#handle British weather an anything under or too much over = me absolutely not feeling well plus hay-fever up the wazoo.

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Caring is the Greatest Advantage (Mycroft Holmes x Reader) Part 4

A/N- Hoping this one has come out a bit happier than the last instalment! I’m trying my best to not write Mycroft too out of character and focusing on how much more emotion he had displayed in season 4.. I have a few more chapters planned out so far and I am hoping to, at the very least, update weekly! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and, please, don’t forget to leave a comment letting me know what you think! Kind words or constructive criticism are always welcomed and inspire me to write more! Thank you!

Word Count: 4416

"Did you fancy doing anything else today? Well, this evening I suppose suits better." You asked Mycroft, clearing up the plates from dinner. Dinner here being a term used loosely- after the emotional turmoil only a few hours ago at the revelation of both yesterday's events and your inner attractions, neither of you particularly felt like cooking, or eating for that matter, and settled on a sandwich just to provide some energy.

The energy of the room had felt different now, now that everything was in the open, now that the pair of you had finally broken that barrier to move further in your relationship. It was nice, calming. The pair of you weren't children, the confirmation of shared attraction didn't mean you immediately jumped each other, or feel the need to be constantly touching in some aspect or another- but the mere idea of knowing that the attraction between you was mutual, and that you wanted to act upon that was more than enough for now. It felt incredible.

"Mmm, what did you have in mind?" He hummed back, standing from the small table in the kitchen to help you with the washing up- not that you weren't fully capable of doing so yourself, it just felt nice acting a little domestic- electing to wash the dishes himself and leaving you to dry them and put them back in the cupboard. You shrugged, closing the cupboard's door and leaning against the counter.

"St James' is just round the corner isn't it? We could go for a walk? The weather is oddly nice for September." You suggested, grinning as you watched Mycroft look down at his current attire of jogging bottoms and a band t-shirt. You didn't need the power of a Holmes to know what that face meant. "Compromise. You don't have to wear the joggers in public, but you also cannot wear a suit, I swore against it."

"If you're suggesting for me to leave my home in my undergarments you've completely lost your mind." You looked at Mycroft and allowed his brain to think a little more. "Oh bugger you can't mean-"

"You and I both know you have a pair of jeans in your wardrobe Myc. Joggers or Jeans, the choice is yours." Mycroft opened and closed his mouth multiple times before rolling his eyes and muttering something under his breath that sounded Latin. "Oi at least have the decency to do it in French so I have a chance of understanding what you say when you swear at me." You quipped, jokingly throwing two fingers up at him as he gave in and sulked up the stairs.

"Tu seras la mort de moi." His voice was still quiet, but loud enough for you to understand him.

"Et pourtant tu serais perdu sans moi." You shouted back, teasing a little. Mycroft didn't answer but smiled to himself as he walked into his bedroom, agreeing with you completely but too high in his pride to admit it. Downstairs, you rummaged through the other bags from Anthea, feeling thankful as you saw that she had equally bought you some hoodies too, pulling on a maroon one before grabbing and sliding on your boots. A few minutes later you heard Mycroft's voice from upstairs, muffled completely excluding the 'goodbye' that sounded as he left the bedroom and made his way down the stairs. "Planning my arrest were you? Should I be expected to enter the park to MI6 agents dragging me into a car and shipping me off somewhere for forcing the British government into denim?" You turned around and saw him in his change of attire, whistling approvingly at the sight of him in the dark grey pair of jeans you had bought him a few years ago- 'because you cannot walk into a pub wearing anything purchased on Savile Row, Mycroft'- and the navy blue blazer he had chosen to match with them; the small evidence of The Who's logo peeking out slightly between the lapels. It was seldom Mycroft wore such casual clothing, but feeling welcomed by your reaction certainly made him more comfortable. Maybe at some point you'd tell him it's because those jeans make his bum look incredible. Mycroft's cheeks flushed and he shook his head, ignoring the noise of encouragement you had made.

"MI5, actually, but do not be too alarmed- I've insisted they only use force if absolutely necessary." He teased, hoisting his scarf from the coat rack by the front door and expertly wrapping it around his neck. You jabbed him lightly in the arm, knowing he was joking but equally wanting to make sure the phone call wasn't from Sherlock already pestering him about something or another. "It's fine, truly. Nothing to cause government upset.. only public." You went to question what he meant but was instead caught off guard by him eyeing you up. "Are you really going out.. in that?" Mycroft gestured to your clothing and for a brief moment you felt a little insecure, frowning slightly at him. He caught on immediately and apologised. "No- I mean.. You will likely get cold, will you not? A hooded sweatshirt isn't the warmest item of clothing I can offer you." You grinned at his concern and just passed him his beloved umbrella (it wasn't raining, but that didn't make a difference) before opening the front door.

"Myc I have pulled bodies out of the River Thames wearing nothing more than a pencil skirt and a blouse, I will be fine." You grabbed his hand and tugged him outside, shutting the door behind him. He wanted to argue back but he knew any attempt would be futile- you both knew that you could be more stubborn than Mycroft and so he didn't wish to cause harm on what could be a splendid evening. You took your normal position beside Mycroft, your hand resting in the crook of his elbow, while his rested in his pocket, the other holding onto his umbrella handle. The chill of London's air brushed the back of your neck, leading you to pull the hood of your jumper over your head before continuing your walk, not allowing Mycroft to have the pleasure of knowing he was right. but also not missing the smirk that tugged at his lips as he noticed- of course he bloody did.

The short walk to the park was in a comfortable silence. Mycroft found himself thinking over today's events, how even he couldn't have predicted that this would be how it would end. He was certain you would have left earlier, he'd even prepared himself for the chances of a punch to his nose in anger, and so never in his right mind did he expect you to stay, let alone embrace him while he cried, forgive him for the unforgivable, to... kiss him. He felt childish thinking back on it, but he kept replaying that moment over in his mind. It wasn't a proper kiss, it was barely there at all, and yet, if Mycroft thought hard enough he could still feel the light pressure of your lips on his, and it left him eager for more.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Your voice distracted him as you walked down the final street before the park. He blinked, looking down at you, at your joint arms and offering a smile.

"Just that I didn't expect today to happen the way that events turned out." You opened your mouth to make a comment about how Mycroft knew everything but he cut you off. "I deduce, I cannot predict the future, Y/N."

"But you can mind read?" He raised his other hand, one finger to his mouth in a 'shhh' motion and you grinned.

"Penny for yours?" You hummed in response as you looked at yourself in the reflection of a car window and pouted, rounding the corner to walk through the park's gates.

"I look like an egg." Mycroft let out a rare laugh, caught off guard by your answer. "That you do, my dear. But a rather beautiful egg." It was your turn to flush now. Getting any form of compliment from Mycroft Holmes was a rarity, and when they did come to surface they were usually on one's intellectual skills, or the times where you'd go out to a fancy restaurant and he would claim 'your dress' was beautiful, but never you directly. Your lack of response made Mycroft nervous and he spoke again. "Apologies, upon reflection that was a very backhanded compliment." You squeezed his arm and nudged yourself in closer, welcoming in the warmth his body was emitting.

"No no, I am incredibly flattered to be deemed a beautiful egg." You laughed. "It would make a lovely epitaph don't you thi-." He tensed. "Yeah, sorry, bit soon." You continued your walk for a little further before something clicked in your mind and you stopped in your tracks. Mycroft stumbled a little at the sudden cease in movement and shot you a confused glare. "Myc.. There's nobody else here."

"Excellent observation, Y/N. I now understand why you're so well respected down the Yard."

"Git. I meant.. we're in one of the most tourist centred parts of London, in the early evening, and there's nobody here." Mycroft raised his nose a little in the air, a movement witnessed by anybody else that would be mistaken for smugness, or being pretentious. But on Mycroft you knew it meant he felt a little embarrassed, raising his head ever so higher so you couldn't see the dusting of red on his cheeks. "The phone call... Mycroft bloody Holmes did you abuse your power as a government official to rent out the entirety of St James' park so that nobody would have to see you in your jeans?" He avoided your gaze and you began to laugh, removing your hand from his arm as you wiped a tear that spilled down your cheek out of amusement before tugging him over to a bench that was a few feet away.

"Should I not have?" His tone was light, relaxed knowing that you weren't mad with him and that you found the situation entertaining.

"It's not that.. It's just that nobody else WOULD." You rubbed your numbing fingers together and tucked them inside the sleeve of your hoodie. "You. Are an extraordinary man, Mr Holmes. You never cease to amaze me." He smiled softly, tentatively reaching over to take your half sleeve covered hand into his own pale one.

"And you, are freezing." He commented. You dismissed his assessment and instead focused on the view in front of you, the slight appearance of the London Eye poking above some trees from across the Thames.

"After living here for so long, sometimes I forget how beautiful London truly is." You spoke, shuffling the rest of your hand from your sleeve to lace your fingers between his. He hummed in agreement as he watched on. "And you stole this view from thousands of visitors this evening for the sake of your own dignity and so we could be alone. What do you have? People guarding every entrance? A few loitering around somewhere to make sure there were no stragglers? Christ are they armed? It just so.. so.." Mycroft felt himself become uncomfortable.

"I can be a very selfish person Y/N, you know that."

"I was going to say sexy but now I feel as though I'm not being as sympathetic to the tourists as you were expecting me to be." Mycroft tensed again and you leant to rest your head on his shoulder. "You should probably try to get used to that. I've been waiting a fairly long time to actively be allowed to say things like that to you and it not sound really weird, so I'm making up for lost time."

"How long?" His voice was quiet, likely his mind recovering from you, for the second time that day, calling him such a thing. It wasn't that he didn't like it, he was extremely flattered, but he just found it very hard to believe that you truly thought that way about him; that anyone could. You thought for a moment, childishly using your fingers to count.

"How long since I realised I had a thing for you? As of today it's been 5 years, 3 months and 17 days.. or, in less creepy terms to not make it seem like I've been counting, 2 weeks before I broke up with Thomas. It didn't feel fair to keep dragging him along, especially when I started to look forward to meeting you for dinner much more than I did meeting him for our weekly date night. He's a lovely guy and deserved more than that. I tried for those couple of weeks to get over it but I couldn't." Mycroft stayed silent but you could practically hear his brain whirring. "How long did I wish that you somehow felt the same way about me? Probably 5 minutes after the last thought." You laughed, feeling ridiculous for sounding like a school girl with a crush. "What about you? Pining after me for long or just spontaneously after I kissed you?" You joked, trying to make the whole ordeal feel a little less embarrassing. Mycroft shifted in his seat, laying his focus in the warmth that he could feel spreading to your hand that he held in his. He wasn't the type for large exclamations of emotion, or really speaking about the way he feels at all. But, upon hearing your revelation, he bit the bullet and spoke.

"I have never been the kind of man to experience typical human emotion. Until yourself and Gregory came along, I hadn't even the experience of having acquaintances, let alone.. friends." His eyes stayed forward, watching as the London Eye rotated slowly and focusing on its movements. "Approximately 6 months prior to the time you have mentioned, I began to realise that the way I felt towards you was far different to the way I felt about Gregory, and not the same way I feel towards Sherlock. I pressed the thought into the back of my mind for the better part of a year, before Sherlock told me that you were 'obviously' experiencing some kind of affection towards me, which I told him was preposterous, but from then the thought of you in that aspect felt welcoming. I had never expected in my life to have those kinds of emotions for anybody, let alone have them reciprocated, but I still chose to ignore them. I chose to keep you as my friend rather than risk losing you at all.. Then Eurus happened. Seeing you on that.. screen. Knowing what they could do.. Knowing I could lose you anyway.. it flicked something inside of my brain that made me regret not talking to you about it sooner. I was trying to work out the right way to bring it up, but then you did it for me." The side of his mouth flicked up into a small smile and disappeared, the embarrassment of talking so much on emotion taking over.

"You still look cute when you're embarrassed." You commented, not wanting to elaborate on his wordings more. It meant everything to you that he had even said that much, so you weren't going to push him further out of his comfort zone by pestering on. "Though as much as I'd love to look at your little flustered cheeks in this moonlight, I have to admit that you were right and I am bloody freezing, can we go back?" You took your hand back from his briefly to rub against your other one, a feeble attempt to bring warmth back into your fingertips. Though warmth soon enveloped round your neck as you felt Mycroft begin to wrap his cashmere scarf around you, folding and wrapping it expertly until you felt comfortably warm, taking a moment to breathe in the scent of his cologne that loitered in the fabric.

"I'm always right." He grinned smugly, standing from the bench and offering his elbow out to you once more. You nudged it away, missing the disappointed look on Mycroft's face, before instead grabbing his hand, lacing your fingers between his and tucking them into his pocket for warmth, your other arm folding over your body to hold his arm.

"I'll prove you wrong on that at some point, mark my words." You beamed, starting the walk back to Queen Anne's Gate and relishing in the warmth of the taller man beside you. Mycroft couldn't hide the small smile that appeared on his face from your action, choosing himself to push closer and close the gap between you even more. He swiftly pulled his phone from his pocket, leaving his umbrella dangling from his wrist, as he made a quick call to Anthea.

"I suppose we better let the tourists have their park back.. at least for now." He spoke, more to you than to Anthea but nonetheless she relayed the message to security who began to pack up and reopen the gates to the public. It had barely been a minute before they had all left, all except the PA in question who watched on fondly upon seeing the pair of you leaving, fighting the urge to text the man that it was about damn time.

***

The walk back was incredibly quick and you soon found yourselves walking back through the front door, discarding layers of warmer clothing, Mycroft opting to put the sweats back on in place of his jeans.

"I'm thinking we have a cuppa and then head to bed? I'm knackered." You proposed, flicking the kettle on and settling back to rest on the edge of the kitchen counter. Mycroft hummed in agreement, reaching to grab the necessities. You quickly kicked off from the counter and wandered back into the front room, pulling Mycroft in tow. "Seems as good a time as any to have some music on, Greg made me this mixtape a few weeks ago. He said it's some classics I already love, and a bunch that I'm going to, so it sounds pretty promising." From behind you Mycroft opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "If you're about to chastise me for calling a CD a mixtape, don't waste your breath. Mix-CD just sounds horrendous." He stayed silent, inwardly amused at the fact you hadn't even seen his face and yet knew exactly what he was going to say, and you called him the 'mind-reader'. The Kinks began to play quietly through the speakers, 'Have a Cuppa Tea' fittingly being the first song to play on shuffle. Usually you despised any type of mixtape, or 'best of' albums, claiming rather strongly that they defeated the point of artists bringing out the original albums, ruining the story behind each one. But when it came to Greg you trusted him completely with music taste and had never been disappointed thus far. The click of the kettle in the kitchen sounded, making you walk into the other room and prepare your drinks- you hadn't bothered asking Mycroft the way he had it, you had that burnt to memory years ago. Perching back onto the sofa besides Mycroft, you handed him the beverage and sighed in content.

"You missed the Sex Pistols. Forgive me if I cannot hear you for the next 20 minutes, I have a feeling that my ears have bled." He teased, taking a sip of his tea and settling it on the table beside him. Before you had a chance to answer, another Kinks song began to sound in the room, the slower rythm of Waterloo Sunset.

"You're going to pay for saying those things, you know I love the Sex Pistols." You pouted, moving your own tea to the coffee table. "I think, Mr Holmes, you need to dance with me in ways of apology." You grinned, standing up and holding your hand out to him. "It's a rare slower song from Lestrade's musical repertoire so I'm not expecting you to start headbanging or anything.."

"Do people slow dance to Rock music normally?" He asked, smiling.

"No they don't.. but when have you ever been a man who follows the rules of normality?" He took your hand at that, standing himself up and leading you to an emptier part of the room, tea forgotten. You softly placed your hands on his shoulders and rested your head on his chest, his reaching round to settle on the small of your back as you began to sway together slowly, the only sound that could be heard was the music and Mycroft's erratic heartbeat that he was sure meant he was going to have a heart attack. "See, this is nice." He hummed in agreement, the vibrations of his deep voice reaching his chest and vibrating against your cheek. "We could have done this years ago.." You commented, thinking on all the lost time you had with Mycroft, all of the years you had listened to music together and could have danced, holding each other as close as you were now.

"We'd have struggled being as Gregory only gave you this CD a few weeks ago.." You laughed and swatted his shoulder.

"You know what I mean.. oh the power of cowardice and fear." You closed your eyes, holding onto this moment as though you had never wanted it to end. Alas, the song began to come to a close, and yet neither of you made an attempt to move. The instrumental introduction to your favourite Clash song began to play and you grinned. "Now this is a song. I'm surprised Greg put it on here, I'd have thought he'd be sick of it by now with the amount of times I play it at work." As the vocals began you felt Mycroft stiffen in your arms, the fingers on the hands on your back began to dig into your skin slightly, not painful, but protective and his heartbeat picked up pace even more.

"Could we skip this one? Please?" His tone of voice was different this time, not the calm, relaxed voice that he had earlier, nor the playful one he had only moments ago. He sounded.. unsettled.

"You're joking right? Mycroft this relationship will have a rocky start if you force me to turn of The Clash at all, let alone bloody 'Death or Glory.'" He tensed again hearing the song's title.

"Please.. it's the one.." Your brain began to piece together his words and you lifted your head from its position on his chest, looking up and seeing the pained expression on his face. Of course, out of every song in the world, this was the one you were listening to when Mycroft said he saw you on the screen, inches away from death. You closed your eyes and sighed.

"I'm not letting this happen. I'm okay, I'm here, alive. This is my happy song, and I have so many wonderful memories from it." It wasn't a lie. The sound held memories of countless car rides with Greg, it was the song that played when you had the phone call about your promotion at work. It had even been playing when your sister phoned up to let you know that she was pregnant with your niece. Both times. It was a bloody good song. "I understand why you don't like it, but you just need to associate it with something better, give it a new memory." You moved your arms from his shoulders to wrap around his neck, shifting one hand to place onto his cheek as you reached yourself up on your tiptoes to become closer to his height.

You caught his focus, making his eyes land on your own rather than being dazed as his mind went back to you dancing on that screen. You leaned yourself in closer, just enough for your lips to ghost over his own, before closing the gap. Unlike the last peck you had given him, this was a far more passionate kiss, giving him the emotion you had kept pent up for the last five years. His grip on your back softened, one hand reaching to your upper back to push you closer to him, his lips moving against yours beautifully. His body began to relax, the tension in his shoulders disappeared as he leant himself forward, easing you back flat on your feet. Had you have not known any better, you would have never guessed that Mycroft had never kissed somebody before; he was just a bloody quick learner. You ran your tongue along his bottom lip softly, grinning as he let out a quiet moan. The need for air soon took over and you allowed yourself to separate, not moving any further than leaving your foreheads touching. "There. Now when we hear it, that's what you need to think of instead. Christ knows I will be." You laughed, your hands guiding themselves from his neck slowly down his chest and pushing him back slightly. "I'm going to go shower, so meet me upstairs? I know I promised more Hardy but I would really like to go to sleep if it's all the same to you." Mycroft only nodded, feeling you peck his lips once more before disappearing out of the room. The song had finished by now, having been replaced by who Mycroft believed were The Rolling Stones, but he wasn't really listening.

He stood still in his spot, mind replaying over the moment as he smiled fondly to himself. He could hear the shower running upstairs along with your voice, muffled but clear enough to understand that you were still singing along to the last song. Placing his fingers against his lips, Mycroft tried to imitate the pressure you had placed on them moments ago, thinking about how your lips felt against his, properly this time, not just the two second thing on the sofa this morning. His chest felt warm, stomach flipping and in a rare moment Mycroft felt genuinely happy. In all his life up to this moment, caring had never been an advantage, had always led to him getting hurt. But maybe, just maybe, you were right about how you were going to prove him wrong one day. And he hoped to whatever sentient being that may or not be watching over him that you were going to prove him wrong about that.

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[imagine-that-one-thing]

Her Majesty. || 7

If You’re A Bird, I’m a Bird.

♔♔♔

I’ve been in and out of sleep for a few hours, my mind is unable to cease thinking about what my mother has said, and I’m still under the weather. I thought I was doing fine but this summer cold is proving to be a pain in my ass. 

I feel Anna’s body move between the sheets and I feel her begin to move with more energy. 

“Anna?” My voice is hoarse while I cock my head to the side to gaze at her. 

She’s still asleep. 

I watch her settle in her sleep and I adjust the sheet over her shoulders before I get comfortable and fall back to dozing in and out of sleep. 

It’s an unexpected gasp, and shift in the bed that alerts me immediately. I open my eyes and notice Anna breathing heavily with her hand gripping the covers. “Hey,” I softly whisper, moving closer as she sits up. “Bad dream?” I question the only logical explanation for her sudden lack of breath and sudden jolts. 

Anastasia nods her head. I caress my hand to her back and rub soothing circles. I’m not quite sure what to do. I’ve never been with her when she has had any sort of bad dream. Whenever I have a bad dream, I usually roll back over and go to sleep, but I can see that she’s quite startled by her dream. “Harry…” Anna begins with a heavy breath, “Where’s Henry?” 

“I don’t know… Would you like me to get you some water?” 

“No… I want you to find Henry.” 

”I can’t, I’m a bodyguard, not a detective. Matthew is handling it. Has he gotten you all worked up again? He won’t find you. He’s harmless.” 

Anastasia shakes her head, “I don’t know about that.” Anastasia grimaces while she sits up a little further and takes in a deep breath. 

I lean over and turn my lamp on, the dim glow illuminating the room immediately and causing Anastasia to groan. “Here we go,” Anna mutters unhappily. I know this isn’t going to end pleasantly. She hates when I do this, but I can’t help it… I can’t act like I don’t care. 

“You’re in pain.” 

“And you’re under the weather. We are both avoiding the obvious.” 

“Christ sake,” I shake my head, tired and irritated with her. 

I know she hates when people fret over her, but it’s my job to do so, literally. Her life is in my hands at the moment, whether she likes it or not, I can’t just turn a blind eye. And as her boyfriend, I can’t go back to sleep knowing that she’s worried over a piece of shit Prince and hurting because she fell off a horse and doesn’t want to have doctors up her ass. “It’s either you tell me or I have to call your doctor. You parents were strict on this rule, and right now, I don’t want to piss the King off. He’s already pissed, and I don’t want to make it worse.” 

“Why is he pissed with you?” Anastasia questions, somewhat shifting the subject. 

The king is pissed off with everybody, he is taking his frustration out on all the staff, right now, he’s having his best go at the security team. Right now, Matthew and I are on the firing line. The king wants Henry’s location, but I’m here; I can’t do much. Matthew can only do so much in a few hours while also being in charge of other security staff. The king is taking his wrath out on everybody— yesterday it was the maids and housekeepers— today it is myself and Matthew— tomorrow it’ll probably be Anastasia again. 

I contemplate telling Anna the truth, I have to draw a line between work and our relationship.

There are some things I keep from her for her own sanity. “Your Dad is mad at the world, I’m trying to defuse situations. So, what’s the matter?” 

“I’m sorry… This whole Henry thing was my fault. It’s all escalating and snowballing.” 

“Anna, stop deflecting.” 

“My side hurts, nothing new.” 

“Can I take a look?” I softly challenge, wanting her permission. 

I know she despises when I have to do this, but right now I’m attempting to be her boyfriend. I genuinely care. It’s just a plus that my job has me trained for taking care of her. Anastasia rolls her eyes and lifts her pyjama top up, revealing the side of her body when she took the hardest hit. 

“Doctor wasn’t joking when she said you’d have bruising. Looks like you definitely have bruised ribs. Why must you be so stubborn?” 

“Same reason why you keep trying to cover the fact you’re unwell and still more worried about me. Please, don’t make a big deal of this.” 

“Anna—“ I begin but I stop myself, “Okay,” I sigh, “But if it gets worse, you’ll tell me?” 

“This isn’t a life or death situation. Let’s go back to sleep.” 

“If you insist.” 

“Can you really not find Henry? I feel uneasy about him.” 

“It’s not my field of work. Matthew is working on it. I know a PI and I’ll call him in the morning.” 

“Aren’t they expensive?” Anna questions and I can’t help but chuckle to myself. 

The woman who literally has no reason to worry about money or the cost of things is concerned a PI expensive but doesn’t seem to take into consideration that half the jewellery in her possession is worth thousands of dollars. 

“I’ll handle it and pay for it, stop worrying about things you don’t need to fret over. It’s my job to worry.” I respond. 

I kiss her cheek and move away from her, dismissing the conversation and settling back down into the bed. Anna doesn’t hesitate, instead, she shuffles closer and rests her hand on my chest as she gets comfortable. I stare up at the ceiling, listening to her breaths while I allow my mind to wander. 

I won’t hesitate to find everything I can about Henry. We should have done an intense search on him when he first came into the picture, but the King was adamant that he knew better and knew the family. Sometimes, the king isn’t always right. I should have listened to my gut instinct. Now, all I can do is keep an eye on Henry and keep Anastasia safe and sound. I don’t want her to worry about anything, and as much as I hate to admit things, Henry makes me uneasy as well. I don’t like how he seems to have gone off the deep end over something as small as losing a bet on a horse. It’s almost as though losing a bet and money triggered him to lose the plot. Perhaps, I’m overthinking things, but from the way Anastasia is acting and reacting, I think she feels the same way. 

For now, it’s my job to worry, not hers. I won’t hesitate to take her worries and pain, and I’ll do everything to keep her settled through chaotic storms. I can’t help but feel like the storm is just starting to brew and it’s about to get worse. 

♔♔♔

I find Anastasia relaxing in my mother’s garden, enclosed by the summer flowers that flaunt their beautiful colours even in the moonlight. 

I wander closer to her sitting figure, offering her a modest smile when she stares up at me. Unfortunately, she doesn’t give me her usual grin, instead, she offers me a fake smile that indicates she’s hiding something. 

“Been looking for you for a minute,” I begin, wanting her absolute attention. 

“Sorry,” Anastasia gazes away from my gaze, “Jus’ needed a minute.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

Anastasia grows withdrawn for a moment and I grasp the silence as a time to step closer and sit beside her. I caress a kiss to her cheek before I arrange my arm around her, “You know, whatever has you down won’t last forever. Things will be okay.” I decide to go with words of encouragement, mainly because I know that she is more than likely stressed over more things than I’m even aware of. I know she was working on a few royal duties this afternoon while it rained, I assumed she was responding to letters or keeping up to date on public, political, and cultural affairs. Her job never truly stops. 

Anastasia heavily laments before resting her head on my shoulder, “My father is losing the plot, Harry.” 

“How so?” I challenge. 

I have to admit, I’m not wholly surprised. He seems to have been on a steady decline since last year when word got around that he needed to pass down the crown. 

I have yet to figure out why he is determined to pass the crown down to Anastasia this year or early next year, nobody has heard of a thorough reason. The house staff have their own conspiracy theories, one being that he wants to leave the crown to Anna so that he doesn’t have to handle royal duties anymore. I don’t think that’s the case. I believe there would have to be a solid foundation for what he’s doing. After all, only one British monarch has ever willingly abdicated the throne, and the King wouldn’t make the second unless it were for a better reason than simply not wanting to do royal engagements. He won’t abdicate. He will likely give Anna the title of Princess Regent, putting her in charge of his official duties while he’d get to keep his title as His Majesty the King— of course, that’s if he wants his title. 

“My Dad is being a prick.” 

I chuckle modestly, “Sweetheart, that’s because he’s the King.” 

“That’s no excuse. Are you saying he has always been a prick?” 

I become withdrawn for a minute, debating my answer. “Well… kind of…” I nod my head, “It depends on the day. There’s a reason why the Palace staff don’t enjoy being on his service.” 

“Is that why you’re never on his service?” 

I don’t know how to answer Anna. It isn’t that I’m never on his service because he’s a prick, it’s more that I just don’t savour being on his service. He can be a very arduous man to keep a watch over. He tends to go against the books and plans on purpose. He doesn’t desire any of the staff listening to too many conversations and will deliberately strive to throw me off his whereabouts. I wouldn’t necessarily say he has secrets, but he definitely likes his privacy and isn’t a fan of me doing my job. “Matthew and I just agree not to have me with your Dad unless he requests me, which is rare.” 

“So, the staff don’t like him?” 

“I don’t think we should discuss this. He does have a say in my wage.” 

“I’ll ask my lady’s maid then,” Anastasia mumbles, “That’s of course if I haven’t been abolished from the monarchy by the time I get home.” 

“What? What happened?” I immediately challenge, uncertain of how she can be abolished from the monarchy. Although, it could work in our favour if it occurred. 

“The King has threatened to take away my title and to make sure I don’t become Queen.” 

As much as I desire to relish in the thought of Anastasia being stripped of her title and not under the thumb of the royal family and monarch, I know that she’s probably upset to hear her father threaten such things. 

“And I know I shouldn’t care and that I don’t really want to go through all this but at the same time… He is being an outright prick for no reason. This Henry situation isn’t my fault.” 

“First of all, sweetheart, the King has no legal authority to alter the succession to the throne. That would require an Act of Parliament,” I inform Anastasia, reminding her of what she already knows. 

“I told him that, he responded with ‘we will see about that.’” … “Henry seems to have my father in a rage.” 

“Is he threatening this because you won’t date Henry or just because he can’t fire palace staff?” I curiously ask, unaware of whether he’s serious or just taking his anger out on Anna since there’s nobody else. I haven’t heard anything from Matthew but I’m also somewhat off the clock, so Matthew won’t bother me unless it’s urgent. 

“I don’t know.” 

“And unless there’s a secret love child, you’re the only one who is eligible for the crown. He can’t do anything,” I continue to explain. 

As bitter as it is, no matter what, Anastasia has no choice but to take the crown. There’s no other heir, she’s the only child of the King and Queen. 

Even if she did want to abdicate for us to be together, where would that leave the monarchy? 

In the hands of a distant cousin or relative? 

Almost every living English citizen is somehow a descendant of an early monarch. 

“I don’t know, Harry. I think Parliament would decide to whom to offer the crown. But surely there has to be someone else in line, I don’t think I can do this. This is becoming a mind game, it’s driving my father insane and it’s stressing me out.” … “I wanted a nice weekend away from it all and it followed me. Are you sure you don’t want to run away together?” Anastasia asks me and for a brief moment, my mind wanders to the ring in my pocket that wants to make an appearance, but a proposal right now isn’t the right time. 

How can I ask her to marry me when she’s gradually going down the rabbit hole of self-destruction because of a monarch who relies on her when she isn’t even Queen. 

“Where would we run off to, my dear?” 

Anastasia lifts her head off my shoulder and stares at me with glossy eyes, “I’d go anywhere with you. Just say the word.” 

She is on the verge of tears and it breaks my heart.

“Well, you said after this Henry charade is over you wanted to come forward with the relationship…” 

“I’d rather run away. We could go to Greece?” Anastasia continues to look at me, wanting an answer. I can’t tell if she’s half-serious or not. “Let’s go to Skopelos.” 

“Anna, I don’t even know where that is.” 

“The small Greek island of Skopelos. Nobody would find us.” 

“You just want to run away without even being married? What would I do for a job? What will you do? The monarch won’t pay for us.” I’m trying to logically process what she’s saying. There’s a small part of me that wants to bring that ring out and propose but logically how could we pull this off? 

We can’t just run off together and fall off the grid. Her father would have everyone looking for her and would presumably kill me with his bare hands. 

“I’m sure there’s a small church somewhere. We could make it all work.”

“We’d need residency permits and a Greek tax-file number, running off to Greece is going to be just as hard.” I think my girlfriend has lost her marbles. 

Anastasia shakes her head, “Never mind,” Anna whispers, a tear managing to fall down her cheek.

“Hey,” I breathe out, pressing the pad of my thumb to the warmth of her cheek, “Don’t  cry, we will work it out, I promise.” 

“How can you promise me that?” 

If only she knew about the damn ring. Things would be different. 

“I just can,” I respond. Every part of me wants to propose right here, right now. But she deserves something better than a proposal while she is upset. She deserves something nicer than this. “I promise that things will be okay. You and I will work it out.” 

“What about the monarchy?” 

“All due respects, but fuck the monarchy. Right now, you are my priority, not everyone else. Darling, I will make things right, have faith in me.” I wipe a few more tears away from her cheeks and she grants me a small smile. “How about we go inside? Play some Scrabble? Watch a movie? Something?” I offer, gesturing towards the house. 

Anastasia nods, standing to her feet, waiting for me. I stand up and I take her hand before I gently lead her inside the house. 

It’s when I step inside my mother’s house and let go of Anna’s hand so she can make her way towards my mother, that I realise, there is a chance Anastaisa and I may not get the chance to have a small, ordinary house together. If we get married and she is the Queen, we would be living the high lifestyle, living in the Palaces. There would be no ordinary home that could use with some fixing up. We wouldn’t do mundane things. Life would be different, that’s for sure. 

Would we manage to live life together by the rules of the monarch? 

Would she manage to have the best of both worlds and balance a sense of normalcy?

♔♔♔

Anastasia’s POV.

The cool breeze from the ceiling fan taps against my skin and I nestle further into the delicate covers of the bed. I leisurely open my eyes, a dull ray of sunshine peeking through the curtains. I tilt my head to the side, Harry’s still fast asleep. It’s rare that I’m ever awake before him. He’s usually out of my bed by five in the morning when we are at the Palace, for obvious reasons. And even when he has no reason to hurry away, he still tends to be the first one awake. 

I know he’s exhausted, dealing with the palace isn’t the easiest of tasks and having to look after myself and anyone else isn’t easy. He’s constantly working without much of a break. He’s still under the weather, as much as he hates to admit it. It’s nothing major, but it is still enough for him to need the extra sleep. I’m not quite sure what time he came to bed last night. After a quick game of scrabble, we started a movie, unfortunately, after twenty minutes, his phone went off with a call and he excused himself. I can only assume Matthew was the one calling. Matthew has a knack for calling at the most inconvenient of times. I tried to wait up for him but by the time he got off the phone, I was already in bed. I’m not sure what happened after his quick kiss goodnight. 

The man that lies beside me, peacefully sleeping, is wholeheartedly the best thing to have walked into my life. I’m not sure where I went right to deserve him. To be honest, sometimes I don’t think I deserve him. Somehow, he never takes the easy way out, he stays. He has seen me at my best, he has seen me at my worst, and has yet to run for the hills. Most men by now would have thrown in the towel and found someone else. By the grace of God, Harry stays. 

I spend the early morning helping Harry’s Mum with the animals, giving them their morning feeds and making sure everybody has water before the day gets too hot. I don’t assume I was much help, but I did try. 

I wander into the bedroom just as Harry is placing the last pillow on the bed, he turns to glance at me and raises a brow, “What happened to you?” He gestures up and down, taking note of my mud-covered jeans and grass-stained t-shirt. “Please tell me you didn’t take a fall.” 

I shake my head, “Did you know horses like to nibble on clothes? I didn’t…. Also, the goats… uh… they’re not charming at their morning feeds.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, just a bit of mud. The princess is fine, relax.” I inform him, with a nod. I understand he just cares, but he needs to relax, a little mud never hurt anyone. “I was wondering if we could leave the house? See where you’re from?” 

“I assume my mother put you up to this?” 

“She may have mentioned some nice places.” 

“Hmmmm, I don’t know, Anna.” Harry responds with uncertainty to his voice, “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.” 

“We are in the middle of nowhere; what could possibly happen?” 

I am aware that anything could quite literally happen, it is me we are talking about, I do not have the best of luck with things. It would be my luck something out of the blue happens and pushes me into some sort of lockdown.

Harry rubs his temples and looks at me before dropping his hands to his side, “Let me have my coffee first and then we can figure something out, okay?” 

“You said we could be normal.” I remind him of the fact he specifically said I could be normal out here. I had it in my mind that we would be able to be more free, we could walk in and out of stores, go to parks, the beach or really anything.

Harry nods his head, “I know, let me have coffee and then we can decide on where to go, okay?” Harry presses a kiss to my forehead, “I love you.” 

“Do I get a say in this or are we still doing the whole Princess act thing?” I question with furrowed brows, irritated that the normal weekend I have been promised is consisting of my father pulling strings from the palace and Harry acting as though he’s still on duty and my bodyguard. 

Harry sighs. “Darling, please, just let me get some coffee… I promise we will leave the property today.” … “I am not trying to be a prick, I am not trying to be your security guard. I just… I just need coffee.” Harry continues to emphasize his need for coffee. 

I nod my head, dropping the subject as I turn on my heel and walk out of his bedroom. I decide to get a head start on getting him his coffee, it is the least I can do for him. I know he was up for most of the night working, and I know it probably isn’t easy being all the way up here while his security team is back home. I know there are a lot of things that could happen that probably runs through his head. I also know I am not always easy to deal with. 

I stand in front of his mother’s coffee machine, bewildered on how the contraption works. I tilt my head to the side, suddenly feeling like a privileged idiot; I have never had to make my own coffee before, nor do I even know how to. It is always poured for me or made for me. I place a cup under where I assume the coffee pours from and I hold my breath as I press one of the button in hopes that it brews coffee. I am out of my element. 

I hear chuckles from behind me and I turn around to see Harry smirking as he sits upon the stool at the counter. “Don’t mind me, just sitting, love,” Harry informs me, trying to hold back his chuckles. 

I bite my lip and heavily sigh, watching as the brewed coffee fills the coffee cup, but I don’t think he wants straight coffee. 

“At the risk of sounding like a privileged princess, Harry, I have never made coffee,” I begin with a soft voice, embarrassed as I look at him. 

He holds back his chuckles and nods his head, promptly removing himself from his position at the counter and walking around to me. “Sweetheart,” Harry begins, pressing a kiss to my forehead, “What are you trying to make?” 

“You a coffee… I just… Where does the milk go? What do all these buttons do? What happened to just having tea? Do people not just make a pot of coffee?” 

“Some of us need a little kick of caffeine in the morning. Some, not all. Here, to make a cappuccino you froth the milk like this,” Harry takes the stainless steel container holding the milk, showing me how to froth the milk like they do in coffee stores. 

“Why is this contraption a thing? Is this a normal thing?” 

Harry laughs, “For some, it is normal. The palace has one, your mother loves it. Convinced me to buy this one for my Mum.” Harry gestures towards the expresso machine as Harry works his magic. “Glad that you still live in the old times of no expresso machines.” 

“I thought they were only in coffee shops.” 

“You need to leave the palace more,” Harry comments, placing the stainless-steel container on the counter. “Here, you can pour the milk into the cop. Gonna have to teach you how I like my coffee,” Harry winks playfully, “Or, perhaps, we will leave it to me to make morning coffees,” Harry gently pokes fun at me. 

I roll my eyes at him and I pour the milk into his cup, quite proud of myself for not managing to make a mess of things.   

♔♔♔

The warm breeze whistles through my hair and the sound of the ocean crashing against the shore becomes music to my ears. It has been a while since I have had the opportunity to stand on the beach without a care in the world, and without having to look over my shoulder to make sure nobody is taking pictures. For the first time in quite a long time, I have a sense of being normal. The sand nestles between my toes, I take a deep breath of the salty air as I tilt my head to the side and glance over at Harry. 

A smile spreads across his pink lips and he stares at me with awe in his eyes. Lord, I’m one lucky girl to get to stare back at the man I’m entirely in love with. We may have our ups and downs, we might not have a conventional relationship, but there’s no other man I’d want to be with, there’s nobody else I’d want to be standing on a beach with. 

Harry takes my hand and we wander closer to the water’s edge until the tip of my toes finally hit the tepid water. I let out a heavy breath, more so relieved and belatedly, happy. “I’d give anything to be able to feel like this more.” 

“Feel like what?” Harry questions, guiding us to stroll along the water's edge. 

I grin to myself, taking note of the birds soaring high over the ocean, “Like a bird,” I chuckle to myself, well aware my description is not ordinary, then again, I’m not ordinary either, “Free and happy,” I respond. “There’s no restraints, no duties, no photographers, I could run into the ocean with my clothes on and nobody would give a damn,” I gladly smile. 

Harry smirks and lets go of my hand, “Well, go on.” Harry gestures towards the water, “By all means, darling, enter the water with your clothes on, be a bird.” 

I shake my head and gesture for him to join me as I step into the water, loving the way it feels to have the sand move under my feet and the water dance around my calves, “Harry, join me.” 

Harry shakes his head, “Not a chance in hell, love.” Harry chuckles, his hands in his pockets as he stands at the edge, the water barely missing his toes. 

“Do you think I could've been a bird?” 

“Oh, god. No. Don’t—“ 

“Say it! Say I'm a bird,” I insist, well aware of what I’m doing. 

Harry brings his bottom lip between his teeth and he glances around. 

“Anastasia, you, my darling, are bonkers.” 

“Say I’m a bird!” 

“That would mean admitting I’ve watched a romantic movie.” Harry shakes his head, watching me as I shrug my shoulders and walk further to the sandbar the tide has exposed. 

I spin around, allowing my dress to dance around me. I glance over my shoulder and see Harry shuffling closer, his hands still in his pockets. 

My feet dance at the edge of the sand bar, thoroughly relishing the freedom, “Tell me.” 

“Tell you, what?” Harry questions, stepping closer to me. 

“Quote my favourite movie.” 

Harry rolls his eyes playfully, “I’d never do such thing.” 

I gasp, stepping away from him with a laugh escaping my lips, “Darling,” Harry laughs, reaching out and wrapping his hand around my wrist, causing me to laugh louder as I playfully attempt to pull away from him. Harry tenderly tugs on me and forces me to face him, “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird,” Harry recites the line and I draw my hair away from my face, still giggling like a schoolgirl. I beam at Harry and he smiles back at me, his eyes bright and full of more love than I could ever imagine. “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird. Anastasia, I’ll be anything you need me to be, and I’ll go anywhere I need to go. I’d walk to the end of the earth if it meant being with you; I’ll do everything that it takes, I’ll fight any battle thrown at me, I’ll fight for you and for us. I’ll protect you, at all costs. Darling, I love you, and I honestly couldn’t imagine this life without you.” Harry’s sweet words take me by surprise. 

Harry clears his throat and bites his lip as he gets down on one knee. 

I stare at him, stunned. Is this— is this happening? 

“It won’t be easy, but I promise to love you through everything. Princess Anastasia Annette Leanor, Duchess of Edinburgh, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” 

As the man I’m madly in love with opens the ring box, I can’t help but think about the fact that it would be MY honour to marry him. He is my knight in shining armour, in more ways than one. He’s everything to me. Perhaps, I haven’t always been gracious to him, nor have I always made things easy. The monarch doesn’t make things easy, but this isn’t the monarch's decision. This is mine. For the first time in a long time, I feel free, and for the first time in a long time, I’m going against all traditions and rules; I’m going against the monarch. 

“Yes… Of course. Yes. Harry.” I can’t contain my excitement; how could I ever say no to a proper proposal? 

Harry slides the ring on my finger and for the first time in forever, everything is perfectly right in the world. Before I can blink, I’m wrapped in his arms and he’s spinning me around, “I love you,” he whispers, bringing me to a stop and placing me down. 

“I love you,” I whisper, gazing at him like he has hung the stars in the sky and moved all the oceans just for me. I lean up and kiss him, slowly and sweetly— nothing else in the world matters. 

#harry styles imagines #imagine harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurbs #harry styles prompts #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles fic #harry styles one shots #harry styles preferences #1d imagine #imagine 1d #imagine one direction #harry styles fanfics #fanfic one direction #one direction fanfiction #one direction fan fiction #one direction blurbs #harry styles blurb

[kingdomblade]

Digimon Kizuna thoughts

All spoilers will be under the cut!

Fresh off of Tri when Kizuna was announced, I wrote up some hopes I had for this movie. Without looking back at that list, I'm pretty sure this movie managed to not hit any of the things I wanted off of that list - but I'm still walking away completely satisfied. The characters, the story, the setting all feel like completely natural progression from how I remember them, it manages to tell a compelling story in a fairly short movie, the animation and designs are drop dead gorgeous. It's clearly a labor or love and I'm thankful for everyone who worked on it. In some ways it leaves me wanting more - I'd love one more entry with the 02 group as a focus, and I think there would be a lot of value in an entry that focuses more on Digimon intigrated with the human world rather than yet another story about kids discovering Digimon. But if this is the last time we see these twelve in this form, what a way to go. 

This is absolutely stream of consciousness writing while I’m on my second watch through of the day (In lieu of livetweeting - I’ll spare my followers that much lol). Is it rambling? Absolutely. It may or may not be of interest, but I thought it would be something fun to do regardless. If you decide to read, I hope you enjoy!

----

Tom Fahn’s Agumon is noticeably a bit lower pitched even compared to Tri, weather he can’t take his voice up as much or if it’s a different portrayal I’m not sure but it still fits him really well - Tentomon’s voice feel slightly different too. Funny enough Gabumon is somehow lighter and more childish than his original portrayal, but it also fits him well.

Both Tri and Kizuna have such a weird process to their casting - They got back actors that as far as I can tell haven’t done much if anything since their days on Digimon, they’ve gotten back actors for side characters with bit parts. They’ve hired new actors that seem to take the original voice into account and take their own spin on them, and then they hire actors with absolutely no regard for how the original sounded to the point that it just plain conflicts with the established character. It’s all over the place and it’s weird.

Johnny Yong Bosch's portrayal seems slightly different from Tri, maybe he's playing him slightly older, maybe it's the slightly different personality, maybe I'm imagining it. Something about it reminds me of Doug Erholtz's portrayal, which is an added bonus when JYB was already one of the best of the recasts. Minutes in and I'm completely sold on Nicholas Roye's Matt as well, it sounds like a natural progression from his Adventure voice.

In a vacuum Griffin Burns is a decent Davis, but he's one of the recasts that immersion breaking because not only does he sound nothing like Brian Donovan, but his take on Davis is higher pitch than Donovan's so it's impossible to hear him as older. The fact that Donovan was supposed to reprise his role is just salt on the wound. With the insane amount of delays that this dub got, they surely could have brought him back onboard... It's a  shame that 2 our of 3 roles I've heard of Burns have been a replacement of another actor, hope he can get more roles where he can shine more. On the other hand, Bryce Papenbrook as Cody is brilliant casting coming from his 02 voice for what little we get to hear of him.

Yolei didn't sound to great in her video message, but by the time we see her in person her VA has gotten into the role and captures her really well. Hawkmon sounds fine enough, but I'm way more upset than I should be about Armadillomon's voice considering he doesn't have many lines. A recast was mandatory here, and 'medium-deep southern accent' should honestly be pretty easy to replicate but what we got was horrific. What casting director knew enough about the characters to know that Hawkmon had a British accent but not enough to know what an armadillo sounds like??

Mimi is just straight up Sakura now! I actually thought Kate Higgens would have made a great Yolei, kinda funny to see her here as Mimi now.

Not only did Agumon's "Polly want a cracker?" line slay me, but there's something about Tom Fahn's portrayal that really hits me, even though he's not even my favorite Digimon. It hasn't even been a long time since I've heard it - Tri wasn't that long ago, and I just rewatched Adventure/02 within the past few weeks, but hearing him made me a bit emotional, ha. Same thing happened with his first appearance in Tri, and that was after having seen it in Japanese and knowing what was going to happen!

The opening battle is like a complete screw-you to Tai's arc in Tri with Greymon smashing into buildings and Tai completely unfazed. I'm here for it, lol.

The remastered Digivolution sequences are nice but in true nostalgia fashion I kinda prefer the originals, haha.

Izzy's computer is counting down a 'time rimit'.

Agumon says something to the effect of “Aren’t I always hungry?“ and I don't feel like it’s a reference/jab at Tri, but it got a chuckle out of me anyway.

Tai's classmate is blatantly voiced by JYB too, ha.

Matt gives his location as 'inside the restaurant' when calling an ambulance which seems... not helpful. Love that Tai's reaction to a girl collapsing is a confused "Is she drunk?"

An article on Tai's phone is written in perfect English and he gets message from the name Izzy specifically so I'd assume this is a change for the US release. Subtitles would have been perfectly fine but it's a nice effort to keep immersion.

"The ol' Izz-master" I’m so, so glad they got Jeff Nimoy to write this script, bless Toei.

Only 4 of the Digidestined participating in the battle against the Digidestined is kinda disappointing until I realized that it was a throwback to Our War Game - TK and Izzy get to participate more this time around! As per usual Tentomon (Kabuterimon) manages to sneak in a hilarious line here.

'Lime Magazine' just doesn't have the same ring to it...

TAI'S MAGAZINES...

Tai calling Agumon 'little buddy' is the second scene to hit me right in the feels.

Matt is the only one to reach out to the 02 kids during the movie, I wonder if he felt guilty about what went down in Tri and kept in touch with them a bit more since.

Seeing Kari and TK tied up in a dark room like that is actually one of the more shocking scenes in the movie. That could have ended very differently if this was a different movie...

Meiko shows up for literally one scene with Meicoomon which has... interesting implications. This movie retroactively makes her more tragic as well, as even if she didn't sacrifice Meicoomon there's a chance their partnership would have dissolved anyway - almost a complete lose-lose, there was no way for them to be happy together.

Himekawa is also retroactively more tragic as it's possible she would have been able to see Tapirmon again here - one shows up in the crowd shot!

Honestly this is the movie Himekawa deserved - she was a really interesting character that got wasted and underused in Tri, and while Menoa parallels her in a lot of ways her stoicism just isn't as interesting and Hime's decent into madness was.

L'il Joe has black hair now?

I'm pretty sure Menoa doesn't say "Oh shit" but honestly I'm gonna pretend she does.

I mentioned on Twitter how Leomon doesn't die in this one because he never showed up, but there's one fighting an Eosmon in what I think is Osaka and he doesn't die, and GOOD ON HIM, HE BROKE THE CYCLE!

Omnimon having limbs sliced off got an audible gasp from me.

Matt ACTUALLY got to curse in this movie, character development!!

"Just one thing: Meow" I had to pause the movie, I lost it

Story wise, theme wise, character wise I get it, but mad Sora got screwed over in this movie. Would have been nice if 'To Sora' was included inside of the movie at least.

I still don't like Agu and Gabu's new evolutions, but they did feel really earned and a natural extension of the plot. What better way to spark an evolution than such a huge sacrifice? Izzy's perfectly timed 'prodigious' was the icing on the cake, coming at such a fitting emotional moment and possibly being the last time we'll hear it from Izzy.

When the Eosmon start disappearing all over the world there's a shot of an exhausted lone Numemon who had clearly held off the Eosmon with all the poop that is strewn about. THAT is the next story I want to see.

Unfortunately this movie is in the Tri School of Only Using Champion Level. It's actually pretty inexcusable that we we don't see WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon one more time, but even the other characters should have gone up to Ultimate if not Mega for one final sendoff. I wish we could have seen them truely fight as a team once more, even just for fanservice.

My strongest complaint with the movie itself is that it just kinda... ends. The ending is super emotional, but it just skips ahead afterwards and says 'things are going to be ok!' and ends. I would have liked to see the rest of the kids once more, seeing how they handle the fallout or how they might support Tai and Matt - or maybe a little about what Tai and Matt have taken away from this whole things. Just felt like we needed an extra couple of minutes.

Will we see these particular versions of these characters again? From what I can tell this movie did well in Japan and it’s trending pretty well on Amazon, so who knows. I hope if we do, it’s because the writers come up with an idea they really believe in and not just for the sake of a sequel. But if not, I’m definately greatful for what we have.

#Digimon #Digimon Adventure #Digimon Adventure Last Evolution Kizuna

[grizzly-bear-bane]

Some of the final chapter to The Devil John Knows and the One Bane Doesn’t coming up

(NSFW, explicit)

+

Bane was fuming when he woke to a bucket of water splashed on his face. His growl was absolutely deadly. His wrists, neck, and legs were bound to both sides of the wooden archway of one of the barn’s stables. 

And before him, John paced slowly, smirking still as he admired his handiwork. “Those are knots even I can’t break with a knife.” He sauntered over like a cat on a caught mouse. “Now about these negotiations. Having insulted me, Bane, I ‘m not much inclined to negotiate anything anymore.”

Bane’s laugh was as murderous as his glare. “Pity.” He strained against his bounds. He and his little rebel both eyed the faint dust that fell from the top of the arch, but the wood did not give. 

John grinned, cheeky. “That good ol’ American craftsmanship.”

“Untie me, dog, and I will gladly change your mind about these negotiations.”

“Oh, you certainly will,” John purred, stepping forward, unflinching when Bane tried to break free again. He unbuttoned Bane’s trousers, kissing a line up the man’s thick neck. He stroked him roughly, fast, until Bane was hard again. He stepped away, taking Bane’s gift of oil from his coat pocket with him. “But first, I fear, I must establish my position.”

“And what position would that be?”

“Certainly not beneath you, even as intense as my release is when you crush me. But this is business.”

Bane watched John undress, feeling as much like the beast as he was fabled to be. “I want to eat you, boy. Devour that tight body and tear you limb from limb.”

John climbed up on a haystack opposite the stables. He lay down on his back, his legs opened like a tavern whore’s. He gripped his cock and balls, moving them out of the way to make sure Bane could see the oil he poured reach his hole. John’s toes curled under his socks when he glanced back up at Bane through his hair. “And then?”

Bane laughed, relaxing. John knew him oh so well. “And then, I will take with me the intimate parts of you that I find most sweet. Keep them in a little chest. And whenever I feel my lust for you returning, I will take those parts from their box and use them as I see fit, as long, as hard, and as often as I wish.”

John’s hole clenched just listening to him speak such lewd threats as he left the haystack. He gripped their cocks together in his slick hand, bucking against Bane’s, their faces pressing together though never to kiss. “Your handling would be too rough,” he panted. “You would break those parts within a day.” 

Bane couldn’t offer a response, transfixed in the sight of John turning his back to him, rubbing his ass against Bane’s length before he took hold of it to mount himself. Bane’s eyes closed and his breath tumbled from his mask in strangled, labored breaths. His hips snapped forward of their own volition, without pace or rhythm. He was overcome by how hot and tight John was; more even than the last time they’d ‘battled’ like this. “You haven’t been tending to yourself, little rebel.”

“And I regret it. This hurts.” John groaned, pushing back against Bane’s shallow thrusts. He grit his teeth, and had reach for Bane’s arm just to keep his balance. “I’ve been too busy beating you and your British lords to finger myself as diligently as you’ve ordered me to.” 

“Still… you’re too stubborn not to take this beating. You enjoy that stretch and aching.”

“I do! However…” 

To Bane’s utter turmoil, he opened his eyes in time to see John step just out of his cock’s reach. He roared. He tried to buck, he tried to break free of the knots binding him, he tried to bring the whole barn down, but nothing could bring back that soft, warm body save for John and his mercy. Mercy Bane knew John did possess but would never offer freely. Not to Bane, at least. Not without Bane giving him everything he wanted first. 

“John, push me any further, and I may honestly lose my wits and kill you, boy.”

John giggled, sweetly. It boiled Bane’s blood. The boy didn’t bother turning to face him, but Bane could tell he was stroking himself. It was… surprisingly cruel. Bane had shed blood today and was prepared to shed more, even that of his own mercenaries just to get close to John again. Through it all, he’d been numb to the bombs and muskets and swords, just focused like a hawk on John. Bane knew that when it was over, he would spread that boy and break him as promised in their letters and yet now, John was threatening to pleasure himself to completion and abandon Bane. 

“I underestimated you,” he whispered, careful not to miss hearing one panting breath from his boy. 

John paused. At last he turned to face Bane. “That was quick. You have a reputation for weathering torture far better than this.”

“Then… you underestimate yourself as well, devil.”

+

#bear writes stuff #bane x john blake #bane x blake #john blake X bane #baneblake

[pigeontheoneandonly]

This is a little fanfic I did of @citadelsushi’s amazing long fic, Give to Pressure. It’s a fantastic enemies-to-lovers AU set in the Old West, starring her Avory Shepard and Kaidan Alenko.  I cannot say enough good things about this fic.  Its characterization, writing, and atmosphere are absolutely on point.  And it even updates reliably!  It’s a joy to read and you should all stop whatever you’re doing and go read it right now.

All those feels spilled over and I ended up writing a short fic about Nathaly set in this universe.  Since no planet is big enough for two Shepards, I’ve altered her story a bit to accommodate.

* * *

Nathaly Cabrera stood at her bar, tallying up the books from last night.  The sun had just crested the hills and shed long beams of pink light over the worn planks.  Though well-accustomed to rising at first light, Sundays never got too easy, as folks piled into town for morning services and seemed keen to get all their sinning done the evening before.  She wasn’t dressed yet herself; boots and pants and an untucked shirt, just enough to see to the yard, her uncombed hair tumbled over her shoulders in a red tangle.

Least she had the mind to knock the muck from her boots.  Nathaly never cared much for scrubbing floors, and even less for scrubbing chicken shit.

The door swung open and brought with it a dry wind and the promise of another achingly hot day. Nehal stepped inside, tugging off her gloves, a picture in rose silk.  She took in Nathaly with a sigh.  “You get a move on.  We’ll be late.”

“Perish the thought.”  Neither had enough Christian in her for even the devil to recognize, but Nehal would rise from her death bed before she’d miss a lick of gossip.  In a town as small as this, church was the social highlight of the week.  

She was too familiar with her grumpiness to spare much concern.  “I heard the train come in yesterday. So I walked down to Miller’s to see about the mail.”

Nathaly took the envelope she offered, and made a face.  “Mi madre.”

“ Sí.” She hiked her bustle and perched on a stool, folding her arms over the bar top.  Relishing her irritation.  “And how is dear Miss Hannah doing?”

The paper was creased and torn, some indication of the distance it had traveled, but she’d learned better than to guess.  She slit it open and read the first few lines.  “Well, she was in Peking as of two months back.”

“Peking? Why?”  That was far abroad even by Hannah’s tumbleweed standards. 

“Says here she joined a merchant caravan out of Persia, heading east.”  Her frown deepened.  Her mother’s wandering feet took her all over the world as a child, putting down roots just to have them ripped back out of the ground, tender and smarting.  Age hadn’t slowed her a mite.

Nehal reached over and rested her hand on her forearm.  Comforting. “Sulk if it pleases you, but you’ve got more than a touch of her blood, and you know it.”

Nathaly muttered. Nehal’s smiled widened, teasing.  “Following that same wind blew you all the way to East India.”

A pressing need to get out of town had blown her to India, fleeing a city a long ways from here, where the fastest way out was to sign on with a ship’s crew.  But Nehal was right.  She let Hannah dig too far under her skin.  Instead, she picked up her hand and planted a kiss in the palm. “Your siren song spread across the seas.”

“Such a charming liar.”  Her laugh faded.  “But that’s not all that came in on the train.”

After seven years and two continents, Nehal was an open book.  She knew her thoughts by her look like she knew her whiskeys by their scent. “Not more of those yellow-sashed bastards.”

At her nod, Nathaly cursed, and reached behind the bar.  Her eyebrows rose, mildly.  “Don’t tell me you mean to leave with liquor on your breath.”

“Don’t tell me I’m not entitled, between my mother and this.”  She poured out a finger and took a sip.  “Damn it.  I have half a mind—”

“We should head south for a spell.”  Switching topics like the weather turning, inexorable and without a care for anyone’s agenda.  “It’s been nigh on two years since we visited your father.  Your nephew will be taller than me.”

Nathaly wasn’t having it.  “Leave papá out of this.”

“Sure as starlight, three weeks in you’ll hear talk of trouble somewhere, or go looking for it.”  She folded her hands.  Nathaly couldn’t escape her level stare.  “And you’ll come home with the sun, covered in bandito blood and lookin’ to cap off the evening with exertions of a different sort.”

“You’ve never not obliged,” she harrumphed.

Her mouth turned up in a wicked little smile.  “Never said I minded.”

It was an opening worth seizing.  “Do we have to go to church?”

“The point,” said Nehal, as Nathaly sighed and took another drink, “Is to syphon off a bit of this poison of yours, so you’ll come home with your head on straight and resist the impulse to start fights you can’t finish.”

“They already heard loud and clear their money ain’t welcome here.  You best believe I’d finish it.”

“No, Nathaly, you won’t.”

That gave her pause.  She’d rarely seen Nehal so sober.  “You’ve heard something.”

She shook her head.  “Not any one thing.  But I haven’t bought a shipment of silver anything in near half a year.  Silk and tea are getting scarce.”

Life under the Raj had been kinder to Nehal’s family than most, undoubtedly aided by her British grandfather.  Though most of the town saw her as a pretty ornament, something Nathaly brought back like a souvenir, the truth was her import business made better money than the bar. She’d eat her hat if any of the townsfolk other than the proprietors themselves could source the sudden availability of so many hard to come by goods.  

But they kept those opinions behind their teeth.  No other place in town had ousted Cerberus, so any woman who could enforce a ban from the only watering hole wasn’t someone to cross.  Besides, Nathaly had yet to meet a body who looked at two unmarried adults living together, sharing property, and couldn’t damn well figure it out. Nobody said anything about that, either. Though they did share the occasional quiet nod with Luther and Eddie when they rode in from their ranch every few months.

“Cerberus is controlling the supply lines, buying them directly or through coercion.  And a snapping up fair amount of the goods.”  Nehal looked up at her.  “A single person taking on an empire is a recipe for a funeral, and I’m not ready to bury you yet.”

She held her gaze a long minute, and then let out an explosive sigh.  “Fine.  Boils my blood.”

“Mine, too.”

Nathaly raised an eyebrow.  “You keeping safe around town?”

She moved her arm to reveal the small pearl-handled revolver at her waist. Prim as it was, Nathaly had seen her put a bullet through the eye of a man at thirty paces.  So as to not get blood on the satin, she’d explained, smoothing her dress.  “And I’ve told Lilybet to keep a weather eye and clear of the station.”

A fever took her parents, and while plenty of ranches would be happy to have another hand, she chose to make her own way.  Or as much of a way as she could, spending more nights than not sleeping in their parlor upstairs.  That was alright.  She’d had it hard enough without disallowing her some dignity in illusions.

Just then, the door creaked open again.  Nathaly’s hand closed on the shotgun under the bar before she was done looking up. Nobody came around for a drink on Sunday morning, and Lilybet would use the back door.  Trains brought in all manner of trash.

She aimed it forward and scrutinized the silhouette darkening her porch.  Then she exhaled, set it down, and picked up the glass. “Oh.  It’s you.”

#mass effect #give to pressure AU #citadelsushi #nathaly shepard #fanfic

[artificialqueens]

she loves me! (multi) — chapter three - Roza

[ summary ] : with the changing of seasons comes more and more letters exchanged, shea feels nothing but anxiety about the approaching date her and dear friend have organised. meanwhile, katya can't catch a break and sasha is adjusting to the new work life and job.

[ author's note ] : our show has been fucking incredible and just infectious and I'm so glad people love the show as much as we love performing it, I'm very, very excited, enjoy the next chapter! - lily.

My Tumblr / AO3 / (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

— *.✧

"Autumn begins!" Shea yelled hoovering with her coat unbuttoned, walking down aimlessly the usual streets— crossing the Budapest bridge over to make it to her job though she still had a decent twenty minutes before her shift would begin.

It had been almost a solid two weeks with the new employee: Sasha Velour, who perhaps deservedly was offered the position as a clerk the minute Mrs. Coady saw the sale of that damn musical cigarette box happen in an instant. Of course there was absolutely no hesitation of acceptance from the Russian girl with a distinct pearly white and bright smile, she needed the job and badly.

Shea understood the rocky economy but a part of her ached and was jealous. It wasn't even a better of losing that pointless bet, she might be from Chicago from she can't hold a grudge as tight and long as most think she could.

Another letter was slid in her large coat pocket, waiting to get to the store to read it. She had picked it up from the mailbox, anxiously jumping and skipping around her apartment for it. The next installment was beginning and it made her entire day to know their arrangements of meeting were upcoming. She approached the door, waving to Katya who had also arrived making sure to step over Aquaria's broom.

—

Dear friend,

When the day brings petty aggravation and my poor, frayed nerves are all askew,

I forget these unimportant matters pouring out my hopes and dreams to you.

As I rest my pen and look around me, I can see the summer disappear.

Oh, dear friend, all at once, Autumn's here!

—

"Good morning Ms. Zamolodchikova!"Aquaria called out as she helped the blonde get over the newly formed crack in the sidewalk, taking her hand gently. The blonde giggled and fixed the bobby pins keeping her hair in place as she gave a kiss on the cheek to the younger girl out of thankfulness.

"Good morning Aquaria!"

"Look!" She called out, holding out her broom and gasping as the leaves from the tree officially started to fall, "Autumn!" It was now the turning of a new season in Hungary which meant colder weather but more business, Christmas would be the most god awful but whatever it took to pay the bills and suffice, they couldn't complain.

Alaska strolled down the sidewalk with her coat hanging openly, unbuttoned as her heels clacked against the newly painted sidewalks. Immediately jumping and speeding up her pace to get to the Russian girl who had her fingers laced around the handle of the door.

"Ah, Katya! Here you are on this first October day, the quintessence of autumn." Her voice shocking the blonde who only froze and crossed her arms, a brow cocked as if she was interested to listen in what her co-worker currently had to say considering their last quarrel.

"I do hope you've forgiven me for our little misunderstanding last night—" Alaska grinned, propping her body up against the front glass window of the shop, continuing with a laid-back attitude, "I just can't bear it when we fight, can you darling? Truthfully?"

"Go to hell." Katya smiled as she spoke, loud enough for everyone to hear before slamming the door right in Alaska's face, not even wanting to hear whatever the excuse was this week for skipping their arranged dates twice in a row, one right after the other.

Shea stepped outside hearing Katya and Alaska begin to already bicker and grumble under their breath about whatever situation that had arisen. Her pen shyly placed between her hand, raising the blank paper as she looked across the bridge to see that small view of the Danube, channeling the newly welcomed weather as she put her thoughts to the paper.

—

Dear friend,

With November just around the corner

I've a feeling you may also share.

Do you feel an undertone of discord,

And a sense of tension in the air?

—

Sharon groaned, opening the door as she noticed Shea sitting lonely on the wooden bench right outside the shop right where Aquaria's bike was locked and parked.

"Really Ms. Couleé? Must this sidewalk always be paved with leaves?" Snapping at the younger girl who immediately stood as the autumn weather crunched under the pressure of her heels, stammering to get out a reply.

"No Mrs. Coady!" She called out before hearing the door immediately shut behind her face, she winced and gained back enough of a confidence to finish off her correspondence.

—

If it weren't for you endearing letters

I'd be flying south with all the geese!

By the way, have you read War and Peace?

— *.✧

"Good morning Miss Velour I see you're finally on time today." The first day of December had finally bestowed upon them and Shea still was completely agitated that Sasha was working with them. Even if she did her job splendidly and they genuinely needed a replacement for Mrs. Edwards the time she had stumbled into the perfume shop.

Sasha laughed, rolling her eyes as she scrambled through her purse stopping just in front of the door attempting to find her name tag as she spoke with heavy amusement. "I'm so sorry to disappoint you Ms. Couleé."

"Disappointed? Far from it, call me surprised."

The two laughed mockingly in eachother's face before Sasha gave a curse under her breath and slammed the door behind Shea. The American quickly following in her lead as Divina put down her daily paper, Aquaria groaning as she ran over to the redhead who laughed at the clearly disgruntled teenager.

"You know they always fight with each other, why is it?" Divina wasn't too sure if that question was rhetorical but shrugged, smiling instinctively. "Well you see it's a simple chemical reaction really, when two people really like each other—" Aquaria gasped and interrupted immediately.

"Wait they like each other?"

"Well I think so."

Aquaria wasn't too sure what to believe, they had been poking at each other since the blonde had gotten the job and since then it was rare a day went by without a spat or two. "Well why don't we tell them?" Her innocent look gazing at Divina enough to make the British girl almost burst into laughter aloud, her hand touching her shoulder with a sigh.

"Aquaria, my dear, they'd never believe us."

The blonde yelped, pointing at the trees and sky around her as small flakes began to fall from the sky, her mouth agape as she brushed her hair behind her ear with a grin.

"Look! Winter!"

— *.✧

Winter wasn't ever a concern for Sasha who was from the grand Soviet Union, known for three things currently: it's harsh weather, it's botched and executed royal family and famine. Lucky enough to live a life of comfort in Leningrad she couldn't possibly complain with a bit of chill.

Chill couldn't possibly withstand the warmth she felt opening the latest letter up and reading it for the first time, her walk stumbling as she leaned against the wall of the shop simply examining the words and reading them aloud for herself, covered in a comfortable white coat.

—

Dear friend,

Have you set your calendar for Tuesday,

When we bring this chapter to a close?

When I meet my lady of the letters who puts tiny faces in her Os.

In the freezing weather of December, I'll be warmly waiting for our date.

Until then, count the hours.

—

Completely distracted by her own thoughts she quickly gasped, "I'm late for work, I'm late!" She grumbled completely frustrated before running towards the door with a thump as she shut the door behind her and wished a good morning to all the employees already here.

"I'm so sorry I'm late! I hope Shea hasn't said anything." She poured aloud as Katya gasped excitedly seeing her take off her coat exposing her perfectly fitting black lace dress and matching black and white heels.

"Look at her she's all new! The shoes, the dress!" The other Russian yelled completely engulfed with all the new fashion, Sasha laughed adjusting the bobby pin that held the curls from her face as she proudly winked pointing out the necklace and fixing the flying strands of blonde hair.

"Top to bottom!"

Alaska smiled curiously, "I have a feeling our own Sasha Velour is in love and she has a rendezvous tonight!" Sasha looked away, clasping her hands together in utter quiet as Divina laughed, rubbing her shoulders in comfort.

"Oh how would you of all people know?"

Katya quickly interjected with a bright glimmer in her eyes though her tone was anything but bright, "Alaska is an expert in love which is really quite remarkable considering the fact she's never been in it." Alaska tisked the blonde as Shea entered the room walking briskly across the floor.

"Morning Ms. Velour."

The Russian blinked, raising a small frown out of the corner of her lips. "Something is wrong, she didn't yell at me." Katya quickly walked over and cleared her throat as she nudged towards Sharon who had her back turned, her body language reading nothing but anger.

"Mrs. Coady has been angered lately and you know who gets the worst of it." She whispered before pulling Sasha to the back to begin their new task: gift wrapping all the boxes. It was definitely a nice change for Sasha who had only been changing the shop around and filling up tubes of the cold cream, making labels as well.

"Ms. Couleé!" Sharon's voice radiated throughout the shop, Divina looking up to her friend as the American quickly scattered over to her boss, still rubbing the dust off of her pants as her words extended further. "Tell me, what's wrong with this?" She extended her hand as Sharon handed a sour tube of the cold cream, the ends torn as a small stain became apparent on Shea's blazer.

"It's sour ma'am."

"And whose job is it to fill these?"

Shea groaned of embarrassment, "It is Sasha and I sir, it's my fault, I won't let it happen again." Sharon crossed her arms and walked off rather unamused, turning back to glance up and down her uniform not wanting to hark on other issues pressing at the moment.

"Thank you Ms. Couleé, that's all I needed to know."

Divina quickly ran over and huffed, scraping the last bits of the tubed cream off her blazer, "Look at you, there's Mona Lisa all over you." Shea frowned, not sure if to be first be upset over a tarnished outfit or her own boss being so aggressively targeting her recently.

"Divina, I'm so nervous, I'm meeting her tonight."

"Who? The lady of your letters?" Her eyes flashed immediately as she gripped the younger girl's suit a slight nod from her co-worker, "You look wonderful, I don't understand why you're so anxious!"

Every nerve seemed to run bone  cold down Shea's spine, feeling the need to immediately fess up to all the little details she never mentioned to Divina when reading the letters. She licked her lips, feeling her throat go completely dry.

"Well I mean— I didn't exactly tell the entire truth in those letters."

"So you lied?"

"I didn't lie! I sprinkled in little fictitious nods is all."

The red head chuckled, grabbing her shoulders feeling her nervous glance as she replied with a quick, "No wonder you're vibrating." Her co-worker groaned with cold perspiration.

"I'm nervous and upset: this girl I've never met is going to be with me tonight at eight Divina!" Her fingers brushing over the letter that held the key words, every overthinking thought she had placed in the fault of a piece of paper. "Tonight I'll walk right up and sit down beside the smartest girl and town and then it's anybody's guess."

The woman of my dreams, it's all coming at once.

Running over to Divina's counter she groaned as she sat in what was usually reserved for the shoppers and their own idle conversation, she plainly stared at the black watch that wrapped around her wrist, "Three more minutes, two more seconds and ten more hours to go!" She yelled as Alaska and Aquaria turned slightly, going back to their individual work rather quickly, attempting to ignore Shea's personal therapy session with Divina.

"I feel just a huge mix of depression and elation! More and more I'm breathing less and less…" she gasped as she leaned into her co-workers shoulders completely unconvinced that tonight was to go well for her though the red-head beside her was quickly becoming more and more frustrated and concerned with her friend’s behavior regarding what was to be of tonight.

Shea had been on dates before. Many.

Hell, she had multiple girlfriends before she had even begun her work at the shop but her longest latest about a year, breaking up due to differences saying it was better Shea stay involved in her own world, her work. Dear Friend was something of a comfort until it became the thing she looked forward most to in her entire week: each correspondence better and more personal than the last.

“You will be fine.” Her eye’s bounced off the walls as she glanced over at the clock for a brief moment. “Just don’t let this distract you, Mrs. Coady clearly is less than impressed than usual.”

“Two more minutes, three more seconds, ten more hours to go! If all goes well, who knows, I might propose!”

Divina definitely did not doubt Shea’s intention, she was constantly pressured by her parents and she, herself certainly did not help considering her own marriage. This shop certainly had its number of affairs though by affair’s they truly only meant Katya and Alaska who were possibly having the most obvious and bitter affair in all of Hungary.

“I could really use some help with these new boxes if anyone wants to help!” A desperate Aquaria called out, wide eyed trying to find a safe place to put down the new stock of Lavender oils. Divina running over and grabbing the box from the bottom and lifting it up to the counter right of them being extra cautious with all of its contents.

Shea couldn't help but sweat, couldn't help but think about what was awaiting her tonight. Adjusting her blazer as she groaned to herself, staring out the stained glass window awaiting for eight to roll around so that she could finally have some closure and know that this wasn't some kind of a joke, that her Dear Friend was truly out there.

In my imagination I can see our conversation taking shape, I'll know when this is done if something has ended or, if it's only just begun.

#rpdr fanfiction #sasha velour #shea coulee #divina de campo #aquaria #alaska thunderfuck #katya zamolodchikova #sharon needles #sashea #katlaska #she loves me au #musical theatre au #lesbian au #roza #concrit welcome

[theawkwardterrier]

things left behind and the things that are ahead, ch. 14

AO3 link here

He’s always taken by surprise when the memories come for him. It will be something small, usually: an article he goes to set aside because Bruce would be interested, or - even after all this time - a reach for his phone to check the weather before realizing the reflex won’t make sense for several more decades. The first Thanksgiving he spends with Peggy, he’s muddled through enough to have the turkey in the oven and the potatoes boiling on the stove and suddenly he remembers being on the run, holed up in an apartment in Sofia with Sam recounting stories of family holidays past as he taught Steve and Natasha to make “the best damn cornbread you’ll ever eat.” (Steve remembers the recipe and serves it at dinner, but can’t bring himself to taste it.)

There’s the time that Rose, independent minded as always, starts calling her new brother Natty, then Nat (over and over - “Nat, Nat, Nat”), until Steve, who does not yell at his children, finds himself barking at her to quit it before leaving the room. He apologizes to them all later, a mulish, wary-eyed Rosie in particular, but none of them ever uses the nickname again.

Once, he is waiting in line at the post office and recalls with a sudden and biting shudder that something of him is out there, frozen and insensate in the solitary ice while Steve lives this life. And then he realizes that Thor is somewhere now too, still young and princely, a warrior, already having lived a thousand years or more. Someone Steve could talk to, someone who would not know him, someone who can’t be reached. (The postal clerk offers condolences as he mails his package.)

The day Tony is born is particularly bad.

Steve knew that Maria was pregnant, knew it was going to happen soon. The date on the calendar triggered something familiar in the back of his mind when he went to write in the sleepover party Emma has scheduled for that evening. But he is still surprised when he gets the call.

It comes in the early hours. Peggy grumbles when the phone shrills into the dim morning quiet of their bedroom - she’d been on a late-night call and only got to sleep around 2 AM - so Steve rolls out of bed and over to the dresser to answer it.

“Steve!” It’s Howard, sounding entirely too awake. “Steve, he’s here!”

Steve massages his eyes for a moment, wondering if he has to rouse Peggy after all. Some diplomat, some dangerous figure he doesn’t know about…? But Howard is continuing, “—told me take her over to Mt. Sinai. Luckily I had Jarvis drive us because that woman really had her claws in my arm - hard to steer with that kind of grip on you. Figured the kid was ready to fall out of her, the way she was acting, but we were there all night.You know they let husbands come in for the main event these days? Crazy times. Thought Ana would be better at that sort of thing, though. Calming presence and all. She came out about an hour ago, brought me in to see him before they took him away. Ten fingers, ten toes and all, did great on that baby score test, and we’ve named him too! Anthony, for Maria’s father, but we’ll call him—”

“Tony,” Steve says softly, but it is lost under Howard’s joyful echo.

He had thought that it would be Jarvis calling, pride and delight masked beneath British propriety. He imagined it like being informed about a royal birth: “It has just been announced that Mrs. Maria Stark was safely delivered of a boy at 3:43 A.M. and that she and the child are both doing well.” He could have stood for that, offered suitable congratulations on behalf of himself and the rest of the family, and hung up. But now it is Howard, bursting with unexpected eagerness about his son over the telephone line, and the appropriate amount of corresponding happiness seems more than Steve has to give.

There’s a sick twist in his gut as he thinks of the disdain and hurt in Tony’s voice whenever he spoke about Howard, and it only gets worse when his mind recalls the vivid details of Tony slumped in his armor that final time - the smoke of it all, the everywhere wreckage. He remembers, too strongly for a memory so far past and so far future, the beautiful sun and silence of everyone at the funeral for this child who’s just been born.

He doesn’t even notice Peggy there until she has eased the phone from his ear. “I hear you’ve some good news for us, Howard,” she says, her tone cheerfully dry in a way Steve can’t manage just now. He leans against the bureau and places his thumb on the inside of her wrist, even though he knows that it means the pulse he’s feeling is most likely his own.

Once she’s had her turn to be exuberantly hollered at, the story told lovingly all over again with little additions (Jarvis’s hurried trip back to the house to find the pre-purchased cigars, the little tip Howard had dropped for the nurses to make sure they didn’t go running to the papers), she asks when they should plan to come up and see the baby.

“Come up next weekend, if you can manage it,” says Howard. “Bring the kids! Well, maybe don’t bring them, but park them with Dr. and Mr. Barnes and bring yourselves over.”

“And you’ve confirmed with Maria that she won’t mind?” Peggy asks. “It’s all likely a bit overwhelming between the birth and caring for a newborn, without adding the stress of entertaining.”

“I bet the Jarvises will be over the moon to see you,” Howard says, either not having heard or choosing to ignore her.

“I see I’ll be checking directly with your better half when she’s had an opportunity for some well-deserved rest,” Peggy says with a slight sigh, and then her voice softens. “And, truly, congratulations again, Howard.” She looks up at Steve’s still and somber face. “From all of us.”

Peggy covers it well, but she always needs a moment to settle in around babies when they’re this young. Steve doesn’t technically have much more practice than she does: he’d held Bucky’s kids at this age - mostly Libby; Davy wasn’t born until they’d moved back to DC - but even Emma was a toddler by the time she came into their lives, which means that he doesn’t have much day to day experience. Still, he knows without being asked that Peggy needs him to step up, so when Maria offers to let them hold the baby, he puts out his arms.

Tony is light and sleepy against him, with only a vague suggestion of dark hair. His mouth works at the air a little, dreamily, crusty suggestions of milk at the corners. Maria fed him just before they came. Steve rocks him a bit.

“He’s a sweet, sweet boy,” says Maria, fond and proud and fierce, even though Steve doubts the baby’s done anything to prove that, even though Maria looks tired through her natural elegance. There’s a bit of spit-up on the shoulder of the long, pale blue silk robe she’d greeted them in.

“You seem like you’re doing a great job,” Steve offers.

Maria, easing herself back to recline on the sofa, laughs. “Only because it’s four against one,” she says. “If I was doing this alone, I’d be crying along with him.”

Peggy stands from her settee and holds out graceful hands to take her turn. Steve passes the baby over gently, careful of his head. Tony makes a cranky little cry despite the precautions, but returns to sleep as Peggy begins to rock him rhythmically.

“He’s absolutely darling,” she tells Maria. “Or at least doing a very good impression at the moment.”

Maria says, “I’m glad you think so,” and Steve can see the sweet canniness to her smile that had once convinced him that she could handle Howard. “Because I—We—Howard and I have a request for the two of you.”

“What?” he asks warily, but just then the door opens, and Howard enters the sitting room. Peggy turns her back, holding the baby away from the sudden draft and the cloud of pollen Howard brings in with him clinging to his suit jacket.

“You didn’t start without me, did you?” he asks his wife, striding over to her.

She takes his hand and replies, “You’re only lucky that I didn’t - you promised to be home before they even arrived and I’ve been throwing the child at them as a distraction to cover for you.”

Howard bends to kiss her cheek. “You’re a very good woman,” he tells her, then goes to shake Steve’s hand and wrestle Peggy for a turn to hold the baby.

This turns out to be a poor idea: Tony makes his opinion of all of their antics very well known, and finally Maria takes the baby back herself and calls Ana to put him in the nursery.

“She means our room,” Howard says. “Spent months choosing the paint and just the right books, tracked down all the baby equipment in the world, but she can’t stand to have him on his own.”

“Volunteering to carry him back and forth a dozen times a night, then?” Peggy asks innocently. “How very helpful of you, Howard.” Maria and Steve snicker as Howard busies himself pouring coffee from the tray Jarvis had left on the side table for their refreshment. (No one bothers to tell him that it was put out when Steve and Peggy arrived and is now room-temperature at best.)

“Well,” says Maria, shifting over to let her husband sit beside her. “As I was saying before the interruption, we have something to ask you.”

“We’d like you to be Tony’s godparents,” Howard says, serious for once, although he ruins it immediately by pulling a horrible face after taking a sip of lukewarm coffee. He puts his cup on the table and tries to recover. “Be his guardians if there’s ever a need.”

Peggy glances over at Steve, who has settled himself to her right. She’d speculated that this was why the Starks had been so eager for them to visit in person, but Steve had insisted that they were simply new parents looking to show off their offspring and that there were surely other people who would be better suited to such a role.

There’s a reason he usually doesn’t argue with Peggy’s hunches.

“I’m honored. Truly,” says Peggy, striving to make clear the sincerity in her voice rather than the fact that she’s stalling. “I’m sure that we both are.”

“Of course we are. And I’m grateful that you would want to trust us with something like this.” Steve leans forward. “But are you sure we’re the right choice? We don’t live close, and things can get a little busy around our place. Maybe someone more local, someone who can offer him more time than we can really promise - plus, if you’re serious about the godparents business, someone who’s actually religious - maybe that would be better. Jarvis and Ana would probably be—”

“Too worn out for that sort of thing.” Maria reaches forward and covers his clasped hands with hers. “This is exactly why we wanted it to be you. You held him for two minutes and you’re already thinking of what’s best for him.”

“Bucky,” Steve tries, one last time. “Buck and Layla—”

But Howard interrupts now, bringing a triumphant hand down on the table. “Didn’t I tell you that he’d be modest about it?” he says to Maria, then turns to Steve and says, “It’s you, pal. The two of you - the smartest, most capable woman I know, who’s already proven she can handle a Stark, and the best thing I ever—The best father in the world - there’s no one better.”

“So?” asks Maria with quiet hope, and it is clear that at least some part of her has registered Steve’s hesitation in a way that Howard hasn’t. She lets go of Steve’s hands and sits back against the couch again, although her expression is still kind. “Will you do it?”

Steve knows without even looking at Peggy that it is his choice and she will have his back either way. He thinks of Tony as he knew him, lost and brilliant and bold, friend and adversary. He thinks of tiny, fragile Tony as he held him just now, unformed and entire. He thinks about Tony’s daughter who Steve never got to hold at that age, who never got to place a grandchild in her father’s arms.

Maybe this time around.

They excuse themselves soon after, Maria clearly worn out and hanging on by the barest threads of her hostess smile. Peggy goes to speak with the Jarvises about joining them in seeing Angie’s new show tonight (“Come now, Mr. Jarvis, there’s no Benny Goodman these days to stop you from enjoying an evening out”) while Howard walks Steve down to the foyer.

“Any chance—” Howard starts, and even though his tone isn’t wheedling or sly the way it usually is, Steve knows what he is going to ask. “Any chance you’ll give me a hint about the future of it all?”

“Howard, you know that I—”

“Sure, sure, I’ve heard it all before. But just this once, tell me if things turn out. For him.”

It’s a selfish bit of manipulation, but a parental one too: “How will my child grow up? How can I protect them from the harm that is in store?” Did such thoughts ever come to the other Howard, the one who was caught up in weapons and cold war and past victories, who seemed to have been gone even when there, cruel and disappointed in a way that led only to more disappointment? Had he showed this sort of wonder and worry in the beginning only to let it fade?

“I can’t tell you things like that,” he says, driving unyieldingly forward over Howard’s protest. “But as a father, I’ll tell you this: you need to take time with him.”

Howard laughs. “Steve, I’m sure I’ll have a few minutes to catch a ball once he actually starts being able to control his own hands.”

Steve shakes his head. “Not just that.” He doesn’t know where the idea comes from or if it will fix anything, but he says it anyway. “You should take a day off every week. One day, to give the rest of them a break and so you can spend time getting to know him.”

“I don’t think there’s much to know about him yet.” Howard laughs again, but there’s an edge to it now, the laugh of a man who isn’t accustomed to interventions into his business. Steve questions if there would be a laugh at all if it wasn’t him, or perhaps Peggy, saying it.

“If you don’t start now,” Steve predicts, “you never will. And, sure, at the beginning you’d be missing sleeping and diapers and crying - things I never got with my kids - but soon it’ll be first steps and first words and first day of college. The time goes fast, Howard, faster than you can believe. You asked for advice, and there’s mine: spend a day out of the office and taking care of your son.”

“Not exactly a convenient time,” Howard says brusquely. “You were the one who said I should throw those AGU characters a bone and give the keynote, and then the whole thing went off between the ones who are saying the planet’s going to explode if we don’t do something and the ones who say the planet’s going to explode even if we do something. Most of them say it’s getting too hot, but then there are the ones who say the problem is cold. And of course there are the ones who say it’s not a problem at all. I’m starting a whole new division to try to straighten things out, so I’m not sure that all those expert scientists I just hired are going to take too kindly to my kicking my feet up for a whole day.”

“You’re in charge. And you did just say that they’re the experts,” Steve reminds him, then tries a different tack. “And who knows? Your boy could be the next expert if you’re around to help him.”

That seems to strike something in Howard. “As if he’d ever be an egghead like that.” He looks irately Steve and adds, “And didn’t I tell you he’s already a genius? Aced everything the doctors threw at him. That’s genetics, pal.”

“So,” Peggy asks as they begin making their way back to Bucky’s. Jarvis had offered to drive them, but they’d declined. “Attempting to engineer fatherhood now, are we?”

“He didn’t do a very good job the first time around,” Steve says.

She looks at him, gentle but shrewd. “And do you expect he’ll actually make the time as you suggested? I believe Howard loves Maria, but since they were married he spends as much time in the office as ever. Perhaps more, now that he doesn’t need to excuse himself to charm the next starlet in the pack.”

Steve shrugs. “I don’t know if he’ll listen, or if it will change things, or if it might make it all worse. But I know I had to try something.”

With a fond sigh but no surprise, she says, “Of course you did.” They continue walking even as are separated for a moment by a tour group taking up the sidewalk, Peggy moving in toward the wall and Steve stepping off the curb into the street. When they rejoin each other, she twines her fingers with his. “I’m sure you feel a particular responsibility too, now that we’ve been named godparents.”

Steve sighs himself. “Well, we’ll see how that goes.”

“What do you mean?” She looks up at him. “They sounded quite firm in their intentions, if you’ll recall.”

“I know that,” Steve replies. “But you might end up changing your mind and sabotaging the whole deal.”

She pulls away. “Steve Rogers, I would do no such thing!” He laughs; sometimes he likes to be reminded that beneath the spy and the director and the mother, there’s the boarding school girl who kept secrets on her word of honor and considered welching a criminal offense.

“You just wait,” he says. “I have the feeling that no matter what I try, some things can’t be avoided - and Tony Stark’s personality might be one of them.”

“That’s no reason to malign me,” she says, settling back against him though clearly still touchy. “I do have some fortitude. I did help bring up Rose, after all.”

They pause at a cross street to wait for the stoplight. Steve glances up at the clearing sky, a brilliant May blue emerging. “You’re right. And so did I. Maybe I’ll actually have the upper hand this time around.”

Peggy tells him airily, “Well, I perhaps wouldn���t go that far. When have you ever with the children?” and laughs when he glares down at her.

The light changes and, clasped hands still together, they step off the curb and cross onward.

More chapters here

#Steggy fic #Steggy #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #things left behind fic

[prettylex]

All You’ve Got To Do Is Reach Out For It (SL with @LeavingMyMarck)

Levi: -It had been a long time since I’d found myself sitting at the window of an airplane, much less a private jet staring at the tops of the clouds as they passed by. Lexi and I had been through a lot in the past two years and several odd months, but it had struck me a few weeks ago that the two of us hadn’t had the opportunity to take a trip together in the entire time that we’d been married. Every single day of our lives together had been spent in Las Vegas, and it had been such a contrast to the rest of my life where I’d had a hard time staying put in one place for more than a few weeks without wanting to travel. 

Lexi and Lizzie had been the reason for that. With the two of them, I’d have been happy anywhere on earth for any amount of time. However, Lexi had a lot on her plate. She was a mom, a business owner, my wife, and everything that came along with all of that. Now, with things moving on well with Ashlee managing the club, Lizzie being a toddler, and the two of us having things going as smoothly as possible, I could figure out a way to get her out of Vegas. 

I knew she had a passport. It was something the two of us had discussed at one point or another during our relationship. I could easily have taken her several places. I had a home in Spain. I knew a lot of other places in Europe and Asia where I could have whisked her off for a visit, but for some reason, the place I most wanted to show her was where everything began. 

I’d been born in England, even though I’d spent much of my life traveling around with my parents from university to university and much of my adult life flying to whatever country struck my fancy next. Back in those days, it had made sense for me to buy a jet, though I’d had no occasion to use it during the last couple of years. It was still at my disposal in storage at McCarran International Airport. All it took to get things into motion were a few quick calls to arrange for a pilot and to make sure Ashlee was going to be able to handle things on her own while we were away and to arrange for Lizzie to spend her nights with August and Ashlee after spending her days in the daycare at the club as she was accustomed to. 

Once everything was set into place, I took it upon myself to pack for Lexi since I’d decided I wanted to surprise her with the destination. The weather in England was wildly variable at this point of the year. The danger of rain was present every single day, no matter what point of the year we arrived, but in the late winter and early spring, the temperature was going to be unpredictable at best. That meant, I was going to have to make sure she was prepared for whatever weather was coming as well as whatever situation our trip might find us in. At a minimum, we were going to the manor that had been in my family for the last ungodly amount of years. I also planned to take her around the area and to London and show her the city that was closest to my home. All that had been left to do was to surprise her with the fact that I was taking her on a trip. 

We hadn’t gotten a honeymoon. It wasn’t something to regret. It was just a matter of the circumstances that we’d gotten married under. Everything had been fast. It had all been a surprise and the best one of my life at that. I wanted to spend a week or so with just her, just the two of us with nothing else to get in the way.  She was at my side on the couch, glancing out the window every so often, though I could tell she was nervous about where we were going, especially since it was a ten-hour flight between Vegas and London. I reached out to slide my arm around her shoulder, pulling her in closer to me as I stole a kiss from my wife’s lips. We were due to land soon. The ocean had melted into land, and I knew from the ground below that we were drawing closer to the city, though I didn’t know if Lexi was going to know where we were until we’d arrived. The jet was already starting to come down out of the air and draw closer to what must have been the airport approaching below us.

Leaning in to whisper close to her ear as I let my lips drift over her bare skin I paused to make sure she knew the most important fact about everything that had happened between the two of us.- I love you, Darling Girl. 

Lexis: {I was nervous. To say the least. I wasn’t sure how to handle Levi telling me we were going on a trip. It made every nervous tick inside my body want to go insane. Getting on a plane with no destination had been an experience. At least, I didn’t know the destination. I shouldn’t have been surprised when we pulled up to the private terminal. I knew all about Levi’s life before I came into it. He had spent most of it travelling the world. And I knew he had more money than I could comprehend. Of course, he had to have a plane. 

And I had had ten hours to think about the multitude of issues I was having. And I tried to keep the insecurity from coming out. Anything and everything that had happened on this plane was before me. It was a mantra that kept running through my head. I had to keep it going through my head or else I was going to go insane. I just had to remind myself that things were different now. Especially now that our daughter was in the picture. 

It was hard to believe that she was almost two. It had been a small surprise to see her grow up. She was a tiny version of me. It was something her father loved. It was the one thing he had been hoping for from the moment she was born. He wanted her to look like her mother. But it was her voice that I was in love with. All the time she spent around her father meant that she had absolutely picked up on his accent. I was a little concerned that she would have a blend of a British and American accent, but it seemed like she was determined to sound like her Daddy.

But leaving her for a week was stressful. I knew Ashlee could take care of her. She wasn’t going to disrupt her schedule too much. When Ash was in the club, Lizzie would be down in the day care. At night, Lizzie would be spoiled by Ashlee and August. They were a pair like Levi and I. But it was how I knew those two would work.

But as we finally came close to our destination, I felt myself lean into Levi a bit. The softly whispered words of love and Darling Girl made me realize that this was going to be okay. I was still his wife and nothing had changed. But I felt my eyes go wide as a clear view of London started to appear below us. I had almost expected us to go to Spain. It was the house Levi talked about most often. I didn’t even know he had a place in London. But it was something I wanted to see more than anything.} You brought me to London? You’re taking me to your house in London? Like where you got your accent from and everything?

Levi: -I laughed softly at the response. I hadn’t known if she’d recognize London right away, though it had more than its fair share of landmarks that could be used to identify the city. I knew what a fan she was of my accent. She loved even more that our daughter was picking it up with the words that she’d first started to babble and then began to string together into sentences and thoughts. It made sense because of how much time the two of us spent together, even though her mother was around just as much. It just amused me that she was so excited to see the place where I’d earned it. 

I couldn’t help smiling, though I refused to take my lips off her skin for even a moment. I did move to give her a chance to see out of the window. I’d been here before, spent vast swaths of my life here and nearby, but there was something absolutely intoxicating about being able to share it with my wife for the first time. The thought alone of bringing my wife anywhere was something I’d never thought I’d been able to say, because I was fairly certain I was going to be living my life alone. At least that was until she walked into my line of vision at the club. She was the one thing that changed my entire world into something I’d never could have imagined for myself. It was absolutely intoxicating to be able to bring her here.- 

Well, we’re landing in London since that’s the closest airport, but we’re headed to my house just outside of the city, as a matter of fact. Though it’s not too far from the city, so we can always come in to shop or have dinner if you get tired of the country. 

-I knew I was babbling a little, but I was nervous about how she was going to react to fully understanding the news of where we were going.-

Lexis: {I felt myself stiffen as Levi said we were going to London because it was the closest airport. I had the strongest feeling I wasn’t going to react well to where we were going. Because I knew how Levi was raised. I knew he was a trust fund baby. Which meant the probability of him growing up in a bigger house was strong. And the moment he said we were going to the country, I knew the truth.

I wasn’t entirely sure how to react, though. This was something I hadn’t thought about. I should have, though. Levi was an only child. Who else would own the house he had grown up in? There was no one else. The thought made me a little sad, though. Levi was really the only one left in his family. And I didn’t know anything about mine. It made me start to feel disconnected from everything. The feeling of floating almost. But as the plane touched down, I felt myself start to shake. I wasn’t entirely sure if I could handle this.

I took a small breath to try and gather my composure before I was standing off to the side while Levi gathered our bags. I hadn’t known where we were going, so I didn’t pack anything other than my essentials. Levi had said he would handle it. My voice started to shake as I stepped off the plane.} We’re going back to the house you grew up in? You brought me back to your home?

Levi: -I knew from watching the way she moved that things were starting to get to be too much for Lexis, and I was sorry for springing the surprise on her the way I had. I figured I owed her an explanation for all of this. It was a quick matter of getting our bags delivered to the car that was supposed to be waiting for us. The driver from the estate had come out to pick us up himself, which was going to be an entire other thing I was going to have to explain to Lexis as this week unfolded. I was nervous and a little embarrassed about everything she was going to see.

I’d grown up with money. I had it still, probably more than I was ever going to be able to spend in my entire life. It meant that I was free to do whatever I pleased with my time. It was the reason I was able to be in Las Vegas to begin with, the reason I was able to meet Lexi. But it was also the thing that made me different. Parts of me wanted to be like everyone else, and I definitely didn’t want my wife to be intimidated by any of what was about to happen. What I did want was to share at least some part of my life before her with her.

I walked over to my wife, sliding an arm around her to pull her into my side. - The car is ready for us. Thank you for coming with me. I thought we’d have a honeymoon since the two of us never got a chance to get away together when we were married. 

Lexis: You can blame your little Bunny for that, Levi. {The only thing I could do was shake my head. I wasn’t sure what I was walking into here. This was a different world. And it reminded me that we had come from two very different upbringings. I had nothing while Levi had the chance to have everything. I could have resented him for that fact once the two of us finally had the chance to talk after our marriage.

But now was a different story. This was the man that loved me in spite of the crippling OCD I struggled with daily. He was the perfect father to our daughter. He knew what he wanted in life, and he was taking it. While it was slightly intimidating, I couldn’t have been prouder of who my husband was. And I knew this trip wasn’t about flaunting what he had grown up with in my face. It was about showing me something from his past. He wanted to show me his life, even if I didn’t have that to show him.

As I settled into the car, I tried to stop my hands from shaking. It was going to be a lot, though. There was no denying that. As much as I wanted to ignore everything that was going on around me, I still needed to be prepared for what I was walking into. And Levi knew that I was going to have questions. I always did.} I know it’s different. I know it’s not what I’m expecting. But to be fair, I am always going to feel intimidated by what you have. Even if I know that I could have it, too. Just knowing you’ve always had it is a little strange for me.

Levi: -I could understand the culture shock that Lexi would be going through. It was still a bit of a shock for me transition into this life when I left other places. It was different, and it might have been something that I’d grown up with for most of my childhood, but that didn’t make it any less of a transition. I just hoped that it wasn’t going to be too much for her. I always had the house in Spain as a backup plan if she decided this wasn’t her proverbial cup of tea. 

Part of me wanted to correct her for thinking that she could have it too, when in reality, everything that I had was hers, even if she didn’t ask for it. But I knew what she meant. All she would have had to do was say the word, and I’d have moved mountains to make sure Lexi got whatever she wanted. She knew that was true. I just wanted to show her that part of my life, and to include her in it as much as I possibly could.

I could see her hands shaking as we pulled out of the airport and into the busy London streets. Traffic could be bad here during the day, but it was a quick enough trip to get out of the city. Most of the people who lived here didn’t even own cars and wound up walking or taking public transport everywhere that they went. Only those who wound up leaving the city for business or pleasure even bothered with trying to drive. The house was far too far to walk and just outside of the reach of any of the trains or buses that moved around the city, so a car was the only option to get there. Besides, it gave me a chance to have her to myself for a moment before we got there. 

I reached out, threading my fingers between Lexi’s to still the shaking before I kissed the palm of her hand.- 

Love, if any of this is too much or doesn’t feel right you just have to say the word and we can make something else happen. I just wanted you to have every part of me. You already have it even if you don’t realize. Maybe I’m just trying to show you that. 

Lexis: {I knew what he was telling me. I was as part of his life as he was mine. Everything I had worked for was his. It was never going to stop being mine, but it was going to be his just as much as it was mine. And I needed to come to terms with the idea that he had houses all over the world. Although, to be fair, this wasn’t just his home. This was his childhood home. If I wanted to know anything about him as a child, this was going to be the place that I learned it. I just needed to get used to the fact that this was what he was born into.

I knew we had a bit before we got to the house. If I knew anything, I knew that Levi grew up outside of the city. As much as I wanted to believe that he was a city boy, he really wasn’t. He was so much more content with open space. It was why I knew to buy him the bike I had gotten him for Christmas. But there were times I double guessed myself. I always wondered if this was the place I was supposed to be. But then I realized that I was just as much at a loss as he was. And we were made for each other. It was the only way that our relationship worked.

I could only relax into the seat of the car as I tried to gather my thoughts. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was supposed to do with him sometimes. I didn’t know how to accept the fact that he had all of this. And I knew that if I just opened my mouth to talk to him, he’d reassure me of all of it. I just needed to be brave enough to have that conversation with him. And if I didn’t say anything, I was just going to drown in a pool of self doubt.}

I know that, Levi. I know it just as much as I know that Lizzie is your daughter. But that doesn’t exactly make it easy for me to handle. You know me better than I know myself most days. And sometimes I wonder if I have actually given you everything you have given me. I mean, yes. I gave you a reason to stay in one place at a time. But I also haven’t been able to give you much about my past. I don’t have places like this. I can’t show you where I grew up simply because those places don’t exist for me. I mean, I’m sure I could go buy those houses. But at the same time, they are from a point in my life that I don’t want to go back to. And I don’t want you to run because I can’t or won’t show you those parts of myself. So I’m just scared of you wanting me to show you that part of me.

Levi: -I gently rested my fingers under my wife’s chin. I wanted her to look at me when I spoke to her because I needed her to know this before we turned into the drive that led back towards the house I spent a good deal of my childhood in. I knew hers hadn’t been idyllic. It was a part of her life that she didn’t want to go back to or even think about. And I understood that, even if it wasn’t the experience I’d had.-

Love, I’m here for the future, not the past, and as for you giving me as much as I’ve given you, well, you’ve gone above and beyond that. You didn’t have to marry me. You didn’t have to give me Lizzie or anything else. You gave me a life I wasn’t even insightful enough to see for myself until you were sitting across from me. So don’t worry about the past. 

-I knew where we were in our trip from rote memory and of course now was the moment the house fully came into sight. It was easy to forget how large it was or how old when I wasn’t thinking about it. I just wasn’t sure how much being here was going to change Lexi’s impression of who she had married.  I could see the slightly shocked expression on her face as we pulled down the drive-

Just promise not to think I’m an entirely spoiled rich kid from now on. 

Lexis: {There was a lot I could say to him about that last statement. I knew who he was. I knew the man I had married. And that man was anything but spoiled. I still wasn’t back to the club full time. I’d come in from time to time if I was feeling up to it, but I spent most of my time with Lizzie in the nursery. Levi didn’t begrudge me of that. I had taught him how to run my club without any issues. And he was amazing at it. He worked hard for what I had built. He knew my club and the girls meant everything to me. He wasn’t going to let it fall apart because I wanted to be a mother.

It reminded me of how we were raising Lizzie. She was going to have the same opportunities her father had when he was growing up. But we both agreed that she was never going to be a spoiled rich kid. While she had opportunities, she was going to be raised the way I would have been raised. She needed to understand that she wasn’t going to be able to have whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. Knowing we were on the same page in regards to raising her meant everything to me. Nothing had turned into a fight so far. And it was a blessing.

But I was still in shock as we pulled up to what Levi called a house. It wasn’t a house. It was a mansion. What we lived in back in Las Vegas was a house. This was so much bigger. I felt my heart drop to my stomach for a second. This was exactly what I had been expecting when Levi had told me he grew up in a place with nannies and servants. That just wasn’t the lifestyle I was used to. And I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it once we were inside.}

These are the same people who have seen you grow up? They’ve known you for longer than I have. And they’re going to hate me because I’m just a 26 year old woman who conned a 41 year old man into marrying her and having a kid with her. Just so she could have his money. They’re going to want me gone.

Levi: -The car came to a stop out front, though I wasn’t going to force Lexi to get out of it before she was ready. I knew she was going to be nervous walking into this, but I didn’t think she’d be prepared for what anything was really like in there. Most of the time I wouldn’t have given a second thought to what anyone thought about my relationship with Lexis. She and I were beyond what some people could wrap their heads around, but she was far from a gold digger.- 

Love, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, though I think you might be surprised. The staff here aren’t my parents. They might have had something negative to say about any and everything I did that they didn’t have a direct hand in. The staff is another story. The one’s who have been here since I was a child would be happy to see me doing something that made me happy. 

Besides, I’m sure everyone is going to think that I’m a lecherous old man with a beautiful young wife that is so far out of my league. 

-I brought her hand to my lips, pressing a kiss into the back of it as I drew myself in closer.- 

We don’t have to get out of the car until you’re ready to go inside, Bunny. 

Lexis: {A new wave of panic coursed through my veins as he called me Bunny. I knew it wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. Normally, Bunny was a term that gave me the space to think. But I wasn’t entirely sure how the staff here was going to react to me walking around the house calling Levi Sir. And that was the only response allowed when he called me Bunny.

But it was also a reminder that I could ask for boundaries and rules if I needed them. And if it was the best thing to keep me from spiraling into a mess, he was going to give me what I needed until we knew things were going to be okay.

Choking back the hysterical laughter that wanted to bubble out, I couldn’t stop the most ridiculous of all the questions to pop from my lips. I knew the answer, of course. But I also knew that I needed to hear it. I needed to know for some ungodly reason.} You don’t have a playroom here, right? The staff has no idea you like to tie girls up and hang them from the ceiling before fucking them until they can’t see straight, right.

{I could see by the look on his face that he wasn’t expecting that question. But it was the low rumble of Lexis that made me realize I had made a mistake in cursing. It was one of Levi’s weird rules. If I was just in my normal headspace, he thought it was endearing. But the moment I stepped into Bunny, all forms of curses needed to be wiped from my vocabulary unless Sir had given me permission to be free with the words.}

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. But I need to know if I’m the only girl that has ever been here. As your wife and your submissive. It’s a weird hang up. I am aware. But you know how I am. And you know how I feel. Even if we’ve been married for years. I’m still not sure of my place in your world. 

Levi: -I decided to let go of the fact that she’d cursed. I didn’t know why it had bothered me in that moment other than the fact that I’d just referred to her as Bunny. We weren’t in the playroom, and the truth was that I didn’t have one here. I’d been back from time to time, though I never spent any extended amount of time here since I’d left to go to university. 

I also knew that it was important to her that certain parts of my life had belonged solely to her. I hadn’t given this part of me to anyone before now, and I had no problem telling her as much- 

You’re the only person I’ve ever brought here in my entire life, Love. You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to share this part of me with, just like you’re the only one who I ever wanted to be a permanent part in my life. That’s why we’re here. Though, I’ll reassure you all that you might need to make sure you know it. 

-We’d started things so suddenly when we had met. Both of us still needed some time to adjust to things from time to time. It was something I understood better than most people would have. She was my wife, though, no matter what else might happen between the two of us. That meant more to me than any other connection I’d had with anyone else on earth besides my own daughter.- 

Lexi: {I let out the breath of air as Levi told me I was the only person he had ever brought home. And that brought up a new round of questions. But they didn’t matter. This house was just for me. It was the one place he held closest to his chest. I knew that. This place was different than the house in Spain. I still hadn’t been there, but this was more special. This house was more than that.

As I looked out from the car, I had a sudden vision of Lizzie running around the yards with Whisper and Rebel on her heels. This was a place we could raise her. She could learn here and grow here in a different way than she could in Vegas. It wasn’t Levi’s intention, but I knew the truth. This could be a place for our daughter.

I felt the tear slide down my cheek as I started to get choked up. There was a lot going through my head about this place. Despite every feeling of inadequacy I was feeling, I knew the truth. This place was perfect. It was exactly who Levi was. And it was a matter of learning that side of my husband.} We should have brought your little Bunny. She would have been in heaven here. And the dogs. They’d have the space to just run and get their energy out. We need to come back with them, Levi. Soon.

Levi: -I reached up, running my thumb across Lexi’s cheek to wipe away the tear that had started to drift down from the corner of her eye. I realized she was going through a lot of emotions at the moment, and I was going to let her go through whatever she needed. She was right about the fact that this place was perfect for Lizzie and for the dogs. I had every intention of bringing them here as soon as we could. I had just wanted this week for Lexi and myself.

I leaned in closer and brushed a kiss across her lips-  

We can bring them here any time you’d like. All you have to do is say the word. I just thought the two of us could use a chance to get away from everything and have some time alone for now.  

-My hand remained on her jawline, my thumb rubbing lightly along the line of her cheekbone for now. I loved Lexi more than I could put into words. I just hoped I could show her while we were here how much she meant to me.-

Lexi: {There was something about the way he was touching me. He was cherishing me. I knew what was going through his mind. He was at a loss for words. He wanted to tell me how much I meant to him, how much he loved me. We were the same person in that regard. We both knew it was a miracle we had found each other. It was a gift we both cherished. And putting that into words was not the easiest thing to do.

But I knew the only thing I could do to show him how much he meant to me. He was the only man I was ever going to give my heart to. He was the only person I was ever going to have a child with. He was the only person that I would share myself with. And that was something he needed to know.

I couldn’t stop myself from leaning in closer to him and taking another kiss from his lips. This was a little different from the kiss he had given me. While his was soft and almost innocent, mine was just a touch more heated. It was a sign to him about what I wanted. And in the moment, I wanted nothing other than him. I needed to feel him. I needed to be reminded that I was his and he was mine.}

Levi: -I couldn’t help letting out the soft growl that boiled up in my throat when she deepened the kiss between us. My hands went to her waist to pull her into my lap and settle her in place. I didn’t care about what was going on in the rest of the world for that moment, just the fact that she was in my arms. I was just going to let this happen for a moment, though I had every intention to drag her into the house and up to my bed as soon as I could. I just wasn’t going to interrupt this unless I had to. 

My fingers curled around her waist, holding her as close as I could. It was good to have her this close, but I wanted more. I wanted all of her that I could get, and judging from the way her body pressed hungrily into mine, she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I didn’t want to break the kiss between us, but as soon as one of us pulled away to take a short inhale I murmured against her lips- 

Mrs. Marck, I think I need to get you upstairs and into bed as soon as possible. 

Lexi:  {I understood the moment he said we needed to get into a bed. Levi was possessive of me. And it was something that turned me on to no end. But he was not an exhibitionist. There was no way he was going to sleep with me if there was any way someone could see us. I had figured that out the few times I had tried to seduce him in my office. He would just shake his head before spanking me and telling me to take care of our daughter.

But he was right. We needed to get into a bed as fast as possible. I needed him in a way I hadn’t needed him in a very long time. But that was the thing with the two of us. There was always a hunger for the other. Our nights were spent wrapped up in each other, expressing what words couldn’t. As Levi opened the door to the car, I slipped from his lap and adjusted my skirt. I had wanted to make a good impression with the people I was going to be meeting today. They were the people Levi considered his family. But that was going to have to wait.

But it struck me as he climbed out of the car just how handsome he was. He was comfortable in his clothes. Jeans, and a button up under a sweater. Something he didn’t wear for anyone other than me. I couldn’t stop the grin and giggle that slipped from my lips as Levi swept me up into his arms and pressed another kiss to my lips.} Please, Mr. Marck?

Levi: -I could only grin against her lips, reluctantly letting her go to grab her hand and lead her through the doors of the house. I wasn’t worried about the bags. Those would be brought in before the two of us even realized what was going on. Right now, I had one focus. I needed to remind her how much I loved her. I threaded my fingers between hers, joining our hands, though I didn’t want to remove my other arm from around her waist for the moment. Pressing another long kiss to her lips, I leaned down to lift her off her feet and scoop her up into my arms.- 

Come on, Love. I’ve got a few things to show you. 

-I knew my way around the house well enough to navigate my way up to the room that had always been mine in the house. I’d called ahead days ago to make sure everything was going to be ready, and I wasn’t disappointed when I finally got the both of us through the door. Somehow, on our entire path through the foyer, up the stairs, and down the hall, we hadn’t managed to run into anyone, but if I knew the staff around here, that was on purpose. We weren’t going to see any of them until we wanted to. 

It was a simple enough matter to lower her onto the bed without even breaking the kiss I’d landed on her lips the moment I closed the door behind us.- 

Lexis: {I wasn’t sure what it was about being here. But I felt more connected to Levi than I ever had. It was like we were finally putting the entire puzzle together. And being in this house was going to give me more answers to questions that were always on the tip of my tongue. But those questions were driven away the moment we were locked away in a room.

Levi knew how to pull my focus away from what was going on around me. And this was exactly when I needed to feel. I needed to feel the way his hands felt along my body. I was extremely happy with the decision to wear a skirt for the flight. It gave Levi access to my skin faster than if I had been wearing pants, like I almost had. And with every touch of his fingers against my legs, I felt what he was always trying to tell me. He was telling me that I was it for him. There was never going to be another person in this world that he would want the way he wanted me. And it was the same for me.

I couldn’t stop the soft moans that slipped through my lips as I tried to take a breath. But the way Levi slowly moved his hands from my legs to my sides made every intention he had evident. His hands worked the top I had been wearing off, leaving me in a barely there bra that barely held my chest in. It was the look in his eyes that made me grin. I could only watch as he took in every inch of me. The soft growl that filled the room was a turn on. And it was with a soft gasp as Levi leaned back down to nibble on my skin that I finally let myself go completely.}

Levi: -Lexi was intoxicating every time that I got to see her, even when it was just her curled up on the couch with a dog half in her lap, but there was something about her being here in my old bedroom and stretched out across my bed that was something else entirely. There hadn’t been another person in this room with me since I was a teenager, and even then it hadn’t been a girl, much less a woman who I had any kind of feelings for. She was everything to me, and right now, seeing her stretched out underneath me was too great a temptation to bear. 

There was no way I was going to be able to keep my hands or my lips off of her. Dragging my lips and teeth along the curves of her body, I took my time in exploring her, almost as if it were the first time I’d gotten to experience her like this. Maybe it was. There was something about having her here in this room that had been such an integral part of my childhood and growing up. She was a part of everything for me, and there had never been anyone else that could have fit into every single one of those niches for me.

My hands were quick to divest Lexis of even the last remnants of the clothing that she still had on. My own followed, leaving a heap of forgotten fabric on the floor before I dove back in running a hungry line of kisses up along the line of her leg and thigh towards her pussy as I enjoyed the sight and feeling of her writhing beneath my attentions. I wasn’t ever going to be able to get enough of Lexis. I didn’t know if she understood how much of a drug she could be to me at times, and I was constantly craving my next hit of her in whatever way I could get it, whether that meant simply having her curled into my side while we did something as simple as watching a movie together or something like this. I was hers as much as she was mine, and I intended to show her that in whatever way I could manage.-

#AllYouveGotToDoIsReachOutForIt

[ohboywonder]

Suddenly There - A Narnia Fanfiction

Chapter Seven: Lessons 

words: 2503 | AO3 warnings: none

Content: Suddenly Joyce stumbles into Narnia. Meeting the four Pevensies, she gets taken in and care of. A tension builds up between her and Edmund, although Joyce is clueless that he himself is a King, too. Peter though seems interested in her too and just as Lucy and Susan found out that there’s no way back to England, an attack puts Joyce to the test and she has to proof that Asland picked out the right person to bring back peace to Narnia.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - ...

“I heard a rumour!”, a voice sang right into my ear while I was sitting at the table in the dining hall. I was having a lonely breakfast because I had gotten up quite late. Nightmares and bad dreams of home had kept me up all night and I was not in the best mood. Phileas had a night shift and when I had left my room he had already been gone.

But on the other hand – I had made my way to the hall by myself without asking anyone for directions. It had taken me a while, but I’d made it.

As I now looked up, Lucy stood next to me. She was wearing a cream-coloured dress with dark red laced rims and elaborate embroidery. No matter what she wore, it always looked stunning on her.

“Good morning to you too.”, I said and smiled back. It was hard to stay grumpy when Lucy smiled at one like she did now.

“I’m going to be your teacher!”, she screeched and sat down next to me. “Isn’t this exciting?”

“What will you teach me?”, I asked, eyebrows raised, and took the stiff napkin in my hands to clean them of any remaining breadcrumbs. Breakfast had been toast and porridge today, along with fruits and fresh milk. It was delicious, but it also reminded me of home. I started to wonder whether the fauns working in the kitchens were making an effort to cook British dishes to make the Royals feel at home. And then I asked myself if they felt the way I did and if it maybe hurt them more than it helped them.

“Manners!”, she said and for a second I wondered whether I had done anything wrong. Then I realised it was her subjects and I started to laugh, which made Lucy pout.

“Sorry”, I wheezed, trying d to get my breathing under control again. “I… it’s just so funny to imagine you teaching me manners when I thought you were the funniest of your siblings.”

“All right, I get your point.”, Lucy said and played with a curl of her brown hair. “But it’s not really hard. There are just some general rules on how you’re supposed to sit, stand and walk, who you’re allowed to talk to and who needs to talk to you first, where in a room you can stand and where you’re not supposed to be… All these small things and then we’ll go into behaviour at the banquet, which cutlery is used for which meal and-”

“Lucy”, I interrupted her. “Peter said I had four weeks to learn all of this. Not four years!”

That made her laugh. “You’ll be fine. I doubt anyone will pay much attention to you anyways.”

“Oy, that was rude!”, I said and poked her in her side, which made her giggle.

“Sorry, but, hey, stop it!”, she laughed and tickled me. Ten minutes later we were breathing heavily and my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. “I just meant”, Lucy tried again, “that there are other things that people will pay attention to, rather than someone they’ve never seen maybe using the wrong fork. But we’ll avoid this through practice. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t”, I said honestly. “With you as my teacher, everyone will notice how incredibly good I am with a fork.”

This made her laugh again.

Three hours later I had mastered the perfect curtsy. Also, I had learned how to address Lucy and her siblings in the correct way. My head was buzzing from the information that it had to take in. But it seemed like I was about to be rescued from my lesson.

Edmund knocked on the door and entered my chamber. The faun replacing Phileas, an older faun with dark curls and big horns, glanced into the room to check whether everything was all right and regained his posture in front of my door again, as Edmund closed the door behind him.

“Lu, you’re going to be late.”, he said and Lucy looked up at the grandfather clock in the corner of my room. This was followed by a heavy sigh. She put the books aside and rose to her feet, straightening out her skirt and smiled at me before turning towards Edmund.

“I nearly forgot because this was so much fun. Thanks for reminding me, Ed!” And with that she rushed through the door Edmund had just closed.

“Late for what?”, I asked and slowly turned around. The book, that I had been balancing on my head for the past ten minutes, fell down. Lucy had had a lot of criticism for my posture and wanted to fix it before, and I quote, “anyone would have to see you ruining a really beautiful dress with the way you stand”. This had been followed by the explanation that the dresses we wore every day, which I found insanely stunning already, were apparently only the ‘normal’ dresses. The extraordinary ones were reserved for balls, banquets and coronations. When these were the normal ones, I didn’t know whether I would be able to stand the beauty of the others. Edmund smiled at me, before he got on one knee to help me pick up all the books.

“She always has a court day”, he now answered my previous question while handing me a book, “where she’ll allow her subjects to come forth and ask for help or tell her about problems. If she can, she figures something out to help them. It’s always around this time a week.”

He handed me back my book and our fingers touched. This moment it was hard for me to breathe because my heart just skipped a beat. “Thanks.”, I stammered. For a moment it was quiet between us. “Well…”, I said, trying to say something instead of just staring at Edmund, “I guess that marks the end of my lessons for today?”

A grin spread out over his cheeks. “Oh, absolutely not. I’m here to pick you up for something else.”, he said and then bowed a little. “If I may, of course.”

A little surprised, I nodded. My heart was still fluttering, so my steps, when I followed him, where a little unsure. “More lessons?”, I asked while he held the door open for me. We passed the dark-haired faun and made our way through the corridors.

“Curiosity killed the cat, that was the saying, right?”, he asked me and I nodded surprised. I could imagine that sayings like these would slip your mind if not often used, but he remembered it. Even after ten years.

My thoughts pondered over which sayings he had kept after all this time as well and so I did not notice where we were going. “Where...?”, I started, but then we walked around a corner and I recognised the path from our earlier walk. “The… training grounds?”, I asked and looked through one of the high windows.

“Exactly. I wanted to show you something before we start your lesson. It’s because we still have some time before we can start.”, he said, his hands crossed behind his back, as usual.

“What’s this lesson on, out here?”, I wondered, as we stood on the grass again. Targets were erected, at least 100 yards away from where we stood, the grass was trimmed. Multiple weapons were on display. Nothing had changed. I could feel my spirits rise.

“Do you want to teach me how to handle bow and arrow? Or a crossbow?”, I asked excitedly but Edmund shook his head, a light smile still on his lips.

“Not yet. I think we can do that once you’ve mastered what I am actually supposed to teach you. But for now, just follow me.”

“You speak in riddles…”, I mumbled exhausted and looked around. “Then what are you supposed to teach me out here?”

“Not out here. But later I’m supposed to teach you how to dance.”, he said and stopped. “But since the musicians are still practicing, we can’t dance yet. And since the weather is beautiful, I wanted to show you something. A place that is very special to me.”

And with that he continued to walk over the soft grass towards where the world seemed to end, approaching the cliff. My mouth still hung open. I was supposed to dance?

With Edmund?

Oh, how delightful. This would not make my life any easier…

I sighed and followed him, my thoughts spiralling around the dance lessons that would inevitably follow. The closer I got, the more I could hear the ocean again. And then I saw that the meadow ended and steep ledge lead down right to the water. “Come on”, he said and waved me to follow him. Nearly hidden behind rocks and grass was a path. When we were here the first time I hadn’t even noticed.

“Wow”, I whispered and stepped closer to the edge. I then followed Edmund. The path led to a little cave just below the cliff. He stood close to the edge, pointing at something in the water.

Even without having to focus on anything Edmund wanted to show me, this sight was incredible. The cave was a little hole, completely hidden away from sight. If anyone would stand on the edge, they would not see if people would hide down here. Roots from the grass and bushes upwards were dangling from the top of the cave and on the rocky ground the feet could get a good grip.

“Can you see them?”, Edmund suddenly asked me and I looked up at him. He smiled and his hand pointed towards the water. I stepped a little closer. My gaze wandered over the waves, whose white crestwaves sparkled in the sun, following where Edmund was pointing. At first I couldn’t see anything other than the ocean and although it looked nothing like the stormy, grey waves of home, my heart grew heavy. The wind blew away my blond hair and I felt my eyes itching with tears.

“Mom and I always went to the sea during the summer.”, I suddenly said. Although this looked nothing like what I was used to, memories started to pull me back in. “We would collect the nicest pebbles and stones and tried to… to stack them as high as we could. Then… then the war came.”

I felt a tear running down my cheek and suddenly Edmund’s hand touched my shoulder and he squeezed it. “I can imagine. But look closer.”, he said and suddenly I spotted them.

I squinted a little and then I could see the bodies, the tails and the glistening hair, all pellucid. “Are those mermaids?”, I asked, absolutely taken aback.

“Naiads. Just like the Dryads, but… in the water.”, he said cleverly and smiled. “I like them. They remind me of home. My parents always took us to the sea, too.” His expression grew sadder, but he put on a brave smile.

“Do you ever get used to this? Being away without the possibility to get back?”, I asked, being reminded of my earlier thoughts.

“Not really”, he mumbled. The wind blew through his hair as well and I could see a few freckles on his nose and forehead.

“I’m sorry”, I said quietly. “It must be weird to talk to someone like me, being suddenly here and maybe, hopefully, going back when you got used to living here now.”

He chuckled lightly, facing the sea and crossing his hands behind his back again. “You never get accustomed to it, not really. Not me.”

I really wanted to say something. His face grew sadder again and his thoughts seemed to wander off. Then his expression grew grave and he turned around, waving me with him. He still seemed a little upset. “How good are you at horseback riding?”, he asked suddenly, maybe trying to change the topic, maybe trying to kill some more time, and with that, the peak into the life of the other was ended.

I got the answer to that question an hour later and it was: not good.

Horses are very majestic creatures. That’s at least what I always thought of them. They’re huge and fast and beautiful, but riding a horse is something entirely different. Especially if you’re supposed to ride on a sidesaddle – something I’d never done before. There were a million things one needed to concentrate on. The reins, your back, your feet, your hips, the horse’s step, the surroundings, yours arms and your fingers. Also, one should not constantly look down.

Edmund told me all these things, repeatedly. In a calm and slightly amused manner.

We were on the training grounds again, closer to the castle now. A couple of fauns had brought Edmund’s horse and one for me, saddled and ready. Edmund though had refused to ride himself, but he was holding the lunge line, and helped me with additional information and comments.

“Oh shit”, I cursed as I tried to brush a strand of my hair out of my eyes and hit myself in the face with the reins. That made Edmund laugh.

“Sorry? I should not swear so much.”

“What? No, that’s great. It’s so natural. It does not seem like you’re wearing a mask or put up a show. You’re simply yourself.”

“Yeah, what about it?”, I asked, sitting up straight again and monitoring the horse from above, trying to gain back my posture.

“It’s so unusual around here.”

When I dared to look away from my horse, I saw Edmund smiling at me. I felt my stomach drop a little, but it could as well have been the horse’s fault, because it used this moment of inattention bolted forwards and went into trot and then galloped straight forward. Since Edmund and I hadn’t discussed what to do in a situation similar to this, I shrieked and pulled the reins closer to my body, but not upwards. I froze and pressed my leg against the horse and leaned in the opposite direction, trying to not fall off.

“It’s all right”, I heard Edmund’s voice and suddenly his hand pulled on my reins, took them and then the horse… stopped. He was on his own horse, I can’t remember how he did it – how he got up there so fast, but the horses now stood next to each other and he looked at me, concerned.

“Are you all right?”

“I wish… shit, that was scary!”

And then, he giggled. “You’re right. Let’s get you off there now. We may try dancing now, what do you say?”

“Anything but this, please?”, I said and still could feel my heart beating in my throat.

He slid of his horse and held a hand out to me, a gentle smile on his lips, and when my hand touched his and our eyes met, I couldn’t help but feel a little warmer, a little safer, a little more like being in Narnia was not that bad after all.

#narnia #the chronicles of narnia #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #pevensie siblings #fauns #the golden age #high king peter #high king peter the magnificent #queen susan the gentle #king edmund the just #queen lucy the valiant #liv writes #narnia fic #narnia fanfiction #fanfiction #kings and queens of narnia #aslan

[yimlfc]

Day 4: (Mad)Road

Today I took some craziness with me to ride a free bike while bearing my huge backpack again in order to get to the bus station. I knew my back was fully covered by my sweat and that’s a sign pushing me fast forward.

This late morning was hot and tiring enough to put me to sleep. I got myself a traditional northern food called “Khao Soi” for breakfast.

While having my meal, I was going through google to figure out where I should go either a hippie town, Pai, or downtown of Mae Hong Son. Yet, I hadn’t made any decision before so I needed to do it right away as I was about to leave Chaing Mai. Well…One thing I forgot to tell you guys previously was my mom called me, probably a night before, and said she would love to join me in Mae Hong Son so I was like “Okay mom if you would love to…😉”

(In all actuality, I asked my parents about the trip but they were kind of busy and hadn’t confirmed yet, plus, none of my close friends was free as they already had their list to be done. So what should I do if I’m about to run out of time for holidays but I really want to go out? The answer is shaking off my fear, don’t give a hoot and go somewhere)

After weighing my preference, I ended up going to Pai. Later on, I walked into the station to buy a ticket and let my mom know we’re going to meet up in Pai. All too often, there was merely one seat left in the last row of a van. Felt like I won a lottery…

762 curves to Pai…

Let’s eat before you don’t feel like eating anything anymore

As I heard the reputation of the route from Chiang Mai to Pai, first off, I thought I could easily handle it because I didn’t think I would get car sick but when it came to hundreds of curves, my thought was quickly changed.

I started to get dizzy right after we finished everything at the pit stop (1.5 hrs away from the bus terminal) The driver drove a little bit fast as he got used to the route very well but that extremely made me feel uncomfortable, particularly when I was about to fall asleep and then my head hit against the window over and over again because he took a turn.

pray for me…

Actually, I must say this was kinda nice and fun ride due to a beautiful greenery and the challenging curves along the way.

Van company: Prempracha Lenght: 3-4 hours Price: 150 THB Pick up spot: Chiang Mai Provincial Arcade Bus Terminal

The driver dropped us off at the company’s office located on Pai walking street. I felt so relieved that I was still alive…

I got a grip and started to find out where the nearest bike rental shop was. It was not that hard to find one because there were pretty much in this little town. Eventually, I got a pink zoomer x to travel with me this time.

let’s gooooooo!!!

but wait where is my hostel…

I stood gawkily in front of the shop for a few minutes then the staff asked me where I wanted to go. I showed him a google map and he handed me a paper map back and explained the track…10 minutes later I was finally at the hostel.

I booked a bed at Spicy Pai backpackers for one night stay. Adorable rice paddies, beautiful scenery, and lovely style architecture were the reason why I chose this place. But I unexpectedly got some extra giveaways which were nice staffs and cool friends.

I settled down in my dorm room for a while to rest a little bit and make a plan for today. One bed was already occupied which belonged to Lauren, my one and only roommate, she’s a cool British girl who quits her job to travels and does the volunteer works in Thailand and Asia. Really awesome 

Well back to my plan…my first stop was “Pai Canyon”. This place is about 8km far from downtown along the road to Chiang Mai. After I parked my bike, I had to walk up around 5-10 mins to reach the top. I pretty enjoyed a panoramic view up there, a light breeze made me feel better under the afternoon sunlight and the nature trails are quite awesome and challenging. I tried to lean out just to see how deep the valley was then I had to pull myself back at once. It’s not that much high but it’s still dangerous since there is no safety bar and the trails are somewhat slippery, Unfortunately, I couldn’t venture more tracks as I carelessly stumbled over a rock or something and almost slipped (my heart fell into my feet in split second) Plus, I wore sandals which were not suitable for trekking at all so I decided to move to the next spot.

Entrance fee: There is no entrance fee Car park: Available Tips: bring proper shoes and water

Driving only 2 km away from the Canyon, I arrived at “Pai memorial bridge”. This antique bridge offers the story of WWII and became a famous landmark that everyone always makes a visit. There was nothing much to see actually so I just took a short walk through the bridge and again, I always did something clumsily, for this time, I almost lost my phone as I dropped it while taking a photo.

  Next up, I dropped by for making merit and praying for my trip again at “Wat Pharthatjomjang”. I needed to walk upstairs to see the relic and there was merely me up there. I got my mind off for a moment and continued my journey again.

Regardless of a mishap, I had so much fun wandering around Pai. My next destination was “Kho-Kuu-So bamboo bridge”. I planned to watch the sunset right there but little did I know that there were big mountains surrounded the area that meant it was not a great location to catch the sunset at all.

Before I’m going to tell you how lovely this place is, I’d love to give you some suggestions, just in case you want to make a visit.

Make sure you can cope with a bumpy road and riding up the mountains. As I read the reviews before that it was a bit difficult to access the bridge but once I reached there, it was definitely worth it.

Spare some time for beautiful landscapes. You might be attracted unawares by nice scenery like I was.

Don’t expect much especially when you go there during the dry season.

Eventually, I made it to the bridge. The place itself was absolutely tranquil in the late afternoon like this and even though I came here during the dry season and the sun nearly went down, it was still beautiful with the yellow and brown rice fields. This is a real getaway from the hustle and bustle of city life. Moreover, I’d like to say it’s a great place where you can give yourself a break. I spent some time sitting on the bridge and taking the full scenery, also let my mind wander and left everything behind for a moment.

Entrance fee: There is no entrance fee Car park: Available Facilities: A small coffee shop Tips: Don’t jump or run on the bridge

On the way back to the town, I pulled over again to capture a beautiful twilight. Darkness gradually came so I was a little bit struggling on the road due to my motorbike light which was not working.

My last stop of the day was “Pai walking street” where you can enjoy the authentic taste of Thai street food. This place is well known as a nice spot to hang out or spend a nightlife. Normal streets were turned into bustling ones at a nighttime. There are a lot of bars, cafes, restaurants and several stalls which offer many kinds of unique local foods and drinks, also lovely souvenirs, and handicrafts all the way along the street. This night market was set up around 4pm to 10pm every day along Chaisongkran and the northern end of Rungsiyanon Road.

Spring roll is not a bad choice, isn’t it?

  Khai pam; a simple dish made from eggs cooked in banana leaf

Indeed, my first night here didn’t pass by easily. Firstly, I have to say I used to be a big fan of ice-cold weather but ever since I’ve been to Sapa, I kicked my self out of it. Tonight I had to drive through the coldness back to my hostel and it was such a real torture. I didn’t expect it was gonna be this cool as I brought only a thin sweater with me before the plan was changed to Pai.

But the real savageness just started. It happened while I was taking a shower. A water heater abruptly didn’t work when I needed to rinse my body. Back then, I was like…Could anything be this worse? I decided to wrap my self in a towel and quickly changed to another bathroom but seemed like tonight was not my night for real because there was no heater in that room!!! 😫 …so I went back to the previous one and waited for a moment until the machine started working again.

After getting through an amazing bathtime, I still had to face up to a freezing night. The more I tried to keep myself warm under the blanket, the more I felt so cold. I must say tonight was rough and all I could do was only praying for the sun to come up earlier…lol

Long night ahead of me but I will survive…

Day 5: Pang-Ung is calling

I had a plan trekking to a waterfall this morning so I woke up very early because I was concerning about the time. I had to return my bike around 2pm and the trek took about 5-6 hours long. It would be perfect if I started by now but I couldn’t even pull myself out of the blanket as I got a fever so things I could do were just taking a medicine and had a wasting-time activity – sleeping – a little bit longer to get better and to let the temperature outside get higher, so I could go out and explore the town again.

Look! someone just stole my bed

I woke up again after feeling better. This morning I no longer wanted to drive because I realized how cold it was out there but I was hungry so I had no choice. The coldness engulfed me again while driving and my hands started getting numb, yet, I wasn’t gonna give up for sure. People need food, you know, right? Finally, I got myself a simple meal; porridge rice and Chinese donuts. It was still cold out here but a warm and delicious dish could help a lot.

I was thinking about today’s plan and it turned out to be no plan. Since my trekking was canceled so I had no idea where to go. I finished my meal and was about to wander around. The sun was fully shining and now I could feel the warmth and that made me felt much better to drive again.

My no plan led me to nowhere. I saw a sign of “Tha Pai hot springs” so I followed a course until I reached the destination. You just pay 50THB for an entrance and enjoy a natural hot spring as long as you want. I went on a walkabout in the area and soaked up the warmth. The trail is a circle so you can easily enjoy the entire hot springs. There are bathrooms and changing room right there so don’t worry if you want to dip in a pool.

Entrance fee: 50THB (not sure about the vehicle entrance fee) Car park: Available Facilities: Bathroom, Campground, Restaurant Tips: Beware the heat and follow the rule

I stopped by at a few spots along the way back. I would say I had such a great time here and Pai really got my heart even though many people said this little town had been changed a lot. yeah…I couldn’t agree more but at least there’s still an aura of nature that embraces this peaceful town.

My mom had called me by the time I was back in town seeking a place to sit back. We finished everything-motorbike&stuff and then had lunch together. My parents looked so excited being here as I could see my dad bragged about how much he enjoyed hundreds of curves to Pai.

Khao-soi

Sai Aua (Northern Thai Spicy Sausage)

Aside from taking my parents around the town, today we were heading off to Pang-Ung. The scenic way to Pang-Ung was incredibly beautiful, plus a clear blue sky really brightened up this journey. We sometime stopped by a roadside and a viewpoint where we could enjoy picturesque views and the sea of mountains. Unfortunately, I felt slightly unwell because of my fever was getting higher again so it wasn’t such a pleasant journey like I expected.

However, I was not gonna let anything separate me from the beauty of this journey. We decided to go to “The Bamboo Bridge of Faith and Success: Su Tong Pae” as we realized we had plenty of time left before the sunset.

Once you park a car, you first have to follow a wooden bridge until you walk past the temple then go downstairs, the path will take you to the bamboo bridge in the end. I considered this place as one of the hidden treasures in Mae Hong Son. If you love the serenity, I would definitely recommend this one.

Normally, this bridge was daily used by monks and villagers here. It is 500 meters long across rice fields and the Mae Sa Nga River to link the temple at one end with the village of Kung Mai Saak at the other.

Obviously, the place was completely quiet. There were merely my family and a few people down here and it was such a real privacy that I’d been longing for. We spent 1hr enjoy the gentle late afternoon sunlight which shining perfectly especially when it shone down on the fields. Afterward, we walked up back to the car and continued heading out to Pand Ung again.

The higher we drove up to Pang Ung, the darker we only could see. We heard the sound like a gunshot from time to time while driving and we were wondering what it actually was but we didn’t think much of it so we still kept driving. When we drove past the village, another car coming down from the other side but the road wasn’t wide enough to let 2 cars pass by so we had to draw in a sideway. Suddenly, we felt like we fell into a small hole and then we heard the sound again, this time was louder like we bumped into something. We immediately got out off the car and checked all the way under and around it. We found absolutely nothing but only a scratch on a shoulder so we guessed it was probably a root cause of a strange sound. My dad thoroughly checked the car again to make sure we could keep going to our destination safely. Luckily, nothing was damaged. A local guy came and helped us checking everything. I guess he’s a member of a group that looks after the tourists and I don’t wonder why there is a thing like this due to a steep road.

One thing we could see and that already clarified the gunshot sound we heard before was “the moon”. We totally forgot that there was a lunar eclipse today and it was a special one called “Super blue blood moon”. This natural phenomena refers to a belief of some group of people that they have to shoot straight up into the sky to shove Rahu away.

We started moving again and finally arrived at the homestay complex “Baan Ruam Thai”. The complex/village was just right in front of Pang Ung. There are also other choices for visitors. First, you can rent or take your own tents as there is a beautiful campsite by the lake. Second, if you prefer something more comfortable, chalets near the lake were provided for you as well.

At that time, we just walked in for a room. We paid only 1000-1500THB for three people and we got a lovely small hut in a homestay area and this one was within a walking distance to the lake and through the village. The price was so cheap but the only disadvantage was “no water heater”. It was not going to be a big deal if you are here during summer but during winter…I guess Queen Elsa may come for you…like she comes for me

Accommodation: Jing Homestay Tel: [phone]

A struggle was real again. I had to fight against my sickness and the x2 coldness over there but whatever, I still had fun anyway.

We had a pretty long ride all day and it was time for dinner. The restaurant was right beside our homestay. We ordered a big meal and enjoy it to the fullest.

Day 6: Beyond the beauty

Pang Ung or “Pangtong2” is one of the Royal Initiative projects by HM Queen Sirikit for highland development.

I got through this freezing night and woke up before the sunrise. Queen Elsa came say hi to me all night long until the morning lol

We walked through the cold until we saw the lake. The sun slightly came out so I could see everything clearer. The mist was spectacularly coming up above the lake. A light wind blew and spread it out like a real heaven. Sunlight was shining through pine forest, also to the water and was creating a naturally beautiful reflection. Everything was a perfect combination for this breathtaking scenery and it was such a priceless moment.

The stunning view in front of me got me speechless. My heart was exhilarating and I was very excited seeing something like this. I must say although it was a bit tricky to reach this place, it was absolutely worth the effort!!!

(click a photo to view a full-size picture)

After spending a quality time around the lake, we went back to the village searching for breakfast. Lung Pala Guest House & Homestay was a place where we were going to have a tasty meal today. There are a variety of dishes with an acceptable price. The ambiance was so fine especially an innermost small shed which was perfect for chilling out and impressing a lush nature.

Entrance fee: There is no entrance fee Car park: Available Tips: 1) Drive carefully 2) Make sure you book a room to stay in advance especially on holidays

Later on, we checked out and drove further North to the next destination called “Baan Rak Thai”. This place is best known for nice views and tea cultivation. I’m not gonna say this is a must since I see it’s just fine. Nothing’s special or outstanding. Probably, my expectation is too high. However, it’s still a good place to catch up and spend some time chill out by the lake.

The time had come and we almost had to say goodbye to this trip. We made a short stop at a few places including a viewpoint while traveling homeward. “KAREN LONG NECK VILLAGE”  was one of interesting places to make a visit in Mae Hong Son. We were right at the entrance then had to walk a little bit downhill to the village. The picture I imagined was pretty much different from reality. It was a place set up as a market. Each stall sells almost the same kind of stuff such as fabric, handicraft, postcard, magnet, and jewelry. Nevertheless, the vendors, who are Karen, are super friendly and willing to answer what you’re curious about their cultures or neck rings but make sure not to ask a too much personal question.

In short, the overall was not bad and it was such a good experience having a chance visited this place. I was happy to open my world and see something new and unique like this in Thailand.

Last but not least, I’m so thankful to each and every one who helps me through this trip. I truly wanted to prolong my holidays but I know it’s impossible. Even though it was just six days, I’ve gained a lot of valuable experiences from this journey and also realized that “if I put my dreams on hold for somebody else, I will probably never have a chance to do it, and it the end, I will only regret the chance I didn’t take”

Chiang Mai & Mae Hong Son, see you down the road!

Don’t forget to check out my latest video click here

Getaway [Thailand 2018]: Mae Hong Son ep.2 Day 4: (Mad)Road Today I took some craziness with me to ride a free bike while bearing my huge backpack again in order to get to the bus station.