#i didnt do any art today its friday and im tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yyxgin · 3 years

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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!!

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!!

ily <333

#💌ask #🌻 anon

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pbandjesse · 4 years

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Jess is texting me and shes super upset because she had now tried to order food 3 times but each time the place calls and there is a reason they cant give her her order. And apparently her landlord caught her oven on fire today so she cant cook at home. I am trying to talk her down but shes really upset. We are so simpler in our meltdowns sometimes. But it is so hard to try to talk her down through text and I hate that she doesnt have someone like James there to ground her. Ugh. I just want my friend to be happy.

It makes me want to be better so I can be there for her though. Like I am very tired and in pain but I am trying to hold off any sad feelings I might have because I need to be there for her.

And today was a good day. I am just tired.

I slept well but I didnt want to get up. Once I did I felt okay. I was annoyed because my stupid toothbrush isnt working right. Which made me leave a couple minutes later then I wanted. Not that it actually matters because no one notices if youre a few minutes late at camp. But still.

I really liked my outfit today. And I used spin pins to put my hair back and that made me feel real cue. I said goodbye to James and headed out. And like I thought no one noticed when I was there a little later. Other people came after me. I felt very. Isolated today. Not for the whole day, but I mostly just wanted to be alone. People seem concerned about it but I just want to spend time with me.

And my chest still hurt. So I talked to the nurse and she said to come by later. But first was check in. Except they didnt need me to walk anyone over to their cabins. Again. Like always. Just let me stay in the arts building you dont even need me!! But I did get a couple kids and walked them up as I was going to the arts shed but they only came with me because I stopped Ellen from walking them up since I was going over there anyway.

After I dropped them off I went to get the art from yesterday. Took that all over to the cabins. I brought the doll eyes for one of the little girls that's stuffie lost an eye yesterday. And then I went to get set up.

I didnt have the YPL student today, she'll be back friday apparently. But thats okay, Like I said I enjoyed my own company today. I had some podcasts to listen to. I set up my projects and chilled for a while.

I did some cleaning. And I waited for my groups. I had 2 groups today, but they were big groups! 13 kids each. Which yes isnt actually big. But its big for camp.

But honestly both groups were great. The first group I did have some behavioral issues with one boy who screamed at me. But they are littles and I just looked and him and I was like "Youre not going to hurt my feelings?" Like he was screaming because he had to wait to use to the bathroom? I cant let you wander away calm down.

But they were still a good group and they did a good job making their stencil arts.

I had a big break in the middle. I went to the nurse and got some ibuprofen. Which I then dropped in the field, didnt notice until I got back to the shed, and had to search for it. But I found it. And it helped a lot.

In my time before lunch I collected materials and made sure I had enough for the thursday groups. I had to go and get a student list which was a whole thing.

And while I waited for that I played Bop It! I hadnt played that in a long long time but I got the high score. It was beat a few times after that today but it was fun in that moment to get the highscore on my first time playing in over a decade.

I had lunch on the porch. Enjoyed talking to other counselors. But soon after that I took a long walk around camp. Went and pet the ponies. Checked on Lani the rat. Still alive. And then back to arts and crafts to wait for my group.

The second group had more issue with the project but they were still great. And their counselor Matt is super helpful. Like he kept asking and I was like Im good! But I appreciate the offers regardless.

I finished up cleaning after the kids headed out. I had like an hour before pick up so I tried to get some of the reclaimed clay I had in the water bucket dried and read to use. But omg. It smells like death. I dont know why but it smells so horrible. I put it between some large pieces of paper and left it out and well see if it improves but this might be a loss. I have plenty of clay for next week so Im not worried but I am frustrated. I washed my hands like 6 times and still struggled to get the terrible smell off.

After I did though I went to offer help with pick up but again they do not need me. So when there was a need to walk a child to the other side of camp I offered my services and then took the bus kids down from there to the office on my way back. I just want to be helpful. It was funny though one of my jobs in walking the kids was to stop them from eating the wineberries on the paths. Like they are basically ripe but they eat them all and then we dont have them for jam making and dying fabrics. I want to try these berries though. Maybe that will be an experiment tomorrow.

I headed home after that. Was really glad to be back here. It felt like a longer drive than normal. And more and more cars are on the road and I hate that. But I got back in one piece. And Mr Will was painting in the foyer. It was nice to see him. He fixed the broken part of the roof which was nice. I joked with him for a minute. Then I saw I had some packages and was excited about that.

I went upstairs. Had a snack. Opened my packages. One was my causebox and I know they had some issues because of the pandemic so while it wasnt the best box, it is still a good one. I got a fancy facial brush thing. And honestly it made my skin feel so soft when I used it to wash my face. Awesome.

I played animal crossing for a little. I painted my nails. And now I am just laying here hoping Jess is okay and wishing James was home.

Tomorrow is my day without classes. I have some stuff to do for this week and next. And then I might do some planning for future weeks. Because projects are supposed to start repeating but I am not 100% sure how Im doing that. So I will try to work through that and get supplies. Well see.

I hope you all have a nice night tonight. Sleep good.

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cupidmarwani-archive · 4 years

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Big News

Summary: Sarah and Ava have big news for the groupchat.

WC: ~1.5k

[Other Bekker renamed the chat “HOUSE PARTY”]

Other Bekker: it’s official

Other Bekker: i own a house

Other Bekker: with my WIFE!!!!!!

Bekker: We’re throwing a housewarming party and everyone’s invited!

Dr. Lanik: What’s the dress code

Other Bekker: casual if you wear a suit ill kill you

Ethan Choi: When?

Bekker: We were thinking it would start at around six or seven? It would mean a lot to us if Crockett could make it.

FreeWilly: Will there be alcohol?

Other Bekker: some of us are sober. No

no-ah: I’m in

Maggie<3: Wait who’s sober other than Crockett?

Dr. Lanik: Me

Other Bekker: me

connor: @OtherBekker there was an open bar at your wedding

Bekker: Circumstances change

Ethan Choi: This is such a fun conversation. Let’s not have it.

April: So back to the party… details!

Other Bekker: ill send the address in a bit but its gonna be potluck style. Everybody brings food. itll be pretty casual so dont be that asshole (@Dr.Lanik). starting at six ish and ending at maybe 10 or 11 depending on how tired we all are

Ethan Choi: Crockett’s program usually ends at like 5:30 so we might be a little late?

Other Bekker: ok sounds good. how is he btw

Ethan Choi: Pretty well. He’s outpatient for another few weeks and then his doctors are going to discuss long term options. Hopefully he’ll be back at work soon, too

April: Tell him we’re proud of him?

Ethan Choi: As soon as I pick him up tonight.

Sarah: are we telling them tonight?

Wifey: I was thinking so, yes. I mean, we have our house, and the paperwork went through.

Sarah: im so excited

Wifey: Me too, honey

Nat: Not to alarm anybody but whoever’s in charge of Connor right now, come to treatment 4

FreeWilly: love the implication that we take turns babysitting him

Dr. Lanik: We kind of do. I think it’s Maggie’s turn.

Maggie<3: I’m not at work. Who’s next in line?

April: @QueenElsa

Queen Elsa: Fine

connor: im a big boy i can take care of myself

Nat: You literally have a concussion

Ethan Choi: Why?

Nat: He fainted after a surgery. His sugar is low on the finger prick and he said he hasn’t had any water since his shift started

Dr. Lanik: @connor We’ve talked about this

connor: ok boomer

Dr. Lanik: @connor Stop calling me a boomer! We’re the same age!

connor: ok

connor: boomer

Bekker: Can you grow up @connor

connor: no

Queen Elsa: Update for everyone, Connor is getting a CT. He’s eating a Snickers bar right now and we’re pushing fluids

FreeWilly: youre not you when youre hungry

Dr. Lanik: @Bekker @OtherBekker What day will your housewarming party be? My daughter’s birthday is Friday.

Maggie<3: IM SORRY YOUR WHAT

Other Bekker: ?????

Bekker: We were thinking Saturday.

April: @FreeWilly Did you know about this???????

FreeWilly: uh yeah?

no-ah: Why did none of us know you had a daughter?

Dr. Lanik: I just don’t see how it’s any of your business.

Nat: How old is she? Who’s her mother? What school does she go to? How did we go this long without knowing?

[Dr. Lanik has sent an image to the chat]

Dr. Lanik: This is Emma, she’s almost eleven, and this is the most information any of you will ever be getting about her.

Ethan Choi: Well this has been a wild ride

Other Bekker: now taking bets on how crockett will react. $10 says he thinks its a joke

no-ah: Coward. He knows everything. $20 says he already knew.

Other Bekker: youre on

Queen Elsa: ...Anyways, Connor’s CT came back alright. It’s a minor concussion; he’ll be fine soon.

Maggie<3: That’s good

Dr. Lanik: @FreeWilly and I will look after him.

Ethan Choi: Just picked up Crockett, he says hi. He also has letters for each of you as part of his process

Nat: That’s sweet

Ethan Choi: I have been assured none of them contain nudes

Other Bekker: thank g-d

Ethan Choi: I’ll be giving them to you all at work.

Ethan Choi: Crockett will be cooking something I won’t even try to pronounce for the housewarming party

Other Bekker: his cooking is all so good...

no-ah: It slaps

Queen Elsa: Is it that pasta thing??? With the crawfish????

Ethan Choi: Honestly, I don’t know.

Nat: Owen and I are bringing cookies.

Bekker: Important question, @Dr.Lanik… will Emma be coming?

Dr. Lanik: No. I don’t want her near any of you.

connor: hes got a point

Maggie<3: Have you never, in your life, had to bring her to a doctor?

Dr. Lanik: We use East Mercy so that you all keep your noses out of my life.

FreeWilly: ouch

April: I mean, if I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want any of you near her either.

Nat: Harsh, I trust you with my son

April: You’re different.

Bekker: Do I hear wedding bells?

Nat: @April What if we kissed in the doctor’s lounge… and we’re both girls?

Nat: Haha just kidding

Nat: Unless…?

April: Did you just hit on me with a meme

Nat: Did it work?

Other Bekker: another win for the gaydies

Other Bekker: THEY BOTH JUST WENT INTO THE DOCTORS LOUNGE JHGFKHFRH

Ethan Choi: Crockett laughed

connor: do you read these messages to him?

Ethan Choi: Sometimes. He likes to be in the loop.

FreeWilly: hot take but. we could just add him back to the chat?

Ethan Choi: He’s not ready for that yet, but he does like to be updated on your lives and one-on-one texting is stressful for him

Other Bekker: we spend more time talking about crockett now than we did when he was in the chat

no-ah: Sweet I have my Crockett letter

Ethan Choi: I'll put them in your lockers. My shift is starting so I'm turning my phone to silent.

Other Bekker: Crockett Time

Bekker: Did he write me one?

Other Bekker: @Bekker both mine and yours are in my locker i think. one is for "blonde bekker" and one is for "brunette bekker"

no-ah: That's what he has your contacts saved as

Queen Elsa: Mine is just a smiley face sticker in an envelope?

Other Bekker: jsyk we should probably keep these private! this is important to him

Maggie<3: I'm so excited to see him again on Saturday, I've missed him.

FreeWilly: He's been busy. I think his program is like eight to five every day but Sunday

Nat: What's that even like?

Other Bekker: they have an in house aa group that meets a few times a day and theres a ton of other support like therapy to get to the root of the problem. i mean before he got sober the first time he was self medicating

Other Bekker: he does a lot of art therapy i think. when he was inpatient he kept mailing paintings to my wife and i

Curry (Not Dr.): Hey, it's Elsa Curry from Med. Sarah gave me your number. I was just wondering why you gave me a sticker?

Crockett: dont u put them on the inside of your binder? the one u put ur case notes in at the end of ur shift

Curry (Not Dr.): How did you know that?

Crockett: u pull ur binder out when ur stressed to reference old cases. i thot u might like another sticker so u know ur not in this alone

Crockett: :)

[crickett has renamed the chat "dick bros"]

crickett: @connor do u wanna fuck again this weekend lmao

connor: ???

connor: i thought that was a one time thing

Ethan Choi: It doesn't have to be.

Maggie<3: @Bekker @OtherBekker Sorry I'm running a little behind! I couldn't find my keys

Bekker: No harm, no foul!

[Bekker has sent an image to the chat]

Bekker: Definitely hurry, we're having so much fun!

Crockett: baby

HUBBY: I'm sitting right beside you.

Crockett: ik but im feeling kinda overwhelmed

HUBBY: Do you want to go home?

Crockett: i think i just need air will you cover for me if someone comes looking

Other Bekker: THANK YOU @Maggie<3 FOR ACTUALLY HELPING CLEAN UP

FreeWilly: sorry!

connor: sorry ahhhhhh i didnt think about it

Nat: Congrats again, you two, this is huge!

April: ^^

no-ah: Will we get to meet her, or will she be a secret like Laniks daughter?

Bekker: You'll all definitely get to meet her, but let's not do so much at once? Adjusting to a new home is hard, and from what the adoption agency tells us, she's had a rough go of it.

no-ah: Of course!

Queen Elsa: No little girl could have a better home! Congratulations on your daughter and I wish you really good luck. If you ever need help, we're all here!

Dr. Lanik: She's about eight, right?

Bekker: Yes

Dr. Lanik: If she needs help adjusting, let me know, and maybe Emma and I can help. She was about that age when I adopted her.

connor: the Lanik lore we are getting today omg

Dr. Lanik: You'll both be great parents, and @OtherBekker don't hesitate to let me know if you need extra time off. This is a big deal and you shouldn't have to stress about work when you should be worrying about your family. @Bekker I'll also ask Dr. Latham to be lenient with you as well.

Other Bekker: thank you from both of us <3

connor: who knew lanik had a heart.

#chicago med #fic #mine #medgroupchat

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tylerwritez · 3 years

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Hey guys, its friday june 18 2021 and I'm quite confused.

My bio parents were pissed at me today but they're always pissed at me so it was rly not anything new. The only thing that's confusing me is love and sex and RELATIONSHIPS!!!!

I am in a loving committed relationship. I have a girlfriend. Let's call her Star (15 like me). I do my best to be a good boyfriend. All is well... UNTIL this fucking boy comes along... let's call him Jay(18, but tbh looks 15ish). At first I was like... excited. Because I thought maybe I was making a friend. And as we all know... I dont have many friends. I'm at a new school, so you know how it is. Anyways he would tease me and he IS REALLY REALLY MY TYPE BECAUSE oF THE SIZE DIFFERENCE..... HES LIKE 6FT2 SJJQPWJ1KAPQP anyways. I didn't see this coming, but soon he starts asking me about my kinks and fantasies and eventually I kinda get the idea that maybe he's flirting with me.

Which is WEIRD. Because I have. A girlfriend? But I dont reject his advances because even though I'm already with someone, I dont want to outright REJECT someone so... attractive. Jesus. Plus me and my gf are like constantly all over each other sooo idk sometimes she gets upset with me and I feel like I'm doing the whole thing wrong. Not often. But today she did. Dont get the wrong idea. She is an AMAZING girlfriend. It just so happens that she was angry at me earlier and idk SHE FEELS MORE DISTANT which is weird because she constantly tells me off for being distant with HER. Idk. I love her but GIRLS ARE CONFUSING. Idk I just I've been so TIRED AND.

I feel like shit and cos of that I keep making her worry and UGHHH I just want stuff to less complicated. You know who is less complicated...? Jay.

After art class (hes in my art class but never does any work... hes graduating next year and it almsot makes me sad because... IDK I MAY BE A LITTLE ATTACHED TO HIM. We were chatting. After art class and I was like ":| I kinda have to go now, but I was hoping we could... uh... do more" and this smooth talking motherfucker really went from being that kid in my class who was kinda nice to uh... walking home with me... my parents weren't home so from there it was basically DIRECTLY to my room and RIGHT into bed. And oh. My goD. I LOVED THAT. I was clothed, then shirtless, then naked... I sucked him off but probably badly since he didnt cum :/ and I threw up a little (I hadnt eaten anything yet during the day tho since I do OMAD so it wasnt much stuff) xD it was hot as hell to be sucking his dick like the slut I am but also my throat kept trying to throw up everytime I tried to take him deeper and make him feel GOOD and eventually he could tell I was getting tired XD like I had vomit in my hair but then he like turned the tables and started licking and sucking ME. Which was. THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE ENTRIE DAY. I WAS BEING PRTTY DAMN LOUD. And he SPANKED ME... AND I GOT TO CALL HIM DADDY!!! and he kept going in with his hands and qukwnksnld that feels good even after my dad came back he was like rubbing me through my jeans and I was like AAAAAAAAAAÀ

Like the whole time I felt like... so good. I felt like I was safe because he asked me "are you sure" and like "you dont HAVE to do x if you dont want to" and idk it was comforting because I'm not used to kinda having sex.

Yeah I... I did something I shouldn't have. I dont think I cheated with my heart... i think i did it with my dick. But it makes no difference. cheating is CHEATING, and cheating is bad, and I'm bad and I've done a horrible thing and I'm going to have to tell Star soon. It's always best to be honest so I'll try to tell her. And then she'll break up with me... and be all sad... maybe I shouldnt tell her. I dont want to hurt her like that... well.. I alreADY hurt her the moment I started talking to Jay as anything more than a friend... jesus this is hard stuff.

I think I'm just an attention seeking whore honestly. Like, my entire life is fucked cos my bio parents couldnt or rather, DIDNT, provide for me emotionally... leading to me craving to be loved, appreciated, and paid attention to. So I dont turn people down. IM NOT BLAMING THEM FOR MY MISTAKE. I made this choice. It was morally wrong and I have to deal with that fact. But its worth examining your own behaviour and being self aware.

Also Jay turns me on... so...

I'll figure it out.

#JudeJournals #judejournals #jude shepard

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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April 1st-April 7th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 1st, 2019 to April 7th, 2019. The chat focused on Stomp! by Brodnork.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Stomp! by Brodnork~! (http://stompwebcomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until April 7th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What do you believe is in the box Silvergammel gives Stomp at the beginning of the story? Do you believe the box will open soon, or will it still be a while? What do you think will happen when it does open?

Brodnork

Hi! I was just caught up in setting up my April Fools gag on twitter that I completely forgot this was happening today

RebelVampire

ironically yours is the gag that reminded me of the date cause i super had to double check i was tagging the right account on twitter cause i was so confused XD

Brodnork

Haha thats fair

It's actually a super convenient time for this sort of discussion, seeing as a chapter just ended and it's on a small hiatus for a bit.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. How do you think Tandrad and Inkcrest are doing? What do you think happened in regards to the Hooligrin paying a visit to Tandrad ominously? What role might Tandrad have to play in the story?

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene this time i think is when they go to the moon and defeat the queen. i enjoy the humor that shes just so flat out fed up with them no amount of revenge is worth it. i just also love the simple aesthetic changes as well cause despite being simple, they really convey that feeling of alienness. 2) i mean the devil's advocate is the obvious choice. maybe its not tho. maybe its the deus ex machina that will save the die. like baby pictures of the hooligrin that can be used as blackmail. i feel itll still be a while before it comes into play, and i feel too stomp himself probably forgot about it. as for what will happen when it opens, probably some sort of epic fight whether related to the box or not. i also feel like silvergammel might not even know for sure whats in the box despite thinking stomp would like it.

3) Still Clomp because he's the cool one who has a dorky hat and sunglasses and i just like his overall joking sort of laid back attitude about everything. but mostly, hes the cool one. 4) Tandrad and Inkcrest are probably fine, but the theme park owners? probably not so much. Mostly becuase the Hooligrin can only be a bad influence on tandrad and probably said, "im your friend and i say you should murder them." but i think tandrad is gonna appear as an antagonist again next alongside the hooligrin and stomp will have to convince tandrad theyre still friends. then tandrad will betray hooligrin and hooligrin will curse them all while going for plan c.

Brodnork

Ooh, i like those theories about the box

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What aspect of the world-building have you liked the most? What future role do you believe the aliens might have to play? Further, do you think Comp will learn to control his psychic powers?

RebelVampire

5) im a huge fan of this more recent page, especially the last panel http://stompwebcomic.com/comic/214. i just adore the lighting effects on this page between the red and the glow. and i love the details on how the sword emerges with all the kind of partical spray. it definitely feels like a magical sword and like something truly amazing is happening. 6) ive really enjoyed in general just the world history. like the pirates, the hiss clickers, the alien war. i really love how this stuff is informing present day events while not being completely about it either. it makes the world feel super fleshed out without overriding whats going on. as for the aliens, im not sure theyll be coming back unless hooligrin makes even more "friends." but i do think comp is gonna pick up those psychic powers. just in the greatest time of need. hell show everyone how he can bend a spoon just like in the matrix.

Brodnork

Thanks, Im actually pretty proud of that panel but I was worried it wouldn't have the impact I wanted

ShaRose49

This is really cute so far! It feels pretty slice-of-life-y

Brodnork

Thanks! I guess it sort of is slice of life, seeing as Stomp's life kinda involves going on adventures regularly

TypewriterMark

Rey first thought is this an enormous amount of work and that should always be celebrated

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you think the Devil’s Advocate is? Who is the Hooligrin’s boss and why do they want it? Do you think Hooligrin does know where it is? How will this storyline continue to affect Stomp and company?

ShaRose49

Stomp and the Uncle

Omgosh they are hilarious

My fav scene was the part with the rotten eggnog and he keeps saying random things like I do when I’m tired

ShaRose49

“You’ll never take me alive.”

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Of the adventures Stomp has been on so far, which one is your favorite? What did you like about it specifically? Also, which adventure played out in a way you didn’t expect?

RebelVampire

7) the characters i probably enjoy seeing interact most are stomp and chomp. they really have such opposite attitudes about adventure, life, and the amount of safety precautions each will take. and i enjoy seeing that contrast be played around with and how inevitably, stomp is usually dragging chomp on adventures to. 8) the devil's advocate is clearly a device that just points out all the flaws in your argument. hooligrin's boss wants to use it to become the best politician in the world by weeding out all their bad arguments and understanding their political opponents better. but more seriously, probably something to summon a demon. and ya know blah blah get all that demon power to rule the world. i think hooligrin thinks he knows where it is, but i def dont think what he thinks is the correct location. and inevitably hooligrin is gonna have to go back to plan a cause stomp is the only good lead

RebelVampireLast Friday at 8:19 AM

9) i love how consistently the world design generally is. like the tree designs consistently look the same, the hiss clickers, and just like the fuzzy quality to all the creatures makes them all feel like they belong in the world. it really helps make the world feel like a cohesive and unique place all its own where characters are actually living. 10) I liked the moon adventure the most i think. I like how the shopping cart was used, how one of the main characters was tied in, and i just generally liked how the queen was defeated. cause it was sad and hilarious. as for adventures that played out in a way i didnt expect, thatd definitely be the treasure hunt one. mostly cause i thought theyd at least find something worthwhile. instead it was just danger and more danger. and yet, they were still happy cause yaay exciting adventures. plus, ya know, a flying shopping cart.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think Cigast was up to in the mine in regards to collecting all the crystals? How do Cigast and Silvergammel supposedly know each other? What consequences will there be for Stomp failing to stop Cigast?

RebelVampire

11) i think the comic's strength is its world-building and how it ties the world into the story. as i mentioned in an earlier question, i just really enjoy how the story makes the world feel like an actual place where characters are living. i also feel theres really a good balance in how the world is presented, as there are tons of relateable things and parodies that help connect you to the world. but even so, they are able to remain unique. but generally, theres just a lot of character to the world that feels as much a part of how the story unfolds as the rest of the story elements. 12) honestly i kind of think cigast is working with hooligrin in some manner. like not directly persay, but maybe a coworker or hooligrin's black market magic dealer. so i think stomp's failure is gonna spell trouble for stomp later in the next confrontation with hooligrin. cause if i go with my theory on cigast, then cigast is probably giving stuff to hooligrin to use. as for how cigast and silvergammel know each other, maybe they were buddies in college but then cigast went down the dark path and silvergammel didnt want to be buddies anymore and it was very sad.

Brodnork

Thanks for your comments about the world!!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you believe Silvergammel will actually tell Stomp his stories are fake? How might this affect Stomp? Do you believe Stomp should continue adventuring anyway despite the danger? Should everyone let him?

RebelVampire

13) im looking forward to just seeing their adventures in general. i really like learning about the world they live in. but im also looking forward to stomp overcoming people's beliefs he cant go on real adventures. 14) i feel like maybe hell go for an inbetween. like say "well some of the stories arent real." mostly cause silvergammel already putting it off, so i dont trust him to for real tell stomp. but i feel this could go one of two ways. stomp will go on a big huge adventure to prove everyone wrong, or stomp will get depressed and go on a reluctant adventure. but in the long run, yeah, i think stomp will continue adventuring. not that he shouldnt be dissuaded, but stubborn is as stubborn does

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Stomp! this week! Please also give a special thank you to Brodnork for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Stomp!, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://stompwebcomic.com/

Brodnork’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Brodnork

Brodnork’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/A561YF0

Brodnork’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Brodnork

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #stomp!#stomp #brodnork

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stairwaytomidnightfm · 5 years

Text

A Stairway To Midnight Radio-with I.M

DJ Yoo Han With I.M As The Special Guest

DJ: Good evening, Earthlings! How was your Thursday so far, in this not-so-hot night as the summer is coming to an end. For the next two hours to your Friday, I, DJ Yoo Han as usual will be your company and slowly send you to your slumber. For those who are still at work, or on their way home, stay safe and be careful~ Starting from now, the phone line and the comment section is now open! Leave your song request, or share any stories about your week. Let’s share those story, type them in while I play the first song for tonight. Also, before the song starts, I would like to say that we have a special guest, who is currently sitting right beside me. If you’re wondering who it is, stay tune to our midnight radio~

( NOW PLAYING ► WHO AM I by I.M )

DJ: Alright, that was a song from I.M with “Who Am I”, which is currently my favorite song to listen to at night. How was it? It helps you to relax even more, doesn’t it? Speaking of the song, based on what I mentioned earlier, we are having a special guest for tonight! Without further ado, please cheer for I.M !! (the loud cheer from the staffs heard in the background) Please introduce yourself to our audience~

I.M : Wow thank you. So much. Ah, hello, good evening, ( in english ) I am I.M ( back to korean ) and I’m a rapper-slash-producer from SELFMADE. Though I haven’t made an official debut yet, I’ve got a lot of other hobbies as well. I’m happy to be a guest today, please take care of me!

DJ: It’s so nice to finally meet you, I.M-ssi! All of the sudden, the room has turned brighter since we have a new face to be with us for the next two hours! The staffs are all smiling now! First of all, let’s talk about the song we played earlier on, ‘Who Am I’. What kind of story you can share to everyone here who’s listening the radio right now, when it comes to this song? To me, it speaks about finding our true self, giving our best to do what we want. Is there any inspiration or a backstory to why you wrote this song?

I.M: It’s my pleasure to be here! I hope everyone enjoyed my song, one of my earliest releases. The lyrics are personal to me and it’s special because it goes so far back. When I younger, I wanted to be a genius like my father. I tried to enroll into a science academy and studied well, but even when I forced it it didn’t feel right. So I left school and thought I wanted to travel. I ended up being passionate for music and art, I finally decided to become a rapper. I wanted to be refreshing and put my name down somewhere. ( laughs ) This song was written years after I changed my path but still, it was relevant as I wrote it. Starting with a new blank slate is okay but it is hard work to find your true self. I’m a confused kid sometimes but at least I have something I’m passionate in.

DJ: That’s interesting...I guess if you really have found your passion and worked hard for it, then anything is possible. Since you have been creating music for a while, what was the biggest obstacle you have experienced so far? I’m not asking this to cower our listeners, but to motivate them to pursue things just like you. Do you have any memorable events that helped shaping you for who you are now?

I.M: Yes..I’ve been working for a few years now, and even though I was still a teenager, I felt like I was late. Like I wasn’t experienced enough. But now I understand that a good drive will get your further than you may expect. Don’t ever stop, or give up. Hard work is the secret. There’s times where it’s not easy but the last thing I wanted was to quit. I just wanted to feel satisfied. When I was finally satisfied with something and shared it, I never got tired of it. Every time I hear that people I love also love something I’ve done, I don’t forget those moments. To be proud and have everything pay off, it’s worth everything.

DJ: We’ve jumped to a deep talk right away, haven’t we? (laughs softly) But I’m 100% agree that working hard and giving your best to the things you love will give you the best result as well. I think many of our listeners would feel they’re about to give up when the day is ending, but always keeping a positive mentality for tomorrow is also one way to go. And if we’re willing to change our perspective, then nothing is really impossible, isn’t it? Say, I.M-ssi, let’s talk about your music intensely now. What’s new from you? Are you going to release any new songs in near future?

I.M: Ah, no.. ( chuckles in response ) You’ve got to look forward, and find beauty in times that still feel dark. Keep an open mind, at least that’s what I learned. Oh. The last personal thing I released was a mixtape in February. But I do have plans for the future. Keep a close eye on other SELFMADE artists too, haha. But I would like to release a complete album sometime next year. But the dates are undecided. In the meantime I’ll still be hard at work so if anyone expects anything before the year ends, don’t worry. I don’t think there’s more I can say.

DJ: If you reveal everything here, there will be no more surprise for your fans, isn’t it? I see how it is~ I’m looking forward to what’s coming from you next, I.M-ssi! 2019 is just...3 months away from now? If you think about it, it won’t be long until you release it! Once it’s out, please come here again and we can let our loyal listeners listen to it to. And please ask SELFMADE’s artists to come to my radio show as well~ (laughs softly) and for the recent song you released this year, shall we give it a listen before we take a break? Please introduce the song to our listeners.

I.M: I can hardly believe 2018 is ending so soon.. I hope to come back next year too! And with a complete album I’ll have more to talk about. I’ll ask them to come but.. If anyone at the company is listening! Please join A Stairway to Midnight too! I think any of the other artists will enjoy it. They’ll be a lot more fun than I am. But yes, let’s move on. This is Fly With Me by I.M, enjoy it well listeners!

DJ: Alright, we’ll be right back after a short break.

( NOW PLAYING ► FLY WITH ME by I.M )

#live:broadcast

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sh-lan · 6 years

Text

i’m always late for these now but oh well

i can’t believe i’m making an ebay account happy new year LOL

Third day of the new year!

Went to hangout with ryan and leighton. They wanted to try marugame udon so!!! Also i saw adam but didnt say hi, oops. In any case. We were like hey let’s do something like walk around! But it rained a little so we bought some cuties from trader joe’s and ended up at ryan’s house and basically sat in his kotatsu for 4 hours then i came home. I also finally know how it feels like when the manga says that your legs get tangled inside the kotatsu. And when you literally cannot get out of it. Plus the feeling of losing the ability to walk because ya gurl tried to stand up after crawling out of the kotatsu and just fell back down What a day LOL

my brain in general has forgotten how it feels like to study …oh dear

Mommy helped me dye my hair yesterday! It’s lighter than i thought but it was the gray ochre color from palty! And it smells like grape hichews Facetimed vania & yuri today and they noticed the color! And then facetiming with dad and he also noticed LIKE WOW I DIDNT REALIZE PEOPLE COULD TELL? <3

I want a lot of cute phone case but idk what and where to get EDIT: i am still having this problem

I just saw the golden year of the dog items from starbucks korea AND I WANT EDIT: also want the starbucks x pantone planner fml EDIT EDIT: did not end up buying anything good job deborah lan

i was right muster merch colors ARE BEAUTIFUL

The muster merch fmu EDIT: clearly i was overwhelmed with the colors because there were two separate drafts in a row lol

The company insists on having two references….

And now they said they chillin with a peer reference SO I PHONED A FRIEND (aka vania) bless her soul

jan 10th l i f e u p d a t e got the first job offer of my life!! (well official full time offer lol) and so it looks like i’m going to portland? :O

Wow i joined a GO for muster merch New year new me and goodbye money 탕진잼 탕진잼 탕진잼

Wow im glad i submitted the form to get muster merch because THEY ARE SO CUTE AND PRETTY. Okay but i really want PCs so i sincerely hope bighit has some sense and ship PC sets abroad when you order multiple other items Also didnt realize the lenticular key rings would be a hot item but seriously they are so much more adorable than i thought?? Jk’s key ring is so cute i cri EDIT: just found out about no acrylic stand )))): EDIT EDIT: didn’t get squat because ARMYs jump all over everything any time anything is released...

finding housing is hard and i can’t believe that i actually see an appeal to living in downtown…

fmu because bt21 getting released online BUT I REALLY SHOULDN’T BUY but also i finally got my package from jen! ugh omg the bag charms are so cute i don’t know whether to actually use them or keep them in their boxes ;__; and she included some mediheal masks! finally also sent vania her tata as a thank you gift~

deokrim stickers are too cute ima buy two sets

And ugh wow i cant believe i chanced upon cornpeu shop reopening im ded Vania and i didnt catch the timing for bt21 and now i’m still dumping money on bts things HAHA EDIT: not even 15 min after writing this, i bought the stuff from cornpeu lel (which couldve been used to buy the cushion so idk man) time to go preorder for deokrim maybe?

Wow my left hand hurts like shit did i really break it playing superstar bts like mom said? No way right

Ahhhh got my muster merch in the mail today and it’s so niceeee *^* Ima stick that washi tape like everywhere LOL

I hurt myself four different times today smh

In portland for the weekend! I deadass ate two packets of honey roasted peanuts on the plane ride over because i didnt realize i was so hungry and now i’m just waiting for the pimples to cOME ;__;

I walked into a stationery store in portland and just. FOUND MY PEACE. jk but i bought some stickers i been looking at online blesssss

No. Tax. Anywhere. (So far)

I had coke last night after my flight and i legit didnt feel tired until 3:30am oops

Omfg i cant believe someone was selling the trust issues photobook by snowpeach in the luce in altis project for $15 last night WOW LIKE THE FEW DAYS I DONT CHECK SHIT, THERE’S ALL KINDS OF SHIT I WANT. $15 is so cheap ;___;

went to portland with alice to check out apartments!!! woot. lots of fun going around/looking at the city. landed on thursday night and waited at the airport for alice and ate mcdonalds/watched the office haha friday: alice had work all day ): so i went out to meet up with yuri and leslie who happened to be out in portland too! walked to the alberta arts district to eat with them at pok pok noi. just walked around afterwards exploring in the rain before getting back home to eat dinner with alice at like 8…lol we went to bamboo sushi in sw and alice treated me to omakase as a congrats on getting my new yob!! woot also did some walking around in the neighborhood - will likely spend quite a bit of time in the powell city of books! saturday: the day we actually went out to see properties! grabbed some blue star donuts and headed into nw district - looked at some apartments and then grabbed lunch at this cute italian place that i will most likely frequent. started talking to alice about stuff and being weak, i cried and then we got free hazelnut ice cream…LOL. it was really good sunday: since we toured places that i actually liked yesterday, we basically just decided to walk around different areas. waterfront park, pioneer square…we spent a while in nordstrom rack and sephora looking for stuff for alice! lol. then dinner again at bamboo sushi and dessert at salt & straw :> monday morning: waking up early to get to the airport for alice’s flight. bought more donuts at the airport for mom! then i sat at the airport watching the office and eating until the airplane ride where i got a whole row to myself~

and that was my portland trip shortened LOL. but~ excited about the new city, definitely excited about the donuts!

Furniture shopping is hard Moving is hard Everythinf comes down to money S M H

Got approved for my apartment today!! #excited

legit on phone calls for an hour getting stuff down and ready. now to wait on emails so i can get to the next step to sign my lease!

It’s been hot in sf like ??? In other news, i put coconut oil in ma hair - let’s see how it feels tomorrow! :O EDIT: idk, it didn’t feel different?

Omg feb 5th: suddenly a day where i can play hard mode on ssbts wow what a day

I just saw the new bts game where you get to “live chat” the boys as the user becomes the manager and takes care of the bois I am literally gonna die All armys gonna die Why do they do this to us …BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE’LL NEVER BE THEIR MANAGERS

Today i threw away my first lip tint because it looked funky funks and was like dying Good bye you were good to me - onto more an new lip tints! On another note. The balenciaga cap is $350??!?!

Being fat today and ordered three desserts with han at creations. And then went to the beach because pokemon but ended up star-gazing and it was niceee

Just came across its it ice creams on IG and since it’s been so hot (cause like spring came early or something??) i want it!! Also, it’s like the only time i ever consume oatmeal raisin cookies (unless they just oatmeal - in which case, delicious) But omg i didnt know strawberry is an OG flavor? Althought mint reigns supreme. But. GREEN TEA??

A BUMBLEBEE FLEW INTO MY HOUSE THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS ALONE AND COULDNT HELP also raided mewtwo yesterday!! Woot. Surprisingly got the gym bonus after much hardwork but dayum caught with only one ball LOL

Ever since that one time on the airplane with the weird ass headache/tension above my left eyebrow….i got like two headaches in a week that were like that. Also in between those, my right ear hurts and honestly…am i broken somewhere cause lel Body please get better

Lmao so last time i put on a screen protector, i cracked it in two days cause i dropped it. And i just put on a new one last week and lo and behold, it hath cracked again but this time, in my purse. I’m so ????? Smh

Landed in portland once again with han for move in!! Woke up super early…. Just went to target/tj maxx to buy stuff. Smh should’ve bought a swiffer and gotten it sent here ): Got a shower rug! THE SOFT SQUISHY ONE. But failed in the shower curtain department cause it’s too short… Makeshift bed with blankets and bed sheets lol…we shall await the mattress coming in tomorrow~ Do have quite a bit of stuff to buy in general…): Anyways. Had a burrito for dinner and like ?!! Aluminum foil gave me an aluminum cut so…ow No internets yet - good thing han downloaded some movies!

My cuticles are dying because my hands are dry and wow this is terribad

Went and bought a shitton of strawberry chocolates for 50% off at cvs MUAHAHA

Went to macy’s (or we’ve been going often since it’s going out of business so things are going on sale) and got the seiko watch i was kinda eyeing last time. ONLY TO FIND OUT (forgot to check on amazon) that it was 38 dollahs cheaper ;__; but. EHHH it’s all good. Seems like the one on amazon has strap problems being too smol so…like, it’s totally chill

February 19th

My first day of work!! Went in earlies and had onboarding for about two hours with amother new hire. Then i returned to my room where i met my coworker and my manager! Both of whom are in the same room and we each have a desk. (Ima have to request a standing desk :O) anywayss. Got a company laptop - thank god it’s not bulky. And then i’ve got two monitors on my desk too! #bless

Then jlw went through more ux stuff with me and i also went to a stand up meeting. Like. Those are real man. Then went to company lunch! Where new hires introduce themselves and i realize that i have never used a dishwasher before and everyone was shookt lol.

Afterwards, i went to a sprint meeting AND BOIIIII PLANNING POKER DOE??? Lololol. I have to say i did not understand a single thing that was going on. Took about an hour and a half…

Anyways. went back in where jlw continued where she left off and then finally let me read some onboarding stuff on my own before she headed out at 4 and then me, leaving swiftly at 4 as well LOL

SO that was my first day! Trying to get everything in order - i hope that everything goes great and that i learn lots and lots! :> although…windows computer already killing me, no wonder people use mouses instead of the trackpad. Also…gotta learn Axure + in depth photoshop so…WOOT WOOT

Oh and we also have a huge snack cabinet i might just become a potato

Light snowfall is so pleasant :>

Bucketlist checklist:

Eat alone - check! First lunch break :> (exciting!)

Watch a movie by myself - check! Love, Simon

Second day - drank too much coffee while i’m still weak against caffeine. It’s 1:26am. HNNNGH

i got really bored at work today because even though it’s week 2 now, i was done with my shit at like 2pm so i just started looking at axure tutorials for another however long until 4:30 LOL side note: might actually do my post-its idea thing then i realize that i didn’t bring any post-its over to portland… also i cracked my screen again today because i slammed it on the counter while trying to save it from falling so did i really save it….

bought rice and shin ramen on amazon lel

Gonna try out my post it idea in the office tomorrow. Hope it goes well 🤞

2/28/17 First ever happy hour but also goodbye party for kyle - also like the first time i talked to him since the one and a half week i been there (minus when we introduced ourselves) but sads cause he was kinda a squish and everyone seemed to have a chill time working with him :/ oh well

ALSO THE FIRST DAY THAT YA GURL GOT PAID $$$ (which is just directly going to rent - oh the woe of getting paid bi-monthly LOL)

Wow i did a great job sticking on my phone screen protector! #yes EDIT: no i didnt. It’s blocking the camera slightly on top smh

Ya gurl cut her finger on a tape measure lmfaooo

Alice came two weekends in a row to help me buy and build stuff and daymn. That was some hard work and tbh i only built a shelf and a bed LOOOOL I think ima go for the sofa + table rather than the desk. I think it might work! Also went to ashun market. Good weekend :>

I went bowling today!! It was an engineering celebration so i thought - why not, let’s be social for a little bit. And it turned out to be fun~ we had some fuds and i played two rounds. And I got a strike in one of the rounds! Woot woot. Anyways. It was enjoyable, not as awkward as i had envisioned. Also i was able to successfully catch the bus home so that was great :>

I think i’m reverting back to my eating habits because there are ENDLESS SNACKS IN THE OFFICE. Oh dear

Really actually thinking about that dicon photobook because the pictures are so nice :<

ALSO FINALLY FCKIN DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY CHARGE ON KWH DIFFERS ON A MONTH TO MONTH BASIS in addition to usage. Wow the things you discover and uncover as you adult

Also city of portland why do you have a base charge of $11???????

Ahhh xfinity wifi was too good to be true Apparently only 5 devices could connect to it at one time. So i guess i gotta shop for internets now…LOL EDIT: NAWP. ALL GOOD. THAT WAS FOR HOME HOTSPOT. WOOT

Lmao my manager went to ucsd when marshall was still called third im

In other news. It looks like my one on one anxiety wont dissipate soon. Esp since last week, the vp of engineering just sent me a calendar invite for a one on one and i literally got stressed out for a straight 30 min before i said yes to the invite and could slowly go back to focusing on work lol…. EDIT: it ended up being around 15 minutes and i did not really enjoy it at all

We are bulletproof pt 2 came on today while i was walking and i still cannot believe that the first lines still got me smiling like a fckin idiot

Ok so i finally talked to this girl at work (who i think is really pretty omfg) the other day and she’d been curling her hair recently and as we were walking out of the bathroom i was like I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR And then she said my hair is so straight and healthy - “do you straighten it? It’s really pretty” and i’m just over here crying on the inside because it looks like hay and only happened to be really straight that day for god knows what reason. SO BASICALLY THE STARS ALIGNED JUST SO WE COULD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION Also she said she recently bought a curler that just “does it for you” and gurl i need that because idk how to DO ANYTHING TO MY HAIR UGH

I woke up with the blankets already nicely proportioned off the sides of my bed - so i just crawled out without making my bed today lool

Thought i could handle watching burn the stage but i saw the screenshot of jungkook lying down and it already broke my heart Need to be secluded with some tissues ;__;

A two day trip to see The Rose in seattle or a five day trip in san diego… 🤔🤔🤔

last day of march went to lunch with my coworkers for the first time and i actually enjoyed it! it was fun :> glad that my coworker actually dropped by the office to invite us to lunch~

good friday today because:

lunch was good

really honestly did nothing because we were troubleshooting visual studio

also basically did nothing because double sprint planning and retro LOL

HEADING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND UNTIL WEDNESDAY

#gotpaid

but no joke, on the ride to the airport, i got carsick and i honestly didn’t even know that was possible but if you think about it, i basically haven’t been on any kind of transportation for at least a month… also my uber driver is like some viet gangsta or something that gets pulled into the room every time he tries to go to canada O_O LOL

Deadass trying to save money but The rose concert in seattle, want to make an sd trip, want the 2k18 asia trip But also bts comeback sometime during the first half of the year and SUDDENLY WANNA ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A WORLD TOUR??? Dammit dude DAMMIT

My heart dies a little every time my coworker comes by and invites me to lunch with everyone *ugly sobs* Dies a little in a good way - just for clarification LOL

Mom dyed my hair for me! And it was darker than i thought BUT GREAT. Curiously enough, after two washes…it’s already lightening?? NO PLEASE STAY DARK. PLEASE. EDIT: lol i realized there was another “mother dyed my hair” somewhere on top lel. just for clarification - nobody else dyes my hair including myself cause i am incapable lOL

omfg i just saw the we bare bears x spao collab AND THEN FOUND THE ADVENTURE TIME X SPAO CLOTHES, SO CUTE!!! the jake and bmo hoodie )):

didn’t realize that i missed them so much ;__; we thought we would all die with the black hair but actually they just killed us with softness good thing they didn’t come out with foreheads lOL

okay lol basically that’s it because nothing happens in my life although i realze that i video recorded a lot of experiences and they’re all just video files sitting on my phone and that’s why maybe i haven’t been writing any everyday things down :O will i ever edit them? unclear

in any case - planning lots of fun things for the months to come hopefully!

#mumble mumble #does this count as #spring mumbles #debs in portland #adulting debs

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