#i know im not really a game dev

[kelocitta]

Tangentially related to some of the discussion i posted earlier but quiet literally the first RW Art Month i participated I did it completely on whim like, one day before it started. And I mostly did it because I hadn't drawn a ton of rain world and wanted to draw more. Fandom presence was a lot smaller than and I was one of a handful of artists who did the entire thing. Fast forward and I still do Art Month and I've gotten to work with VC directly. But it was quite literally something I decided to do completely on whim that set the ball rolling, and for something a lil more niche and certainly with a lot more dev/fandom art involvement than most. It's really random how and why you might get noticed more than usual, especially with the "toss it into the search and hope it pays out' mechanism of Socmed

#t.extpost #and im hardly the fanciest art month artist out there so it wasnt even about being a jaw droppingly talented artist or whatever #and while artmonth for rw is still given a huge focus its also a much much bigger thing now with a much bigger number of participants #which is cool! its awesome how many people i saw do most if not all of last art month! and VC is really good about not just repping the #most popular artists or fanciest pieces #but theres So Much More there now and while its great for finding artists its also impossible to get Everyone in there you know? #Although they absolutely try #And this is like. one of the most fanartist involved devs ive ever seen in terms of both celebrating the art their fans make and actively #bringing those fans in to contribute #and its /still/ hard to get going just because thats how Posting is #i used to be more of a hk artist which is both a huge fandom and riddled with stunning artists but theres So Many #and niche fandoms are niche so youre more likely to connect with people but less likely to see a ton of engagement regularly - #probably best example i have for that was being briefly fixated on patapon. #Its just messy to try and find the hack that sets you up #just have fun and jump around and make what you like #get a sense of feeling for your style and some people will stick around for that vs. strictly the subject matter #others will look up the thing you switched too and some wont engage #you cant really control it #so have fun and draw that thing you randomly thought about at 2 am that doesnt match your blog #draw for that forgotten rpg you liked when you were 15 or draw for the 70 player max steam game you played for this week #you never really know what will happen #but its not really worth worrying about what will happen either

[wraithsoutlaws]

you know i had a fun little vp idea i wanted to do for the cyberpunk anniversary but i haven't had the energy to even touch it recently so i'll just settle with saying that this game impacted me in ways i never thought it would when i first picked it up 3 years ago. i knew i would enjoy it, i had been looking forward to it for a long time, and despite a ~controversial~ launch, i had a fucking blast from day 1 (on ps4 no less). regardless of bugs and memes and public dunking, the story grabbed me like nothing else could at the time, and it reignited so much of my passion and motivation for art that i had lost in the clutches of mental illness and i'll always be grateful for that. it introduced me to so many wonderful people (some whom i carry very close to my heart), and maybe most personally surprising, it gave me an outlet to understand parts of myself that i had been too afraid to acknowledge for a long time, the courage to accept and embrace myself as non-binary, and allow myself to just BE without trying to convince myself i'm crazy. that's not what i expected from the get-go but it's been a really fun journey to be on ngl

#yeah this fandom been a little rocky in places but i would be lying if i said this community here wasn't special to me #so much love and passion and creativity to be around and be inspired by #so many people who have been impacted by this silly little heartwrenching game #devs who have poured their heart into it to deliver something genuinely incredible #its one of those strange things that really did fully change the trajectory of this little leg of my life #to think that until 3 years ago i hadn't even touched art in a decade #now there are lovely people who want to spend money on my work #3 years ago i bought my first (and only) refurbished ps4 to play this game and now im sitting on a fancy gaming laptop #ive said it before but vp has been such an important creative outlet too #its allowed me to live my dreams of being a film director. a cinematographer. a writer. #the whole game has let me be so damn self-indulgent sometimes i feel like a kid again just unashamedly playing barbie #finding the JOY of just. creating. #i learned so much about myself through an OC because of this game #it went from 'huh what is this feeling? gender envy?' to being like full blown 'oh yea. i get it now.' so much of my life makes sense kfslf #and i met people who mean the world to me on top of it all #woof anyways #i know i say it a lot but genuinely thank u to yall who have encouraged me and supported me and who enjoy the things that i make #youve made such a difference in my life without knowing it!

[todayisafridaynight]

So Allegedly Infinite Wealth is 100 hours... not that you can't already spend that long on the games if you really want to, but I'd say it's the first time that could be said to be the base experience rather than a time only hardcore completionists are likely to get.

Yokoyama was talking at length about wanting to make the game worth the price tag since the team is incredibly conscious about the value of the players' time and money. They essentially feel they owe players ten times what they paid, so they're aiming for "an enjoyable 100 hours, but also an unforgettable 100 hours."

If they pull it off, I personally think it'd be 100% worth it and not just a "well other studios are doing it so we can get away with it too" price hike... I'm at least happy to know that's not the intent, and I'm intrigued to see how everything pans out and what the ratio is between story and side content

oh yayaya i saw that article this morning!!! 100 hours is actually so unfathomable to me in terms of an rgg game- i mean y7 was At Minimum around 45~50 hours but when i think of other RPGS that easily dip into 70's and 100's of hours, i'm not too surprised to see LAD start to climb towards those numbers now. it'd be such a jump in rgg's terms tho, so i'm TRULY curious to see where the nearly doubled gameplay hours comes from..

i really appreciate yoko's respect not just to RGGS but also to its customers: they want to make a great product, but they also don't want to sacrifice what they want to do to do that in the process

#snap chats #very timely article since .. i think it was passport i dont exactly remember who it was that was concerned about the game quality #maybe it was kana... idk one of you lot LMAO POINT IS thank you for reading our minds yoko #i wouldnt mind 100+ hours of island content LMAO but fr im truly curious to see what the main plot's gon be bout then #i mean we KNOW the main plot but yk what i mean... how the hell does this pan out.. #REGARDLESS. i never had any issue with the LAD8 price #maybe its just cause i dont buy videogames too much <- liar (theyre old so like .2% cheaper its ok i think) #in rgg's case i always know im gonna get something i'll love for months- even years at this point #either way its nice knowing that yoko's at least aware of people who aren't happy with the price #and even besides that still just want to make a worthy game #aint nothin wrong with knowin your worth.. i think. #talking about videogame prices in general honestly im p sure the avg price for a game should be in the 100's by now #going off inflation anyway #so the fact devs are still trying to keep it under the $100 is. Something to me anyway #the quality of games- in terms of graphics anyway- has really gone up. idk if that warrants a FAT slap of an expense in the end #but it's not hard for me to understand the crawl towards it right #but now im ramblngi LMAOOOOOO anyways #haruka did nothing wrong yoko said it himself <3

[skeletalheartattack]

how do you feel about the new tf2 leaks?

Oh it big sucks!

listen, this leak honestly makes me so mad im not even joking. not because of like, leaks like this cause so much trouble for the developers who own them (in how to combat it), or for the source licencees who are affected by the leak, but WHO it affects in this community.

say you've been working a beta recreation of 2Fort from Trailer 2 (since it's the version with the most footage), you've been working on it in your spare time for the past... 6 years lets say. you know the ins and outs of this map, you've watched footage and studied screenshots from around August 2006, and you've made an intense list of all the eras of 2Fort to ensure you have a timeline of eras so you know which to avoid and such.

so your beta 2Fort recreation is as accurate it can be from all the public media you could find from it. you've even gotten the sewers to be as low as they were in the beta combined with the higher water. there's some things left to your interpretation of the map, since the sewers have never been shown for example, and you push it out for people to play around on. this was basically your hobby for the past 6 years, and it meant so much to you to be able to create something with a love you can't put to words.

suddenly. the worst thing imaginable. a month after you post it? an entire developer repo leaks. and lets pretend it's got that version of 2Fort intact. that's a serious gut punch BUT, then you get comments from folks like "oh the actual 2fort leaked" "this is obsolete now" "oh well a recreation couldn't ever top a leak". it's demoralizing. it breaks their spirit for something they worked so hard on. the one thing you loved working on? well seemingly it doesn't matter now to the community you painstakingly made it for.

that's what hurts for me, is the people who've created content based off of things from TF2 (like the Spellcasters Witch), whom have made it from scratch, added their own personal touches like different outfits and hairstyles, to the ability to allow the user to recolour every part of that outfit. then a leak comes along and it seems everyone's ferally knashing their teeth at this leak. no leak can ever come close to the kind of love community members put into stuff.

that's why i hate this leak. and even with the 60 gigabytes of stuff that's leaked? people are still like "oh well this doesn't have everything 🙄". like sorry 60GB wasn't enough for you?

i hope we never see a TF2 leak again. this shit sucks and i hate the community around it.

#ask #catsmocha #i dont care whats in it. i dont care what maps are found. it fucking sucks #id have to imagine that any valve dev who had a slight want in working on TF2 again have quickly changed their mind from this #what do i know. im just some guy #but the whole ''cut content community'' for tf2 sucks #theyve been sitting on their hands waiting for the repo to leak. and theyre not even satisfied #now they want the SFM repo! which i bet doesnt exist. or wont exist now that this's happened #good job you idiots! #youll never see a TF2 leak after this point ill tell you that much. and good!!!! fuck 'em!!! #none of them deserve this stuff #sorry im just really mad at how people treat scrapped content for this game #theres so much stuff PUBLICLY AVAILABLE TO YOU that you can research through and find new stuff #but no 🙄💅 gotta get my hands on that repo!!! cant waste my time looking elsewhere #it makes me so mad #legit my heart goes out to the content creators who made models and maps before this leak #you put so much work into your craft. im sorry its being ignored for this shit #thank you for the ask honestly. i feel like if i didnt have an ask like this i wouldve explo💥💥💥💥💥

[worldsquietestjojosfan]

wait so ok hypothetically i decided to model unclean realm in three.js no good reason

what do i need? rocky terrain. rocky mountain, military gates. Siheyuan style house somewhere, and then?

thats for like a low accuracy first draft. thats what it looks like right?

im kinda confused

are those outpost towers? they kinda look like it but kinda not. what is that?

im really not understanding whats going on over here. what is this layout?

there seems to be a good amount of foliage

is it really that much? i remember more rocks there. but also thats untamed concept art.

that and i dont remember shit

so my plan right now is to use models from online. either buy or free ones. and then as i start refining the area, ill start learning how to make my own for the specifics

and the aim is to go for as much realistic lighting/shading i can manage. i should aim for cartoon but i really dont know the fundamentals of light and color enough to stylize. making shaders or whatever shouldnt be too bad

#i wont run away from artistic endeavors i wont run away from artistic endeavors i wont run away from artistic endeavors #i was making a sv game but i quit because i finished the coding part but i had to animate. i ran away like a BITCH #to my defense animation is REALLY hard #im thinking. game modding right? #so i have all the g*nshin impact character models on my computer #hmmmmmmmm. unity blew up my last computer. like dead ass blew it up. also didnt they have a scandal #some thing something fuck indie game devs something #i dont know blender #ok so. three.js first. starting baby steps never hurt anyone. #especially when you dont know a single technology youre working with #i want to do it. for now. i hope i stay inspired #some words #edit: i opened blender. can i give up #Someone save me please #i want someone to hold my hand #i want to make it and i want to try something new. but i have to tttuuuqgiawua #crying aside im looking at mdzs maps people have made #is qinghe really near shanxi province? #ill have to look around a bit #im hoping i can rip out a model from a satelite image for like google earth or something #im gonna do it no matter what. at least ill make a shitty version #i can totally try. i got this

[gerudospiriit]

[Hey Nintendo. since you seem to have forgotten your own games and their history:

Man killed a whole sage 17 years ago. Sonia was not his fist on-screen kill. Man was intimidating since day one, even in OoT when his kills and his violence were IMPLIED.]

#[ ☀ ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵇᵉʸᵒⁿᵈ ;; ᵒᵒᶜ ] #don't mind me #i got re-bothered by that interview answer lmao #like i said it was already apparent they wanted to move on and pretend that the rest of the series basically didn't exist #so they could do whatever they wanted with botw and totk #HOWEVER this was just egregious we don't remember our own games and that's really something #like i feel like as a writer of a series that HAS BEEN fairly interconnected to some degree #you should probably know the story and big plot points of the rest of the series #at least #and this was DEFINITELY a striking scene that people remember from twilight princess #it was how we were literally introduced to ganondork in this game #the devs be trippin is what im sayin

[elsyrel]

Agshagshssgasf I got Kuras in the Touchstarved quiz <3!!!

#Touchstarved #Kuras #I love the devs for making this #I love quizes and this one was specially fun! #I would have been fine with any result cause I literally love ALL of them and I'll play all the routes #But I had a feeling I would get Kuras xD #Or maybe Leander #I'd like to see the descriptions of the other LIs #Kuras one is really cute and tells quite a lot about him #Also Im so curious about which answer leads to each character omggggggg I want to know #touchstarved game #Touchstarvedgame

[grollow]

Here's some Ashe deep lore. CW sexism, misogyny, some trauma, depression and over-all a stressful time. Read at your own convenience.

I used to work in the gaming industry for an indie company. Watching some of you react to no Silksong news brings back some horrors.

To preface: The company that I worked for was a very small independent gaming company based out of the Netherlands -- so it was a remote position. We made a few different titles, none of which were wildly successful, in large because of major design flaws (examples include: story not mattering, too much emphasis on PVP in poorly balanced titles [and making the game COMPLETELY DEPENDENT on pvp in some cases] and most egregiously, no real direction beyond 'it should be fun.')

I was hired as a Community Manager initially. My responsibilities for this job largely involved managing the forums, doing news updates, sending out (Not writing) press releases, hanging out in the chats of our games / playing the games sometimes with players, and coming up with fun events. My colleague/boss was senior community manager, and she ran a very successful gaming blog (more successful than most of our games initially -- until she closed it). Both of us were/are heavily involved in games. I am more of an RPG and horror title enthusiast and she was a big fan of RPGs as well as FPS games. We both have a pretty wide repertoire of experience combined. She was a world's top 50 raider in World of Warcraft at the time of this all going down.

I should preface: I am AFAB. I, unfortunately for me, have a very feminine voice. At the time of this all happening, I was also still using she/her pronouns. So was my colleague.

During our experience as Community Managers, we were forced to do marketing despite neither of us knowing how to do that (examples include understanding metrics, learning how Google algorithms worked, composing and distributing Press Releases as well as finding the sites to send those TO).

Here's some examples of the awful things that she and I endured under this company:

80+ hour work weeks, where we were required to detail out with time sheets daily everything we did and what the reasons were. I think I clocked in 16 hour days most days and I was required to work weekends.

On Christmas, our boss called and screamed at my colleague because she and I dared to want the day off to spend with our families (we were not allowed any holidays).

My colleague was forced to work -from the hospital- while her mom underwent life-saving surgery, under threat of being fired.

"You look like a crayon eating [r slur]" is an actual phrase that was used to describe her because of a picture she was using of herself.

We both got told, numerous times, that "girls can't make strategy games."

We were blamed for them releasing an RTS/Tower Defense title the same day as Left4Dead despite my colleague telling them numerous times that that was a mistake.

I later got promoted to Project Manager, but I was still making over $1000 a month less than my male colleague who I hired. In order to get me a raise, he had to take a pay cut. I put in more hours than he did, by his own admission, and worked twice as hard. He was questioned far less on whether or not his work was "efficient."

There are more stories but in truth, I have blocked a lot of it out of my mind. She and I both ran screaming from the gaming industry and have nothing to do with it now in our professions for a reason.

The worst part of all of this is that this is not at all uncommon. This is unfortunately very typical of the industry -- there are good companies, but you hear about these horrors lot less often than they actually occur.

Why do I share this? Because when I see you all screaming about wanting Silksong news, I want you to remember what indie developers go through. And maybe have a little empathy. Good things take time.

(No, I am not saying this is happening at a little 3man studio. I am just telling you, as someone who has worked in the gaming industry, that you should try to be a little more understanding of how hard it can be for some of us.)

#cw: trauma #cw: misogyny #cw: sexism #cw: ? workplace abuse? #ashe rambles #don't read this if you're sensitive this is probably one of my biggest horror stories #im really only sharing it because some of the posts ive seen today have made me really displeased #im fine btw this was several years ago i have healed #but i want to share a firsthand account for people who dont know what goes on during the 'game dev crunch' sometimes #fun fact my steam account still has developer tools attached to it #despite the games i worked on being dead #so i get the steam sale emails long before you all do #probably the only cool thing left over from this

[devotedlystrangewizard]

anyway if, by the time i have figured out how to code a game, we still dont have it (and i expect we wont) i WILL make an rpg with aro "love" interests. ur protagonist can be an aroallo whore now. whats love if not the thing that some people feel sometimes. some of your allies are only down to have sex with you and will reject you outright if you try to romance them. no monogamy limits outside of maybe specific actual romances. these aros would be absolutely destroyed by the potential fandom but its ok i didnt make them for you <2

#ramblings #it wont be a big rpg i mean. solo dev moment #unless i magically get some decent classmates in school willing to back me up #OR i dare to put myself out there. on the internet. and ask for help. #but for now it is a solo thing #i like games with love interests weve all seen how i talk about my 3 da boyfriends. and gale #but man i wish we had something where sex didnt eventually lead to a romantic confession #like as an aroallo person i just think maybe it would be nice. #& like. specifically aro. you can be specifically aro. some companions would be specifically aroallo #not 'im in it for the sex but you can romance me if you do your best' no i want SEX. and SEX ALONE! #as i was writing this post i remembered how aro characters are treated (will never forget 'but shes still ace in my fic') #and yes. these characters despite being explicitly aromantic. would still get romantic fics #and yes. i would hate that happening. #but also as i said. i didnt make them for you. your toys are right there. look. fwb to lovers is overdone. go play baldur #this post WAS triggered by me thinking about baldursg despite me really liking that game #i love that game but it sucks i cant just. idk. experience my specific brand of homosexuality #listen marrying el to gale was delightful but my actual self insert character was so SO alone #and withers going 'thou hast no bosom companion why' actually made me a little mad. sorry #like no ones gonna cater to aroallos except for aroallos. i know this. but it still kinda sucked

[toytulini]

dont get mad at me this is a subjective opinion but like. like i enjoy stardew a lot and this is by no means a criticism, more of like. just a Wish.

I want a game very similar to stardew valley in terms of play and "difficulty" but animated/artstyle like, botw.

#toy txt post #if anyone gets on my ass about this i will turn reblogs off so fast im just wishing and this isnt even hating on the artstyle of stardew #more. wishing i could further customize the house and grow crops in botw or totk #you can do more house customization in totk but its still not enough also my house in totk is like. maxmimum number of buildings #which i cant remember? but its that many of just fish ponds stacked on top of each other in a spiral and then every blood moon i get that #many free easy sanke carp #anyway the point is i really loke both games and i dont hate the artstyle of stardew. but its not like my favorite? #also sorry for making this post more disclaimers than opinion at this point i just really want to get it across that i Like Stardew Valley #and i likw the artstyle and this is not like a call to action on the dev or a demand or anything it is me daydreaming about a game that #doesnt exist. also if i had the controls i have in botw maybe i wouldnt be getting mugged in the mines so much #also im a fake gamer so i dont know all the right terms but i know there are like Other Games that have like the exploration vibe and #probably the ability to customize a house and give gifts to ppl and shit however all the ones im thinking of......... #to be clear here when i say art like botw i dont just mean like oh expensive 3d rendering and all that shit. like a little but like #CRUCIALLY. NOT AIMING FOR REALISM. it (DAYDREAM GAME MADE UP) needs to be stylized bc #listen i was being nice w the sv i dont hate the stardew valley style. im not going to be nice here: i fucking despise games trying to look #like real life and real life ppl every single one ive ever seen is uncanny valley to me EVEN DESPITE the many advancements they have made. #i recognize theyve made a lot of advancements. and i recognize this is also a subjective opinion i hold. but i just think all the ones ive #ever seen are so fucking ugly stop trying to capture the realism just lean into some stylization please im begging youuu #the worst part is there are games whos premise i would probably find interesting? but theyre so fucking ugly im not spending over $40 on #that shit ESPECIALLY if it has the audacity to be first person pov #i can maybe be tricked into it in this regard if its heavily ocean centric. i can be bribed with ocean

[pikkish]

I think that mighty doom should be canon, in that it exists in the modern doom universe the same way the action figures do. some arc member decided to make a funny little mobile game in their spare time and now it's publicly available. hayden absolutely hates it. doomguy thinks the gameplay is crap, but recognizes it was made in the middle of an apocalypse and loves it regardless. partially because hayden hates it so much.

#pikspeak #im a very serious person taking this very seriously i swear #hayden sees the seraphim in it and is furious #eventually he realizes theres no actual connection between the seraphim and hayden #the game is just using the figure from the legends about dg's backstory without really knowing anything about him #but hayden still hates the portrayal #doomguy thinks its hilarious that hayden is so annoyed #but mostly he likes it because look vega its another mini doom slayer!! #vega thinks its funny that doomguy likes it so much. he gets involved with the devs to make the game Better. #(step 1 is removing the egregious amout of microtransactions. cmon guys we dont need those.) #anyway i think this should be canon because its funny.

[nikkisticki]

You know, with the amount I've thought about Alex Yiik and that fucking game I could probably draw him pretty well...

I'm going to resist the urge to find out before I get led down a terrible path and end up making Essentia x Vella smut

#Although its surprisingly difficult to imagine the characters feeling anything for each other #besides that they all lust for Alex #Hey did you know they are updating the game and adding another vaguely ethnic woman #No seriously #There's feet pics being sold in their store #I am dead serious #yiik: a postmodern rpg #yiik #alex yiik #IM YIIKING OUT #yiiking out #yiik iv #Seriously devs if you read this you have good ideas but you change your minds so much that the entire thing collapses #You need to have concrete plans set before you begin #You need to at least know where it will begin and end #and i can bet that Proto-Alex has been the final boss for a lot longer then the change made before release #But that doesn't really count when the real final boss of YIIK is a lever you're making these artsy choices at a cost #The cost is good and satisfying game design #Just make YIIK 2 and remake the game #No seriously i honestly believe if you start from the ground up you could make a very popular game #But Yiik IV isnt that and will not solve anything #I know what you are thinking because you want to crank the bizarre to 11 as its the thing everyone praises #And thats not a bad idea but the game plays like absolute garbage and the UI is terrible #Copying Persona won't win anyone over that entire demographic is completely against the things you are making #Thats a largely young demographic that isnt likely to take your game seriously as its main cultural impact is how much suffering it causes #YIIKING OUT isnt a good thing its a cry of pain and thats all people really think when they hear YIIK #You can do it

[skeletalheartattack]

i did an insane deep dive into why the last tf2 comic never launched and im pretty sure its for a fairly mundane reason - the artist and the writers ended up all getting too busy with other projects. this is at least what theyve said publicly. the artist has a blog on here she doesnt really post much on anymore but i cant recall the url at the moment. sadly the fact that the creatives all got too sucked in2 other projs is the most Valve reason ive heard for the the tf2 comic staying unfinished

yeah no that lines up, similar to how TF2s core dev team split off into working on stuff like Dota 2 after MVM shipped or so. it honestly makes me really sad to realize that even devs have burnout on such a scale within a company like valve. i definitely get why it happens, TF2 is their oldest actively supported multiplayer game, it's hard to keep motivated when this game's been running hard since 2007.

#ask #anon #(also i mean actively supported as in valve still push content updates to it) #legitimately it makes me so sad. ive grown up with TF2 for a lot of my life and it makes me sad to know we probably wont see certain things #and all the leaks from the dev repo as of late cant make anyones motivation over there any better i feel #it really sucks honestly #i dream a lot about tf2 stuff. from content updates to maps and weapons #or i mean like sleep dreams #''would you be excited for a TF3?'' i dont think you can recreate what TF2 had and make something better #like. i dont feel like you could ever encapsulate the magic of what TF2 is. in its artstyle. its humor. its gameplay. #hell theres not much you can improve upon with TF2. so making a sequel is like making overwatch 2 #but i do think its nice that community support for the game is still strong. like maps and custom tf2 mods and sfuff like that. #so im gonna leave my tags on that positive note #thank you for the research anon. i think i set my hopes a little too high in expecting it couldnt release because of a content patch #maybe someday that burnout will fade and well see issue 7 some day

[dirt-str1der]

Wrt the previous post i still get so mad about how stupid some people are about that like okay thank you for letting me know you failed basic reading comprehension

#Listen to my problems #yeah sorry this post is going to be about the incest horror game again #like yes of course the game will attract incest loving audiences this is not the games fault. its extremely well written imo #like yeah the game has the incest ending. you mean the ending where external forces literally discourage you from making it happen ? #‘are you sure this is the route you want to go down?’ like you have to purposefully choose to make it happen for it to happen #thats not the story the game is trying to push you towards thats the ending you get because you went out of your way to get it #‘ashley thinks its funny that they had sex in a prophetic dream’ do her previous actions mean nothing to you ? like did you forget that #ashley literally says things that she knows will make her brother really upset specifically because she wants to see him upset #the incest ending is what you get when you let ashley win and she is like ... not exactly the hero #she doesnt even want to sleep with him like she is not even attracted to him. this isnt a ‘my sibling is hot and i want them’ thing. this is #a ‘im terrified of my brother leaving me and i will do anything to make him stay’ thing. its not a happily ever after it was a last resort #im going to look real stupid if the dev turns out to be pro incest

[monimolimnion]

That was probably my last fanfic for a while. Just so everyone knows. rambling in the tags for the curious.

#grems know bc ive been moaning about it but writing takes a lot out of me especially because im unmedicated #im out of ideas for narumitsu and writing for franmaya to dramatically less audience is fucking depressing #it's not that i dont appreciate the interaction i DO get it's just that i want to write franmaya and it seems like nobody cares about it #i dont care if that makes me vain or overly dependent on flattery or a bad writer. maybe that's true. #i have come a long long way on not needing outside validation but that doesnt change the fact that writing for a void is depressing #any fics i write are already written for my friends at this point and published for my own sense of self satisfaction #but all my ideas left are franmaya + very long and very involved and i just dont have it in me anymore #if you like my writing then please follow my game dev account #it's @sadghoststudios everywhere #i want to write something that fulfils me and is worth my time and maybe fanfiction isnt that anymore #and im working on some game stuff that is gonna be really awesome. it deserves to be my primary project for once #hashtag promo if you like AA you'll like what im working on :))))) sigh #i have a great catalog of fics im really proud of. and i dont regret a second i spent writing them #but i think i'm done. for now at least #sorry. thanks for everything

[jestlingnest]

vent in tags. sorry.

#i need to get a therapist so i can say this all to them instead of whining to myself in the tags #but i dont have one. so. #im not a suicidal person but seeing how uncaring or hateful or indifferent everyone is #to doing the bare minimum of not playing that hogwarts game #it makes me want to kms. it feels like no one cares at all #and i know that isnt true but you know how the brain works. it only remembers and thinks about the bad stuff #or at least thats what my brain does #i cant even talk about this to my mom because she loves hp #maybe once i tell her about the shofar she'll change her mind #but. yeah!!! the fact that so many people are jumping to defend this stupid game #and make excuses just to play it #or play it because it has those anti semetic things in it #it really hurts #screw jkr screw the devs who put the anti semetic plotline in i hope they fucking die #you CANNOT deny they added more tropes to make it more anti semetic #the fucking shofar. are you KIDDING me! #and people are still planning to play it #i want to throw up #tw suicide #jic #delete later