#i say somehow bc i dont get how lol

[stealingpotatoes]

hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)

#cal kestis #bd 1 #jedi fallen order #jfo #star wars #my doods #anyway HOLY CRAP YOU MEAN STAR WARS WAS ALLOWED TO BE GOOD BEFORE ANDOR (2022-)??????????????? AND I DIDNT KNOW?? #i love cal i loved the story i love how cinematic and amazing it looked good lord #i don't think i've ever played a game which gets such an amazing sense of scale across #like all the great temples or fallen starships were just Wow #like bracca ALONE gobsmacked me. seeing all these things i grew up watching in tcw as wreckage was like Ough Wow and THEY FELT SO HUGE #im just. wow!! #and THAT FINAL MISSION HUH. MOST FEAR INSPIRING VIDEOGAME ENCOUNTER EVER #my only criticisms are the awkward navigation/ level design in some areas and maybe the ending felt a bit lackluster somehow #i say somehow bc i dont get how lol #the reason im making this post past midnight is bc i got off work at 10pm and then immediately had to finish it LOL #anyway big heart emojis im very happy i sat down and actually played it finally #i want jedi survivor now LOL unfortunately it costs money and i have a rule i never buy games in release year lol #tbh i never rlly buy games til they're £20 or less

[binghe-malewife-goals]

Even though I know Jayce and Viktor's relationship in Arcane likely wasn't ever meant to progress romantically, I still can't help but feel like we've been blueballed sometimes.

I don't know if everyone working on the staff was just ignorant of what they were doing, but so many scenes with Viktor and Jayce feel intentionally romantic on purpose, only for a lot of us as viewers to understand we probably realistically won't ever see a romantic relationship between the two.

#s2 is always possible but i very highly doubt it despite how much id love to be proven wrong #im be just a smidge 🤏 cynical about it all #id love to see an actual gay relationship like jayce/viktors on screen bc i feel like we dont have enough of that #but you know 😔 despite things like this becoming much more common (ilu nimona good omens ofmd) i dont trust riot lmao #arcane lol #jayce talis #viktor arcane #jayvik #btw hate when ppl say “but caitvi” like somehow makes it better “wow! we get one queer relationship? omg so generous we cant complain”

[pepprs]

i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!

#purrs #imbeing insane about it i know it’s not that simple / reductive and i will still feel like shit abt myself once im in a relationshp (if i #get to be ♥️) and there are lots of other legitimate reasons to feel shit agtbyiurself. but it’s like no ficking wonder i feel inadequate i #am a 24 year old who lives at home and has never held a hand or whatever next to two 50sometjinf year old married men with pets and phds. of #course i am going to feel inadequate and stupid and lonely. like i canttttt 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 and th w worst part is you can’t just go out into #the world saying that and looking for that it has to find you so i will not join any dating apps or whatever but i don’t fucking go anywhere #so im not going to meet anyone and i knowi am so young and stupid and just having a horrible day that is reminding me of horrors. but the #way i am mentally shoving my whole fist in my mouth. OF COURSE I FEEL LIKE SHIT I DONT HAVE A LIFE PARTNER!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE THAT #SAFETY AND STABILITY AND TRUST AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!!!!!! AND I NEVER HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #delete later #like this is what makes me crazy abt parents and kids too and whyi don’t think ihave kids. bc i think (and i know this is wrong / unhealthy) #it is a primal human need to be mutually someone else’s number 1 person and when you have kids it’s like you’re gonna love your partner more #than the kids and then the kids (read: me) watch that and get fucked up over it. but also that could just be me reacting to the UNSPEAKABLE #psychological damage of being a twin. which again is ridiculous bc it’s n out like abuse i just had to share something with someone else si #since before i was born and ofc there was more like actually kind of abusive stuff on top of it LOL but that aside. idk what im saying i #just feel so crazy. the amount of composure it takes me every day to not start SCREAMING with frustration and envy when i see ppl being #RIGHTFULLY DESERVEDLY visibly confident and loved. like ok valentines grinch go sit in the drainage pond forever please. but it’s so crazy #like how are you supposed to go through the world unaware of how much love you’re missing out on because you’re young and then you realize I #it and then somehow you miss the train and you are scared you are going to d*e alone ♥️ im normal

[yuwuta]

i just read the test drive fic with yuuta and i screamed when there was just hashtags after his text 😭😭 loved it so much istg, I'm praying you get the chance to work on a pt2 soon but no rush, I'm enjoying your other posts, I'm so excited for the valentine's one!!! 💗💗

there will be more to the story, i just can't promise when i'll post it because i'm still figuring out how to frame it? i've tried writing the mirrored conversation w/ yuuta telling megumi, toge, and gojo about your marriage, but it doesn't feel right LOL so i'm shifting gears to more about reader and yuuta potentially navigating their divorce? which is really about me figuring out how yuuta wants to tell you that he wants to stay married 😭😭

#im trying to.... #how do i say this #whenever i write yuuta it's always so much internal dialogue/thought and i have this (subconscious?) tendency to give him like... #yandere i guess is the overarching word LOL tendencies but not to his knowledge? #like he... when i write him i dont write him as thinking he's possessive but still somehow knowing that he's Too Much #none of that makes sense.... but this is all to say that writing dialogue for him is hard but writing paragraphs about his thought process #is way easier bc hes easier to word dump and then refine vs when i write dialogue its personality based and i guess what im saying is #even tho im giving him his thoughts i have a hard time putting them into his own words? #ANNIEWAYS the point is. he's easy to write hard to communicate with in my own writing...... #whatever that means LMFAO #so in conclusion: i like writing yuutas pov but i struggle with his interpersonal interactions #also i am like... incapable of writing him in a large group/with more than two characters around.... in all my drafts he has lik #one conversation at one time #i just i just... process him very intimately? can u tell i love him........ #i also write satoru the same way........ #but megumi and yuuji are the opposite? #this is getting long... i just love yuuta LOL

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals #and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away #from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird #ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas #there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil #lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit #like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside #all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶 #maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha #ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i #dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January #so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes #just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im #afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see #me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over #im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol #i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful #unrelated

[aemondtragaryen-archived]

having the worst day known to mankind so pls tell me something that has made you really happy recently.... or like any kind of happiness you want to share <3

#pls pls pls I am not doing well #tw rent in the tags!!! #I really thought I was doing well with my roommates #but my one pretty much told me in the kitchen how terrible she thinks I am #all because I sent a text to our group chat saying the dishwasher was dirty and we could put our dishes in their #because I was the one who did it. that is why I sent it. and there was a million dirty dishes in the sink #she said to me and I quote. I do not like being told to do thing #things* #I didn't even tell her to do them... I said I did them and that we could put our dishes in their that were dirty.... I dont get it #and we have pet rats and she told me I basically she does more than me in the house (she doesn't lol) #her reasoning was that she does the rat cage more than I do which is NOT okay because that to her is a shared responsibility #but doing the dishes is somehow not something that should be a shared responsibility ????? I cant explain it BC IT MAKES NO SENSE #she literally just got sooo aggressive and went on to say if the dishes dont get done in a few days that is okay. I have no reason to expect #expect her to help with the shared spaces being cleaned. it will get done when it getsdone #there is more but it is just the same level of entitledment #she was talking over me and calling me passive aggressive when I stood up for myself it gave me an anxiety attack #and she knows I have bad anxiety and I guess she saw my hand shaking from anxiety and said so condescendingly that SHE gets anxiety too #like im so ridiculous for having anxiety #I told her we should talk when my other roommate was home and she ignored that and told me it WOULD happen now. it was so disrespectful #idk im so upset also bc I have a really good day with my friend until I came home to her doing that #going to try and write fanfic to distract myself now ugh #if anyone actually read this and wants to voice how insane she is feel free lmao I am not okay rn

[achilleslyre]

ffs so much shit just happened and got revealed to me rn i need to stop talking to my family omfgg……..

#talks to aunt who reveals sickening info to me about x #-> tells my dad to not post about thing on FB bc x found out about it bc x’s friend saw it and told her #-> dad gets super pissed at x’s friend and messages her like ‘did you open your fat mouth about [thing]’ #-> i wasn’t supposed to even tell my dad about it but told him just so he woukd not post about thing or future thing at all anymore #and x’s friend will now tell x that my dad messaged her about thing meaning he found out somehow and will figure it was cause of me #-> x will then probably put two and two together n realize that i probably met up with my aunt and she told me that she n x know about thing #i dont want x knowing anything about my wherabouts or that i talked to aunt #-> aunt will prolly be told off for telling me #-> aunt will prolly get mad at me for telling my dad (but i had to so he’d stop posting about thing) #and the thing is that !!!! my dad was explicitly told not to post about thing so that x will never find out ! this is so fucked up! #i’m rlly pissed off rn that x’s friend told x bc she knows EXACTLY why x was never supposed to know about it…. and told anyways… #also mad at my dad bc i told him not to do or say anything and just not post thing anymore but he went and straight up messaged x’s friend #about it which will cause issues for me #family is NAWTTTTTT worth it #why is my family such a fucking shit hole lol #thing is i straight up had to tell my aunt i would walk right out of the restaurant if she didn’t tell me how she and x found out about thin #for her to actually tell me how she found out… the fact she wanted to keep it a little secret or w/e………… i’m so pissed rn #why are family members who’ve abused u ur whole life so obsessive about finding shit out…… fuck x i hope she dies dead #jitter bugs u

[jrueships]

LOL glad I’m not the only one who notices how Allen can kinda intensely stare at people 😅 I wonder if diggs feels flattered abt it or uncomfortable when it happens to him (esp when [REDACTED])

POV: you are Josh Allen 😳😳🤭

POV: you are stefon diggs 😐.

#ID SAY ID HOPE THEY DONT DO FACE2FACE A LOT BUT..... stef is Definitely a sl*t for eye contact while getting dug out #and allen is probably into making that eye contact. not to seem sexy tho. just bcs he likes looking at stef <3 hes pretty <33 #it's just that. allen Isnt when he stares 😭 #WE DONT GET IT... but it works for THEM.... #thats all that matters 😭 #im sure stef feels flattered in his own weird little way #like he can turn this creepypasta staring sexy somehow because hes just THAT in love with allen #'haha u look like u wanna vaporize me on the spot haha thatll be hootttt🥵🥵 ooo dont do it 😿(you can🥰)🥴🥴' #*poses like a sexy cat #i think they would be weird like that #stef might be the hot one but hes also the weirder one 😭 like allen just has a staring problem thats it #stef has problems in general #BUT IT'S OK BCS THATS WHAT THEY BOND ON... it WORKS for them #no one just knows How #HILARIOUS ask thank u for the idea it's genius lol love it #ppl whose relationship just WORKS for them in their own weird little ways my Beloved #diggs/allen #ted redacted #ted sus #ted asks

[timetrees]

i think i got sexisted against in wizard101

#this guy runs out of cards and dies and then tells ME i need to cut my deck as i’m fighting the monster for both of us #then asks me if i KNOW HOW TO DISCARD CARDS #like i am 4 levels higher than this prsn we are in the same rank but somehow i don’t know a basic feature of the game #THEN he asked me where my blades are which i didn’t respond to bc like. obviously not in my hand! what am i supposed to say #and then gets mad when i don’t respond (bc every response i could think of felt mean) and is apparently not coming back to finish this quest #lol #x #wizard101 #posts that are unreadable to ppl who dont play

[snekdood]

I give too much advice to adults who are dedicated to acting like children and not wanting to understand ppl theyve decided to hate for no reason.

#like why do i extend my arm when you're just a bully with a woke coat of paint to justify your actions lol #like plenty of the posts i reblog say- just bc you dont like something or in this case SOMEONE. doesnt mean you have to find a secret #reason theyre somehow problematic to justify your dislike of them. sometimes you can just dislike ppl for dumb petty reasons even #id rather you just be honest that thats the reason instead of being a manipulative fuck making me think theres some secret other reason im #doing what im doing and if i dont listen to you then it means i dont actually want to be progressive or whatever. bc we both know thats not #the reason you're doing this. we both know you're just doing this bc you like to be a bully and found a woke way to do so. #we both know you dont actually care about me changing bc if i do listen to you and change. there will be a new expectation that i didnt #successfuly fill. thats just how ppl like yall work #thats just how bullies who like to see themselves as progressive are #i say like to see themselves as bc i see bullying as inherently a rightwing thing. and obviously if you're not being a disingenuous fuck rn #you know i mean genuine bullying when yoy bat someone around like a cat for not living up to your expectations #not calling ppl out for their genuine obvious shitty behavior #these are two different things and ik manipulative bullies who larp as progressive ppl know that but seems they wanna convince us theyre #the same so they can keep batting people around. please get a hobby. please find a new way to entertain yourself #oh and please for the love of fuck go to therapy bc no one does that shit other than when they feel inadequate themselves. #idk if you've noticed but i like never feel the need to bully people. idk why but i think its bc i love myself and i love being weird and #eccentric and not fitting anyones specific standards. idk. its more freeing to mot give a fuck what other ppl are like #and trying to change their behavior somehow someway to be more palatable to what youd like. #and maybe bullying isnt right wing but its definitely not progressive. sorry for not having the perfect phrasing ik its horrible #im just so terrible for not phrasing things the way you want i know. #ik a lot of the stuff about narcissists and bs but the shit about communal narcissists is what ppl like this remind me of #purely in it for the aesthetic. to look progressive and cool and diverting from the norm. but shits on anyone who might threaten their role #even if theyre just imagining theyd someone how threaten their role in this. oh and of course they only give af about shit to look good #which is why when you do something that doesnt fit the Aesthetic Of Progressivism then automatically you're kicked out and not progressive. #bc ppl who are 'communal narcissists' for lack of a better term. have set the standard that its how leftist you *appear* than what you do #or what you believe. #i wish we had a better term for this bc i think this a useful observation. i jst dont wanna throw ppl w personality disorders under the bus

[kimmkitsuragi]

ahhh.

#unsocialized puppy behavior...... #also i should be doing SO MUCH MORE. #im so. numb with anxiety (????) like ????? stuck ?????? like waiting for this to be .... finalized ??????? #but also ???? very scared of everything???? lmao #it will work out. it has to work out. please please please please . ahhhhhhhh 🙁 #it's just that i came this far in the process and now it's still uncertain and i dont want to let it go at all #am i stupid. this is just life sometimes things dont work out. yet. i refuse to believe it will fail #(while also being too pessimistic about it and thinking im surely gonna fail all day every day) #(i dont know how both can exist) #it's like it can't fail. because i think i might die if i dont get to do this. lol #and also!!! i dont have any other plan or anything bc im stupidddddd #somehow things will work out like i know i wont die and the world wont end etc etc #but+!!!!!!!@@@!!!! i thunk!!!!!!!! i deserve this honestly and it's such a delusional and selfish thing to say lmaooooo #but !!!!! please 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i dont know. i dont know #i dont knowwwwwww lol #🗒 #in the stage where im not even embarrassed by posting vents every day sorry guys ✋

[hetamata]

next time i meet someone i gotta make smalltalk with at a party and they mention japan im straight up gonna pretend like ive never heard of the country or sth istg

#pot.txt #when someone talks about their past/upcoming trip to japan and i go yeah japans great been there before and they ask why and i say #Bc i have family there and you can just. smell the instant where you become an exotic specimen and trivia dispenser to them #im glad u enjoyed ur trip to japan lol why do i have to name the seaweed dish u ate in a region ive never visited #and why do i gotta hear how gross u think natto is. lol #i dont mind talking about japanese culture in appropriate contexts and i love talking about food but man. its def not the first time #Tho admittedly i did get off vibes from him when he asked me what i do and cut me off like a sentence in to explain that hes a scientist #albeit in a different biological system and knows about his wifes field via her work. #which like sure i get that kind of reaction if i was tryna explain a neuron to him. #But i was literally saying that i dont work in his wifes field lol #Oh man and when he said sth like oh so you claim to have japanese ancestry #haha youre very cute phrasing my heritage and identity like its somehow up for debate.

[caruliaa]

omitb spoilerss but before the season 3 finale i want to say and get out there tht i think tobert is involved in the murder some way, i do think tht donna(or maybe cliff) was involved but i also think tobert is part of it either the murder itself or covering it up

#omtib spoilers #ALSO WHEN IT COMES OUT DONT TELL ME WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS UNTIL I WATCH ITT UHH #but i mean okay like unless im remebering wrong the biggest suspect he pointed out was jonathan which did end up #being a red herring in some way and like i mean like. he is suspicious !! #ik he said he doesnt want to do that again but i cant stop thinking abt the elephant thing. like he said himself tht like. #a documentry on it wld be huge. but idk maybe thats too close to what happened last season #but i feel like hes invloved somehow even if it was the producers roping him into covering up what happened #idk. the main reason ill be hoenst abt is that i dont rly like him. but like the thing is also tht i have kinda nothing to worry abt #bc every love interest theyve given mabel so far has been gone tht next season #which is good news for me bc it means regardless tobert will hopefully be gone lmao #tbh in terms of potential love interests she def has a lot of chemistry with theo tho i also if shes gonna get another love interest #i do want it to be another woman sorry . but i also like. the thing w theo is thts hes a recuring character #so a romance wld be something focused on more by the shows than the romances shown os far and i kinda dont want tht #idk if they cld keep the relationship low key enough to not overshadow like. the friendship thts the actual core of the show #anyway im so of track. r we even gonna get a season 4 god i hope we do #can the hollywood execs get over themselves nd meet SAG -AFTRAs demands before it leads to good shows like this one getting cancelled pleas #idek how likely tht is to happen i just looked it up and theres things saying the show might be delayed by the strikes but not cancelled #but im still worried for some reason lol. also abt abbot elementry. tht show deserves to go on a little bit too long #like every other sitcom out there okay !! not actually but i mean like. if it ends now ill be fucking pissed !! #anyway what as i saying. i think he did it but i just cant prove it....... #flappy rambles #omitb

[guideaus]

Whenever I have an issue with something I've pirated, I keep my mouth shut once I remember, but that's just me, 🤷‍♂️

#personal #they arent even criticizing though. they want a product for free from ppl who dont get paid #maybe put some effort into finding it and throw some money their way lol #i cant even say theyd be valid to complain if they did buy somehow bc the equivalent would still be yelling at the author to release it #i genuinely think its sad how some ppl value media over creators #any they couldve shown interest literally any other way #'wow i hope some fan scanlators pick this up!' (they have btw.) 'id buy this if a publisher licensed'

[viniferas]

they'd be like, oh but you're missing out!

how can i miss out on something that people have explicitly sang, written, drawn, done, portrayed, depicted, symbolized, metaphorized, et fuckin cetera, over a hundred million times already. i know more than enough about it, which means i can even more assuredly say that i'm incredibly disinterested it in all in reality

#besides even if i wanna engage with it fiction is a suitable enough of an outlet to explore those possibilities and more #its much safer and doesn't put you at risk at the real dangers and the actual health complications it would pose #''feeling good in the moment'' means nothing to me especially in comparison to ensuring that i dont die of something stupid in the future #most ppl would be like. well im not even gonna live that long anyway lol #first of all: yes you are #2nd: you'll have to live with that forever #i say the first thing bc people in the past have lived through more bullshit and stupid things but that doesnt mean it was a life without #consequence. usually they end up just getting used to the pain bc they're forced to but the fact that the cause of it was often avoidable #would leave a lasting regrettable decision forever but ppl would still strive to work towards something in the hopes #at their suffering would be worth it somehow in the future #in which case its only a matter of how they treat the ppl around them and how much ppl are gonna care for them in return #welp time to sleep lol

[kuiinncedes]

who is me sending a bunch of texts in rapid succession without thinking about them tooooo too much

#who even is sheee lol #no but its like if i send them fast enough i can't sit here and overthink them forever go go go #bruh also i accidentlaly renamed an imessage group im in for a class group presentation #bc i didn't realize it would just rename it if you didnt click done or whatever and then i exited and it said i renamed the chat and then #removed the name lmfao 😭 so then i rerenamed it #what would it be like to not think circles about everything i sayyyyyy/dooooooo 🤩 #im trying to be less like that lmfao bc all these ppl im around on board and stuff are always just like saying shit and confident and stuff #and i'm just like WATCHING LEARNING TRYING AT LEAST XD #we had a board meeting this morning at fucking 9 am bc somehow out of the several days on the when2meet #this saturday at 9am was the ONLY time everyone was available XD #and it was 32 fucking degrees this morning lmfao i still dont have my winter coat here bc apparently i dont know how to live in michigan #and it's probably gonna get very colder soon so fun :D #BUT BOARD MEETING WAS RLY FUN <333 #oh also it was so funny that the discord board channel was just everyone complainign about getting out of bed bc COLD lolllll #also i ran into a couple glowstick club alumni while i was getting takeout w my friend #and it was nice to talk to them hehehe i miss them they were great <3 #wish i wasn't so FUCKING AWKWARD last year so i could maybe have gotten to know them more and used my time with them better lmao #im still fucking awkward but last year was even worse lmao 🤪 #but no but one of them was like jeanne i dont think ive ever seen you without a mask i didnt recognize you for a second #(which was kinda funny bc i was planning on taking my mask but then i forgot when we left and i was like ehhh it's ok ill be inside for #like half a second lol and i was but anyway) and she was literally like you're beautiful and i was like ??????!!!!!!!!!???? naurrrrrr 😭😭😭 #literally UR so beautiful and ive always thought that hand in marriage wtf afjngakdljfhgfsjgk 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #u cant just say that idk how to respond lmfao 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #jeanne talks #lemme get back to this fucking research for a presentation that ive been trying to do all day and doing very very slowlyyyy XD