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candlestickbud · 3 years

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Worthy of Betrayal Pt.1

Howzer x Jedi!GN:Reader [Ep.11 Spoilers]

Description: After the bad batch drop off the weapons to a client of Cid’s, she calls them in for a favor and asks them to help some royal Twi’leks on Ryloth.

Warnings/Notes: I'm predicting that this fic will have 5 parts. Possible smut in the future. Mentions of guns and child kidnapping, minor cussing. Sorry if the story is a little off, I was in a rush to finish. Hope you still like it though!

“What do you mean we have to go back!”

Hunter rose his voice at Cid from the comms on the ship. We were on our way back to Ord Mantel after dropping off weapons to some Twi’leks, a client of Cids. As they were already halfway to the destination, Cid called up the batch to inform us that we had to go back, but this time the location was on Ryloth.

“Hey, you still owe me, remember? Now tell goggles over there to get to Ryloth. I need you to rescue this kid named Hera Syndula, the twi’leks, her parents run Ryloth so we’ll be getting some big bucks, so I suggest you get moving, got that?”

Hunter sighed, “Mind telling us what we have to do to get out of dept?”

“Tell you what, let's say you don't mess this up, and you'll be out of debt. Just fell the big guy to ease up on the mantel mix, wouldya, ” Cid said before hanging up.

Hunter rubbed his face trying to shake off his tiredness.

“What's the word, Sargent, ” Wrecker asked.

“Tell Tech to relocate the route to Ryloth. We have another mission, but this is a mission we can't mess up. We need to save some senators kid.”

“Another senator? They aren't a separatist, are they? There's no way-”

“I didn't ask, and either way we have to take this job to get us out of that debt, ” Hunter cut off Echo, “and besides it's not a senator, just their kid.”

Echo glared at Hunter, “Well you should understand why I plan to not work with separatists, ” he said pointing his cybernetic socket arm at Hunter.

“Wait so who are we saving, ” Omega asked from her room.

Hunter pushed his way past Echo to talk to Omega, hearing Echo scoff as he walked away.

“That kid from earlier,” Hunter said softly.

“Hera? I knew she was in trouble! How can I help,” Onega exclaimed excitedly?

“I’ll let up know once we land. The empire will be there based on what that client said earlier. That's what they needed those weapons for.”

“That could mean that Crosshair would be there, ” Tech yelled from the piloting seat.

“Good! We need to talk some sense into him, get him home, ” Wrecker said.

“I don't think he wants to come home, ” Hunter said coldly.

“Doesn't matter, we need to get him back and remove his chip or whatever.”

Hunter opener his mouth to say something back, but instead walked away to the pilot's seat.

“We should at least try to save him, ” you said sternly.

“Cant save someone that doesn't want to be saved, ” Hunter barked back.

“In case to haven't noticed, we don't know what he wants. That chip is controlling him!”

“I agree with Y/N, ” Wrecker barged in.

“That's not the mission.”

•••

Howzer took off his helmet to ruffle his hair. It was a humid night on the planet of Ryloth, and he's been running around trying to capture a child named Hera with a squad of clone troopers.

“Hey boss, do we stun her or shoot.”

“Stun! She's a child, has some empathy. Besides, I'm sure they want her alive, otherwise, we have no leverage over Cham.”

“You got it, captain.”

There was silence as the squad walked through the place, flashlight in hands and visors on night vision mode as they searched for the child. This seemed very wrong to Howzer. What would the empire want with a child if they already have Cham? Leverage, but for what? They don't plan on hurting the kid, do they?

“What do you think they'll do with the kid, ” Howzer asked his squad.

“Who cared, she's a traitor to the empire. She's lucky she isn't dead yet. Speaking of traitors, don't we have orders to kill whoever betrays the empire?”

“What? That's ridiculous, we should just imprison them, and still, she's a child, soldier. We aren't killing her, ” Howzer scoffed.

The squad quietly whispered to each other. Suddenly a ship hovered over them, landing a few feet behind where they were.

“Stay cautious, that could be their backup.”

“Shoot to kill or stun, ” a trooper asked.

“Stun. I won't tell you again, ” Howser said through gritted teeth.

“Whatever you say, Captain, ” the trooper said with an annoyed tone.

Howzer placed his helmet back onto his head, getting his gun ready and placing it in stun mode.

“I have eyes on them!”

The troopers began shooting blindly at a group of troopers, a Jedi standing in front of then reflecting the shots with a child behind them.

“Hold your fire, ” Howzer exclaimed.

The troopers ignore him.

“I said, hold your fire!”

The troopers looked at each other in confusion and disgust.

“They're wanted by the empire! We need to kill them, they're traitors.”

The troopers began shooting live rounds at the squad.

“But they have a child with them! Stop!”

Howzer put his gun in the gun holder that held itself on his waist, pushing a trooper back. One by one, the trooper squad of 5 became the squad of 2.

“You're not fit enough to be Captain! You're a trait of to the empire! We have to kill them, now!”

“No! This is wrong and you know it! Snap out of it how can you not see that this is wrong, ” Howzer said before being pushed to the ground by Hunter.

“See what you did! You're a traitor, ” the trooper said trying to shake out of Wrecker's grasp.

“You, be quiet, ” you yelled at the trooper.

You walked up to Howzer, cocking your head to the side slightly.

“Hunter, there's something wrong with his chip.”

Hunter looked up at you, scrunching his eyebrows together, “How can you be so sure?”

“He seems...different I can feel it.”

Hunter looked at you and then back ah Howzer, grabbed him by the shoulders, and pushed him up to his feet. You walked towards Howzer and removed his helmet, eyes widening, surprised with how attractive the clone was. You looked at him, placing your hands on his face, inspecting him. Howzer attempted to back off, but Hunter held him in place. He flinched as you placed a hand near the left side of his head, closing your eyes as you felt his chip through the force. You opened your eyes, staring into his eyes, only for him to nervously look away.

“He has his chip, but it's damaged, ” you looked at Hunter as if you were asked for permission.

“Fine. You deal with him. We cat have him running back to the empire to inform them of our arrival. We can't have any attention, this is a stealth mission. We need to focus on saving the kid, ” Hunter said, shoving Howzer towards you.

You caught Howzer and placed your lightsaber close to his face, only for him to flinch against it, his head laying on your shoulder, “Try anything stupid and I'll kill you on sight, got that?”

“I thought that wasn't the Jedi way, ” he said with caution.

You retracted your saber and placed it back on your holders, “There is no Jedi way, ” you scoffed, putting his helmet back on. You knew it would possibly be a distraction to you.

“What do I do with him, ” Wrecker asked, picking up the trooper he held captive.

“Woah, ” the trooper yelped.

Hunter looked at Howzer and then the trooper.

“His chip is active,” you said.

Hunter paused for a second in thought, “Stun him. Look, we’ll look over here, you and Omega look over there, that way we’ll have a better chance of finding the kid.”

“You got it. Cmon, Omega, let's get ahead of them. I think Hera will be pleased to see that you're the one rescuing her, ” you said as you pushed Howzer forward, grabbing Omega’s hand as you led her away, Hunter stunning the clone from behind.

You and Omega stared at Howzer as you walked through the gravel trail.

“Uhm...Why do you two keep starring at me,” he asked.

“To make sure you don't try anything funny, ” you lied.

“Your chip isn't working. That's pretty rare for a clone, ” Omega explained.

“What is this chip that you guys keep talking about?”

You sighed, ” Well, the clones, you included, have these chips that were implanted in you when you were, I think a stage 1 embryo?”

“Stage 2,” Omega corrected.

You chuckled, “A stage 2 embryo, and these chips were implanted in you by the Emperor to have you murder the Jedi. Nearly all of them were killed during order 66. I survived it by chance.”

“Oh…so that’s what that was. I’m sorry.”

You looked at Howzer in confusion, “W-What?”

“I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard to go through I had no idea. When I was out on a mission, we were working with a Jedi and just out of no where, everyone aimed their blasters at the General. They had told us they were traitors to the republic, betrayed the Chancellor.”

“Yeah, that’s because we found out he betrayed us. He was working with Count Dooku.”

Howzer shook his head in disappointment, “You must hate us then, clones.”

You looked at Howzer, sighing as you let go of his shoulder, “No, I don’t. The clones, it’s not their fault, what they did. They’re all being controlled by these chips, being controlled by the empire. I made my peace with the clones once I got informed of this by the batch.”

Howzer walked by your side, “So those troops back there, their chips are also defected?”

“They were, but we got help with removing them. Having the chips mean that’s you’re still a threat. They could activate at any time.”

“Why not stun me? Like him back there.”

You thought for a moment, “Just because your chip isn’t activated doesn’t mean your not with the empire. For all we know you could still be loyal to them. We didn’t wanna risk the possibility of activating your chip, and we couldn't have you go off to the empire.”

“Oh. What do you uh plan on doing with me once you find the kid?”

“If I’m being completely honest with you, I’m not sure.”

“Well, that’s reassuring,” he chuckled nervously.

He scratched the back of his neck, looking at you as if hesitant to ask a question.

“I can feel you looking at me. What is it?”

Howzer looked away, “U-Uhm I was just uh…” he stuttered, “Uhm, where were you? During order 66.”

You smiled at his struggle, a smile still placed on your face when he asked the question.

“I uh I was actually in my ship. It was on a mission I was in with my droid to Ord Mantel, I was supposed to get intel on this bounty Hunter I’ve been hunting down. My droid saved me from the clones.”

“Lucky you weren’t assigned with a squad.”

You chuckled, “Yeah really.”

You and Howzer heard rustling from a bush that was up ahead. Howzer got in front of you, trying to take a closer look.

“Come out! We know you're there,” Howzer yelled.

You grabbed Howzer’s shoulder, “Maybe you should keep it down. If it’s Hera, she could be scared since you are supposed to be hunting her down,” you rolled your eyes in his idiocy.

“Oh, uh, right, ” he backed up.

Howzer removed his helmet. He's very well aware that citizens are often scared of the armor rather than what's underneath it. You glanced and him in admiration until you heard the bush rustle again.

“Hera? It's me and Omega, remember? We were selling those weapons to your uncle, ” you said calmly.

Slowly peaking out from the bush, you saw Hera’s head, “Omega?”

Omega waved at her, “Hello,” she smiled.

Hera got out from the bush, “What are you doing here?”

“We’re here to rescue you.”

Hera looked at Howzer with wide eyes, “H-He’s”

“Not with the empire,” Howzer said confidently, “Not anymore that is.”

“They’ll kill you,” Hera said walking towards Howzer.

“Not unless they catch me,” He smiled, patting her head.

You smiled at his kind act, “Hunter, we found Hera. We’re on our way back,” you looked at Howzer, “What are we going to do with...,” you whispered into your commlink.

“Hey! I never got your name, ” you said nervously.

“Oh! Uh, the name’s Howzer, ” he smiled, “What about you?”

You chuckled, “In your dreams, pal.”

“What are we going to do with Howzer, the clone.”

You heard Hunter sigh into his commlink, “We’ll stun him when we leave. Take him back with you in case we get spotted.”

“Hunter, we can't just leave him here. Hera knows him, he could be useful to us.”

There was no reply.

“Hunter?”

“Yeah, ” he sighed, “I'm here. Look just get over here we’ll talk when you get back.”

You walked over to Howzer with a smirk on your face, “Lucky you, Hunter doesn't want to kill you, ” you swung your arm over his shoulders, “Now you're really fucked.”

Howzer looked at you like a confused dog, “What do you mean? What you think I can’t handle a couple of clones and a Jedi?”

You laughed, “We ain’t your typical squad,” you smirked.

He got in your face, “Try me. I’ve been with many squads. What’s so different about you guys?”

You inched closer to his face, “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

There was a pause until the both of you burst out laughing.

“Cmon, we gotta get back to them.”

“You got it, General.”

You stopped in your tracks, looking back at Howzer. You were going to say something but decided to let it go.

“Cmon girls. We have to get back to the ship.”

“Coming, ” they said laughing.

•••

“I never noticed how nice your hair is, ” you said ruffling Howzer’s hair.

He kindly swatted your hand away, “Thanks, ” he said while rolling his eyes.

You looked at his face, eyes scanning over his scars. You choose not to ask him about them. Not yet anyway. The girls whispered and giggles to each other throughout the walk to the marauder.

“What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing, ” they chuckled devilishly.

Both you and Howzer looked at them questionably, the at each other.

You shook your head, “Kids, huh?”

“Reminds me of my younger days, making fun of brothers for having a crush. Of course, that was before order 66. Good memories.”

The four of you continued to walk and began to see the ship, with Hunter sitting at the entrance of the ship.

“Took you long enough, ” he said as he got up, “We need to talk.”

You nodded, “Ladies, ” you smiled down at Omega and Hera, “into the ship. Omega show Hera our little secret since she’ll be with us for a bit.”

“Ooh! Good idea. Hera, follow me.”

The two children ran their way into the marauder, Howzer squatting down on the floor, patiently waiting for an invitation inside. Hunter grabbed you and pulled you off to the side, away from Howzer.

“Look I don't want to take him with us. He seems sketchy.”

You sighed and nodded in agreement, “Yes, I know but I'm sure he means well. I'll look after him but Hunter, something tells me that we can trust him. Howzer seems like a good guy. Hera seems to trust him and she knew him when he was working with her dad.”

Hunter looked at Howzer to see him awkwardly wave at him.

Hunter cursed, “Fine, but if anything and I mean anything, happens, he's off the ship.”

You nodded, giddily walking over to Howzer, then clapping your hand on his shoulder.

“What’re you doing just standing here like an idiot? C’mon,” you snickered.

“Well, excuse me for trying to be polite, ” he smiled, Hunter glaring him down as you all entered the ship.

#thebadbatch #howzer #captainhowzer #star wars clones are hot #star wars clones #captain howzer #Howzer x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars #tbb omega

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ruiyuki-archives · 4 years

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bnha + tdmm gundam AU

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Heavily inspired by Gundam SEED/Destiny

Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2018

BNHA MECHA/MILITARY/GUNDAM AU??? FT. TDMM + OTHERS.

JUST HEAR ME OUT OK:

idk when this is set but some sci-fi au where earth is at war w some enemy people and the military uses mechs

U.A. aka United Alliance is the military organization in charge of Earth's mechs

decades ago for idk.. WW III or something, pilots enlisted in U.A. piloting giant mechs (aka H.E.R.O.S. - “high efficiency robotic operating systems”) became protectors of citizens?? some shit like that.

the top pilots made a name for themselves were namely Toshinori Yagi piloting the TPHR-ALL MIGHT at #1 and #2 Todoroki Enji piloting the FLHR-ENDEAVOR

(Bonus: TPHR for "The People's HERO" and FLHR for, you guessed it, "Flame HERO" woooo)

but during the final mecha fight that subsequently ended WW III, Toshinori Yagi was declared MIA bc his mech crash landed on some coastal shore and by the time they found ALL MIGHT, the cockpit was empty and the pilot was gone

anyway fast forward >> U.A. has a cadet school and low and behold who do we find enrolled,,, aspiring young pilots Midoriya Izuku and Bakugou Katsuki

they both heard the heroic stories of pilot Toshinori and ALL MIGHT and woooo got into U.A.

also in U.A. ofc is Todoroki Shouto whos been groomed to be a mecha pilot since age 5 courtesy of Enji. D u h. (Enji's still piloting ENDEAVOR at this time but has it pretty set that Shouto will inherit piloting his mech)

aaand ofc we get the rest of class 1A in U.A. cadet school for various reasons

ANYWAY im not going into cadet school days bc thats boring but lets say ofc top of the class pilots are Izuku Bakugou and Todoroki that aces all the flight simulations blah blah blah

Also Toshinori was found to be declared MIA to the public but actually whoop. He's at U.A. as one of the boardmembers bc ofc that’s how im making the story work. Idk he was too injured and has too much ptsd that he cant pilot anymore and is looking for the next pilot to inherit ALL MIGHT (which is fixed up by now)

NOW INTO THE ACTUAL MEAT OF THE STORY - NEW WAR (WW4? I GUESS)

CADET KIDS ARE NO LONGER CADETS. THEYRE FULL FLEDGED PILOTS NOW AND ARE THROWN INTO THE NEXT WAR BC THAT WAS PART OF WHAT THEY SIGNED UP FOR. Whos the enemy? LoV ofc but i dont have a cool name for them yet LMAOOOO

K SO new war. New battle cruisers. New mechs yayayya

U.A. has 2 new battle cruisers: Sirius A and Sirius B, designated (1-A and 1-B DUH)and duh, the crew of 1-A and 1-B is gonna be classes respectively

1-A, Aizawa is captain of the ship LMAOOOO Momo's the crew's battle analyst on comms + nav, Iida takes the helm, idk whos gonna be on weaponry yet but I kinda wanna make it Tokoyami

Izuku Bakugou and Todoroki are mecha pilots ofc

they have custom made mechs that were made for them for mostly training so the models are pretty basic compared to ALL MIGHT and ENDEAVOR but eh they do the job.

I'm doing the hero name thing again so Izuku pilots OAHR-DEKU, Todo pilots HCHR-SHOUTO and Bakugou pilots.... EXHR-K.E.KILL

bc they’re custom they got to name the mechs so friggin Bakugou. I tried LMAO (if someone can guess the acronyms, bonus points)

also hey! they have a squadron of fighter jet pilots and hey! Its the Bakusquad!!!

each of the fighters have their own names too so you guessed it, their hero namessss ha..ha..ha..ha..

OKAY more people: Hatsume Mei's their engineer. She basically built the mechs and works under Powerloader that built the cruiser ships

Gran Torino built the fighter jets lol

uhh Tsuyu's probably the crew's nurse in the infirmary or smth. Chiyo is the head military doctor back at the U.A. base??? idk

Nedzu head of U.A. Self explanatory.

Fuyumi and Natsuo are there too!!! Fuyumi's part of the cadet teaching staff. Natsuo's a fighter pilot of another fleet

Anyway, TODOMOMO IN THIS AU

they met in cadet training. Momo was working towards being an analyst anyway so naturally they paired up for training exercises as comm + pilot top of the class. Aizawa's first choices when choosing who to enlist in for the 1-A crew

every time Shouto deploys for a fight Momo's hypervigilant in keeping tabs on him in the air bc honestly the worst is seeing a laserbeam aiming for his mech's cockpit

I mean she keeps tabs on Deku and Bakugou too but. y’know she has a bias loool

and god forbid if anything were to happen to Shouto bc the worse would be for him to be MIA or KIA bc this is a war. People lose their lives. She knows its what they signed up for but if she can help him avoid it, she will

but sometimes it cant be helped. Especially since she’s navigating for the other pilots and the ship

it doesn’t help that Shouto's kinda reckless in his mech fights when they get too intense. sometimes he'll ignore his comms all together and when he does that half the time he comes out of his cockpit injured bc nuclear explosions. Recoil. Life threatening occupational hazard. D u h

Momo's basically crying by his bedside in the infirmary every time that happens

and THE ONE INSTANCE WHERE HE IS OFFICIALLY DECLARED MIA, Momo loses it

bc its his fight against the enemy mech CRHR-DABI. Its in the midst of the enemy's unexpected assault. and the 1A and 1B are taking heavy fire. So she has to focus on Aizawa's orders. and Shouto is getting out range that she cant keep tabs on him. and he's ignoring her comms. so by the end of it, by the time the enemy ships and mechs retreat, HCHR-SHOUTO is g o n e

the dust clears up. Its raining. The fighting's stopped. All of the enemy forces has retreated so U.A. calls their pilots to retreat

2 of their 3 mechs have returned to the ship except for SHOUTO. And Momo's frantically trying to get through to him. But nothing.

Aizawa orders her to stop trying. they'll send out a search team to investigate his last known location after everyone rests. Repairs to 1A and the mechs need to be made. They have to make haste, but for now, rest.

all the logistical post-battle crap is cared for first. Status reports, repair agenda, the next battle plan. The search team is sent out.

nothing.

they keep looking.

nothing for days.

keep looking.

they find it. HCHR-SHOUTO in a lake torn to shambles. The cockpit cut open. Blood stains trail out toward the forest it crashed in but no pilot nearby. (Bc hell ya im gonna recycle tropes loool)

Todoroki Shouto declared missing in action.

Momo gets the update and she’s devastated

but theres no time to mourn. A second enemy attack.

the Orion fleet is called in. ENDEAVOR's fleet.

and there he is. that mech. CRHR-DABI. again.

DABI VS ENDEAVOR wooooooooooooo

but this time its nearby the city. Civilians need to be evacuated. WGHR-HAWKS assists in protecting the city as much as possible.

but yup ENDEAVOR gets destroyed too. Enji comes out of his cockpit in critical condition. and the enemy retreats again.

more aftermath. More repairing, more strategies, more recovering the injured. Its a war after all.

U.A. works on building a new mech. ENDEAVOR #2. But Enji has to officially retire from piloting due to his head injury.

and his successor is missing.

there is no pilot.

that is until Shouto shows up again!!!!

he has new scar on the left side of his face.

he saw ENDEAVOR's fight.

he’s alive. He’s come back. And he's out to take down DABI.and you bet he made his dramatic reappearance like:

Aizawa, at a battle meeting with Momo, Nedzu, Toshinori and other UA officials: "Tell me Nedzu. what choices do we have? Enji is compromised. His successor is missing. We're out of pilots. Who’s going to pilot the second ENDEAVOR?"

Todo, walking casually through the door: "I will."

After thoughts:

hi yes pls imagine all the pilots in skin tight pilot suits and helmets bc HAHAHHAA NGL THAT WAS THE 5% MOTIVATION OF ME COMING UP WITH THIS AU 👀

also momo in a military uniform 👀

the mechs look like their hero uniforms. OAHR-DEKU is green & white in colour. EXHR-K.E.KILL is black & orange. HCHR-SHOUTO is red blue silver.

TPHR-ALL MIGHT is gold & royal blue. FLHR-ENDEAVOR is blue red and orange.

CRHR-DABI is grey and purple and is piloted by Touya who else would it be

the fleet that i said Natsuo was a part of is the Orion fleet.. Enji's fleet

now that I think about it, Aoyama is probably the designer behind the pilot suits

Shouto names the 2nd ENDEAVOR mech HCHR-REI after his mom

his mom is a civilian and is very much alive kthx Im not pulling some EVA shit here ok

> bonus tdmm mecha NSFW

> archives masterpost

#todomomo #todoroki shouto #momo yaoyorozu #ruiyukis unfinished aus #IDK man just take it #this was from when i finished vld s7 and gave me mecha au vibes #things that wouldnt leave me alone

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nightowlgunner · 3 years

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Her

It was like June 2020 when I started playing with Kristine. That was also the time na she got laid off so we got the chance na magkalaro sa game full time. It was also the time na, I slowly opened up to her. Because I have strong walls eh, I do not let people come in my life easily. Since Kristine looks sincere and a listener to me, I gave her the way to get in. I talk about my rants about how my day goes and my relationship status with Joan. There is something about her that makes me want to know her more. There are many things na napagkakasunduan namin that leads to laughing and feeling na magaan lang kausap. I also liked that she is interested in the Game that I am playing, We shared things from the moment she started playing pc games back then, her ex gf's, her dramas in life, her fam, her girlfriend but not too much of it. She shares her problem too, the same goes with me.

Back then, I got curious about Kristine because of the stories that I have heard from Joan about her and her ex-gf and the toxicity of her relationship with Rose.

I admit she got my sympathy. Reminded me of my past relationship and how she handled it. Later on, whenever Kristine goes back here in Manila for a vacation, she always invites us. So I have no choice but to go with Joan though I am way too shy na makihalubilo sa mga tao.

By the first time that I met Kristine she was with her ex-gf Siena. There was nothing special or any thing that I felt. I was just nervous meeting her. Idk. Because I feel like she is intimidating. It was just a stage of knowing her, but she was nice naman. That time I remember Joan blocked her on my fb friend's list because of some reasons that i am not sure of, like Jealousy. Joan is always jealous which make me feel like hindi ako katiwa tiwalang tao. Lol. Grabe lang. And since then, Kristine unblocked me.

Way back 2018, I casually message her, like saying Hi, Hello, a little update of my day, and a little sharing of how me and Joan is doing.

I remember that it was also the time that she is trying to open up about her problems with Siena and so i made a GC where me, Joan and tine are messaging so she will not think too much back in Dubai.

I think she was on the verge of breaking up with Siena?

I have work back then so our exchange of messages was not that constant.

Joan used to rant at Kristine about me and how our life have been, which I do not like. Kasi nahihiya ako na kailangan pa ilabas ang mga bagay bagay na hindi naman dapat. There are times I feel uncomfortable kapag sinasabihan din ako ni Tine about our probs. But i just shrugged it off na lang.

It was also the time that I am focus to Joan too.

'Til Pandemic came. I am so happy may kalaro na ako sa game and that is her. Most of the time we play during afternoons, we also got the chance to try voice call each other on Messenger.

Then there goes the story, we talk a lot, shared a lot and our game time is way fun because she is a good team mate.

She was a good listener. And she understands me. Not all the time she is in favor of me, there are times she helps me understand things.

But most of the time, She makes me feel valid.

August came and Joan celebrated her birthday.

September and I celebrated mine, and I received a gift from her, it was a cake. She told me in Whatsapp that it was for me only. She just made it look like it was also for Joan since she never gave her any present last month.

October came, and I decided to make a surprise for her birthday, I'm talking about Kristine here. And so I did. We call her through VC in Messenger and I greeted her in my Facebook Gaming page, and made an appreciation post for her in my IG, which she really liked.

November came and I broke my thoughts to her. It was my nephew's birthday, Ethan.

I told her through Whatsapp that I liked her. That I liked her back then because of some reasons like, She went through hell in her relationships yet she stood up, etc. and my curiosity ate me.

I told her I might not feel uncomfortable talking to her because she already knew my secret that I like her. Then Kristine said, Bakit naman?

I asked her am I not likeable? She answered me, it's not that I am not likeable, she also said that she knew that I am a good person, and she reminded me that it was wrong. I told her I have no intentions of ruining her and Kamille. I just wanted her to know that I liked her, period.

Then we played a game, shared some secrets and stuff, because I started to trust her na.

Then as days goes by, we play constant and we talk mostly.

She even shared to me the time she went to sleep over with workmates because Kamille and her had an argument. We had our first Video Call in Messenger the next day before she go to work. Send me photos that I asked her too cause I am not seeing her lately.

We still talk even at her work hours, I listen to her work rants and stuff.

Then came an issue of this gaming headset that she wants to give me without malice as claimed by Kristine. Joan did not like the gesture. So, we talked secretly and talk about it. We agreed not to pursue the headset anymore.

December came and yah, we still play. I found out she resigned at her work.

I had an issue with a basher of my page, so I have to deactivate my gaming page and make an investigation who the hell is she.

So my attention draws closer to the game itself and also Kristine. and stop streaming for a while, She decided to install the Global server instead of using Garena for months because she is running out of VPN's to use for free anymore.

I felt like we have this kind of understanding where she gets me. And she agreed. But sometimes she sends me mixed signals.

I came to a point where I became confused.

I felt the need to share this because I am having these "time bomb" like feelings that if I cannot find a way to consult it to other person i am gonna explode and became clingy at her.

So I brought my classmate back in High School named Annarie, who prefers to call herself Pacsy. We play in Garena sometimes and we chat in Messenger too. I shared her my thoughts about Kristine. And I decide to her to be like the observant of the girl I liked if she feels the same way to me.

There are times that I felt jealous whenever there is a guy flirting with her on the game and sometimes she makes me feel that she is jealous too when I do the same.

And then came February, we had an argument.

My thoughts went confused, concern at Pacsy, and at the same time jealous.

Felt bad because we made a promise to each other to be open and not keep secrets. But things fail.

I broke down and cried.

Then came Joan who confronted Kristine, and Pacsy without me knowing it because I was asleep when Joan hacked my phone. I lost all of my phone datas and apps.

And I did not like it. Joan should have talked the proper way but instead choose to hysterical all the time.

She discovered that, there is something between me and Kristine based on our exchange of chats in Messenger.

Since I'm woman enough to admit my fault, I did.

I admit that I fell to Kristine.

Joan blocked her in my Messenger first.

And next is IG.

CODM became an exception.

It was a week of pain and confusion and discoveries.

I have discovered that She admits that she felt the same way for me.

That she doesn't want to lose me too.

That I am important to her, that she thinks of me by the time we lost our communication for like a week and more.

She was the one who initiated a contact.

I knew in my heart she wants it.

Let me just have a detailed flashback:

FEB 17: That night, we played, me, Pacsy and her. Dhanush invited me. I said sorry to them. And Kristine drop this line that it will be the last time she will talk to US. So I distant myself.

FEB 18: It was like 5pm, I called Pacs and I apologized to her of what happened and I cried because of what I feel in my situation. I told her, it was so hard to tell Joan that I fell in-love with her friend.

I asked Pacs not to update Kristine about me anymore because I wanna distant too.

FEB 18: 10:30 PM Pacsy texted me that Ktine asked her a favor to tell me that Joan is attacking her on messenger. I just said, it was noted.

FEB 19: Vertigo attacked me.

FEB 26: I received an XP rewards from Kristine. Just to be clear, giving away XP rewards is customized, you are the one who will choose who to give it to. And with that gesture, I knew in my heart she wants to talk and play with me. The past days Dhanush has been chatting me whenever he is playing with her. I told Dhanush I cant because she does not want to talk to me anymore and I wanna keep my distance too.

FEB 27-28

I played in CODM that night and I message her in the app, and invited her to play. Just a duo. At first she said, "Hi joan." then I told her, "Hindi nuh, hahaha." Then we play both off mic. And I notice she is messaging me while playing and says she misses me. "imy" I asked her "Kumusta" etc. At first I did not want to answer back I miss her too, because I am doubtful that it might be Kamille who's playing, but again, I knew it was her. So I told her, I miss this duo. Then she replied ":(".

Its like we had 2 games only, I said goodbye yet she tried to invite me again for another round for a squad with Dhanush but I have to leave the app and so I did.

FEB 29

We talked in CODM Global server app. We did not play instead we just talked. She told me she created an account in deviantart.com which is a website for artists, I actually have account there for art purposes. However she cant find my account there so I suggest how about Twitter. She opened up to me that day, as I remember, she apologized to me of the things she have done like how she cracked my secret to Joan etc. She said she does not normally say sorry to anyone yet she is doing it for me that day. I asked her if, "hindi ba kapani paniwala kapag ako ang nagsabi na mahal kita?"

She answered, she feels things the same way. She understands that my IG stories was for her mostly, and I claimed it. She told me she was scared to lose communication with me, that sometimes she feels like she's using another person just to get connected at me. And I get what she is saying. She said that she felt something for me.

I am sorry but the words we shared felt like... there is something.

Days have gone by, We played again. However I am hiding it.

I made a letter for her by using a website app. I told her everything there.

We also both made a Twitter account. Obviously, we missed each other.

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jamesholden · 6 years

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to love, to do, to hope for

I got this idea like TWO DAYS AGO and banged it out today because I’m sure the episode won’t cover it and I wanna let my fic be at LEAST a half hour out of date so here it is! Basically I messaged @thetruecaptain and asked her what she would think of Naomi going into Holden’s cabin and finding that he left the XO badge.

SPOILERS FOR 3.09 AND BEYOND but it may be out of date in like a half hour.

ENJOY! And please leave a review on AO3 if you’re so inclined!

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” ― Tom Bodett

Naomi hesitates outside the cabin door she once called her own. His. Theirs. She knows he isn’t in there. She’d found his goodbye message for the guys after securing them in the sick bay, while she was working to fix the comms.

It had been the first time she’d been able to look at his face for more than a painful, fleeting moment since he’d watched her walk away on Tycho. She’d looked back, given him a small smile that he returned before she’d let herself disappear into the crowd. His face had been all over the feeds since he brought Avasarala and Mao to Luna. But she couldn’t look at him. It had hurt too much. She’d been moving on, and shutting the pain away in a locked box, every thought of him and her old crew, had been the first step. It always is with her. She’d been afraid to even crack it open. Afraid to face how much she’d known she would miss them.

Watching him say goodbye to Amos and Alex, the only support he’d had through everything she’d been gone for… it blew the box wide open again. Amos and Alex are here. They’re alive and recovering. But it’s his absence that keeps her from finding any comfort in being home. The thing that’s missing. She misses him. She hadn’t let herself do so in months. Now months worth of missing him is hitting her at once. This is the next best thing. She takes a breath. Lets it out. And opens the door.

His cabin is nearly immaculate. Bed made in military crispness, strapped down for null-g. The only sign anyone lives there is the bulb of what must have been coffee that’s planted on his desk. She smiles despite herself. He’s always kept a clean cabin—when they hadn’t been throwing clothes around—and the sight of it, with a single sign of his insatiable thirst for coffee comforts her even as his absence weighs on her. She breathes and his familiar scent—and naturally, the scent of coffee—assures her. She’s home. Almost.

She steps in, letting the door close behind her. Shutting her in her own world the way she and he always used to. Together. He’d looked so tired in his message. Exhaustion he carries like he’s trying to hide it, that he’s probably been burying for months. She’s heard about the Roci’s legal troubles from more than just the news feeds. He’d looked sad, too. Regretful. It’s understandable, given what he’d gone off to do, but…

Naomi stands at the edge of his bed. A bunk she’d called theirs. She remembers the loneliness of her old bunk, after she’d told him what she’d done with the sample. Getting used to sleeping alone again. Adjusting to silences. To cold. And then she spent her last nights on the Roci with him, taking all of the things she’d missed and would miss while she could. On the Behemoth, she worked herself to near exhaustion, enough to sleep through the night without even thinking about him most nights.

Is that what he’d done? Spending as much time with the guys as he could in the day shift, finding things to do in the night shift that would keep him from bed or keep him asleep? Is that why he’d looked so tired?

She looks around, picturing him pacing, rummaging through his locker, shaving and washing his face in the head. Things she’d watched him do countless times from this very spot, lounging and teasing him or helping him talk through things. Or listening in on calls to his mother, Elise. Her gaze falls on the desk, where he’d go to work or make calls if she were still sleeping to avoid waking her. Something near the ceiling catches the light. Something she’d missed when she walked in. Naomi heels the controls on her boots and gently pushes herself up, catching the object in her hand. Another gentle push with her hand against the ceiling and she’s floating back down.

As soon as her boots click back on, anchoring her to the floor, she opens her hand to see what she’s found. Her heart stops when the realization hits her. The XO badge Captain McDonnell had saddled him with so long ago, back on the Cant. The badge she’d noticed him fiddling with when something weighs too heavily on his mind. When guilt is on his shoulders. When he feels responsible. She cups it in one hand, reaches out and brushes her fingertips against the cool metal with the other.

He’d left it. He’s carried it with him all this time, always in his pocket, always nearby at hand… and he’d left it. Her breath catches. Why? Had he left it for Alex or Amos as an ersatz Rocinante captain’s badge? A sign that he plans to return despite his message? Something for the Martians if they’d caught the Roci? Or… had he really thought he wasn’t coming back? Had he… left it as one of his only personal effects? To send to his mother? To send to her?

“Jim…” Naomi’s hand flies to cover her mouth, to stifle a sob. She’d given up everything to get back here. To them. To him. It had taken her days, fighting with Martians, nearly ending up like the slingshotter that had opened the gate. And he was long gone. May never come back. I never even got to say—

She takes a few long, deep breaths. Calms her heart. Her racing thoughts. Alex, in his pained daze, had smiled at her when he realized it was her. Muttered something about how “he knew you’d come back”. Alex couldn't have meant himself. He. Jim. Even when she thought she wouldn’t come back to the Roci, had no foreseeable plans to ever see them again outside of the feeds or in passing in some station… he held out hope she’d come back. Throughout her radio silence. Everything that happened to the Roci…

She’s here. She’s finally home. And he’s not. Even in null-g, the weight of that thought threatens to press her to the floor. All she has is this badge. This totem of responsibility for them. For his crew. For her crew. She closes her hand tight around the badge, edges digging into her palm.

“I came back, Jim. So you have to come back, too.”

He can’t hear her. Wherever he is. But if he could hold out hope for her as long as he had… she can easily do the same for him.

Until he cycles back through that airlock, she has a crew to take care of.

#the expanse #naomi nagata #nolden #noldenfic #expansefic #expanse s3 #expanse spoilers #shanfics

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baconpal · 7 years

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since ive been complaining about shit already tonight i might aswell just mention random crap that i’ve been thinking about, but ill spare your dash, feel free to read me rambling about absolutely random shit if you want

first some video game stuff i guess;

the good: I don’t have a switch and still definitely cannont justify getting one yet but woo boy does ARMS look good, i wanna try it, and also splatoon 2, i really liked splats when it was first out, and martyo kart, but its p spensive stuff and im a cheap-ass

the new thing code vein thing is simultaneous promising and incredibly boring to me, cus anime styled action game with the potential for cute girls to be wielding giant fucking weapons is like, my dream, and the boss designs looked pretty good, if a bit unrelated in the trailer, like the moose knight dude is fucking sick and i wanna use his armor, but then there’s also like, abyssal spear lady miku whose fucking cute, and they’re shown right after each other and it becomes a bit hard to follow, and the story seems to be just fucking dark souls “wah we go hollow and the world is a fuck”, i wish it wasnt that, cus dark souls alone made that setting overused, and while a modern-ish universe certainly sounds nice, it looks fucking bleak and they spend half the video in places that just look like bluer versions of DaS3 areas

the bad: so ive already complained about momodora 4, some people like it for some fucking reason but i dont, and now 5 is happening because they cant just make a new fucking series i guess, and it looks awful, like honestly horrid, its fucking shitty 3d when nobody asked for it, and it’s like, all the worst parts of something like dark souls, and none of the good parts and it angers me to no end that they keep dragging this sorta cute and okay free game series into the mud like this when they could make new games and try new things

the ugly: i never funded or thought about supporting indivisible because i had zero fun with the demo and i never really cared for any of the designs other than the redesigns of other characters from other games, and maybe the big fist girl, who didnt really fit in the style to begin with, but now they’re going and doing major redesigns and model updates that just look stupid and lifeless, like “wah wah diversity” drama aside, that cowboy guy went from a gritty, perfectly decent design to like, fucking nothing, he’s nothing now, i cant even identify him as something because he’s just nothing, and the entire cast seems to have been stretched up for no reason, and now a lot of the interestingly wide characters arent very interesting anymore, im not mad about it cus i never planned on getting it, but as an artist when i see artists take a very solid and nice character/design and just make it fucking awful, it makes me mad, especially cus i’ve seen some artists i used to know do it too, not starting drama or something it just seems pretty dumb to take things that are nice and people like and make them into different things when you could just make a new thing and have both

also uh like my friend showed me this jap band called uplift spice and at first i thought they were meh but i cant stop listening to them now its fucken cute rock stuff and it kills me

now art stuff. these are the things i really wanna talk about but they’re really just me problems so if you’ve already made it this far maybe you’ll care about this random shit

so like commissions have gone decently recently, not complaining about nobody wantin em or something, but for the longest time i’ve had people ask me about commissions, ask if there’s slots open or something, or even straight up say they intend to commission me, and then i’ll never fucking hear from them ever again ever, and like, if you just ask “hey got slots?” doesnt mean i expect you to actually get a comm, but it usually suggests there will atleast be a follow up response like “okay thanks but nevermind” or “ok cool ill be contacting you soon” and then actually following up on it, cus without any closure i just get stressed out thinking about why they never get back to me, are the prices too much? are they worried i won’t accept the comm? did they fucking forget i exist? did they get hit by a car? like even if you fucking told me “nevermind i dont want a comm you’re fucking SMELLY and i HATE YOU” i’d feel better cus at least i wouldnt worry about it for a week or something, none of the people reading this are likely the kinds of people who do this, most of them dont even follow me, but cmon man why you gotta make me worry about this shit

and last thing probably (hopefully jesus what am i even typing all this for) so like now that i’m doin comms more to support my own ass i’m really not pushing for requests in my inbox since a lot of them i’d never do anyway unless i got paid, but at the same time, i really liked drawin the ghost lady for that one ask, cus nobody is ever going to comm me for my own characters unless your one of my super good friends and youre just looking for an excuse to give me money, if you DID honestly comm me my OCs i’d fucking love you that’d be sick, but regardless i think that the only requests ill end up doing anymore are cute megalo1 and 2 ideas or stuff of my OCs, but i dont even know if you guys remember or like any of them, i actually have way more of them than i post because i like to design for fun sometimes, but like other than maybe neon idk if any of my OCs are know to any of my followers other than good friends, so idk if you guys would even care enough to request my OCs, but they’re mine and they make me happy so if you wanna see more of them or ask questions about them or anything, feel free to send me asks or messages or whatever, it’d be cool

so ye that’s all the shit im thinken about right now, if you actually could read all that you’re fucking weird and i like you

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thekaiden-blog · 7 years

Text

The Kid Machine (Part 1)

So this is my first attempt at a VLD fanfic and using Tumblr so if you have any tips or anything hit me up. I will be posting more parts later.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Lance pov

“Ha take that!” Before anyone could blink the last shot i took ended up causing the entire battleship to explode before the ion canon was able to take a shot at the castle.

“Yeah good job Lance! That was a great shot!” Shiro said as i was doing my victory dance.

“Of course that awesome of shot could only come from someone equally as awesome.” i gloated because for once i was actually happy with what i managed to do.

“Wait then how did you make that shot?” Keith said instantly making me stop my dance whilst thoughts i tried to keep away started to come back full force.

“Shut it mullet youre just jealous you couldnt pull off that shot.” I instantly shot back at him. Before he had a chance to reply Shiro told us to stop arguing and get back to the castle which was now landed on the planet below us called Kuros. Keith didnt bother saying something again but i did manage to hear him growl lowly.

As we stepped out of our lions the aliens who inhabit Kuros, kurens as they are called, started swarming us and started dragging us to the castle where the king and queen would be holding a party for us. This one little alien seemed to be only a child about 3 followed me around for a little bit before he attatched himself to my leg and went with me where ever i went. The kid seemed like he was getting bored so i pulled him up until he was on my shoulders then started dancing around to the music that was playing. Eventually a song came on the required a partner so i forced the closest person to me, who happened to be Keith, to dance with us. “Lance what are you doing!? I cant even dance!” Keith yelled as i pulled him with us while i started spinning us around to the beat. “Relax, Keith and follow my lead.” The dance that went with this song was very fast beat and kind of hard to follow at first but watching the other partners i managed to get into the rhythm of the dance since it was quite repetitive. Keith was against it at first and kept trying to pull away but i think the fact that the Kuren child was enjoying himself and laughing quite loud convinced keith to just go along with what was happening. The party was going on for quite a while and i was getting bored so i grabbed onto Keiths arm while setting down the tired Kuren child and started pulling keith up the stairs to go exploring. “What are you doing?” He asked as we turned a corner. “I am taking you exploring!” “Well why are you taking me exactly?” He questioned while slightly trying to pull his arm out of my grasp but i just tighted my hold while still dragging him with me. “Well because you were the closest person to me duh.” I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world but honestly i think it was the most obvious because thats how i roll. I heard him sigh but he let me pull him to where ever. im pretty sure he doesnt know his way around and if i know Keith he will just blame me if we get caught so itd be better for him to be with me for that to make sense. I found double doors at the end of the hall that just seemed to scream my name, ok not really i just liked how they were really pretty. why does a flipping door need to sparkle, like dude thats awesome! I pushed the doors open and walked in all excited and noticed the room was dark except for the light coming from huge windows on both sides of the room but there was only a tube looking machine in the center of the room. Confused i walked into the machine with keith still right behind me when i reached out to press a button but Keiths voice stopped me. “Maybe you shouldnt press that we dont know what itll do.” “Nah its okay its not like theyd have anything harmful where someone could just walk in and find it.” Before Keith could react i quickly pushed the button which caused the tube doors to close. We both started to bang on the glass but no one was around us and our helmet comms werent working in here so i turned back to the only button thats available to press. “Maybe theyll open if i pressed the button again?” “Nooo-” i cut Keith off mid sentance by hitting the button causing a red light to flash for a second. I quickly jumped back and grabbed Keith kinda scared on what was going to happen when the light stopped blinking and the door opened. We both basically threw ourselves out of the tube as quick as we could. The room was almost pitch black since the sun went down and no lights were on in the room when we suddenly heard Shiro talk. “Guys! Lance! Keith! Can you hear me where are you we are in front of the ship the parties over.” “Heyyy Shiro were here we can hear you we are on our way now.” I said really quick so he would stop yelling. “Yep we can hear you be there in a little bit.” Keith also replied at rhe same time. We both quickly let each other go then started walking out of the pitch black room when Keith spoke up again. “Lance stop screwing around let go of my leg.” “How the butts can i be touching you when im in front of you?” I asked really confused “Wait so that... Isnt you?” “Nope whatever that is isnt me.” I assured him. After those words were out of my mouth he quickly kicked whatever had a hold of his leg off of him then was about to take off running when i heard what sounded like crying from the direction the thing landed. Keith turned on the light in our suits while i moved toward the crying thing when the light reached the object i realized it was a human child who had short black hair and blue eyes lile my own he looked to be about 3 years old at least. “Keith you kicked a child a child do you hear me!” I exclaimed while picking up the child cuddling it to my chest softly repeating that its okay and he didnt mean it “Where the hell did it come from?” “Language Keith hes a child no cussing in from of him!” I took my eyes off Keith and turned my attention to the young boy in my arms. “Hello there. Can you tell me your name?” He looked at me confused then shrugged so i took a different approach. “Okay how about where are your parents little one?” At that his expression brightened and pointed to both keith and i. “Well obviously you and dad, papa!” After hearing that i froze and i could feel Keith tense up behind me. “I mean i can see it Keith he has your hair color and my eyes.” i said while turning so Keith could see the boy in my arms easier. “There is no way in hel-” I quickly interrupted him “no swearing in front of our child alright thats a bad word.” “Papa, dad said a bad word, is he mad at me? “The little boy was tearing up while looking up at me and i could feel my heart just breaking “No little one dads not mad at you are you keith?” I looked at him pointedly as if saying to go along with it. “Of course im not mad at you but i am sorry i kicked you i didnt realize that was you.” Keith said but im pretty sure hes warming up to our little angel already. Even though it is really weird knowing.i have a kid now and with Keith no less i dont mind because i already love our child even if the other parent is Keith. “Its alright dad im not mad at you as long as you arent mad at me!” The kid said smiling brightly. Keith pov After the kid who is apparently mine and ugh lances kid finished telling me hes not mad at me he smiled in a way that reminded me of Lance very big and very bright. “Papa i wanna go see dad can i please?” The kid started making what do you call them? Grabby hands at me wanting me to carry him. Lance just smiled at him and in that smile you could see that this kid was already the center of Lances world. “Of course little one off you go.” He started handing me the kid when we heard Shrio speak up so Lance froze with the child halfway to me. “Guys what is taking so long are you almost on your way?” “Uh yeah we ar- wait ok its ok i got you.” I tried answering but lance just thrusted the kid into my arms whilst i was mid sentance. "What who are you talking to?" “No dont touch that come on lets follow.... Yeah hes right there. I told the kid as Lance started walking away with my following before i remembered Shiro could here me and was probably even more confused then before “dont worry shiro we are on our way go on into the ship be there in a couple of minutes.” “Alright i guess if you say so…” was the only reply i got. You could hear the confusion in his voice before i turned the comms off and started chasing Lance to catch up to him when the kid spoke up “Papa wait up youre going to fall.” that was all it took for Lance to stop so we could catch up. “Sorry bought that bud i promise ill stay closer this time alright?” The kid seemed happy with that answer so he cuddled up to me making me smile. As we were about to enter the castle the kid muttered about where we were and how pretty the castle is.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #keith (voltron)#lance #keith kogane #kid machine #shiro #pidge #takashi shirogane #pidge gunderson #hunk garrett #hunk #klance #langst

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