#i know i said i'd accept it

[starrysupercell]

this may be a weird-ish thing to ask but I was looking for some cool official art of Colette and stuff on here and found a post of yours with official-looking art, but it wasn’t the full image. do you have/can you find the full image of this? this is an entirely voluntary request you do not have to answer this ask!

Not weird to me :> This is that picture in its entirety!

And, I feel like I should make this a Coke master post while I'm at it! Because once I made an incomplete compilation for Fang and someone liked the fact that all the neat Fang pictures were in one spot.

So here you go! Colette may not be the focus in all of these, but she's in every one! I'm not completely sure if it's all of them though.

💝 Bonus:

A lil loop with her buying stuff!

#Colette #Brawl Stars #Master Post #BS #this was fun! #I think I'd like to do this again. ;0 I'll accept requests for other characters but I cannot guarantee getting them out too fast. #Also sorry but no Carl. ;0 You'll have to find someone else for that. #I know you didn't ask for the compilation directly but like I said I've been considering doing so anyway. #So I hope you don't mind being the ask i used to do so! #If more Colette pics crop up I'll probably just reblog this and go from there. I didn't include screenshots where she's in animations. #but I don't think that's necessary anyway. just go to youtube <3 #this is also like. a tribute to my Bestie. the Colette Kinnie themself. <3 Hii Bestie hi! Surprise! Lol. Hope I got 'em all :3 #Also this girl is fruity and this is all the proof there is lol

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I was rewatching The Stone Forest and I really like to think that Hilda had to pass by the Bell Keeper’s outpost on her way out of the city limits. I like to think that idiot looked at what was happening, shrugged, and said ‘eh, she’s the scariest thing out there’

#“‘the scariest thing out there’?”the girl sends him a look that isn't quite a glare for once; it still conveys her opinion just as clearly #Edmund shrugs. Hilda is still within sight of his binoculars. he watches her run and can’t be sure whether she’s running *towards* or *from #*.He doesn’t think she knows either. #'I mean. it’s not like trolls can harm her at this time of the day. #Don’t tell me you believe in fairies kid.' #And there it is at last: the glare. Meiri looks up from her art project - her new therapist had reccomended it as a way to express herself #and since he'd been helping so much so far she'd decided to grudgingly give it a shot - #“*No*” she states pointedly; to anyone who knew her it was an affirmation. And Edmund knew her better than she cared for #'What I believe in is wolves and recluse spiders and ticks and nettle. And I believe that someone with the spine #to sabotage the Patrol wouldn't have the self control to not lick a pretty mushroom' #“Hey!” Edmund protested putting down his binoculars. “I sabotaged the Patrol! For *you* I might add!” #Meiri's smile turned mean; it was a regular expression for her yet it never conveyed any malice. Just the thrill of a game that never tired #her. “And would you?” she lifted one thick eyebrow; signaling to her dad that it was his move now #The dad in question was unfortunately thinking back to a time in his young teenage years when he figured he could eat anything animals bit #and gave himself a poisoning that had him taken to the ER. But she didn't need to know that. *ever* in fact. #“Obviously I would. Like I'd let a mushroom ruin my perfect sandwich diet” #Meiri groaned loudly. Some games were worth playing. But some wars she'd already accepted she'd never win #“Anyway” he turned back to staring at the outside of the wall as if it was of any interest to him (it wasn't) #“kid'll be fine is my point. And even if she isn't ya know what's the best think about this situation?” #They looked at each other with matching smirks. “none of our flipping business” he said at the same time as she echoed #“None of our fucking business” #He gasped immediatelly. “*Meiri!*” #The chastening was useless. She just shrugged innocently. #He'd really have to limit her library visits #the bell keeper hilda #meirdom #hilda the series #hilda netflix

[thasorns]

But from what I’ve seen, he already tries and works so hard. - Cause he has you who always spoils him, that’s why he’s like this. — Parents about Waan

Working is not fun. If you have the chance to live your life, then do it. Work is not going anywhere. You should let it go sometimes. — Waan to Win

I’m not gonna stop you, if you wanna help. But I just don’t want you to give up on your dreams. Don’t want anybody to force you to do this and that. — Win to Wiew

Dad! In case you didn’t know, Waan was gone all night because he was dealing with the issues at the resort. I promised Hia Win that when I grew up, we’ll help each other to run the resort. But now, I wish it could go bankrupt. I’m also curious, if you don’t have that stupid hotel would you gonna be the old dad we used to have? — Wiew to his father

#between us #between us the series #oreo puwanai #zeystuff #gif: bu #listen so many texts and no one likes to read that much I get it... also this one will get probably what one like or so #but I feel for him soo much... he probably didn't want to study business in the first place he only did it to make his dad proud #yet no matter what he tries all the efforts he put into it to make his dad a tiniest bit happy doesn't work... it goes all in vain #being the first born already puts him under so much pressure and he probably never got to live as a child #(I didn't read the novel but being the first born also normally requires to be a parent to your siblings kinda) #his only escape from this hell where he can be at ease is to play. is the gaming world and even that he can't really enjoy bc of his dad #'childish'... like pls he tries so hard to make his father accept him no matter what. he works his ass off and that's not enough #we know he doesn't wanna work in this industry as he said to Win (quote in the caption 'work is not fun') yet to please his parents he do it #'since you were born...' - feeling quesadilla but the 'que' and 'illa' are silent #I'd appreciate if the caption stays on bc it's important (at least for me) for this set

[ante--meridiem]

Well. Potentially inadvisable message I sent a few days ago not really expecting a reply to did, in fact, get a reply.

#personal #for those with enough knowledge of blog lore to know what I'm talking about here: #I caved and messaged First Ex/Former Closest Friend again #out of a mixture of the fact that I keep circling back to that friendship breakup on an approximately monthly basis that I knew #I'd never be able to really let it go unless I at least tried once #and the confidence from my knowledge of him that if our positions were reversed *he* would have tried #in any case. He's not sure if we'll succeed in being friends again but he *is* willing to talk #on the condition (which I offered in my initial message) of me not telling any of the people we mutually know #that he ended up having issues with #that we are speaking with #& there is (unsurprisingly since there was clearly a lot missing from the stories I'd gotten) more to said issues than I'd heard about #which it sounds like he's going to elaborate on when we talk #I think the biggest difficulty for me in re-establishing contact like this is going to be accepting that he and my mother #outright despise each other now #which. l mean - I'd never claim she's perfect #she can be very blunt in a way that comes off as just *mean* and hurtful and I've been hurt by that too #but she's also been a much better parent to me than most people's parents seem to be to them #it's possible maybe even likely that if some of our arguments when I was younger had ended in us cutting ties rather than #eventually talking it through that I would see her the same way Former Closest Friend does #but they didn't and she's been at certain points amazingly supportive since #so it's likely I'm going to have a hard time reconciling the version of her he's going to present to me with that #even though I'm totally open to believing that he's justified in how he feels about whatever happened #& I'm not going to be able to process it out loud irl bc that would violate the 'not telling people involved about this' clause #so there may be a lot of venty personal tumblr posts coming soon to a blog near you

[campingwiththecharmings]

I would miss you if you disappeared 😭 You're one of the few people I feel safe talking to. I know I almost never message first (anybody), but that's cause of the same feelings I have like you, that others don't actually like me, just tolerate me, and I don't wanna annoy them with my presence. This mental state ruined quite a lot of friendships I had, but then again, I wouldn't distance myself if I didn't feel like I am overlooked / ignored in the friend group.

Anyways, back to yooouuu. I think you're very kind and funny and I love seeing you on my dash / on discord. When I'm writing fics I often think about you, wondering what your reaction would be to a specific scene / dialogue. Especially when I'm writing banters 😁 I also love your stories ✨ I am very behind on reading, but when I have some free time, I usually focus on writing in the last couple of months instead of reading, but I wanna catch up 😩

But you know Driver!Jake and RichGirl!Reader hold a special place in my heart 🥰

omggggggggg dolli 😭😭😭😭😭😭

the absolute LAST thing you are is a bother, bb. you are one of the kindest, loveliest people i've met here and i am so grateful to know you, i'm so sorry if i don't say it enough ❤️❤️❤️

#i wish i could hug you irl #pls accept this gif as a placeholder❤️ #and fr i'm gonna make an effort on my end to initiate convos more #i am so bad at that mostly for the reasons you said #honestly kinda blushing to know you think of me while writing sometimes ngl lol #makes me feel way more important than i am lol 😆 #and omg pls don't worry about reading my stuff i'm hella behind too #anyway #in case i didn't make it clear enough lol i'd miss you if you disappeared too. way more than i could ever express in words. #ily and i'm sorry if this is weird i just have a lot of feelings adlksdl;fk lmao #sending you all the hugs and blowing you kisses #byeeeeeeeeeeeee #dolli tag

[databent]

why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on

#.pdf #rd #kd #just a warning these tags are long. like. really incredibly long. i had thoughts. #sorry for the vague ass post i'm just upset about some stupid shit my dad said yesterday. #namely: outright telling me that he doesn't believe i have non-24 (circadian rhythm disorder). #and that even if i do he doesn't believe it's possible for it to actually be a lifelong and disabling condition. #*also: this post isn't meant to imply that disabilities that did have some inciting incident are more accepted or anything. #it's just that i'm frustrated with the “you're disabled? why? what happened?” sentiment a lot of people seem to have. #nothing happened to cause my disability. i'm just like this. no i can't change it. what the fuck do you want me to tell you? #i'd guess it probably has to do with society's focus on work and productivity and career-mindedness above all else. #and when someone comes along that doesn't fit in with the way things are structured it just doesn't compute. #because the idea of people who can't dedicate their entire lives to working is so fundamentally contradictory to their view of... i don't- #-know. meaning in life? fulfillment? that they feel a need to reject the possibility altogether. #this is mainly when dealing with invisible disabilities from what i've seen. because i think there's a tendency to view visibly disabled- #-people as belonging to a different category altogether. which of course is its own issue but i'm not visibly disabled so i don't feel- #-like it's necessarily my place to speak on that. #anyway. i just want my struggles to be acknowledged as real. because they are. and i need people to understand that I Have A Disability. #albeit one many people don't even believe could be real because there's a sort of belief that circadian rhythms are purely a product of- #-external forces like sunlight so “you can't possibly have yours be different and have you tried just going outside more?” sigh. #sorry i also just remembered my dad telling me he doesn't believe i can have something so rare because the chances of having it are too low. #which is some ridiculous logic to me. rare doesn't mean it's impossible. some amount of people have to wind up with it regardless. #i just lucked out i guess. #n24 tag

[izzy-b-hands]

today should be a t break day

bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts

but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain

so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either

#text post #no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning #but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry #and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even' #she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year #and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down #and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings #which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit #doesn't fix it but at least i know. #the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me #but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's. #i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything???? #why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time #there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is #I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise #it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like #whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj

[the-casbah-way]

i just think it's so unfair that when i left high school my entire support system was gone overnight and i was just expected to get on with it with no help and because i wasn't diagnosed back then no one believed me or accommodated for me or cared, so i had to postpone my degree for two years and watch all my friends graduate without me and move to different cities and i went from being a straight a student who never had to study in their life to barely scraping the minimum grades and never showing up to class because i had convinced myself i was too stupid and slow to ever get my degree because i wasn't getting any of the support i kept asking for and was expected to read and listen to lectures without any help and keep up with everyone else when none of my support needs were being met. and now after trying for five years to find a way to get the degree i always wanted my uni have told me they're not going to let me do it anymore because of one module requirement that i missed because i was in hospital against my own choice. and even after i said i would use the entirety of my savings which i specifically worked for so that i could have a safety net for my studies to pay for the extra year required to get the module they need they've still said no. even though there's a bunch of spare places on the course and it wouldn't impact my timetable at all. even though i got As in every assignment i did for that course compared the the Bs and Cs i used to get in every other subject. even when i told them that i can't keep doing a science based humanities subject because i have dyscalculia and it's literally impossible for me to get through a single sentence of reading on my own, compared to the module i want to do where my lecturer literally bought me extra course textbooks with his own money because i finished everything else on the reading list in my own time and he said he was impressed with the work i sent him. i told them that me and my brother are the first in my family to go to uni, and how neither of my parents finished school or have any qualifications, and i never though in a million years i would ever get to have a degree and i've had everything stacked against me because their uni is 99% rich able bodied neurotypicals and i'm so close to graduating even though i had no support at all for the first four years. and they still don't care. they can't even give me a reason as to why they won't let me get the degree i want. they just keep saying 'we're not in a position to let you do the extra module' over and over again and i don't even understand what they mean. i'm going to pay for it myself. they have spare spaces on the course. i don't understand what else i can do to make them listen. they talk so much about diversity and accessibility yet every other poor and disabled person i talk to (and there's barely fucking any at this uni because they don't want us to be there) has been through similar experiences and had opportunities taken away from them because they were too unwell to attend one single fucking class. i don't know what to do but i've been here way too long and tried way too hard to drop out now. but i also can't bear to not to the degree i've always dreamed of. i don't want to do anything else

#this is what triggered my whole episode last week or whenever it was i tried to off myself #i've been ignoring it since then so that i can become sane again but #it's been stuck in my brain the whole time and i don't know what to do about it #i can't accept it and move on because i don't understand why it's happening and i don't think it's fair #but idk what to do and i don't want to kick up a fuss or act like i'm being like victimised or some shit #it's just. i only missed that module because i was literally on a drip and almost had to get a blood transfusion #it wasn't like i couldn't be arsed to show up. i was really sick and it was also when i found out my dad had cancer again idk #even if i'd had it in me to show up to classes i wouldn't have taken anything in or passed my assignments #and i told them that and they said it was fine #if they'd told me it would mean i wouldn't get my degree i would've done something about it #idk what i could've done but i would've done something

[worstloki]

Thor: (straight up lying) Loki has a strong history of untrustworthiness and lying... betrayal... when we were 8 he turned into a snake and stabbed me... People: (believe him)(are mean to Loki because of it) Thor: hey now, hold on just a second--

#too late! #loki's new and improved villain arc is upon them #if people won't accept he can be good he'll just stay a villain #thanks Thor :| #Loki <- was there when Thor was lying and didn't think people would actually take Thor's words at face value #Thor <- kinda embarrassed about this whole thing bc Loki's 'villainy' is mundane harmless stuff but he's got a bad rep now and can't return #they're roommates btw they share the same living space and this makes it even funnier #Loki: well maybe i'd be able to attend game night if you didn't tell everyone im a cheat and a villain!!! #Thor: I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WOULD BELIEVE ME BROTHER!!! #Loki: yes you've said that. i still can't attend though because of it. #Thor: [pouts]

[craycraybluejay]

throwback to when I was in elementary- I think 4th grade- and at Halloween, I was in my standard princess getup and there was this really pretty fellow dressed as the phantom of the opera- my favorite musical. I went to say hi and shake his hand, and he brought it close and kissed the back of my hand with a wink.

It was then I realised the power of a loli/shota/kodo. I remember trying to flirt with more adults after that, but I'll always remember that first guy, even though I'm an adult now

I would've killed to have experienced that 😭 who r uu tell me more stories

although i think if that happened to me i would have been crazy over it n probably went overboard,, i was a surprisingly not a very forward kid bc i knew i was like a dog w a bone when it came to anything i wanted. flirting turned to "dating" and feeling each other up right quick, anger turned to bridge burning and actual burning and destruction,, etc. If someone made the dire mistake of imbuing me with any sort of want it would be their problem 😭😂. give me a slice and i will make it my sole mission to have the whole cake. I've learned well to control the impulses involved but I still have the ambition to eat the world.

(also i feel like people do that stuff for the sole purpose of flattering the subject. in a lot of cultures its pretty regular that if someones dressed like a princess you act like shes a princess,, i should've dressed like royalty more.) (but ofc people on the recieving end sometimes like u or i get excited about it lolz)

#anon response #bro imagine if i was as open as a kid as i am now i wouldve been a total nightmare #'YOUNG MAN GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY COWORKER THIS INSTANT' #'STOP TRYING TO KILL YOUR CLASSMATE' #🥰 people were mean to me anyway i should've had more fun if i was gonna be punished even for doing nothin wrong #oh well still had a way crazier childhood than anyone i know by far #delete later #if people start being weird ab this #honestly tho i'd prefer y'all shoot me a dm if you have something that may come off controversial #for me to respond to #that way i can be a little less 'is this PR friendly' and worry less ab annoying assholes claiming i said things i didnt say #ive had people send me things i genuinely cannot publicly respond to #and while i am intrigued and really hella appreciative that they choose to share and WANT TO respond #i cannot and yall should be aware that it takes a lot of work to balance being 'authentic' and staying mostly unharassed on this site #but i do love hearing everyones stories and feelings and unique stuff so please dont be afraid to talk :3 #just know i cannot always respond to some asks for my own peace but will always accept dms #and know that i do read them anyway so if u just want me to see it and not respond thats ok too #i just feel super bad when i have juicy asks in my inbox i cant post

[hystericfae]

I wonder if my coworker is gonna give up Saturdays or not

#chloe shush #I kinda hope she is I'd love more hours tbh #she's not accepting benefits yet though and she lives kinda far so the split shift is a lot #she originally said I could come in the afternoons around 4:30-6:30 but I'd kinda rather just work the whole day #if I'm coming in at all cause like 2 hours is nothing 💀 #shed technically need to be full time to have benefits but if she plans to stay on her parents for now....then like 😩😩 #like bby let me know I don't mind picking up extra shifts anyway to make more money #cause sarah was a bulldozer she SO rarely took a day off #like girl I wanna come IN please I need more hours

[guinevereslancelot]

i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔

#i was telling her abt the preschool i got hired at and i was like yeah im worried bc the other teacher doesn't seem nice #and the student teacher ratio is really bad they're really understaffed and underfunded im just really worried it will be too much for me #and she was like oh you should apply to the school i work at bc we're hiring snd the ratio is great and the pay might be better also #and i never knew the name of the school she worked at until then #and its one i DID apply to but i told them nevermind after this one hired me 😬 #but now i really wish i'd taken that interview #i'm going to call or email first thing on monday tho and hopefullyyy i can get in for an interview before i start my new job on thursday #so i wont literally have to take time off for it #and then if they offer me i will be able to tell the new job nevermind while its still early #either that or i'll try to stick it out a few months then apply to the other one for summer or something #but im not sure whether its best to quit immediately or let them think im dependable and staying then leave in three months lol #but mostly for the other job idk if it would ruin the opportunity to tell them nevermind i want the job a week after i said no #compared to a few months later #they might have forgotten me by then which would probably be good #idkkk #my first reference literally works there which will hopefully help and maybe they'll give me a break #the pay scale looks the same as the one i just accepted but i think they'll offer less bc they're not as desperate #but i literally dont care its such a better working environment #and the pay scale is the same so they would give me a raise after a few months #and the work will be so much easier #and the commute #and i Definitely know i can work with my friend #vs the co teacher at this new job who seems really intense and unfriendly #anyway!! #im really anxious abt this new job and i'll stay if the other place wont take me now #but i really hope they give me another chance #also its super close and easy drive and the commute for the other one scares me a bit lol #this has been a shitpost

[cicerosfavouritelistener]

morthal, solitude and markarth for the skyrim ask game >:)

Morthal - Do you enjoy exploring dungeons and ruins? Why or why not? I doooo! I LOVE dungeons and Ruins! They're fun! I do get lost in them which bothers me but I love goin around Blackreach with Cicero, it's so so so pretty.

Solitude - Who's your favorite Jarl? Who's your least favorite? Why these? Hmmm! I'll be honest I think they're all pieces of shit and hate them all lmao, Ig I'll go with Elisif because her castle is where you can do the Sheogorath quest.

Markarth - If you could rewrite one questline in Skyrim, which would it be? The Dark Brotherhood. Make it so that you have more options such as being able to find that Astrid is sellin the Sanctuary out to the Penitus Oculatus; maybe by rifling through Her belongings or Maro's. I wish there was a way to be able to convince the others to also join Cicero, or that there was a way for the Listener to be able to like go Against Cicero without the killin him section as well for people who refuse to realise the Old Ways are better like Astrid. Perhaps there could have been a way to allow Astrid to realise the error of her ways and repent to the Night Mother and Sithis!

I also wish there was a way to rebuild the Dark Brotherhood properly aside from the Two Random Initiates who don't even have names. Like I wish you could recruit more people, fix up the Falkreath Sanctuary, set up More Sanctuaries (Like how Oblivion's got apparently over 200 sanctuaries in all of Cyrodiil), Have Speakers, Silencers. Also perhaps a way to reinstate Cicero as an Assassin assassin rather than a Keeper who's allowed to kill just because the Listener says so. And maybe Listener can marry the Keeper.

#Old-Skulls #Listener's Commands #I *Really* love the Dark Brotherhood questline #It and the Sheogorath quest are the two I play in EVERY run of Skyrim #That all said about my rewrites of the Dark Brotherhood quest I would still kill Astrid #and Probably Arnbjorn #Those two in my eyes are irredeemable #But because I know some people would wanna have them hence the option #Tho I feel like Arnbjorn's redemption would be tied to Astrids #Fuckin Lapdog #I would gladly become a Listener Keeper so that Cicero can go out and kill as many people as he wishes #Plus I feel like he would feel so much better seein the Dark Brotherhood thriving once again #I suppose I'd Have it be something like a mix of the mods Your Choices Matter - A Dark Brotherhood Expansion #And Become High King Of Skyrim #I wanna marry Cicero so bad #maybe also let the Listener marry like Nazir/Veezara/Gabriella/whoever survives/has been accepted but I'm less into that I jus wanna marry #Cicero let us be the Power Couple

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you. #I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible. #I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me. #I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth. #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely. #I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't... #I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away... #to this day... #I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that. #I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed. #“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again. #By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant. #I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did. #The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement. #Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF. #You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do. #I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs. #The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one. #I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time. #I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore. #And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry... #I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too... #vent

[astolfofo]

yo wtf is going on in bsd season 3 im so confused

#my friends really weren't lying when they said it's gonna be a mess after s2 #i have NO IDEA what is going on #actually I was already confused after they showed dazai's past in the beginning of s2 #but like #the real question is how we went from atushi's self-acceptance to whatever a full on war with 2 other ability organizations to whatever #is happening now #Like did i miss a season? #Did i accidentally skip like an entire movie that had plot inside of it? #we'll never know #Bruh i kinda regret not watching this earlier bc I'd have an idea of what's going on now #but my idiotic ass was like haha leme wait until s4 and NOW WE'RE GETTING S5 #send help #bsd #itsu's rants

[silkjade]

it’s 3am so please enjoy my favorite painting in the world while i reflect introspectively in the tags thank u ♡

day and the dawnstar by herbert james draper

#— 𝓭𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼 #/// #this is meant to be like elevator music for the dash while you scroll past #…………….. #i love selfshipping it's vry fun but sometimes when i think about it too much or rather when i think about any scenario at all #i'm always like i want so and so to do this and this and this but when asked what i'd do for them it's like hitting a blank ) : #and i can’t help but feel as if i’m being…. selfish…. #selfish in the sense that i can so easily accept the love i crave but i don’t know if i'd be able to give the same back? #and this bleeds into my real life becus i suppose i just don't know how to make someone feel loved like... #i’m not even half as affectionate irl as i may seem online & i don’t have a cute or particularly loving personality. #the words i say aren't warm ; ironically they make me sound disingenuous lmao no matter how much i practice my cadence #& idk why it’s so difficult for me to imagine myself doing like.. domestic things for anyone without cringing at the alien nature of it #not becus there's something wrong with that but i just can't see ME doing anything like that and i just think 'what is wrong with me' becus #it's one of the simplest and purest forms of love i think ; \ idk maybe i've just never loved anyone enough like that... #but then i feel so..bad...because the real me is so apathetic boring cold #& not to make things sound transactional but why would someone want to stay if what they invest produces lackluster results ? #like omg ! even i can tell that it's totally unfair i'd feel like a leech #even in the painting above draper the painter says: 'to faint in the light of the sun she loves / to faint in his light and to die' #iz so me yearning 'n then dying from yearning becus i don't know how to express it #like when mitski said '胸がはち切れそうで' 'my chest is about to burst' i felt that #anyways i suppose this was good to get out before chinese new year lolz #i hope u did not make it this far honestly anyways i m going to rb a bunch of random stuff to hide this