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caffiine · 3 years

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A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS. I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being” but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back.

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you.

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #oh and #saileen #just to make sure theyre not forgotten #dean winchester #castiel #Misha Collins #jensen ackles #15x18 #15x20 #15x19 #i fucking guess #dean x castiel #casdean #castiel x dean #supernatural season 15

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otherworldqueen · 4 years

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sentence starters compilation!

PICK FROM THE COMPILED LIST FOR SOMETHING YOUR CHARA WILL SAY TO CETUS, SEND IT TO MY ASKBOX AND I’LL MAKE A THREAD OUT OF IT.

these will be for canon threads, so please keep that in mind! i’ll reblog another thing later for AU stuff ;)

if you have an idea to go along with the sentence, feel free to let me know in my askbox as well

caring for stubborn muses bc good lord cetus is a stubborn boi

“at least let me clean the wound!” “you’ll be even worse off if you don’t let me bandage this.” “i really think you need to see a doctor.” “i made you some soup, and i’m going to sit here until you eat it. i can wait.” “your feelings matter too! i can’t help you if i don’t even know what’s making you upset!” “..i’m here if you need anything, okay?” “stop trying to push yourself! you can’t do this on your own!” “listen, i know you don’t want to, but.. maybe you should rest for a while. you’re not going to get anywhere like this.” “i’ll make you a deal: i’ll just get you some bandages, and nothing else, and you stop making a fuss over it.” “how long has it last been since you slept?” “have you even been taking your medicine?” “i know you think you have to get through this by yourself, but you have people here to help you.” “let me take care of you, for once.” “you’re gonna hurt yourself even more if you do stupid things like that!” “i hate to break it to you, but you’re not supposed to do any strenuous physical activity for the next couple weeks, and if i have to personally make sure you don’t every waking hour of the day then i’m fully prepared to do that.” “it’s okay to cry in front of me, you know. you don’t have to carry this alone.” “stop trying to act like you’re not bleeding out in front of me!! this is serious!” “listen, asshole. i’m gonna carry you home whether you like it or not. you’re not in any condition to get there yourself.” “oh my god, why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?!”

general caring

❝ i’m here for you. ❞

❝ let me help with that. ❞

❝ i’m here. ❞

❝ nothing’s gonna hurt you. ❞

❝ if they do it again, you tell me. ❞

❝ i’ll protect you. ❞

❝ i’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you. ❞

❝ let me take a look… ❞

❝ i’m a phone call away. ❞

❝ you should have called me. ❞

❝ here, sleep. ❞

❝ if you wanna talk, i’m here. ❞

❝ hey, shh, it’s okay. ❞

❝ i’ll never let you go. ❞

❝ you’re with me now. ❞

❝ nothing’s gonna take you from my side. ❞

❝ i’ll do what i have to. ❞

❝ i need you to stay here, okay? i got this. ❞

❝ it’s safe here. ❞

❝ i’m fine, let me see your face. ❞

❝ we’re gonna have to keep ice on that. ❞

angst

“I can’t do anything right.”

“Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you awake right now?”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Wake up! Please wake up.”

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Is that blood?” “…..No?”

“Please don’t lie to me again, I can’t take it.”

“Do you even still love me?”

“Nobody’s seen you in days.”

“Why are you awake?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“Can you shut up for once in your life?”

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”

“Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

“Leave! Me! Alone!”

loving/endearing

❛ the first time i met you , i had no damn idea i’d love you this much . ❜ ❛ i wish i could just protect you from everything . ❜ ❛ i noticed you . how could i not ? ❜ ❛ i’ll hold your hand the whole way through , don’t worry . ❜ ❛ i want you . so much . you’re all i fucking think about . ❜ ❛ you are made of comets and stars . do not let anyone treat you as if you are dirt and dust . ❜ ❛ i love how i can just look at you and be happy . ❜ ❛ i woke up and the first thing i wanted was you . ❜ ❛ i love everything you hate about yourself . ❜ ❛ pinky - promise me you won’t leave . ❜ ❛ i’m always tired but never of you . ❜ ❛ you’re it , you’re my person . ❜ ❛ you are the peace i crave in this chaotic world . ❜ ❛ now i wish we never met because you’re too hard to forget . ❜ ❛ i’d pick your thunder , i’d pick your rain ; over anyone’s sunshine any day . ❜ ❛ you steady me and stir me all at once . ❜ ❛ and then i knew that i could become homesick for you too . ❜ ❛ i just want to spend forever getting high off what it feels like to be around you . ❜ ❛ you’ve got something they don’t . ❜ ❛ what a plot twist you were . ❜ ❛ i told the stars about you . ❜ ❛ stay . i need you more than you think . ❜ ❛ you still feel like home . ❜ ❛ come over here and make my clothes smell like you again . ❜ ❛ i want to kiss you and it kills me . ❜

misc: game of thrones

❛ if you think this has a happy ending , you haven’t been paying attention . ❜ ❛ say please again , and you’ll wish you hadn’t . ❜ ❛ you forgot to ask if i’m a lair . ❜ ❛ everything i told you , is a lie . ❜ ❛ this isn’t happening to you for a reason . ❜ ❛ this is mercy . ❜ ❛ you’re no good to me dead . ❜ ❛ oh sweet , don’t cry . it will be over soon . ❜ ❛ you can see that your presence has become a bit of a problem . ❜ ❛ this is turning into a lovely evening . ❜ ❛ those creatures who came in the night , they wanted to take you away . ❜ ❛ you remained loyal . ❜ ❛ you will collapse under your proud weight and slump into a heap of nothing . ❜ ❛ you’re mine , until you’re rotting in the ground . ❜ ❛ remember what you are , and what you’re not . ❜ ❛ you’re not lying to me ? ❜ ❛ we should be honest with each other , don’t you think ? ❜ ❛ do i need to ask a second time ? i hate asking a second time . ❜ ❛ do you know how pleased i was when i saw you ? ❜ ❛ you’ve made me very happy . ❜ ❛ bastards can rise high in the world . ❜ ❛ everyone was already afraid of me . ❜ ❛ your pain will be paid for a thousand times over . ❜ ❛ none could challenge us . ❜ ❛ so now you come seeking help . ❜ ❛ do you know who i am ? ❜ ❛ what use could i possibly have for you ? ❜ ❛ you’re a good talker . i like that . ❜ ❛ no , you have to run remember ? those are the rules . ❜ ❛ i think that sounds like a wonderful idea . ❜ ❛ our time together is about to come to an end . ❜ ❛ you can’t kill me . i’m a part of you now .

misc: buzzfeed unsolved

i’m going to go ahead and cut you off right there, because i don’t give a shit.

what the fuck, is all i have to say to that.

i was born in the darkness

you have a very different definition of fun

do you think we’re gonna die here tonight?

let’s get the fuck out of here

can you even look at least a little bit worried?

oh, you’ve out dumbed yourself.

you do what you gotta do and i’ll do what i gotta do.

if you don’t believe then there’s nothing for you to be afraid of, right?

when’s the last time you ever walked into the dark woods?

give me a heads up if you start to feel murderous, i would appreciate that

one of these times we’re gonna die

i just heard a scream

well, if we just make it seem like we’re in on it, like… we’re here for the cult stuff

we’re here for the cult stuff, we saw the ad on craigslist!

you need to chill, you need to chill out

as we snuff these candles so too do we snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp

you know what? i’m not trying to scare you, but i got a bad feeling about this one

you wanna play? let’s fucking play

do try to kill me

are you even human?

sound like a fair deal?

more misc

‘ you might not have been able to save them , but you sure as hell saved me . ’

‘ you are not the best part of my life … you are my life . ’

‘ delicious , delicious . that man is delicious . ’

‘ he’s like a chocolate george clooney with a caramel gosling center . ’

‘ look at you being the bigger man . i mean , smaller bigger man . he’s taller . ’

‘ i know this sounds crazy , but that is not the worst thing that ever happened to me . ’

‘ i’m happier than i’ve ever been and i’m not playing by the rules anymore . ’

‘ it’s perfectly normal to change your shirt fifteen times before going to play video games . ’

‘ you say everything happens for a reason . i can’t find a reason for this . ’

‘ it absolutely kills me that i wasn’t there for you . ’

‘ that was one time . and i’m sober now . ’

‘ happy birthweek is not a thing . ’

‘ i truly believe everything happens for a reason . the challenge in life is to find that reason . ’

‘ it’s not that i don’t want to live . i just don’t want to live like this . ’

‘ i dare you to go steal her mic and sing ‘ ( insert song here ) ’ . your version , wrong lyrics and all . ’

‘ i have so many feelings that i can’t process because i’m too ashamed to admit that i have them . ’

‘ when i first met you , you said what you needed was a time machine . where would you go if you had one ? ’

‘ sometimes i get really sad for no reason . actually , a lot of times . ’

‘ i tried . i tried to be the man you taught me to be . i tried not to ask for help . ’

‘ you’re allowed to be angry . you’re allowed to feel whatever it is that you feel . ’

‘ i can’t do this . i can’t hurt you . ’

‘ if you’re in there , can you just knock three times please , so that i know that you’re still alive ? ’

‘ listen , i’m sorry . i tried . i can’t not care . ’

‘ not that you need my permission , but you deserve to be happy . ’

‘ you’re right , i don’t know what i’m talking about . ’

‘ i always thought the next apartment i would rent would be for us . ’

‘ i have seen porn flicks with more plot twists than your love life . ’

‘ maybe you should stop taking shots at me and get them back . or is it your plan to stand there and do nothing and lose them forever ? ’

‘ you’re always so fast to assume that it’s my fault , but guess what ? you don’t know ! ’

‘ you know what life is really about ? friendship . you and me . right here . yeah , us . that’s what it’s about . ’

‘ of course i’m scared . i thought you of all people could understand that . ’

‘ dare me to do anything and make it really hard . ’

‘ i was here , dammit , until i wasn’t . ’

‘ you can’t worry so much about tomorrow that you forget to live today . be here . ’

‘ it’s got to be the hardest thing i did in my life . ’

‘ sometimes you can’t do the fun thing – the thing that makes you happy . you have to do the right thing . ’

‘ whatever we did , whatever happened , we also created a life . ’

‘ how can something so small cause so much pain ?! ’

‘ the thing is i don’t have time to be angry because i have to use up all of my energy to make sure that he is okay . ’

‘ you’re not the boss of you anymore . ’

‘ slight problem . he found the pregnancy test . ’

‘ just because you’re scared , doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it . ’

‘ there’s nothing you can say to change the fact that i love you . ’

‘ this is your baby . it’s just , it’s too much . we hurt too many people . ’

‘ it’s bad enough you wrecked your marriage but don’t try to wreck mine . ’

‘ you may think you have a bulletproof relationship , but so did i . ’

‘ wow , i don’t want you to take this the wrong way , but i really wish you hadn’t met me . ’

‘ you don’t get it . i know you think i’m distant . i am just trying to survive . ’

‘ there’s a history of ‘ we don’t talk about that ’ in my family . ’

‘ as bad as it seems , there is good and you will find it . i promise .

#sentence starters

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shortqueershakespeare · 4 years

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ALL QUESTIONS!! ALLLLL (except the one you said you were uncomfy answering ofc)

welcome to my daily essay procrastination (dw it is getting done I've just written like 1000 words and I need a break from literature type writing lol)

1: Full name - Robin, not sharing the rest (like I said)

2: Age - 21

3: 3 Fears - Abandonment, clowns, sleep paralysis

4: 3 things I love - Theatre, languages, my puppy

5: 4 turns on - Being dominated, lip biting, gentle physical contact, increasing physical contact

6: 4 turns off - I genuinely don't know rn can u tell its been a while since I got laid lol, so I guess, being a dick, using certain terms for body parts,

7: My best friend - Char is prob my best friend!! we currently communicate exclusively through animal crossing post lol

8: Sexual orientation - Right this is somewhat challenging still but I'm gonna go gay

9: My best first date - Would you believe I've only really been on two? I can't remember the first one v well but I'd be inclined to say that because all that first love shit was great

10: How tall am I - 5' 3" i think??

11: What do I miss - uni

12: What time were I born - I actually don't know exactly but it was definitely the afternoon

13: Favourite color - Baby blue

14: Do I have a crush - Yup

15: Favourite quote - "The universe is seeming really huge right now. I need something to hold on to."

16: Favourite place - I've got a few, a corner in the orchard at Hom, the nook under my window in my room, the bench up on the hill where I walk the dog

17: Favourite food - Stir fry

18: Do I use sarcasm - I think I was fluent in sarcasm before I was in English tbh

19: What am I listening to right now - Right technically I cheated bc I just skipped a couple songs, but Bad Habit by Ben Platt and the puppy's snores

20: First thing I notice in new person - Smile or voice

21: Shoe size - 4 i think

22: Eye color - blue

23: Hair color - a literal rainbow

24: Favourite style of clothing - uhhh does generally gay count??

25: Ever done a prank call? - nope

27: Meaning behind my URL - one of my friends once called me the shakespeare of nicknames as my other friend called my such a slytherin so i mashed them up

28: Favourite movie - Moana atm, non animated either Let It Snow or Pitch Perfect

29: Favourite song - Obv this changes a lot but the last few days, Wonderland by Taylor Swift

30: Favourite band - Stornoway

31: How I feel right now - Too damn warm and a lil sleepy

32: Someone I love - my sister

33: My current relationship status - furiously single

34: My relationship with my parents - good

35: Favourite holiday - when my friend and i went to austria at the end of year 13

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - zero

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want a few transition tattoos, a dodie lyric, something in russian, something watercolour

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Originally because it was 2013 and my friends and I were v much the typical tumblr demographic, this one to vent feelings about some shitty situations

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - Pretty sure they both hate me, I don't hate them, but I hate how things worked out

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - Sometimes yeah

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - Nope

42: When did I last hold hands? - Probably when I last went clubbing?

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depends, I have to put T on, once i'm actually out of bed probably 15 minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - nope

45: Where am I right now? - on my sofa in my kitchen

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - depends where i am, home city it'd be katherine, clubbing in cam, jules probably or char, drinking just in cam, umme or porters

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - usually mostly with mum, currently exclusively with dad because quarantine

49: Am I excited for anything? - getting this damn essay done and sleeping

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - yep

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - not that often i don't think, but i am very good at hiding my emotions if i decide to

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - like 6 hours ago?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - not at all unexpected tbh

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - not at the moment, i think i've managed to stop trusting the person who would've fit this category

55: What is something I disliked about today? - my sister got super stressed and cried and i just wanted to make everything okay

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - ben platt

57: What do I think about most? - rn animal crossing or work

58: What’s my strangest talent? - i don't think i have one

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - nope

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - both, i love taking photos and i love having photos of me at important times

61: What was the last lie I told? - god probably something dumb like no i absolutely did not just steal your cup of tea

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chatting

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - no, yes

64: Do I believe in magic? - no

65: Do I believe in luck? - yes

66: What’s the weather like right now? - decent I think?? it's like 2 am so idk

67: What was the last book I’ve read? - What Is to Be Done? by Chernyshevsky

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Fuck no

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Bob, Bobbin, Robs, Rob, Stink, Little'un

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - that would probably be me getting a fish hook stuck in my thumb lollll

71: Do I spend money or save it? - both

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - the fact that this said a tongue and not my tongue is... unsettling.. but yes

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes

74: Favourite animal? - elephant

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - writing the essay lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - morningstar i watch too much lucifer lol

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - rain by ben platt

78: How can you win my heart? - hug me when i'm sad, send me things that make you think of me

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - he was there for me

80: What is my favorite word? - mousse

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - okay so i have five blogs and am so tempted to just list those but sewing-and-showtunes, aeternumregina, oneoveroneisone, ballym, xx-thedarklord-xx

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - STAY THE FUCK INDOORS

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - shapeshifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - do i like myself

86: What is my current desktop picture? - hamilton and laurens lol 8

7: Had sex? - yes

88: Bought condoms? - yes

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - yes

92: Kissed a girl? - yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - yes

94: Had job? - yes

95: Left the house without my wallet? - yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - yes

98: Played on a sports team? - yes

99: Smoked weed? - yes

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - yes

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - no

105: Been underweight? - no

106: Been to a wedding? - no

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - yes

109: Been outside my home country? - yes

110: Gotten my heart broken? - yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - no

112: Broken a bone? - no

113: Cut myself? - yes

114: Been to prom? - no

115: Been in airplane? - yes

116: Fly by helicopter? - no

117: What concerts have I been to? - dodie, stornoway, show of hands

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - yes

119: Learned another language? - yes

120: Wore make up? - yes

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - yes

122: Had oral sex? - yes

123: Dyed my hair? - yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? - i'm british

125: Rode in an ambulance? - yes

126: Had a surgery? - not unless my fish hook extraction counts

127: Met someone famous? - yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - yes

129: Peed outside? - yes

130: Been fishing? - FISH HOOK YES I HAVE I NEVER WILL AGAIN

131: Helped with charity? - yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - yes

133: Broken a mirror? - no

134: What do I want for birthday? - a boyfriend lol, or tbh for quarantine to be over

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? - oh lord who knows, i like the name scottie and archie for girls

136: Was I named after anyone? - my middle name is after my gran

137: Do I like my handwriting? - ehhhh

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? - my teddy bear

139: Favourite Tv Show? - Crazy Ex Girlfriend

140: Where do I want to live when older? - Berlin, Cambridge or London

141: Play any musical instrument? - used to play the violin v poorly

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? - fish hook or pets

143: Favourite pizza topping? - pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? - no

145: Am I afraid of heights? - sort of

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - don't think so

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - yes

148: What I’m really bad at - currently? being motivated

149: What my greatest achievements are - getting into my uni, finally finding an antidepressant that works, coming out

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - oh yikes it's way too late at night to open that can of worms

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery - pay for my damn top surgery

152: What do I like about myself - I'm empathetic

153: My closest Tumblr friend - @oneoveroneisone

154: Something I fantasise about - going to pride abroad

155: Any question you’d like? - I'm gonna pass this to the anons, ask me questions?

0 notes

thegeminisage · 7 years

Text

zelda blogging which is so deeply super spoilery, possible the most spoilery it’s ever been, so if you haven’t THOROUGHLY explored the central-north part of the map DON’T read it

aww some of these gerudo wear glasses! love it

i like the music here too but i kinda wish it had been the same melody from oot ; ;

omg riju is tiny!!! is she still young?!

aww her relationship with buliara is sweet they obviously care about each other a lot

AAAAAH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SWORD lmao maybe i should have gone to get it after all

oh my god a sand seal that gives you words of wisdom for food

ooh i get a free accessory for giving this lady some flint...hmMmMMmMMmmm

topaz i guess bc i'll probs need lightning protection soon? but no, i'm getting a helm...

haha sapphire to go with link's eyes?

ruby bc the flame armor is the ugliest and i wanna wear something else? LOL

went with sapphire iin the end MAY I NOT REGRET IT...

ooooh i shoulda been saving my gems....Dang

i mean, at least i have the 10k i need for the great fairy, but there's so much cool stuff here and i can't bUY ANY...

ah no i did get some opal and amber earrings :3

swim speed up and the ithers are just extra defense

"apparently the accessory maker and the teacher of the relationship class were both in a tragic love triangle, and now they are both single" nintendo this is an all women society please give me lesbians i BEG of you

ok, i need 1 ruby and 5 topaz to finish buying one of everything here. i'll remember

hahahahaha "you've gotta take your time when selecting gems and voe" wise words, lady

omg i found a bar but im too young to drink. nice, nintendo

lmao you can tell one of the ladies you're over 100 and she doesn't believe you dxkfjhg

ok so the hideout of the yiga clan is apparently to the northwest of here so i get to RIDE A SAND SEAL or surf behind one i guess. tbh im a little worried i'll break all my shields :/

i got a gerudo one that i really like!! goes with my scimitar and golden bow!

aww can i not wear accessories along with normal armor...? that sucks

LOL SEAL PUNS the options when talking to the sand seal lady are full of em im dying

wow i can't get this shrine unless i wind sand seal races which i can't do with the divine beast out LOL

jesus those sandstorms look so huge and terrifying...especially since i know they'll disable my map

i wanna explore but tbh i better just stick to the plot and away from those bad boys

oh JESUS i went to an outpost where they're monitoring the beast and it's. so big. and so loud and big and. so scary. oh my god, it's huge

oh FUCK i got too close and it started targeting me so i ran away and thankfully it stopped...definitely gonna take it easy on the exploration if i can help it

oooh no no no why is the air turning green out here...dnw dnw leave me and my map alone!!

uh, and where is my fucking seal...? i left it right HERE

ugh i had trouble mounting the one from before when i stayed in the monitoring outpost do they like leave if you stay gone a long time...? fml

awww this old gerudo never found the lovers pond ):

ugh i see so much stuff i wanna check out but im too scared to get off the seal for long :/ ESPECIALLY if i get stuck in a storm i'll want a way out

oh wow the air is so hot here even my gerudo outfit is useless

tbh, maybe that's a good thing, if i'm eating food i can wear armor with actual defense...much as i love these clothes they're great for getting your ass kicked

ok no seriously WHY does everyone from the yiga clan drop bananas..............

i know that everyone talks about how cool it is that this game just plops you down in the world and lets you figure it out for yourself without hitting you over the head with the instructions

but i just found a bow and some torches in a circle of lit torches with some obviously flammable banners nearby, so

i found the missing gerudo soldier!

"all i've ever seen them do is patrol and eat[in red text] bananas" LMAO WHATS THE DEAL MY DUDES

theres some bananas here on a table wtf do i do throw them at them?? lmao

OMFG LOL IT WORKED

dude pranced right over to it and pocketed it lmao

nooo i missed a chest...maybe i can get it on the way back out ;_;

LOL I FOUND AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BANANAS

this is so funny dkjfgh fck

urgh i wish i could just...snipe them from here. it'd be so EASY

im actually not even totally sure which direction to go, im all turned around

ok, one stationary guy at the door maybe i have to move him?

NOOO I FUCKING FELL THEY SAW ME

i couldn't even fight they one-shotted me and mipha's grace didn't kick in! that isn't fair at all

at least i can get the chest i missed

lol and i cant save in here. perfect.

ok yeah im gonna have to look it up bc as far as i can tell this room has no exit all the hallways just circle back around into it

apparently i CAN fight them...? they're just really hard?

this walkthru is so unclear lol there's a hidden door i can find with magnesis on the right-hand wall WHICH RIGHT...

WAIT fuck i finally see the exit

ah ok. wrong room for the hidden door.

master kohga!! he just...knocked himself out with his own attack. lmao ok

fuck this is SO FUNNY he is so funny

i love it even his bones cracked

isn't what he used to be, apparently

wow this is a boring fight he has a lot of hp and he's so far away the only way i can attack is arrows

and now arrows aren't working anymore...? obviously i'm doing something wrong

maybe i can reflect the rocks back at him

ok google says to drop his things on his head

HAHAHA HIS SPECIAL ATTACK FAILED

this undertale naruto motherfucker im crying i love him

"pretty soon you'll be gone! and not just from my line of sight!" i'm CRYING

fuck the ball rolled on top of him and made him fall

"COWARD! I SHALL BE REMEMBERED!!!"

what a fucking legend i'll never forget you master kohga i promise

aaaand thunder helm retrieved

but i gotta rescue that missing gerudo!

ah good her cell is empty!

lol im skipping sooo many shrines rn...i'll come back to them later i swear

oh NOOOO i got a memory!!!

urbosa the prankster!!! witht he power of lightning at her disposal!! protective of princess zelda!! i'm dying!!!

also im sad so zelda's sealing power mjst be what she used to seal ganon away but apparently in the past she couldn't make it show up for her whole life...?

aw no poor riju the helmet is too big on her

(give it to meeeee)

ok it's time for the divine beast bit but before i do jack or shit im going to upgrade my armor as much as possible rn

ugh you can't enhance the gerudo clothes...geez

FUCK YES HERE WE GO!

aaah riju is talking!!! i always get so surprised!!!

i did it!! tbh i had a really hard time keeping up with her...a dash was too fast but regular speed was too slow

AAH URBOSA IS TALKING TO ME ;_;

ohhh wow it's really walking around while on it

oh man. it's so big. it's so big

oooh you rotate the insides of this one!!

i get the feeling now i should've done more shrines in this area afterall, they have the same sort of electricity theme and they would've been good practice

okay that was...easily the hardest beast so far

i had to use a guide TWICE and i could barely understand the instructions, PLUS i got two terminals by sheer dumb luck

oooh boy okay a lightning boss im assuming here we gooooo

LMFAO i suck so much at this urbosa was like "there is valor in dodging"

thanks zelda i missed your captain obvious statements

geeeeez i just barely got it

oh EW that never gets any less gross

ohhh my god

"I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD OF HER" B Y E

oh my gOD?

she mentioned nabooru from oot BY NAME holy SHIT this continutity between games!!!

and "calamity ganon once took on the form of a gerudo that makes this all the more personal" jesus fUCKING christ

i feel so bad for ganondorf the man like

he didn't ask for this shit anymore than link or zelda

and at least they get to win most of the time he always loses and even when he does win he's hated, his win brings ruin

where's the fic where the only way to end the cycle is to become friends with him huh

or like, frankly: the true enemy isn't ganondorf but the evil that takes hold of him

when does he get to be the hero and fight it and smash it to little bitty bits!

oh lord and the blood moon as soon as i get back

do people like, see these towers popping up and beasts moving around? does it scare the shit out of them or make them hopeful?

anyway i hope now i can explore with less sandstorms

oh boy time to ride into a sandstorm gee i sure hope i dont get lost

LOL and first thing i run right into a camp of enemies just bc i was trying to stay in a straight line!!!! jesus

lovely! i am now hopelessly turned around in a sandstorm. i literally don't even know which way i came from

my sand seal is also STUCK lol

ah i passed through it! i'm right where i need to go!

omg I FOUND THE LAST GREAT FAIRY

i'm. i'm 500 short. oh my god

nothing i can't earn with 10 minutes of cooking, tho

huh...? she only asked for 1k...?

i could've SWORN i read someone asks for 10k at one point!

god what if i've been MISINFORMED all this TIME

ooh this one is orange and green

FUCK "i know what you're thinking...can't we just skip to the part where she enhances my clothes?" FUCKING PLAYED

holy FUCK just found my first molduga...i have to KILL one of these for a quest? jesus christ!

ohhh that actually wasn't too bad at all once i figured out the strategy...i've had more trouble with lynels and hinoxes

i'll be honest, the interactive map take a bit of both fun and "work" out of exploring...i look at empty areas and don't wonder "ooh whats over there" but think "ah i can just glance at that bit"

which should make me feel like my Pure Enjoyment of the game is being compromised, and i guess it does a little, but

i wasn't kidding when i said the need to explore was a bit compulsive so it's mostly a relief

ah from up here i see the sandstorm...i think it rotates around the desert? so, it's very possible to avoid and survive even if you do get stuck

anyway i missed several shrines but the quests for them are so complex and i am so Sick

of the desert. even worse than rain tbh

now the question is what to do next: master sword or rito beast

lowkey wanna wait until i get all four beasts before the sword, but

i know you do all four beasts and then ganon and that's it, so if i got the sword then it wouldn't help me for long

plus i'm a little tired of fighting the temperature and changing gear/eating food all the time, so......i guess i'll go check out the forest

maybe i'll see dinaal! i've only seen him once from veeeery very far away

im getting aaaaawfully close to hyrule castle i Dont Like This

lmao every time i catch sight of the divine beasts in the distance, the fact that i can SEE them from THIS far away, blows my fucking mine

they are SO BIG

im getting a much closer look at that flying thing and i'm almost CERTAIN it's a divine beast

just. jesus christ. so BIG

ohhh my gosh i can see the giant pink tree from here *_*

or maybe it's brown, maybe the deku tree is dead lmao

lol straight up skipped the bottomless bog and the enemies at the bottom bc i glided in from death mountain

whoa this tower has rock all over the top??

ah maybe it's so i can't glide to the big tree in the middle lol

not the lost woods if i don't get lost!

lol jk i got on top of it and there was a super cool sword here

aww rauru hillside...im sad

BRO im in the lost woods but its just playing the maze shrine music, i was so hopeful for saria's song

zora's domain having the same music set me up with false expectations t b h

omg if i go too high i die!! i can't follow my higher-ground instict here!!!!!

which is pretty cool but if all i have to do is wander around these woods with my map ON to find the master sword i am gonna be disappointed

even gerudo desert turned it off sometimes

ohhh okay if i wander off the path i also die i can't just go wherever i gotta follow torches i guess

mkay i googled it bc i got stuck and couldn't see anymore torches and it's wind direction! neat

see i feel a little bad about not figuring that out for myself but like...it's not Fun to die over and over bc you can't solve a puzzle. so #realgamers can shut the hell up lol games are for fun

the ember thing is SUPER clever tho and like i know this game is so like, praised bc it stops holding your hand, but i would have appreciated a TINY obscure hint

i did get as far as carrying a torch but i thought maybe i was burning off the fog or smth

omg i found korok forest!!!

there's my sword

said "oh" out loud

kinda wish the quest had been more, idk

but.

mmm not yet. not yet. i'll talk to some koroks first

haha and the very first one tells me to go get the sword all right all right

man. i always remember now that fi's been in there since the ages of skyward sword, sleeping

tbh i kinda miss her

even though she's way more annoying than navi could ever DREAM of being

for all we complain about compaions, they're a zelda staple and it feels lonely without them

i know not having one makes for a stronger game, i do, but...

really though. the master sword quest was SHOCKINGLY easy. i know i looked up the ember thing but geez it's the first truly disappointing this about this game

and my brother told me they made you work for it lmao but that was. not even close to Work. i've had more trouble at bokoblin camps

like. fucking weak. tbh. i'm so sad like i can't believe this game let me down

OH MY GOD

I TRIED TO TOUCH IT AND THE MEMORIES OVERWHELMED ME

and like at first i was like "ok if link gets his memories back with the sword i'll give them that, that's pretty sick"

AND THEN THE GREAT DEKU TREE STARTED SPEAKING

AND IT WASN'T LOST WOODS MUSIC BUT IT WAS FOREST HAVEN MUSIC

and i straight up burst into tears

"i have watched over hyrule since time immemorial" i know i know i was there i know i missed him so much one of the very first major zelda characters i ever knew i know technically he hasn't been there since the very beginning but he was my beginning

and i didn't even think i cared about him that much emotionally but i also welled up the first time he spoke old hylian in wind waker

oh god link's not WORTHY of the sword yet yes okay i'm here for this i knew this game wouldn't let me down

idk why i never considered the big pink tree might be the deku tree like i joked about it just a few minutes ago but i didn't seriously consider it so i was so surprised

and all the koroks running around and i know i KNOW they used to be kokiri it's almost like i came home, Really Home, the forest was where link began for me, not hyrule proper, he was always a child of these woods

ohhh my god i gotta mop up my face stream is soon!! jesus fuck

oh god now he wants me to pull it again

what if i'm not worthy? what if i am?

i don't have long left to play but i CANNOT leave it here, jesus christ

okay. i'm gonna try. i gotta try. courage!

oh my god it takes your LIFE?

and he said enough when i was down to my last quarter of a heart!! i'm gonna cry i was so close link tried so hard but he wasn't ready yet

i could eat food to max out my hearts but where's the fun in that........

ok. ok. i need to. step back a moment. fuck.

there's hestu! oh my god buddy you finally made it home!! me too pal me too

im gonna save and quit here before i talk to him tho bc like. i gotta stream. but Wow. god Damn

I KNEW THIS GAME WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN!!!!

LMAO I LIED JK im playing a bit more after stream

i talked to the trial korok and "do all the shrines here, it's based on the trials the legendary hero himself did" im crying!!! thats some History!!!

oh my god the koroks are so CUTE??

oh no this is so precious they've been waiting for him

sdfgsfdg "nooo vegetarians everywhere nooo that's my face" i wish i had thought to taka e a snap of that but i cant get him to say it again

aw omg they set up little stores and they only have one of many items please please i'm so proud of them

they set up a little bed for me!! they don't even want my money to sleep there!! i'm sleeping in a tree again, just like i was in oot ;____;

tbh it's so fitting that i did the scary mysterious thing of trying to pull the sword at night and i'm meeting the koroks in the brightness of day

i saw a shield resting on this rock and i had a tiny heart attack like OMG THE HYLIAN SHIELD?!?

ok. ok. i did the trials. i'm gonna see if i can get the sword now??

lol i have the same amt of hearts im not leaving to find a goddess statue and i was trying to boost my stamina anyway but maybe the food boost will help? unless they dont let me use it, we'll see

aaah no it DOESN'T omg

well, maybe one more heart container will do it...?

ugh i don't wanna go back and do the desert ones

me: already fast-traveling

Great, A Sand Storm, Just What I Wanted

fuck i stopped by town and there's a secret club that sells gerudo clothes for men

LOL why.........do they think dudes will feel weird looking pretty? come on

they said there's a high demand so i choose to believe there are lots of gerudo transmen. anyway back to the forest i got two more heart containers i pray it's enough i was SO CLOSE before

I DID IT FUCK I ALMOST DIED BUT I DID IT

IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST

ZELDA SEALED THE SWORD

she's been fighting 100 years and she has so much faith in link

more importantly she heard the sword speak to her im crying fi is in there fi and zelda/hylia meet again

her smile is like the sun, i would do much to feel its warmth upon me again ME TOO PAL im weeping my poor brave daughter i promise i'll save her i promise i promise

it's almost 7am but that was worth it. that was W O R T H I T

#this was hands down the best part of this game for me so far #like it's all been fantastic but this section hit me the hardest in the feels #personal #loz blogging #botw spoilers #so many big giant spoilers #huge ones!!!!

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survivorathena-allstars · 6 years

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Episode #11: “I Love a Good Heist” ~ Will

It fucking worked and I want to redact everything bad I just said.

i'm none of them saying anything to me yet and I'm also me not seeing this coming when Will was all of a sudden not in favor of the telling duncan to idol plan lmaoooo gg

is no one going to message me!! i am so freaking upset right now and i kinda just want to explode but really no one is going to try to justify themselves to me, i'm a little disappointed tbh and i got to learn how to win a fucking immunity for once

AMANDA AND HER MOTHER ARE ICONS I JUST GOT MY SECOND IDOL, I DO NOT DESERVE THIS

I'm so mad right now I want to SCREAM, why the HECK did I get that many votes, something isn't adding up and I'm just so frustrated. Also who made me the glee parchment, if you're reading this TELL ME it was the only thing good about tonight I am really just SO DONE WITH ALL THESE SNAKES. I'm being so extra right now but these people make me want to throw my laptop into the road.

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Cameron told Emily to vote Duncan :) We love a snake within our alliance :) I love a good heist :)

emily is a queen again btw, I love her

i don't know why i'm so salty

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HOLY CRAP WE DID THAT! Duncan didn't play his idol and I'm literally crying. We killed one of the biggest threats in the game. And I was behind it. What. the. fuck.

fskhjf god the lady at the dining hall asked me how i was and on the outside i was like "good" but on the inside im like "playing virtual editions ofr trash reality shows on the internet with strangers I have never met has left me feeling like i want to cry bc ppl lied to me have u ever been lied to how did u get over it and also can i please have some chicken nuggets" jesus and then someone talked to me and i didnt know how to respond bc i was having an EPISODE in the dining hall it's fine this is fine ________________________________________________________________ let the ass kissing begin

I'm gonna confess tomorrow, but I have become aware.... of some shady stuff, and am now in a really good spot... or at least I think I am

OH MY GAWD NO IDOL PLAY. ARE YOU MCFUCKIN KIDDING ME!? I dont want to say that I am large in part why Duncan is @ Ponderosa right now BUT WIG WOW IS THIS THE BIGGEST MOVE IVE EVER MADE IN A GAME OR WHAT. ALSO i'm here for weasel discourse: [1/11/18, 10:48:07 PM] Dana Barry: because clearly we both bein sneaky weasels [1/11/18, 10:48:54 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): kfashj who the bigger weasel [1/11/18, 10:49:01 PM] Dana Barry: OWEN PLEASE [1/11/18, 10:49:12 PM] Dana Barry: LETS NOT COMPARE WEASEL SIZES [1/11/18, 10:49:15 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): OMFG [1/11/18, 11:12:14 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): I’m gonna go eat now I’ll be back later [1/11/18, 11:31:53 PM] Dana Barry: pls eat my weasel friend ________________________________________________________________ https://vine.co/v/hWVwWE6UFqa/embed/simple Me when the people of this game give my dumb ass power and I crave more because I'm a goblin.

This was recorded before the vote im SORRY im a flop

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It's time to strike at Owen. He's onto us. We're making big moves left and right, and he knows that we're going to get targeted as threats soon if we're not careful. He said we have to get rid of Ruthie and Kevin, otherwise people are going to start thinking about taking them to the end. Of course, that's my plan. I think I want to sit with Ruthie and Ali/Dana at the end. Will, Emily, or Owen would surely beat me. I'm here, masterminding moves, deciding whether or not someone easy goes home, and someone is going to target me soon. My idol can only save me for one round, and I need to make sure it's a good one. Lily was a good move. Duncan was a better move. Owen could potentially be the best move. Then I know my core four is completely loyal to me and only me. This is my ideal boot list now: Owen (10th) Ashvika (9th) Kevin (8th) Zach (7th) Emily (6th) Will (5th) Dana (4th) And then a final three of Ruthie (3rd), Ali (2nd), and myself (1st!) That's all. Love you. It's time for me to go focus on winning again.

Boy I'm mad. Duncan was the one person who I could put some trust in--and even then there wasn't much--and now he's dead. Now I feel like my game's already gone through the gutter and there's no hope left. Shoutout to Ali and Cameron specifically for both telling me "Oh yeah I'm sorry for not keeping you in the loop at the first vote, I promise I'll do it this time?" Then, what did they do? Not that. I'm...mediocrely okay with Ali because like Ali's nice and a sweetheart (actually I'm kinda mad at Ali because I pm'd him asking what happened like immediately after tribal and he never responded even though he's talked multiple times in the tribe chat...wig). But Cameron??? This is the third time. We've voted together once, at the Madison tribal, even though you've told me multiple times you want to work with me. I was okay with being 'left in the dark' with the Lily vote because I wasn't actually in the dark. I feel like this was a chance for him to prove his word to me, that you do want to work with me. This was the chance to make or break my trust. And both times I've come to him before the vote and he's basically said 'oh yeah it's still this way like we said haha.' And then??? It isn't lmao. Like if you don't want to work with me, cool! I understand that the game rolls out that way! But don't come to me with fake promises then, saying you want to work with me, only to actually vote with me 3/4 times. At some point no amount of apologies will make up for your actions. I don't know if I've reached that breaking point, but it's getting close. I get that I started the merge on the wrong foot, and that I should've voted Lily instead and sticking with Ruthie was a mistake. I know I got myself into this mess but I'm just annoyed and frustrated. I've been perfectly honest with everyone about who I'm voting for each round, and I get silence and vague responses in return. If I feel mad enough tomorrow I might try going for Cameron since he has an idol. Or at least like throwing his name around and spilling that fact. But who knows who knows he has an idol though. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, I might get home which I honestly wouldn't be super upset at this point and I would get to be a bitter juror too!

I love Dana

I am an Owen stan again too, I love him. I need to confess more, because it might be big move season this round, but I also don't knowwwwwww. AHH, I hate this yikes. I just get scared by Dana/Will/Cameron as a grouping, with Zach and Ruthie is already 5, which is scary

i have realized i'm quite irrelevant in this game and basically out of the loop without duncan because all these supposed idols that everyone has keep popping up left and right. i feel like my time is coming soon

"Who do you trust the least" "Who is most likely to flip on their alliance" "Who is ruining their own game" "Who is at the bottom but doesn't know it" "Who is going to go home for being the biggest threat" "Who is going to be blindsided by their alliance" literally they wish they were as relevant as me huh ________________________________________________________________ Actually though, I am going to make sure every one of these comes true. Let's see here.... "Who do you trust the least" "Who is most likely to flip on their alliance" "Who is ruining their own game" "Who is at the bottom but doesn't know it" "Who is going to go home for being the biggest threat" "Who is going to be blindsided by their alliance" Flipping on my alliance? Easy. If they insist, that's what I'll do. I will reallllly make it clear that they were right in trusting me the least :) And! They'd better hope! They take me out! For being a "threat" because if they do NOT, I am going to make sure each and everyone one of them is GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They better not feel comfortable for even one second bc if there's one good thing to come out of this, it's that I no longer feel comfortable at all and hopefully me playing on edge will end up better for me. I just had an hour long call with Ali and we basically like....discussed everything. I don't know if I can trust him, but I sure as hell can't trust my alliance to take me to the end, so what have I got to lose? I told him I know about his idol, which I think was a move to hopefully get him to open up to me. And he told me that the merge idol has been taken from the shore. I'm assuming Emily, Ashvika, Cameron, or Ruthie have it bc they searched there before Ali. Ashvika I straight up asked and she said no.... I have a bad feeling Cameron is sitting on two idols rn and I don't know if I can handle it. But I was like.... idk I said a lot of things to Ali and I meant them. He said he felt like he didnt have a number one, and I told him we could be there for each other. He has a spot in my final three now whether he believes it or not and I would gladly sit at the end with him at this point. But we need numbers and we need a play. It feels so soon to try to flip on will dana Cameron but like..... If we wait until next vote to idol someone out, and Ruthie/Zach are glued to them, then at final 8 it would be four on each side (assuming I can get emily and ashvika to be with ali and I, and Kevin leaves at 10 which idek if it is happening). So that makes me think like....okay so maybe a move needs to happen at 10 that puts Kevin, Emily, Ali, Ashvika and I in a majority? But it's so fricking risky bc idk if they're going to come after me or come after Kevin or Emily or....idk. It's going to be rough as hell. But I'm ready. I don't know if I'm going to win this season, but I sure am going to try my hardest to change it. ________________________________________________________________ (On the other hand I love Dana, Wil, Cameron, and Zach as people so idk I'm stressin mad rn.)

Here's my long confessional like always explaining the events of last round and then the progress for this current round. So last round was just a mess. I brought up to Dana the night of immunity results (congrats Will you freak) that Duncan is a threat. He has an immunity idol and a hideout advantage, if we don't do it at 11, he'll be free till technically final 8 without being targeted. In addition, it limits our options down the line. Dana agreed and said it wasn't bad, and ended up running to people with this idea without crediting me. Grrr. It's fine. Dana, Will, Cameron all excluded Owen in this plan and I believe think they orchestrated it themselves when in reality it was kind of my idea but they pushed it forward so it's whatever. I called Emily in panic because I didn't want to exclude her and little do I know that Cameron already informed her of the decision before I finalized mine. In the end, Duncan leaves 8-3. Post-vote, I am trying to reestablish any trust I have with Ashvika. I can sense she doesn't trust me which is completely reasonable and fine, but I am wanting to work with her. Kevin is irrelevant but I want to talk to him and form a good connection with him. Now, this vote. Cameron was my target. Will talked about how he wanted Cameron out to Dana who obviously relayed that information to me, and I think Owen was fine with doing it too. I am also trying to formulate connections with Owen despite the fact that he knows I blatantly lied about the Duncan vote and all. However, Cameron won immunity, so good job to him. This means that my target probably shifts to one of two people. First is Kevin. He's kind of an easy vote, a person who wasn't really around and is definitely the most inactive. If we need an easy tribal, it's him. Ruthie's another easy vote but right now is not her time and I genuinely love her, but I do enjoy everyone so I can't use that. I'm not sure how likely this option is. I think I could get it rolling if need be. My second is Ali. This is just because recently i've felt really distant with him. I think I can trust him, yeah, but from what I know Owen is fine with him leaving and it's like... yeah. I think Ali should go relatively soon. If the votes are on him i'm most definitely going to vote him out unless i'm frightened of an idol play. I am honestly kind of scared of the alliance consisting of Cameron/Will/Owen/Dana + Ali. It's like... they're turning on each other briefly. Cameron is rubbing people the wrong way, which I love him and all truthfully, but he is kind of aggressive with dominating votes and spearheading decisions, which I think is ending up biting him in the ass. I truly think he'll be one of the next couple of votes. Ali is like the alliance's +1 so if they can vote him out, i'm down with that too. Ashvika, Emily, Ruthie, and Kevin are kind of on the outs of that alliance (with me of course) but more distant than myself. I need to utilize those bonds to kind of renege the major alliance cause I don't feel like being cut near the end. No ma'am. So having Ali leave this vote, then Cameron next vote, followed by Kevin leaves a final 7 of Ashvika/Ruthie/Owen/Zach/Dana/Will/Emily. In this scenario it's like... it gets hard. I want to work with Emily, but there are so many people here that are such strong contenders. Owen, Dana, Will and Emily are all phenomenal players, and i'd love to consider myself amongst those people too (PARTICULARLY IN THIS GAME! NOTICE THAT I LOVE THEM ALL AND THINK THEY'RE ALL GREAT BUT IN THIS SPECIFIC GAME THAT'S MY VIEW ON STANDINGS). I don't want to be goated, which I potentially could be since i'm acting weird and dull this game, so maybe I could swap Kevin in the final seven and drop another big threat, like Ashvika or Owen. The people who I trust the most right now are Dana and Emily. I trust Owen to an extent, and I really like talking to him. Ashvika and Kevin and Ruthie are just meh, I don't trust them. Cameron is to a degree but he's sketchy. Will is just... ugh MSDGLKDSG I love him I think he's so funny but he probably hates me. Ali is trustworthy but I feel like that's relative amongst all. I really don't know who i'd like to sit against in the final three (or two but likely three). I've reached my goal of jury and 100 days so i'm content, but I want to win. I think my best chances would be against Ruthie and Kevin, but I don't know. Dana needs to go soon too. Like, maybe final 4-7 is when i'd love to see her leave because I bet everyone views me as her bitch and sure, I kind of am at the moment, but that's partially strategy. Everyone thinks i'm her +1 so to those that like her, i'm safe. They know they can use me. Then to others, i'm the weaker of the two and therefore they have no valid reason to target me unless they want to weaken her, in which case bye bye. This game is so complicated and votes are NEVER decided until last minute which is bothersome but kind of fun. I think I have a high chance of leaving at this upcoming tribal truly, or at least receiving votes, so i'm excited to see what's to come. Hopefully i'm still here but if now, it's been a great season and i'm glad I got the chance to return and hopefully make y'alls slightly proud wooh!

Okay lots to confess I wish I confessed earlier in the round so I wouldn't have so much to recount. So anyways, the Duncan vote happens, and it still makes me sad. I will never understand why he felt so betrayed by me and kinda continued to throw my name out there because I wanted to go far with him. Also I called with Emily after the vote and I already knew at this point she leaked me idol (which Emily *why*). I dont understand why everyone felt so betrayed by me, when I was trying to loop everyone in? It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, I called with her and we seem good again, and I do want to work with her moving forwards. ________________________________________________________________ I spoke with Ashvika and explained why I voted Duncan, and I think she is the person I wanna work with most now, like Id love to go far with her, because I am an Ashvika stan. Touchy Subjects was very interesting, Will guessed me for a lot of the negative game ones which suggests he doesn't have much faith in my game and I got who does everything think has an idol, blind to manipulation, who is gonna need to be apologised to, who is getting blindsided. Lots of very scary ones. So... I'm nervous. I'm also nervous becuase I called with Owen yesterday, and as normal, I said waaay too much to Owen, and while I wanna work with him going forwards, I also think he could easily say what I said to LWD and get me out. ALSO IN OTHER MC'FREAKIN NEWS: I HAVE ANOTHER IDOL. AND NOBODY IS EVER FINDING OUT. I am using the fact that everyone says I leak stuff (because I do) and "leaking" that shore 23 is empty, so that nobody thinks I have it. I wanna use the other idol soon, so nobody thinks I have one teehee

Okay the gag is Duncan and I apparently got found out or were suspected or something so congrats to them for sleuthing successfully but also according to Ali people thought Ashvika and I were close??? Which??? Isn't true??? I hardly even know her??? sjlks Anyways I love these Touchy Subjects answers they make me feel really good about myself. I basically threw the challenge because I didn't feel like I had a good chance of winning anyway, and I'm not really in the position to offend anyone lmao which is evident by the answers. Apparently people trust me the least even tho...I've told pretty much everyone who I'm voting for in the last round. On an exciting note people want to vote for me tonight! At this point just take me out of the game and catapult me into the sun. I'm ready for it. The one person I wanted out of this game won immunity so. I don't know what my plans are but accepting death seems like a good idea right now.

This jury is literally gonna be pissed at everyone so I need to start doing whatever I can to make them think we're close, that we're friends. I'll talk to Kevin about Netflix, I'll tell Ashvika she's a queen, I'll give Owen a backrub idgaf but I need to make sure Cameron looks worse than I do. None of them think Ali's done anything, and Dana...they think she's cracked too. The only person I'm okay with beating me is Dana and that's that.

Something good happening at tribal council? For once there's even a possibility. After chatting with Owen we're trying to start something. Him Ashvika and I all voted for Ruthie last round, so if we stick together that's 3, and we're hoping for at least 5. Our best bets are Emily and Ali. I have no idea if this has a shot of working tbh but I feel like tonight's all or nothing. Unfortunately we can't get Cameron. I tossed around Dana or Zach's names to Owen but like, whoever Ali and Emily (or whoever we can get) want to vote, we'll vote. I don't know how solid the majority alliance is, or who's in cahoots with who, so this is a very...fragile, could-break-at-any-moment plan. If there's any way of convincing these two, the Touchy Subjects answers show that they're not safe if they stick with that side. Time to actually talk to them though and see what's up tho ahhhh ________________________________________________________________ I told Ali Duncan said Dana said Cameron had an idol. Ali revealed that he voted for Duncan because he was telling people Ali told him about the idol. Ali then said to me "I knew he was covering for someone it must be Dana." The gag is I honestly don't know if it was actually Dana skdkdkf I remember her name in the conversation we had but like??? But if it convinces Ali then it works for now

Why did I put Owen to be blindsided by his alliancE? bc I’m his alliance And I’m gonna blindside him

So Owen voted for me not Emily hmmm Maybe he was the one that made the pretty glee voting thing What’s that paper called again? Omg yes parchment

I’m really scared for this tribal. Owen, Ali, and I have made an alliance and are talking about voting with Kevin and possibly Ashvika. I want to pull in Zach and maybe Dana, but the problem is,,,,, Owen and Ali and Kevin want to vote Dana. I want Dana to stay. I don’t know why. I think I’m just bein gay. I want Will out tbh. And I would’ve wanted Cameron if he wasn’t fucking immune but NO of course I have to be HORRIBLE at tie breakers!!! I’m really shocked by some of the things I got in touchy subjects like wtf man. You’ll enjoy voting me out? You wish you had gotten me out pre-merge? You have to apologize to me after this game? Interesting. This is one of those Touchy Subjects results that I realy wanna take notes about. Usually I don’t take them too seriously but I’m #offended. Ugh I really want to work with Zach but I’m scared of Dana and him being a duo sort of like how Lily and I were a duo I guess? Ugh. I don’t know how to like,,,,, get around that. There’s a lot to figure out about this vote. But I think we can get something going. All I know is that I’m not really feeling like voting for Kevin tonight. ;-) we’ll see what happens

I am LITERALLY a rat and I feel guilty but if this works out then it's fine. I'm fine. Everything will be fine. I need to keep people in this game around me and I'm gonna take heat for it and Cameron might idol me out but like....oh well. ________________________________________________________________ Basically the pieces came together, Emily Ali and I made a chat and we all like fkshd worked on getting Kevin and Ashvika on board. Emily thought she could play a vote negator to make it 5-4 but she cant use it yet SO instead I was like ok I'll try to get them to split the votes somehow and both Will and Dana suggested it anyways kfadsjh lmao so hopefully it's like..... 5-3-2 tonight. I wanted it to be Dana at first bc if it does somehow tie 5-5 I felt like Ruthie would flip and vote Dana but not Will, but maybe now Zach would flip and vote for Will idk probably not. Also I still love Will :'( this game will feel weird without him but he's a huge threat. So is Cameron and Dana tbh like everyone is lowkey trying to press their own agenda and I think they're getting weary of one another but....idk. I feel like I need to do this now bc it'll be me actually taking things into my own hands rather than Kevin leaving and me relying on dana or will wanting Cameron out whenever they decide. I wish Will didn't have to go and if this all blows up on me then fine but like...yeah. god. ppl are gonna be upset with me, wigs all around ! ________________________________________________________________ THE ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER IS CRYING BUT THE DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER IS LAUGHING im so ugly i cant wait for this to go wrong and then ppl laugh at me for being an idiot when they read my confessionals after ________________________________________________________________ Lowkey it seemed too easy to get will and dana to want to split the vote and now Ali has disappeared too? I feel like Ali spilled and now theyre all just gonna vote for me but if thats the case then oh well I was never gonna win without trying to get trust in people

STOP STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT good bye dana barry .

Finally a vote where I know what’s happening and the people that control everything... don’t. I’m excited! My first blindside where I’m on the like... right end? Wow. I love taking matters into my own hands. Will made an Azores alliance and I feel HORRIBLE because I’m voting him out this round lmao. And Cameron made an alliance with Will and Cameron and I just GOD at his is going to be hard because I could be ruining some potential allies... but also... who cares? I’m making a move, y’all! If it doesn’t work out, then so be it. But I’m putting my trust into Owen, Ali, Ashvika, Kevin... people that I really didn’t expect to work with all together but I’m thankful nonetheless. I’m also thinking this group of five is good because Kevin, Ashvika, and Ali will be easier to beat in the end? I think? Idk. I’m trying to think ahead as much as I can, and weakening Cameron & Co. is the first step to that. I feel guilty but this is what I have to do to win. It’s All Stars, Emily! ALL STARS! GET UR HEAD IN THE GAME!

I made an alliance with Will and Emily. I want Will to think he's my #1. He's not. I told them we're winning. We're not. Well... they're not. me: this alliance is winning Me: knows that neither of these two can make it to the end

Kevin is voting me yikes.com. I'm getting idoled out yall and it has been fun. Ashvika and Kevin have idols and I get majority = HELP ME PLEASE AMERICA. I'm on call with ASHVIKA and she says THEY ARE VOTING OUT WILL. WHAT DO I DO PLEASE. AND APPARENTLY IF THEY DONT VOTE FOR WILL THEY ARE VOTING FOR ME. If this is all a scare tactic.... it sure is working!!!! More to come later I have 20 minutes to entirely flip this vote ladies. Mama IS staying tonight know that!

OKAY SO! I voted for Ashvika. Why? Well, two or three reasons. 1. I've voted in the majority. Every time. I can't do that. I will become a target and I want to look like I'm being bobo the fool. 2. If someone (Ashvika) plays an idol on Kevin, it burns her. Also, it protects us (Me, Ali, Dana, Will, but the latter 3 because I'm safe) in the event that someone does idol Kevin. Also, I'm so glad I won immunity. It's a bad time for me personally and this made everything easier. Thank you, survivor gods. Thank you.

kevin and ashvika couldnt keep their mouths shut and now I'm getting idoled out. it's been real xoxoxo

I'm literally about to go home, but at least if I do I was able to crack the code and see it coming first. Kinda like Margaery in GoT, she saw it coming but she was just a little too late to stop it. ________________________________________________________________ Well I mean like I called it so y'all aren't as slick as you thought, there just really wasn't anything I could do. I got outplayed by snakes who were willing to throw away the last ounces of respect I had for them, but like I would've done the same and just been more respectful about it. And if you think writing "I hope it's a tie" in your voting confessional absolves you of anything you gotta like...use your brain sorry, if you don't want someone to go home you don't vote for them - it's not that hard! But it's been a fun game and this isn't the last of me (sorry if you wanted it to be). Cast me in your games more often I'm fun!!! xoxo

Will becomes the 11th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 5-3-2 vote, and the 3rd member of our jury. You can see Will’s preseason interview here.

#NotAllFunAndGames

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survivorsentinelislands · 7 years

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EPISODE 9: HOW DUMB DO THESE PEOPLE THINK I AM ~Darian

Okay I feel like I haven't even done a real confessional all season but I haven't had too much going on this whole game until now. I've been in a few alliances but every vote I've been part of has been a unanimous vote (even my poor Coffey cakes :( <3) then Logan quit last vote right as it was about to get messy. So basically right now Ned and I seem to be at the center of this tribe. He's my number one right now for the most part. I trust Ned 100% and I'm pretty sure the feelings mutual. We've both mentioned how we're each others number ones and stuff but I also adore Keegan. I seem to tell him a lot of stuff without even thinking about it and he could also be my potential number but I don't know where his head is at in terms of that. I think he trusts me since he told me about Darian's idol before Darian did and some other stuff that happened but like I don't think I would be his number one.

Okay so anyways! I'm in this alliance with Daisy, Ned, Josh, and Sara. Logan was there, too but they quit (which sucked because I love Logan and am literally only in this alliance because I adore Logan). And we came up with a plan to vote out Darian but he found out and was gunna play his idol. Then we decided that Carson would be the back up plan but then Carson found about that, too. After Logan quit, Daisy came to me telling me how she thinks that Sara is the one who leaked the info to Darian and Carson. Now let me tell you, I actually laughed so hard because I know for a fact that Sara gives approximately negative 12 shits about this game and I've seen her say that the only reason she won't quit is because she doesn't want to leave me, Ned, and Daisy alone. But obviously I didn't say anything because it was actually Ned and I leaking all of the info but now us three have our own separate alliance that we're part of that I actually really like.

So then Ned and I are over on the old Andaman alliance which I like because I love Keegan but I don't care about Darian or Carson honestly. But I want to keep Keegan safe and the best way to do that is just to keep that whole alliance safe. That's really hard because Darian is honestly one of the hardest people to work with. He can be a really nice guy sometimes and I think sometimes he means well but like I could tell him he has to pay me every time it snows and Maine and I'd probably be a billionaire. He literally believes everything everyone tells him. He thought that Daisy was going to flip and vote for Logan and he thought that Logan was going to vote for Daisy. Even AFTER I told him that I thought those two were really close and that they were basically best friends on Nicobar. But like of course he didn't believe it, he just told me that Daisy was on the bottom and desperate. Like no why believe someone who has been on a tribe with them and actually observed their behavior when you could just take the word of someone you've literally just met? Sounds about right to me (eye roll emoji).

But for this next vote as long as Alex doesn't win I think he's gone because frankly who is he? Like the first night we merged I tried to talk to him and he just said "hey its been a long day I'm heading to bed but we'll talk later" and then proceeded to talk in the tribe chat so that right there makes me not want to talk to him again so I didn't. And he hasn't reached out to me at all so like whatever. Him going is the best possible scenario for me especially since it could break up anything Keegan and Darian have. I don't know how close they actually are but he does agree that Darian's gullible and says stupid things sometimes. I think that he would eventually want him out because he could be bad for our games. So yeah if Alex doesn't win Daisy, Ned, and I are going to get Keegan to vote with us which he's on board with even after I told him that Darian isn't too hot on the idea. Apparently Alex doesn't like Keegan so I think that's why he wants him out so bad. I want him gone because Alex is the only person I'm not aligned with. But yeah so if Ned, Daisy, Keegan, and I vote for Alex, Darian, Carson, and possibly Alex all vote together (probably for Daisy), then Sara and Josh vote for Darian then it'll be a 4-3-2 for Alex and it'll be awesome. I do think that I'll go to Sara last minute and say 'hey Daisy wanted to leave you out of the plan because she thinks you're spilling stuff to Darian but you should vote for Alex' so I can get Sara on my side. But this whole plan is contingent on Alex not winning immunity so if he wins again I'm gunna scream. I'm also gunna cry and laugh because how can he know the answers to any of this if he literally doesn't talk to anyone?

Well, the reward was given out to someone from the other alliance so that's nice! But luckily Logan walked so we didn't have to have that messy af tribal. I still don't trust daisy after her lying to my face!

GIRL, I HAVE SCREENSHOTS OF YOU SAYING MY NAME!!!!!

How dumb do these people think I am. I might have been messy as FUCK before but after immersing myself into multiple games I'm here to play for real. There is only 9 people left and I'm still sitting pretty with a damn idol from DAY ONE! Ok soooo this is my game to lose. Let's see if I can ride this thing to the end

***LATER***

Ok ok ok ok

So remember how day one I found an idol. Well I've kept it in my little pocket all this time. And now I've still got it. AND THE MERGE IDOL!!!! That's right baby two idols!!! This is going to be lit

We just did Touchy Subjects, and I got some pretty good results. People voted me as "too nice to play this game" and the person they'd most want to take on a romantic date, which tells me two things: everyone likes me, and everyone underestimates me. Perfect. That's exactly where I want to be. I've been in a season where I voted out my #1 ally and won every immunity until the end, sweeping the jury. If these people knew how I played, they would have gotten rid of me before we even swapped. Buckle up, everyone- this roller coaster is about to take off.

Touchy Subjects was just as fun as I expected it to be. The only answer I was majority for was "Playing for second". If that's how people perceive me, awesome. I'm not a major threat to win and it seems likely people will want to take me to the end as a goat. Jokes on them, I'm way more than that.

Apparently Alex won the reward though, which gives him an advantage that lets him challenge someone for their spot in the game if he's voted out. I'm sorry but that's ridiculous and unfair.

That also throws a wrench into our plan of voting him out. So now the votes are shifting onto Josh and Sara. I guess.

We might have to keep Alex until the F4, which means two of the OG Andaman crew aren't making the F4. That sucks.

GUESS WHO WON IMMUNITY! WHEWWWW

god daisy's fake ass gets on my nerve so much and i want her gone but! i'm just gonna go with the flow rn bc i'm on vacation

Also @Daisy why do u put me as the fakest and the one who mistakenly thinks they're running the game when youre the one who lied to my face and spread my name last round?

[6:44:09 PM] Drewbert: what you think might happen tonight

[6:45:06 PM] Daisy Sheps: um well we're hoping to blindside alex by getting keegan to flip and vote w us, but we think alex might have an advantage that could save him so its a risky move

[6:45:27 PM] Drewbert: what's the advantage?

[6:45:50 PM] Daisy Sheps: the ability to challenge someone else if you get voted out and have them take your place

[6:46:23 PM] Drewbert: if you think he has it and he uses it, who do you think he would use it on?

[6:47:42 PM] Daisy Sheps: we're hoping its josh and it would make sense if its josh because he flipped and hes not v strong in challenges, but I think it might be me since I'm directly on the other side and I'm not super strong in challenges either

[6:48:22 PM] Drewbert: do you think it's worth the risk?

[6:48:57 PM] Daisy Sheps: i think it is. we're not even 100% sure he has it, and i think it'll be riskier if we wait bc then there'll be less of us for him to pick from

[6:49:18 PM] Daisy Sheps: plus he could just keep going and getting immunity after this so this is the best plan

So the plan for tonight is Sam, Ned, Daisy and myself all vote for Alexander. If he uses his crazy advantage, it's better for it to be gone now than played later in the game where it can make a bigger difference. If he was lying or doesn't play it, he goes and everything is peachy keen.

The downside of this plan is that we're bringing Daisy in and pushing out Darian and Carson. We'll have to work out some major damage control if the plan goes smoothly.

Okay so the vote tonight might be Alex but I'm spooked it's gonna be me like bye no one really talked to me so I'm like hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm but oh well we will see wat happens

Daily reminder that I can't believe I'm still here. Anyways tag yourself im Darian thinking I'm with daisy and daisy thinking I'm with Darian.

Okay, so this round didn't really seem as a shock with the Touchy Subject, I knew I'd feel like I'm pretty out of the loop (because spoiler I am)

Darian told me he has the idol and I'm like 100% okay with that and working with him. I'll let him think I wanna work with him to the F3 and then boot his ass for being a threat, not gonna lie.

I'm so nervous for tonight's tribal. Alex didn't win which is awesome so we set our plan into motion. Keegan is on board with voting Alex with Ned, Daisy, and I. I told Sara and told her how everyone thinks she's on the other side and wants to leave her out of the loop but I wanted to make sure she knew the vote was for Alex. Hopefully that doesn't bite me in the butt but whatever. The thing that could screw me over though is ALEX'S DUMB ASS ADVANTAGE!!! Apparently he has some advantage that gives him the ability to challenge someone for their spot if he's voted out. That's like some big brother round trip ticket shit which sucks. I know it's a little different because he has to challenge someone but STILL! I'm afraid that he's gunna challenge me just based on the touchy subjects results (which totally outed me as running the game and as the person people want to win if they can't and other ones like that which is nice but damn please don't expose me). Plus Darian might be mad when we voted out Alex so he might tell Alex to challenge one of us. When we first found out we thought about changing our votes to Josh but Daisy doesn't want to. She obviously thinks that he's in her pocket which may be true? Darian says that Josh is voting for Daisy but we'll see when the votes come out. If there is more than one for Daisy it'll be from Josh and we'll know he's a #fake. She made the argument that it may be better to vote for Alex now while there are more people he can challenge like Sara and Josh who aren't as active or good in challenges which actually does make sense. I talked to Keegan about it and he agreed that it would make the most sense that way, too. But something about this whole plan seems to easy and it's making me so nervous. Not easy in the "I know this is all going to work out" type of way but the "we got all of the votes together despite the fact that we know an advantage is probably going to be played" way and that doesn't make sense to me. I feel like something went terribly wrong and I'm about to be voted out. So I just wanted to get one last confessional in if I'm right just say a big fuck you to everyone who flipped on me. But if I'm just being paranoid then fuck you Alex for your stupid advantage. And if I'm wrong about the advantage, too then oops fuck me for being so rude huh?

Our plan went flawlessly. Alex was voted out and used his advantage to challenge Sara, who was not in any major alliance. If he wins, he'll be back in the game, still on the bottom. And he's pissed at Darian for telling me about the advantage. So he'll be out for blood if he makes it back in the game.

This is good and bad for me though. Good because going forward, Daisy and Josh now want to work with me, Sam and Ned. I've got options out the wazoo. But I'm pretty sure I lost Darian as any sort of ally or friend. And if I make it to FTC and he doesn't, I'm unlikely to get his vote.

#fatdipofthatguac

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