#i know im the one writing it but im still sitting here like coop baby shut the fuck up PLEASE
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i had a bad breakdown an hour ago and now i feel very shitty and question my existence, so im trying to cope with that somehow. do you think you could write a coops fic where one of them just had a bad day and the other one just kinda hugs him and does things to make him feel better?
i love your fics so much and you dont have to if you don't want to !!
So sorry to hear about your breakdown, lovely! Bad days are really tough to deal with, but I promise you’ll feel better soon <3 Remember to drink some water/ eat and take a shower, if you can. Big hugs coming your way! Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove
This also includes Coops learning about each others’ habits after moving in together
There was a gentle knock on the door. “Baby? Can I come in?”
Sirius quickly swiped at his itchy eyes. “Yeah, sure.”
Remus appeared around the door with a sympathetic smile and a mug in each hand. “Hey, love.”
“Hey.” He winced at the croak in his voice and cleared his throat. “What’s that?”
“Hot cocoa. Got a little extra room in there?” In lieu of a response, Sirius pulled his knees closer to his chest; Remus handed him one of the cups before folding himself into the empty space at the foot of the bathtub.
Sirius took a sip of his cocoa and sighed as it warmed his bones. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Remus pressed his lips together—Sirius was starting to recognize that as his I’ve been waiting to say this face—and blew on some of the steam. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“Just—” Sirius waved a hand around vaguely. “Just a shitty day. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed and all that.”
“Are you mad at me?” Remus asked, a little quieter that time.
A small piece of Sirius’ heart broke, and he felt his lower lip twitch and waver for a moment. “Oh, god, no. No, sweetheart, not at all.”
“Okay.” Remus took another drink, looking around the bathroom. “You kind of went straight in here and I wasn’t sure if that was a normal thing or not.”
Sirius swallowed as his face flushed. “It’s—I don’t know. I like to sit in here when I’m upset. Feels safe, I guess.”
“That’s fair. I’m more of a ‘facedown on my bed in the dark’ type of guy, but whatever floats your boat.” Remus hid a wry smile behind his mug and Sirius snorted; those beautiful amber eyes lit up at the sound and he felt the heavy stone in his chest ease a bit.
“I was thinking about my parents,” he confessed after a brief pause. “And Reg. Nothing big, but it piled on top of everything else today. Sorry for scaring you.”
Remus half-shrugged. “I was just a bit worried. Are you feeling any better?”
Sirius thought for a moment, chewing on the inside of his lip. The detached, yet overwhelmed feeling had subsided; he was exhausted and ready for a nap. Maybe a sandwich. “I could really use a hug.”
Without hesitating, Remus put his mug to the side and opened his arms, letting Sirius curl up against his ribs with one cheek against the cool tile of the shower wall. He hummed softly, running a hand through Sirius’ hair—the gentle vibrations soothed the floaty bits still adrift in his mind and he closed his eyes.
“Don’t stop doing that,” he mumbled when Remus curled a few locks of hair around his fingers. He was rewarded with a soft laugh and a kiss to the forehead; after a few deep breaths and a slight adjustment so he didn’t squish Remus’ leg against the bathtub rim, Sirius settled down for a light doze. The real world could wait for a while longer.
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Muted Worries (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}
Title: Muted Worries
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1900
Warnings: Post-Partum Depression, discussion of post-pregnancy body changes, and lots and lots of ANGST.
Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in 1997 about two weeks after Sofía‘s birth. I literally wish I could see this chapter as a scene, because the emotions hurt while writing this.
Summary: Reader grapples with her emotions and worries.
@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @beccaplaying @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @awesomefandomsunited @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @ah-callie @swhiskeys @exrebelshocktrooper @u-wakatoshii @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @cinewhore @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato @coredrive @pascalesque @theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans @buckstaposition @holkaskrosnou @yespolkadotkitty@seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie @jaime1110 @katlikeme
Josie was obsessed with her sister. If Chucho was holding Sofía, Josie was perched on the chair beside him; if Javier was carrying her around, Josie was right underfoot; and if you were feeding her, Josie was there asking you to hold the bottle.
You wished you could harness her enthusiasm and feel something. But you couldn’t. You brushed it off as lingering exhaustion, a sort of fatigue that ran straight to the core of your being.
Everything hurt. Worse than it had with Josie. Or at least, worse than you remembered. Sofía was smaller than her sister and yet it felt like you’d given birth to a water buffalo, instead of a baby.
No one ever talked about how miserable women felt after childbirth — and it wasn’t like you could even complain about it to Connie. You already felt guilty enough for feeling miserable. Like you were a bad mother for being disinterested in everything.
Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. You’d tried to avoid prescriptions your entire life — for obvious reasons — but this was one you couldn’t avoid.
The fact that you couldn’t feed your daughter was probably another part of it. And pumping a dozen times a day, only to send it down the drain was a depressing venture. No one talked about how much this shit fucked a woman up. No one.
“Hey—“ Javier started as he walked into the bedroom.
“Knock much?” You snapped.
Javier froze and you watched as the warmth faded from his expression, “Shit. I’ll come back.” He muttered as he moved to retreat from the room.
“Just stay.” You said with a beleaguered sigh as you shut off the machine, unscrewing the full bottle and sitting it aside on the nightstand. “Sorry.”
“I can go.” Javier offered, not quite meeting your eyes as he looked across the room at you.
“You’re already here, just stay.”
You readjusted the pump on your other breast, attaching the second bottle before turning the machine back on. The quiet whirring filled the uncomfortable silence that had settled between you.
Javier lingered by the door, like he was planning for a quick escape. You couldn’t even blame him. None of this was worth the hassle.
“Pops thought it might be nice if we got out of the house and went to the beach this evening.” He suggested, rubbing his lips together as he glanced at you.
“I’ll see if I’m up to it.” You winced when the suction of the pump pinched your skin. “Shit.”
“Do you need—“
“I’ve got it.” You waved him off as you shut the pump off and pulled it off your breast, causing a little milk to spill. “Actually, can you grab me the towel?” You pointed to the hand towel sitting on the foot of the bed.
Javier closed the distance between the two of you, snatching the towel off the bed and passing it to you. “How are you feeling?”
You rolled your eyes, “Like shit.” You wiped off your breast, sitting the towel aside as you gestured to the full bottle. “Can you throw it away? I don’t want to see it.”
“Of course,” He said softly, leaning down to kiss the top of your head, before taking the bottle into the bathroom to get rid of it.
It was fucking defeating.
“Are the stitches still bothering you?” Javier questioned as he stepped back into the bedroom with the empty bottle.
You shrugged, hooking the machine back up to finish pumping your left breast. “They’re itchy.”
Javier hesitantly perched on the edge of the bed, reaching out to rest his hand on your leg. “That means they’re healing.” He reminded you.
“I know.” You nodded slowly as you watched the milk drip into the bottle. “I hate this, Javi.”
He squeezed your leg, “You still gonna try to hold out until you can breastfeed?”
“I don’t know,” You admitted, chewing on your bottom lip. You hated feeling weak and this shit made you feel like you were frail and stupid. Crying over not being able to feed your child. No one understood. “We’ll see.”
“I’m, uh… I’m sorry for barging in.” Javier said quietly, his brows drawn together as he looked down at where his hand was resting on your leg. “I should’ve knocked.”
“It’s fine.” You told him with a tightlipped smile. “It’s not really that big of a deal.” You reached down to catch his hand, giving it a little squeeze. “The beach sounds nice. Even if I don’t go, you and your dad should go. He’s been cooped up here for too long.”
“He’s gonna stay another week,” Javier informed, his jaw working slowly as he looked down at where your hands were. “Then he’ll be out of our hair and things can go back to normal.”
Normal.
Did you even remember what normal was? Had you felt like this with Josie? You didn’t think you had — you hadn’t exactly had the privilege of falling apart when you were in Colombia.
What was normal?
“Yeah.” You nodded, sitting up a little straighter then as you held out the second filled bottle, “Do you mind?”
“Of course not.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth and took the bottle from you. He was in the bathroom longer this time — quiet.
When he emerged with the rinsed out bottle, his eyes looked red, but you didn’t have the energy to care. You barely had the energy to care about anything these days.
“You gonna stay in here?” Javier questioned, shifting anxiously from foot-to-foot as he stood at the end of the bed, not quite meeting your gaze.
“I need my heating pad.” You answered, sliding your legs over the side of the bed, wiggling your toes as you pressed your feet to the floor. “I’ll come out there.”
Javier pulled open the door and held it open for you as you wrapped your throw around your shoulders and made your way towards him.
“Hey,” You whispered, stopping in front of him.
“Yeah?” He arched a brow.
“I love you.” You told him gently, reaching out to brush your knuckles against his cheek, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips, before making your way out the door.
“Mommy!” Josie cheered, as you stepped into the family room. “Sissy burped big!”
“Did she?” You laughed softly, summoning as much enthusiasm as you could for her benefit. “Did your abuelo feed her good?”
You caught sight of the wary look Chucho gave Javier as his eyes shifted between the two of you. But he was quick to put whatever that was aside when he met your gaze.
“She ate like a prize calf,” He remarked, cradling her to his chest as she fussed at the new commotion in the family room. “How are you feeling, chica?”
You sank down on the sofa and adjusted the heating pad over your stomach, “Cramping.” You offered with a shrug. “And tired.”
“Can I kiss it better?” Josie asked innocently as she crouched down next to the sofa.
“It might work,” You intoned, playing with her curls.
“O-Tay, mommy!” Josie leaned over you and pressed a kiss to your stomach. “All better!”
You smiled at her and echoed, “All better!”
Josie giggled, before prancing across the family room to the armchair where Chucho was sitting. “Sissy! You gots to get bigger so you’re more fun.”
You tilted your head to look behind you, catching Javier’s gaze. You wished you knew what was going on behind those stormy looks, but you weren’t certain you could stomach more guilt. You knew it wasn’t fair to make him bottle it all up — but you couldn’t do it.
Javier rested his hand on the arm of the sofa, leaning over you.
“What are you doing?” You laughed, a genuine laugh that made your heart warm. You reached up and played your fingers through his hair. “Hi.”
“Hi.” He breathed out as he peppered a line of soft kisses along your jaw, before his breath warmed your cheek by your ear. “I love you too.” Javier murmured and you swore you felt a tear slide down his cheek and land on yours, before it fell into your hair.
——
“How was the beach?” You questioned sleepily as the bathroom light cut into the darkness of the bedroom and woke you up.
“Good.” Javier offered, shutting off the light and making his way through the darkness. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s alright.” You assured him, rubbing at your eyes as they adjusted to the lack of light. “What time is it?”
“Just after nine.” He answered as the bed dipped behind you. “I fed Sofía.”
You reached out and ran your hand down his back, “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Javier sighed heavily and you listened to the sound of his watch dropping onto the nightstand, before he settled down on the bed beside you. “How was your evening alone?”
“I got two children cleaned, dressed, and down before eight.” You grinned, even though he couldn’t see you. “An achievement.” You stretched your leg out beneath the covers, running your foot along his calf. “What’d you do?”
“Let Stevie run around the beach,” He explained, shifting closer to you. “Took pops down to the icecream shop on the boardwalk.”
“Ohh. Now you’re making me sad I didn’t go.” You shifted closer to him too, draping your arm over his chest.
“It was good.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Pops used to take me out on this one stretch of road when we had our serious talks. Beach doesn’t have the same feel.”
Your heart clenched in your chest. “Is Chucho alright?” You remembered all the times Javier used to talk about those long talks with his father.
“Hmm?” Javier sniffed. “Yeah, he’s good. Fucker’s gonna outlive both of us and the girls, I bet.”
“Oh.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “Well that’s good.”
Javier curled his fingers around your hand, squeezing it three short times. “There’s nothing to worry about, baby. We just used the time to talk. Father to son.”
“That’s good.” You mustered up just enough conviction in your voice to mask the way your nerves were settling in. You remembered Javier telling you about the time Chucho took him out on a drive to talk about how foolish he was for asking Lorraine to marry him.
Were you some mistake Chucho wanted to lecture him on? The thought didn’t make sense — you were pretty sure Chucho liked you more than Javier. But those fears still crept into your mind, nevertheless.
“I bet Stevie enjoyed getting two hours of free beach access.”
Javier hummed in agreement, “She crashed on her bed as soon as we got home.”
You smiled to yourself as you molded your body against the side of his, wanting that skin-to-skin contact wherever you could get it. To hold onto him as tight as you could.
“Javier?”
“Hmm?” He ran his hand down your back. “What is it, baby?”
“We’re good, right?” You whispered so quietly you weren’t sure if he could even hear you or not.
Javier pulled you in even closer to him, wrapping both of his arms around you. “Of course we are, baby.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead at your hairline. “You should go back to sleep. Two will get here soon.”
“Yeah.” You breathed out, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. How were you supposed to sleep, now that you had something new to worry about?
But even then, those worries felt muted in comparison to everything else.
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the yoongi thigh riding drabble 😫😫😫 sis ur tryna kill me alsooo i know u said ur trying not to go for the “riding yoongi in his studio chair” trope however i FULLY support indulging in this trope 😉 i rlly love ur writing tho omg 🥰
+ anon said: hi im uh read your latest work and rEALLY LIKED IT so can i please request riding yoongi in his studio chair??? thanks if you would posts it!
+ another anon said: yoongi drabble, were where y / n and he have sex in his studio, pls?
hsfjksfh TWIST MY ARm why dont u !! (i told yall id do nasty soon) now i wanna write a multi-chaptered undergroundrapper!yoongi sjkfjsdf
⇢ word count: 2K+ (lmao)
⇢ warnings: unprotected sex, dom!yoongi, starts SUPER soft then devolves into filth, undergroundrapper!yoongi bc ion like writing idol!au skdfjsdfk, degradation, yoongi’s hands
Yoongi’s passion has always been one of your favourite things about him- if he cares about something, he’ll give his all to it. Thankfully you fall under that category. The only question is whether you’re first or second on the list, constantly competing with his music.
With Yoongi garnering a fair amount of success from his life as an underground rapper, you understand why it’s starting to take over more and more of his life, you really do. You loved Yoongi, you loved his music. But you couldn’t help but start to… miss your boyfriend. A sad irony that you could miss the man who’s been, as of late, spending the majority of his time in his ‘studio,’ aka the spare room of your shared apartment that he said was about a quarter the size of a proper studio.
How could you miss someone that was less than fifteen feet away from you, two doors away? You weren’t sure that it was possible until now, lying in bed, Yoongi’s side cold and the offensive red light of your bedside alarm clock telling you it’s far past the time your boyfriend promised he’d be in bed by. You sigh, sitting up, knowing that you wouldn’t get any sleep if you just sat there and stewed in your negativity. So instead you’d seek him out.
Thankfully there isn’t a lock on the door, he hasn’t gotten around to putting one in yet. You know the day will come soon, since last time your friends were over, Jungkook and Jimin had managed to sneak their way in, looking like guilty puppies when Yoongi had caught them.
Lock or not, Yoongi didn’t even hear you, ears covered by his almost comically oversized headphones, his dyed blonde head bobbing to whatever beat he’s working on at the moment. You can’t help but smile fondly at the sight of your sweet boy so immersed in the thing he’s dedicated his life to.
He’s only made aware of your presence when you wrap your arms around his shoulders from behind. He finally takes those ridiculous headphones off, pausing the track and letting you rest your chin on the top of his head.
You look at the two monitors in front of him as though you have any idea what’s going on on the screens. “Hard at work, huh genius?”
You feel him cock his head under you and he hums gently, one of his large hands- something about him you first fell in love with when you saw it, pale and slender, gripping a microphone on stage- grabbing at yours. “Sorry,” He mumbles, and you can tell by the timber and the gruffness of his voice that he hasn’t spoken a word since he came into this room a couple of hours ago. “Lose track of time in this room. No windows.”
“S’okay Yoon. Just missed you is all.”
Your words are innocent but they tug at his heart and make him shut his eyes for a moment. He never wants to make you feel like second best, but the way he falls into things sometimes makes him forget that anything else exists in the world. But now he wants to be close to you, to touch you, to make it all up to you.
“C’mere,” He’s tugging at the hand he has in his grip, and he keeps tugging until you’ve circled around his chair to stand in front of him. “Up on my lap, babe.” An offer you couldn’t refuse. So you don’t.
You’re straddling him now, well-toned but not overtly muscular thighs under you- a familiar and welcoming seat of yours. His warmth is comforting to you and vice versa. “I’ve been neglecting you, haven’t I?” You don’t want to say yes, afraid of hurting his feelings but the pout that graces your features gives it all away.
“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” One of his large hands comes up to cup your face, and he coos softly when you lean and nuzzle into his palm, as if he isn’t thinking of all the filthy and depraved things he’s been missing out on with you while he’s been cooped up in his studio. “‘M gonna make it up to you.”
And then his mouth is on yours, and you’re reminded why you love kissing Min Yoongi so much. He’s careful and intense, every movement backed by the same confidence and dominance he exudes when he’s on stage. It’s when you deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth, skilled and tactful, that you realize you weren’t just here for a quick visit.
“Yoongi,” You murmur as soon as he’s pulling back, detaching your mouths. You’re momentarily hypnotized by the string of spit that still connects the two of you, staring at it until it breaks. Yoongi notices this fascination of yours, and give you a smirk you regret ever confessing to him you find sexy.
“Are you getting all desperate for me, silly girl? Hm?” You can’t help but rut your hips against his own at the words, loving the way they fall out of his mouth so lazily but with as much purpose as a presidential speech. “So needy ‘nd squirmy for me… Love seeing you so fucking desperate, you know.” His hands are travelling up your sleep shirt- aka an old band shirt of his that you had staked your claim over before the two of you had even moved in together.
His hands don’t go where more inexperienced ones might immediately go but instead traverse up and down your back, leaving delicious goosebumps in their wake. You shiver both from the feeling, and from the anticipation of what’s to come. You go to take your shirt off but are stopped by two hands circled around your wrists. “Patience,” Yoongi’s voice is next to your ear now, as he’s pulled you down using the grip he has on you.
He’s made it clear that while you may be on top of him, he’s the one with control. And he’s fucking revelling in it, you can see it in the sparkle in his eyes as he lets go of your wrists. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you, I promise,” You trust him wholeheartedly, and communicate this with a nod. You know he understands when his hands slide down, under your shirt once more, this time staying far lower.
“Soaking wet and I’ve barely even done anything,” He’s so cocky and you should be annoyed but you can’t find it in you, instead you feel yourself get even hotter at his words. “Panties off, little girl.”
His tone leaves no room for arguing, so you scramble to stand up and follow his demands, panties lost somewhere behind him. You go to get back onto your spot on his lap, missing it already, but are stopped once more by his hands. One is on your waist, holding you steady, only using a portion of its strength and the other is on your face, squishing your cheeks, opening your mouth and pushing your lips out obscenely.
He looks like he’s still deciding what the hell to do with you, how hard to go. Then he’s cocking his head, brazen smirk back on his face as he pushes you down to your knees. The carpeting immediately makes the position uncomfortable as you feel it grating against the skin of your knees. But any discomfort is immediately quelled, or, at least, forgotten, at the sight and sound of Yoongi undoing his belt in front of you- any thoughts of your knees and carpet burn are replaced with the thoughts of Yoongi’s cock. He had that effect on you.
He chuckled at the look in your eyes, finally releasing himself from the confines of his jeans. He sighs at the release, cold air hitting his skin a shock to his rock hard dick. “Practically fucking drooling for this cock, aren’t you?” You nod earnestly and lean forward, towards his cock where his hand works over it lazily. He grabs a fistful of your hair with his other hand, withholding you from what you really want. “So fucking desperate, you slut. You wanna suck my cock so bad? You better do a good fucking job of it, convince me you deserve it in that slutty cunt of yours.”
You barely have time to think about how quickly he shifted from the sweet, loving Yoongi you normally know to this darker version of Yoongi, the one that comes out whenever he’s properly turned on before his hand that’s fisted in your hair is dragging you toward his achingly hard cock. You open your mouth, ready and willing, and mouth at his tip, letting your spit, your drool, collect and fall over it, dripping down the rest of his impressive length. You pull back to give the tip a gentle kiss, barely holding back a giggle when it jumps angrily at you
He breathes out heavily from his spot above you and yanks you back off his cock. “You wanna be a messy fucking tease? Fine. Open your mouth. Now,” You do as he says, not wanting to anger him further.
He collects spit in his own mouth, and you're made to sit and wait patiently, hair a mess and mouth wide open. You don’t have to wait long until he spits into your mouth, the act so filthy, so dirty, you can only close your eyes and whimper, so turned on from it all that you can feel your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs. Messy. “Don’t swallow,” He doesn’t need to explain more as he leads you back to his cock.
You let the combination of your and his spit fall onto his cock, the act obscene but astoundingly erotic. You finally start to swallow down his length like you know he wants, your hands coming up to help. Both of his hands are in your hair now, entirely controlling your actions, the speed of which your sucking his cock.
He finally pushes you down as far as he can, your hands falling to his thighs. Your nose is against his stomach, tickled by the sparse amount of hair there. You can barely breathe from this position, but you take it if only for the groans you hear tumble out of his mouth. “Such a good girl, my best fucking slut,” You moan at the praise, the vibrations making his head fall back on his chair. There’s drool covering both him and your face now, tears welling at the corners of your eyes from the intensity, and every second you can feel yourself getting wetter.
His hands fall slack on your hair, but you don’t pull back just yet, instead, taking the opportunity to swallow around him once, twice, three times. He yanks you off of his cock, his breathing ragged and heavy. He looks at you with a half-lidded gaze. “Up.”
It’s only one word, but he doesn’t need anymore, not with a commanding tone like that. You get back on his lap, immediately calmed and comforted by the spot. He finally tears off the shirt, now wrinkled and covered in drool and precum.
“Now fucking sit on it,” And you can hardly hold yourself back, eagerly lifting yourself up and positioning the head of his cock against your slick entrance. You let yourself fall, the whole of him filling you up perfectly, and so so good.
Yours and Yoongi’s groans mingle together in an unrivalled harmony, the two of you still for a moment as you bask in the feeling. “Being such a good fucking girl,” His hands work up and down your sides. “Now fuck yourself on my cock, and don’t you dare stop. Don’t stop until you full of my fucking cum, ‘till you’re my perfect, messy bitch.”
You start slowly, lifting yourself up until barely an inch is left in your pussy, and drop all the way back down. You continue like this, deep, strong strokes, slowly speeding up until your bouncing on his lap, the obscene sounds of the two of you filling the room, your very own symphony when combined with your groans.
“So good, baby, so fucking good, bouncing on my cock, gonna make such a fucking mess out of you, yeah?” He’s lifting his hips to meet yours, making every downstroke that much more intense.
He lands a spank on your ass, then another, the sharp pain only serving to make you wetter and bounce on him harder. He chuckles in between moans. “You like that, huh? You’ll take anything I give you, ‘cause you’re my perfect little whore.”
You can feel the crescendo coming, building up like a tsunami. “Yoongi- Yoongi please, please, you have to let me come,” Any other time you’d have reservations about begging, but when it came to Yoongi, all pride was left at the door. “Need it.”
“I have to? I don’t have to do anything, whore,” His hand is back on your face, lips puckering out again. You nod in desperate agreement. He’s collecting spit in his mouth once more and you open your mouth wider in anticipation of what’s about to come. He spits in your mouth again, this time wanting you to swallow. It’s a dirty act, so vulgar, and you both groan at the site.
“You see that, slut? You swallow my spit, bounce on my cock and cum for me, all when I fucking tell you to? You understand?”“Yes, Yoongi I do, I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry, jus’ lemme cum.”
“Yeah, yeah, do it, fucking come for me.”
And cum you do, the feeling washing over you like nothing else, eyes closing and your head burrowing itself into Yoongi’s neck, the smell of his sweat comforting. You can hear Yoongi talking himself and you through your orgasms, but the words are too much for you to focus on. You can only feel his cum fill you up, already starting to spill out of you.
You’re both panting in the aftermath, his hands, once harsh, now softly caressing your back. The two of you are slick and sticky with sweat, but it’s the last thing on your minds.
“You still need to work on that song or are you finally gonna come to bed?”
“Please, neither of us are leaving that bed for the next 48 hours, besides to get the door for the take out we order.”
“Sounds perfect.”
#Anonymous#bts smut#yoongi smut#yoongi x reader#bts drabble#yoongi drabble#baby writes#ik this is over 1000 words i really couldn't help myself#this is where i've been the last 2 days#sfkjfshd yikes!
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— “...Grounded Forever.” (M)
title → “...grounded forever.” (m)
pairing → hyoeun x female reader.
synopsis → pt.2 of i know, (x)
word count → 2.8k.
warnings → SMUT !! just fingering
a/n → i honestly feel so much better. like genuinely, it feels really good to be back. i’m not semi back, IM BACK 100% this blog is my number one priority again just like it was when i first started it back !! i miss writing for this blog. i got three hyoeun so i decided to mixed them all into one.
“Hyoeun! You’re back!” You sprung up from your chair, running toward the door, jumping into the arms of Hyoeun. He let out a small laugh, wrapping his arms around your frame.
Your brother rolled his eyes, setting down his backpack across the room, “I’m back too!”
“Shut up, no one cares,” You teased. Hyoeun unraveled his arms around you, setting down his backpack on the sofa, “Sorry the tour lasted longer than we thought. It’s so good to be back. But of course, I got you a little something.”
He unzipped his backpack, pulling out a polaroid camera. You let out a small gasp, “You didn’t.”
“I saw it in a shop window and I couldn’t help but think about you, so I got it for you,” He explained, placing the camera in your hands, “(Brother’s Name) told me not to get it for you but I couldn’t help it. I hope you like it.”
“Hyoeun, I love it! Thank you so much! This will make studying abroad better! I’m going to go put it in my room. I’ll be right back and then we can talk about the tour.” You rushed to your room, placing the camera down.
Hyoeun’s eyes landed on your brother who stood in the kitchen with a glare, “You know, I’m getting really tired of this crush you have on Y/N.”
“Hey, shut up. She might hear you,” Hyoeun whispered violently.
Your brother rolled his eyes, grabbing a bottle of water as well as an apple, “You should tell her soon. She’ll be heading off to the states to study in a few days. And then it’ll be months before we get to see her again. You better confess now or she’ll find a man in the states.”
“She wouldn’t do that, right?”
“We don’t know for sure. Life happens.”
It was pretty obvious that Hyoeun had a thing for you. At first, he didn’t think anything of it. He blew it off, believing he just felt bad for you. Just a few months ago, your highschool sweetheart dumped you over text and he was there for you throughout the whole thing. You don’t know where you would be without him.
Hyoeun had always seen you as a little girl, but after that, he began to see you for the woman you had become. The strong, independent woman who didn’t need anyone. Miss Independent was what he had called you.
He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about you in more than a friendly way.
“Thanks, B/N, that’s totally what I wanted to hear.”
You made yourself known, almost skipping into the room, “What did I miss?”
“Nothing,” B/N lied, taking a gulp of his water and heading to his room down the hall. You looked to Hyoeun, “What was that about?”
“Nothing. He’s just being a dumbass. Hey, you wanna get out of here and do something. I’ve been cooped up all day getting here. Let’s go out and do something.”
“Okay! Just let me change!”
“No time for that. You look fine, let’s go, Y/N,” He reached out, taking your hand into his, pulling you out of your shared apartment with your brother. You let out a small yelp, following him nevertheless, not thinking twice.
You and Hyoeun spent several hours out on the town, doing the same old shit the two of you love to do. Go to the cinema and make fun of chick flicks, whoop his ass at air hockey at the arcade, eat street food until you were tired. And you sure did eat a lot.
He was paying.
But you ate a little too much, upsetting your stomach. Your upset stomach growled back at you, making you whine as pain settled in. You placed your head on Hyoeun’s shoulder, “My tummy hurts.”
“That’s because you ate so much so fast. I told you to slow down but you didn’t listen to me,” He teased, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer, “And on top of that, you downed it all with soju. B/N would kill me if he found out I let you have soju.”
“I’m a big girl~!” You responded, a hmph leaving your lips, making Hyoeun smile, “Sure you are, Y/N. You’re the biggest best girl there ever was. But you’re not a woman because women don’t refer to their stomach as tummies.”
You nodded your head in protest, “This little woman does~!”
“You’re so cute,” He said softly, hoping you wouldn’t hear, but of course you had. You may have been a bit tipsy but that didn’t mean your senses weren’t working.
“Thank you,” You hiccuped.
“Alright, Little Woman. Let’s get you home.”
Some time along the way, you found yourself riding his back on the way back to your apartment. As you arrived, you noticed your brother’s car missing, “He probably went go see his girlfriend or something.”
“I was hoping he would be here to tuck you into bed,” Hyoeun admitted.
You rested your chin on the top of his head, “You can’t tuck me into bed?”
“I’m not even allowed in your room, Y/N,” Hyoeun mentioned.
“Yeah, when B/N’s here. But he’s not. You can chill in my room now though.”
“I don’t know,” He added.
“It’s fine. Don’t be a pussy.”
He rolled his eyes, “Alright, alright. Fine, I’ll tuck you into bed. But you have to promise you’ll go to bed.”
“I promise.”
And that was a lie. As soon as you walked into your room, you felt ten times better, making Hyoeun sit on the edge of your bed as you walked across your room, showing him things you picked up, collected and took pictures of while he was on tour.
“You did all this while I was on tour?” He questioned.
“Yeah. You were gone for a while. And I didn’t have a friend to talk to. I even got a tattoo. Wanna see?”
“You got a tattoo?!”
You nodded, taking off your jacket to reveal a white tank top. You walked closer to him, showing the tattoo on your shoulder, “Some of it is covered.” You took off one of the straps to allow him to see the full tattoo. His eyes widened by your action. He gulped deeply trying to focus on your tattoo, removing any other thoughts out of his head.
The tattoo was of a rose and a crescent moon. Upon noticing your tattoo, he noticed a deep purple bruise just next to it, that looked as if it was formed just a few days prior, “Y/N, what’s that?”
“My tattoo?”
“No, what’s next to it.”
You looked down at your shoulder noticing the medium-sized bruise, “Oh it’s a bruise. I got it a couple of days ago. I think I um...I um...I ran into the door and hit shoulder first.”
“You’re lying to me. Where did you get that bruise? And if you tell me another lie so help me god, Y/N!”
Your head fell below your shoulders, unable to look him in the eyes.
“He came over to get me back.”
Hyoeun had already known who he was, “He put his hands on you?!”
“He grabbed my shoulder when I tried to walk away from him. I don’t think he meant it so I didn’t say anything. But hey, it’s okay. He’s gone and he’s never coming back. Hyoeun, I’m okay now. Hey, look at me.” You quickly picked your head up, placing both of your hands on either side of his face, making him look to you.
You could see the anger expression in his eyes, almost angry enough to kill.
“He still put his hands on you and for that I’m going to kill him!”
You shook your head at him, placing your hands on his shoulders to sit him down, “Please don’t. Don’t do anything stupid! I know how you get, you’ll get all riled up and you won’t stop until there’s blood. You can’t go to jail! I won’t get to see you everyday when I leave to study abroad. And if you’re in jail how will I get to tell you how I feel?”
“How...how you feel?” He repeated, earning a nod from you. “I love you Hyoeun. I really do. And I know you don’t feel the same about me. I know I’m just your best friend’s baby sister and I but I―”
“I love you too, Y/N,” He interrupted.
“You...do?”
“I have since your break up. I know it was wrong of me to have these feelings for you. For one, you’re B/N’s baby sister and two, you were going through a hard time. I didn’t want to somewhat manipulate you into loving me,” He added.
“You know, this isn’t how I pictured confessing to you. I always thought it would be the day I leave. You’d chase me down in the airport, confess and then tell me you love me and then we’d kiss.”
He let out a laugh, “And then cue the 360 spinning camera. I’m sorry our confessions weren’t like a drama.”
“It’s okay, I think I like this much better,” You giggled.
He wrapped a gentle arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. You felt your face get hot. You could feel his breath on your face. You had never been so close, “Hyoeun...”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please...I mean yes,” You corrected yourself, nervously. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours in a passionate kiss. You felt your body explode, butterflies had turned into large birds, their wings flapping roughly in your stomach.
You had waited for this moment and it was finally happening. You deepened the kiss, lightly pushing Hyoeun back onto your bed.
With your lips still attached, he flipped you over, allowing himself on top. He pulled away from your lips, opening his eyes staring down at your frame. Your eyes shot open, your eyes looking into his roaming eyes. You felt nervous under her eyes.
You closed your legs tightly, biting down on your bottom lip. Hyoeun looked into your eyes, “Y/N, I...I can’t. B/N will kill me.”
“Hyoeun, I’m an adult. B/N can’t control me anymore. And you shouldn’t let him control you either. We’re both adults here and I’m giving you permission, that should be the only permission you should need tonight. No one else’s.”
You sat up slightly, wanting to press your lips on his again only for him to push you back down. As your back hit the cold duvet on your bed, chills went down your spine as you gulp.
“Can I take care of you tonight?”
“But what if I want to take care of you too?”
He leaned down, pressing a sweet kiss onto the bruise on your shoulder, lightly. You closed your eyes, taking in his touch.
“Taking care of you tonight will be enough for me. I want to show you that I really do love you and I want you to feel every inch of my love,” He whispered against your skin, before leaving a trail of sweet, passionate kisses from your bruised shoulder up to your neck.
You simply nodded your head, leaning your head to the side to allow him more access. You feel your heart race, the sound thumping sounding throughout your body. You were sure he could hear it too, as you felt him smirk against your neck.
You reached up to his shirt, tugging lightly.
“Do you want me to take it off,” He questioned, his face still in your neck.
“Yes, please,” You answered. He removed himself from you, sitting up. He slipped his shirt off, allowing it to fall on the floor, “Don’t drool now.”
“Shut it,” You giggled, sitting up and removing your shirt and bra with ease, allowing them to fall onto the floor next to Hyoeun’s shirt, his eyes falling onto your chest.
“Hey! Don’t stare,” You blushed, covering your chest with your arms. “Hey, don’t cover your chest now. Don’t get all shy and cute. Lay down for me again.”
You did as he said, your nipples hardening. He kissed down your neck. He left hickeys and marks along the way down your chest, marking you as his. A small sigh left your lips as he continued to leave marks where no one but the two of you could see them.
Feeling accomplished, he continued to move his lips down, inching ever so slowly to your warmth.
And that’s when you had heard the front door slam shut, followed by a call of your name, “Y/N! Did you make it home yet?! Hyoeun didn’t answer his phone and I wanted to make sure you made it home!”
Your eyes shot open as you quickly jumped up, rushing toward your room door and locking it. “Y-Yeah I’m fine. I made it back a couple of hours ago! Maybe...maybe Hyoeun went to sleep or something. He sure was tired when he dropped me off,” You lied, your eyes looking back to the sin-filled eyes of Hyoeun, approaching you slowly yet seductively.
You could already see the devilishly look in his eyes. You shook your head at him. He gently pushed you against the door.
“Hyoeun, B/N is home. Don’t try anything,” You violently whispered to him, a smirk forming on his face, “Just don’t be too loud and we have nothing to worry about. You gonna be a good girl for me? Huh?”
“Hyoeun...” You trailed off.
“Y/N, did you say something?” You heard your brother’s voice once more.
“N-N-No! I was just...talking to myself. Just a bit sleep deprived and I’m talking how stressed I’ll probably be studying in the states,” You rambled, going on and on to distract yourself and trying your hardest to make your brother believe you.
As you rambled, Hyoeun dropped to his knees in front of you, pulling down your shorts and panties. He placed soft kisses on either of your thighs before giving your warmth a deep, long lick, interrupting you midsentence. You let out a loud gasp followed by a loud curse. Hyoeun grinned at your reaction.
“Y/N? You okay?! Is everything okay?!” B/N asked in a panic.
“Y-Yeah. Everything is fine. I just dropped something on the carpet. I’ll clean it.”
“You’re acting weird. Are you sure you’re okay?!”
“I-I’m fine, Y/N.”
Hyoeun wrapped his arms around your legs, making sure to hold them in place as he latched onto your clit. Your body jolted slightly, soft mewls leaving your lips.
You slapped a hand over your mouth closing your eyes tightly to keep from moaning. Hyoeun allowed his tongue to twirl around your clit before taking it into his mouth, sucking gently.
You uncovered your mouth, trying to keep your voice to a whisper, but your heavy breathing making it hard, “Fuck you’re so good at this. I wonder how many times you’ve done this. Is this your first time finding the clit?” You joked.
He removed himself, unraveling one of his hands to land a hard smack directly to your clit, making you let out a loud yelp followed by a whine.
“You just wanna get caught huh?” He smirked.
“What the fuck was that?!” B/N questioned, his voice now on the other side of the door, frightening you.
“It...I was just watching a trailer for a new horror movie coming out soon. We...We....ah...we should go watch a movie soon or something before I go to the states to...ah...study,” You pant out during moans, making B/N scratch the back of his head, as he listened closely. Perhaps too close.
He could make out soft pants and shallow moans. He couldn’t believe it, “Y/N, are you...watching porn?”
“W-What? No! I...” You trailed off trying to defend yourself from the ultimate embarrassment, only for Hyoeun to slap your thigh this time. “Y-Yes. I am. I...I’m an adult and I can watch whatever I wanna...w-watch and I won’t be judged...by you! You...you....fuck...you have Playboy magazines that you fap all day to! Let me watch a...damn porno!”
B/N stood in utter shock and embarrassment for what felt like forever, Hyoeun managing to slip two fingers deep into your warmth, making you arch your back.
“I’m...gonna go to sleep. You...you have fun,” B/N finally chimed, heading to his room and shutting the door behind him. All he wanted was to forget those words even came out of your mouth, but he knew it would be forever engraved in his mind.
Hyoeun fingered you at a rapid pace, already feeling you clenching around his fingers. Your legs were beginning to shake as your small bundle of nerves couldn’t hold in all of the pressure anymore.
You let go, one hand onto the doorknob, the other clawing at the door. Hyoeun continued to pump his fingers in and out of you, dragging your orgasm out for as long as he could, a small giggle leaving his lips, “Sorry for embarrassing you.”
“Hyoeun, I told him I was watching pornos. After this, I’m grounded forever.”
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When asked to write a daily diary for anxiety management.
Here are a few days example....
Sunday 24th
Mood/anxiety = numb.
Additional meds =8mg of diazipam.
My whole body aches yet it shouldn't. My stomach is growling yet i feel physically sick.
Things i ask myself....
Q.1 Will i leave my safe space, weighted blanket & mountain of pillows?
A.1 NO.
Q.2 Will i manage my yoga routine
A.2 NO
Reasons....Why
I feel exhausted even though ive not been outside since Thursday. I just want the aching to subside the pain to leave. My jaw is clenched closed making eating an ordeal. I know this needs to be done.
The dread of what passive aggressive message/s ill receive today either in person or written either way im struggling to motivate myself to move.
The Internet has been blocked for nearly a wk now. But i just let it slide as the saying goes choose your arguements "wifi is not the hill i want to die on" quote from TBBT. I hear Luke (my brother) is now in his bedroom and his door is closed. He has been banging around the house sending passive aggressive messages (sms) since 4am. My belongings that i left downstairs were thrown into my room. I'm nervous to leave my room till i know he is asleep.
Flashback/negative thoughts....
1. How can my baby brother be an emotional manipulator.
2. Last time i had to justify my everymove i was in Portugal in a very bad relationship.
*****Ways im looking to excuse his behaviour. Find the cause to my sudden crash of low mood aka depression with a nice battle of anxiety.
---Logically i know its not the same.
---Emotionally it hurts the same.
The way he looks at me with disgust, resentment & impatience is the trigger. I realise this. How someone you love can make you feel this way.
Solution: i decide to find a solution to the sudden conflict of money and i know there is a receipt in the car. I go to the normal place the keys are kept and theyre no where to be found. I look in all the obvious logical places they could be and realise theyre hidden by my loving brother. His Reasons, 1-to stop me buying shit (his words). 2. He has decided its his house, his car so therefore his rules. (Its all my mums btw)
As im downstairs i notice the kitchen is a mess. Pots all over from a feast Luke cooked up the night before. Or should i say 2am.
So i feel defeated. Ive basically been cleaning non stop everytime i use a room as per gov guidelines and he just doesnt seem to comprehend the severity of the situation.
I decide i need to eat. So i opt for Shreddies with Oat Milk (Luke has a serious milk allergy to the milk proteins in cows milk so im not fussed about milk and am happy to use alternatives) topped with vanilla soya yogurt, bannana, a few cranberries, 3 strawberries, sultanas and crushed Almonds. My logical brain is telling me eat well as we are not leaving the bedroom again unless desperate.
I send a few messages to the family whats app (Luke refuses to be a part of this) and receive encouraging and support in return. Everyone is struggling in their own way so i appreciate having a small outlet between us all.
After food i sleep finally.
Trying now to Ready myself for round 2 which i know is coming.
My mum calls i dont want to answer but i do. I explain the situation. She knows, she has dealt with his angry behaviour since he was 11yrs old. She stated she is coming to visit Tuesday as per new gov guidelines and we will meet in the park. She then asks me to pass the phone to Luke which i pointblank refuse. Im not ready for round 2 yet. Especially since he has his own phone he is just not answering making everyone worry about him but he just resents it. Its safe to say im proud i refused to do something. Gold star award ⭐
Monday 25th
Mood/Anxiety - still no change from yesterday but i decide i have to force myself to move. Wash, clean and pack the additional things my mum has requested.
Additional meds - i decided against taking anything today as i need to be clear headed for my appointment Tues and obvs my mums visit.
I check the weather see its a nice day decide washing is task 1. I set a bath running (multi tasking saving time from all the free time) and head downstairs to pop the washing machine on. Before i left my room i checked my phone for messages i have one from my mum telling me she has had words with Luke and that he needs to basically deal with the resentment in a more positive way.
This explains all the banging and loud music yesterday early eve. He decided to actually clean.
Anyhow I head downstairs. Kitchen is clean, messages all wiped from the black board.
I decide i must try and communicate with Luke as we cant take the conflict with us to the park it isnt fair to our mum.
I can hear him moving so send a sms message asking if he wants anything in the oven. No response. ***He did finally get out of bed at 3pm so a peaceful day so far.
I decide food is required. I opt for protein soya burgers x2 with Spinach, tomatos, avacado, sultanas, almond pieces and some crumpets. I sit in the garden to eat.
All washing is out and drying but im to anxiety ridden and unmotivated to enjoy the sunshine.
I head back to my room to sort bits for my mum and throw away my origami collection. It was over taking my room and again causing conflict.
Lukes awake!!!. I decide to say hello. So far so good. He decides to make himself lunch and throws a fit because i ate a £0.45 avocado. I walk away as i know he is just venting and i need to not start the circle of negative thoughts or interactions. This is rewarded with resentment. Luke suddenly decides to do his own washing and cut the grass. Which means my washing is in his way. Before he even starts i am pulling in whats dry mainly because i want to go back to bed and need my bedsheets but also because he wont care if my washing turns green or is damaged. To my delight my sheets are dry but my pjs etc need another 30mins so i leave them whilst i go and make my bed.
Im bellowed at about washing as Luke needs the line. So i head down stairs to reteive the rest of my belongings.
Self soothing thoughts...
Im walking on eggshells trying not to provoke the beast and i need to keep going. Focus on my achievements. I left my room. I cleaned myself, my clothing and my pillow fort which has been my safe zone for the past 4days.
Deep down thought i am disappointed as i know isolation and distancing is not a long turn solution as the yrs pass im becoming more and more isolated and lonely.
Im downstairs again and i ask Luke if he wants anything popping in the oven as i was having toast. He requested 2 burgers and chips but on seperate trays as he was hungry. Easy to do popped into the oven. 40mins later chips are cooked he is plating up and all he says is "why have you cooked so many chips, clearly we now live in a household of wastefulness".
This was the turning point for me id had enough for 1day and just told him to give it a rest and went to my room.
Im dozing with Big Bang on in the backround and Luke is banging on my door. Mums on the phone. Confirming arrangements for tomorrow. I say a few oks with the occasional nod.
I start packing the bits n bobs my mum has asked for and carry then downstairs so theyre ready for the car tomorrow am.
Its PJs and bed time. Luke has other ideas. He is awake and up and about at 4.30am. Having a bath at 5am, doing weights after his bath at 6am then leaves in the car at 7am. He is back around 8am banging has a shower then decides to leave again in the car. He is meant to be house-bound until July 1st. This in itself causes me anxiety as i cant handle watching another member of my family die in front of my eyes.
Thoughts...
Yes this is VERY dramatic. STOP IT BRAIN!
Take precautions all will be ok.
Tuesday 26th
Mood/Anxiety = No change
Additional meds = 4mg diazipam but late afternoon as i couldnt stop shaking and fidgeting.
My mum is coming to visit. Im trying not to think about the fact Luke is out of the house.
We are having a picnic social distancing style.
We head to the coop as Luke has decided even after knowing our mum all his life never be on time, we have to be early. I buy Costa coffee, fresh bread, hummus, bananas, diet coke and some biscuits the nature valley ones theyre really good. Luke doesnt go into the shop I think at least he is listening to some rules. He rolls his eyes as i spray the shopping with dettol spray and use the alcohol hand sanitizer for my hands and door handle etc. I just tell him its how it needs to be done.
We find a perfect parking spot under a bunch of trees. I notice that all the trees are trimmed in a very even shelf across the bottom. It looked like it was designed perfectly for people to walk straight onto the park from the car park without having to fight with tree branches or go around. But in actual fact its the deer. They eat the lower leaves this made me smile and relax for a moment. WIN.
My mum is late so im nervous that she is
1. Stuck somewhere (over reaction)
2. Lost (over reaction)
3. Just running late (normal reaction)
Im a tad fidgety as im aware i have an appointment in 2hrs. Hurry up MOTHER...
I ponder about work and whether or not ill still have a job to return too. Had an email this am stating theyre cutting 200jobs from the team i work in. So not sure if thats a good thing or not. But its also increasing my anxiety as ive read the email and now have a burning desire to do the research to see what my probability of keeping my job will be. Before my brain can go on a major tangent my mum arrives.
Shes brought Oscar (her poodle) he is so excited to see me. And the big hairy fluff ball gave me the biggest snuggles. He has a major Covid hairdoo. My mum doesnt hug me which hurts but i know she cant.
Picnic time. We sit in the middle.of a field away from everyone. Social distancing 10/10. My mum has made me my favourite cakes, rock buns. (Apparently these are a northern thing) but im feeling the love. Its fairly chilled only 1 disagreement with Luke over blinkin avocados.
Im clock checking and aware of impending appointment, im a little (understated) nervous because ive not had positive relationships with therapists or doctors in the past.
#mental health#lost#hurting#help#self reflection#finelinebetweenloveandhate#still breathing#GAD#recovery#survivor
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could that really be ROWENA STARK , the LADY of HOUSE STARK entering the keep ? king’s landing is sure to benefit from the fact that they’re PERCEPTIVE and DISCERNING , but beware , they’ve also been known to be ANXIOUS and ORTHODOX . they hail from THE NORTH , and it’s said that they are loyal to HOUSE STARK . only time will tell if that will last .
hi , chickadees ! i’m sav , and i’m so thrilled to be back. i was here for the first run of crownshq , and i’ve literally not shut up about this rp coming back since i saw the main started posting again. before i get started on some information about rowena , i’d like to say that it’s nice to meet you all & that i can’t wait to be able to write with you guys. my ims are always open , and you’re more than welcome to ask for my discord if you’d like to interact outside of tumblr , as well. now i’ll stop rambling about myself and start rambling about rowena :
LADY ROWENA STARK is the youngest child of jon & lyra stark — she is the baby of the family , the runt of the litter , and with that has always come a certain amount of extra protection ; she’s always been a little sheltered , clinging to the edges of her father’s cloak , hiding in her mother’s shadow , trailing after her older siblings. she’s always been soft as freshly fallen snow , not a trace of harsh winter to be found in her bones. rowena takes after her lord father greatly , mirroring his selflessness , sensitivity , and observant nature with a similarly solemn look on her face ; always burning with the need to prove herself.
as a young child , she was quite sickly , and for a period of time from ages one to eight , she regularly took on fevers that would leave her bedridden. the cause of this was never identified , but in time she mostly grew out of them , though she can still remember the look of fear on her parent’s faces when they would sit with her. it’s something she cannot help but feel guilt for. while cooped up in her room , rowena would constantly read or otherwise beg for stories from anyone who would listen. she loves to learn , always has ; her voracious appetite for knowledge has always been one of her driving forces. her other , of course , is her family. the stark children were raised knowing the importance of family , and her biggest source of pride is such. she loves her siblings fiercely , and one of the only times you may glimpse the rare baring of her fangs is when it comes to protecting her loved ones. that’s not to say she doesn’t value others , of course , in fact she thinks that every life is important , every person should be afforded the same respect & kindness regardless of their station.
while she loves her mother dearly , she was especially close with jon , always at his heels as a child , often slipping away from her lessons to creep after him , curious , eager , & full of love. her father’s death was like a crack in a mirror , one that shattered the world around her. she has taken his demise with a particular amount of difficulty : at first , she refused to believe he was truly gone , and went through fits of dissociation as a means of coping. her grief is the thread which stitches the various moments of her life together. even so , she knows she must carry on , if only for the sake of his memory & the love she still holds for the rest of her family. the pack survives , after all — or at least that’s what she holds faith in , though it does not make it any easier.
going into the landsmeet , rowena has been feeling quite anxious. she’s heard the stories , even whispered as they’ve been , about the dragon queen. not only this , but she fears for the safety of her family in king’s landing , and it is the point of paranoia which has begun plaguing her relentlessly. she knows very well the gruesome history of house stark & their few travels south.
fun facts : she has a secret talent with archery , though she doesn’t often display it.
going by our zodiac signs , rowena is a capricorn.
while i’m currently at work ( help me i wrote this entire post on mobile so i’m sure there are things i’m forgetting rip ) , feel free to like this and i’ll hop into your dms to plot!
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Twin Andrews Part 2 | jughead x reader
part one:https://writing-in-riverdale.tumblr.com/post/158708863703/twin-andrews-juggie-x-reader-an-im-hoping
part three: https://writing-in-riverdale.tumblr.com/post/158929430293/twin-andrews-part-three-jughead-x-reader
a/n: part two of twin andrews is here!! if you love it and want more make sure to send me a request for a part three!! love u nugs🌹
♕
“wow V” i chuckle as we walk out of the gym “i can’t believe you got Betty onto the squad” we all laugh and Betty smiles admiringly to her friend.
“it’s about time we had a cooper on the squad” i chuckle looping my arm in the blondes “thank you both- this has been a dream since like forever-” she swoons grabbing her heart.
“you wish is our demand” Veronica tells her friend as we bow jokingly in front of her we all laugh holding a new uniforms in our hands “should we try them out for size?” i nod eager to get into something that was familiar.
we pile into the girls change room and put on our uniforms “im a vixen!!” Betty squeals jumping up at down and swishing her mini skirt.
“B can you zip me up?” i pull my red hair aside as she zips me up
“wow (y/n/n) looking hot!” Veronica exclaims fanning herself cause me to stick my tongue out at her “why thank you miss V”
we walk out of the changing rooms head held high, it started to finally feel like i was finally getting back into my old life, the one i left a year ago for with my mum. I find myself smiling at my friends glad that i came back, i needed them and I didn’t know that till this very moment.
“have you spoken to Archie?” i was snapped out of my thoughts
“spoken to him about what?” i ask stopping at my locker to grab a few books “Betty didn’t tell you?” i shrug feeling someone’s eyes on me “tell me what?” i press.
“she doesn’t need to know-” Betty stumbled with her words, i furrow my eyebrow hitting myself in the head with my chemistry book “if this is about B having a crush on him then yes i know” i roll my eyes.
walking backwards i giggle at Betty’s blushed cheeks, ronnie joins in on the giggle nudging the blonde with her elbow “approve?” she questions and i nod winking st the girls
“look i gotta go- Pop’s after school to celebrate? we have our very first Cooper and Lodge girl that means milkshakes and burgers on me” i ask glancing at the clock it was the last lesson and I was craving one of pops famous burgers
“sounds like a good idea!” Betty smiles at me “good see ya’s later”
i turn on my heels and collide with another body sending me to a heap on the floor, i land on the victims chest and we bop heads “fuck!” i cuss rubbing my head.
i didn’t get a chance to see his face before i tried to stand instantly going dizzy, hands dart to my waist keeping me steady.
“woah easy there Andrews” i instantly recognised the voice “Jughead?” i exclaim glances at his face taking in all his features and that old beanie of his “oh my god” i throw my arms around him as he circle my waist.
“i wow you look-” i step back glancing at him “you look good juggie” i hug him once more and he freezes before hugging me back. “still not a hugger?” i ask and he shakes his head.
“no but you’ve always seemed to be the exception” i laugh “id love to stay and talk but i have chem-” he smiles “me too, walk together?” i nod following the boy
“so how come you weren’t at Pop’s last night for my big return, i knew something was missing but Archie didn’t mention anything” he goes quite so i figure I’ve hit a nerve.
“how are things?” i ask changing the subject “yeah okay” his voice sounds strained “are you sure?” i press “im here aren’t i?” i bite my lip and walk next to him in silence earning a few glances from peers, a river vixen walking with an ‘outcast’.
“this is us” he point to the class i follow him in just as the second bell rang others scrambling into their seats as Mr Hill slips in behind us “seats everybody” i gulp glances around desperately for a seat i forget we’d be in pairs.
all eyes are on me and within seconds the class is buzzing in soft whispers “Andrews” i hear jughead call sitting a few desks back, he gestures to the open seat next to him and gladly slip into it “thanks jones”.
he nods glancing to the front of the class “welcome back miss andrews” Mr Hill greets me “good to be back” i clear my throat awkwardly the eyes of my classmates piercing into me.
“so the hotter Andrews is finally back” i turn in my seat to see Reggie smirking in his seat running his hands through his hair “Reggie Mantle, god even Chicago couldn’t erase your idiot voice from my brain” i smile sweetly batting my eyelashes before facing forward rolling my eyes.
jughead laughs at my comment and i smile at him “baby you couldn’t forget me if you tried” i shake my head facing forward “oh but baby It’s not your devilish good looks that made you memorable it was more what you were lacking in you know where”
the class erupts in laughter and i smirk at my victory “ive always liked you feisty my little river vixen” he purs.
“enough” our teacher yells standing and scribbling notes on the board “good to be back” i mumble catching Reggies sleazy glances in the car of my eye “gross”
i mumble copying the notes “you okay?” jughead whispers “yeah just sleaze ball taking a little bit of a long look” i gesture to Reggie with my pencil and Jughead narrows his eyes at the boy.
“yeah he definitely hasn’t changed since you left” i laugh trying to hold in my giggles and people’s eyes start to stray from the board to me.
“hey juggie” he murmurs glancing to the board then back to his book “Betty & Veronica wanted to go to Pop’s after school to celebrate them making the team- do you maybe wanna come?”
he puts down his pencil facing me “andrews are you asking me out?” i jolt up shaking my head furiously
“no i um no i was just-” i give up when i realise im no longer speaking English “what i meant to say is that no the whole gangs going to be there and i want to hear more about what’s happening around here- Betty told me you’ve been writing about Jason”
he turns to the front nodding “ill be there, we can talk about Jason another time when it’s just the two of us” i nod returning to my work.
“why aren’t we celebrating you becoming a vixen?” i roll my eyes “ive been on the squad since freshman year juggie it’s not that big of a deal” i tease clicking my pen.
“noted” he replies focusing his full attention to the white board.
//
“(y/n)!”
i turn to see my brother jogging over to me looking slightly puffed “you good?” i ask continuing to walk my brother following hot on my heels, i was eager to get out of this damn school and to Pop’s.
“are you going to the dance tonight?” i knit my brows “what dance?” i question approaching my locker to grab a few books slipping them into my bag.
“the school dance- its tonight- Betty asked if I’d go with her and Ronnie” i close my locker “she what?” i say surprised.
“i- i dunno she just asked if I’d go with them and i said yes which means you have to okay!” i grown “arch i don’t want to go to a stupid school dance” he grabs me by the shoulders pulling me toward him “please!” he begs.
i remove his hands from his shoulders and start the walk to his car, “please please please please please” i block him out taking long strides to reach Archie’s truck.
“open the damn truck arch” he shakes his head “Archie! Open the damn truck” i yell frustration consuming me at how annoying my brother was being “i swear to god Archibald is you do not open this door i will kill you!” i hiss and he shakes his head.
“ill open the door if you come to the dance” i groan resting my head against the door “fine fine! ill go” i say in defeat earning a happy yell from my brother followed by the beeps of the car being unlocked “hallelujah” i mumble getting into the car.
“Betty and Veronica are going to the mall to buy a dress so ill drop you off and you can pick out something nice okay” he teases smiling stupidly at you “why don’t we both ditch and order in watch a movie something actually enjoyable” i offer clasping my hands together to beg.
“no, i can’t let them go by themselves” i smack his arm “um why the bloody hell not? we can take care of ourselves yanno” i tell him irritation itching at me.
“oh well it’s your first social event back- you need this” i ignore him glancing out the window as he pulls into the parking lot of the mall “bye sissy” he teases. i slam his truck door and flip him off as he drives away.
“jerk” i mumble
“you made it!” i walk toward the blonde and the raven headed girls “i made it” i smile at them as they loop their arms in mine “let’s get you a killer dress” i tell Betty as we walk into the complex and she blushes
“archie tell you?” i nod “when were you going to tell me you asked my brother out?!” i exclaim bumping her shoulder “i didn’t ask him out i asked him to the dance with V it’s not like it’s a date”
“whatever you say coops” i wink at her and run my fingers across the nearest dress rack “wish i had someone to go to the dance with” i think aloud flicking through the hangers.
“what about Jughead? Yous seemed pretty cozy in the hall” Betty speaks up curiosity filling her voice “oh my god!” i exclaim cursing.
the mention of his name reminds me that we were supposed to be meeting at Pops now “shit shit shit” i smack my forehead trying not to think about how hurt he’s going to be when he shows up and none of us being there
“what’s wrong?” Ronnie asks concerned her arms full of dresses “i invited Jughead to Pops tonight and i totally spaced” i tell them guilty “im sure he’ll understand” Betty tries to comfort me placing a hand on my shoulder.
“i hope so” i sulk “do you know what happened with him and my brother?” she shakes her head “they haven’t really spoken since before summer break i don’t think they spoke for the whole summer” i gulp, great what the hell happened.
the rest of the shopping trip i spent too engulfed in my own thoughts and theories about my brother and his former bestfriend that i barely noticed buying a dress and getting to Betty’s house.
“earth to (y/n)” im snapped out of my thoughts by Ronnie, she waves the curling wand in front of my face “you almost ready Arch will be here soon” i nod finishing off my hair and grabbing my dress “ill just change and ill be down before you know it”
“okay we’ll be outside”
i nod closing the door and quickly changing into my dress sliding on my heels and applying another coat of lipstick before glancing at myself in the mirror. i didn’t look half bad i smile at my reflection before the tooting of a horn brings me back to earth
“really archie? i was coming jesus” i complain opening the front door of Betty’s house and walking down the driveway to meet my brother the girls already tucked into the car
“wow little sis you look decent when you put in effort”
i gasp shoving him in the chest “your 10 minutes older than me okay-”
he rolls his eyes at me and mockingly opens the door for me, i smile sarcastically at him and slip in the passenger seat “the quicker we get there the quicker we can get home” i think aloud
“c'mon it can’t be that bad” Veronica teased but i just shook my head “you have no idea”
a/n: sorry for it being long and kinda poopy im in the midst of starting a new part it’s just with the ending i wanted for this is would’ve taken SO LONG! but be excited for part three because their will be lots of jughead x reader fluff! so if you’d like that PLEASE (im low key begging you) to just type a ‘part 3’ or ‘i really like this series or just SOMETHING. silent readers get me down!
and as always requests are wide open my friend feel free to drop a question or a request, love hearing from you nuggets!
-🌹
TAG LIST AS PROMISED: @smadrat @natalieroseg @isak-lo @lena-light
#riverdale#riverdale imagine#riverdale fanfiction#riverdale x reader#archie andrews imagines#archie andrews x reader#archie comics#archie andrews#archie x jughead#jughead jones#jughead jones x reader#jughead#jughead x reader#jughead jones imagine#betty cooper#veronica lodge#cheryl blossom#reggie mantle
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guatemaya & mecksiko
12.29 Atop Yaxha Pyramid
when we can measure our journey
in love shared,
found, exchanged?
instead of in fear of disease
hijack eyes of mania
panic
feeding-off-conflict
the beauty is known no ego
only offerings
can the love always be
charged like the Sun,
infinite, and changing
in each hour-
when does it become a service,
the exchange?
when can it be fully free
undrained, exuberant?
for yourself & for all
for the earth
for the wind
for all that is—
changing form
a leminascate
can it all be
selfless
words & actions,
are they enough?
like the rocks that love the water which kisses them,
the eternal dance
of stability & moving union.
***
after noon
soft dreams
downstream
count backwards
from twenty
& forth
until the numbers dissolve
facts turn to feeling
& the border boxes break free
natural & unseen
patterns yet changing
each non-moment still
like pre-dawn’s cirrus
the dance like curtain
unfold away lights
strong-
the elements
burnt sun
ice water
really
feeling it all
full
heart
full
mind
full
of
nothing
as it should BE
always still
& moving
seed to harvest
sow
in to morrow
with Love’s light
blasting
*
1.17.16
amethyst
charged
emerald & selentine
dreams directed
by the mind’s wind
candlewax drip
fixed on fingers
the torch lights
our nightcrawl
naked under the quarter moon
& the river runs high
poison toads
& branches that split,
graze under the soles
night becomes dawn
time told by Sky
the visions change in Ember’s logs
consume gadgets not necessary
almighty mother fire force
acts, destroys, creates
our womb ignite
as we place hot stones on our sacral chakras,
active the living unacknowledged children
the family of us
&
the natural
All living as one.
water pulleys from the creek,
the new flow.
the same water near passes
over our feet twice
our collective feeling,
on solid foundations.
***
when I’m alone
& write poems
of travelers notes
how real addictions can be
to communication
sugar from the parasite
all the world addicted to the white mans crystal
ancient ruins of conquest
how to get away
from conquerer mentality?
can we remove ourselves from history?
why do we capture another?
separate, control, dominate
trapped in the material system
material hunger
we are spiritual beings
meant to live like plants
will it disappear as the bombs go
the few who print the papers
the chemicals & vaccines
police and sex tourists
drag us where?
the north and south pole
on the same earth.
*
morning meditation on the river dock
silver smokerings oscillate
tubes of ashes fall
the air moves east
& the river rolls west—
wind & water
frankincense & appelblauwzeegroen
their dance
smooth & constant
like thoughts dancing along the rivers
(background noise is all)
no use to anticipate
the next moment
or dwell
the past moment
who you were
what you said
what you thought
what you felt
meaningless
when we live in the mind
in our fears, pain, or planning
we will miss the sweet kiss
of wind on our lips,
the first sip of coffee, bitter
the way the monkeypod shines crimson
gleams bark in the noon sun,
the glory in taking a inhale deep
in tune with the sway of the trees,
you may not see
the makeshift fishingrod
of sticks & shells
the bearded fishermans tailored pants
beside me on the dock
what are we trying to catch?
how simple to speak in silence
when we are at peace,
knowing we swim through these bodies
beyond our crown
beneath our feet
complete
in the profound simplicity
of stillness.
***
day mares
1.7.16
cold breeze & hard nips
a woman sings go ask alice
and the naked children shushing me
under fallen ladders ex-lovers
with newfound company locked
out of the room of togetherness
outside, the observer watches
the time
a stolen wristwatch
a sun blistered lip,
salty like sea waves
& bad barganing
what golden melancholy brings
an even pace a meditation
a clearing of nebulous brain lobes
rotten with acid washed
down gopher holes
bruised & fallen tangerines
which do we shape shift into
focus our energy our hearts
we can be the potted plant
or are we already,
and who is the gardener?
****
san marcos sound wave
lights across the lake, starry
dogfights in the calle
endless & ghastly
cries of infants constant
like crickets
& fireworks
thrown reckless
like the piles of shit
scattered on cement
trumpets & flutes
balancing cop cars on fire
across the lake
peace in the balance
of turquoise caldera
the mother lake
has waves.
*
*
when i heard pretchel speak of
the navel—
bellybutton of the earth
blood sacrificed from the
hard hits
deep fingered
dirty regrets
just to sleep in a bed
away from the nightmares shadow/work
9-5 & 5-9
what a way to pass the time
we jump off the piers onto boats
trembling volcanos make our circles as we
kiss on the mouth
bless the food
break the blender
pull the Devil
karma
as orange the Sun understand
could twist that way
pure BLISS the goddess
we are all a part of
perfect nothingness
nonetheless
i am you
are me
what i do to you
i do to me
when i pour out my mind
like lemonade
the sun shines through
shitshow brigade
body ecstasy
outside the body
we were born as two
we were born without shoes
without the navel of the earth
that keeps
pulling us back.
***
friends with scorpions
the all-knowing scorpion
aliens
why do they return
to the same places
same beds like
second-time lovers
who think they can get by
hiding beneath your pillow
while you wonder in silence
what it will take to be strong
amid Surprise
**
5.18
sleep paralysis
& dead drunks on the sidewalk
brains hanging loose over
puddle of blood sangria
faerira any excuse
to drink to death
feel the pain in my kidneys
free the beating heart parasite
pulse in my body
pulse in my pulse
in my despair,
mary oliver’s wild geese sing,
tell me of yours
i will tell you mine
tell me why the shadow man
comes at the coldest part of night
sun rise before
we rise too
pretend these bodies
will keep us going
and the wind will carry us
in the way she pleases
living to die noble
or living humbly?
***
6.20
sweetwater
the little pleasures-
to graze my tongue along a frozen mango
perfectly ripe
deep orange, unique & so sensual,
craving union with the mouth
to remain nude all day in the jungle
to dance wildly to a drumbeat capable of visioning
to hear ruiz shout the problems of the mind
to think of life outside misery
to cook granola on the fire
to free the lice eggs from my head
to view problems as roadblocks
water-filled potholes choose
how to get through and admire the turtle.
reptilian overload
to see the birth of the day—
the fresh black baby chick
bounce under mamas wing
to roam freely & pick cactus spikes
to prepare dinner
all when the negativity has stepped out.
***
jellyfish regenerate, they are the aliens of the sea.
how to live naturally, harmoniously
here i am, meant to
reflect the fucked up system i am from,
to encourage others to return to the land.
wake up & work together
return to simplicity
not selfishness, pleasure & comfort
we meet the right people at the right time.
truth comes in action & awakening
not the the illusion of movement
or perception deception.
thank you iyke
***
*
not feeling
vs. feeling it all
meant to ascend
& experience nothing
do you love rollercoasters
or are we?
*
poems hidden in moleskins
in a sugar-addicted consumer country
malnutrition consciousness
school teachers in system to know the enemy
there’s a reason why the madmen cooped up in the jungle
away from us all
& there’s a reason why the city folk stay cooped up in concrete,
swarm like fish, absorbed in screens & button
virtual reality, where Gaia Mama
shows her pubes in remote rooftops
the belief in the debt coins & papers
manifest by three generations of puppeteers.
And yet-
who feels more alive?
i see the frustrated alien bacteria control the game
war mentality,
beheading kittens
craves community-
yet blows them away with the word vomit violence.
hate the system, know the system
to use the system,let the system
control how much can we control?
how much will outside stimuli satisfy?
busy consume interweb-reliant
instantly gratified
forget what is really gratification, blessings
how many systems
no different species
we are infinite,
nonlinear time
no reptiles control
don’t get caught up in the spiderweb of the world
who weaves your dreams?
the spiders body, lemniscate
forever expanding
intend, manifest, unchain, let be.
you hate poetry because it doesn’t move fast enough
& paints a portrait too pretty
unknowing that scenery
& the white spaces
speak and move in in ways
the human body could never.
spinning in the cycle of earthly life
creatures on the wheel, darwin
hired to tell us dog-eat-dog
& win not work together
lets separate for power & call it evolution.
but we eat too. we eat chemicals in candy
the white man’s crack, let memory be a hard drive
in the computers of our minds.
backpacker dilemma
live in love
live to get high
live in fear
live to die
live to live
***
morning coffee with crazed
one way to wake up.
irony of sitting & talking
the real parasite the defeat of pessimism
when truth speaks
don’t be insulted
swimming in sweat
in the mexican sun
caked dirt
being in isolation
makes one angrier?
lonelier?
working together
the real solution
instead of believing
in the money go-round
that separates us in our boxes
our safe.
*
in a meat-excessive society
to fight, kill, invade
poison the food
control the water
damage the sea
leak nuclear waste
when free energy
could fix it all?
ets walk, step by step,
mindful
in our place
in the evolution
of being, aware
of control, corruption
of our ripple, on ourselves
into the universe and under the stars.
remember what hicks said,
we are all expressions of the same ocean
6.16
each day i’m asked by a mexican man
why I’m traveling alone
they don’t understand
im not alone
last weeks companion
a parasite in my gut
and now i have a family of lice on my head.
eggs waiting to watch
you see
i attract the finest suitors to share myself with
you wouldn’t think they wouldn’t want to join me
as i walk for hours in vernal Mexican sun
eating only fruit
living away from traditional travelers
caught in the system
on vacation oil their money runs out
drinking their way along the hostel road
sightseeing the hits of their tourist books
you are your surroundings
you are your environment
express the unique wave
you image yourself to be
all your beliefs
shaped by stimuli, external
reflections
pregnant in the dreamscape.
*
fast-paced taqueria tales
i find it silly to spend much money on myself
pay the price of locals
& sit at the tamale stand
on the street corner
with teens and papas
& saucy mujer server
(always love that central american women are not afraid to laugh at you)
behind the counter like a dealer
in the casino of the calle.
bright lights
of the coke machine behind her
& bad television, sports that fuel the town
in the sugar-addicted novella.
division as entertainment.
hit me.
another tamale strikes the bar
with swift hands,
the 40 peso workday
soft camote sleeps in a bed of corn
under a blanket of hot sauce.
hit me.
*
a week of accidental fruitarianism.
can’t stand the heat
reptilian land
a far walk to the village
flesh-eating bacteria going around
the one who passes gives me a ride
with shotguns in the backseat
he eyes it & grins,
“are you scared?”
*
today a gang member
tattooed tears under his eye
in an iron blue shirt
large bodyguard
working the tourist turtle beach
like a chessboard
eyescans
hustling at the entrance
to watch all who come & go
like prey. he lent me
his nephew’s jacket
from his swanky rick roller
family car
and thought about
the slice of cheesecake in the dumpster
you can find sweet things hiding
in all corners of the earth.
*
pat watches as papayas
do the reverse-rainbow dance
satisfied, self-reliant
as the green parrots pass
& a new pair of eyes
hatch from the egg.
meanwhile, the masses dive
in binary systems
of separation, run the wheel of the money-go-round
chew on the potent chemicals,
live inside cement boxes,
domesticated mice working for money-driven madmen
but
since time isn’t linear
& the seeds have been planted
what you seek
is seeking you
in the karmic cycle
of non-attachment
non-aversion
true action.
with steady hands,
a quiet mind,
patience
you’ll watch the earth
return to tribe or die.
*
flora teaches us
to honor what’s growing
follow new life
all realities created
*
christmas eve in the mayan jungle
mules do the pleasure bankroll not he dirt
as the rainbow scale turkeys peek aimlessly from the forest
the jaguar stalks the deer behind us
& the howler monkeys do the tree-top tango.
their call like a lion
i practice the guitarita
watch makeshift football
& lazing hammock brothers sway
blistered soles from miles of dirt deep
treks through mosquito village
i miss my blood family
yet present with my tree family.
my ancestors in their mysteries
corn & snake gods
modern looters & night guards
body full like the moon,
blood sacrifices and love rituals on the jaguar pyramid,
solstice of the waves of this recycled life
of forgiveness.
*
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