#i feel like im getting exactly what ive asked for

[mattzerella-sticks]

Listen I am a Buddie shipper, believer, truther - what have you.

BUT!

But I can also admit that Buck dating another guy on screen, canon Buck bisexuality outside of Eddie, Evan 'Boykisser Buck' Buckley is something I have been WAITING for. We need more bisexual male rep on TV.

And already I'm getting ideas for fics because of BuckTommy.

Buddie will happen. But let's enjoy BuckTommy for now.

#9 1 1 on abc #evan 'buck' buckley #canon bisexual buck #tommy kinard #bucktommy #eddie diaz #buddie #buck x eddie #we haven't had a buck relationship this good since abby and that was in season ONE #and listen I've been here since season 2 since i saw the elf scene and decided to hitch my wagon to this horse #and how i always saw buddie happening was with one of the guys coming out and getting into a relationship with some new guy #and jealousy miscommunication and pining #ensue #i feel like im getting exactly what ive asked for

[plulp]

MORE HAPRER PLEATHE HES SO FINE

youve asked this at such a good time because i had just had a harper design explanation idea and i wasnt sure if i should make it or not:

#im sorry i didnt do something more serious i tried to thats what ive been doing for the past since you sent this ask but. i couldnt #im sorry but feel free to send another ask and itll take me longer to get to it but ill draw something serious next time promise #my art #asks #harper the doctor #dol #anonymouse #sorry its not my usual style for this blog #just couldnt get it right with the other things #i also had to make like 4 new brushes because my old ones didnt feel right anymore #sigh. such is the life i lead #because i do think the side bun is cute but i do Not think harper would settle for that if there wasnt a good reason #my reasoning is that. harper cant tie their hair #please clap #im trying to find what this looks like though but i cant #but i swear one of these panels looks exactly like something ive drawn before #i just cant put my finger on it #maybe it was a sketch i deleted or something i have no idea #EDIT: found it it was a sketch on whiteboard my friend took a screenshot of #i dont feel right putting this in the dol tags because this is literally nothing. something that only applies to my design of harper #but i do want to keep my blog sorted :(

[puppyeared]

Its really freeing when “gender is just a construct” really sinks in and you dont see yourself identifying with any pre-existing gender that the answer is “wait I can just make my own gender lol.” So. Hello everyone. Im pupgender now

#I still use he/she/they and if someone asks I’ll probably still say nonbinary unless its someone I trust this information with #I just. wanted something made just for me. thats it lol #I get that its important to some people to belong and I think if they really want to find a community who shares the way they feel #about themselves thats actually so wholesome and beautiful #its just that im tired of saying im not really sure what I am whenever it comes up in conversation #because I DO know what I am its just that its not exactly something u would call a gender. except u can and I just did it #this also doesnt mean I use pup/pups pronouns even if it fits the neopronoun naming scheme. I just need something to call myself that #feels like me I guess #Ive never been good at staying self contained in terms of identity so might as well #yapping #diary

[lhrry]

x

#aotv spoilers #ok you’re asking for my opinions let’s do it #i love louis!!!! im so proud of him and im so happy i got to watch him on his journey for so long and can’t wait for what’s to come for him #and i think my love for him and for his music and for my time in the fandím and for one d etc is what makes this a good watch and why i #liked it because otherwise i have my reservations to the movie and im not going to get into the babygate stuff #apart from the fact that louis trying to get freddie to hug him was extremely awkward and ive never seen less organic thing than the beach #scene and i find it funny they tried to push that as organic so hard #my issue is that it just had a potential to be a much better film is all sksmsk #it is good but it feels a bit rushed and kind of cheap in some ways and i get that’s the style of these biopics sometimes but #like it was such a shame the bg music was not really gold and was always exaggeratedly emotional because it made it cheesy and cheap and #kind of forced #i think it would have a great potential to get many people to say wow this is a strong talented guy and i think it is a great intro but i #think they undersold the movie so it’s not going to have a chance to reach an audience much wider than his current fanbase which is a shame #for his current fanbase it is a solidification and reiteration of his promo season and it is very clear where they want louis to stand and #what they want his image to be like and i think it’s absolutely amazing how they managed to show his growth as an artist and as a human and #and place him in a position where he’s now confident and secure and ready to embark on a new journey etc. although for the fans there’s #nothing new there and i think it’s worth considering how exactly they’re portraying and that they completely left out his relationships #aside from his family and the band #i think it’s important that it was noted he was undersestimated and pushed down and i think they made obvious how much he’s worked on #himself #i think it’s kinda clear they’re using it as a faith in the future promo with the new songs even though the doc ends with the end of the #tour #i think it’s interesting how many rainbow flags they chose to include without addressing the way his shows and fanbase look at all because #if i were from Gp id wonder what’s up with that esp when he only acknowledged the kmm project again #generally i think it’s a good watch that’s very transparent in what it’s trying to do for louis promo and image wise and it doesn’t tell #you anything new but it reminds you why you love this man so much while also leaving you a bit disappointed because this had a much #greater cinematic potential and a lot of it feels either rushed or underfinanced or forced and that’s a shame

[hella1975]

normal again :)

#what the hell was even all that!!!! #im still going through it but like. ive been better today like i didnt just ferment in a dark room hardly eating #and i also got some writing done that actually worked exactly how i wanted it to and i had that age old 'ive still got it!' moment #bc every time i encounter so much as a stone in the road of my writing i convince myself im terrible always have been terrible #will never be good ever and everyone hates me. so there's that #and then i actually interacted with my family and left the blinds up and now we just ordered a take out together so im just. existing #someone is having a paintball battle in my brain still but im being much more chill about it today god bless #and that's all that matters! as long as no one can TELL im going through it it doesnt count! showing emotions is bad! for the love of GOD #dw im pissing myself off too it's okay LMFAO #im gonna answer some asks though! bc not only is there a shitton again but also that always puts me in a good mood #sorry to anyone who has sent me time sensitive asks in the past few weeks. my motivation has just been dead #i do see and enjoy everything i get sent though so please dont feel like it was wasted and ill hopefully still answer it :) #hella goes home

[munch-mumbles]

grr. i need. to find a NEW JOB. eyeing a decent looking factory one on indeed rn but its scary bc i KNOW im not getting fired from my current one anytime soon it feels safe but i dont know about other ones and i currently really cant afford to fuck around with finances..... grr

#current one is safe and pays Just Enough but its retail. i cant stay here forever lest i go insane #factory one im looking at is second shift and has a review that makes it sound like exactly what im looking for (quiet get to mostly just #work by yourself doing easy stuff so i can daydream) #BUT. its a longer commute and it doesnt list exact hours or wage. which like i can ask during an interview but im not a fan that its not #directly listed...... hrngh. #EDIT WHO REBLOGGED THIS???? #it literally wont show me weird. anyways realized another reason this current job feels safe is bc its the first job ive been able to be #out as trans at and actually be respected for it #i cant go back to being called my deadname on hte job. i refuse

[kraviolis]

i hate knowing that i would be so fucking good at and have so much fun with GTA RP while also being physically incapable of even trying it out.

#krav talks #god is keeping me from doing GTA RP bcus they know it would completely take over my life and all i would do every single day is GTA RP #just watching it scratches an itch in my brain i can only imagine what actively participating would feel like #i just hope that when im finally physically capable of it its not like. completely dead and gone. #and also i mean. i could just. make a mute character. thats the main problem #but also that would limit my RP abilities so much #even tho i can type super fast typing does make me overthink myself #vs just talking in improv forces me to come up with something quickly and flows better #the one thing that ive always hated about RPG-types like fallout or sims or the like is that after the first playthru it gets sooo boring #bcus everything becomes so predictable #and mmos ive never liked bcus its so strange and uncomfortable to just see all these ppl around but have no immersive way to interact #but GTA RP and especially nopixel is like. EXACTLY what ive been looking for my whole life #i was obsessed with darkrp gmod servers as a youngin and loved the mix of practical mechanics with roleplaying #ive never been able to do tabletop rpgs bcus of my struggle with audio processing #and ttrpgs are literally 90% listening to someone explain whats happening #vs. roleplaying in multiplayer video games which just let me SEE whats goin on so i'd just have to ask ppl to repeat what they said #rather than asking a game master to repeat what they just said but theyve spent the past 5 minutes explaining the situation in detail

[ouchhq]

i think im gonna ask my therapist to get me an appointment with the private psychiatrist she suggested

#yesterday was kind of the wake up call #for a few days ive been feeling very little… still feeling bad but like sort of numb and i keep questioning wheter i actually need meds or #not which .. in any case i will not decide but a specialist will but anyways #and i was looking through book fairs and how to get appointments with publishers to show ur portfolio and just generally feeling like the #most incompetent person ever and also like i will never get anywhere because my style isn’t exactly what u see in most illustrated books #95% of which are childrens books…… and those styles are just different #anyway i digress #my grandma called and she was like what are u doing and i told her how stressed i was and i just started crying mid-sentence and i told her #i dont know where to bang my head anymore its too difficult and confusing and i feel like im just not good enough and im tired of trying to #keep it together.. she knows im not well mentally #like i was SOBBING #and she was like u shouldnt think like that u have to be patient keep trying and contact those publishers and whatever #and i get that she was trying to motivate me but i just told her flat out i. am. unwell. i dont know what to do anymore with this brain #and i asked her to please not tell me how i should think because i cant #and i know my grandad was there with her because he always is and he heard and like an hour later he came to my house to pick something up #and he was like ‘earlier i heard things i dont like’ aka me being depressed out of my mind #and then he said ‘we should talk about it sometime’ and proceeded to completely change the subject to his gums problem because he was going #to the dentist….ok #and the funny thing is things like this where people acknowledge that im struggling but proceed to say nothing about it keep happening #like i have a friend that i talk to very often and we say p much everything to each other but now shes working so she takes weeks to reply #and i told her i was doing VERY bad and of course she has her problems too… and she hasn’t replied to me in like three weeks or so #and she sent a text basically saying im dorry i havent replied yet i want to have time to do it well and hear how youre doing but hear this! #and proceeded to tell me stuff about her work and whatever… which is fine but dont tell me u care about how i am if u cant even check in #when u do have time because clearly u can send texts… #anyways im rambling good morning i already cried and its not even 9 great !!

[munamania]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love #what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it #why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties #of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often #so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk #and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore #i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them #. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec #but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd #but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE. #OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL. #and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness #but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart. #this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it #that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too #and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch #now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it. #because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do #something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope #and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude #this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post #ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting #all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever

[egyptianking]

I was really brave last month and asked a guy on a date myself after we had been talking for a little while (and I thought he was about to ask me earlier but I threw him off talking about grieving etc). I'm not someone who puts myself out there, I'm terrified of rejection and really don't think of myself as someone desirable but this guy went to my primary school,.senior school, uni AND we have loads of mutual friends who have been trying to get us together. I felt really proud of myself and he said he'd let me know when he was back in Liverpool and we'd make arrangements at the end of march. Here we are on the last day of march and I've not heard a word from him since.

#im so sick of this it always happens #no one is ever interested me and i mean no one #i never get asked on dates i never get flirted with or have people in my dms #or dronks bought for me or compliment unless they're from girls and gays #ive kissed exactly 2 people in my life (one time each) both while very drunk and have never spoke to them since #i just want to know whats wrong with me that puts men off me so much #ive followed everyones advive #i think im quite pretty and i know i dress well and am friendly and approachable and sociable #im not asking to have men fighting over me #but I'd just like someone to show me any interest #to reassure me that im not repulsive #bc thats how i feel

[pepprs]

idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#delete later #im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty #and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related #replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has #opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg #i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy #purrs #also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old #characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped #landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only #ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing #all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so #sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j #just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was #important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i #feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those #friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters #when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me #in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol #* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad) #like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th #the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain #anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but #i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol #also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned #that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all #anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#today i am experiencing a very weird form of stress. one i have not felt since being an undergrad with no self awareness #like i stood at my door for like 15min today with my forehead resting on the wall. trying to get myself to go outside #and that has not happened in a loooong time #at least i managed to get some algae transferred. i did it while feeling halfway outside my body but i did no it #its just the interview i have tomorrow. idk y i agreed to it bc this one im like 90% sure i dont wanna go to #bc one its in new jersey and i dont wanna deal with east coast driving. also its not a ivy league school but its wanky enough that i felt #like i should look up whether it was or not. and i dont think i would b well suited to that sort of environment #also when i interviewed with the guy last time i was iffy abt him as a boss bc idk he felt kinda pretensions and very hands off #but his students like the lab so idk. the project would b cool but like idk not exactly what i want #so fucking idk what im gonna say tomorrow. i dont even kno whats supposed to happen #bc its like i had to pick 3 ppl to interview with but one dropped out and im like... r they just asking generic questions..??? #so im anticipating a cluster fuck but ifk at least its not in person lol. hopefully itll b ok once i start talking #its just had me borderline incapacitated for the last 2 days #aye. i want it to be next week when im. hopefully. having fun touring a school i actually wanna go to #it would b cool to b near the ocean tho. ive never lived thst near an ocean #unrelated #sorry for being so whiney. this month is just a lot rip

[todayisafridaynight]

NO YEAH IF ANYONE'S EQUIPPED TO KICK ASS IN THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IT'S THE ARAKAWAS LMAO

Okay, in terms of Aoki's actual arrest, that would've been chiefly for (as the news ticker says) incitement to murder and, y'know, taking a police officer hostage/assaulting a police officer.

I believe incitement is weighed the same as perpetration. While the gang survived the explosion, Ishioda didn't (I think?), so it's more than "attempted" murder. And because of the number of people involved, it would probably be considered incitement to aggravated murder, which narrows the options to a life sentence or the death penalty (or, at the very least, marks them as strong possibilities).

While normally incitement is difficult to prove (as it would be for most every other instance he did it; Jo would never talk, Ishioda is Kind Of Dead, and for Arakawa Tendo was, yeah, acting of his own accord), they have some pretty solid evidence + probably a confession, given Aoki's intentions to turn himself in.

So in terms of the original question, there isn't really much else that needs to be considered, since it's not like it can get any worse than a life sentence no matter what else he confesses to… Aside from the death penalty, but if Jo managed to avoid one, Aoki probably could? Unless Jo's age was a consideration since realistically a life sentence would probably kill him in the same amount of time it'd take to carry out an execution.

But for the sake of completionism, Suzumori's murder could very much be argued as a case of self-defense. Being assaulted after his body had already been pushed to its limits absolutely could have resulted in his death, so it'd probably be down to possession charges. I can understand Arakawa and Jo being dead set on keeping him out of prison even with that being the case, though; prison lowers the average person's lifespan as-is, and it could very well have killed Masato.

After that it's mostly a laundry list of collusion and corruption charges I'm not crazy enough to unpack, but. Yeah. I think Aoki and Jo would've been in for life… Kinda makes me wonder how it all would've played out if Aoki'd had that change of heart and they spent those last years together and Jo inevitably died first...

essentially, for the Quick Byte version for the mate who initially asked: life sentence if not the death penalty

#snap chats #tbh i think we all lowkey assumed he'd be getting life or death LMAO idk why??? i didnt say that in my iniital ask??? dumb shit ☠️ #i was too focused on trying to explain exactly what he'd be charged with just for clarity sake #i dont think ive made it apparent how thankful i am for your asks when im too lazy to properly answer my own VJLRAKVLKJ SO THANK YOU #esp with the week ive been having.. it seems like a small thing to be grateful for all things considered but i still am #nor could i ever be as thorough as you so i get the same exp as the initial asker now dont i (´▽` ) #moving on from that though. yeah no youd have to like. idk pay me to collect a comprehensive list of what he'd be done in for LMAO #i know american law just fine but i forgot everything i ever looked up when it comes to japanese law #i know statute of limitations on murder isnt a thing anymore.. but i mentioned looong ago that Yeah Suzumori Can Be Argued Self Defense #again the only reason to care for clarification is purely for clarification and just wanting to know yk. yeah we know. #the official charges hardly matters when it's already guaranteed he's going away for life or getting hanged #all of that said. i'll hoard my aoki-reunites-with-jo-in-jail fics and keep them close to my soul.. #im gonna be haunted with that question until i die #how about until i sleep cause MAN all of a sudden i just feel groggy #it is almost like. 1AM tbf. a normal time to be tired to be sure #and yet i still want to stay up......

[soggypotatoes]

ugh ok so like

I dissociate a lot, have my whole life, but a few days ago I experienced a complete switch over for the first time and it's still ongoing

like. I had therapy that day and I walked in and was like. acting very normal, because I can do that, and she pretty quickly asked '...have we met before?' and I've seen her every day since then so we're trying to work it out

I honestly thought at first that I'd died and been reincarnated into a living body by accident... but after seeing her a few times and trying to figure out who I am I see what's happening. it was scary but I'm adapting. I don't think this will last much longer. apparently something extremely triggering happened on Sunday and I actually passed out and woke up like this. I'm ok though. this is happening to keep me ok. like I'm totally fine, not really stressed about things, except for the fact that I'm dealing with a lot of fatigue.

still not sure who I am or why this is happening. but there ya go.

✌️

#she said im acting completely different lol #i thought i was doing great #at pretending #my friend noticed too and i didnt even see them in person #i messaged them that something weirds going on thats it #and they asked if id dissociated into a different part #like . howd they know that I've only messaged them like 3 times?? #blue speaks #im afraid people will not understand or think im doing this to avoid accountability #for what? i dont know #its strange though i know exactly who everyone is but everyone feels like strangers #like im a substitute teacher whos been given a briefing #except i havent actually been a teacher before #im getting the hang of it though #ive been tagging things and posting like normal #practicing being the person im meant to be #i dont think this will last much longer thoufh #hopefully... #also i use he/him pronouns exclusively #also i dont reeeeally remember what happened but i remember passing out! #just blackness taking over me #not like falling asleep #though i did sleep for a while #i dunno man. im new here #my names not really blue btw i havent figured that out yet #i just like blue the colour #ALSO i dont like any of the clothes here looool #im going to kmart tomorrow to get different clothes #ah and if you see me irl i will be acting normal ive gotten better at it #and this might be over any day now we'll see

[35gofbeansprouts]

💭.

#:( NEED to cut my hair really soon #WANT to cut my hair really soon!!!! #i want to look like long hair freddie mercury #but how do u do that URSELF #ive stopped trusting hairdressers. it never works out #they never cut Exactly what i ask for #like they cut my hair and then right at the end they go Oh btw i did this!!! #and if they asked me i wouldve said dont do that but 💁 #its a widespread thing so Go To Someone Else isnt the solution bc everyone does it #OR if they DO cut my hair right !! they just casually charge me like $20 more than what they said on the phone #they dont explain it they just go Ok thats $55 :) #i feel like im being That Customer and theyre getting me back #why else ..... would everyone do the same thing. its weird honestly #so now i spend my life suffering with the opposite of hair goals bc APPARENTLY i cant trust ANYONE #i mean it works out the same really. just i get to keep my $50 #any hairdressers following me #can u tell me whats going on lmao

[illicit-lilies]

.

#i feel like im fundamentally broken and disconnceted she keeps askign me what i feel what i want to say and its nothing #i dont know what i should feel or say. most of the time it is nothing. and i want to change that so i can vonnect with other people #this isnt hard to understand right im not an alien speaking an alien lamgauge right. this is plaon english right. #but i cant get this across it sounds like plain english to me but i cant do it i cant articulate myself my mouth and brain dont work right #and if i cant communicate that correctly i cant get help with it and im trying really hard. this is our fifth session and #i dont think she understands exactly what im asking for exactly how many developmental milestones back ive been abandoned