Feeling drained out, just wanna stay in bed all day and listen to betrayus talk. I just wanna be my younger, carefree happier self again. I miss being a kid
I’m so repulsive to Everyone I know everyone would just love Me better if I had a cock nobody loves me for who I am they all want me to be someone I’m not and I can’t fucking change that I can take hormones and everything but it still won’t change the fact I won’t have a dick I wish I could fucking Die I am so unlovable and ugly to everyone I hate my self I hate myself so fucking much I wish I was a man I wish I was a fucking man I hate this so fucking much I hate my fucking body I hate my genitals I hate myself I hate myself I wish that I Could just be a fucking man
So, I was watching tua 3.04 and they really gave Diego and Allison so much to work with and do you know what they did with that potential? Absolutely nothing after this episode, which is heartbreaking.
Because as I mentioned I think Allison needed someone to talk to and Diego was in almost reverse situation with Stan (then it was Lila being pregnant for real). They could of had a really powerful story arc right there... and the writers were so close with this episode and the last scene in 3.03.
By acknowledging Allison someone to reach out to (besides Viktor) and then finding a new purpose... but ultimately proving too difficult to work. And maybe one conversation doesn't fix things, but also the fact that Diego tried and nothing came of it afterwards? The writers just... I'm a little frustrated because you can clearly see the wiser direction for Diego and Allison's arc as siblings. Maybe it could be Diego taking Allison's side later after in 3.07. It’s just tua explores so many sib relationships and this one always feels like the writers don't try hard enough.
It really fucking sucks when it’s: “I’m too busy for you. I don’t have time for you.” Bc it’s never like that for me. Even w my piece of shit cheating ex bf, I made time even though it ended up being all for nothing. I would always make time for the person I love but I know I’m stupid so
There's something seriously wrong with me. Just went on the shortest date ever. My anxiety has been extremely high all day. The dude picks me up, and tries to go to a restaurant in my town and caused me to get so overwhelmed with anxiety. Then starts asking me why I'm on a dating site if I just push people away. At this point I'm crying so I told him to bring me home. And to top it off, he just called me insane and is continuing to ridicule me. Then said he wants to sleep with me. Wtf is wrong with people. I'm over it. I'm over life. I'm over people. I'm over being alone and I'm over being the way that I am. I hate who I am. I hate how I act. I hate not being able to talk about it. And I hate not being able to let people in. I hope y'all have a great weekend. It's a sad thing when I feel more connected to people on Tumblr than I do people I've met in real life. I just want to be like everyone else.
Wanted to finish the next chapter of the lost pearl but my body had different plans. Got a migrane, stomach pain, leg pain was unbearable probably inflamed again. So I taped my feet to take the pressure on some areas off but I am so bruised up from whatever the fuck that the tape is now top of them and it is so uncomfortable 🙃 this day went from okay to fuck you real quick.