#i think im just gonna go cry for a while

[the-holy-ghosted]

congrats 2 henry peglar for being the only bitch confirmed as to be Fucking That Old Man

#the heron giveth #the terror #alright here come the funny tags #bridglar #briglar #people spell it both ways i think. ill do both hujst to be safe #henry peglar #john bridgens #uh um um. uh #peglar x bridgens #THIS FEELS WEIRD. TO TYPE #bridgens x peglar #alright im done good GRIEF #this isnt even that extreme compared to the shit people are putting on ao3 about these two. god. #anyways hi ive watched this show maybe 7 or 8 times? only just recently have i gotten hooked on them #the scripts make me go nuts too. ''they were lovers in their pasts'' shut the fuck up dont say that to me ill start crying #this is the most risque thing i have ever posted on here #getting out of the fandom game for a while rewired my brain i have to get weird again. and boy do they make me feel weird ! #i have a number of terror mutuals who r gonna go nuts over this. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me style #this looks blurry posting it hopefully tumblr doesnt crunch the shit out of the quality anyways im done typing goodbye

[nextstopparis]

arthur + his people

#oh good god please do not let this flop i was literally reduced to tears while ordering it bc it was so overwhelming #like theres so MUCH ive had to cut this down like five tomes now and its still HUGE #and wifi SUCKS today and im just rlly not in a good place #i love him a lot though #ugh whatever ignore it im going to cry of frustration anyway so who cares!!!! #anyways you know we always talk about arthurs character inconsistencies #but i think we dont appreciate THIS consistency NEARLY enough #like if arthur pendragons character is gonna do one thing its care abt ppl😫 #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlinedit #idk #long post #REALLY LONG POST

[kristailine]

Kazujun Headcanon Time part idk anymore (ive shared so many headcanons bc i think about them 23/6)

Kazuya closes his eyes and ignores Jun whenever he's flustered of her presence, especially with her actions.

He's never let any woman get that close to him, so when he and Jun have developed their relationship into something more than "acquaintances", Jun has felt much more comfortable being more intimate with how she approaches Kaz physically, to which Kaz finds it new and somewhat uncomfortable because he feels weird (by weird, he's experiencing butterflies for the first time in his life because he's never had butterflies in his stomach before Jun, so the feeling of being flustered is new to him)

Jun could be like fixing Kazuya's necktie, and it would fluster the hell out of Kazuya for having her do something so "married couple"-like behavior. He would shut his eyes close for the whole duration of Jun fixing his tie, because maybe if he couldn't see Jun, he would stop having this weird feeling inside of him.

Jun, being very observant, has already picked up this habit of Kaz. So whenever she sees him with his eyes shut after she does something that's a little bit sweet to Kaz, she would feel a sense of accomplishment for being able to fluster a grumpy guy like Kaz. Secretly, she also finds it very cute and adorable, but she would never admit it out loud.

#kazujunhcbykrista #IMAGINE KAS WITH HIS CHEEKS GOING PINK WITH HIS EYES CLOSED AND WITH HIS SILLY BUSHY BROWS SNITCHED TOGETHER WHILE HIS ARMS ARE CROSSED #ITS SO SILLY AND I CANT #BUT ITS SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY LOL #i think i kinda made them act like this in one of my fics i literally cant remember anymore #but idk i think this is just so cute i need this to be canon hihihi #kazjun #kazujun #kazuya x jun #jun kazama #kazuya mishima #mishima kazuya #kazama jun

[sharp-tooths]

Thinking about the fact that Knives loved western movies as a kid and liked the idea of gunslingers and how after the crash he took the gun from a man he killed and gave it to vash, not only because he wanted his brother to protect himself and join him in killing humans, but because he thought gunslingers were cool. He gave Vash a gun cause he thought having his brother be a gunslinger on a desert planet would be cool. Just like a western movie.

Im dying

#trigun stampede #millions knives #vash the stampede #im just gonna go lie on the floor and cry for a while again #kni at the ripe old age of maybe 7 years old: #my names going to be millions knives #and my brother is going to be a cool gunslinger #and were going to protect our people and kill all of humanity! #im sobbing #on one hand i can see why vash would still so readily forgive him despite the things hes done that alot of ppl would find irredeemable #but also. kni has already been so blindingly consumed by his fear fuled rage #that hes come full circle and doesnt realize hes committed the very same acts he condemns humans for doing to plants #on the very people he was trying to protect #his brother and all the remaining dependent plants #and i personally think the way he went about it was so much more unforgivable and horrific #cause what the ever loving FUCK that was in episode 11 makes me want to puke #and in the beginning of episode 12 i actually almost did #i didnt mean to start ranting in the tags i just have FEELINGS #trigun stampede spoilers

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ugh. im so tried. why is crying so exhausting? i havent done anything. this is bullshit #we went from a slow motion breakdown to full on freakout meltdown today #luckily no one was around in the lab this morning bc i couldnt stop crying #so i went to the counseling center and made myself their problem #canceled my committee meeting. which everyone tells me is fine. its all fine #think about going home for a while they say. maybe tell ur dad ur having a bad time thry say #but im so tired. and i dont kno what to do and its all falling apart #i just feel like im brushing up against the limits of what i can do intellectually and its like well where do i go from here? #what do i do with my old data? how do i move my project forward? whats the point of any of this? #why did i put myself in this position? would taking a leave even help? id still have to come back to the same mess #its just so frustrating bc theres no solution ill find satisfying. everything just sucks. #idk what my advisor even told my committee. bc we were supposed to meet tomorrow morning. ugh. it would have been so bad #it also sucks bc im so drained that i can just feel my own weight when im trying to talk to ppl #like u kno when ur being a wet blanket but u dont kno how to fix it. like srry my vibes r wretched. maybe im just stuck like this #i dunno. my dad invited us home for a week in july and also plans to come out to visit me in August. but that seems like a long time away #i dunno what im gonna do. what a disaster #unrelated

[sensazioneultra]

i love my mum and i love my cat but he's clearly not gonna get better which we knew would be the case it was only a matter of (very little) time but my mum keeps trying to buy him new different food to get him to eat and again i love them but this is breaking my heart

#he looks so so sick.. #i don't know if there's any point in trying to get him to feel better #when we know it's terminal and they gave him 35 days over 35 days ago #obviously the number is not exact i know that but it is a fact that he's so so sick #and it breaks my heart to see him like this bc if he's pain i really don't think it's good to #keep him around for our own selfish reasons #i wish so badly we could enjoy his presence for longer #but... it's. idk. it might be cruel. if he's in pain it's cruel to not end his suffering #i understand my mum i really do i was the same with our previous cat when she got old and was clearly not gonna last #and in the end i regretted waiting til it happened naturally bc i know i just prolonged her suffering #which was entirely for selfish reasons bc there was no way she'd get better #and it's the same for ripy now. it hurts so so bad i'm crying my eyes out rn #but i can only imagine how much HE is hurting. and what is the point when we know there's no chance #for him to get better #he might die later but having been in more pain for longer. why should we do that to him when he could die as peacefully as #possible with us by his side and so he can rest wherever good sweet cats go after death #idk. i feel so sad. and im here alone crying while church bells ring. and while everything feels meaningless

[funky-dealer]

Hey. Critter

WHHAHARRR

#TIP. I AM SO FUCKING MAD #IM NOT ACTUALLY MAD IM JUST #WAAAUUUUGGHHG (OVERCOME WITH EMOTION #I DIDNT THINK ANYONE WOULD ACTUALLY DRAW HER. NOW I HAVE TO PAY YOU 1 MILLION DOLLAR #WWAAUUUUGGGH WUUAGG WAIT FUCKKKKK I CANT POST YET I HAVE TO COMPLIMENT YOUR ART #AAUGH IM CRUNCHING MY SCREEN YIU DREW HER SO. DDDAAAWWGWGHH❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #PUNCHING YOU FOREVER. PUNCHIG YOU FOREVER #ETERNAL AIDAN BEATING (ITS LIKE ETERNAL WARIO HOCKEY EXCEPT IM CRYING WHILE IT HAPPENS #UUAHAHHHUHGGHHHHHH GGGRRRRRRRRRR TYTYTYYYYYYYY UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #im a SAD WET BEAST RN🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺YOU CAUGHT ME WITH MY HAIR SOAKED DROOPING OVER MY FACE #🦖←LOOK GUYS ITS LITERALLY FUCKIGN HER.................CANYOU BELEIVE IT #UEUEUEUEUEUE SOUNDS OF CRYING #SORRY FOR THE 16 MILLION TAGS IM JUST SO . #im never going to recover from this IM NEVER GONNA RECOVER. LOOK WHAT YOU DID TONME

[ouchhq]

>:(

#i need to vent a little im sorry pls ignore this if u are bothered by my thoughts #SH tw !!!!!! #this morning i was supposed to have my weekly therapy session but i had to cancel bc my mom got covid and obviously stayed home from work #and i do online therapy and i didnt feel comfortable doing it with my mom around but i really needed to do it tbh #and then my professor replied to my email with all of the things ive been working on since august and didnt say anything about the material #he just asked to call me on the phone tomorrow and i started to spiral…. like Spiral with a capital s #even now thinking about it my stomach sinks bc i have this feeling that his feedback is going to be negative and i just know my #barely existent self esteem is going to break and idk what im gonna do with myself then #this afternoon while i was spiraling all i wanted to do was /hurt/ myself. i kept thinking that i wasnt good enough and i had done a #horrible job.. so bad that he couldnt even tell me by email but needed to do it on the phone and i felt like throwing up and i couldnt get #/​that/ thought out of my head and i could only cry #and all of this not even actually knowing what my professors feed back is going to be because this is just all in my head #but i was talking to my school friends and they were like oh its gonna be fine even if he doesnt like it u can still put the project in ur #portfolio hes not even our professor anymore and so on #and i kept saying that i knew that but i just could not handle that sort of feedback and rejection mentally #i was telling them that i knew i would crumble if i got real negative feedback and i was terrified of that and they just couldnt get it and #idk it made me feel really lonely #im a bit calmer now but i feel so depressed #i am really anticipating something that will hurt really bad

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit #i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it #very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically #some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like #AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE #and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to #and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded #it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me #i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me #and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him #away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt #feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like #aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family #hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs #his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage #and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them #HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM #and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is #but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK #and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way #or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he #doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’ #yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them

[pepprs]

discovered miah_pie on t*ktok (<- i don’t have one btw i just stumbled upon her bc someone i follow on ig talked abt her) and her videos make me want to cry so bad. 24 year old dependent moment

#purrs #i went to a clothing store today to try to get new work shoes and pants bc the one pair i have of each literally have holes in them and are #falling the fuck apart on my body and it was a HORRIBLE experience largely bc i think everybody in town was out shopping for back to school #so it was super crowded and there were lots of screaming kids and it was extremely stressful + my dad got into a mini car accident while i w #was in the store (he was / is completely fine thankfully but the car is not which is so awesome 😍😍😍😍😍) and i was just so stressed and #overstimulated but also like… nothing fits me bc im so short lol. but anyway it was so horrible i was on the verge of starting to cry in the #store and then i came home empty handed and my mom got super pissed at me for… needing to go to the store / being the reason we were out lol #and then finding miah pie and her videos are all about making trips to the store SO much fun and buying little treats and saying yessir and #OHHHHHH MYYYYY and just finding the joy in smth that can be so stressful and unpleasant… it makes me want to cry happy and sad tears at the #same time like i want that soooo bad and i can’t do it fully yet but i want it. need it. fuck my stupid baka life #anyways im gonna start saying the stuff she says just to make myself feel better even when im not at a store. yessir! OHHHHHH MYYYYYY. #acquired. don’t mind if i diddly dooooo! #also btw i am not a dependent except for the ways i am a dependent. hope that helps 🫶🏻 #the problem is really that i don’t have a car or a license and also that my mom throws a fit every time i need / want to get driving #practice bc it’s never a good time so. lol 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 me doing drivers ed this summer was a fucking joke i forget literally everything i #learned and have only been behind the wheel 3 times and none of them have actually counted bc im just developing basic motor skills #(literally). fmlllll im never getting out of here who am i kidding 🤪 #delete later

[the-kipsabian]

if anyone needs me for a moment no you dont

#i need to curl up in the darkness of my bedroom for a while and just cry #its all so fucking meaningless. i really dont know what im doing here anymore #i just really. really dont know #i made myself so anxious just thinking about writing cause its so pointless so.. i genuinely think im losing it #my one fleeting thing of happiness that is #i dont know. im gonna go cry now #night is an absolute mess on main

[dyk3leepuppy]

me if thinking abt the most kinky depraved filthy tickle scenarios was illegal

#like why can’t i stop thinking abt being tickled to hysterics and begging for mercy only to get ignored #even better have them mock you and coo at you while you’re hysterical with laughter and babbling nonsense 🤣 #idk been getting off to the idea of being tickled till i pee myself recently. like mean absolutely sadistic ler… #…tickling u harder when u beg for a break bc u can’t take it or ur like omg im gonna pee and they just KEEP GOING. 😵‍💫 #like that’s so HUMILIATING 😭😭😭😭.and then they add to it by mocking you/making fun of you for that. 😭😭😭 #me when my thing for humiliation and tickling come together to form the most depraved filthy scenarios #i’m fucking insane . #i’m crazy #😞😞😞😭😭😭😭i wanna be tickled to fucking tears PLEASEEEEE i just wanna be crying and begging for mercy only to have them laugh in my face. #.like a fucking sadist and just keep going or maybe even tickle harder 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 as they tease u with the cruelest shit ever .

[bo0zey]

anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol

#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird #this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY #i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it #whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo #i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work #imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞 #real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason #like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me #ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS??? #ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like #why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean #i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything #i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed #i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame #i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol #also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually #cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj #i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle #i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore #i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable #ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao #im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed #ramblings #shut up cianna

[scattered-winter]

horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh

#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago #and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember) #and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him #do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao #and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that #everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it. #and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life #and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years. #sigh. anyway. #im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet #and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3 #just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too????? #we're all grieving. i aint special. #i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl #thats what it looks like we're doing tonight #im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out #and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant. #not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been . #a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone. #sigh. im tired i need to go to bed #winter speaks #personal

[kimjiwoong]

I went on a random walk around my neighbourhood and I realized a few minutes in that I was accidentally taking the route I always took with my dog and now I'm literally heartbroken all over again lmao

#how does one go through the grief of losing a pet? i quite simply don't know #i was very young when we got our first dog and very young when she passed away so i think losing lola truly feels like #my first time experiencing something like this #she spent 14 years with me and now it's like my parents leave and im home alone and im actually really alone #how can u spend 14 years with a living creature and then forget her just like that #like i remember the morning she passed i had to go to work??? girl i wanted to cry and cry and cry. not teach the fucking to be verb #god it feels nice to say it tho #miss her soooo much #i never knew u could form bonds like this w animals until her #sweet girl #sigh ANYWAYS #gonna go have some mate outside while there's still some sunlight #rose.txt

[gec2unow]

you ever go to work sloppy style scared and you're like damn im gonna be real i think today is going to be Hard To Get Through with these mental illness symptoms! and then ur boss is like hey good news ur gonna be doing the samples all day today! and ur like uh oh i don't know if i can handle hours and hours of being super social with custies today im a bit too mentally ill for that! but u suck it up and u do it and ur doing it and ur like damn i think i need to go to the back for a bit i fucking feel like im about to throw up and start hyperventilating, and then when u go to the back u quick check ur phone and ur mom texted u that ur childhood dog just suddenly passed away . anyways i went out sobbing and told my boss i had to leave and here we are !

#he was very nice about it he's nice and fair but i feel soooo bad about it #idk this dog started having health issues a while ago but she was doing so well and we all thought she had more time. #i really thought we had years left. #her name was bambie. she was one of the sweetest dogs ive ever met. we got her when i was 15. #im gonna go over and visit my mom that was her baby :(( i think she loved bambie as much as she loves me and my siblings #sorry not to cry post on main im just really fucking sad #personal