#i have a real job - a career even

[designernishiki]

i keep asking my friend why majima no majirock Exists and he always just says “well kurohyo needed karaoke songs” and when I follow that up with “that literally explains nothing, how and why does majima have a popular rock hit that’s technically canon because kurohyo exists in the same universe as the mainline games” he just casually says “i don’t know. it’s just there.” needless to say I have no answers and the enigma of majima no majirock just sits in my brain eating at me indefinitely

#what IS it. why is it THERE. why does it SLAP #why do you occasionally hear it on the radio in stores or in the taxi in various yakuza games #and no one ever addresses it. it’s just. there #ITS KILLING ME. WHAT IS THE LORE. DID HE HAVE A VERY BRIEF CAREER AS AN IDOL. IS MAJIMA A ONE HIT WONDER #rambling #majima #everyone’s idol goro is real but his outfit is extremely different than whatever he both started and ended his career in #probably more leather involved #and yes I see how this could tie in with mirei which makes it even more fucking wild #this man’s done every job on the face of the earth #ohhhhhhhhhh actually imagine a visual kei sorta look….. #that’d fuck so hard man

[gideonisms]

almost nothing is worth losing sleep over, I decided this after being 22. academic failure is better than losing a single night's sleep over something so silly. but at the same time, this proposal was due a, week and a half ago,

#what do i say when i turn it in. sorry but over the past few years i've seen the ultimate futility of trying to have a fulfilling career #when i hate interacting with other people in person to the extent that i do #and it's made every assignment feel meaningless in a system that i know is mostly #a way that you pay for a job where you get a consistent schedule and a living wage #and aside from all that i'm so burned out from everything i've done since i was 18 that eating 3 meals a day is a real challenge #and even if i was successful at this and got to a stable job & did middle class activities it still wouldn't be enough i wouldn't fit in #my family still wouldn't be happy i still wouldn't be capable of having real connections irl without mimicking my way into it like a robot #i did try to do the assignment 4 times though #have a nice day? #i can't say all that i run out of good excuses so i just simply don't say anything :)

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #im like so happy rn. but also terrified #bc like. uh. gotta go back to the real world of having a job after bein in school for 3 years DNDNJDNDNDNDN #and also like. my boy problem. like NDJFJDJDJJDJDJDJD #big transitions oml #i can only do 1 thing at once and like so sorry to me but the job search thing is kinda taking a back seat NFNDDJFN #OH I HATE TO SAY IT. AS LIKE. A USUALLY CAREER DRIVEN PERSON BUT.................. #JDJDJDJDJDJDDDJDNDNDNDNDND I CANT EVEN SAY IT............ #but rn ya. my priorities.... im ashamed NDNNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNNDDNDND #but.... HHHHHHHHHHH its the more fun thing so !!!!!!!!! #but gah..... i also am like takin a break bc its like christmas n who the fuck is looking to hire rn lmao #the time between xmas n new years isnt real so !!!! #and also !!! i think i deserve a break after 4 months of non stop work !!!!!!!!!! #also like the faster i resolve my boy problem the easier itll be to focus #on job searching ????? #or like god i guess i could do both. my mom keeps being like.... youre both looking for jobs... why dont you ask him to do it together NDN #um.... 1. hes my competition LMAO. we literally had the same gpa down to the decimal #(tho this may no longer be the case bc we got our grades for the semester n mine went up. idk the state of his. would be fuckin funny if it #was still the same tho JDJDJFJDJ) #and 2..... LOL ID RATHER DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE WITH HIM........ #god idk where this post is going. but 1. i wished him merry christmas and he answered back with a 'merry christmas 😄' which !!!@@@ #from a reserved/grumpyish guy...... im just kind of like NDNNDNDNDNDND IDK. IDKKKKK. LIKE IM HAPPY ???? BUT IM ALSO LIKE FREAKED OUT ?????? #i dont think i'll be able to deal if he actually likes me back #and 2. i like have a draft message of like. asking him to hang out JJDJDJDNDNDM #if youve been following these posts.. maybe u remember me askin him if he wants to keep in touch with me n our mutual friend and he said #he would. so that friend is like. going away for a month and like ok lets be real. if i have to wait until feb to see him i'll um Die JDJJD #so i have a message planned. IDK WHEN IM GONNA SEND IT. BUT IT WILLLL GET SENT. I JUST.... HHHHHHH I HAVE TO GET THE NERVE.... #but .... ya idk i hope he says yes but i'll also get if he says no. may be awks just the two of us. maybe we're not ready LMAO IDK. ive bee #alone with him maybe like. 30 mins max. and like the convo keeps going but there are pauses. IDK. maybe i should stop thinking and go to be

[sharkneto]

I don’t know why but this whole time I thought you were like 15

assigned teen by tumblr 😔

#i know transmascs come across as young but 😅 #not even 17 smh #i genuinely don't know how to take this lmao #on one hand: exceptionally funny #on the other - and i mean this in the kindest possible way to any of my teen followers: god hope i'm not giving off 15yo energy #i'm in my late 20s #i'm almost 30 #i have a real job - a career even #i've talked about it on here #this is so funny tho thank you for telling me anon #i'm just going to have a minor crisis about how i present myself online over here and then i'll be good to go again in a minute #what can i tag this to save it for posterity #nice things #that should cover it #sharkneto speaks

[deityofhearts]

a lot of people irl think that I should be a secretary and idk what to do about that

#deity dialogue #this mixed with being told that I talk like a school teacher by a lot of people like… #please ;^; #idk my ‘ideal’ job in my head is working at a library or some cozy bookstore but that for sure isn’t gonna happen #also whenever I tell anyone that they tell me it’s a starving job or are like ‘you should do art instead’ but then if I consider doing art #they tell me that is also a starving job. idk how to tell them this but all jobs are starving jobs #or rather most jobs are like :/ #and honestly as far as rn goes I don’t think I could do art as a job either I’m not skilled enough and I just do not have the real will to #do art as a job there’s so many better artists out there who should be perusing art (if that’s what they want to do) #like even if I did want to go to art school that costs money i don’t have and requires skills I don’t have and after all is said and done #there is still no guarantee I could make a career out of it #augh #I hate everything

[toytulini]

mental health just straight up plummeting

#toy txt post #everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair #constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point #whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into #a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so #much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one #so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad #and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why #i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point #every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of #reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know #like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food #service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and #all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just #wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and #between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so #now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead #trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the #point #vent #ig #i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not #functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep #and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends #not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this #i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get #lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking #distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying #anyway. thats how im doing. bye

[runawaymun]

.

#new job starts today and I am NERVOUS lmao #but I just really hope it works out #trying to swap a high stress job with rare chill moments #for a chill job with high stress moments #also a job that I feel good about my work even though it’s not the best *sounding* job y’know? #and it’s not necessarily a career job for me but it IS something I have always wanted to try #but anyway it will free up an immense amount of time #and hopefully brain space too! #ugh but new job jitters are real #it’s all going to come down to management and the team #but so far they seem nice

[yuribalisms]

Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I don’t know how to handle that

#I’m going to be depressing and self depreciating in the tags so. fair warning to anyone who reads them #I’ve known for a while now that I don’t know what to do with my life. I’ve thought of a few ideas but none of them seem to be working. and I #think a good chunk of what it’s boiling down to is that I am quite literally just stupid when it comes to an actual useful real life skills. #and it’s frustrating because I can’t even talk to ppl I know and confide in them that I feel dumb and stupid without them being like ‘nooooo #don’t say that! you’re not stupid! you were top of your class in hs!’ (that is their favorite thing to fall back on) but like. the thing is #I wasn’t even smart in hs. sure I did good but that’s because I cheated my way through and got lucky a lot. I never actually learned anythin #I never understood what I was being taught or how to apply it. I was good at English and art classes and that was it those were the only one #I truly felt I knew what I was doing in and grasped the subject matter well. I know I’m good at those two things and smart when it comes to #those subjects. but the thing is. in real life. both of those are useless skills. I can’t make money with them and it is highly unlikely #that will ever change. and yes I know not being able to make money with it doesn’t mean it’s useless but like it kinda does. capitalism #sucks. I know that. we all do. but that doesn’t change that we live in a capitalist society and it’s unlikely to actual change in my lifetim #so I’m stuck to try and figure out how to live in it. but I have no skills I can make money with so I will live my entire life poor and #miserable and working dead end jobs that make me want to kill myself. I’m not good at socialization I’m so fucking bad at it so I can’t work #any kind of job that hinges on networking or sales or human interaction which is MOST JOBS but I’m also too stupid for anything related to #STEM. I tried two different stem degrees and flunked out of both of them because I am a FUCKING IDIOT and I know there’s no point in trying #to go back to school for another one. but no degree in anything I naturally have a knack for will help me find a decent well paying job. ill #just be wasting my money to go to school for something like that. and then like. I don’t even think I’ll ever get married and I def won’t #ever have kids. so I can’t even put any hopeful stock in just being happy with a family one day. I know a lot of ppl who don’t like their #careers but they’re fine with that because they’re happy with their family but like I don’t even have that and I won’t ever have that. I #have NOTHING to strive for and NOTHING I am good at that’s meaningful I’m going to fail at having a career and a family and I know that #doesn’t mean I won’t be happy in theory but by societal standards I am and always will be a fucking failure of a person and since I do live #in this society yeah. it’s kinda fucking true. and I don’t know what to do about that. I’m just tired. I’m tired of being afraid and #struggling and going through patches of wanting to kill myself because of this because like what’s the point. I’ll never have anything #better so what in the actual hell is the point of me existing. and I know I’m being ridiculous and my brain is eating itself and none of #this is probably even true but that doesn’t change that it FEELS like it is a lot of times and esp right now and I don’t know what to do #to anyone who reads this I’ll be fine tbh prob as soon as tomorrow like dw about it I just need to get it out so I stop stewing in it. #I’m just. yeah. not having a great time rn but I left work so I’m gonna cry and then maybe sleep for a bit and hope that helps #kaz rambles

[six-of-ravens]

vague list of hobbies I could/should take up:

(* = I have all the materials I just have to Do the thing)

knitting/crochet*

embroidery*

cross stitch* (that kit i bought months ago is still rotting in a drawer somewhere lol)

tambour embroidery

jewelry making* (well, would need to buy some stuff, but i have some supplies leftover form my teenage obsession with it)

bookbinding

leatherworking

painting (used to be super into drawing/painting but I burnt out after college and basically gave it up)

get Really Really into cooking/baking (as opposed to my current "I can basically follow a recipe" level)

sculpting??

miniatures???

#oh boy the list is long #i think i need a real hands-on hobby again. in the summer i had the garden but that's over now #been feeling really dissatisfied w my life and wanting to figure out a new career path but I think step 1 is Get a Hobby #bc I can't even fathom a career beyond my current one. im like 'i have no skills!!' and also like. idk what interests me enough #to make a job out of it. or what like. general skills i could do as a job. #anyway. need to do. hobby. i sould pick one of the starred ones to do while watching spn bc im always on my phone instead of pay attention #to it anyway

[silverislander]

wait my parents might've just had their first good suggestion in terms of careers. hang on. wait a second.

#im Looking at the early childhood education program at college rn. like 👀👀👀 #im not totally sold but like. good pay/i do like kids/it could be a fulfilling career for me/all of my background works so well for it #music and arts and multiple languages AND i have experience volunteering with kids + a first aid degree #and now that im actually coping with my anxiety instead of feeling awful all the time my social skills will (gradually) improve #AND the program has work terms so id only have to do one semester before i start getting a feel for the actual job #like. this might actually be an awesome idea. #levi.txt #i dont know for sure! this isnt smth i ever considered and i staunchly have never wanted to be a teacher #and id def have to talk to a real person working rn in the field and make sure its a safe idea for me as a visibly queer person #its canada so im physically safe but i need to know that theres not gonna be any expectations as to appearance beyond the obvious #plus the govt is pushing So Hard to get more of them so it makes me wonder what working conditions are like #but guys im not kidding the pay could be Good. the province is desperate for them rn so hourly wage could get up over the average #and there are a Lot of financial aids already #and again!! fulfilling work that i wouldnt hate (probably) (but i can even ensure that before i graduate!) #the more i think abt this the more i kind of like it a lot

[jemmo]

welp the end has come summer is over i return to the real world tomorrow i can no longer pretend it’s not happening.

#let’s just hope a fire gets lit under my ass this year and I get shit done #i actually make some progress so I can leave this job and actually do something I enjoy #so I’m not stuck somewhere shitty where no one is having a good job or cares at all #i guess I really am a career person bc I really cannot cope being in a workplace where no one gives a shit I need to be surrounded by #passion otherwise it just feels like I’m slowly dying #but in order to move forward I #actually need to do shit like start refreshing my science brain and reading papers and mocking up cvs and application questions #and actually find a phd I like and have the balls to talk to supervisors and properly look into it bc fuck that means moving away by myself #living alone and supporting myself shit that’s scary #plus I need to learn to drive this year that’s my most immediate goal #and in general I just need to be active with shit #might even open an etsy store as a way to crochet some bags with my riciculous stash of yarn I don’t want to #so I can get rid of it and make some money in the process ooooh fun #i hate being an adult tho it’s like there’s too many things you have to do that you never have the time to do the shit you want to do like #how is that fair how does that work why is life like that #but let’s not have a life crisis when I need to sleep I’m gonna work on my fic until I crash and then the real world hits me #goodbye summer of doing nothing I miss you already

[tirednotflirting]

x

#basically have just been trying to like? stay afloat and move vaguely in the direction of where i want to take my life since graduating at #the height of covid #and i started finding an industry i think would be Very cool to work in #AND could be like. a long term career path but i saw absolutely no way in #it felt/still feels very unattainable w the background j have #but now i’ve got someone who i like. barely work w advocating for me to learn more about things and offering to mentor and it just? feels #very fake like idk what’s even going on #i’m rlly not used to people seeing potential like that in me it’s a wild feeling #anyway i’m setting up another meeting to talk w someone about another position and i just? the imposter syndrome is very real #will i ever stop job hopping jesus christ #ok bye

[rithmeres]

in my workhating era :/

#i'll never be able to last more than a year anywhere. i just get so tired so fast #i was never going to stay at this job long term but it's only been nine and a half months #with past jobs that i hated it was a slow build but this week i was just SLAMMED with the idontwanttodothis out of nowhere #workposting #oh nanamin we're really in it now #i had an epiphany in the cereal aisle at trader joes. i've been lying to myself for years. or at least not acknowledging the truth #i always thought i was someone who just didnt want things. no dreams no ambitions indifferent about having a career or a family or a goal #that's still true. i dont really care to have those things. but i DO want things. i want to create things #no i NEED to create. it's a compulsion. im funny in the head because the art and the stories cant get out #good art is a moral imperative. #and if what i want is to create then why am i not doing everything in my power to make that happen #which is why i think i need to move back in with my parents. even if its not the ideal sitch my cost of living will drastically decrease #and i can support myself on part time work #and since i have parents who are affluent enough and kind enough to take me back into the family #it would be stupid to NOT use that resource and privilege if the pursuit of art and story is what i really really want #(and it is. i want it so badly more than anything i cant believe FOR YEARS i thought i didnt want.) #but still. the white middle class american in me is telling me im ceding defeat if i go back. #that im a failure if im not maintaining independence post-grad #well guess what. im living that dream babey im a big girl fully independent in the real world. and it SUCKS. #it's lonely out here. #im tired of my job controlling my life. i should be able to attend my sisters graduation and my friends weddings and do so without guilt. #personal

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

okay but how bad actually is it to quit a job ~2 months after starting

#<< this is a real question btw i need job advice i have no experience and my parents are no help #my dad has been with the same company for 25 years and my mom hasnt worked a career job since the 90s #tired of having heart palpitations every time i think about it #like... its not good for my health i think i am literally causing damage to my body with the stress and anxiety #i wanna quit and work at. game stop or hot topic or somethjng hshfbdbs #or even just. a pet store #that would be so much better #i would rsther work part time at all three of those places than full time where im at now #i mean like. my first day one of my coworkers was like i dont think you should have been hired i dont think you belong here #and like. ever since then has treated me like absolute garbage #so like #idk. not the warmest of welcomes and in a field that i had already been questioning whether i wanted to be a part of or not? awful #there are many disadvantages to being a marine biologist i dont want this anymore

[finishercar]

ummmmmmm i just got offered a job

#first Real Career job teaching english ii :) #i said yes even though i haven’t heard from the other two schools yet and this wasn’t my first choice #bc i haven’t signed a contract yet and i can still back out if need be but this way i for sure have something lined up for the fall

[vueh]

i put so much fucking energy and emotion into others, i have nothing left for me. where the fuck were you guys when /*I*/ needed help, and when i needed comfort? always fucking excuses with you guys.

where were you guys when i was lonely and needed that same human comfort? you were bolstering your own fucking trauma and making me hold that burden. did you ever fucking think of me, when you thought your life was worthless? when you've held a stable and lovely job for fucking years? but I can't have the same making your god damn fucking boss's coffee for the past 6 years? fuck fycj fuck fuck and you think you're wasting away? mother fucker you think YOU have it worse? fuck off you have a god damn salary and i have a bonus weekend when i spend 18 hrs of my day being at work./ must be so fucking nice you can just check out at 5pm for you, lmfao

#i love my friends but wow the fucking disconnect is real #holy shit you guys have ACTUAL FUCKING JOBS I DONT WANT TO FUCKING HEAR YOUR ISSUES hholy shit #you guys have stable and real jobs i really dont want to fucking hear about your problems #tell me i work less being a barista you muthafukas #make me feel even less not having a career goal. fuck you fuck you fcuck you fuck you guys with your god damn job security #so fucking much #sorry i just want to make coffee every day #that's not “”“”“less than”“”“ making a fucking graphic design menu the corpo wont even use for mcdonalds fuck the fuck off #and yet you “earn” 75k a year and some of that work in your year doesn't even amount to anything mother fucker #i dont want to fucking hear it anymore