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corvidares · 4 months

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okay, so i just finished re-reading Any Way the Wind Blows and this feels so blatant as to be smacking me in the face: simon is disabled.

now, the reason why that makes itself even clearer in this book than in wayward son (where he, of course, also has the wings + tail) is because simon is once again in the world of mages - despite doing his best to leave it behind. compared to wayward son, where hes basically and literally in the wild west. where theres magical beings everywhere, where simon practically fits in because he is one.

but ill get back to that.

ive seen a lot of really interesting points about what simon's wings represent and mean, and i'm not disagreeing with those. but in a very literal sense, they are a disability.

think about it like this: the world of mages (and Normals) is not built for humanoids who have giant webbed wings and a tail. simon constantly struggles with controlling these limbs, and their size makes it ten times harder. spaces are too small, furniture and objects are broken when he spreads them, and many a shirt or jacket are ruined.

he struggles to find a good way to deal with this - spell them away? wear them out by cutting holes in things? fold them extremely painfully into his shirt? even though this last one is treated like a solution for a little while, its far from ideal. who is simon doing this for? himself, or everyone around him? yes, of course Normals cant see them. and yeah, hes expressed discomfort about baz and penny spelling them hidden. but thats not the point. even with this botch job of a way to "wear" his wings, which succeeds at hiding them from Normals, simon still states a couple times that he knows people stare at him and his seeming hunchback. i mean, thats blatant.

(he eventually, with shepard's help, realizes a good way to work around this - zippers or buckles on shirtbacks - which very much feels like an aha! disability aid moment)

im not saying disability is based in how people look at you, or it only being a societal thing. (as in, when he wasnt in the world of mages, he wasnt suddenly 'not disabled at all') disability is a huge spectrum. but those things absolutely can be a part of the disabled experience.

but all of that doesnt even get to my main point: simon has no magic anymore. and in the world of mages, thats a huge deal. magic is like living and breathing, especially for baz and penny. its not something they question or have to worry about not being able to call upon. hell, even before simon lost his magic he was disabled, just to a different extent.

before awtwb, we dont hear much about mages whose magic is weak. but they come to the forefront now - which just solidifies that solid magical ability = able bodiedness.

smith is promising a miracle cure. a cure. think of it like bullshit orgs such as aut!sm spe@ks, wanting to "cure" autism - he wants to cure people. (and hes just as full of shit) why? because weak magic is seen as a disease, a problem, even subhuman.

take daphne, baz's stepmom. her quality of life is fine, great. her weaker magic doesnt seem to put her at a disadvantage. she manages her disability well. but in comparison to the norm, to what is expected of the average mage, shes got nothing. less than nothing. she feels shame over what she cant do.

smith's case becomes even more blatant when we see, at the end of awtwb, that he wants to essentially cull weak magicians. that they're holding back society. that theyre better off as powerless as Normals - who are blatantly seen as subhuman - than as weak mages. much like how ableist rhetoric puts forward that disability is a fate worse than death.

which brings us back to simon. he insists hes a Normal, now or always has been. baz insists hes the most powerful magician to exist. both of them are wrong.

and right. and right and wrong.

simon is some third thing - not a mage, not a Normal. akin to how disability is its own minority aside from race or ethnicity he has a foot in each world, and he always has. but now he cant achieve blending into either.

this is why the increasing presence and humanization of other magical beings beside mages is so important (thank you shephard!) how mages tend to seem magical beings is very ableist. theyre subhuman, theyre not to be trusted, theyre freaks, theyre dirty, etc. except oops, how can you keep thinking that penny, when this very nice one works at a cafe and helped you translate shephard's engagement terms?

even baz and the events of wayward son play into this - yeah, some vampires are horrible people. but plenty, like baz, are just people. with a range of experiences and morals and ways of living life. (take nicodemus) (i could make a point about how simon's stalwart acceptance of baz's vampirism helps baz comes to terms with it and how this is also super disability coded, but thats another essay)

in the beginning of awtwb, he decides to go to the extreme opposite of his chosen one powered life - to live as a Normal, and the second step (after cutting himself off from baz and penny) is getting his wings removed.

except he cant do it. and even having his wings touched is horribly uncomfortable. now, this partly has to do with how much theyre sensual parts of his body - same as his tail. but its also, separately, very intimate. theyre treated very clinically, like a fascinating specimen to pore over. im not trying to give niamh shit here, just saying what i saw.

but theyre part of him. people with disabilities often deal with being stared at and poked and prodded by the medical field (if theyre not ignored or waved off. maybe both.). even every day folks feel the right to touch disabled folks, or their mobility aids.

for a lot of people, mobility aids are a part of them - its like a stranger touching your face and thinking theyre doing you a favor. when instead theyre being weird as fuck.

simon's status as previous chosen one even plays into this sort of thing - people see him more as a figurehead, for what he can and cant do (including his wings!) than a person. hes a tragedy, hes a hero. hes inspirational, hes to be pitied. sound familiar?

the end of awtwb doesnt spell out whether simon ends up deciding to keep his wings (frustratingly). but they spell out that he would absolutely would, in my opinion.

simon increasingly treats them as a natural extension of his body. think of the scene where he flies about the watford goats. how he expresses his feelings with his wings and tail. and of course, how he learns to let baz loves each and every part of him: including his dragon limbs.

baz loves him, and loves them, not in a fetishistic way, but because its simon, and he loves everything simon is. not just what he represents or can or cant do.

#carry on #wayward son #any way the wind blows #simon snow #simon snow trilogy #baz pitch #awtwb #snowbaz #its there man okay its about disabled love. disabled4disabled #corvi caws #DO YOU SEE MY VISION? DO YOU SEE IT??????#theres probably more i wrote this in one sitting #also a disclaimer: i am not physically disabled. if ive said something thats a big nono please let me know and i will edit or delete -#accordingly. and by that i mean if a /disabled person/ tells me i said something inappropriate #also im not saying this was rainbow's intention. i have no idea if it was. itd be kinda wild if it /wasnt/ to any extent tho #im aware its like. iffy to say nonhuman creatures are an allegory for disability #it definitely IS iffy #which is why im not sure if rainbow meant it that way. or should have done that #but it does read like that #and rainbow drives home that theyre ALSO people #so like idk. its complicated #regardless simon is disabled ill die on that hill #im shocked no one else has written this essay btw #maybe someone has but i didnt find it #IF someone has link it to me i want to put it in my mouth

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idiacide · 2 years

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A non-comprehensive list of the Just Neurodivergent Things on the boys I hc as ADHD/Autistic (source: I have ADHD and am pursuing an autism diagnosis).

Floyd Leech (ADHD):

-noncomprehensive list of stims include nail biting, hair tugging, sliding his untied bowtie back and forth in his shirt collar (resulting in the bowtie being confiscated by Jade), snapping, and biting pretty much anything he gets his hands on

-Would strongly benefit from a chew necklace if his teeth didn't shred the rubber immediately

-In general he's a hazard to keep in clothes. The longer he's been on land the easier it gets but he still tends to pull his jacket on and off every few hours or so

-His hyperfixations tend to be on athletics and different sports, resulting in a lot of unused equipment piling up in his room and making a tripping hazard

Jade Leech (Autism)-

-The worst part of moving to land was losing the ocean pressure. He tends to wear a lot of tight clothes to help offset this.

-Floyd never bothered to learn to mask. Jade did once they came to land, not because of a pressure to conform but because he thinks its funny to turn the neurotypical energy on and off at will.

-Special interest in mushrooms. Obsessive.

-The mountain trips have an added bonus of giving him a scheduled time to destimulate a little bit and self regulate. The Mostro Lounge and Floyd both make for a chaotic day to day life and while Jade isn't super prone to meltdowns it can be tough if he doesnt know he can get away soon. Having those plans altered or cancelled, especially at the last minute, is one of the few ways to visibly upset him

-His body gets all tight when he IS overstimulated and his breathing gets more regulated. Fortunately Floyd and Azul both tend to spot this pretty quickly and will clear the room

-HATES fluorescents

Jamil Viper (Autism and ADHD):

-He thinks he's very good at multitasking, and he is, but its literally only because of he was able to slow down to one task at a time he would implode

-Dancing stretches stims. Constantly

-Kalim is usually the number one source of overstimulation with the constant chatter and abrupt plans changing and bubbliness. Post overblot they both get better about boundary setting there.

-Has no idea his face typically registers as annoyed/bored to most people.

-He braids his hair to stim and as a way of self regulating. His hands are always going on something

-He learned how to fake emotional regulation really early on but he struggles really badly with his temper to this day.

-Hates not being able to set the pace of his own activities. Having to wait for other people to catch up to where he is makes him want to stick needles in his hand

-Subtle flappy hands, held low so they can't be spotted

Vil Schoenheit (Autism)

-"Im so good at masking no one would ever know" *has a meltdown because an assistant put his makeup back Wrong *

-Generally really bad at emotional regulation in the face of lacking control. Ascribes a lot of it to a "diva" personality instead of the actual truth

-Part of the reason he's so good at acting is he spent his whole childhood studying people's intonation and facial expressions to mimic them. When he's not in work mode he tends to let it drop completely. "Resting bitch face" can be seen as a staple when youre a celebrity. Nobody has to know its just your default mode.

-He grits his teeth and bears through modelling sessions with fabrics that irritate his sensory issues, but Rook makes a point to ensure all Pomefiore dorm uniforms are made of stuff Vil can tolerate easier

-He's not very public about it because he doesn't want to be shoved into the box of Autism spokesperson and never allowed to leave it. However, he's vigilant for signs and symptoms in his underclassmen and makes a point to provide as much accommodations as is within his power to give. Beauty may be pain sometimes, but his dormmates deserve the tools they need to succeed.

Idia Shroud (ADHD)

-Chews his hair to stim which is SUCH a bad idea his mouth tastes like ash. He'll settle for hoodie strings or sleeves if he has to.

-Sensory whiplash all the time, sometimes you need 12 videos playing at once just to feel something and sometimes leaving your bed in your pitch black room feels like the biggest ask in the world.

-Media hyperfixations that eat up his income like nothing else. At least his family's rich.

-Caffeine addict. He's been trying to ease off since Ortho started rattling off heart disease stats but its slow going.

-Physically cannot stop talking, mumbles to himself when he doesnt want people to hear.

-Nuked sleep schedule

-Gets the zoomies at his computer and has to lap his room a few times. He trips over more laundry piles that way

#twisted wonderland #twst #floyd leech #jade leech #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #neurodivergence headcanon

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