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alliterative-albatross · 3 years

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So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again.

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise!

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory.

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs,

~ Jay

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k-itsmaywriting · 3 years

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AnS Fic Rec Bingo

A fic that got you involved in fandom: Drink Deep of Lethe by @sabraeal | T In short: it has everything I love about early Shirayuki, early Obi, and early Obiyuki. Two people, both on the run, meeting in the deep Wood and converging paths by pure chance. It’s such a fun read!! I first read this on Obiyuki Week 2016 and was just so inspired that I was like “man, I really want to write something for this event too” :D So that is how it got me involved in the fandom.

Made you laugh out loud: I Should’ve Met You Yesterday by @bubblesthemonsterartist | E First of all, I eat ‘Obi gets a support system kicking and screaming’ with a spoon. Second, and more specific to this bingo square, bb Aki is an agent of love and chaos and Obi has absolutely 0 game when it comes to Shirayuki. And it’s the cutest and funniest story!!! Things that made me laugh include: the entire chapter Obi and Aki meet Zen and Mitsuhide, “Here lies what was left of Obi’s game” scene, and Aki trying to get dada to kiss Shirayuki’s booboo, AND MUCH MORE.

Favourite trope reversal: An Earthly Knight by @claudeng80 | T I find fae stories really intriguing and interesting even though (or maybe even because) I know like, the bare minimum of background info. Like they’re just so cool and fun. ANYWAY, I loveddddd how even though Obi is Shirayuki’s guard, this fic is her trying to rescue him in a way only she can - with DETERMINATION and IMMENSE BRAVERY <3 A beautiful story.

Action-packed fight scene: The Moon, the Window, the Knife by @glitter-and-golden | G Over 2000 words and my breath was held the entire time. A super cool fic about Wistal castle being attacked by NINJAS which also means OBI BADASSERY :’D But also it’s not Obi if he doesn’t get hurt in the process and him and Shirayuki protecting each other, because we love that food. Delicious. 5 stars.

Gen fic: It’s a Difficult Conversation by @nebluus | T A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION IT WAS INDEED. For Ryuu, being barely a teen who has people he really looks up to, seeing those people hurt is rough. And for a healer, not being able to help them in the way he knows best is DOUBLEY ROUGH. But I just love that Shirayuki sits with him and explains this very hard stuff about trauma in the most compassionate and understanding way.

Canon divergent: i am become death by @bubblesthemonsterartist | M So in 2017 Bubbles and ISM decided to have an angst battle and the rest of us took a ton of collateral damage to the emotions like NYC at the end of an Avengers movie. In answering the question ‘what if Obi didn’t find Shirayuki in time during Tanbarun arc?’, Bubbles weaves this piece of Absolute Art and it’s just...amazing. Horrifies me in the best of ways.

Wept real tears: Nothing Was My Own (Before I Loved You) by @sabraeal | T Specifically, Making Good made me cry real tears. We love a good slow burn, especially that moment where one of them realises they’re in love with the other and just HOW important they are in their life. It’s beautiful and moving!! And also has fluffy AND funny Obiyuki moments that make me squeal. But also the entire WFB series is an AMAZING fic of everybody’s journey thru college and young adult lives and I think about it all the time.

FREE SPACE: The Most Versatile of Guards by @claudeng80 | T A favourite of mine!!!!! :DD So many fun and cool adventure times with herbwitch!Shirayuki and shapeshifter!Obi and I loveddd the Mihaya interludes. The entire world is just so creative and seeing all the characters as different beings is so much fun. And their romance makes me SQUEEEEEEE.

Fav fanmade OC: I gotta give this one to Aki from I Should’ve Met You Yesterday. Number one precious bb with the MOST personality and he’s so much fun to read.

First AnS fic you read: The Automation Heart by @infinitelystrangemachinex | T The first chapter ALREADY had me wrecked. In general AND for this ship. I am also due for a reread. But I remember reading all the chapters that were published then in a single night just being like “oh my god this is so good. MOAR PLS” *clicks next chapter*

Favourite minor character: Garack Gazelt, particularly in The road to Clarines is gravel (M) by @codango, (don’t go) making something out of nothing (T) by @sabraeal, and Dead Men Tell No Tales by @bubblesthemonsterartist (T) (the last which I need to go into the AO3 comments and yell about because OHHHH MY GOD). I always love seeing her. She’s badass and smart and amazing and every time I see her I go *heart eyes*

WIP: Damned by @ruleofexception | No rating ZOMBIES ARE SCARY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT’S ALSO SCARY??? BEING ALONE. AND HAVING YOUR FREEDOM TAKEN AWAY. But no really I love sooo many things about this fic, like the wonderful Found Family, tragic backstories and some amazing story arcs. I look forward to every time this updates.

Canon compliant: Knots by @krispy-kream | G ABSOLUTE FANDOM CLASSIC 10/10. I just love how it all starts as a game for him. Because why take it seriously when he can’t have her for real? AND THEN HE GOES OH SHIT, OH FUCK I’M IN TOO DEEP. And things just unfold wonderfully from there!!!!! Like it’s such a classic “Obi is wrecked and he is slowly losing it with how much he likes his Miss”.

One-shot: Life Eternal by @ruleofexception | No rating Devil!Obi and Angel!Shirayuki is just...THE MOST WONDERFUL OF CONCEPTS. And not only are they on opposite sides, working against each other to either make people’s lives better or worse, she becomes a literal devil’s GUARDIAN ANGEL. And that makes way for such an interesting story and I love its open end <3 It was a really fun fic!!

Rare pair: Cookies for Shikito (Shirayuki x Shikito) by @claudeng80 | G PLS THIS FIC IS SO FLUFFY <3 <3 <3 They’re such a cute ship. Just two absolute cinnamon buns spending time together while Shirayuki makes cookies and Shikito PROTECCS. They’re so fluttery and adorable!!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!!!

AU you took a chance on and now love: Sic Semper Monstrum by @sabraeal | T I simply do not know many Things, including common source materials for AUs. Including Pacific Rim, which I still haven’t watched (but need to, PROBABLY) but I. LOVE. THIS. AU. The importance that is placed on intimacy and emotional connection with the entire concept of drifting and also just like, life in general??? I thoroughly enjoy (as always) the exploration of everyone’s thoughts and backstories and relationships and also psychologist!Shirayuki <3

Pre-canon: ashes in the mouth, char the tongue by @infinitelystrangemachinex | T Both a pre-canon (childhood friends) and future fic!! The summary explains it better than I could: “Obi finally takes Shirayuki back to Tanbarun, but she gets more than she bargained for.” This fic ruined me (in a good way) and kicked my heart out of my chest and it rolled into a gutter (in a good way) and I almost missed my tram stop the first time I read it because I was so wrapped up in it. It was a RIDE.

#ansficbingo #THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK #aw the highlighter isn't as green on my laptop #o well

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eerna · 4 years

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If you don't mind me asking, what's going on at AnE? I stopped reading when Yukio started to go dark side but before Rin got white hair, did the development got better? I always felt like the author had good ideas but he never developed anything, the buildup - payoff game was weak

I feel ya, I LOVED the premise but the pacing always seemed wayyyy off and in the end I got fed up and dropped it too a couple years ago. I actually..... skipped 2 whole arcs during this reread cuz I just Didn’t Care and wanted to get to the new stuff as soon as possible.......

BUT this last arc dealt with the stuff that was properly set up: the mystery surrounding the Blue Night, the backstory behind Father Fujimoto and the twins’ birth, and Rin and Yukio’s relationship..... and I absolutely Adored it. I feel like the story about their family is what the author really wanted to tell, and everything else was just padding, bc DAMN it was so well written and told. I legit cried several times from reading it, and the only other time this series managed to make me cry was the ending of chapter/episode 1 (which was.... also about that family. Huh).

#eernanon #eernask

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nyarisu · 4 years

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I'm bored, do you have any good rammstein fanfic recommendations? Especially hot ones

*cracks fingers* Yes! My time to shine has come!! I can finally shove down people’s throats all the amazing smutty fan fics I’ve read. I’ve been training for this my whole life XD

(this took a while. I wanted to includ some sort of description too but I ended up writing some tags and my reaction to the fic rather than a short summary, which would have been more helpful ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Literally everything by FeatheredShadow. I cannot stress enough how much I love everything she writes. The honorable mentions (aka my favourites) are:

alle wollen nur dich zähmen – Till/Richard. It’s sweet but has hurt/comfort too (also Till feeling murdery)

stroh wird gold und gold wird stein – Richard/Schneider. Making out, dom Schneider and sub RZK, really nice dynamic between the 2 and clever puns from the others XD

und die wellen weinen leise – Till/Richard, hurt/comfort, making out, read it.

du bist mir ans herz gewachsen – Oli/Schneider. Heavy making out, implied Till/RZK.

das feuer wäscht die seele rein – Till/Paul. That’s it, that’s my favourite fic written by her. It’s soft, it’s cute and it’s adorable. Romance with a side dish of sexual frustration, everything is written so well and asjkl I’m in love pLEASE LET THE BOYS BE TOGETHER

Most of the fics written by Arrestzelle. Also I think most all her fics are smut, so you have what to choose from. Again, these are just my favourites aka the ones I always come back to (I reread fan fiction a lot ok??)

Mein Tier – you know that one fic with Frau Schneider and the other guys as some fucked up dogs? That’s it :)) The smutty chapters are suggestively titled and dear lord let me tell you they are good.

Heart On His Sleeve – Paul/Flake, secret crush and sleeping together. It’s on-going, it seems there will be smut but meanwhile the only thing it’s doing is crushing my heart.

Oh My God, Do That Again – Paul/Till, smut. Bossy Paul? *shrugs* idk, just Paul being Paul I guess. Pre-Rammstein

Missed You – Paul/Flake, smut

Don't Cry – Paul/Till, some kissing, Sonne AU. Sad.

A Rocky Start – Paul/Flake, smut

The Wolf and the Lamb – Till/Paul, smut. SUB TILL! SUB TILL! SUB–

Feuer und Wasser – Richard/Schneider, smut. Another Dom Schneider for all your daddy Schneider needs ^^

Stripping Away the Layers – Schneider/Till/Paul, smut, dom Schneider, hot.

And now just some random fics from different authors:

Crawl for me by Zigrat – Till/Richard, smut, sub Richard, Mein Teil live intro inspired.

Auferstanden aus Ruinen by FrauFeuerengel – Till x Richard, hurt/comfort. There’s a little bit of kissing at the end but the whole fic makes it worth the wait.

Temperance by auroragone – Till/Paul, kissing, broken feels caused by Till’s special brand of sad and low elf-esteem, have fun owning a heart.

Fried Eggs and Honey by autiotalo (orphan_account) – Till/Paul, lots of pining, I think there is some kissing going on around here but I’m not sure, Feeling B era.

Indulgent by Anonymous – Till/Paul, smut

Kiss With A Fist by followthecreeper (insibbegerest) – Paul/Richard, making out during Haifish filming, hilarious reactions from the others.

Rock Star by autiotalo (orphan_account) – Paul/Schneider, smut and eavesdropping, I love the end. It’s funny and Schneider gets trolled.

sehnsucht ist so grausam by lunarcorvid – Till/Schneider, smut, sub Till just the way I love him :)) I think it’s one of the first smutty R+ fics I’ve read.

Till x fem!reader, both smut, the first one longer than the other.

Heat by whispered_weavings

Female Gaze by Writing-Rammstein (writingfanfic)

And I’m really sad because I was just trying to find a particular Oli/Till fic that was posted on Tumblr (Headscratches it was titled?) and I can’t find it anymore, it got deleted T_T And it was really nice! If anyone has it saved, please share it with me.

Yeah, so... enjoy the smut? XD

#rammstein #rammbois #r+ fic

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brightaely · 7 years

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“The Lyrics to my Music” - Prologue

Pairing: Suga x Reader

Tags: Fluff, Slight smut and angst in future chapters.

Summary: One day you lose your notebook, the most important item you own, it’s filled with exactly 68 lyrics that you wrote, all of them extremely personal to you. Later that same day you discover an iPod filled with different songs with no lyrics. By some strange coincidence that iPod belongs to the same person who discovered your notebook of lyrics. This would cause the two of you to meet and form a friendship. Or maybe even something more…

A/N - Okay here it is! The prologue to my first imagine! I really hope you like it and any feedback would be very appreciated!

Next chapter is going up next week!

[Y/N]’s POV

All of us have, at some point of our lives, felt the feeling of panic. Whether it was because we were scared of something, or because we missed an important event, or because we lost something. Well, take that feeling and multiply it by a hundred - that's how worried I was when I realized that my notebook was gone. It was so strong that it made my stomach turn and cold sweat to cover my forehead. My legs were shaking as I was standing next to my parked car digging through my backpack like a crazy woman.

My eyes were filling up with tears when I finally gave up realizing that my most treasured possession is gone. This notebook was basically my journal, keeping every single one of my secrets. The only difference being that instead of journal entries, it was filled with song lyrics. Exactly 68 of them.

And now they're all gone! All my secrets, my dreams, all my fantasies - my deepest darkest thoughts - they were all gone!

I tried to trace my steps back to when I last remember using it, which was this morning. I took it with me to the park and after my morning jog I sat down on a bench, right next to the lake and spend an hour or two writing.

Then I went back home to my apartment and when I opened my backpack, my notebook wasn't there. So I decided not to panic and went back to the park, but by the time I got there it was gone.

I groaned in frustration. Why the fuck would anyone take a random notebook they found on a park bench?!

Angry and confused I went back to my car and started digging through my backpack again, in hopes that maybe I just didn't see it the first time.

Which leads me to where I am right now - sitting in my parked car, banging my head against the steering wheel with people walking by me completely oblivious to my struggle.

After about 20 minutes of me banging my head against the steering wheel, crying my eyes out and pulling on my hair in frustration, I tried to tell myself to relax. I told myself that everything is going to be okay, because I wrote my phone number on the inside cover of the notebook back when I bought it, so if anyone did find it they would text me. Hopefully.

And you might think I’m overexaggerating things. But I am not! As sad as it sounds, this notebook has like my best friend ever since I bought it 3 months ago. My safe place. And just knowing that right now someone else is holding it in their hands drives me crazy.

I spent a few more minutes trying to calm myself down. But when I looked at my watch I - for the second time that day - panicked. It was 10:55. My work shift was starting in 5 minutes! I started the car engine and headed to work, going as fast as I can without going over the speed limit.

I work at a small Italian restaurant owned by a very large Italian family. They were mostly nice to me. But even though I’ve worked for them for 3 years now, we never really talked a lot.

I arrived at work at 11:05. Even though I was late, I was still proud of myself for being - almost - on time. I walked into the kitchen and put an apron on, ignoring the angry look the owner’s wife (who was also the cook) was giving me.

The rest of my shift was pretty uneventful. I was serving food, cleaning up tables, sweeping the floors and even managed to clean up a few toilets. But I was also checking my phone every 10 minutes or so, to see if anyone has found my notebook.

But as more time passed, hours and minutes rolling by, I couldn't help but start losing hope about someone actually finding my journal and texting me about it.

It was about 7:15 - exactly 15 minutes before my shift was over and I could finally go home. No one has texted me about the notebook yet, and I was slowly starting to panic again. But work helped a little, at least it was a distraction.

I had one more table left to clean. It was a small table for one at the middle of the restaurant - nothing particularly interesting about it.

That was, until I noticed a small device with a pair of earbuds plugged into it. An iPod - I realized. I didn’t pay it a lot of attention at first and thought that I would just give it to the owners and tell them that someone lost it. It happens often - people losing their stuff and then coming back the next day to get them.

But then, an unexpected feeling of curiosity hit me. Maybe it was, because I, myself, lost something today and I kind of wanted to replace it. Or maybe it was because the idea of someone else’s iPod, maybe containing just as much secrets as my notebook, interested me. Of course I knew that it might just be full of random songs with no real meaning, but I still decided to take it.

I looked around to see if anyone was there, because I knew I would get in trouble if the owners see me taking it. When I saw that there was no one there I quickly put it in the pocket of my jeans and finished wiping the table.

Yoongi’s POV

It wasn’t panic that I felt when I realized my iPod was gone, it wasn’t sadness...it was anger that I felt. After I realized I forgot it at the restaurant it was already 8:00 PM. I drove back to the restaurant, as soon as I could, but when I asked one of the waiters to check for it on the table that I sat earlier that day he came back empty-handed with and apologized, telling me that he asked the other waiters and the owners if they had found anything but they all said no.

I collected all of my remaining sanity and gave the waiter a quick “thank you”, before storming out of the restaurant absolutely furious at myself for forgetting it.

The iPod wasn’t anything too expensive or important, it was what was inside that was important to me. In it, was every song I have ever composed, none of them have lyrics (I’m still working on that), but still, they were important to me.

And yeah, I know, I have the music sheets for all of those songs at my studio, and I can play every song whenever I feel like it, but that iPod was different. I was using it to try and come up with lyrics while listening and re-listening to my songs.

Usually I’m great with words so I don’t really have a hard time coming up with lyrics. But this time was different. It was different, because in my music I expressed certain emotions that, as hard as I tried, I just couldn’t express with words.

And now I was standing in my car, in front of the restaurant, wanting to punch myself in the face for being so distracted!

I sighed and looked around the car, until I found what I was looking for. The notebook. I found it earlier today on a park bench, I know I should’ve probably just left it on the bench and leave, but it was about to rain and I didn’t want it to get wet so I took it with me.

I didn’t have enough time to look at it, and I knew I probably shouldn’t, but the way it looked made me really curious.

I took it and put it in my lap, looking down at it. What if it was someone’s diary? I shouldn’t be doing that. But then again, is there really anyone above the age of 10 who keeps secret diaries?

I looked at the cover carefully. It was a completely ordinary notebook, decorated with a lot of random doodles and random quotes written all over it. I carefully ans slowly, as if it was made out of glass, opened the notebook to the first page.

“A letter to my future self”

It said at the top. And I thought that this was, for sure, someone’s diary, because that would be the kind of stuff I would write if I had one. But as I started reading it, sliding my gaze over the words carefully, as if worried that I’m going to read something I shouldn’t, I realized that it wasn’t a journal entry, but rather a poem. And as I kept reading, absolutely fascinated by the way that person used their words, I realized that it wasn’t really a poem either, but song lyrics. It was structured like a song, and it sounded like a song, so it must be...a song.

When I finished the poem I closed the notebook again and put it aside. I still think that this might be someone’s diary! I just can’t help it! They way the song was written was absolutely stunning, but I feel like it was just a journal entry covered in a lot of metaphors an rhymes. But the way that person wrote it was just so...intoxicating. There are so many words I could use to describe it, but intoxicating was definitely the best.

I looked at my watch - 8:45 PM. I sighed, remembering my lost iPod. It was time for me to go home.

I put the notebook aside, giving it one last look before starting the car.

3 hours later, I’m laying on my bed, the notebook sitting open on my lap as I was reading through it. I’ve read through 4 of the songs since I got home, each of them getting better and better. Right now I was on a song called “Lights”. It was really deep, but really good at the same time.

As I was reading it I realized that a lot of the lyrics probably would make a lot more sense to people who actually knew the person who wrote them, because a lot of them seemed to be holding a very personal meaning, but a lot of them could also be interpreted in a lot of different ways.

For example, I have been rereading the line:

“The lights saved me when nothing else did.”

I’ve be rereading it so many times that I memorized it perfectly. I was trying to understand the meaning of it. Maybe by lights, the author meant stage lights and that performing was what saved them from dark times. Or maybe by lights the meant people in their life. Or maybe they meant something completely different and I just couldn’t understand it.

I got so into the songs that I got out a pen and started scribbling down little notes next to some of the lines.

And as I finished reading “Lights” I realized for the fourth time that night, that the person who’s notebook that was, is an incredible writer. I absolutely fell in love with the way they write. It was just so addictive and they really had a way with words.

I yawned and lied down in my bed. I was exhausted, but I really wanted to keep reading...

I decided to reread the first 2 songs to see if I can find a new meaning in them and then go to sleep. But when I opened the notebook to the first page I noticed something on the inside cover that I didn’t notice the first time. There was a phone number written in a glittery blue pen, and above it it said:

If found, please text:

I didn’t know what to do.

I knew the right thing to do was text the person and tell them that I found their notebook. But I really, REALLY didn’t want to give it back! Also, I already wrote inside it.

And then there was also the thought of actually meeting the person who was behind those words and actually talk to them... It sounded ridiculous, even if I did meet the person they would probably just want their notebook back. Also, I shouldn’t have read it anyways so....

But it sounded so amazing! I really, really want to meet that person! I want them to explain to me exactly what each song means!

I sighed at what I was about to do next. Before picking up my phone.

My first message was a simple:

“Hello!”

Then I decided to explain exactly who I was and why I was texting them:

“My name is Yoongi and I found your notebook on a park bench today...”

I immediately got a response back:

“OMG! REALLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!”

“Wait, did you read anything that was inside?”

I should say no! I really should! Just say no and give back the notebook and the two of you would completely forget about it the next day.

“Yes, actually.”

“I’m very, very sorry!”

“And actually I was wondering something...”

“Can we maybe meet someday so you can explain some of the meanings behind your songs to me?”

“I promise I’m not a creep! Or a serial killer! I just really like your work!”

I wanted to facepalm myself as soon as I sent the last message. Why would I do something like that? I don’t like people! And I don’t like talking to people! And I especially don’t like meeting new people! So why the hell did I want to meet this random person so badly?

The realization hit me as soon as I asked myself the question. It was, because as I was reading the lyrics, I didn’t just become interested in the meanings behind them, but I also became interested in the person who wrote them.

[Y/N]’s POV

I was lying on my living room couch with my headphones on. My button was hovering over the play button of the iPod for minutes now. I turned it over in my fingers to look at the back. “Suga” was written on it in a black permanent marker. I didn’t know what it meant, but it kept reminding me that this was actually someone else’s property.

I took a deep breath and finally pressed the play button.

There was silence for a moment. But then it was interrupted by the sound of a piano. It was a song. A song with no lyric. Only music.

And I couldn’t deny - the music was beautiful. Even though there was not a single word in the entire song, it was full of emotion. Emotion that was somewhat contagious. Emotion that somehow moved through my headphones to my ears and inside my body.

I closed my eyes and imagined a person, their hands hovering over the piano, pressing each key carefully, gently, as if they weren’t touching a musical instrument, but the love of their life.

My heartbeat was getting faster and my eyes were filling up with tears.

The song was hypnotizing. Contagious...

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the loud beep of my phone, informing me that I have a text.

I immediately removed my headphones and at the speed of light, I unlocked my phone.

“Hello!”

It said.

“My name is Yoongi and I found your notebook on a park bench today...”

I responded immediately, almost jumping off the couch in happiness:

“OMG! REALLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!”

But then another thought hit me, that for some reason made me nervous:

“Wait, did you read anything that was inside?”

I sat on the floor, drumming my fingers nervously, waiting for a response:

“Yes, actually.”

“I’m very, very sorry!”

“And actually I was wondering something...”

“Can we maybe meet someday so you can explain some of the meanings behind your songs to me?”

“I promise I’m not a creep! Or a serial killer! I just really like your work!”

The messages came one after the other so quickly that I didn’t have enough time to react properly to any of them. He read my lyrics! And he likes them! He likes them so much that he wants to meet me?!

In any other situation I would have said no. But after all, this Yoongi guy found the most important object I own. And I was so happy and thankful that I was willing to do almost anything in return.

“Okay...”

I answered simply after a few minutes of thinking.

“Really?! Thank you so much!”

He answered.

“Of course:)”

I replied before turning off my phone and putting my headphones back on.

#bts #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #bts suga #bts yoongi #bts min yoongi #bts yoongi imagine #bts suga imagine

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