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x-childish-x · 3 years

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(part 1) i am loving these anakin x mother figure concepts 😄 could i also request one haha, after order 66 reader survives and becomes a grey jedi. while on a mission, she runs into darth vader. they fight for a little bit, but soon stop after they recognize each other through the force. surprisingly, vader isn’t hostile towards her while they talk, but he’s not calm either. reader refuses to keep calling him vader. after their convo reader slowly approaches him and

Something You're Not

Pairing: Darth Vader x fem!reader

Fandom: Star Wars

Warnings: Darth Vader, female!reader, mother figure!reader, crying, mentions to feeling like a failure, fighting, mentions to Order 66

Word Count: 1,352

A/N: Hello lovely! Wow I loved writing this request! First Darth Vader request, woo! It was so fun to write because the entire time I felt I could see this all playing out! Thank you for the request and support! I appreciate it so much! Feedback is always welcome and appreciated, I really hope that you all enjoy this one!!

Summary: You finally reach the force signature that had been reaching out with you for weeks, only to realize it's none other than Darth Vader, the boy you once raised.

PART TWO, PART THREE, PART FOUR

(gif! not mine!)

"Rex, take care of Ahsoka for me... I know how badly she wants to be on this mission. I can't risk it," you mumbled through the holo-comm as you carefully landed your ship.

"You know I always will. She's busy with Ezra right now anyways, so hopefully, he'll keep her mind occupied. Just be safe. If this is Maul, we need to know why he's been reaching out to you," Rex replied, his voice sounding tired.

You sighed, clicking everything off before standing, "Don't worry, Rex. It'll work out. I'll be home within a rotation."

"You better be," Rex joked lightly, "Be safe (y/n). May the force be with you."

"And with you."

Clicking off the holo-comm and leaving it on the ship, you quickly set off outside. Pulling up the hood on your grey cloak, you looked around cautiously, taking in your surroundings and using the force to reach out.

You could feel the dark side of the force more prominently now that you were here. It was almost strong enough to make out a force signature, but not completely. Despite the fact you still seemed far away from the dark force energy, it felt incredibly familiar, and that was what lead you to believe it was Maul. After all, he was the only Sith whose force signature you were familiar with.

It didn't take long for you to find the correct path leading to the Sith. Following the dark force signature proved to be an easy task for you. You trekked through the forest for what felt like hours. You carefully avoided all unknown plants and made sure to keep your presence as obscure as possible. You were using the force to the best advantage you could, mapping out your path while still trying to identify the oddly familiar Sith signature.

Finally breaking out into a clearing, you held your breath at the sight of Darth Vader's back. His cloak swooshed in the light breeze as you watched him, quickly thinking over everything you'd ever heard about him. You felt like you were in a holo-film, at the big climax moment when you face off the main villain. Fog would be piling in, surrounding you and Darth Vader as you prepare to fight.

Undoubtedly he knew you were there, and despite the fact, the two of you had never encountered each other before, your force signatures were incredibly familiar. Dancing around each other like fawns, trying to figure out why the unknown was so incredibly welcoming, like coming back to an old friend.

"I did not know you'd survived Order 66," Vader's ominous voice broke through the silence, venom, and hatred surrounding each word.

Slowly you stepped out from the faint protection of the trees, "It wasn't of my knowledge that you even knew me."

"I don't," Vader replied curtly, allowing a pause as your signatures moved around one another, "You're a Jedi unaccounted for."

"I prefer it that way," You snarled.

Dashing forward at the same moment Vader's force signature delivered a harsh prod to your own, you unsheathed your lightsaber. Leaping into the air and slashing down on Vader's back, you made contact with his lightsaber, sparks of grey and red dancing in the calm aura of the planet. He was quick to spin and send a counter swing at you, but you blocked it quickly. You locked sabers and spun him around, doing your best to throw him off.

Despite the situation of your fighting, you found each other still dancing within the force, trying to identify each other's signature. Your fighting was incredibly familiar to him, and his defense was familiar to you. Akin to a thunderstorm, you both fought quickly and powerfully. Neither obtaining the upper hand, you matched perfectly clash after clash, block after block.

Your fierce fighting was like a tornado destroying a small town. The planet around you was calm and peaceful, undisturbed by the fight for life you'd engaged yourself in. It certainly wasn't Maul who'd been trying to connect with you over the past weeks, and you found yourself wishing that it had been the Dathomirian instead. You'd overcome enough and lost too much to not give up now.

Finally flipping away, your hood fell as your force signatures connected, a gasp tumbling from your lips, "Anakin?"

"Master (y/l/n)," Vader responded softly.

A silence fell as you stared at one another. Of course, he was familiar. You trained Anakin, helped Obi-Wan raise him. You'd been Anakin's mom ever since he'd joined the Jedi, and he, your son. You'd assumed he'd died in Order 66, as Obi-Wan refused to talk to you. But now, staring across at Anakin in Vader's armor, you felt more like a failure than you'd ever had.

"You traded the purple for grey," Vader noted, causing you to look down at your blade.

Looking up at Anakin, you fought to keep your voice strong, "You traded blue for red, Ani."

"Anakin's dead," He snarled, turning off his lightsaber.

You mocked his actions, tilting your head slightly, "If Vader was here, he would've killed me already, Anakin."

"I am Vader! My name is Vader," The man huffed, "I killed Anakin myself!"

You shook your head, "I will not call you something you're not, Anakin. I trained you to be honest... true to yourself and your emotions. I will do the same now."

Vader seemed to falter, his hands repeatedly clenched and unclenched. The soft whir of machinery filled the air as you stared at the man in front of you. You took a step forward slowly, your eyes filling with remorse as you used the force to search through Anakin.

"What'd they do to you, my sweet Ani?" You whispered, "Why didn't you come to me? I could've helped you."

"Nobody could've helped him!" Anakin raged, yelling in anger that seemed directed at himself, "He was lost! Gone! Anakin would've died regardless! I, Vader, would've killed him regardless!"

"No," You mumbled, looking around at the planet you'd been called to, "You wouldn't have died, Ani. It would've been like any other mission, any other obstacle before. I would've helped you get through it, like always."

"Anakin is dead!" Vader cried out, his voice breaking, a hint of desperation sneaking through, "He's gone."

Slowly, you stepped forward, watching the way Anakin's chest rose and fell with each mechanical breath, "No... you're not gone, Anakin. You're not gone, and like all the times before, I'll be waiting to help you."

Taking in a deep breath, you anxiously wrapped your arms around Anakin, noticing how much taller he was. His arms remained by his side in shock, trying to sort out his emotions. Anakin's mechanical breathing filled your ears as you squeezed the boy you raised. Tears fell down your cheeks as you held him to your chest, wishing you had been able to help him. Wishing you'd stayed by Anakin more during the Clone Wars. Wishing that you could turn back time and save the little boy you loved so much.

Squeezing tighter for a brief second, you whispered, "I love you, no matter what, Anakin."

Letting go of the man, you stepped back quickly, hoping that the powerful Sith Lord hadn't seen your tears. But you knew that you'd been too slow, and you knew Anakin knew you better than that. Watching as you walked back and disappeared into the trees you'd come from, Darth Vader wondered if he would ever see you again. He'd reached out to you for weeks, and he wondered now if you would ever reach out to him, remind him you were still alive, waiting for Anakin to return.

Boarding your shuttle, you let out a cry as you reached for your comm. There were so many regrets you held and so much you wished you would've done. But the past was not something you could dwell on. You could only hope that you'd been able to reach Anakin quickly enough.

"Rex?" You called weakly into the comm. You waited patiently for Rex's reply until you heard your name called worriedly, "I'm coming home."

Taglist: @nowthisisdark

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katsidhe · 3 years

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Hello as a long time silent lurker with post notifications on, and someone who has been very into the minecraft roleplay for about 9 months, I am oh so incredibly intrigued on your thoughts! I hope you don't mind if I ramble a little. Sam (both minecraft and spn, but in this context the minecraft one) is one of my favourite characters because he's so incredibly complex. The prison story has sparked so much discussion and conflict in this fandom, so I would love to hear your thoughts if you want to share!

oh noooooooooooo don’t enable me. (Jk <3)

I’m putting this under a read more for those of you who don’t want to be inflicted with my minecraft roleplay brain worms. I would apologize but I think we’re well past that.

So, like, full disclosure that I am pretty new to dsmp and am surely missing out on big ol swathes of Essential Character Content, etc etc. But I do know the basics, and I’ve (naturally) watched all the Torture Box Content, because I mean come on, that’s my brand.

k so First of all, THE most essential part of any media: x-coded y girl. Dream is a textbook Cas-coded Sam girl. Sam (Minecraft) is a Cas-coded Dean girl. Quackity is a Dean-coded Sam girl. I’d say Tommy is Dean-Dean. Techno is, hmm, Cas-Cas. Okay, important part done.

Minecraft Sam is very fun! I find it absolutely delightful that he clings to moral high ground while torturing and starving a prisoner. And at least from what I’ve seen, there’s a lot of room for interpretation as to the level of guilt and involvement he actually feels about what’s being done to Dream. He goes back and forth between justifying the treatment as something Dream categorically deserves, and justifying it as a means to an end. Whether that end is the book itself, or whether it’s Quackity’s cooperation/satisfaction, or whether it’s some twisted and bloody sense of justice and duty, seems to vary wildly. On top of that, of course, is the irony that Dream was the one to give him this commission and this job in the first place: in every respect, it’s a duty to Dream (to punish him; to secure him; to uphold his rules) that Sam’s fulfilling. Dream isn’t the only one to suffer from Sam’s inflexibility surrounding the entire concept of Dream: Tommy and Ponk do too.

And yet it’s not the inflexibility that ends up hurting Dream the worst: it’s the gaps in that rigidity. If Sam had kept the prison operating as apparently originally commissioned, it would be inhumane but just about bearable: hardly the level of absurd, over-the-top war crime that it’s reached by now. His choice to begin starving Dream in earnest seems to have been mostly an emotional reaction, after Tommy’s death. (Ironic, too, that Tommy also suffered the result of this choice.) And this is fine, because it’s not active: it’s passive, something that’s happening by inaction. Same with giving Quackity specially made weapons and total carte blanche.

The level of trust that Dream has in Sam’s sense of duty is also fascinating. Even as late as the most recent stream, after the guy’s been permitting him to be tortured for months, Dream appeals to Sam’s need to keep Dream static, in one place as his prisoner, in order to save his life. Incidentally, I do think that convincing Sam to keep Quackity from straight-up murdering him is the only concession Dream was actually hoping to win with that conversation. because like, food and a courtyard visit? after a jail break? Like hell is Sam going to grant that, even before the stunt he and Techno pulled, and Dream knows it. I think that the rest of that conversation was just to deflect, and keep Sam from questioning Dream more sharply about whatever he and Techno have planned. Bringing up Tommy and letting Sam go off on his predictable diatribe about morality and just desserts seemed similarly strategic: Dream knows what Sam thinks about what kind of treatment he deserves. He’s had months to figure it out, and it wasn’t exactly rocket science to begin with.

Anyway, that trust is the same reason Dream appealed (unsuccessfully) to Sam when Quackity first showed up: it devastated him to realize that he’d miscalculated the degree of Sam’s willingness to set aside his duty in this one particular way. Quackity in general represents a HUGE blind spot in Sam’s otherwise completely rigid inflexibility: so huge it’s almost baffling, given what Sam was ready to do to Tommy and Ponk and Ghostbur. But Quackity represents a loophole Sam badly wants. He badly, badly wants some good old-fashioned vengeance, without dressing it up with any pretensions of procedure or justice, but he can’t allow himself to actively act on those impulses—or else he would be Bad, and he can’t have that. He has to believe himself to be Good, and he wants to indulge himself with Dream’s suffering anyway. So he explains that, actually, Dream’s treatment is Dream’s own fault. It’s hilariously deluded.

Which brings me to Quackity, because what makes Quackity fun is that he’s actually NOT hilariously deluded—not about this, at least. Unlike Sam, he’s not laboring under the insane mental acrobatics necessary to convince himself that torture is Good Actually. He knows that what he’s doing is terrible, but he owns it: he’s fine admitting that he enjoys it, that he’s doing this for personal gain and personal vengeance and not for reasons of high-minded civic duty. He’s justifying the torture with brutal simplicity: Dream has hurt him and Dream has something he needs, done and done. He seems to be a firm believer in vengeful and disproportionate retribution, just as with his whole Butcher Army thing. To which I say, neat and fun! I also really really enjoy the power dynamic between him and Dream. Dream is someone who commands respect and fear and power, who could murder Quackity with one hand tied behind his back if they were on equal footing, and who probably barely spared him a thought as a threat. Quackity lives in terror of the thought of Dream escaping and wreaking his vengeance. And Quackity is trying his very best to wrestle that power away from him.

He seems to be pretty unpracticed and ineffective at torture, too—like, yeah, I get this is Minecraft and props are limited, but torturing someone long-term with an ax and a sword is going to be more than a bit unwieldy. and did he even bring in health potions his first day? It’s pretty telling and hilarious that Sam is the one who offers the shears, a far more practical choice of tool. Not to mention that the entire premise of his interrogation gives Dream massive, massive incentive to never give Quackity anything. Quackity straight up admits to Dream that the information he wants is the only reason he’s letting Dream live, which is utterly counterproductive if he wants the book sometime this year. Functionally, he needs to torture Dream not merely into admission, but into suicide. And as the days and weeks and months pass, he’s still got nothing to show for it but growing vindictiveness, paranoia, and frustration. By the time of the latest stream, he’s completely lost the plot—his threats don’t even make sense, his violence is ineffective and unhinged and indiscriminate. He’s lost all leverage and he’s needlessly (re)made a powerful enemy in Technoblade.

So, like, characters like Lucifer are fun because they’re good at torture. Characters like Quackity are fun because they’re bad at torture. But that doesn’t much matter. He doesn’t need to be particularly talented, or strong, or skilled to make Dream’s existence hell: the bare facts of the situation are more than enough for that. What does he learn, over the course of these visits—what skills does he hone, what kinds of violence does he discover that he can stomach? What depths of ruthlessness and creativity and hatred does he discover within himself? What threats does he make that he finds himself following through on before he’s even thought through the implications? It’s a learning curve, for him and Dream both. They’re learning each other, they’re learning the corners of this little hell together. Dream wasn’t expecting him to be capable of this degree of hostility or violence. Quackity is sick of being underestimated.

Which brings me finally to Dream. My general and hastily-gleaned impression of the fandom gives me the distinct impression that there is somehow a school of thought convinced Dream’s earned this treatment? Which baffles me. not only in how its absurd extremity (daily torture in a tiny box for literal months, jesus fucking christ) isn’t something even the most terrible villain could earn, but also in how Dream himself strikes me more as a morally gray fallen/falling antihero type than anything else. I was honestly completely prepared to find him to be a straightforward Bad Guy pre-prison, but that’s not at all my impression. He’s clearly got people and things he cares about and wants to protect, and big picture goals he’ll ruthlessly sacrifice anything to advance (ahem Cas-coded Sam girl). Really, it’s more that roleplays don’t tend to lend themselves easily to those types of narrative classification: nearly every character is a POV character; consuming the content from every perspective is nearly impossible. There aren’t super neat ways to sort antagonists and protagonists in essential terms, only in their relationships to one another. In terms of manipulation, war crimes, power-grabbing, and general destruction, practically everyone on the server is guilty to some degree or another. Dream’s treated Tommy pretty damn terribly, but that hardly makes him unique. What does make Dream unique is that he’s been singled out for near-universally-agreed-upon confinement (which oh so conveniently aligns with him being held as a tool, for information). And that’s neat!

…Look, tldr I just like it when people are in torture boxes. more media should have torture boxes, they are good and fun.

#not spn #anyway nonny I would LOVE to chat more about this tbh #suicide mention #torture #dsmp for ts

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khirsahle · 7 years

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oh wow, reading through this list there are at least ten questions i want to know the answer to, however i will prioritize / as someone keen on writing myself, i would like to know (if you have time) what you do for inspiration (nº 9), why you started (nº 15), self-advice (nº 17) and what your major stylistic influences are (nº 18) / have a nice day tomorrow / P.S. oh, 23 & 24 are really fun questions, too

Hello! (Andwelcome back, Anons!

9) what, if anything, do you do forinspiration?

I read asmuch as possible, but not within afandom/kind of genre I’m writing. So for instance if I am writing Dragon AgeHawke/Fenris, I try not to read much Hawke/Fenris, but I may read, oh…StarGateAtlantis. This lets me think critically about how characters are written andstories are unfolded without getting caught up in my own head or (even worse)accidentally yoink something for my own use. It can be scarily easy tointernalize an idea and think it’s your own.

I alsolisten to music a lot. I find thatmusic can make me experience emotions that I then unfold into characters.

I play videogames, as weird as that sounds. This is especially true for games with richstory and beautiful scenery. They can bring out emotions in you and sparkthematic ideas you want to explore within your own writing. My tendency towardvideo games and sci fi tv shows is how I know I’m absolutely obsessed with found family narratives, for instance.

Also?Weirdly? Documentaries. I mean, life is strange, and seeing how differentpeople live it—as well as how they talk, how they interact, how they see andexperience the world differently than you do—can really influence your writing.

15) why did you start writing?

This isusually a really dull answer, honestly, because it almost always is, “Because Ihad to.” Born storytellers always seem to have all these stories inside thatare just dying to get out. For me it was that, but it was also “Because Iwanted to know first.” Writing becamea way to grapple with ideas or emotions I was having a difficult time workingout, and I wanted to be able to pin them down and understand them before anyoneelse. It was a really selfish and self-involved instinct that got me intowriting, which I think is still reflected in some of my work. Many of mystrongest characters tend to inward-focus to the Nth degree because they’re myavenue still for exploring ideas I want to figure out.

17) if you could give your fledgling authorself any advice, what would it be?

Don’t walkaway and let your writing go fallow for so long. Keep going, keep working atit, and trust your instincts. Even when they’re terrible (seriously, stoptrying to write for shock value and focus on what you actually care about—those stories suck because your motivations areall wrong), they’re going to teach you something.

Also, have asecond pen name ready so you can leave behind your old name and emerge as anadult on the internet without cringing a little every time you remember thecrap still out there. Also, also, don’t name yourself after a Dragonlancecharacter, you dolt.

18) were there any works you read that affectedyou so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

YES. My twobiggest influences are Guy Gavriel Kay and (…I know this is really strange)Stephen King.

Guy GavrielKay is not afraid to pull punches. He is an emotional writer, and he will takeyou on a journey. Visually, he’s stunning. Someday I’d love to be like him.

Stephen King…youknow, for all the crap—and believe me, I know there is lots of crap—he’s gotthis way of writing people,especially complicated people, that makes them understandable. Even if you don’tlike them, you get them. He also has this way with mundanity that…transcends?It’s hard to explain. I’m not there, but I see a LOT of his influence in workslike Space Oddity.

Also, helikes to navel-gaze and I am infamous for navel-gazing. So there’s that.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feelhave helped your writing?

…yes. I wasin love with my best friend in middle school. Like. In love. And I’m pretty sure she was in love with me, too. Butbecause we didn’t really have the full understanding of what that all meantyet, we weren’t sure how to express it in a healthy way. We created theseextended fantasy worlds that we lived in, exploring abandoned houses and deepinto the forest and cypress swamps. It was all very Bridge to Terabithia,except with two young proto-dykes.

I won’t gointo the specifics of the falling out, but we had a terrible falling out that revolved around essentially frustratedlove and the new distance that got introduced when I had to move, plus a newfriend that she met after I moved. Wejust had no idea how to deal with howwe felt, and this new friend had no idea how to deal with me as such animportant part of her new BFFs life (she couldn’t “replace” me because she wasn’tthe romantic object I was, but she didn’t realize that was what made me more “special”than her, and gah, it was just a pre-teen clusterfuck), so when I was visitingover the summer, she arranged for us to have a poetry reading. We all gatheredtogether, and she made this big show of asking if I would read my old BFFs/love’spoem. My old BFF said it would mean a lot to her if I did, so of course, beingstill madly in love even if everything was getting so messy and complicated, Igot up in front of all of our friends and happily read her poem.

…I realizedabout halfway through that the poem was about me. And it wasn’t very nice at all. The new BFF was gleefullyleaning forward, eating it all up. The old BFF/love, was watching me coldly.And I just stared her down and read her poem as if it were a breakup anthem…which,essentially, it was. The thing was, all of our friends got to watch meexperience our painful breakup in real time, and it remains one of the mostemotionally fraught moments of my life. That kind of deliberate cruelty fromsomeone who loved me stuck in ways even adult relationships haven’t.

While Inever had a real Greg the Asshole, and I was never ghosted the way Teddy was, Ipoured everything I felt for her into Teddy’s feelings for Greg, and everymoment of confused hurt into his response to Greg turning everyone against him.It wasn’t a one for one, but the emotion was there in both, which is whywriting can be cathartic as fuck,guys.

24) have you ever become an expert onsomething you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or astory?

I wish! If Iwere a better writer, I would. Mostly Itend to learn enough to get the experience of it as close as possible, thenjust wing it.

I mean…

(snip) Nope, still too ashamed to let that bit of honesty stand. Oops.

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powerovernothing · 7 years

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Different anon here: because I'm lame I crack myself up thinking of an au where yondu survives and travels with the guardians, getting to know them and slowly becoming more and mores done with his sons weird taste in friends.

Oh my, isn’t this a rare treat, and something that completely puts a massive smile on my face! To go from writing a super fun meta for one nice Anon based around our local space dad…and then to turn around and see that another lovely Anon has wandered into my askbox to discuss more Yondu things?

And not only that, but also share with me an adorable headcanon of him and his son post Vol 2 where everything is good and happy and nothing sad ever happened no matter what James Gunn tries to make us believe?

Oh, I am going to have a fun time with this~

(Lots of Yondad meta and headcanon under the cut, as well as a small drabble where Yondu and Drax get along and embarrass Peter! Prepare for feelings as well as silly things!)

First off, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. The Guardians of the Galaxy fandom is just absolutely and all around lovely, and they certainly know their way to my heart with really great ideas coming from their really awesome minds!

Honestly, how could you not just adore this fandom and the people within it?!

Ah, but regardless! Hello there different, but equally as great, Yondu Anon! (Or would you rather me call you Yondad!Anon instead? Seems kind of fitting, yeah?) And thank you very much for popping into my askbox! Seeing all these messages from you guys just really makes my days all the more brighter; you just have no idea!

But there I go, getting off track; for shame! Anyway, you said that you make yourself giggle over a scenario where Yondu travels full time with Peter and his Guardian family after the events of the second film, and that he just, slowly but surely, becomes even more done with his son’s very bizarre choice of friends the more and more he gets to know them?

And, on top of everything, you somehow actually consider that idea to be lame?

Oh, but my dear Yondad friend! That is where you are sadly mistaken, because I don’t think that that idea is lame whatsoever! In fact, I think that it’s a very wonderful idea actually! And one that I, too, often think about in terms of post Vol 2 headcanons – be it silly or cute or just somewhere in between!

And actually, reading over your message reminded me of various ideas that me and my friend @packratofdenialism had in regards to Yondu’s relationship with the Guardians. The ones that come to mind first and foremost being that, other than Rocket and Groot, it would probably be Drax that Yondu would end up having the best kind of friendship with, before anyone else in the group.

And why him of all people, you may be wondering, and not someone like Mantis, considering that she is basically in some ways Peters’ adoptive sister, and Yondu has a thing for strays?

Well, honestly, the reasoning behind this is that Yondu and Drax are actually rather similar. Both warriors/killers with their own sense of honor, both fathers in their own right, both pretty bad with emotions, and yet ends up, after a massive tragedy, accepting a new family…as well as various others I’m probably not remembering.

And besides all that, there’s also the fact that both Yondu and Drax have one amazing ice breaker to spark their friendship. And something that would most certainly embarrass the hell out of Peter once he hears them talking about it.

That Drax was one of the first Guardians whom considered Yondu Peter’s father.

And since we’re all about giving out headcanons, and you had such an awesome one messaged to me above – how about I give you one in return? One that will give you all the emotions, possibly silly and heartwarming both?

(Inspired by late night conversations with @packratofdenialism, love ya friend~!)

Because honestly, can you imagine the look on Yondu’s face when Drax pulls him aside and he begins to discuss just how wonderful the relationship that Yondu has with his son is? And how proud he must be to have raised such a grand warrior, or how blessed Yondu should feel to see Peter grow and become a leader of his own crew?

I mean, it’s one thing to say it among friends, and have it be played off as a really big misunderstanding…

As well as have Peter totally deny that Yondu is the dad he’s always wanted, or that he ever called him Dad emotionally after he was saved from space, or how this is something that both father and son are still trying to get used to saying at all…but, dude, that’s only meant to be private sappy bullshit just between them! Not said in mixed company, or aloud, or ever! What the hell, Drax!

But to bring it up again, in a small ship where everyone can hear, and in front of Yondu no less! Peter isn’t sure whether to crawl under the ship’s controls or just smack his head repeatedly into the wall, because he knows well enough that nothing that comes out of this is going to be good, and he’ll probably never live it down…

I mean, just imagine!

“Ah, at long last! I get to go one on one with Quill’s father!” “Sure as hell hope yer not expectin’ the two o’us ta’arm wrest –” He pauses half way through his playful words; realizing slowly just what Drax said. “Wait, whadda’yer sayin’?”“You are indeed the true father of Star Lord? I know that your son tries to deny it with great enthusiasm, but it is surely so plain to see!”

So Peter would just groan aloud, because it was bad enough the first time around but now other members are listening in, and part of him just really hopes that Yondu will cut Drax off with some joke.

And yet, Yondu just smiles. Letting out that very asshole kind of laugh that is hidden with deeper emotion; because it may be slightly embarrassing to be considered Peter’s father by someone – as well as surprising, considering no one is judging him for said feelings…but somehow it just feels right.

“Hah, yeah, ah’guess ya could say ‘dat.”

And at hearing that Yondu isn’t angry, and is possibly going along with it, Peter just pops his head in and glares at them both with a massive blush on his cheeks.

“OH MY GOD YONDU NO. Don’t encourage him, ya stupid ass blueberry! Seriously, man, he’ll never stop at this rate and dude, we’re getting a damn audience here!”

And Drax interjects, because how rude of Peter to call his father a blueberry!

“Do not disrespect your father, Quill!”

And slowly, Yondu just looks over at Peter and sees his flustered look, because he knows that they were never the type for outward or open emotion. But after everything they went through, they could use a little bit of lighthearted teasing, and oh god it’s just so easy!

And he gives him a far too knowing smirk – like yep boy, ya wiggled yerself into dis, now ya gotta deal wit’it.

“Ey, ya heard him, son! Ya go on and treat yer daddy wit’ ‘sum kinda respect!”

And Peter just goes full on blood red, because oh my god Yondu why, and stomps out all the while screaming.

“THAT’S IT. IT’S OFFICIAL. I AM DISOWNING ALL OF YOU.”

Then Drax would look over at Yondu curiously; still hearing Peter squealing down the hallways.

“Is he always such –”

“A big ol’ drama queen? Hell yes. I mean, damn, th’ stories I could tell –”

“Oh! Please share your tales, Udonta! I would be overjoyed to listen!”

Hours later, Peter comes back totally drunk, and being far too done with his new extended family of embarrassing people and dad jokes, and oh my god are those two still at it after all this time? If I turn that corner they better not be exchanging baby pictures, what the hell.

And Yondu is still next to Drax, and he has this massively proud smile on his face. And he’s explaining in detail about the first time that Peter tried to shoot the special blaster that that he had given his boy for his birthday, and how their training session ended with Peter accidentally shooting Yondu in the leg instead of the Yaka Arrow that was meant as the target.

And Drax is just laughing out loud, as he often does when he is happy, and Peter expects Yondu to still be angry because of the accidental maiming that happened all those years ago and yet –

“Boy gave me one helluva scar! Still got it too! And oh damn, was he sheepish! Thinkin’ I was gonna up and whup ‘im for doin’ it. Hell, lookin’ back I probably scared im’ cussa my shouting an’ all…but I was REAL DAMN PROUD!””As one should be! To know that your child holds the courage to take down his target no matter who it may be! That shows true strength!””And even’tho dat shit hurt like hell, I was just thinkin, durin’ his stupid ass apology, how ‘dat trick shot coul’ be used on the field! Git’im all backed inna corner, and hav’im hit his target when ‘dey least expect it?”“Ahaha! Imagine the look on your enemy’s face when they are taken down by such a small and frail child!”“Hell yeah! I mean, I always ‘igured Petey to be sumfin’ special, but after all ‘dat, th boy just kept on surprisin’ me!“

Maybe Peter assumes that half of this conversation is just his drunken mind playing tricks on him, because Yondu was, and is proud of him? And Drax is agreeing? And they’re actually getting along? And it’s not just at Peter’s expense?

Obviously he had one too many.

And yet, the more he continues to listen in secret, the more he sees his old man actually smiling, and sees him getting along with his team, and not having to worry about anything that Ego put on his shoulders, or Ravagers betraying him for daring to care…

And sure, maybe he’s still getting used to all of this; the thought of him having an actual family.

…One that is filled with talking raccoons and green skinned warriors, tiny trees that enjoys his odd taste in music and a blue skinned dad with a flying arrow, as well as a brother that still is loyal even though he doesn’t have to be after what happened with the Ravagers…

Okay, so maybe his family is a seriously weirdass one…but it’s still a family nonetheless. And the more that Peter thinks about it, the more he walks away from the conversation, and finds himself placing in certain earbuds from a certain Zune and playing a certain song to help him deal with his awful hangover…

…He realizes that yeah, embarrassing and mismatched and crazy as it may be, this family is still his – and it just feels right.

There you go, Anon! You gave me the wonderful idea of Yondu getting to know the Guardians and just wondering where he went wrong in Peter’s upbringing because SERIOUSLY SON WHY THESE IDIOTS. And in turn, I gave you an idea where everyone else slowly just becomes totally done with Yondu – mostly Peter, because THE EMBARRASSING STORIES, DAD WHY.

As well as some additional feelings on top of the silliness, because why not?

Thank you so much once more for coming into my askbox and talking Yondad related headcanons with me! I deeply appreciate it, always totally have fun with it, and I surely hope that you enjoyed my little mini fan fiction that I gave you in return! (If anyone wants that posted on it’s own without additional talk, just ask.)

Lots of hugs, hope you have a great day full of joy and fandom feelings, and I hope to see you around soon! Pop back in anytime!

#peter quill #yondu udonta #yondu #drax the destroyer #guardians of the galaxy #Anon~#Ponnie Rambles~#Long Post~#Very Long Post~#I'm really sorry that this ended up taking so long my dear sweet Yondad!Anon friend!#Honestly I just managed to lose track of my writing for a few days and forgot where I wanted this to go #as well as ended up fumbling my words many times to the point where I had to rewrite this twice.#Originally it wasn't going to include the small fan fiction -- but since you waited so long for a reply!#I JUST FIGURED.#WHY NOT.#Why not give you feelings and something nice to help you feel better about the wait #SO I DID!#And thus the drabble of Drax and Yondu bonding and Peter being embarrassed but coming to terms with his weird ass family #BECAUSE WE COULD ALL USE A LITTLE BIT OF FEELINGS IN A HAPPY AU WHERE NOTHING EVER HAPPENS RIGHT?#So yeah I hope you enjoy reading over my thoughts and my words Yondad!Anon!#Feel free to pop in again if you want!#And if you wan to have the drabble posted by itself so you can enjoy it without everything added on top #well just ask!#I'll be happy to do that!#Anyway stay awesome Yondad!Anon and have fun reading over this you guys!#Lots of kisses~ ♥

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saviourfinn · 7 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Bodhi Rook & Finn Characters: Bodhi Rook, Finn (Star Wars), Leia Organa, Poe Dameron Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bodhi is the only surviving member of Rogue One, I'm Sorry, but it eventually gets better for him Summary:

Snippets of Bodhi's life, from the battle of Scarif to his meeting with a young ex-Stormtrooper, some 40 years later.

Bodhi survived Scarif. He got badly burned, but managed to make it. The others weren’t so lucky.

When he called for them through the comms, begging them to somehow get to the ship before he takes off, there was no response. He waited until the last possible second, adrenaline and visceral fear the only things preventing him from feeling the atrocious pain pulsing through his body. When none of the others - not Chirrut and Baze, not Jyn or Cassian, not even K2SO - showed up, Bodhi’s heart sank in his guts, weighed down by despair. He almost didn’t make the ship take off : he didn’t have anything left to live for, no family or friends or mission, he was tired and hurt and so sad he had become numb, and all he wanted to do was lay down on the cold metal floor and let the Death Star swallow him all, as it had swallowed his family and city.

But there were a couple of rebel soldiers who had managed to get to the ship on time, and he couldn’t possibly condemn them to the miserable fate he wished for himself. So with a heavy heart and blood dripping in his eyes, Bodhi dragged himself to the cockpit, and took off. They got off Scarif at the last second, the shock wave of the explosion tailing the ship on its way out.

It took months to recover physically and mentally, but after that Bodhi dedicated himself body and soul to the Rebellion. He wanted to stop the Empire, to help and save as many people as possible, so that the sacrifices of his fallen friends would not be in vain. So that the burned souls of Jedha, his Jedha, of Scarif and Alderaan may be avenged. So that, maybe, he would stop screaming himself awake every night, phantom pains eating at his face and the voices of the Rogue One crew haunting his dreams.

And finally, when Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Star, taking advantage of the plans so many people had died for, Bodhi felt hope like rarely before. It hadn’t been for nothing. Cassian, Jyn, Chirrut, Baze, K2SO and so many others - they hadn’t died for nothing. They had defeated the Death Star, at last, bringing hope to the Galaxy. Bodhi had accomplished his duty. The message he had carried had finally came through.

He became a war hero. If he wasn’t already one, after Scarif, his accomplishments within the Rebellion afterwards made him one. Pilot, spy, captain, he succeeded in many missions - and failed some. He became a legend, even (he was the Rogue One), a living symbol of hope and sacrifice. Bodhi didn’t feel like one, though. He felt older than he really was and tired, so tired. But the Empire was still alive, and he would fight them until his dying breath.

When the Empire was eventually beaten down, Bodhi felt a wave of joy and relief wash over him. He felt empty, too. Fighting them had become his only purpose in life and he didn’t know how to live normally anymore. While the others partied and celebrated outside, Bodhi got back to his room and lit up a few candles. One for each member of Rogue One. He would have wanted them to be there, alive and well and celebrating with the others. But they weren’t, so he closed his eyes and tried to picture them in the Force instead, serene and free. He had no idea what the Force looked or felt like but Chirrut had believed in it, and it was enough for him. Eventually, Bodhi came out of his room and mingled with his troops, fellow pilots and rebels clapping him on the shoulder, laughing with him and sometimes crying in his shirt. He could relate.

After the war, Bodhi settled back on Jedha, near the ashed ruins of what had once been the Holy City. New towns were emerging and growing all over the area, people rebuilding their lives as best as they could. He did the same, building his little house with his own hands, brick by brick, stone by stone. He helped his neighbors, became part of the community, and felt peace and stability for the first time in his life. Children of the area loved their Uncle Bodhi, loved his wild tales of rebellion and hope, and he opened a piloting school that quickly attracted many students. Most people weren’t repulsed by his scarred face - the war had been devastating for Jedha, tearing away not only cities, but also flesh and limbs, and he was far from being the only one whose body had suffered.

Years passed. Way too soon, the delicate peace following the fall of the Empire shattered, a new evil called the First Order slowly rising from the darkness. Bodhi was old now, wearier, and he couldn’t find in him the strength to go back to the front line. He had a husband, a good life he earned, and he felt like if he joined the Rebellion again - no, it was called the Resistance now -, he would truly lose his mind. It was already hard enough to keep the nightmares and the guilt at bay. He couldn’t do it, not again.

But if Bodhi had always been scared, he had also always been brave and selfless, so of course he helped the Resistance in his own way. He stayed on Jedha - he wanted to protect his still-recovering planet, his home, his sweet husband - but he started to train young pilots recruited by the Republic and the Resistance. He organized a network of messengers, pilots able to fly any kind of ship whose job was to gather and transmit vital information.

Still, the First Order gained influence, destroying the fragile new Jedi Order and annihilating the New Republic with another mass destruction weapon. Bodhi wasn’t Force-sensitive, but he felt the destruction of the Republic as he had felt the destruction of Jedha, as he had felt and seen Scarif go up in flames, his friends turned into ashes. History was repeating itself, and Bodhi was losing hope. What had been the point of Rogue One, if every few decades a new Death Star was born ? Who would sacrifice themselves this time, and would it even make a difference ?

However, hope was restored a few days later, when the First Order’s weapon was destroyed, and when it became known that a young ex-Stormtrooper had been the key to this victory. Bodhi’s heart swelled with emotion, and for the first time in years he left Jedha : he had to meet this man, the Stormtrooper strong enough to break conditioning, brave enough to overcome fear and obedience in order to do good.

Bodhi hadn’t realized it at the time, when he himself had defected, but if someone was brave enough to choose to do the right thing, even in the cruelest environment, then hope would never be lost. 40 years ago and encouraged by Galen Erso, Bodhi had carried this flame. And now it was Finn’s turn to be that beacon of hope, that light in the darkness. The promise that no matter where and when, people could do good and change for the better.

When Bodhi arrived at the Resistance base, Finn was still in a coma. He was stable and should wake up soon, the medics said. Bodhi sat a little by his side, struck by how young Finn was, by how vulnerable he seemed in his sleep. Had Bodhi ever been that young ? He was old and weathered now, and his troubled youth seemed so far away. His years in the Rebellion had passed in a blink, leaving him dizzy and tired, with the bitter taste of blood, ash and victory in his mouth. Still, Bodhi smiled and briefly squeezed Finn’s hand in his own, hoping to give the young man a little comfort in his sleep.

Bodhi spent the next few days speaking with various Resistance members. He caught up with Leia - when he was on Jedha they often spoke via holovids, but it had been years since he’d last seen her in person. They talked about Resistance business of course, but also about themselves. On top of Luke’s disappearance and Kylo’s vile actions, Han’s death had been almost too much for her to bear. Almost. But Leia Organa was strong and resilient, and albeit shaken, she was still standing tall. She had carried the Rebellion and then the Resistance for so many years, and was still convinced that they would set things right.

Bodhi also talked with Poe Dameron. The latter being the Resistance’s best pilot, in the past they had often communicated regarding recruits’ training and Bodhi’s network of messengers. This time though, they mostly talked about Poe firing the fatal blow to Starkiller base, and Finn’s exploits. Dameron wouldn’t shut up about him, telling every feat in great details : from freeing Poe and escaping the First Order with him, to fighting Kylo Ren in a light saber duel, nothing was spared. And Bodhi couldn’t help but smile, touched by the pilot’s genuine enthusiasm, and once again amazed by Finn’s courage. He thought about the long gone Rogue One crew, about how much they would have liked these kids.

Eventually, Finn woke up. Bodhi visited him a few days after, unwilling to crowd him more than he already was. He found Finn sitting on his medbay bed between two rehabilitation sessions. The young man looked tired but alert, a bright spark in his dark eyes.

“Hello, Finn.”

“Um. Hi ?” the young man cautiously answered.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while,” Bodhi said warmly. “I’m Bodhi. Bodhi Rook.”

“Rogue One’s pilot, right ?” Finn asked, surprised then enthusiastic. “Wow, I was reading about you just this morning. You’re one of the Rebellion’s best officers !”

Bodhi’s smile stretched with pride and sadness.

“Yes I am. But you know, before all that I was a cargo pilot working for the Empire.”

“You… worked for the Empire ?” Finn said slowly, shock written all over his face.

“Yes. And I defected.”

The young man stayed silent for a while, looking at him with more intensity than before. Then his eyes lit up, and he beamed.

“Wow, I had no idea ! That’s… that’s amazing, wow. I can’t believe they never mention that in your biographies.”

“Well, I guess it would tarnish the Rebellion’s reputation, wouldn’t it ? That one of their heroes used to be on the Empire’s side.”

“With all due respect, sir, that’s bullshit. You defected from the Empire and brought the message that allowed the Rebellion to destroy the Death Star. Hard to be more heroic than that.”

“Well, I got competition now,” Bodhi chuckled. “Mr. the ex-Stormtrooper who helped blow up Starkiller Base.”

Finn flustered, looking down at his lap.

“I’m not heroic,” he said quietly. “I’m scared all the time, and I honestly just improvise everything I do.”

“And how do you think Rogue One managed to accomplish its mission ?” Bodhi asked, putting a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “We were all terrified, especially me. We went in there blind, because time was running out and someone had to do something. And we succeeded. It cost us… many lives. But it saved so many more.”

At these words, Finn looked up at him, conflicting emotions dancing over his expressive face.

“Listen, kid,” Bodhi sighed. “Being a cargo pilot defecting from the Empire… I won’t say it was easy. It was one of the scariest, hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. And, you know… Despite some being better at hiding it than others, everyone is scared. Fear makes some people cruel, and it makes others feel powerless. But it also makes some people brave. Because choosing to do the right thing despite being threatened and scared, that’s bravery. And that’s what you did.”

A shy smile bloomed on the young man’s face.

“I guess that’s what I did.”

“Also, a Stormtrooper defecting ? That’s unheard of. You really are one of a kind.”

“Well, I hope I’m not.”

“What do you mean ?”

“I’ve been thinking… It would be great if other Stormtroopers also decided to defect. I’m not holding my breath, but I think that’s possible. I never thought I could escape the First Order, and yet here I am. I’m sure others can do it too,” Finn said with conviction, eyes filled with fire and hope.

Bodhi smiled warmly.

“I think you’re right.”

#bodhi rook #rebelfinn #star wars #rogue one #rookbodhi #my fic

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