#i can't handle this today ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missjoemarch · 1 year

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━━━━━ monday mood.

Hello~! Today I thought of starting a journal <3 because I was bored ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Honestly, idk wat to write abt (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) but I hav so many notebooks around. Mama gives me one every Christmas even tho I don't ask for one 💀

AnYwayS it's late alr (it's literally 2am) I hav class tomorrow. Crossing my fingers I don't wake up late–

... I jinxed myself (⁠ب⁠_⁠ب⁠), Emma thinks grimly while looking around the room for an empty chair. To be fair, I usually wake up late so did I really jinx myself?

She visibly brightens when a hand shoots up to wave at her frantically, and rushes to the empty seat beside her best best friend.

"Machan!" "Kocchan!" The girls beam at seeing each other.

"Why are you late?" Kumiko asks the other unpacking her books.

Emma shrugs, "I found some notebooks yesterday while I was cleaning. I was thinking maybe I should start journaling again... Hehe I got distracted and slept late."

Her friend looks unimpressed by this. "Knowing you, you probably didn't even write much OR finish cleaning..." Kumiko crosses her arms to stare Emma down like their homeroom teacher would if he found out she entered class late. "Emerson Brown, you stayed up reading mangas again didn't you?"

Emma smiles sheepishly, guilty as charged. She didn't expect less from her best friend. That girl knows her from her OTP to the many shōjo mangas hidden all around her dorm, especially between and behind the folded clothes in her closet.

"Hahh... Maybe I should tell Haida-kun he can sit next to me next time so you'll be pressured to come to class earlier." Kumiko looks away, sighing.

Emma gasps, "You wouldn't! You said you love me 😞-"

"You're right I won't lol. My heart belongs to Gallahan only 😩-" They talk at the same time.

"Bruh."

"I-I mean- Why would I do that to my bfff? I love you 🥺 🫶"

Emma looks down, a shadow casting over her features, "No. I get it..." She looks up with stars in her eyes. "Gallahan is the best!"

"I know right!!!" The two fangirls giggle over their best boi from the most recent manhwa they were reading.

The door opens and everyone stands up to greet their teacher, "Good morning, Sensei!"

As they sit back down, Emma grins mischievously. "Hehe~ I know another reason why you don't let Haida-kun sit next to you: You can't fangirl over our sensei with anyone else!" Emma nudges a flustered Kumiko playfully.

"H-hey! You're so loud!" She nudges her back harder, making Emma laugh.

• • •

"I can't believe it's only Monday and we have what? 4 presentations due on Friday already?? ... Can you believe it?" Kumiko rants while they wait for their takoyaki.

Emma lets out a long sigh. "Is the takoyaki done? (⁠●⁠´⁠⌓⁠`⁠●⁠)"

Kumiko shoots her now zombie-looking friend a sympathetic look.

"Here are your orders, miss."

She hurriedly thanks the seller for the takoyaki and hands Emma her bowl. She watches her friend's face color with life at the smell of food, and exhales in relief at seeing her friend back to normal.

Emma immediately eats one, whole. While eating her own share, Kumiko watches as sparkles and flowers appear around a happy Emma. She always has this aura whenever she eats food. Seeing her enjoy eating just makes you wanna enjoy food as much as she does.

"Ohh I have an idea!"

"Yeah? Tell me." Kumiko's reply is muffled by the food in her mouth.

Emma smiles even wider, "Café study date! You and me."

"OM to the G. Yes!" The two continue to make plans while walking to the main yard.

"We can take turns with the bill."

Emma hums in agreement. "Yeah sure! Do you wanna go to the cat café we went to last Christmas?"

"I don't think we can handle those cute distractions... Oh!! Maybe we can go to the café near my house!"

"Kocchan, what did you just say about distractions?"

"Just because the waiter is cute doesn't mean I'll get distracted 😌"

"kocCHANN 💀"

"Okok fineee." Kumiko stops at the sight of the main gate. "We're here. Let's just continue later."

Emma nods, "Kk! I'll walk you there. I need to throw this too."

"You're done already?"

"And you're not?"

Kumiko pauses and blinks at her friend. She laughs and the two hug. "Bye, Machan! See you tomorrow!" "See you, Kocchan! Get home safe."

Emma continues to wave until Kumiko turned the corner and disappeared from her view.

She turns around and heads to the dormitories. As she enters the third dormitory building, her phone rings.

𝘖𝘮𝘢𝘦 𝘸𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘶. (っ◔◡◔)っ 𝒰𝓉𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓊𝒾𝓉𝒶 𝓀💍𝓃🌸 ♥𝒹𝑒𝓀❁ 𝓉🌞𝓃𝓉💗𝓃 𝓉𝒶𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒶 𝓃💗 𝓌𝒶 🎀 🍓⋆

She gets excited when she sees the caller's name. Ma!

"Hi Ma!" Emma greets. "How are you?"

"I'm not your mA."

She pauses for a second then brightens at the familiar voice. "Lia-neesan!!"

"Hey Machan. How's your day?"

"Meh. The usual hell 😮‍💨 We have 4 presentations due on Friday already! And guess what?"

"Hm?" Her sister hums.

"I'm groupmates with annoying freeloaders ://"

"Bruh. Again?"

"I know right!"

"Good luck."

Emma laughs at her sister's tone. "Anyway, why are you calling from Ma's phone? Where is she? Can I talk to her?"

There is a pause from the other side. Worried that the signal became shit, Emma calls her sister. "Neesan? Can you hear me?"

On the other side of the call, Dahlia bites her lip. Hearing her sister call her makes her sigh. "Mama... She wanted to call you but Nico and Mikey drew on Drea's face so she had to go check that out. That's why I called instead to ask how you're doing... but she did want to call you! It's just..."

Emma doesn't hear anything after her sister told her about Ma checking on what happened to Andrea. What was I expecting?

Mama and Papa are always too busy for me. Always too busy with work and taking care of the four monsters I call my younger siblings, that they don't have time for me anymore.

Sometimes I feel like they don't even remember I exist.

I bet Lia-neesan was the one who reminded Ma to call me because she knows that I'm lonely here.

If it wasn't for her or Kocchan, I don't know if anyone would even remember me. In a lot of people's lives, I'm just some background character. Even my classmates or teachers don't notice me that much. I'm not that "special" or "important." Not even to my family...

"... Machan..." Dahlia's gentle tone snaps Emma from her self-deprecating trance.

"Yeah? I'm here." Emma tries to smile, forgetting her sister can't see her. She starts to rummage through her bag for the dorm keys. A distraction.

"Wednesday is my day off. Movie night?"

Emma sighs, "Lia-neesan... I have class on Thursday..."

"So? We can do it earlier and finish around 10. Or are you turning down the traditional cheese ramen I make for our movie nights?"

"Wait! I didn't say you couldn't come-"

"Too bad~ I have been perfecting my recipe in my free time. Oh well, maybe you can just eat Dahlia's Grand Ultimate Cheese Ramen of Yum some other time~ like maybe next week because I'll be busy with work~ or maybe even next, nEXt week~!" Emma could hear her sister smirking as she spoke.

Sighing, she gives in. "Okayyy fine. Only until 10!"

"Mhm. But I bet you'll be the one to ask to watch another movie." Dahlia chuckles and Emma couldn't help smiling at her sister's efforts to cheer her up.

"Thank you..."

"Anytime Machann~"

"Dahlia!" Emma freezes at the faint sound of her mom's voice.

"Ma, I'm talking to-"

"Dahlia!!"

Dahlia exhales at their mom's persistence. "Ma's calling me. Probably to help sort the quarrel out. Bye! See you on Wednesday."

The happiness Emma felt left as quickly as it came. "Ah... Bye."

Click!

She opens the door, only to be greeted by a dark, messy dorm. Kocchan was right when she said she didn't finish cleaning. Emma meant to, but she got distracted with the journal, which was still open and in the middle of a scatter of bujo materials, then the mangas she uncovered from their hiding places.

She drops her bag and flops on the Totoro bean bag, sighing.

Spotting the open notebook makes Emma wonder if she'd be able to write something... worth writing about. An adventure of a lifetime or even just a simple but nice memory with her family or friends (if ever she makes any more, which she probably won't). Other than Dahlia, it's been a while since she really bonded with the rest of her family.

She couldn't go home last weekend because she had to finish researching for a paper. Actually, she hasn't come home for the weekend for a while, but it seems like no one noticed anyway.

Even during most of the breaks, she wouldn't come home—not because she didn't want to, but because she couldn't. Just last sem break, there was a problem so she had to stay with Kumiko and her family. They made her feel at home and she very much enjoyed her stay there... but she also wished she could enjoy being with her own family again too.

She curls into a fetal position and hugs her legs tightly. Even with all the stuffed toys, mangas and other room decors, her dorm still feels empty.

A squeak interrupts her thoughts, erasing that numbing feeling of loneliness crawling all over her again. Emma turns to see her dorm mate peering at her intently from behind the cage bars. She smiles at her furry friend, "At least I have you, Ham-Sam."

Ham-Sammy continues to stare into her soul, reminding her of her promise to him this morning. She was in a rush, having no time to even heat food, so she just stuffed cold bread in her mouth and placed some on his food bowl too.

Emma pouts, Damn, I can't even be sentimental with the only living creature who lives with me ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Sticking her tongue out at her hamster, she grabs her bag and digs through the contents for the container she brought from the cafeteria. It's filled with greens, and Hammy's favorite: celery!

Taking one from the container, she waves it in front of him. She giggles as she observes Ham-Sammy go crazy at the sight of food.

He seems to squeak indignantly at her teasing and she snorts, unable to keep her laughter in. "Okay, okay! Here you go~"

Emma lifts the latch and opens the door. As she reaches to place the celery in his bowl, the little thing jumps on her hand and practically flies out.

"H-hey! Ham!!" She drops the celery and immediately chases after that sneaky rat.

"Come back here!"

"Hey! Don't you wanna eat?? I have celery!!"

"Ham-Sam you little-"

No matter what she says, the critter doesn't listen, enjoying his freedom (and giving his owner a hard time).

After scrambling here and there, Ham-Sammy finds the celery Emma dropped and stops to eat it.

Seizing the opportunity to catch him, Emma starts to tiptoe nearer. She opens her arms, forming an "o" to trap him. She starts to kneel slowly... then swoop! He squeaks in surprise as she catches him. "HA!"

A black hole suddenly appears right underneath her and she falls, screaming all the way down.

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