#i keep waking up. let me REST

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Lights Out dream team - scribbled Silly Style. low quality, even

#theyre hanging out <3 #with the horrors AND each other <3 #its taken some deliberation but these are the first four & the ones who spend the longest time in the dark together #frank wakes first. then poppy. then howdy #the rest im still kinda Thinkin on who wakes when #im thinkinggggg eddie-julie-barnaby? or eddie-barnaby-julie... i have several Factors to consider #scribble salad #wh lights out au #but anyhow frank poppy wally howdy quartet lets gooooo #i like making characters that arent typically associated with each other Interact #like its usually frank + eddie or julie / poppy + sally / wally + barns / howdy + barns #so its fun to think about these four only having each other #their Main Besties are all still in dreamland #OH FUCK YEAH PLUS HOME LMFAO #i keep forgetting about home im sorry. lock me up boys #well its not like home can join them on their adventures (horror journeys) #and its kinda. not on good terms with wally. which means its not on good terms with the others. #but anyway at this point in the au wally is very happy to have more friends #so is frank! finally New Conversations! #im thinking that his and wallys relationship was starting to strain a little by the time poppy wakes up #so its good for them to have Other People #big friends! cozy friends! #they are Extra Big bc the illusion of their reality is shattered! they are their base selves! #no more mind reality twisty to ~keep them in frame w/ the smaller puppets~ for the show #so poppy/howdy/barnaby are all nearly 8 ft as canon prescribes #and all of the others are 3-4 ft (also as canon prescribes) #an Adjustment for sure <3

[orcgirlcock]

good GOD i need to be held

#and fucked #but mostly held #i need to feel someone's hands on my skin #i need someone to grab me and squeeze me #i need to feel someone trail their fingers along my arms and shoulders #i need to feel someone's love through the way they touch me #im so sick of falling asleep and waking up alone #i don't want to have to keep fighting #i just want to collapse in someones arms and let myself rest

[blluespirit]

I sort of like the thought that Zuko and Aang take the Sun Warriors' warning not to tell anyone about the dragons a little more seriously… and they keep it between them. Of course, they trust Sokka, Toph and Katara. Of course they know they wouldn’t tell anyone, but now three people (including Iroh) know the truth about Ran and Shaw. And that’s three too many when you’re trying to keep a secret.

(and there are other people at the temple as well - like Haru, Teo and The Duke - who, while trustworthy, aren’t as close to them as the others, and when it comes to secrets with as much consequence as this one, you can’t afford to take any chances.)

Furthermore, the culture within the Fire Nation since Sozin’s rein has been warped. The culture is not to respect the dragons as the original firebenders, it’s to conquer and kill them. It’s the ultimate proof of your strength as a firebender. All it takes is one mistake before rumour spreads, and people go looking for the ultimate hunt. It’s not something Zuko or Aang can risk.

Whether Katara, Toph and Sokka (and Suki) ever find out the truth is up to you. But post-war, after Zuko returns from a strange, poorly explained trip with a dragon, and eventually develops the ability to use rainbow fire, either the others have some questions about Aang’s knowing look, or they are finally let in on a monumental secret.

#it’s a kids show so i think for that reason it was played for laughs about keeping the dragons a secret is not necessarily a bad choice... #the show does that sometimes where it says something off hand and then leaves me lying face down contemplating ✨the consequences✨ of that #but there are some… implications there about being too loose lipped with the truth in leading up to the end of and immediately post #war fire nation. just because zuko understands the spiritual significance of a dragon it does not mean the rest of his people will. actuall #its more likely that they'd reject zuko's opinion considering that he's basically coming into power and then telling everyone that #they've been lied to their whole lives. the fire nation is drowning in propaganda. for a lot of people this opinion of dragons and #firebending's true nature being violence and destruction is all they know. fire is LIFE but to most people that's an alien concept #and in terms of keeping secrets - it’s not even a matter of trust it’s a matter of too many people knowing #you might not even realised you’ve revealed some incredible information to someone who has the means to spread it or pursue it #so… i think zuko would be hyper aware of this. since he grew up hearing stories about the 'glory' of dragon hunting #and since iroh has also made a concerted effort to keep this information hidden i think it makes sense he’d be very hesitant to let it #get out to the public #aang would agree i think esp if zuko explained the importance of hiding them even from loved ones #ALSO random but it also makes me wonder what the fire nation said about roku in wake of the war #he had a dragon but he didn’t kill it. he didn’t ’conquer’ it #sozin would have had to work his ASS off to reframe history as him being the more… loyal(?) patriotic (?) of the two #did he frame it as roku didn’t have the courage to kill a dragon??? that he lacked the strength of a true firebender? #the avatar works hard but sozin's propaganda machine works harder 🧍‍♀️ #zuko #aang #avatar the last airbender #zuko & aang #jack talks #sun warriors #book 3 #what is it with me having a whole separate post in the tags 👁️👄👁️

[thebumblecee]

In an effort to try write something anything I’ve asked various people to give me a word. I’ll add the micro flashes here as they come out

1. Thigh

If handed a pen and a piece of paper TK could map out Carlos’s thighs from memory. Every curve of firm muscle, every dip of soft flesh, the scar he got riding his bike when he was twelve, the soft hair that dusts them. All of it is burned into TK’s living memory.

When he’s not with him he can see them so clearly in his mind's eye. He can picture the way they tense when he comes and trembles when he desperately needs to. His fingers ghost over phantom scratches he’s left behind on the outside of his husband’s thighs a few nights prior.

They’ll be there, under his uniform, standing raised against golden brown skin.

The inside of his thigh starting to purple in a delicate pattern of bruises from TK’s mouth that morning.

Fuck.

He knows them better than he knows his own. He’s traced his fingers along the veins when they’ve had lazy Sundays wherein Carlos lay on his stomach and read trusting TK to amuse himself, and he’s tasted the salty sweet sweat that peppers his skin when he’s been working out and TK dragged him to bed. He’s felt the power in them when Carlos fucks up into him. How they feel squeezing against his sides, trapping him in place, in a warm safety he’s never felt before.

Work is slow. The energy in the firehouse is low and there nothing to occupy TK’s thoughts away from his husband’s thighs.

It’s criminal they’re attached to the man who’s across the other side of the city.

2. Knife

TK knows that there is probably some deep seated, psychological, issue at play in his unconscious mind right now but he’s pushing it to the side to admire his husband’s knife work.

Well, more like drool over it.

He’s seen Carlos cook a thousand times but it feels like this is the first time he’s really seen it.

He’s finely chopping peppers as he talks idly about his day in that sweet, soothing, tone of voice that comes deep from inside of his chest. The kind that calms the voices in TK’s mind and ebbs away his anxiety like cold water in a stream.

TK isn’t listening to a word. He’s transfixed on the way he has the knife gripped in his hand, it’s secure but not too firm, there’s enough movement from the handle that it works as an extension of him. The blade flashes teasingly as it slices through the vegetable with ease. They rhythmic thumpthumpthump on the chopping board is syncopating with TK’s own heartbeat.

Why is he sweating?

The muscles in Carlos’ forearm flexes with every commanding chop of the knife and TK’s mouth goes dry.

“Babe?” The word floats towards him languidly before settling in his brain. He snaps his eyes up to Carlos’ concerned ones.

The concerned expression vanishes as quickly as it came and a smug tug on his lips appears instead, “you good?”

“Bed,” TK says, he misses suave and alluring by a mile and lands on croaky, “forget dinner let’s go to bed.”

Whether or not the knife stays in the kitchen is between them.

#cee speaks #will be unbetad and all done within 10 minutes #it’s get the words on the page #fast and messy #to be continued #if you see a mistake no you don’t #I’ll edit when the rest of the words come in/I wake up #sorry for the word please 🫴🏻 messages #if you don’t mind me adding ur name next to your word let me know and I’ll tag you #you have to keep yourself safe #me? writing? inconceivable!

[stevethehairington]

book 5 of the year done!!!! im literally one book away from halfway to my goal and the first month of the year isn't even over yet fjsksk i am DEFINITELY going to hit it this year!

#SUUUUPER bummed to say tho that ive made it to the first book of the year i havent enjoyed :/ #the worst part is — its the first in a series apparently and like. i WANT to know what happens next #but also i dont CARE enough to want to keep reading the rest of the series yknow? #like. this first book was just SOOOO disjointed #it was ALL exposition #it spent 500 pages giving individual backstories for each of the characters. as in each character l i t e r a l l y told their story #which first of all absolutely BORING way to get to know your characters and second of all NONE od these characters were even likeable!!! #and the worldbuilding was just. weird. it kind of didnt make sense and felt all over the place #and FULLY felt like he was just throwing random sci-fi-y words around to make it sound cooler but like. it wasnt. #and like all these characters are together on this pilgrimage right #but it is NEVER really revealed why/what they plan to do when they get to their end destination/anything like that #and im between each of these character backstories it feels like the same stuff one person is like oh wow what a story lets get some sleep #and then they do and they wake up and they do the tiniest bit of traveling #(which is like. described in the most lackluster barebones way) and then they eat and share another story and rinse and repeat #it was SO boring #it honestly reminded me of the movie the eternals LMAO #all these characters and you get to know a little about them but not enoguh to become invested and none of them are all that interesting #and the purpose of their journey/the purpose of THEM is completely unknown is completely devoid #like it felt like there was no plot #it was. ough not good. #so yeah would NOT recommend hyperion by dan simmons :/ #mack reads

[nerdie-faerie]

Feeling a lil vindictive, a lil nasty this morning

So context, my brother had a work do last night and before he left he told my mum he'd becoming back here and doing so alone. So tell me why he called me at 3am when I'm trying to sleep but travel anxiety and says he's bringing two mates back? I tell him he can't I'm leaving at 6 tomorrow he just goes yeah they'll just be passing through your room. No I've gotta get up in 3 hours you can't be keeping up, yeah it's fine. The fuck it is not

Anyway so my alarm goes off 3 hours later I've barely slept, my brain already woke me up several times prior but that doesn't mean I'm turning my alarms off immediately or getting ready quietly after the prick disturbed my sleep

#Demon Spawn #travel tag #the rest of my siblings got a nice goodbye but im not a morning person on a good night sleep let alone when i havent been able to sleep #like i wouldnt have gotten much sleep regardless because of anxiety but i woulda been able to fall asleep sooner if i hadnt been dragged out #of bed kept awake by the rage induced adrenaline and the sounds of sports being played on tv and chatter in the next room #and hes gonna spend all day in bed anyway so i dont feel guilty particularly when hes had guests over constantly for the two weeks ive been #home which denies me access to the ensuite and kitchenette thats accessible from his room and he constantly keeps me awake #i dont get to enjoy my comfy non student accommodation bed because the fcker never lets me go to sleep and my mum wont let me sleep in #i did fix my sleep schedule minutely was getting tired at 12 instead of 2am from where i fcked it during assignment season so small mercies #had to wake my littlest brothers up to say goodbye and the babby started crying 😢 my mum wanted me to wake her and the baby up too #but the baba was still half asleep and definitely not processing that i was leaving 😂 she was so unbothered guarantee ill have to facetime #my dad dropped me to the bus stop and hes as bad at small talk and emotionally constipated as me but he was just coming back from a night #shift so i appreciate that that was him putting in extra effort and him checking i had enough money is as close to sentiment as he can do #everyone else? cute goodbye. my sister was already awake when i got up to the house pretty sure she had an alarm set..... #my oldest younger brother? i hope the hangover sucks

[bravevolunteer]

thinking about michael between pizza sim and security breach having a conversation with old man consequences…

#i never really thought anything about where his soul went during that time like i didn’t think he’d be any sort of conscious #but having this moment in what is essentially the fnaf version of purgatory before waking up in the pizzaplex. feels right #it wouldn’t last long the passage of time would be different for sure but… hm #would he be Told that his mission isn’t done yet… that he can’t move on as long as the effects of william’s crimes are being felt no matter #how much he’s atoned…. or would he be urged TO give up to let it go to leave the demon to his demons and he just continually Refuses because #he’s imposed this on himself he cannot LET HIMSELF rest easy knowing this is still happening #cassidy and michael parallel except cassidy is the one trapping william in hell and william’s presence left behind is what’s trapping #michael in life it’s the essentially keeping Each Other stuck of it all #i think it’s more likely/fits better with the themes here if michael insists upon it… does he remember?? who knows! i don’t think so! #michael and refusing relief for himself is such a constant it makes me upset #need to stop i could keep pulling out more to say forever but this is already barely coherent #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

[the-rat-eatery]

Do I care that I am currently in an echo chamber of how fun Hazbin is? NO!

I AM A SAD TEENAGE GIRL MY MIND WAS CREATED TO PING PONG AROUND ECHO CHAMBERS

#AAAAAAAAA #hazbin hotel #FULL OF RAGE AND FURY #I am so tired and I have a test tomorrow and I have to wake up at five to go to the gym because we’re trying to be healthy Yall #the thought that the next episodes are coming on Thursday might be the only thing keeping me going #I am pining after my long distance best friend and I’ve moved away from all my friends and family and I think that everyone will forget #about me all the time #LET ME HAVE THIS #also like the boarders between Russia and like the rest of the world could be closed at pretty much any time #and then I would potentially not see my family for years #or my parents at least my sister could probably get through #but def not my closest friends #which is great #and I won’t see said best friend that I’m pining over till the end of march if everything goes right #and I’m in love with her though she’s painfully straight #and I haven’t been hugged in like a month #wow this is a tangent in the tags #sorry for being depressing #hazbin hotel trailer #I want someone to like this for the validation

[squishosaur]

hm. i think i will ignore the last 8 episodes of arc v

#why does the writing. keep getting worse?? #like i've actually been so invested in this but this is making me so angry??? #why would i sit through a 5 episode long duel to end all duels just for. what even #if it were me. #i would have let them defeat zarc. uncorrupt yuya. have him live witj zarc and all the other yu boys SENTIENT personalities in his head #(treats them like a system. the others can front sometimes even) #AND WHILE THE 4 DIMENSIONS WERE STILL MERGING have the declan/yuya dueltaining duel of the century in order to show all 4 worlds rhat duels #are still for fun. and during the duel the other consciousnesses in yuya also get to take part and have fun #UNTIL FINALLY!! zarc remembers the duelist he was before. and he smiles. together he and the yu boys all deal the final blow to declan. #who just smiles acceptingly. the crowds from all 4 dimensions cheer about how fun the duel was. zarc chills out. yuya grounds himself from #the applause to look for zuzu and finds her holding riley who had passed out. they wake up and ask yuya if it's over. he says yes & they hug #we get a brief scene with all of the side characters from different dimensions as they reunite with family and friends. xyz is last tho #shay looks around at the people who have reunited with their families and starts to tear up because his is lost Forever. #saya kite and allen are all like 'that's not true.. we're here' shay's sobbing but he's like 'i'm not...' kite and allen laugh. saya smiles #suddenly the rest of the lancers come through and reach out to shay going 'hey now! our job's not done. we have a new mission' #and they begin traveling across dimensions together to help the rebuilding effort and to boost people's morale through dueltaining #the final scene is shay looking at zuzu (who is also lulu & celina & rin) and she smiles and hugs him so tightly bc they're still siblings #yuto and yuya smile super happily from afar until sora calls put 'hey!! slowpoke! are you coming or not??' yuya dashes off into a portal #with everyone else and yells 'wait for me!!' he nearly falls on his face and everyone laughs. zuzu reaches out her hand and he takes it #they all go into the portal and THE END #sorry that got long and rambly... DISREGARD #just know i hate the ending so much so far that i had to turn it off #sorry i used tye dub names it saves a couple letters in my 140 character tag limit.... #chatter #lys watches arc v

[noxtivagus]

ahh i'm so tired sorry i haven't been really active lately but i promise i'll fix all these stuff up n be well for the new year soon

#🌙.vents #i'll just ramble for a but ig. i can't.. let myself go to anyone at all for stuff like this but it hurts more when i keep it all to myself #oh wait good morning i guess i got around 9 hours of sleep huh #lovely going to sleep n waking up w tears in my eyes yeah absolutely Great #the future i want is. unrealistic i suppose #god i hate being pessimistic i prefer holding unto hope n i truly know better than all these burdens but #it hurts. all this pressure n then it just feels so lonely. i don't know if i belong in this world #every now n then when i just think of.. stuff my heart feels like it's being sharply stabbed with cold n then suffocated a bit #n then i'm crying even more as the whole emotion overwhelms me everywhere #but i suppose it's better this way. i'll hide this part of myself from the rest of the world n heal on my own #perhaps it's stupid of me to think i could do that on my own but i'm just so tired i might as well do it on my own now #it feels like everything is falling apart. wishes dreams hopes. every word forgotten #n.. i know it's not entirely this way but fuck it feels like it's all my fault for messing everything up #my mind is in a dilemma n it's like i'm just constantly fighting w myself inside #it's so draining #but i have a reality to face so i'll just. i'm sorry i'll bury it #i'm sorry to the words i used to write to myself then. i don't want to let them go but i suppose they were too 'naive' for this world #i don't have anymore energy to reach out. ffs i just want to be better n do better but i'm so tired #i don't want to forsake my younger self but.. i'm sorry maybe i'll just live out all this in my head instead. as i used to do #i have a lot to do dw i'll get up n face them #it hurts. i don't want to hurt myself but i can't be productive like this n #the other better way is. not for someone like me yk i don'r have much friends i'm too shy but all of them have closer friends n #apollo deserves more my family deserves more than me i'm sorry i just want to be myself but maybe that's not needed at all in this world #i'm not enough so i might as well go along this path. i know it won't make stuff better but. it fucking hurts i'm sorry #that sounds so sinister without the rest of the context dw i'm not gna do anything too extreme but. i have to be well enough to live in this #world. yeah. #i'm. oh my god this hurts bcs i know better i really do but these thoughts just persist n it hurts so much. it hurts so much #i don't want to lose myself to these negative thoughts bcs i rlly know better but god it hurts it hurts #i'm afraid bcs if i.. hide properly or wtvr i know i can be good enough to. idk pretend cleanly that i'm fine n destroy all the progress #i've built. but i don't want to lose myself. i know better but i'm stuck in my head n it hurts so much i'm sorry

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sometimes u have to wake up at 3am. write a bleak story abt nohara rin and then not sleep the rest of the night #sometimes that just how it is #i want her to be a person. but also keep the story as it is. with rin unfairly sidelined. a footnote in her own life #because that idea breaks my heart. i had to write out the foundations before i can draw her #maybe i can post it today. maybe my brain wont let me do anything until i post it. well see #my appartemt is so god damn cold. i dont have any control over the temperature #unrelated #also i think i still have cactus lil spines in my legs. i guess well find out when thry get infected

[kaustic]

.

#fuck. #i keep hoping that any moment i'll wake up and this was all a horrible dream #my mind won't let me rest it hurts so fucking much #fuck cancer fuck cancer fuck cancer fuck cancer #tw death #tw cancer

[tardis--dreams]

The devil judge is a very serious show and I definitely don't have to pause several times per episode because i have to laugh about yo-han and ga-on's relationship

#I'm watching episode 4 and while i thought it was funny the first time i watched it #The second time is even better #I'm still not over the fact ga-on essentially moved in with yo-han after 2 episodes #I keep thinking about it and i end up laughing every time #Favorite bits: yo-han opening ga-on's shirt while he's still sleeping to 'tend to his wounds' #Instead of waking him #Normal behavior #Ga-on not wanting to change clothes in front of yo-han and yo-han leaving the room but before that he just stares at ga-on's naked upper #body #'the wound healed nicely' #sure sure #'this is my house how much longer are you gonna stay?' 'let me rest a few more days. Sometimes i get dizzy' #peak comedy #I didn't sleep at all last night so maybe my sense of humor has been affected #Also wonderfully funny scene was Elijah asking yo-han if he was dating oh jin-joo #And his reaction to it #I could watch that scene several times a day #That was when i started loving his character when i watched it the first time #It was my rain scene lol #(like in beyond evil i decided lee dong-sik owns my soul when he held that umbrella over the lost guy while smiling at him #And in tdj this brief interaction with Elijah was the equivalent #) #Sorry #Sorry again #I just want to talk about my silly little shows and my silly little children (character's i adopted) #shut up amy #the devil judge

[one-way-dream]

oughg sorry

#was able to cry a little for the first time in weeks and it worked for a bit but now im. feeling kinda wack again #wish my depression could let me do things to get feelings out but i had to be cursed w executive dysfunction #biting and killing and maiming #i dont want to be whiny about it but aughfhffnghd #when barely anything sparks joy it is hard everything feels hard #i am tired of waking up like this but i don't really. have a right to complain #everything just makes me retreat further into myself i am tired #i don't really know why but i am #i dont think i was able to get the past year out of my system properly and #i keep having dreams about my sister and i and i keep waking up disturbed or anxious or sick or angry or annoyed #weird ass state of burnout and every day i wake up and go through the exact same cycle of just #trying to keep myself calm until i inevitably shut down from something minor in the afternoon and the intrusive s/h thoughts drive me insane #then the rest of my day is ruined so like a solid 12 hours until i can. be stable-ish again #i cannot even do things to get my mind off of it other than brain numbing shit like lets plays on yt #[shrek voice] they cant even afford therapy #something wrong with me and i cannot rly figure out what or if im being overly sensitive n dramatic about everything #nothing is even Happening irl and things are completely normal and fine for the first time in months snd yet? #jesus christ . WHY. #o|-< oughg #tee.xt #vent / #personal / #sory for farty rocking ill probably delete later if i remember

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

Woke up way too early have not been able to rest and that is the fault of no one but me. Why is it, I lay down, I am tired, barely awake, and suddenly my eyes can't close? Feet keep tapping. Like I cannot go to sleep for the life of me.

#i need rest but my body has actively been keeping me active #refusing to let me rest #even at night i wake up at least twice to check the time #regardless if i need to be up early or not #it's an actual problem I'm interrupting my sleep and not getting much rest #even my naps are blinks #come on body let me rest a bit

[cheryap]

ive gotten well damnginto this song

#if its meant to happen it'll #happy anyway #im just two days into college and im three lectures behind. theres this guy lets name him colin he says he wants to be mine. but it doesnt #really sit with me quite right cause he doesnt really like the things i likeand i keep accidentally locking myself outta my dorm in the #middle of the night. i wake up kinda wired and i wake up kinda cold and i wake up kinda tired but i'll just sleep in when im old. see i don #like breaking rules but dont like doing as im told so i just float around and hope my life unfolds. everybodys tellin me that im doing so #well i try to believe them honestly i kinda find it hard to tell. if i need work or i need rest to try my best to try my best to tell mysel #i say out loud “its fine i'll figure it all out” #i tend to forget. im only still quite young. in a way this life of mine has only just begun ive got time. ive got time. im two days into #college with a busy; busy mind. that guy that we named colin he's so handsome hes so kind. my friends tell me im crazy that i'll take it wa #too far. cause i told him that its over because he doesnt play guitar. im only two days into college and my bedroom is a mess #theres just so much that i want to do that i have not done yet. theres just so much want i say but far too little breath #on my mind it runs so far away its easy to forget. that to everybody else it looks like im doing so well. i try to see it honestly i find i #hard to tell. if ive done wrong or ive done right. i need a goodnight's sleep tonight. they say “go out” i said “alright” #i think i wont i maybe might i probably should just take it slow. i'll be good but god i know. the one thing that's important above #everything else: is to learn not to put all this heavy pressure on myself. i try to believe it when i say i'll be fine. ive got time. ive g #two days into college #yes i typed all that hehe #cheryap #Spotify