#i don't mind people telling me to stop

[weewoobrainrot]

"it's not that deep, why do you always analyse things? like it's just a movie"

fuck you actually

#the amount of times #someone has said this to me #after i get super into something #it ruins my whole day #like jeez sorry for liking something #just tell me before i launch into my hour long essay #i don't mind people telling me to stop #but telling me its just a movie when i spent as long as i did talking about??? #dick move #movies #tv shows #analysing

[ride-a-dromedary]

"Halsin shouldn't be that big or muscular or look middle aged because he's an elf and the lore sa-"

I actually think he should be bigger and look more middle aged, personally.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #the man has been non-stop stressed for a century like i'm surprised that didn't prematurely age him MORE #i think he *should* have silver hairs peppered throughout from the endless stress he's been under #and be built like a professional strong man with a significant healthy layer of fat because he *hibernates* and is *practically strong* #and because he says he likes sweet things and doesn't find any point in denying himself things he likes #so you're telling me that man is chiseled and cut like an unhealthy bodybuilder? #no i don't think so #'elf lore says-' this game is literally all about curbing your expectations when it comes to what people are 'meant' to be #elf lore says a lot of things that halsin fits *to a t* - his appearance being out of the 'norm' is not a flaw #but it doesn't matter then does it? only when he physically fits the species paradigm? #'that's not how elf aging works!' why not? you've seen how human's age yeah? different people age in different ways #you can line up ten 50 year olds next to one another and not a single one of them will look the same #the thing is that under every single umbrella there is diversity of experience #people will look and age differently from others - that's just how life and genetic diversity *works* #anyway this is a gripe at two different things at once don't mind me

[bonefall]

Maybe I'll make a post on this at some point but like, something deeply fucked up about TNP and Po3 that people have totally forgotten about is how badly they try to whine that "Tigerstar Had Good Traits :("

Firestar does it, Brambleclaw does it, and they keep doing this after it becomes this GRAND irony that Firestar almost gets Tiger'd to death in a fox trap because he was too trusting. Bramble gets his pity award of keeping deputyship and then cries to his son about how No One Saw The Good In Tigerstar :(

And it's wiiiiild that no one else in this fandom has done anything with the fact that Leopardstar broke the Warrior Code to appoint Hawkfrost, who had no apprentice, an extremely aggressive and warmongering Tigerclone who says things like "Tigerstar wasn't the worst cat to look up to." ONLY qualifying trait was being kinda like Tigerstar.

And she practically did that the SECOND Mistyfoot went missing. And then Leopardstar continued to be one of the most violent and xenophobic leaders through Po3, joining with WindClan to attack ThunderClan.

What I'm getting at is that like, a few years ago, with books like "Blackfoot's Reckoning" and "Shadow in RiverClan" it's like they suddenly decided to retcon in a bunch of "redemption arcs" in hindsight. They just pretended like there was this grand high reckoning with TigerClan, when there literally wasn't, and if anything that caused SERIOUS problems for the cast that the authors didn't fully acknowledge as such.

And now ppl haven't actually read the main series and are just working with their recent memory of all these retcon books.

But TNP and PO3 are still there, and you can go and see the ACTUAL timeline where Leopardstar is really not apologetic at all, and Blackstar is a useful stooge for the very next wannabe dictator that strolls in, in spite of the new side content that COMPLETELY mischaracterized them for their plots to work.

#I just wish people could be more critical of this #And im not entirely anti-retcon. Mind you #But I am here because i think these retcons make them WORSE characters. It's BAD for a character to GET a book with a redemption arc and-- #Then they don't change at all and act like totally different people later in the timeline #And Leopardstar is the worse one between her and Blackstar BECAUSE she has sooo many active choices here #Im confident in my choice for BB the more I think about it. Leopardstar's dismantling of the bonehill was good #But it works better as a tragedy imo with the rest of the series in mind #That for a brief moment. A fleeting whim. She could have changed. #But she never did. #And Blackstar who was FAR less repentant at the time DID eventually turn around. #At the end of the day one of them appointed Hawkfrost as codebreaking deputy. #And the other did not. #And I think it's fucking bullshit the way that Leopardstar's retcondemption implies that Hawkfrost was just so tricky he mislead her #The old and experienced leader who had been fooled by a tiger before and was soso sorry for it. Just got tricked. #Like fuck off. She never had a redemption. Stop trying to tell me she did 15 years later #She's a girlboss who empires too close to the sun in pursuit of power and drags everyone down with her #Not a sad weepy smolbean #Bone babble #Warrior cats analysis

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one #prob best if u don't expand the tags #am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time #so I think I get a pass on this one. #one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch #it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie! #there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who #have not. okay so far so normal. #and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that #when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in #a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs #and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and #they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times #like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying #I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so #I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of #them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in #their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door #this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl #this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything #AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great #emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too #is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!' #I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of #knowing how to coexist politely in public #anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out. #I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who #found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness #I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think #hater hour over love u guys bye

[andthebeanstalk]

ur post about queerbaiting and the dismissal of people in fandom to critical analysis is so incredibly true thank you. i feel like marcille's writing in the anime has been super misogynistic a lot of the time and every time i bring this up all anyone wants to say is "well maybe this isn't for you! and you shouldn't watch the show!" like. i don't think this is about taste lmao, i am analyzing the text in front of me and coming to conclusions about the craft of it.

[This is in reference to this post]

YES!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

It is so so frustrating!!!!

It's like being at a restaurant and being served a bunch of delicious appetizers, but then one of the bread appetizers is literally just a plate of crumbs; and then when you're like, "Hey, uhh, why are we being served literal crumbs?", a bunch of the other folks eating at the restaurant are like,

"WELL HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DON'T EAT HERE THEN??!? YOU MUST NOT BE THAT HUNGRY, SO JUST FIND ANOTHER RESTAURANT AND DON'T EAT WITH US!!"

And maybe they say it politely, but "Aw, sorry, maybe this restaurant just isn't for you 💖" is just trading out an aggressive dismissive tone for a patronizing dismissive tone. It's the same message.

And it's like! I was honestly happy to move on from the crumbs once my complaint was acknowledged because the meal overall is still delicious, but then all these folks got SUPER WEIRD AND DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT, so now I find myself double-checking all the other dishes -- and, actually, you know what those eggs DO look a Iittle misogynistic undercooked!!!!

#original #queerbaiting #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi #falin x marcille #marcille x falin #marcille donato #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi marcille #listen i like marcille but u r right she is basically there to be a wet blanket a LOT of the time and that is a sexist trope #i think the bar is super super low for female characters in adventure anime and the lack of constant ogling maybe makes the female #characters feel better written than they are. i mean falin basically has no personality. she's got an innocent heart but that's nothing. #and i think these conversations are worth having bc no piece of media is perfect and this is how we learn to do better #also like. I've seen media criticisms that make me go 'oh you straight up should reserve commentary bc you #haven't watched the show and you're wrong' or 'i see what you're saying but you are simply incorrect' but like #i don't think I'd tell someone to just NOT watch Hazbin Hotel bc they have a bad take - and certainly not bc they have accurately #pinpointed a real flaw about the show (of which there are more than a few but frankly not what became the biggest subject of Disc Horse) #Angel is actually an amazing character & i think people mistook a criticism on the way abuse is glamourized as actually glamourizing abuse #like his song about abuse is called Poison and he's trapped in an abusive performance contract - bringing to mind Britney Spears #i think it is a wildly triggering and painful scene but i think a lot of people took the pain it gave them to mean it was bad art #but tbh they are still allowed to eat at the table if they so choose!!! #sorry i got sidetracked - as an abuse survivor Angel just matters a lot to me. i have a couple serious criticisms of vivziepop's work but #Angel is very much not one of them #also in regards to the actual subject of this post i think the most audacity of the responses i got was the one that said #that by complaining about queerbaiting I was 'de-incentivizing writers to write any interaction b/t women that could look even a little gay #and I'm just like. good. I hope they stop writing entirely. if the takeaway from 'please don't sell me bread and then serve me crumbs' is #'WELL NOW I JUST WON'T BAKE ANY BREAD PRODUCT' then that person is a bad chef. they should find a different job. #or at least do a whole lot of work on themselves. but either way i wouldn't be too broken up to know i won't be getting any food from them. #'just leave then' is so obviously a gut reaction defense mechanism & it implies media criticism should only be for things you don't like

[katyspersonal]

I find it very ironic how the same cultish looser that shuns people based on who they're friends with because she genuinely thinks if you believe something you can't have human interactions or treatment to those who believes otherwise..... will preach hard and proud against harassment for people's headcanons, ships and takes whereas being friends with the person who did harass people's headcanons, ships and takes. But why rules are always only for their victims and never for them? What's so hard about following what you preach? Go ahead, disown this person and be mean to everyone who still likes them and want to give them a chance, you SHOULD by the terms that YOU'VE chosen! But you won't, you'll rather cover their ass and pretend you haven't seen the evidence, to save the face, because should you ever admit a mistake you'll explode from the notion of not being so "holy". PEAK L0garius and Alfred behavior.

#/vagueblogging #regardless of what is your stance on 'tell me who is your friend and I'll tell who you are' #i think we all can agree that a person should should should SHOULD!!!! practice what they preach #also feel slightly guilty about this comparison because MY L0garius is different lol #he's just a messy hermit that picked up long historical grudge #but there is 'personal interpretation' and 'general vibe'. they're logarius and alfred. #he definitely preaches shit and then covers his allies who go against this shit #average cleric L yeah #also I am still mad at 'she lovebombed me and then stopped after learning I'm friends with alfred!!!' #okay first: thanks for admitting that my attention was so crucial for you I am most flattered #second: unlike you who BLOCKS people for answering asks from me to shun the non-believer I- #-don't mind who people are friends with #and I 'stopped' because your blog changed from multi-character to a ship I don't see #you who blocks people for shipping a thing instead of just blocking ship tag must understand??? #regardless of what anyone dislikes in my personality at least I can't get accused of hypocrisy #ugh. #you fools BETTER have an excuse that you babysit alfred and teach them to not harrass #because then this breaks all thinkable levels of hypocrisy and this is just dumb

[midnightcowboy1969]

tw assault, don't worry, just thinking out loud

it's horrible that people feel that they have to question themselves like was I actually assaulted, I did the same thing, but it's nice to know that this uncertainty isn't a me thing

#is it bad that i just go hold on hold don't worry about me it was just physical but also he did like me #so im just glad there were people there and that they worried #but i do feel a sorta burden that im still thinking about it #because the people there asked me whether they should talk to the guy to make him stop but i said no even though i had tears in my eyes #because we were /just/ playing around #him lifting me up and then putting me on the floor and then fucking holding me down legs around my legs #like he's a fucking alien #he's a huge guy #i feel like it's too late to tell my best friend #it was her party #and he was there at the party the next year #and he was nice didn't seem like he had memories of it #and nothing happened #I don't want to unnecesarily ruin my friends friendships #and he might get the wrong idea #my mind always go to oh he was drunk #he'd drunk a lot so is it that big of a deal #i felt terror when his legs coiled around my own #genuinly what the fuck is wrong with the guy #i watched hoots' newest video which made me think #but the thing is i've got a habit of staying silent about things having been done to me #i got bullied throughout fucking kindergarten and some elementary school #never told anyone #and my parents were always like why are you never playing with anyone #idk maybe because i can name the names of people who like to see me cry

[fictionadventurer]

&

#'what do you do for fun?' people ask me #'write 1300 word essays about lincoln's secretary of state' i don't tell them #i am no doubt pushing the limits of your tolerance for american history facts #i'm pushing the limits of my own tolerance for my nerdiness #but i haven't had a fandom this fascinating in years #let me get this out of my system #i feel guilty about flooding my dash with this stuff #i'd feel guiltier except that fandom is kind of tumblr's thing #if i can deal with peoples' ghosts and vampires they can scroll past my presidents #i scheduled the post for tomorrow morning to give you a couple hours' break #i wasn't even going to write it out until i was like 'what other kind of post should i write?' #and the main idea coming to mind was about how the seward-lincoln story was giving me thoughts about some of my ocs #and i decided to cave and just write about the guy himself #it was a lot more extensive and time-consuming than i expected #i got a bit embarrassed when i realized how much time i'd devoted to that this evening #hadn't realized quite how far gone i was #i should really cleanse my mental palate with a fairy tale or two #or at least stop writing these tags and get some sleep

[feral-radfem]

I'm not going to be tone policed on how I talk about any subject whether it personally affects any of you or not. I am certainly not going to be persuaded to speak more kindly to my oppressors and/or direct political opponents because they are personally affected by the issue I'm talking about.

Some of y'all are letting the female socialization that demands we be kind and considerate at the expense of ourselves (& our social movements) push you right into sugar coating important topics and out of being an effective communicator.

#cutting off any healthy tissue for an aesthetic or mental anguish is mutilation #I'm sorry if that hurts some of y'all's feelings but it's the truth of the matter #whether or not if they are kinder ways to say this is irrelevant #I'm not going to sit here and tell y'all how to talk about any subject so that you don't upset anyone #& I would personally like to stop seeing 50 different variations of the same post telling me what the appropriate way of discussing this is #I'm here to liberate women not coddle you or should you from the criticisms of your actions #we are sisters in arms in a sociopolitical fight not friends. #lily responds #like I was going to keep my mouth shut when you were just discussing that you would like for people not to say this because you are radfems #& want to feel welcomed & comfortable n the spaces you have a fool right to be in regardless if I think it's our job to ensure that comfort #but telling me I can't describe mutilation as it is bc it's hurting the trans ppl who are actively destroying my rights on mult axises? #fuck no lol. I'm not putting in effort work to spare their feelings. #especially when it seems like the most direct blunt way of describing things it's the only way to get through to them #y'all are out of your damn minds lol #ok im done #rant

[ratstuckinamarble]

Did you not learn from Frankie?? >:( /lh

But I’m glad you were able to let some things out <3

Ah geez you're sweet... I keep forgetting I'm not just shouting into the void dhsjskh

Honestly I did feel kinda called out by that episode when it aired, I was just too distracted by the Clanky content to dwell on it oops.

No but I really am trying to work on that. It's tough, I've been ridiculed so often for crying while growing up, I've basically forced my brain to not react that way when something upsetting comes up so now I often just- can't anymore.

I'm trying to get past the shame I still associate with that, and it is getting easier, little by little. Sometimes I can feel the tears teasing me but ultimately nothing happens and I'm just sitting there all "noo come back to me I need you >:(". So when I do manage to cry I'm usually cheering because of it haha.

Ah... don't mind all that, you just got me thinking. Getting to let things out is good though, even if I can currently only hope to manage that while I'm alone. The thought of crying in front of others is too much still... I think I should rewatch Crushed. I needed that message many years ago, but better late than never, right?

#I hope you don't mind me getting a little more personal like this #I was trying to keep things short #it's just- crying is so important #I used to be so good at it #I kind of miss that #doesn't help that people praise me these days for staying calm in situations that should make me cry #I try to ignore that #people who can easily cry like the stars themselves are weeping right along with you- I respect you immensely #don't let anyone tell you to stop feeling #rätposting #ask by: #bluebelleisabelle

[bitegore]

every so often i have to really wonder about the people who watch me talk about how badly i want someone to let me hurt them and fantasize about murdering imaginary characters i like and somehow assumes i'm a sub primarily and wants to be killed and chased and not, like, do the killing and chasing

#red rambles #theres a specific exchange i keep thinking of but it happens a surprising amount #i guess it's good that no one's looking at me and assuming i'm going to be a serial killer in the future any more #like im never going to forget that one girl who thought we were friends in high school telling me as i signed her yearbook #that if she heard about a serial killer on tv she was gonna immediately assume it was me. as though it was a cute jokey #thing to say and i was supposed to think it was flattering ?????? #but this one's annoying too. no i dont want your blorbo to come hunt me down and put a hole in me unless i get to do them at the same time #if i'm writing texaid it's because i want to be tex not aid. if i'm writing mm/ds it's because i want to be motormaster and not drag strip #in real life i will play along with other people's fantasies sure. that's not the same thing as having it be My Thing #if you've never played along with a partner while banging them because you don't mind and they clearly like it idk what your deal is #but mine is just that i'm not as picky as i look and i can roll with most things #that doesn't mean that idk hypno is my kink or whatever just bc i dont mind if my fuckbuddy wants to put on hypno shit in the background #like get off my dick. and stop making assumptions #ill tell you who i am if you listen and if you aren't putting it together you're not going to get it. that's all #lemon

[magentagalaxies]

i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating

#again i do not have enough performance experiences to make any definitive claims about who ''aubery's audience'' is #but i find it funny that any time i show my aubrey material one-on-one to a queer gen z person #they're always like ''i love it but straight people will definitely hate it or not get it'' #and i get the inclination to be like. ''i like this thing so people like me will like this thing'' #and cishet society seems so polarized w/r/t queer topics it's like. the assumption makes sense #however. whenever i've done an aubrey performance in front of an audience that's predominantly queer and gen z #i've actually received a primarily negative response!! and somehow straight people have never given me shit for my aubrey material #(''well straight allys don't count'' i told some of my aubrey jokes to a joe rogan dudebro and he enjoyed them) #(which yeah maybe could be a mark against my comedy but i like to think i opened his mind a bit at the very least) #i really want to test my aubrey monologues in front of a primarily gen x/boomer audience #bc so far i only have actual performance experience in front of gen z or millennials #and the older people i've told jokes to individually or shown videos of my stuff have really liked it #luckily paul has said a goal for when i'm in town this summer is to get me to perform my aubrey stuff in as many different places as possib #for both queer audiences and non-queer audiences so i can gauge reactions since i don't want to be confined to one demographic #so i'll get a lot of data points this summer #@ paul get me a performing slot at senior citizen pride lmao these are my people #(shoutout to paul going ''jess stop collecting the old homos!'' last time i was in town) #(and when i imitated him and was like ''old gay men are not your pokemon!'' bellini was like ''ok but they may be your audience'') #also one data point i really want to see the variation on is how my one specific joke plays in these different demographics #bc i have a joke that like. it's literally not even about AIDS and doesn't punch down at all #i literally say ''if you're gay and over the age of 50 you could violate the geneva convention and i'd still be like support our troops'' #like obviously being like ''you have been through hell so i will let you get away with literal war crimes you deserve ultimate immunity'' #BUT. in the line right before the quote i use the phrase ''AIDS generation'' not as a derogatory term but being like. #this horrible thing impacted the entire generation y'know? and bellini and scott and their friends call themselves that it's just the term #but when i said the phrase ''AIDS generation'' in front of my gen z audience i heard gasps and felt like they all hated me #and when i did the same line in front of millennials it wasn't quite as striking but their eyes did widen #like i was suddenly an ''edgy comedian''. but like this is a part of our history and it does inform the story i'm telling #the story i'm telling is comedic but it's grounded in this real world context #and i'm like. @ the audience who was offended: when was the last time any of y'all spoke to a gay man over the age of 50 #bc bellini loves that section of the monologue and was offended that people would even take offense to that phrase

[wachi-delectrico]

Gonna get spicy for a second and say that everyone loves spewing hate about narcissistic (NPD) parents and how awful parents with personality disorders are, but if someone were to make a post with the exact same cadence about ADHD parents they'd get shot in public at first sight

#rambling #Lemme clarify and extend my point here (cos I feel ppl could really misinterpret this one) #Am I saying people should just accept the abuse of parents if said parents have a personality disorder? No #Am I saying people with ADHD parents have it worse or that both experiences are comparable and exactly the same? No #What I'm saying is that ppl are much more eager to call out abusive or neglectful behaviour from ppl w personality disorders bc #they're seen as 'scary' or 'monstrous' and inherently evil so they have no qualms going full force at it. They think -pd ppl are the devil #But adhd in ppl's general views could never be the source of such pain from a parent to a child; ADHD ppl are seen as childish #and harmless and clueless and silly and tbh a bit stupid. Besides they could never hurt a 'monster' by jumping the gun at -pd ppl right? #'normal people don't have personality disorders so this can't affect me! But normal people can have adhd!' #That's the core of my complaint: one is dehumanised as a destructive monster; the other is as an innocent victim child #And both (parent w -pd & w adhd) can be pretty bad in their own uniqie ways! But such a thing is never considered - for the #societal construct of the child - that neurodivergencies get pushed into - is of an untainted pure inherently clueless being below human #From my exp and the exp of other friends lemme say: having an adhd parent can suck so much ass! Lol #I grew up with two opposing ideals troubling my mind: my mothers obvious overwhelming love; and the shadow her constant absence cast #She loved me so much and did as much as she could; but constantly forgot about my care and my needs and made rash choices #I think about that more and more as i age; especially as i go to doctors over and over for problems i have had since forever #It is an awful feeling to have sink in your heart: how a parent's love isn't enough; how 'maturing quick' isn't a blessing but a curse #As i grew i stopped telling my mom about my needs my school things and my life bc i got used to her forgetfulness and lack of organisation #It meant irregular eating schedules & inadequate meals. In 5th grade I'd eat table scraps at school cos my mom couldn't remember #how I'd tell her over and over that the food had to be in a specific way or it'd get burnt in the school's oven #I'd go to the 'first' dr appointment to deal w an ongoing problem & then she'd forget to schedule the following ones #You get the idea #Kind of a weird post w a strange framing device but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Smth triggered this thought last night #I'll also never forget a few months ago when i went go a specialist for my hEDS - told her I've known all my life but never got treatment #Also just. The crushing feeling of the dr saying ''you should've gotten your own med team to work ur case since u were young!' #And just. silently nodding & wanting to cry feeling validated but also so hurt looking @ the obvious neglect #Anyways hey how did this therapy session go Doctor

[jinhyun]

.

#no but what is it with people that feel entitled to have you do your job for them for free #like this dude that mind you is not even my friend has called me ten times since yesterday #there was this unknown number texting me on wsp saying hello and then wouldn't stop calling me throughout the day so i just ignored it #and then at night my cousin texted me saying that x person was trying to contact me and said i wouldn't answer #and i was like what do they want #and she was like 'legal advice' LIKE ?????? #i'm IN THE PROCESS of becoming a lawyer i'm not even one yet meaning i can't act like one and get paid for it #and sure i do help my friends and family with legal stuff for free bc i love them but like. people who aren't close to me i don't really #have to??? #it takes actual time out of my day to help them out #and to have this guy who just called me AGAIN today and now texted me like 20 minutes ago telling me to pick up my phone i mean??????? #idk what you need but either be willing to pay me or get an actual lawyer my dude i'm not obliged to do shit for you #i mean if he just texted me it'd be /fine/ ig but it's the fact that he's demanding to talk on the phone with me when i have anxiety and #hate talking on the phone #like just tell me what you want and go. i'll see whether i can help you out or not but just stop spamming meeeeeeee #i'm deleting this later i just needed to let it out JDÑSJDÑS i don't even wanna check my phone anymore lmao

[lith-myathar]

There's this shitty thing about having trained yourself not to have needs, which is that you become so good at hiding them that even when you think you're signaling that you're upset and need help, it's so outwardly subtle that nobody really notices or they read it as a signal to leave you alone.

(Which is so wrongheaded in and of itself, like one needs to ASK for help not wait in silent agony for someone to notice you're in pain.)

and that sucks because it makes you feel like no one notices when you're upset because no one actually cares about you enough to pay attention

#it's such a self defeating behavior bc it's wanting people to be mind readers or whatever #to just be able to divine and anticipate your needs #kind of comes from the trauma response i think? like *I* am constantly trying to read moods and anticipate needs and reactions #like i want someone else to be as laser focused on my needs #as ive been on the needs of people around me living as a severe people-pleaser desperately trying to circumvent conflict #for as long as i can remember #but that's not really fair i think? because it's wanting people to act in a maladaptive way towards you? #to mirror your own maladaptive behavior #tell you what it's all Big Oofs and i really don't like it #i also hate the actual asking for help because *that's admitting i have needs* and not having needs = survival #it all just leads to problems getting really bad before i can even admit to myself i need to ask for help #godddddddd they did a number in me. like my parents weren't emotionally capable of dealing with my needs so they'd shut me down #with gaslighting or shaming or lashing out at me verbally #they didn't know how to help so instead they tried to make ''the problem'' (i.e. my difficult emotions) go away #they never went away but i did learn to stop asking for help or expecting anything but rebuke if i did

[gfwooyo]

what songs would you recommend to someone who wants to know what kind of music ateez makes?

ooooh okay this is a hard question bc their discography is SO diverse I feel like they really experiment with everything but this chart (missing their latest album) is a super helpful starting place if you know what kinda vibe you prefer

but my PERSONAL favorites that also show their range are inception, hala hala, turbulence, halazia, promise, take me home, be with you, cyberpunk, mist, guerrilla, eternal sunshine, answer, the real, django, fever, and outlaw (also shout out to silver light, youth, it's you, and crazy form from their most recent album. also everything if u like ballads and matz if u like hip hop) (it's killing me not listing more songs like it's actually painful they're soooooo good)

they're def more known for their anthemic songs and their performances but they have suuuuch a varied discography I feel like everyone could find something they like! also this flow chart is cool if u don't like that other chart

it's missing halazia and the world series but it covers the majority!! and then finally this tiktok is a cool way to quickly see but just know even this barely scratches the surface

sorry I couldn't give u a simpler answer and info dumped but thank u for giving me the opportunity 🫂

ps. HIGHLY recommend looking for performances when u find a song u like bc they're so fucking good. mvs too if it's a title track

#i'm aware i'm biased tho bc i don't think they've ever missed #but wahhhhh if people would just give them a chance!!!!! #lyrically the fever series is my favorite bc it hits hard #when i was listing my personal faves i started with like 8 and kept going back adding more i'm so sorry i couldn't narrow it down any more😭 #I LITERALLY JUST WENT BACK AND ADDED ANOTHER SKFJFHSSK #a non crazy person would be more concise as to not scare off a potential fan but alas. #they're my special interest and talking abt them makes me happy :') #tried to put a tldr at the bottom with just 4 songs to start with but failed i just couldn't do it rip 😭 #refusing to add another song but don't stop was my top song on spotify wrapped 2022 so. do with that what u will #if u check them out pleaseeee tell me 🙏 unless u don't like them in which case let me live in ignorance #idk if u already listen to kpop but if u don't just go into it with an open mind pls it's so fun #ateez was the group that got me into kpop and nobody has ever surpassed them for me #OKAY I'M DONE I'LL SHUT UP #ateez #anonymous #answers #*