagree, then I hate women.

You're correct that I hate women, but it has nothing to do with Astarion.

Also, I once again point out, that your own husbando literally tells you outright in both endings that being Ascended ruins/ruined who he used to be and also your love for one another.

Your man literally says that your love would have been corrupted by becoming his spawn, and you still cling to the idea that your character is living happily ever after.

He's not making you a vampire queen, he's making you a vampire pet. And it's fine to like that ending. I don't care if you LIKE bad, unhappy endings. That is your prerogative. But you are simply incorrect if you say that it's the "happy" ending for the character, when it clearly is not.

No one ever said you had to use your skull for anything other than cold cut storage, I just don't see why it's even necessary to argue your point to me.

Stay in your Astarion echo chamber, and block me. I don't have time or energy to block all of you.

Anyway.

It sucks because I really like Astarion, he's my favorite love interest.

I really enjoy his storyline and his growth as a person and how sweet he is. He's also very funny. All the companions have great voice acting behind them, but Neil really knocked it out of the park, and I honestly think the character would be far less popular if they'd picked any other actor.

But the fandom around him is just...awful.

It's a mixed bag of normal, unnormal in a fun way, and unnormal in a "you need to fucking step off in this Walmart bitch" way.

It's why I'd rather interact with Dark Urge and Gortash fans.

Much smaller subset of the fandom, so I don't have to deal with the generic crazies, and we're all such freaks that we don't feel the need to go around acting like Gortash is a good person.

I also only ever see people saying these two are fucking disgusting and horrible and I'd murder them in real life and honestly, true and based.

No happy endings for those two, and that's fine for me. In fact, it's great.

See, Astarion girlies, this is called...knowing your ship doesn't deserve a happy ending after all they have done, and knowing it wouldn't be a happy ending if they got together, but being able to acknowledge that and not get bent out of shape trying to justify it.

Stop tying your irl morality to your tastes in fiction.

I never said that liking the ascended ending made you a bad person in real life.

I just said that pretending it's good and happy and great and not continuing the cycle of abuse, is factually incorrect.

And it is.

Every single bad ending for all the love interests is literally continuing the cycle of abuse. Why would Astarion's be any different?

But maybe I'm being bold in assuming you even know the other love interests exist or have stories. Maybe you don't even know the general story of baldur's gate 3, because it is, as you say, the vampire dating sim, and it's definitely not about anything other than banging the sexy vampire.

Media literacy weeps.

Anyway.

Not ruining my enjoyment of the game.

Just my general tolerance for the fandom that is not Durge and Gortash obsessed.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #dark urge #enver gortash

[bearhugsandshrugs]

Real talk who do you think are the top three lays in BG3 and why? (Bonus points: who do you is packing the most/best schmeat out of the gents)

lol I feel like I'll get hate for this :D lmk if you agree

Best sex

3. Haarlep

I mean. He’s a professional. He’ll fuck you so good you give up your soul. It’s hard to argue not putting him into the top 3, and the reason why he’s not higher is that I wonder if he’d be as good if he had to actually seduce you without his incubus skills.

The shapeshifting though? The domming nature of an incubus? Yeah my stupid ass is biased af but I’d probably be soulless and dead after meeting him

2. Minthara

I walked into a cave full of dead tiefling children and hated myself, questioning how I could ever have done that, but then I got her sex scene and I considered doing it again.

Minthara is ambitious and confident. She will be the best fucking lay you ever had. Don’t argue with her. She will, because she’s skilled. I’m not putting her at 1 because I do think she can’t fuck you in quite as many ways as no. 1, and with that I don’t mean positions or kinks, I mean the emotional spectrum. If you romance her, you’ll get there. But that’s conditional, so… Runner-up it is.

1. Halsin

That man fucks. And he switches. So whatever flavor of sex you’re into? He’s got it. Want him to tie you up with vines or fuck you shapeshifted? Want him to eat you out or make you come with his broad hands? Want him to gently lie with you under the moon? Want him to let you take him, make him whimper at your feet, service you?

He provides and it’s great. Two centuries of experience and a body like a dream. Yeah he’s taking top spot.

Honorable mentions:

I feel like Gortash will be good, but situational. Does he care? Oh yeah, it’s good. Is he fucking you out of boredom? RIP he hasn’t even washed up

Lae’zel is a strong contender for the top 3 as well, but ultimately I felt a lot of her dominance comes from a place of compensating and that’s ultimately not my vibe. Romanced Lae will be a different story for sure.

Best dick

Girth: Halsin

Length: Astarion

Shape: Raphael/Haarlep

Total package: Wyll, Gortash

I will not elaborate

#enver gortash #halsin #minthara #haarlep #lae'zel #bg3 raphael #astarion #wyll #sorry for pushing this ahead of the queue in terms of ask order #but this was easier to do than drabbles

[watersdeep]

I'm just going to rant, and just can never make an eloquently written post, but man do I fucking hate people. I hate the absolute entitlement of some astarion players/stans. I hate how we can't complain about the blatant favoritism astarion gets compared to everyone else. I want to be excited for patches, for new content, but I can't.

"Everyone's getting new kisses why are you all so upset??"

Because Minthara literally doesn't work? Because Karlach barely has a story? Because Wyll's entire story was reworked and wasn't ready for RELEASE (if his story even had more content still being worked on let's be real)?

Obviously, bugs and crashes need to be resolved. But I don't think we need any QoL updates like kisses or hugs until everyone is fleshed out entirely or just fucking works.

This isn't a diss against all Astarion fans, many of you are wonderful and also are aware of this whole thing. I'm just sick of being told to essentially just shut up.

#rantings and more ranting #bg3 critical #baldurs gate 3 #im so sick of it #the op of the tweet is so condescending in their replies too #fuck off

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

💞 How They Cuddle: BG3 Companions 💞

A/N: It’s that time of year when it gets fucking cold outside. I don’t like it. So have this (Apologies because I’m writing this through severe brain fog & migraine right now.) 

(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)

Astarion: 

Entangled. Touchy. Astarion’s like a cat in that he’ll always end up seeking you out for heat. He sort of wraps his lithe frame around you, that slender body of his locking yours into place. It’s unintentional, and he certainly doesn’t fall asleep that way. But as the night goes on, and the wind grows loud, he searches for the comfort of your senses- your breath, your heartbeat, and of course, the warmth of your skin. 

Gale: 

Serene. Paired. Gale isn’t known for snuggling close unless you’re counting all the nights Tera’s spent curled up asleep on his lap. He tosses and turns quite a bit in the night, and has the worst sleeping habits known to man. By the time he comes to bed, you’re already fast asleep. He’ll clamor in next to you, feeling the tension leave his body as his rests next to yours. Just being close to you, even in sleep, sets something right in his soul. 

Wyll:

Protected. Warm. Wyll isn’t a heavy sleeper and is prone to waking frequently. At first, every little noise you make, every gasp or shift in your position leaves him awake, frozen in silence, vigilantly waiting for you to wake. It takes him some time to calm his body down, and for his mind to adjust to the sporadic tranquility of sleeping next to the one you love. Once he’s accustomed to your little quirks, he finds he gets the best sleep with you close, one arm wrapped around you for protection. 

Karlach: 

Toasty. Enclosed. Karlach runs hot, there’s no doubt about it. So she doesn’t need tons of blankets or fire to stay warm, whereas you usually do. But not anymore. Now, she acts as your blanket. It does take a bit of practice, on how to balance the closeness of your skin, the pillows, and the bedroll … It’s a bit of a puzzle, but once you get locked in right, it’s like sleeping in a heavenly warm cocoon. 

La’zel:

Distant. Safe. La’zel is NOT a cuddler by any means, nor are Githyanki known for being particularly deep sleepers. However, because she loves you, she tolerates your need for proximity during rest. She permits you to curl up into her side as she lays rigidly next to you. Her ears are always listening for a noise in the distance. But she also comes to enjoy listening to your steady breaths as you sleep, lulling her into an atmosphere of security. 

Shadowheart: 

Sweet. Dear. Shadowheart may project an edgy vibe, but she’s a deeply caring person. She craves your affection and will seek it out, especially in sleep. She prefers to be the little spoon but will take turns being the big spoon if you insist. Always asks you to help braid her hair as she drifts off to sleep. The gentle touches and soft rustling remind her of the tender future she dreams of sharing with you. 

Halsin: 

Surrounded. Smooshed. Halsin is big. He’s wide and tall and enjoys using his build to his advantage when it comes to holding you. He loves wrapping his body around you, his arms and legs holding you tight against his chest, providing a soothing compression. Or, if you prefer, use his chest as your pillow. His broad hairy chest tickles your nose as you nuzzle into him. His large hands rest securely on your back and waist ensuring you won’t slide off. 

Minthara: 

Conservative. Guarded. Minthara is used to being on careful watch for her many enemies. The Underdark is not a forgiving place. She is not used to being so vulnerable as to willingly sleep next to someone, but you are the exception. But old habits die hard. She often sits up, next to your sleeping form. She’ll study your features lovingly in the moonlight, as she watches for any creatures who dare disturb your rest. They’ll never lay a hand on you. She’ll ensure no one disturbs your slumber. 

💞💞💞

If you enjoy my work, please Like & especially, Reblog! 

#bg3 imagine #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 imagine #baldurs gate x reader #baldurs gate imagine #bg3 #hc

[ceo-of-sloppy-men]

I want to pick Zevlor off the street like a stray cat, wrap him in a blanket freshly warmed and let him cry in my arms. He deserved better. Both acts he was in all he got was hurt. First he had to get help with Kahga and the goblins so that his people wouldn’t be slaughtered when they were just trying to survive. Then his people actually got slaughtered so close to the finish line, and he’s left burdened with all of that guilt. You can see it on his face when you save him: he didn’t want to be saved. He didn’t want you to pull him out of the mindflayer pod, he wanted to be left there to rot for what he did. The absolute didn’t just tempt him, it broke him into a husk of a man.

Then we’re just jarred when he shows back up with his oaths at the end. It isn’t fair. We get to see so many characters have such cathartic arcs but zevlor is missing. We see Rolan finally getting his wizard tower, Alfira and Lakrissa making their way in the world, our companions healing and growing, but not Zevlor. He was an original character from EA we spent years with him, in new saves, smiling when he’d come on screen, and all we got was two acts of pain and anguish, then a jarring ending.

I realize that time constraints and resources are a big part but this isn’t some act 2 character. This is an original early access character. We see so much for Raphael, Rolan, Dammon, Alfira, Mol - fuck even Aradin appears! Yet nothing for Zevlor, and he’s just as important as the rest of them! He gets villanized in act 2, gets the perfect set up for at the very least an act 3 quest (if not companion) and nothing. Nadda. Zilch.

Where was our Loroaken moment? Where was our Shadowheart moment? Where was our freedom moment where we could help our beloved tiefling realize he is loved? Why must we be hurt in this way? I wish he had gotten this love during early acces and part of me kicks myself for not loudly shouting about him from every roof top until launch, but this still hurts. No one needed to shout for the others. No one had to ask for Dammon or Alfira or Mol. We just got them and that was amazing. You can’t even say it’s because he was in act 2 because all the other tieflings got content there to! Hells, we get TWO new companions and a gaggle of camp npcs in act 2&3 and you’re telling me we get nothing for Zevlor in act 3. Nothing? We couldn’t even set aside a tiny quest for him?

The only thing we did get is if we didn’t find him in act 2 and that is heartbreaking. It’s not even a better option because it’s just his lifeless corpse. It feels like tossing salt in the wound. A big fat mocking laugh. I know I shouldn’t be mad and I’m not saying I hate Larian for this, but my heart aches. The only other option for him is death! You only see him in act 3 if he’s DEAD! They’ve fixed so much stuff and that’s wonderful but no one is talking about how zevlor either disappears or just dies. Karlach is getting a fix, there’s dataminded evidence of Halsin getting more content, we get character customization mid game, people are calling for a Minthara fix, and that’s wonderful they’re listening. I just wish I could be loud enough to be heard as well.

#I’m sorry about the rant I’m just emotional over this #he’s my favourite character #and it pains me to remember this #I’m so happy other characters get more content #but I wish zevlor did to #bg3 #bg3 zevlor #bg3 spoilers

[astarionposting]

Ranaghar & Minthara ♡

good song for them i think

ANYWAYS

THIS IS A TOTALLY UNRELATED RANT TO THIS POST BUT IM SO NERVOUS TO GO TO WORK TOMOROW AND I HAVE TO GET THIS RANT OUT :( i've been trying to get this matter brought forward in court so we can rescind a bench warrant on a client (one of our agents missed the court date like a MONTH ago, and so now we have to deal with this...), but the court won't respond!! I have sent 3 requests this week, I have been calling the court's office like at least 50 times and NO ONE PICKS UP ITS LIKE NO ONE WORKS THERE!! I was on hold for 2 and half hours at one point on wednesday...

The issue is this client has a TRIAL DATE on Monday, so if this doesn't get dealt with by tomorrow, he might get arrested and it will fuck up the trial for my boss.. i'm so scared hes gonna yell at me or fire me for this fuck up :( BUT THE COURT WONT RESPOND AT ALL!! I have no idea what to do... i have been e-mailing them non-stop, calling the crown's office (they just tell me to call the clerk's office, where no one picks up). They won't even acknowledge my e-mails. It is so annoying. Like it has never been this difficult in other jurisdictions. I have sent our agent to court to talk to the crown by zoom but STILL they won't even respond about it. They just say 'it isnt on my list for today'. IM FREAKING OUT, MAN!!! AAAAA I HATE MY JOB >:(

#oc: ranaghar #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 screenshots #bg3 oc #the dark urge #bg3 durge #minthara #minthara x durge #virtual photography #Spotify

[danse--macabre]

The bg3 companions eating pussy: ranked

Astarion: 6.5/10. He's your three and a half stars 'pretty decent' blockbuster movie equivalent of pussy eating. it won't be bad, for sure, he knows what he's doing. In fact, he could, hypothetically, do a great fucking job of it but he's been between people's legs thousands of times and his heart isn't fully in it to 10/10 service top anymore, even if he's fully committed to you. But you know what you should do instead? eat his pussy.

Lae'zel: 8/10. while I actually think Lae'zel generally prefers to power bottom (as in her scene), she would rather take a blade than have it be known she'd be anything LESS that utterly enthusiastic to taste pussy. Would go at it with frenzied aplomb.

Wyll: yes, he's inexperienced, but he's attentive and a fantastic listener, and he wants to make this about YOU. easily 8.5/10

Shadowheart: 9/10. UNDERRATED. This woman is a healer who can wound, a warrior who can heal. She is VERS, she knows how to give and take, she absolutely loves eating pussy.

Karlach: listen what karlach lacks in experience she makes up with RAW PASSION FOR PUSSY. a little clumsy but she's got SO MUCH of the spirit. 9/10.

Gale: 9.5/10. A learned scholar and practitioner of the pussy eating arts! As his scene implies, Gale is a fucking giver and a half and will do literally everything in his wondrous wizardly power to ensure you are FULLY pleasured. Do not doubt this man's experience NOR his passion. He'll treat you like you're divinity itself.

Minthara: 10/10. Not only has that women has spent 200 years perfecting the art of eating drussy with exemplary menzoberrazan technique, she's so utterly, completely devoted to her partner that all other distractions fade. What matters is you, you, you. She would devour you. And it would be exquisite.

#nsft

[razzberrydazz]

Neurodivergence and mental illness headcanons and analysis with the BG3 cast! All of them have trauma there's no way any of them are totally mentally well (NONE of them are mentally fully well, being an adventurer is traumatic in and of itself).

Shadowheart and Astarion both have Borderline Personality Disorder undoubtedly to me, with Shart also having an extra dose of anxiety and depression on top of that. Being kidnapped and raised in a cult and being held hostage by a vampire lord are more than traumatizing enough to cause that.

Astarion definitely has PTSD from his time with Cazador. Shadowheart, Halsin, and Durge (if the player plays as Dark Urge) definitely also have PTSD.

-My analysis for my Durge is for a different post because there is so much going on there, but know that OCD and BPD and PTSD are all strong contenders for their mental idiosyncrasies-

Gale most definitely has depression and likely comorbid Autism and ADHD.

Lae'Zel is very autistic-coded to me with her directness and perceived low empathy and struggle to understand faerunian customs - many alien type characters are autistic-coded by the nature of their 'fish out of water' character arcs. She also has anger issues galore, and trust issues, she was raised in a militaristic alien cult society there's no way she wouldn't have fucked up emotional development. She's direct and quick to anger, but I don't think she's outright Rude - others may Think she's being rude but she's not, she's being honest and saying what she thinks.

Karlach is Sooooo ADHD coded to me, she also has hella anger issues and I do not blame her one bit, as well as a moderate dose of anxiety. Someone give her a fireproof fidget toy I beg of thee.

Wyll hides his trauma and issues relatively well, but I would not say he's as well-adjusted as many assume him to be. He's self-sacrificing to the point of extreme detriment, possibly a people pleaser, I am certain he has anxiety and depression that he does his best to mask, and he may not have full blown PTSD but he definitely has trauma. I get the impression he has a low opinion of himself due to his pact and often can even be self-depreciating especially when made to look like a devil, definitely has signs of depression in him. He is such a precious man and I want to help him see that he's worth so much more than he thinks 🥺

Minthara, while I don't know her character as well as the others, definitely has trauma from being raised in the toxic cult of lolth-sworn drow society, greatly reduced empathy (but not non-existent) due to said cult society, is definitely a sadist, could have developed Antisocial Personality Disorder due to the way lolthite society molded her (Lolthite society raises people in a way to predispose them to having APD if you ask me, since it's built on manipulation and fear and ladder climbing on the backs of others). Despite possibly having APD due to the trauma of Lolthite society, Minthara is not incapable of love and devotion and can grow to care for tav and other party members over time, perhaps even to a fanatical level if you romance her.

Halsin has trauma that he often brushes off or downplays, he can be quite self-depreciating at times, and from my viewpoint he is hypersexual as a maladaptive coping mechanism. Definitely has self-image issues and doesn't see himself as worthy of the love and affection and positions of authority he's been placed in. Probably has depression that he works hard to mask in front of others.

Jaheira has a long history of trauma that include the events of the first two games, I would not be surprised if she has PTSD, but overall she is pretty well adjusted all things considered. She has trust issues but I don't blame her, she has justification.

Minsc is hilarious, that man has autism I am convinced, he has trauma but I'm not sure if he realizes his trauma is indeed trauma and not simply a mild inconvenience in his life. Either none of his trauma is processed as such in his brain so he is genuinely that happy-go-lucky, or that jovial attitude is a mask. Boo is...Boo. I do not know the inner machinations of a miniature giant space hamster.

If anyone in the game is a Narcissist, it's Orin the Red (NPD does not make one inherently abusive or evil of course, no personality disorder or mental illness makes anyone inherently bad, Orin just happens to embody many of its traits to the extreme and has the traumatic upbringing to cause it). Her story is so tragic to me, she wants so badly for Bhaal to love her, she wants the admiration and affection of the god of murder so bad and she doesn't care if that means killing the entire world. She's incredibly tragic, she doesn't realize she's as traumatized as she is because it got channeled into her mask of self-importance and lack of empathy extreme sadism and want for admiration from Bhaal specifically. If it was possible to if not redeem her, at least spare her from death and break her out of her cult mindset, I would do it in a heartbeat. I love Orin as a character so much.

Gortash could be APD, but I think he fits Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder more. His want for control, for order, under the tyranny of Bane, to wrench control and revenge for the childhood he was robbed of, it's very fitting. He's distrustful and known for deceit but his ride or dieness with Durge and willingness to Risk It All for Tav is endearing to me, and could be him manipulating or simply be that he does in fact see teaming up with Tav as the best course of action for him to maintain his control. I'm biased I know, I like Gortash too much.

Ketheric is spiteful and traumatized from the death of his wife and daughter and the cult he imbedded himself in yes, but he takes it to an extreme in his lashing out from his grief. I don't think he's antisocial or narcissistic, I mainly think he's depressed and a victim of a sunk-cost fallacy taken way too far. He committed to the bit until the very end.

If anyone else could possibly have APD or NPD, I think it'd be the Emperor, but I also feel the mental quirks of being a mindflayer predispose someone to being manipulative and self-agrandizing. He is a Very sly and effective manipulator, and even though overall he has the common goal as the player and protects them from death and transforming into a mind flayer for the majority of the game, he is ultimately doing it for his own aims. He hid the truth of Orpheus and his own form for most of the game, because he was so distrustful of Tav that he believed they would never trust him otherwise - which he can't actually know as true or not. Unfortunately for him I chose saving Orpheus and helping Lae'Zel over helping him because his history of manipulation and omition of information caught up to him and caused the very distrust he wanted to avoid. He is a great morally grey/dubious character who can be both loved and loathed for his antics.

Dame Aylin and Isobel definitely have trauma if not PTSD, and Aylin probably is autistic.

Listen what I'm saying is autistic people have a surprisingly high level of charisma and they and other neurospicy people congregate together to make some delicious neurospicy food.

Those are all the characters I have thoughts about for the moment, and these are my headcanons more than anything, so don't take this too seriously.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #razzberry rambles #razz rambles #character analysis #mental illness #headcanons #razz headcanons #listen it is way too easy for me to read every damn party member as having bpd they're all traumatized it's par for the course #neurospicy

[yellowstonewolves]

Why I’m taking every Bg3 companion to get spayed right now immediately

Tav: I’m not arguing with a Tav. Whatever you say, beautiful. I just put you in here to ask what mod u used to get that pretty hair?!!

Durge: knows what they did. More or less.

Lae’zel: says pretty clearly she doesn’t want kids which saves me the time of listing out the other ten thousand reasons she shouldn’t have them.

Shadowheart: She should be in the Club!!!

Wyll: Now Wyll is interesting. He has many positive fatherly qualities but he’s been burdened by responsibility his whole life he doesn’t need more. Also he seems pretty into the whole wandering hero thing rn. Also also if his kid got so much as a nasty cough you know he’d instantly be making another devil pact about it. His dad is one thing this is his fucking baby.

Karlach: Approved of you licking the spider. Generally adhd in a way that’s probably not conducive to being a great parent but god she’d be an amazing fun aunt. (Also bc of her ending but shut up it’s fine she’s fine everything is good and happy for her all the time.)

Astarion: Listen. Listen to me. Yes he broke the cycle of abuse (unless he didn't) yes we’re all proud of him (unless we aren't). But he absolutely should not reproduce. Shouldn’t even babysit. He would be a good uncle though-the kind that shows a kid a bunch of fun card tricks and tells stories about their parent’s wild days but will say something psychologically devastating the moment the kid gets too bratty. He is the life lesson relative.

Gale: I don’t want to deal with Gale’s spoiled brat children. The man would be such a fucking pushover like goddd. “You were supposed to ground them, how did you end up going out for ice cream instead?” “I don’t know :(” I think he also says he’s not ready for kids in game but it’s pretty clear that he would True Polymorph himself a uterus the moment Tav asked nicely so that’s not great evidence. Or maybe in a way it is.

Halsin: Commitment issues obviously. If Tav knocked up he would offer to stand by them because he’s aware it’s the right thing to do and “I’m 350 years old, 18 years isn’t so long in the scheme of things” then six months later he leaves to go “commune with nature” and that’s the last you see of him for like twelve years. He’ll probably claim he got kidnapped by goblins again. Sure he did. Suuuure he did.

Minthara: is Minthara.

#baldur's gate 3 #halsin #astarion #gale of waterdeep #karlach #baldurs gate spoilers