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#i was just talking about how i feel very inspired bcs its my au so im the only one feeding myself

kimio7 · 10 months

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Fics that defined my love of f1 rpf

In celebration of literally nothing actually, i bring you a fic rec list of some of my favourites!!! very condensed (100+ -> 15 not even including tumblr fics) and im kinda sad i cant put all of my favs down lol but these are like my must reads!!

pleaseeee read these if u havent already its all amazing even if you dont vibe with the ships themselves

Strollonso:

silver platter by atwater | E | 9k

Literally the first fic I've ever read and basically got me into this fandom (and ship). Theyre both so unhinged and amazing it's a very fun read. Probably the best written lance ive every read.

Make Sound by antimonyandthyme | E | 1k

Makes me so fucking insane no notes this is just amazing oh my god

I make two grand an hour by Kaytheologie | E | 3k

Literally so hot and so amazing. lance is so bitchy in this one is great. amazing writing and amazing premise, literally inspired me to sketch out something right after (might finish it at some point)

Sewis:

provenance by ecorone | M | 18K

Literally the fic that introduced and made me fall in love with sewis. it wrecked me like i still havent recovered at all. the writing itself is just, i vibe to it so much

The Numbering at Bethlehem by Kaytheologie | E | 26k

might be one of my favourite fics, ever. what a masterpiece genuinely the environment is just so immersive and lush. ive reread it a dozen time and it never gets old

Brocedes:

you're my purple candy high by nothoughtsjustvibes | M | 5k

baby's first brocedes 🥹 started my love affair with emotional destruction. ruined me when i just first read it and ruined me every time after that. The writing is so profound and laid out their tragedy bare.

the torture of small talk with someone you used to love by finedae | T | 2k

baby's first nico fic!! it also destroyed me!! i think this is the one that made me join f1br bc i was just so obsessed with the writing i needed to know what the author was like lol.

3344:

special research vessels by ecorone | M | 15k

listen i thought this ship wouldve been more popular than it is LOL or at least not as hated. regardless, i love this fic so much. I love the environment, I love the dialogue, the characterization, everything. It's just such an amazing reading experience

matchstick people by ecorone | E | 60k

if you havent noticed by now, im obsessed with this author. the prose, the characterizations, how beautifully the magical realism of it all was realized. horror as a genre is so underutilized in fanfics as a whole but when its done, its done amazingly. love love love

Others:

crude generalisations and vulgar simplifications by crescenteluce | E | 14k | Alexander Albon/George Russell

This fic is THE galex fic for me. it so funny and the writing is so witty its just fun to read. love the way the environment is constructed and it everything just feels so real. amazing

it's more than I can bear: this interminable want, turning and turning. by Anonymous | E | 2k | Fernando Alonso/George Russell

The vibes are rancid, the ships are niche, the writing is good. what more do you need? i love reading this and i love thinking about this.

Amen by sirius | M | 9k | Fernando Alonso/Lewis Hamilton

THE ferwis fic is my mind and mad me unreasonably obsessed with this ship. its so well written- like i love the characterization so much it makes me insane.

on golden sands bysionisjaune | T | 6k | Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg/Sebastian Vettel

Listen, this and the ships that go sailing are both just amazingly entertaining fics. its objectively such a good read and i enjoy spending my time reading it. its just so fun!

steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it) by nahco3 | E | 26K | Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

My favourite medical au fic!! ever!!! everything is just so well realized and the characterization is just spot on!! love everything about this fic and nothing i say can fully explain how amazing this fic is!!!

Shutter Speed byantimonyandthyme | E | 18k | Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber

got me into photography lol. made me purchase my first actual camera. dont know what else to say its just that amazing

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onlyseokmins · 22 days

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$$60 billion (part 2) • l.s.m.

How did a legendary bounty promised for turning in the wasteland's most infamous outlaw transform into a sick, little inside betting joke amongst your traveling companions? Though you have no idea why they're doing it… you sure as hell don't want that very same gunslinger comrade worth sixty billion double dollars to know anything about it either — but oops — looks like he already does! Damn you and your temper, some unhelpful lip-loosening alcohol, and one no-good, sorry excuse of a preacher you sometimes think of as a friend.

Pairing: outlaw!lee seokmin x fem!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), trigun!au, action!au, apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic!au, space western!au, slight enemies to comrades to ??? !au, angst, fluff, they're dumbasses your honor 🙏 Warnings: swearing, blood, guns, injuries, medical tingz, destruction, mentions of knives, violence, unsettling space western things, slight body horror and hints at altered dna, weird religious cults, mentions of eating/food, alcohol, threats, bets among friends, tame-ish alien/monster/plant sex (????? listen it'll make sense - think of him like howl's bird form on steroids idk), mating, possessiveness!, marking, bruising, jealousy, smelling/scent kink???, wet messy sex uwu, wing kink (??? listen i was gonna explore it more but decided not to ok??), BITING (bc it's me), mechanical/robotic fingering???, gagging, bulge kink, oral sex (explicit male receiving and brief fem. receiving), seokmin's dick is like SLOPPY TOPPY LORGE w/ a mind of it's own, lowkey forgot how to write smut sorry </3 WC: 13.2k of 32.7k | Part 1 | Read on AO3 A/N: this is for the Now that's 90's - A Seventeen collab and loosely based off/inspired by the Trigun anime/manga! You do not need to know it as I manipulated a whole lot of elements for my own narrative but beware of various spoilers if you do go ahead and check out the series after reading!! I hope everyone enjoys the conclusion and please check out the other writers in this amazing collab ❤️PS, I know nothing abt chess lmaooooo but let me know your thoughts and feel free to ask any questions regarding this au's intricacies!! This part might get a little confusing because of a flashback!! (starts right after the italicized paragraph and ends with "...in this moment...")

The silence is palpable.

"Does it hurt more to get stabbed in the back or shot?"

Only the continual rustling sound answers your philosophical question. Not that you actually care because you weren't really expecting a reply.

So, you keep talking.

"I think it would be more painful to get stabbed… but it would take longer to heal from a gunshot wound."

There's a brief pause in the motions behind you. But the quiet resumes, though the practiced skill of a needle threading through your skin quickens. While the local anesthetics Tonim's doctor supplied is doing its job for the most part, you swear you can still feel the tug of flesh being sewn together.

Or maybe you're just thinking too hard.

"Look. I'm… I'm sorry."

If tension could personify itself right at this moment, it would do so with ease, given how heavy its presence currently sits in the room. A low voice finally speaks up, gravely and roughened after such a long period of silence and the hairs on your neck rise.

"Are you really?"

"… Yes."

A heavy sigh — one burdened with all the worries of the world — follows. You wince and then tremble, wishing you could turn around. It's easy to guess what he's thinking but god, do you wish you could see his face to confirm. The fear of the unknown paralyzes you.

"I seriously am."

"Doubtful. I know you only asked me that question to subtly say you'll be okay and heal just fine but it's not that simple."

The callousness in his tone and the sharp way he says your first name makes you want to shrink down, shrivel up, and quite frankly die on the spot. Gritting your teeth, you succumb to the apparent silent treatment until the snip of scissors signifies your surgeon has finished treating you.

You think twice about your options upon hearing the click-clack of medical supplies being put back into the first aid kit. Then you think, "fuck it!", and use your good arm to keep the fabric of a spare t-shirt pressed against your chest and shift so you can face the man who just rather aggressively threw a handful of unused alcohol prep pads back into their designated slot.

"I'm super duper, utterly, and truly apologetic, Seok."

The gunslinger heaves another grand exhale of irritation. He doesn't even so much as glance at you, frowning sourly down at the roll of gauze in his hands instead. The temptation to reach out and touch him — soothe him — is strong but you decide against that (for various reasons) and resort to huffily pouting instead. Amazingly it seems to work, because he notices right away and folds way too easily without much of your sway, finally facing you with a reluctant but serious expression.

"Then what did you learn?"

Your gaze lowers, eyelashes fluttering while you drown in your feelings of shame and wrack your brain. The urge to toy with the silver chain around your neck is strong though you resist the tick and hesitantly answer instead.

"Um, that I need to fortify my mental block better?"

"Try again."

"Uh…"

"How about the way you're not supposed to play the hero?"

The tin of the trauma kit rattles as Seokmin slams his left hand down on the bed, leaning menacingly toward you. Though narrowed, his eyes seem to glow. You can't help but whimper at the intense ire dancing in those irises paired with his sharp tone. Like the desert's suns, it simmers and radiates off of him with rays of heat that you can easily feel given how close he is.

"I'm, I'm sorry!"

"No, you're not," he states sharply though the rigidness in his body relaxes after your squeak of another apology. "You almost died!"

You'd defiantly cross your arms if you could. "Between the two of us, you were most at risk of dying."

"Was not! And we both know my chances of injury are much, much lower than yours."

"You can't lecture me and flex your stupid powers this time! It's different 'cause Jihooon was fuckin' with my mind."

The harsh bitterness is more so directed at yourself and the damned Crimsonnail than Seokmin. But as usual, you vent all your frustrated emotions out on him, especially whenever he brings up the fragility of your mortality. You both stare stubbornly into each other's eyes, thinking back to what happened and what could've happened.

Lina's protected. The Tonim residents were all immobilized. Seungcheol, Seungkwan, and Mingyu are in good spirits. You are safe.

A burst of air rushes into Seokmin's lungs, relief filling him as he idly scans your figure for injuries. Casually reloading his revolver just in case, he beams as you approach. The mirrored expression of victory on your face accompanied by a hand reaching out causes his whole body to shudder in pleasure. There's nothing he'd like more than to intertwine his fingers with yours.

Instead, he settles for returning your enthusiastic fist bump. Nudging his shoulder against yours, Seokmin chirps out, "Good job, partner!"

"Partner?"

"Yeah, partners."

You shake your head like you can't believe him, amusement tilting up the corners of your lips. He wants to tell you everything, all of it. But his ears catch the faint click of a contraption behind him and he looks over his shoulder just in time to see Jihoon's crossbow assemble.

Joshua looks mightily displeased but makes no effort to put a stop to the Crimsonnail's actions. Seokmin can only thank his lucky stars that Soonyoung remains in a catatonic state. Dealing with a ginormous worm so soon after being in its stomach a couple days ago was not appealing in the slightest.

The fingers of his prosthesis splay out, cybernetic arm lowered and extended outwards in front of you as you turn around as well. He knows you hate unwarranted protection but you'll have to forgive his instincts this time. Nevertheless, he trusts you. And as Jihoon opens fire, Seokmin leaps into action, expecting you to do the same — only to do a double-take when you don't move despite a flurry of nails breaching the air.

Your eyes remain unfocused. Glazed over and cloudy, posture tense but still. He sneaks observatory looks your way from afar while firing Geranium. Round after round, breaking nail after nail to prevent any harm befalling you. A maniacal laughter rings out and Seokmin freezes, putting two and two together.

Then he snarls.

Jihoon must've sicced his killing intent — a nasty ability to project and create illusions of destruction in someone and break their will — on you. Cursing, he starts making his way closer to you, inwardly reaching out to you and begging that you'll break free of the blonde-haired man's clutch on your psyche.

You're obviously more than capable. He knows this. But your movements are sluggish, slowly releasing Sirocco from your grasp. The empty pistol lands on the sand with a muffled thud and Seokmin's pretty sure his heart mimics it. A look of terror and horror spreads across your facial features, surely subject to something awful within the confines of your own mind.

And while you're experiencing visions of things you fear coming true, he's stuck in the vivid reality where they do.

You spin around with a wild look in your eyes — full of rage and anguish. He stumbles back as you teeter one foot at a time toward him and in the distraction, a nail pierces right below your shoulder blade.

Someone wails behind him.

You scream.

Seokmin rushes forward. But he's tackled suddenly to the ground and ends up flat on his back. Completely winded and left with his vision smarting, blinking in confusion at the blurry double halos that definitely shouldn't be around the duo of suns in the sky.

Then your face comes into focus. And god, forget the suns — in all your glory and in all your fierceness, you shine brighter than them all combined — hallucinations be damned.

It takes a bit of wrangling around, given how you try to wrestle and pin the man down. The clunky gun you're waving around goes off several times, harmlessly lodging bullet holes into the sand cushioning around Seokmin's head.

"Stop it, you're gonna hurt yourself!"

Moving and lashing out like a wild animal before it's fully sedated, his words don't come through the hellish haze Jihoon's trapped you in. You pull the trigger with no regard for the injury to your shooting arm.

Bang!

He dutifully counts each round fired, multitasking between that and the effort it takes to contain your struggling movements. Once again, thanks to the overpowered strength of his prosthetic, the man's finally able to sit up with you secured in his arms to cease any further movement.

"Lovely, lovely mayfly," he murmurs. The stable cybernetic hand gently feels around the impaled shoulder while a trembling thumb rubs your abnormally chilled cheek. "C'mon and snap out of it, pretty."

Not a spot of recognition in your blank glare. His eyebrows furrow as cold metal presses in between them. Seungcheol is cursing, Mingyu and Seungkwan are shouting loudly. Jihoon gloats.

But none of that matters. Seokmin drowns all of it out by diving in the pooling depths of your empty irises. Searching, calling, begging. Biting his lip, he delivers a quick slap and pleads, "Come back to me, love."

And like a mist that rises after dawn, you return to him. Your stunned grip on the gun falters, the final bullet rattling in its chambers. The pained expression on your face slices open his own heart but its shredded form takes flight in utter relief.

You're back. You're going to be okay — he'll make sure of it. And even if you don't know it, you're his and he's yours.

"Y-you're dead," you choke out and all he can do is smile despite feeling like he's on the verge of crying. Elation, anger, guilt, hope, longing, worry, joy — all of it turns and tosses within him like a rustling flurry of winged creatures struggling to break free.

So, he smiles at you and grasps the barrel of the old pistol aimed at his forehead. "I know, mayfly."

Jihoon howls in fury. Joshua finally steps forward, striking a military pose with his hands behind his back. Composed as ever, his voice remains its deceptively sweet self compared to the harsh jerking movements he's subjected upon the gray-eyed man via telepathy.

"You've crossed the line, lost number thirteen."

"Don't call me that!"

It's no surprise that the pecking order in Dokyeom's henchmen sowed seeds of dissent. Though Joshua was simply a right-hand man, he remained the only unnumbered member, proving the lack of disposability DK saw in him versus the others.

"Know your place."

"Which has always been at the top! But because of you — !"

" — The top of those already at the bottom, perhaps. Respect your superiors and your orders, Crimsonnail. You were not to lay a hand upon Master Dokyeom's brother. Ever."

"I didn't!"

"Or a member of his little group." His indifferent gaze swept over Seokmin protectively cradling your body. "This voids our involvement and nullifies any further implementations of the game."

Joshua would thank his lucky stars that the humanoid typhoon is letting them leave scotch-free if he was a decent man. Unfortunately, he's not — already considering what punishment to enact upon Jihoon per his master's orders. The Crimsonnail feels a shiver down his spine, further enhanced by Joshua's frosty, disdainful look of disapproval as he telepathically drags Jihoon to the car.

Still, it's a good thing Seokmin's a pacifist by nature, that he's more preoccupied by your well being than anything else. Your brow begins to bead with sweat, the pain of your wound finally sinking in past the adrenaline rush wearing off. Black circles dance in your blurring vision, the gun falling from your grasp as you droop forward and rely on the unerring sureness of his support and the safety within in it.

Seokmin knows he needs to get you medical help right away, and it's the only thing he can focus on. There's no time for exchanging a blow with a blow nor the faintest idea of revenge.

Not yet. Not now. Maybe never if it means putting you in harm's way.

Was he really going to give up following the bloody trail to hold his brother accountable for the unspeakable crimes he's committed? Throw away the blank ticket Rem spoke about? All for one person?

The questions all swirl around in his head like a nebulous mass. And like a newborn star — one that's been long in the making — the answer is crystal clear and shining bright as you sit in front of him now looking devastatingly beautiful to him despite all that's happened. Most importantly, you're safe.

But all he can say in this moment aloud is, "I'm sorry."

For a multitude of reasons. So many of them. You seem to spot something in his eyes, frowning ever so slightly.

"You don't have to apologize for anything. I'm fine."

"I almost lost you."

"But you didn't."

"…I know. And I'm so fuckin' glad."

Seokmin runs his fingers in a distressed manner through dusty, matted strands of reddish-brown strands. Immediately drawing attention to the dirt, grime, and dried blood coating and dulling the cybernetic's buzzing glow.

"That's gonna be a pain in the ass to clean."

He appreciates the subject change, shooting you a lopsided grin. "Yeah, tell me 'bout it."

"Let me help."

You get up before he can protest. A tactical way to coerce him into worrying about helping you rather than arguing. The coy part of yourself is applauding the method, especially when the calloused flesh of his palm splays against the bare skin of your lower back in the name of support as you both walk to the bathroom.

That same part whispers naughty temptations to drop the t-shirt covering your chest, press up against him, and see his reaction. But your reasonable, reserved side is too held up on various other matters to give in.

Sadly, you find out you can't offer as much assistance as you would've liked. But Seokmin seems heartened by just seeing you up and about and close to him. Plus, you make use of your idleness while he washes in the sink by reaching for the few stocked amenities you can reach with your good shoulder above it when he asks for them. And you receive a heartfelt smile in return.

"I probably should've just showered."

You shrug. "You still could."

"Nah, it's fine, I can do it later. What about you, though? You're going to need help with those stitches."

"What a roundabout way to say you want to bathe together, Seok. You could've just asked."

Maybe you expected him to splutter nervously or protest fiercely at the tease. You certainly don't expect him to just shake his head — silver earring flashing in the vanity's dull lighting — and chuckle.

"I'm being serious, goof. Besides, it's not the first time I've seen you in the tub."

"What?" you squawk and his grin doesn't falter. In fact, it turns into a smirk.

"I'll go get Sherry. Lina's gonna want to see you too, she wouldn't stop crying about her pretty savior getting hurt."

You frown. Was he still going to dodge The Talk™? And did he think you were really just going to him out of your clutches that quickly?

"We still need to chat. You promised."

His eyes flash. "… And you don't like promises."

Yes, that was exactly why. He knew your history. Still, you refused to back down.

"No, I don't. But I like you… and, and most of all, I trust you. I just want the truth, Seok. Even if you think it'll hurt me, at least be honest. Trust me back. I promise it'll make it less painful if you tell me why you thought I wasn't serious. So, please…"

Don't let me down.

It's unspoken, but he can clearly hear it in your tone. A battle-worn sigh escapes so you try to lead him and finish with a question where he can give a more straightforward answer.

"… How long have you known? About the bet, I mean."

Despite wavering between semi-alertness and bordering the edge of losing consciousness, you're aware of Sheryl's presence as she bustles around with Seungkwan and Mingyu to clear out an empty room above the saloon temporarily used for patients. Seungcheol waits outside the door with you two, a cigarette loosely dangling from his lips.

When Sheryl leaves, she sneaks a peek at the way your face buries into Seokmin's neck, how the man carefully assesses the rest of your body for injuries. His touch is gentle, the cybernetic arm coated in blood as it holds the nail in you steady. He'd been adamant about being the one — the best one — to treat you. Smiling, she hands Seungcheol a couple of double dollars and the pastor raises an inquiring eyebrow.

"For that little game of yours," the woman whispers knowingly and gestures to the two who just exited the room and Seokmin hurriedly heads inside. "They told me all about it."

You lift your head to glare at Seungcheol and then your other comrades as you pass, wondering if this was some sick form of revenge for pulling one on him and if Sheryl was so keen to set you up with someone in the same way pompously done for her. But your shoulder feels like it's on fire so rather than reprimand your stupid, back-stabbing friends and slump back wearily against Seokmin.

He's a simple man who certainly can't hide a silly smile at the unconventional snuggling. Lifting his chin, he then tilts his head questioningly to the money in Seungcheol's hands. "You're still doing that bet?"

"Haf'ta win the lasses 'n hopeless romantics over 'n have 'em rootin' fer ya."

"Y-you know about the bet?"

Seokmin hushes you with a low murmur, words muffled by the press of his lips to the crown of your head. You can't make out what he says, but the timbre is soothing enough that your eyes close.

"Gotta make that sixty billion somehow if we're not turnin' ya ass in."

"Fair enough!" The wanted man laughs and closes the door with his foot.

His cheerful demeanor then dropped to focus on the proper procedures to treat your wound and that's when the silence settles in, soon followed by the weighing air of unresolved tension between you. And now, you're continuing the determined path to fully speed-run ahead and break it, though he shrugs nonchalantly at the question.

"Known for a while, to be honest."

"Seriously? I thought it was a secret!"

"C'mon, you know how bad Cheol is at keeping them."

"Yeah, right," you roll your eyes. "That man takes things to the grave — literally!"

"You're too hard on him." Seokmin leans toward you, bracing himself with an arm supported by the sink and brown eyes sparkling with humor. "Think about how much you've learned about him."

"Against my will, too much…"

"Which means I'm right."

"… I guess you do make a fair point."

"Of course. He's a completely open book once you peel back that damn protective hardcover of his."

Still, you sniff disdainfully and frown. "I swear, you're the only one who sees him like that."

"Like what?"

"Like…. unafraid, unconcerned, unbothered by all that he is, all that he's done, et cetera."

"Why not? He's done the same for me. Besides, I've said it before but he has those eyes, you know. Kind."

Ah, and that's what gets you to resign with a small grin. It's just like Seokmin to see only the good in people.

"And you're not all that different," he continues with a broad, knowing smile. Immediately you bristle and he clarifies, "from me." Some part of you momentarily wonders if you spoke your thoughts aloud or if he just simply knows them that well. "As loath as you are to admit it, you care for him. Most importantly, you trust him."

Though your face sours at the thought, you don't retort right away. Sure, Seungcheol is a trusted ally. And maybe the motivation to free Jeonghan from the control of the Eye of Joshua wasn't solely because it was simply the right thing to do. But also because it might brighten the dull spark and leave one less bloodstain on the hand of a man who bore the burdensome weight of all sins like a cross on his shoulders.

Then you wave away those thoughts for now. "So, is that why you thought I wasn't serious on how I feel about you. 'Cause of the bet?"

"No, because I never knew the full extent of it. But… if you're saying it had to do with your feelings, then I would have to say yes — though I find it hard to believe any bet's worth my bounty."

"Oh." Your cheeks heat at unwittingly giving it away.

Seokmin smirks when you avoid his gaze, and he moves in even closer. "No one has sixty billion double dollars just lying around, mayfly."

"You're just saying that so no one turns you over to July."

"Well, you won't do it, will you?"

"You don't know that," you fire back, intending to heighten your defenses that only weakly falter because you're still not looking at him.

"But I do."

"Yeah? Prove it!"

Ooh, a challenge.

And one more step closer.

"Because you care too much about the man you like to put him behind bars."

Your eyes dart back to meet his, ready to squint reproachfully only to widen at how the gunslinger's face is only a breadth away from yours. Breath hitching, you desperately want to whine out in irritation but it comes out in a low whimper. Seokmin's canines flash in the bathroom's dim lighting.

"That's not, that's not fair." The wall pressing into your bare back keeps you from retreating and the hand keeping the t-shirt covering your chest feels how your heartbeat speeds up. Your skin is on fire, only the cool temperature of your locket and its chain preventing you from utterly exploding after the plaintive admission of, "You already know everything. But…"

"But…?"

The unconscious action of biting into your lower lip only gets realized by the way it keenly draws Seokmin's eyes. Electric blue flashes against brown irises yet they darken to almost black with the sudden thrill of desire that rises to the surface. He's so close, you can feel his breath caress your face, and you swear you hear it deepen into a low grunt before he raises a brow for you to continue.

"But… b-but I don't know…a single… thing."

Seokmin has forever believed Rem's take regarding the ticket to the future always being blank. For him, it's always been an unknown path forward that he's let lead him wherever and to whatever destination.

He holds himself back, just enough to utter the (practically what should be unneeded) words of reassurance, "It could only ever be you — and it's always been only you — that I could be in love with so much, mayfly," and then he's eliminating the meager distance between the two of you. For the first time, he stamps that blank ticket with an assuredness of the future and outcome he's never had before — with a kiss.

Cradling the back of your head with his cybernetic prosthesis, the other cups your cheek and then trails down to your collarbones — but no further than appropriate. His mouth, though, disregards the very notion. A teasing tongue repeatedly runs across your bottom lip to smooth out the indents caused earlier by your teeth then naughtily pokes and prods its way between, eliciting a sweet gasp from you he absolutely devours.

Your whole body shudders with happiness, eagerly surrendering to the man's wild, possessive fervor as he passionately steals the breath out of your lungs and stakes his claim on you by leaving behind shiny kiss-bitten lips. Seokmin only draws away, panting, to admire his handiwork, light-headed and dizzy with delight.

"I love you," he reconfirms with his forehead resting against yours and nose tickling your own, "… partner."

Breathlessly, you joke back after placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Love you too, partner."

And that was that.

With your shoulder injury on the mend and the other members of your little ragtag group nursing their own bumps and bruises, you all decided to spend one more night in Tonim — much to Lina's delight. While she merrily bounced from one 'hero' to the next, you playfully reminded Wonwoo that he still owed you some free drinks. You were eager to take advantage of the fact and he was more than willing to accommodate.

The tavern that originally held a subdued, slightly hostile air to it when you first arrived was now filled with an unfettered joyous harmony. You're so easily swept up in the ambiance of such high spirits and jubilant townsfolk as mug ales filled to the brim get passed around and clinked together, you fail to notice Seokmin's sudden withdrawn nature.

Not until the next morning do you first realize something's off.

"You're sure about this?"

"Oh, no. Not you too, Seok."

You'd already flipped off and shoved away a complaining, terribly hungover Seungcheol and finally got rid of the watchful, fretting gazes of Seungkwan and Mingyu. The duo had been hovering around you with concern ever since you downed a full glass of alcohol last night. While you generally just let them be and were quite thankful not to wake up with a pounding headache, you certainly weren't above crushing all of Mingyu's pudding cups if he meekly asked one more time if you were okay or needed help.

Seokmin leans against the open door frame as you pack. The pulsating glow of lost technology flickers in your peripheral and keeps you aware of his quiet presence. Part of you had always wondered if the ever-running currents of lighting synced with the flow of blood through the rest of his body.

The gunslinger doesn't speak, and you wonder why. And though you'd like to flatter yourself and entertain the notion that he's watching you — while other times that may be true — you don't feel the weight of his eyes trained on your motions. It wasn't like there was much to stuff in your bag, the satchel's leather cracked, faded, and well-worn after all these years of use through the desert and everything you truly value remains strapped some way to your body. So once you're finished, you inquisitively peek over in his direction.

Brown eyes are trained on the clunky gun on the mattress — the same one you'd pressed against his head. It's also the exact same pistol Chan had spent his adolescence restoring and repairing. Left unnamed unlike the honorary grave Seokmin had helped you prep before leaving the ruins of Ivywood behind. Meanwhile, his gaze darts to linger in contemplation on the chain around your neck before his eyebrows furrow, emphasizing the drawn out features and dark circles beneath his eyes.

"You look tired, you doing okay?"

"Yeah, just haven't been… sleeping well."

Frowning, you step toward him. Although he doesn't back away, his entire posture stiffens. "Will you be able to make the journey?"

He snorts, gesturing to your shoulder you're trying not to move too much. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to be asking you?"

"I'll feel better at the border."

Seokmin nods understandingly. "The weather will align well."

Within the sandstorms that relentlessly swirl near the Melca Border Sea of Sand, hides the only SEEDS floating ship that survived the Great Fall and you have to get the timing just right to reach it. It's home to a large community of humans, and most importantly, it's what you would consider a true home to you and Seokmin. Already, your energy restores — excited at the prospect of getting to relax in a place you trust and people you truly enjoy being around.

"Jun can take a look at my shoulder."

"That's true, it would be good for him to do."

"And I'm sure Hao's going to want to check your arm, maybe fashion some fabric that's not only bulletproof but also nail-proof."

"He's gonna give us both a scolding."

"Wouldn't be the first time."

You share a look of fond chagrin. Even though Seokmin's well over a century older than Juhui and Minghao, they were direct Earth descendants aboard a ship full of lost technology and geniuses in their own right. Those facts alone gave them all the confidence and utter audacity to more often than not, act like fretting toma mothers over the two of you.

Nonetheless, you appreciated them with all that's remaining of your heart.

The trip to the Melca Border wasn't a straight shot from Tonim but it wasn't as far as you thought. A bittersweet farewell to Wonwoo, Lina, Sherry, and the rest of the townsfolk was to be expected. Though their sorrow weighed you down, the knowledge that you were parting from them with good memories and the expectations to visit again kept your steps light-footed.

Seokmin remains zoned out the entire time. You bulk it up to his normal reaction whenever something emotional was on the horizon. Returning to Melca held a grand spread of wonderful, warm memories with a scattering of dreadfully sad ones too. Though the floating ship's defenses have been bolstered to the max over the years, the terrible events weren't easy to forget.

But they were incidents in the past and it's thanks to the intellect of the two who greet you at the entrance of the ship that their defenses continue to improve. Luida proudly stands behind them, accompanied by Brad and his wife.

"Greetings, weary travelers."

"We're no strangers, Luida," Seokmin protests against her formality.

The elderly leader's playful grin smooths out the wrinkles lining her wise face. "Welcome home, children."

It's a simple phrase but one that fills you with inexplicable warmth. Hansol might be the son born of her own body, but no one is immune from her maternal instinct. She beckons for everyone to come inside where the main quarters lie and the growing crew population will certainly be enthusiastic upon hearing about your return.

Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Seungkwan trail after without fuss, also elated to be aboard the familiar floating ship. You smile with genuine delight and step forward to follow while Minghao takes one look over his wire-rimmed glasses to survey Seokmin's dusty figure and elegantly tilts his head knowingly in the hallway leading to the technology laboratory. Glittery, colorful beads woven through the long strands of his two-toned hair clink in time with the movement.

It's hard to hide the snicker that escapes as you watch Seokmin trudge after Minghao like a scolded puppy. Your glee at someone else's suffering doesn't last long when a gentle hand clasps your shoulder. Wincing at the pain, you meet Junhui's puzzled look before his eyes narrow.

"You're hurt," he says, disappointed but not surprised, and leads you away to the med bay. It's exactly what you expected, in fact, the main reason behind why you're here — and yet, you sulk and whine petulantly just because you can.

"Not my fault that the only way to get here is by timing everything right to jump into a sandstorm and then onto a flying platform."

After instructing you to lie down on the medical bed and cutting the fabric of your shirt without fanfare, Junhui clicks his tongue. "You only come to visit when you're hurt."

"Not true!"

He concentrates on disinfecting and resewing the torn stitches in the tender flesh around the parts of your wound that are still healing. His tone borders on slight resentment but the concern weighing in it smoothes it all over.

"And yet most of our time spent together is only when you visit so I can patch you up."

"It's not like that."

"I know… but I would've met you elsewhere."

"Boring."

"Can't you courteously pretend to care about yourself out of consideration for those who worry?"

"You'll go gray at such a very young age if you stress all the time, Jun."

He shakes away silver bangs that threaten to impede his vision, unamused. "And you'll end up buried under the sand next time."

"Sounds cozy."

"I swear —"

You wave his growing ire away. "Seok takes care of me just fine."

"Yes," Junhui's cat-like smile causes your metaphorical hackles to raise. "He does care deeply about you."

"I'll punt you into the fifth moon and give it a second crater with your body."

"Now, now… violence is never the answer."

"Violence is the only reason you have a job!"

If you weren't as close as you were, perhaps he'd be offended by your claim. Instead, he kicks you out (after ensuring you're indeed in relatively good health), leaving you to laugh victoriously. Then, you set off to the technology lab in good spirits, hoping to catch Seokmin and commiserate with him.

Instead, you find a lone Minghao sitting refinedly amongst all the tech with grace and poise. He was in his element. Fiddling with and poking at a well-worn, familiar cybernetic tech with a thin silver instrument, he simply raises an eyebrow to acknowledge your presence.

"Did you fit Seok with a new arm?"

"But of course," the man sighs wearily, "despite my best efforts, my darlings always return home to their father with quite a beating."

"… Then you'll hate what I'm about to tell you."

"No, I cannot fashion you a pierce-proof trench coat. However, I will acquire some stronger material… but there better not be a next time."

You purse your lips and pout. It often seemed like Minghao worried more about his inventions than the people using them, though you knew that to ultimately not be true.

"So, he already told you what happened."

"Oh, yes… he told me everything." Heterochromatic eyes suddenly meet yours, sharp with a spark of amusement. "See, I almost didn't want to give him the latest modification but…"

"But…" You repeat warily.

Junhui was always mischievous, though most of it only ended with harmless pranks. On the other hand, Minghao's sarcasm-filled humor rarely made an appearance, and when it did, it usually delighted in the sickest of satisfactions.

Yet, he simply shrugs, evasive as always. "I think you'll like its improvements."

There's something foreboding about that statement, but he ushers you away under the pretense that he needs to concentrate. And shortly, you find yourself stopped by curious passersby or familiar faces in the hallways to the main quarters. Since your last visit, a multitude of passengers have a lot to share and update you on. By the time you reach your own pod, you're socially exhausted.

Sleep came easy but finding Seokmin did not. The SEEDS ship was already big in the first place and additional construction enlarged it further. An itchy, achy feeling pooled inside your gut on the second evening you'd been unable to catch sight of him. Finally, you acknowledged the bitter truth — he was avoiding you.

You had to come to terms with how delusional it was to think that once everything was out in the open, the scattered puzzle pieces would magically fall together in their rightful places. It should be easy, right? It's what happened in those cheap novels Junhui dug out of an abandoned pod in Melca back in the day. He'd given them to you as a birthday joke — Minghao sighing and handing over your real present (the first bullet-proof trench coat) — but you'd actually read through all the cheesy, steamy piles of romantic drivel.

Seungkwan, ever the cynic, and Seungcheol — who's naturally a heathen — quickly destroyed the slim spark of hope of ever hoping to feel those flutters in your gut. Meanwhile, Mingyu was someone precious and wholesome with a romantic outlook on life underneath the great muscular physique he'd gained from carrying that heavy concussion gun around.

You often wondered why they never tormented him like they did to you. But despite his indomitable stature, the emotionally soft man's tears were the most powerful weapon in his arsenal. Even if he didn't quite realize it, his comrades certainly were aware.

And Seokmin… well, if you knew how Seokmin felt about romance, you wouldn't be stuck in the position of wondering why the fuck he was avoiding you.

Again.

"Where is he?"

"Good morning," Mingyu greets the following morning, cheerful as ever. "If you're still hunting Seokmin for sport, he said he's feelin' a little sick!"

"Sure."

"No, he really is." Seungkwan refutes your aggressive eye roll with a gentle shake of his head. "Loverboy hasn't come out of his room for days and when I almost knocked the door in earlier, he finally responded only to sound like a dying toma."

Your face contorts into a morbid combination of concern and irritation, shifting between the two expressions. "Probably 'cause he stayed out all last night!"

And with a dramatic huff, you glower at the pastor seated in the cramped corner of the floating ship's kitchen area. Seungcheol deemed it was cooler, darker, and the farthest spot in the enclosed space from any of your misplaced wrath. He smiles, the white stick between whiter teeth jollily flicking up and down at you, taunting.

He reveled in the knowledge of being safe since he'd been the only one able to provide any information on the humanoid typhoon's whereabouts. The pastor — who still enjoyed a late-night smoke to cure some of his insomnia — considered it his saving grace to catch sight of the fellow gunslinger slinking through the shadows in the halls. Apparently, Seokmin had been sneaking outside the past few nights and remained resolutely ever-elusive during the day.

"Should go see 'im. Yer all antsy and 'm bettin' he's missin' his… mayfly."

"Oh, go fuck yourself," you snarl and storm out, missing the man's bark of laughter before he continues contemplating the best way to siphon money during a confessional.

The unfaltering stomp of your combat boots is the background beat on your walk to Seokmin's pod. His halls aren't far from the kitchen area and yet each footfall feels like a step into the unknown, the lights above seeming to grow dimmer the closer you get.

Why was he acting like this?

Did he regret everything that happened between you?

Was something wrong?

Would he shut himself away from you?

Worry and anger swirl together, mirroring the vortex of sand you had to pass through to get here. Seokmin's never shut you completely out before but you're familiar with his reclusive acts when things get too much. Too close. Too emotional. And you're afraid to be the catalyst to another spiral.

So, you knock. Harsh, loud, and ultimately unforgiving if ignored.

"Seokmin, open up! I know you're alive!"

A mutter of "Barely," carries through the door before he clearly answers with a curt, "I'm not feeling well but I'll be fine."

"Open the door."

Silence.

"Please."

The silence continues — and your temper flares. "Don't make me go get my bag and grab my lock-picking set!"

You can hear sounds of cursing and some rustling around before the door slowly and reluctantly opens, Seokmin hiding in the shadow it casts.

"As you can see, I'm quite fi —"

Both a coughing jag and the firm push of your shoe interrupts his confident statement. "Sure hope you weren't about to say you're fine!"

A faint smoky scent permeates the pod. You cough and pause to let your vision adjust to the darkness. The first hint toward Seokmin's unusual behavior because he thrived in the sunlight, no matter how weak the sunrays that reached the floating ship were. Then second, you blink in wonderment at the black heaps littering the bed and floor.

Feathers. Everywhere.

Reminiscent of the time you'd broken Seungcheol's ridiculously expensive pillow against Mingyu's bulky bicep during a good-natured fight with Seungkwan's assistance. But instead of an explosion of brown and aqua toma plumage causing you all to sneeze, these were inky dark like the night sky and resembled piles of soot against the pod's stark white backdrop.

You whirl around to find Seokmin retreating to the corner of the room, hands slamming on top of the dresser for support. His back is to you with two thin wings jutting out from it. Feathers rustle as he pants, shoulders coinciding up and down with the motion of the wings.

"Seok, how did… how did this happen?"

It's not fear that causes your voice to tremble but worry. The appearance of his natural Plant form is no longer shocking. In fact, the more you see it, the more you find it eerily beautiful. Probably similar to those who believe them to be messengers of a higher power. But he's only ever transformed in dire situations — either due to stress or the rare exhaustion of his superhuman abilities against stronger foes.

He doesn't reply so you take a cautious step forward. An animalistic growl erupts from his throat, followed by a pained groan. You gasp as he shakes, protrusions rupturing from the lower parts of his shoulder blades. Two more wings burst out and unfurl below the trembling ones already quivering on his back.

So that's how they hide and reappear.

"Is it 'cause you're sick? Choi said you've been staying out all night. You could've caught a cold or something's in the air. Never know what's floating around here." You babble as you frantically search for signs in the mirror above the dresser for any hints to what's caused this.

Seokmin's bent over and you note what should be brunette roots of hair are now pitch-black too. Closer and closer you creep until you can make out each bead of perspiration trickling down his neck and how they coat every bare part of his body in a sheen of sweat.

Then his head snaps up. An eye — unshielded by the black fringe of his red-brown tipped bangs — narrows to glare into your widened ones. A tempest of electric blue rages within it. Like the hottest type of fire, it burns more than you could ever expect in a vortex of one prominent emotion.

Desire.

An involuntary shudder overtakes your whole body, and you unconsciously bite your lip. Seokmin slumps back down, granting respite from that ardent azure glow.

"Sick," he snarls and laughs, strained. "Sick in the head, that's for sure."

"How… how can I help? What can I do for you?"

"Get out."

"Seok —"

"I'm serious, mayfly. For your own good. Leave."

"My own good?"

"I'll, hah, I'll explain… explain it later."

Your arms cross. "Oh, really? Or will you avoid me again? Like you have been for the past several days?"

"I haven't —"

"Don't you dare feign indifference! I'm not stupid — we talk about our feelings and then you retreat. Just be honest with me… please."

You promised.

He sucks in a very deep inhale through clenched teeth, seeming to regret it instantly because his grip on the edge of the dresser is hard enough to crack the strong material. Glowering at your reflection again — not daring to acknowledge your very real and extremely close presence in the room — Seokmin bares his sharpened and widened incisors in a snarl.

"We will talk, mayfly, please believe me. Now's… hah… just not great timing with… with what's happening."

Irritation easily gives way back to worry. "At least tell me what I can do for you. Should I get Jun?"

"He can't do anything. Gotta just… work it out of my system."

"Work what?" You frown, knowing how rare it is for the medical specialist to be stumped.

"It's not for certain…" Four different wings flutter in agitation at various speeds. "Not a lot's known about Plant physiology," his mouth turns downward, "even I don't have a thorough understanding."

"Is it a disease?"

"Wish it was that simple."

"You're talking in riddles and running verbal circles, Seok."

"… Dokyeom and I are independent Plants. Likely the only ones, well, you know — still functioning. Alive. When Rem found us, research was obviously done."

You know the story very well and nod. "And had been conducted before."

"'Course thanks to Rem, it wasn't as invasive but there were, hah, occasional talks. Theories. And then, of course, before us twins, there was…"

"… Tesla."

A Plant with a lifespan of only two-hundred and thirty days.

Seokmin swallows. "Tesla. Yes. I recall bits and pieces. Hypothesized with Luida and company… Outside of Dokyeom following the unethical methods humans sometimes conduct for experimentation," he snorts at the irony, "it's thought that Plants… can copulate… with a mate… of their, hah, choosing."

"Really?" Your eyebrows raise, intrigued. "That's a brilliant discovery!" Then they furrow. "Wait, are you saying that this," you wave your hand to gesture at his current form, "is because… you're, er, ready to… mate?"

He holds his head. "… Yes."

"Oh, okay. So, you need like… relief? A mate? Should I…?"

Your questions hang uncertainly in the air, unfinished because you're really not sure what you're supposed to even offer. A sarcastic smirk graces Seokmin's lips, condescending in the sort of way that's aimed more at himself.

"What kind of man do you think I am, mayfly?"

"A very, uh, Planty one for sure."

"Better than leafy, I suppose."

"Though you are quite… feathery."

Finally, he turns toward you, a wry and defeated smile on his weary face. His wings stretch outward and curl back in, elegantly waving toward you as if drawn in your direction. You can't help but smile at the object hanging from a cord around his neck.

"You still keep that old thing around?"

He looks at the golden cartridge and chuckles. "It's special."

"Me holding a gun to your head was special?""Meeting you will always remain a treasured memory, no matter the manner of how it happened." Seokmin falls quiet, lost in thought before hesitantly asking, "Did I not mention Plants mate for life? Well, at the very least, I know I do."

"Oh." Your astonishment reveals itself in a breathless gasp. There's no escaping that all-consuming, fiery cerulean gaze. "So is this the first time you've been… ready to, uh, mate?"

"No, I'm used to the way these cycles come and go. But this for sure is the worst bout yet."

"… Why?"

You hold your breath. He takes a step forward. Then another.

He's so close, if you leaned the slightest bit forward you'd press up against each other. Somehow, with an overwhelming sense of shyness guessing the underlying thoughts and what his answer will be, your eyes roam his bare upper chest and torso.

If you could caress him you would. All the shiny black feathers adorning his wings and the occasional ones sprouting along his forearms pointing to his Plant abilities. Each scar along with every bit of metal or his body's naturally grown wood that replaces chunks of lost flesh. He's kept them as reminders of when he's failed humans, though you've seen them only as when they've failed him. He shivers, like he can feel it, as if he knows what you're thinking and you questioningly re-meet his burning stare as he shoots you a wane smile.

Sheepishly, he rubs where the cybernetic arm attaches to his shoulder. Many have turned away in disgust or mock pity at the disfigurements. Yet despite the true abomination he looks like right now, there's only ever been pure empathy and acceptance he doesn't deserve — all from you.

"Conscious consent and reciprocation."

Your lips turn upward, joy causing your soul to unwittingly sing. "Does that mean… I'm your mate?"

"No."

It's like Gunsmoke completely collapses, and you're left twirling without footing in space. Seokmin matches your fallen expression with one of his own.

"What? Wh-why?"

"Don't get me wrong, it's —"

"I swear if you say 'It's me, not you'…"

He rather adorably tilts his head. "How did you know?"

"It's a typical cliche," you roll your eyes, "just give it to me straight, Seokmin. Is it 'cause I'm human?"

"… It's not that simple, and this isn't something trivial. It's — hah — it's a huge commitment." The use of your given name indicates his seriousness. "A lifetime one. For me, it's only ever been you… and it will always be you for as long as I live, which could be your whole lifespan! And I don't, hah, I don't know — hell, it's taking everything I can not to tear a dead man apart, let alone what I'd do if you'd change your mind, want something — someone else."

"You're doing it again, projecting and underestimating my feelings for you."

"It could be the effect of my pheromones, mayfly. We don't know every —"

"That's right! We don't know! So we have to trust each other and see."

"It's —"

"Let's not subject ourselves to the hypothetical. And what do you mean by dead man?"

Seokmin's jaw tenses, fingernails digging into numb skin. His wings waver, like they're considering cocooning around him for protection. But their tips simply flutter as if soothed by an unseen force, preventing them from enclosing completely.

Teasingly, you lean toward him and squint. "What else aren't you telling me, Seok? You pick a side hustle up that involves the deceased like Choi?"

He snorts at the audacity and doesn't take the bait. Instead, unfamiliar but still achingly familiar irises dart to your neck, tracing the silver chain laying against your skin. A dull sort of sadness fizzles out those blue fires and you clasp the shape of the locket beneath your shirt in realization.

"He was a boy, Seok. A boy I grew up with for a short period, one that felt like a brother to me."

"… You said you loved him."

"When?"

"… To Cheol. After you first met him."

"That would've been so long ago? How do you even remember that?"

He sighs, heavily. "It's not easy to forget. Your voice was so warm, so gentle, so in love when you admitted it."

"Love can mean different things! And I assure you, my feelings for you differ greatly from how I felt about him. And… he's… he's long gone, Seok."

Guilt burns in his eyes. "I know. Which makes me all the worse."

"No, it doesn't." You shake your head, a resigned smile resting on your lips, and hold your arms out. "'Cause I understand and forgive you. And most importantly, I love you."

It's uncertain if those words break or restore him, but the hard rigidness in his body melts away, sagging in a semblance of relief. Then he rushes forward into your waiting embrace, wings helping to propel him forward until they wrap around and press you to him tight, tickling areas where his arms aren't squeezing around you.

"And I adore you, my lovely mayfly."

You groan. "When will you stop calling me that?"

"Never," he snickers and you feel the curve of his lips as he comfortably nuzzles into the crook of your neck. "For as long as you're mine."

"Yours?"

"Mine."

"Sucker."

A chaste kiss brushes the lower tip of your ear. So ticklish and unexpected, you pull back with a giggle and playfully swat his shoulder. And just as he's about to dive forward and prove your little comment correct in retaliation, you burst into full-on laughter that leaves Seokmin to settle his hands on your waist with confusion crinkling his brow.

"What?"

"So that's why you were always having a deathly staring match between my childhood memorabilia?"

"… Was not."

"You — the most sentimental loser ever — definitely were!"

He pouts momentarily, the cute jut out of his lower lip quickly transforming to a devious smirk. "You'd bet on it?"

"Totally." You place your arms around his neck, bringing your bodies closer again and matching the charge of electricity with a clever tilt of your lips. "I'd win, too."

"And what's on the table?"

"Sixty billion double dollars, of course."

"That so?"

"Mhm, and it seems like someone's bounty matches that worth."

Seokmin quirks a brow. "Seems like you want me on the table."

"Winner takes all?"

"Mayfly, I've always been yours."

"Sap," you laugh again.

A bright grin certainly declares your delight in victory, though your partner in crime uses the distraction as an advantage for his earlier loss and wastes no time. Diving in, a sharpened canine grazes your pulse point, automatically causing your head to tilt to offer easier access. Two left wings sweetly swoop down for support, feathered tips tenderly brushing your forehead.

The heat of his tongue placates the dragging scratch of his fangs. Though it sears you alive, heating your entire body from the tips of your toes, swirling in your core, and concentrating beneath Seokmin's lips on your skin.

When reaching that cold, familiar necklace you treasure so much and he can't help but loathe, it's seized between his teeth before he registers the action. Tugging it away from your neck like a dog, you wonder if he'll even shake it like one. His eyes follow the length of the chain, focusing on where the locket pops out above your chest.

You raise a questioning brow. "You gonna just play with my jewelry or take my clothes off?"

"Oh," Seokmin whispers, jaw dropping, and suddenly stands stiffly at attention.

You watch, entranced by the bob of his Adam's apple as he visibly gulps. Large, calloused hands — so practiced in undressing you for baths and patching up wounds — falter as they skim along your sides in a fleeting touch. Smiling encouragingly, you intertwine your fingers with those of his prosthetic while leading the other one beneath your shirt, the rough flesh of his palm blisteringly hot against your stomach.

"Is this okay? Can it help calm your Plant powers?"

"Yes… but that means… giving yourself to me… forever."

"Can't think of anything I'd enjoy more."

Confident, you trail kisses up his jaw to his cheek, stopping near his ear. Playfully tugging at the earring hoop as you pull away. Then you break away and bend over, shimmying off your shorts in one smooth motion. Stepping out of them, next goes your top. As each fabric hits the floor, Seokmin's eyes become more lidded, heavy with want. Smoldering. Desiring.

Four black wings fan out and stay as rigid as his stance. As if they're waiting with bated breath. And when you finally stand bare before him, he sheepishly drags his gaze to the floor with a flustered smile.

"I'm the one naked and you're embarrassed?" you tease and his posture relaxes.

"Because you're a vision to behold."

"Says the one who looks like an angel."

You back up until your knees hit the side of the bed. Like those morbid tales that depict curious listeners following a luring call to their demise, Seokmin's only a step behind you. He doesn't dare let his eyes stray further from your own, a goofy grin on his face.

"Consider this my fall from grace then, mayfly."

Gingerly, you sit on the edge of the mattress, waiting for his next move. He towers over you in this position. Formidable in appearance yet oh-so-gentle when picking up your left hand to kiss your knuckles and rub his thumb across its faded scar. Another smooch gets placed to your inner wrist and you hold your breath at the passion in those blazing cyan depths that refuse to look away. Then, a cautious touch to your shoulder urges you onto your back. Obediently, you lay down and a bunch of stray loose feathers fly up into the air upon impact.

"Beautiful," he murmurs.

The clothed knee resting between your legs helps his arm support the weight of his body hovering above you. A tentative hand slides down from your shoulder to your hip, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Caressing every scar, memorizing each color and swirl of ink decorating your skin, and erasing any insecurities or blemishes you see in yourself. Cold digits draw whimsical shapes and tickle your abdomen, stopping above your pelvic bone.

"May I?"

"Of course."

Seokmin rejoices in your consent by littering your collarbone with love bites. And his touches move lower, tender despite their mechanical nature. Warmth blossoms and flows under every surface of your skin Seokmin's traced, coiling and settling in a pulsating — almost painful — heat rupturing between your legs.

Only he can be the one to relieve this ache which he precisely aims to do. A simple, single brush across sensitive folds instantly has your breath hitching, shaking beneath him.

"Are you alright?"

"Mhm… yes."

He audibly gulps at your unexpected whimper of ecstasy, reluctantly tearing away from watching amorous bliss overtake your facial expression to the wet heat detected by his pointer finger's sensors. A feral growl rumbles in his chest at the debauched sight of desire beginning to dampen your thighs — the trace of what he's been smelling from you now overloading every single one of his senses as he coaxes more to flow from you. Seokmin's more than thankful for his enhanced vision and the glow of cybernetic technology baring your most intimate parts to him.

Guided by an instinctual impulse, he eases a finger inside. Your back automatically arches off the bed, eliciting a sweet gasp of delight. The cool touch of the digit seized tightly by the pulsating walls of your cunt slowly warms as it adjusts to the welcome intrusion. He soothingly brushes the knuckle of his middle finger across the soft outer flesh of your pussy to relax its grip. Eventually it lets up enough to let him explore further and deeper than your own have ever reached.

"I'm… I'm not sure how best to please you," Seokmin admits, drinking in your every reaction to his curious ministrations. "But there's this urge, this need, to make you feel good. Prep you properly for my… my entry."

By pure accident, he strokes a rough patch of nerves that makes your eyes roll back, hips lifting at the sensation of wanting more of whatever that feeling was, and your quiet noises melt into a loud, needy moan.

"More," you plead, "touch me more, Seok."

He eases his other finger inside without question, grunting at the squeeze that almost prevents him from moving to where you want him the most. But unlike the rest of his quivering body, the prosthesis remains steady, still, and patient. Waiting until it can bully itself and a third finger past your entrance's vice-like clench.

You start pulling on your breasts, trying to alleviate the tingling in them. Seokmin observes with a keen eye and a toothy, fanged grin. After a bit, he leans down to let his tongue trace the underside of one mound, leaving behind a saliva trail shining in the unconventional lighting as he tends to the next. Alternating with playful nips and naughty tugs to your nipples whenever your grip on them falters from the overwhelming pleasure.

So attentive and eager, soon you're writhing beneath him as you hit your peak. One hand grips your hip tightly, surely to leave a bruise with the way it cramps. His other doesn't let up, well-oiled mechanisms continuing to pump in and out of your trembling pussy until you whine from the overstimulation.

His wings fold protectively around both of you like a canopy as you share a tender kiss. Dazed and happy, you tenderly brush back black bangs and play with one of the feathers that's sprouted near the hairline above his ear. He shivers.

"Let me take care of you too."

"Are you sure? What about your shoulder?"

"That's the least of my concerns right now."

"I can still…"

"Later. First, I want to help you."

Suddenly, Seokmin's shy again, flushed cheeks darkening. "I… I think I'm a little different… down there so it's okay if you don't want to… or get scared."

"It's not like I've seen enough dicks to compare whether what you're packing is normal."

The both of you share a goofy laugh that eases the presumed awkwardness. He sits back to unbutton his pants but you stop him.

"May I?"

You might as well have knocked the air out of his lungs. He stares at you wide-eyed and then emphatically nods, finally clearing his throat to squeak out, "Sure."

Ignoring the aftershocks of your earlier orgasm, you sit up and kneel in front of him. Intent on a few minor distractions, your mouth and hands start at his shoulders to work their way down. Imagining you have the power to heal the damage dealt to his body and soul through tender touches.

You see a sad sense of beauty and justice in the patchwork of metal bolts and bark. And as you apply marks of love that bruise and blossom between them, he lets out a content warble. You're quick to undo the button of his pants, both of you gasping at the utterly wet mess seeping through the material when you tug the zipper down with your teeth.

He lifts his hips to help and once he's just as naked as you do you take him in. Anatomy was meagerly touched upon during your days at the convent, so truthfully all you're aware of at the sight of his heavy cock is the need to be filled with it.

And the closest thing to take him is your mouth, jaw already aching before you even open it. Almost reverently, your hands wrap around to stabilize it. Seokmin hisses pleasantly at the contact.

"You don't have to —"

He's cut off by a groan as you inquisitively suckle the tip. The copious amounts of slick smearing from it and down the base taste sweeter than Seungcheol's lollipops and you moan heartily, causing his thighs beneath your elbows to tense at the vibrations.

"Oh, mayfly."

A wing caresses your cheek that bulges as you take more and more of him, Seokmin's hands tearing at the sheets. The tip of another wing tantalizingly drags down your bare back. Your hands begin to explore, finding the puffy edges around the slit from which the thick cock emerges from. His hips jolt upwards at the contact to sensitive tissues, causing you to gag.

"Ah, 'm sorry!"

While he whispers repeated apologies, you're only compelled to take him further. Slowly you get used to the stretch, but no matter how much more you're able to squeeze down your throat there's still enough of his length for both of your hands to play with. It gets easier the more aggressive you get, his cock seeming to respond to your vigor in tandem. Soon you're lost to the haze of whether you're bobbing your head up and down or it's swirling languidly in your mouth on its own accord.

Seokmin's hips stutter but you feel the tremor first pulse against the inner walls of your throat. His cock throbs as you pull off of it, hollowing your cheeks and parting with deliberately powerful suction. A loud pop releases its tip and your hand supports its weighty girth falling forward. You dig the nails of your free hand into the muscle of his quaking thigh, ducking down to teethe at the puffy slit from where his cock must emerge.

Moving on to licking and dragging the point of your tongue along the sizable vein lining the underside causes Seokmin's low groans to turn into a high-pitched trill. Once you reach the swollen, leaking head and nibble on the hard glans, it spasms wildly and finally erupts. From the top slit seeps sweet syrupy fluid that readily overflows into your awaiting, open mouth.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he blabbers.

You'd reply that there's no need for gratitude, perhaps you'd thank him, but the viscous release keeps spilling out. Rivulets trickle well past your lips and coat your chest. Although still in a euphoric daze, his eyes flash with sharp satisfaction. Instantly possessive at the sight of your bare body decorated so erotically.

His wings snap open — filled with purpose — and your face is pressed down into the mattress. Surrounded in a smoky musk as the angelic monstrosity it belongs to and destined to be your mate hovers above.

Your voice comes out hoarse as you raise up onto your elbows and spitefully spit out a black feather. "Do those wings of yours prevent you from being topped or something?"

"I'll let you find out another time, partner," Seokmin huffs, laughter evident despite his apparent breathlessness. He steals a tender kiss, pleased grunting at how your lips — shiny and swollen — taste of him. "But for now…"

Like an anchor, the tech material warmed by your shared body heat and passion winds underneath your hips, keeping them raised. A calloused, ticklish touch roams traces your spine. He draws an occasional spiral here and there as he goes, mindful of your wound, until firmly pinning the nape of your neck to the side, creating the perfect arch of your back.

"I think you'll like this," Seokmin says as if he isn't liking the view below him.

But for you, straight ahead lies the dresser's mirror. It reflects the full manifestation of an independent Plant poised to devour a human in the most intimate sense. The fearsome size of his cock lies heavy on top of your ass, leaking droplets of arousal all over your backside.

"Will it fit?"

"Of course, you are mine to claim and take." His hips just forward and you both moan. "I think we're both wet enough to try."

"I trust you."

"Let me know if it hurts in any way and we'll stop right away, mayfly."

Many troupes of desert-traveling dancers have mesmerized you before. Yet even they can't compare to the graceful and smooth motion of Seokmin releasing your neck to align his tip with the entrance of your cunt and slowly bullying his way in.

Tears of pain mixing to unfathomable pleasure blur the vision of your mouth widening to let out whines and moans. "Seokkie…"

"Mhm, mayfly… my love… my mate."

Finally, the front of his thighs are flush against yours. Hips pressed tight against your ass. Fully sheathed inside your tight hole, neither of you have ever felt such intensity before. He surrenders his body weight on top of yours, hands braced outside of yours clenching loose feathers and silk sheets. The outer heaviness matches the intensity of what your pussy struggles to accommodate.

"Mine."

Seokmin's hips swirl at a slow pace. Rather than thrust, he massages the sensitive glands at the base of his cock with the soft flesh of your ass. His length seems to shrink and grow and writhe with a mind of its own, filling and teasing you nonstop. Leaving no surface of your inner walls untouched or untended to for too long.

"Yours."

You shudder in blissed-out delirium and Seokmin lights up — literally.

Fluorescent lines glow in distinct patterns across skin, brightening the more he starts to pant and build up your shared pleasure. Sharp canines prick into the skin of your unmarked shoulder as he wraps his prosthesis under your stomach to raise your hips, the new position driving you faster to that rapidly approaching edge. You cry out with a lurch, blurrily making out his glowing form that shudders above.

Though the view in the mirror gets hidden by black wings stroking your entire body. Teasing the underside of your tits and tenderly brushing away the stings of his teeth marks.

"I-I love you," Seokmin rasps.

"Love…" You manage to enunciate the words, mind emptying and drool wetting the bed as your second peak approaches. "Love you too."

Pain and pleasure draw forth an onslaught of your apparent arousal that lecherously mixes with the frothy mess dribbling from his cock. Claws appear on Seokmin's right hand, another addition to the bestial Plant features emerging in the throes of passion. He's not completely lost to the primal thrall though, able to resist from breaking skin.

Delicately scratching your waist without drawing blood, then using the finely pointed tips to pluck and tease effortlessly at your clit. You cry out, body shaking as waves of euphoria crash against the shoreline of imminent pleasure.

Seokmin helps ride out your peak with a couple of speedy thrusts. The feeling of his hips slamming into you has you seeing more stars than Gunsmoke's galaxy contains. And just as you're overcome with too much stimulation, he lets go with a particularly strong bite into the top of your shoulder.

His cock softens and its heavy weight like a blanket along with the continual pump of his warm, soothing release. The feeling of it leaving none of your inner walls untouched feels as sweet as it tasted on your tongue and helps ease the ache inside your cunt. Still joined together and slick with stickiness, he collapses onto his side and gently assists you with rolling over so you can face him.

"Hey, you."

"Hello there yourself, lovely mayfly."

Your nose wrinkles but gets smoothed out by feather tips playing with the ends of your hair. Seokmin smiles as you snuggle closer into his chest so two of his wings can cocoon around you as the heated fervor from prior activities cools.

"Did that help?"

"… Yes," he says though his tone wavers with hesitance.

You raise your chin and see the electric blue luster hasn't faded yet from his gaze. Sheepishly, the corner of his mouth raises and you shiver, feeling the swell of his cock stretch out your pussy. The bulge it creates brushes against Seokmin's abdomen and he twitches.

"Sorry, it's… I'm gonna be kinda insatiable now that I've had a taste…" He trails off, wings snapping behind him. Slowly, he pulls his hips away and you both hiss as his cock is dragged out.

"What are you —"

You're cut off by the animalistic glimmer in his gaze, catching the feral smirk that he attempts to hide by licking his palm. Quick as lightning, Seokmin fleetingly swipes the outer lips of your cunt and brings his fingers, tonguing at them. Body set aflame again, neither of your break eye contact as he moans headily.

"But not of this," he rasps.

Before you know it, you're staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on his ceiling with your mate between your legs. His wings trail along your calves, their flexible ends curling near your inner thighs, encouraging them to spread and stay open, pinning them in place.

"Oh, aren't you a beauty?"

He moans shamelessly at the sight of your messy, glistening pussy. You squirm at the ticklish sensation of his feathers and that smoldering, ravenous look. If only he knew what it was like to see him devour you with his mouth.

Delicious.

Just like the feeling of his tongue working its way inside and licking up the shared essence of your releases.

Your fingers weave between strands of hair as black as night, tugging lightly and accidentally snagging one of his ear feathers. He moans eagerly, and the vibration has you shuddering, already quickly nearing another mind-shattering orgasm. But you don't let him carry you there too fast, smooth brain muscles trying to form a question.

"How… long… how long do these cycles last?"

Seokmin presses a loving kiss to your twitching clit and blows, entranced by how you clench around nothing. Then he smirks, elongated teeth shining in the darkness like a predatory warning though you have nothing to fear.

"As much as you can handle but… we're really only just getting started, mayfly."

The motion light kicks on as Seungcheol shifts his boots in the direction of the unlit kitchen area. Junhui and Minghao's entrance awaken the rest of the lights and they frown at the makeshift bunker set up.

"What are you three doing in here?"

Seungkwan sleepily mumbles a curse word and next to him, Mingyu blearily rubs his eyes. A scattering of empty pudding cups and bottles lie around them as well as a disorganized array of poker cards.

"We're afraid to venture out of here."

Junhui shares a secretive look with his closest friend at Seungkwan's cryptic words. "Ah, so that's happened. Or happening."

"'Bout time y'all came 'round. Time for ya to pay up!"

"Pay up for what?"

"Compensation. 'M the one who got the closest to bein' right knowin' they'd fuck after confessin'."

"If anyone needs compensation, it's me for the mental damage of having to make one of my lovelies into an enhanced sex toy."

Seungcheol guffaws. "Ya didn't! Ya lil cheatin', schemin' scientist!"

Meanwhile, Mingyu looks mighty concerned. "Does that mean Seokmin has a dildo for an arm?!"

Minghao crosses his arms with a steely glare. "No."

"Oh good. I don't think I could look at him the same."

"I don't think any of us will ever look at him the same again."

Junhui eagerly rocks back and forth on his heels, hands stuffed in the deep pockets of his lab coat. "Do you think they discovered all the functions and benefits of it yet?"

"Should be our next bettin' round."

"No more bets. I don't care if it's half a double dollar to go in, I refuse to go through this again."

Mingyu elbows his raven-haired companion. "C'mon, your heart's warmed by this!"

"Warmed and consumed by the rage and fury of hellfire, yes."

Giggling, the tall man smiles widely and holds his hand out. "Alright, I win then!"

"Win what? Thought you didn't remember your bet."

Mingyu purses his lips. "Only because none of you took me seriously and joked with a bunch of gross innuendos when I said they'd find their home in one another!" He then sighs dreamily. "But if I'm right, we'll know by tomorrow morning."

"Who says it'll be tomorrow mornin'. Might take weeks. Months even, I reckon'."

"I'll kick you all out before it comes to that," Minghao threatens and runs a hand through the few strands of hair without a bead. He tosses a wad of money in front of Mingyu. "Never involve me in this again."

Despite all the grumbling, everyone has a sense of lightness in their hearts at the thought of their dear friends finally getting together. And the happiest of them all is Mingyu, who cheerily gathers his prized double dollars, dreaming of all the pudding he can buy.

A lone figure stands on the edge of the valley of the Melca Border. The Sea of Sand, aptly named, can change tide and turn vicious at any second. Their cloak billows in the sandy winds that whip around them, though even the steadfast hood can't hide the satisfied smile on their face.

"You did well," they commend and the name that falls from their lips is one some might consider lost to the sands of time.

"Saintess." Another figure materializes out of the sand gusts in response to the praise. "It is to be done as you said."

"Very well. Shall we go now?"

Whether it's the mysterious sands that swirl around and whisk them away or the lost technology cube that transports them, no one will ever know for no one ever saw them. Like ghosts, they disappear and find themselves outside the real ghost town — where it all began.

A toma croaks in the distance. Brave travelers dare cross the ruined wasteland and the saintess meditating atop one of the largest rocks hidden in the shadows opens her gray eyes tinted by lilac in the glow of the moons to observe. Despite all of her traveling, the white robes wrapped around her body remain in pristine condition.

She turns behind to look at the man standing over a scattering of stones, staring intently at one of them. With poise and purpose, she dusts off her clothes and strides over to him.

"Chan."

Brown eyes tear away from his own name carved into the headstone in front of him to look at the one who's said it aloud.

"Yes, Saintess?"

"Do you regret it?"

"No. Never."

"Good," she states, satisfied with his response. With a grand sweep of her hood to cover short, dark hair, she gestures to the east. "We will set up camp one more night before returning to the Saint in the morning before he speaks with our Master."

Chan mutely nods, following the saintess back into the desert where she confidently leads him to a cave that will shield them from the unpredictable nature of Gunsmoke's wastelands. He thinks of you, the girl he must keep safe and two brothers. One with wings as pure white despite his continual revelry with hate-filled darkness, the other bearing ones the complete opposite color of his twin — a wild card.

He reminisces over the Blessed and Holy Sisterhood of Little Ivywood, the convent and all the orphans that lived there. Pondering Sister Meryl's role, who stands before him now as the revered Saintess, leader for the Eye of Joshua and second only to the Bishop of the cult named after himself. She moves curious little statues back and forth across the surface of a large flat rock and the young man can't help but ask her a question in the unnerving silence.

"Do you think this will work?"

Meryl smiles elusively, as always. She picks up the smallest one with a deliberate flourish, placing it on a blackened space close to the last row of alternating squares carved into the stone's surface.

"Have you ever played chess before?"

"No, what is it?"

"An Earthern board game. It is quite complicated." Gesturing to the piece she just moved, she continues. "This is a pawn, the weakest of all chess pieces."

Chan bristles. "But strength comes in numbers, no? There are eight of each color, surely the right side can find a way to win."

Unfazed by his agitation, the saintess nods placatingly. "With the right strategy, even a pawn may become a queen — the most powerful. Unpredictable." She points to a white figurine with a cross on top of it. "Enough to checkmate a king."

Entranced, Chan watches as she rearranges and repositions various pieces across the faux chessboard. Soon, the pawn that took on the mantle of a Black Queen captures the White King. His eyes roam what's left on the battlefield at the end of the match, pointing to one that looks like a tower.

"What's that one?"

"A rook. It best supports an allied pawn towards promotion from behind the scenes." Her eyes sparkle mischievously. "It's most powerful during the end of the game, as you can see."

Chan gulps, holding his breath for a moment, and clears his throat. "Then I'm ready."

"Wonderful," Meryl nods, "we'll depart for Master Dokyeom's stronghold in the morning. I'm sure Joshua, our dear Saint, will be… pleased upon our return."

"To the glory of the Black King's rise."

"And to the glory of our so-called queen."

Keep him safe, Chan thinks to himself as he settles on the ground. And yourself. One day we'll reunite in the most joyous of occasions…

He pulls out a faded wanted poster with the infamous outlaw worth sixty billion double dollars, donning a wishful smile before closing his eyes and murmuring, "I'd even bet this impossible amount on it."

onlyseokmins: April 2024 ©

#ez.creates #svthub #svt.smut #dokyeom smut #dk smut #seokmin smut #lee seokmin smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #kpop smut #trigun au #svt au #seventeen au

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enden-k · 2 months

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I lob it art omg it’s just PERFECTTTTTT

Idk if you could go into detail (or if you’ve already talked abt it) but how’d you come up with the designs for ur kavetham witch au? They look so cool they make me want to consume them like cake 🍰

ok i think i told the story of how i created fantasy au a few times already but sjkbackc i dont mind

april 2023 i was prefarming for kaveh mats. was during the interdarshan championship update, kaveh was released in the 2nd half so i spent quite some time in the newly dropped sumeru region (realm of farakhkert/gavireh lajavard) to farm mourning flowers and fungal spores

i doodled hthm working hard to farm for kvh and him with the lil fungi and their big hats gave me an idea to draw him with a big hat like a cool witch. thought about it more and came up with a neat idea for a story so yea, my au and witchtham lit was inspired by the fungi while i was in the middle OF DRAWING THIS PIECE AHHA

(i think i said before when i talked about my ocs that i have a "problem" of always coming up w concepts and ideas and stories and whatever super fast. i can like, listen to one track or look at one thing and immediately get an idea for a fully fleshed out story. my brain is almost always full w stuff, its a blessing and a curse bc i cant work on 100 things at the same time. im not srsly complaining btw ok🧍‍♀️)

me lit the same day:

and boom, doodled the idea out and it turned into a big au now AHHA

i rlly just wanted to draw him w a biiiiig hat and since im a SUCKER for badass witches and like, this very specific, amano aesthetic i have, i came up w smth that is still hthm but smth witchy

at first the idea rlly just was prince kaveh and witch haitham and kaveh being cursed and hiring haitham for his services; them on a journey trying to break the curse and falling in love with each other

over the year i fleshed the idea out more and more, changed their designs a little, thought of the entire story, designed the rest of the party and yea........this au is literally my baby <3 (its almost 4am rn so im sry if my answer is a bit short or rushed, i just wanted to answer it asap without rambling too much bc im always excited talking abt it ajkcbsk)

i love drawing it, i love talking about it, if theres more questions feel free to ask !! 💙

#reply #fantasy au #long post

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daz4i · 6 months

Text

yknow what i have nothing to do and need to distract myself from *gestures vaguely* and i mentioned it a few times in the last few days so i may as well talk abt that one theory i like

first of all let me say. it's not my own original theory lol i can't remember where i saw it first but it's p common so it'd be a bit hard to trace who was the first to bring it up

second. i know it contradicts some themes or at least some messages bsd is going for. which is why i don't think it's too likely (on the other hand some elements in the story can def allow a plot point of that sort to happen without being contradictory asdfhg matter of perspective ig)

ANYWAY the actual theory:

dazai knows he's in a story and aware that he is a character

backup for that theory:

honestly not much. a minor fourth wall break for laughs (the "wow~" scene. you know the one) isn't really proof, but if it was true it'd add some depth to that scene i think!

the main thing i think is cool abt this theory is how it recontextualizes a lot of things about him;

the thing that made me think abt making this post is that collection of dazai saying "you can't kill me" at various points of the story. most of them have context for each scene (atsushi can't kill him bc nlh will nullify the tiger, fyodor can't kill him bc he has the power of friendship, etc), but the fact the same line repeats multiple times makes it stand out to me

so consider this: dazai is confident that he won't die because he knows he can't die before the story is over, bc that's what the narrative decided. that's why none of his suicide attempts ever work (tho you already know my opinion on why that is, in the context of the story itself). he keeps trying tho bc man. it's tiring to be aware

that being said! well. we know he's been suicidal from a very young age. he sees no meaning in the act of living. and, being a character in a story, knowing that your life is all fake, can certainly make one's life feel meaningless, huh.

and ofc, alienation from those around him, since he seems to be the only one aware of the story. he is quite literally separate from the human experience bc of this

also some more angst :) i do firmly believe dazai feels a lot of guilt, more for meta reasons than him really showing it. guilt is a very big repeating element in no longer human and its protag yozo, whom i think dazai is obviously very inspired by. soooooo now consider this :) guilt over odasaku's death. in the context of the story, there is no reason for him to feel that, more or less. maybe nothing beyond "if only i called ango out earlier" "if only i got there in time and got him help", he didn't actually cause oda's death, not more than mori did for example, and he did the best he could too.

buuuuuuut what if he's a character in a story. he doesn't know if the story is about him yet, but given how other people around him don't seem to notice they're characters, it must be, right? the narrative depends on him. and, in that narrative, odasaku ends up dying. if he didn't exist, odasaku could live (really interesting to think abt that in the context of beast, too)

actually since i brought it up. beastzai definitely seems to know he's a character. he knows his existence doesn't mean much, i mean his whole universe is just an offshoot of the main one, literally an au of canon. that's even more meaninglessness on top of canonzai's meaninglessness, and he experienced both of them at once. no wonder he ended up killing himself damn 😩 (sorry this is a joke. ik he killed himself for some noble reason. but also i bet this made it easier)

an awareness of this level can explain some things like how dazai knows things are gonna play out in certain ways - he knows he's in a story, so he knows the narrative has to end in some satisfying way. the main characters have to win, so the doa have to lose. fyodor can't kill him. and we're back to the start

problem with this theory:

that thing i mentioned abt themes and messages in bsd. a lot of the story seems to tell us dazai is HUMAN. having him aware of everything on a meta level, imo, may cheapen that message, bc that quite literally makes him More than others in the universe.

then again the story (and asagiri in interviews lol) also seems to show again and again that he is exceptional and knows best so eh. like i said, matter of perspective

how i think it might work:

no longer human lmao

yknow how it was said The Book was created by an ability (and that's probably why it caused a singularity when beastzai touched it). well. what if the whole narrative we're following, in a way, in the universe of bsd, can count as an ability too. like a combination of The Book and poe's ability, kinda. (i've seen some theories in the past abt how asagiri is gonna be the final boss of bsd lol and that he would indeed have an ability that's just. *gestures at everything* this)

sooooo while nlh can't take him out of the story physically, it nullifies his ignorance to the situation. in a way, he's out of the story because he sort of watches it from an angle others can't

ok i officially ran out of brain power. i might add more in a reblog at some other point but for now these are the only thoughts i have. if you subscribe to that theory as well, or even just thing it's cool, i would love to hear some of your ideas - what other parts of dazai and his story do you think this changes? what does it mean about his relationships with other characters? please share if you have any thoughts on the matter!!! :)

#also as usual if you disagree that's fine just be nice about it hehe #dan rambles #maybe in that future addition i will brainstorm what that means abt his relationships etc.#but feel free to do it for me :P i'm too sleepy to think now

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arudoe · 5 months

Note

talk about bruise anything you want, i wanna hear

YAAAY MORE BRUISE

i alr talked about some hcs so ill chat a bit about some aus i have heehee!

- idol jay au !

i feel like this one is prolly the most well known (only because its the only one ive ever drawn for….) but basically jay is an idol/musician and cole is his nr1 fan! it was very inspired by prime empire and also those like harry styles x reader wattpad fics from back in the day… yeah…

all ive got for the story so far is that cole went to a fansign event and while getting his magazine signed jay also sneaks his personal phone number on one of the pages (something along tbe lines of xxx-xxx-xxx text me o_<) and… yeah things move on from there 🙏🙏

- mad scientist jay and his creature cole

OKAYY this might be one of my weirder ones but i think about it a lot 😭😭

anyways jay is a disabled basement dweller college dropout scientist guy and one day he kind of feels some paranormal presence in his lab and conducts a bunch of tests and comes to tbe conclusion there is a ghost floating around in his lab. so like the normal person he is he tries to communicate with it but only gets a bunch of weird cryptid messages that dont make sense… so he comes to bright idea of “hey! i should make this ghost a vessel they can possess!” so he makes a body frankenstein style and low and behold his plan worked!

cole, a ghost from the 80s who possessed the body is now chilling in jays lab with him, but like most people who have been dead for over 40 years he is very curious about the outside world and what has changed.

but jay for some reason is very adamant about him not going outside at all, which causes some tension between the two..

(the reason is jay has abandoned issues) (also cole is kind of a freak of nature) (affectionately)

I LIKE THIS AU A LOT cus its so stupid honestly and i love me some ghost cole also like im still mad about how ninjago decided to completely discard jays love for inventing… let the man make his little trinkets…

- wizard school au

basically what it sounds like… they are wizards.. at a wizard school… and do magic…

yes this was partly inspired by h*rry p*tter BUT ONLY THE VIBES (i barely remember the movies)

BUT UM this is like a whole universe thing and theres so so much lore and world building so… if u want a separate post about it… lmk

- roommates au!

this is my most recent one (and the one i think about the most) but um yeah pretty self explanatory it was based off this jdrama/manga called good morning call so uhhh ya!

basically cole and jay were enemies throughout highschool and basically spend all their energy hating each other but they to their separate ways during college but reunite (unwillingly) as roommates!

they navigate living with each other and learn to let go of their hate (which stemmed from a mixture of misunderstandings and insecurities) and then eventually fall in love!!

i think this is the au i have the most work done on (i have a draft for every major scene that happens in the story heehee) and perhaps! one day i will actually make it a real thing !

so um yeah! i have a bunch more but most of them are very unfinished or just… vague ideas or vibes i go by… i also have some aus that arent bruise so um if anyone wants to hear about those… smiles

BUTTT TYSM FOR UR QUESTION i dont rly say this a lot but any interaction i get with my content means the world to me and i always giggle and kick my feet when reading reblog comments bc everyone is so nice 🥹🥹

#ardosyapping #bruiseshipping

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canpandaspvp · 3 months

Note

KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE SBI FIC THING IM REALLY INTERESTED!! I've always wanted to study that side of the fandom under a microscope but it's scary.

buddy that place is WILDDDD. ok so things you need to know abt sbi side

1. they're damn good writers

2. i don't think they know how to write fanfiction

3. in another universe they create some very well known, published authors

because essentially everything they write is so fucking detached the second it enters an au. with dnf and the general dt side of things, there are differences. sure often times it's a bit more identifiable as fanfiction but that's not a BAD thing. it literally just means people know how to write fanfiction which is what they were intending to do anyways so like hooray

with sbi, i've read SEVERAL (as in i can go into my bookmarks right now and count out at least 10) fics that have just changed and deviated so far from the original source material that it's hard to even understand what they're talking about. in that regard, 100% dnfers get caught out before sbiers, but that's only in the circumstance that they get published at all. sbiers are really creative -- TOO creative, obviously to the point of creation ocs with names and descriptions that often times only vaguely resemble phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno -- which gives them the upper hand publication wise.

that leads into dark sbi which, let it be known, i have NEVER EVER liked. i personally thought it was harsh and unenjoyable but also goddamn did they make some good stories. obviously i read them bc even though i hated the vampires and the kidnapping and shit, it was good. the upper hand of writing fanfiction is that shit is more fast paced and attention grabbing, due to the lack of exposition and shit. so sbiers likely get published first, get discovered on booktube (not booktok cause they only read romance that's packed with tropes to the point of dysfunction), and they at least semi-spread from there until someone is who can't handle any difficult topics in fiction gets upset. but that's a different kind of controversy entirely

sbiers are good authors but they're stuck in this weird limbo of "it's not fanfiction it's just inspired original content" which sort of creates a new genre entirely. they pull some good fanfiction elements into its own realm entirely and it's really frustrating when you want to read fanfiction of something but if you're looking for something fast paced and good to read that aligns with the weird fanon universe they've created, they're your subfandom.

a lot of fics also appeal to personal issues that people are able to project onto easily (i speak from experience) so, while dnf is typically shorter, more accurate, and lighthearted, sbi has dynamics that people often crave in their real life and more people that they can insert themselves into. um that sounds weird but ykwim

they also have The AU's which dnf has but it's just not to the extent that sbi has it. the trifecta:

1. superhero aus

2. royalty aus

3. foster care aus

ran that tag for a good 2 years minimum. those are the sort of Peter Parker Goes On A Field Trip To Stark Industries type of aus where you have a good baseline that people get attached to, so you can sort of rewrite the same story different enough that people feel like they're reading smth new each time. and it works!! if people were to publish an sbi fic (which would likely fall into one of those 3 categories), it'd be realllyyyyyy recognizable just bc it was such a staple in the community. ifl im missing some other big categories but those are just the aus that i remembered off the top of my head that showed up a fuckton

don't get me wrong, i ❤️ dnf fanfiction and you def could publish it if you tried hard enough, but those authors do shit right. the characterization is so niche and specific, the dynamics are so unique, and often times, there just isn't enough in one fic to build and create a story. so much of dnf fanfiction relies on the fact that you already know those two, you know who they are, how they behave, their stakes regarding each other, etc etc. with sbi, the authors end up essentially writing their own stories so much so that they have to tell the story like it's a novel rather than fanfiction. it's very interesting imo esp bc fanon tommy for example is so extremely, incomprehensibly different from c!tommy or cc!tommy, with only enough hits of similarity to keep you hooked into the story with the illusion that you're actually reading the same character, when more often then not, it's like 1/4 tommy, 1/4 fandom misinterpretation interpretation, 1/4 author projection, and 1/4 recycled oc. again, speaking from experience.

also, sbi authors are pretty cocky about their writing, and it's really noticeable when they write a fic with the intention of changing the names and couple minor details to submit to an editing company for a few rounds of revision before they publish their nyt bestseller a few years down the line. they didn't need to leave the fandom to abandon their shit. lorehead analysts have a decent grasp of their content (but i'm biased), but lorehead writers?? different monster entirely. the second dsmp stands for something like "delicious small mtown pforsuperherovillanvigilanteshenanigans" then you know they're too far gone. they're attached to THEIR characters, not the dsmp's; if it means sacrificing the original source material for real life recognition, they'd do it in a heartbeat. i don't blame them but the point still stands.

this is all over the place i'm so sorry idek if i said anything you wanted to know but

tl;dr sbi fanfiction sort of became its own medium between fanfiction and original work so they're more likely to get published, but they fall into the same dynamics in the same type of universes that would easily get them figured out. dnf writers just seem to mind their damn business more. anyway, most dnf writers that left the fandom seem to want to completely forget that they ever did That. usually they just orphan/delete and move on cause they're embarrassed.

sorry again i'm so not good at explaining my thoughts but i did NOT spend 2 1/2 years reading sbi fanfiction 24/7 for nothing. i need to put my experience to use somehow so thanks for letting me do that 😭😭😭

#at least i'm not gonna do another separate essay rant in the notes like i usually do #💀#🍓.ask

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jup1ter-moon · 1 year

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alright i said i'd talk about the eah au so here's some basic info ; !! i decided to not map the rtc characters directly onto those from eah bc that would cause way too many issues , so instead its just their fairytale parents (some take inspiration from eah characters, some don't) karnak is the equivalent of milton grimm, the headmaster of the school (and the one in charge of everyones destinies) think like how the songs in rtc are pre-choreographed - but for their entire life jane doe (not linked to penny lamb) : unknown fairy tale parent that's what makes her a jane doe , since no-one knows what story she is supposed to follow (i have decided on who her fairy tale parent actually is but i'll keep it a secret for now penny lamb : red riding hood tammy edwards : goldilocks ocean : snow white honestly i see ocean and apple white as very similar people so this was very easy tbh . bonus , ocean has the same problem as apple with being insecure about her hair colour being different from her mother's (can't remember if that plotline is in the episodes but it's mentioned in the books a lot) noel : evil queen basically this sets up a fun frenemy dynamic between him + ocean :3 ricky : cheshire cat a cat woman from another dimension ? literally a no brainer constance : sleeping beauty i think there's something to be said about the similarities between the storylines of constance's monologue about being the "nicest" girl in town + briar beauty's revealing of how she truly feels about her destiny . they could work in a similar way mischa : kyrilo the tanner me and a friend did some research into ukranian fairytales for both mischa and talya :3 (it slipped my mind to do the same research for astrid, sorry </3) talia : vasilisa the beautiful corey : prince charmings kind of a mix between dexter and daring charming ? like, just a massive loser but he tries to be cool about it trishna : cupid <3 hank : frog prince astrid : huntsman

#ride the cyclone #ever after high #penny's eah au #rtc #jupiter speaks

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cruciomione · 6 months

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Ooooo those all sound delicious! Would love to hear more about #5!

so basically this is the first thing i ever wrote for sydcarmy. had the idea after finishing the show for the first time when i thought sydney was being honest about eating at the Beef every sunday.

the idea is that carmy and sydney are the same age (17/18 and seniors in HS) met as kids and have been best friends since. i love the idea of them having each other as opposed to growing up as lonely kids. Like they are super codependent, peas in a pod. They both are aspiring culinary students and want to apply and go to the CIA after they graduate together. Both for different reasons that they aren’t fully honest about. They both have the passion and talent for it. Sydney really wants to be a culinary wunderkind and it’s all wrapped up in trying to achieve great things bc her mom died early. While Carmy it’s so he can make the Beef better and earn Mikey’s respect.

i wanted it to be a coming of age story. It’s basically set 10 years in the past so like 2012. so everyone is about 10 years younger. Mikey dies like he does in canon. Nat is a uni student/grad student who has to take a gap year to replace mikey’s role and take care of Donna and Carmy. The story would open up in the summer and the day before the first day of school. Carmy has been going to some type of group grief counseling aimed at teenagers Nat forced him to go all summer and him and sydney have been avoiding the topic of mikey’s death. this becomes a point of contention for them.

it’s not fleshed out at ALL. bc i did think of this when i had a very very base level understanding of the characters and overall themes. idk if i’m gonna continue writing this or maybe scrap most of it but here’s a sneak peek of a bit of chapter 2 which is in sydney POV. and was inspired by this scene in shameless where Lip and Karen are under the L train. i liked the idea of sydney and carmy hanging out here esp when they want to let out their frustrations or just simply talk and rant to each other.

sydney eats at the berzattos about twice a month on sundays. sydney and carmy made his Nonnas tiramisu recipe and snuck a few beers.

ITS ROUGH. and my writing has improved a lot since i wrote this way back in the summer. i think the only thing stopping me from continuing this AU is not really knowing how sydney fits in the berzatto dynamic apart from nat carm and richie. like it almost feels like torture putting her anywhere around donna period but to grow up around her??? would emmanueal even allow that even tho in this AU he loves carmy like a son. idk

#sydcarmy

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sweetrabbit · 2 years

Text

Sherlock Know ‘’

⌕ pairings : Kim Seungmin x gn! Reader (elder brother! Lee Minho)

⌕ genre : fluff, non-idol au, lee know is overprotective and kind of a tsundere?? purely platonic on lee knows part ofc.. 🕵️‍♂️

⌕ synopsis : how would Minho react to his sibling going on a date with Kim Seungmin, or worse, dating Kim Seungmin?

⌕ warning/s : mentions of murder but used in a playful manner

⌕ a/n : i feel like my writing progressively worsened over time bc i havent been writing lately so im so so sorry if its bad 😭

inspired by “skz with little sibling! reader” by @barely-lino + “they don’t know about us.” by @lavenderlattaes

“Where are you going?” Minho catches them getting ready, it’s not like their friends are over nor was he informed they’d be even going out, so what could they possibly go to for them to dress up on a breezy friday night. Doongie, Soonie and Dori are crowding at his feet waiting for attention as he watches his little sibling smile at their phone standing in front of the body sized mirror in their room. “None of your business, Minho.”

“Do whatever you want~ but don’t expect me to pick you up past 9..” and he wouldn’t tell anyone, but he was definitely a nosy one, sitting in his room Soonie curled into a ball, Minho sat and tried to think of every possibility of why Yn was getting all ready.

And then it clicked. His little sibling was gonna go on a date! But with who? Definitely not his Chan Hyung, though they’ve met, not once have they interacted so that wasn’t possible, Changbin was far too busy in the gym. It could be anyone really, but he prays to the lords above – even if he’s an atheist – it is anyone but Kim Seungmin.

and the familiar ding of their door rang, hopefully it was their parents so he could bust them. Minho takes prideful strides towards the front door of their home, he is welcomed to a tall slim boy with his hair neatly styled into a middle part. “What do you want, Kim Seungmin?” ready to shut the door on his face, Yn is quick to appear at his side. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting..” they seemed nervous, and that’s all it took for Minho’s brain to malfunction, he froze.

His once confident smirk seemed to shatter.

“I’ll be home before midnight!” the cheery voice of his sibling snapped him out of his trance. “Yah Kim Seungmin, come back here with my sibling!”

“don’t worry about my brother, he could.. be capable of murder but he is completely harmless.” pecking their boyfriend's cheek. “I don’t think he likes me”

“Just give him some time, babe. He’s like a cat, you know, it takes some time for him to warm up to you!” rubbing his hand reassuringly while his other wraps on the steering wheel.

little did the cute couple know, Yn’s older brother was right on their tails. Putting on a very decent outfit for wherever the two were going, he grabbed his car keys, he’d made sure the cats were well off on their own before going into his car and following the two.

Seungmin and Yn had entered a nearby restaurant with few people, ordering some buk chang dong sundubu and a set of ribs.

“You look really pretty today..” Seungmin smiles softly, a light glow of the light adorning his features; pink spreading throughout his cheeks as he tries to hide behind his palms.

Grabbing his hands and intertwining their fingers together, Yn smiles back at their boyfriend “You look handsome today too.” They smile softly, staring lovingly at him.

They mirrored each other's lovesick expressions, and if anyone were to see them they’d think ‘oh what a lovely couple.’, but definitely not Minho, he stared intently at Seungmin, and he did eventually accept him dating his sibling, but he couldn’t do that without a big scary talk. He hid behind the menu instead of scanning it, the waitress waiting for him.

It felt like yesterday when he had scared them with the grasshopper he’d found in the garden, giggling menacingly at Yn’s small form scurrying towards his mother. Now he reminisces the memories of growing up with them, and this was only part of it. When did they become old enough to softly kiss Seungmin in public with little fear of others watching them? He’d frown a little ‘they’re all grown up..’

“I hope I’m not being rude, but are you still going to order, Sir? We wish to avoid any disturbances.” The waitress snaps him out of his inner monologue, his eyes move away from the couple momentarily forgetting the speech he was preparing. “Ah yes sorry, I’ll just have jjajangmyeon.” he smiles in embarrassment before handing the menu back to the waitress with a quick bow.

and the night went by quickly, the mere thought of murdering Kim Seungmin rarely passed his mind, infact he was more happy for the two but no one had to know about that, he still had the speech in his mind all ready for the time Yn decides to bring Seungmin over. He had left the restaurant with a full stomach and a happy mood.

The couple on the other hand left the restaurant not too long after Minho, opting to go to a park before calling it a night.

“Why don’t you want to sit on the grass?” Seungmin draped his hand over his lover’s shoulders, pressing a kiss on their temple, keeping his head on theirs. “Minho threw a grasshopper at me when we were kids and I never trusted grass ever since..” They both sat comfortably on a bench, giggling at one another, both because of the flashback.

“Do you see the star that shines the brightest?” Seungmin points out, his lover hums in return “that star reminds me of you because no matter how dull the world can be, you always seem to shine no matter what. Always standing out the best way you can and that’s why I love you.” He stares into Yn’s eyes as they crinkle into crescents, not being able to hold back the large smile on their face, cheeks burning red. Seungmin finds their reaction adorable, going to kiss them “Could you say that again?”

“Were you not listening?” he frowns a little, the sight tugs at Yn’s heart “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.” and now it was Seungmin’s turn to fluster, his puppy eyes closed trying to hide into their shoulder. “Ah stop it~” he whines, his lover chuckles at him “C’mon let's go home, I don’t want Minho coming at your neck because we were a minute late to 12” hand in hand the entire drive back to Yn’s home, stupidly in love smiles plastered on their faces.

“Thank you for tonight, honey.” Yn kisses Seungmin’s lips, smiling into the kiss.

They wave goodbye as Yn enters their home. Going into their room to get unready, still completely pink from what happened. “How was your date with Kim?” Minho leaned on the door frame, a knowing smirk on his face.

“I know you were at the restaurant, Minho.”

taglist: @i2abella @hwaranghae

#kim seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin #stray kids #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin stray kids #seungmin stray kids #seungmin x you #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin scenarios

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reel-fear · 7 months

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👁️👁️

You must tell 👀

*rubs my little hands together* sorry for taking a bit on answering this! My brain has not been braining lately but your ask couldn't have come at a better time bc Grant has been on the mind as of late and I am hyped at the excuse to infodump abt him- [this is gonna be long I am so sorry-]

now for quick disclaimers for anyone reading this that isnt the asker or me- we're not discussing canon Grant Cohen, we're talking my Grant, this black haired dude, that guy. Another fun disclaimer, I was HEAVILY, inspired by Grant's role/character in abomination for my Grant. Taking time to awknowledge every part of his character or story that was inspired by it would make this 10x longer so if similarities are spotted know its very likely I did that on purpose bc I just really love abomination KJHFSDGKJDHGSD-

Alright with that outta the way I'ma talk a lot abt what happens to Grant in the canon of Showtime to explain what I meant and also maybe a bit of me rambling about aus that explore Grants relationship with Sammy n Joey under a more romantic lens. Should be obvious but spoilers for It's Showtime down below~

So Grant in Showtime after he dies ends up joining the ink demon cult, becoming a lost one and earning the title of The Priest.

When the cult was all together him and Sammy worked together to run it. Sammy used his connection to the ink demon to recieve messages and learn more on how to survive in this new situation and Grant made sure the lost ones acted accordingly. [A role not so far off from the one he was forced to take when the studio started facing troubles before his death] Grant also took the job of dealing with sacrificing souls and sending them back to the dark puddles, which sometimes was members of the following chosen at random and sometimes whatever poor soul found themselves captured by them.

However when Malice rose from the puddles and made a deal with the Projectionist to seize a considerable amount of the studio as theirs, the cult was split up, Sammy and Jack forced to flee to the music department and Grant with the rest of the following being down in the area of Chapter 4. This put Grant in a very bad spot, the lost ones were very shaken by this event and since then Grant worries their faith in him has wavered.

An important thing with the ink demon cult was that it is meant to be a more realistic take on how a cult works. The Ink Demon runs the cult, he is the most powerful figure in it and yet the hardest to contact, so Grant and Sammy are little more than middlemen tasked with keeping things running or else they face the ink demon's wrath. Sammy is sadly very aware that the ink demon is not as benevolent as he or the lost ones would like the believe. Grant likes to think being the Priest will at the very least protect him if things go wrong, but he is sadly mistaken.

Grant is in a very dangerous spot, he knows the lost ones beneath him are getting angsty and worried about just how truthfully safe the cult is or if they should believe in the power of the ink demon. But he also knows if things fall apart the lost ones will come to tear him apart long before they go for the ink demon. Despite him merely being a puppet for their lord. A role Grant is not ready to acknowledge, not because he isn't smart enough to see he is just a pawn, but because he chooses not to think about it, less his paranoia eat him alive yet again... A very important thing to keep in mind with Grants character.

Grant did in fact play this role in life as well however, when things started going wrong in the studio, Joey was very quick to turn away from what was going on and continue asserting everything would be fine. Which while a lie he himself believed was a lie nonetheless. However Grant quickly became his right hand man as people like Thomas and Wally started noticing cracks forming all through out the studio. Staff going missing, the ink changing in the way it behaved and an eerie feeling the machine created in both of them.

Grant despite deep down being smart enough to know things were going poorly, parroted Joey's words, hanging off of them himself and doing whatever he could to shut down any attempts to bring to light the things going wrong. Of course, him and Joey both ended up paying the price for their lies, but so did everyone else around them. But unlike Sammy, Grant barely even seemed shaken to see that, like a conspiracy theorist seeing evidence their theory isn't true only makes them double down harder, Grant only seemed to double down on the idea that if he followed every order he was given. Surely things would turn out better this time.

So that's canon to the story of Showtime, but I do want to take a second to get some AU non canon ideas out of my brain centering around Grant and his relationship to both Joey n Sammy. In canon Grant's only romantic interest is Thomas, his literal husband and there is a lot of interesting conflict there, but I fucking love shipping so of course I have a million aus merely indulging in ships I think would also be interesting to explore in their own contexts. In this case, I'm gonna ramble a bit about Sammy x Grant and Grant x Joey and the interesting things I think there are to explore in their relationships in Showtime.

So you might've noticed that while not literally [as saying the ink demon is Joey in Showtime, while somewhat true, is not the entire truth of the situation and simplifies it quite a bit] Grant did end up following Joey to the grave... And then kept following him beyond it. Something that is objectively~ very queer of him.

There's just something so compelling about the idea of Grant yearning for Joey so much, being so close yet so far as his right hand man but not being brave enough to become his lover eventually drove Grant's love for Joey to become an outright obsession. The idea that Grant's feelings for Joey became so intense from how hard he pushed them down it blinded him from seeing the truth of the situation outside of the way Joey painted it. Then dying and his obsession turning into an outright worship of him.

The idea of Grant settling for just being Joey's favorite lackey, his most loyal pet and knowing that's his role but not caring bc at least it makes him stay by Joey's side. Ohh it's an interesting one to say the least. I even did a few sketches of them u can see-

They are doomed by the narrative to me and have been on my mind a lot lately can ya tell? KJDHSFGKJHDFSGKJHDFGSD

However when it comes to Sammy and Grant, I think there is a lot of interesting potential between them too. After all they share being the Ink Demon's henchmen in all of this and to see them both come to terms with that and try to find comfort in each other is such a fun idea to me.

An au where they both decide to ditch the cult and the ink demon and on their own try to figure out what happened to Joey and how to fix things is very compelling to me. I could see their relationship starting out as doing all these things for each other under the excuse they just need comfort until it starts to turn to actual feelings for each other. Both of them coming to terms with the fact Joey was not in fact a perfect person and maybe didn't even know how bad things were getting deep down himself but also finally letting themselves hold him accountable for the lies he told... It's a very fun healing narrative and very in line with a lot of the themes It's Showtime deals with.

Either way, I just really love what I've done with Grant's character in It's Showtime, he's for sure one of the most fascinating to me and the themes his story explores are ones that are important to the story as a whole and by extension me. Umm this turned out very long but I hope u enjoyed the read! Tysm for the excuse to infodump abt him, I was itching for one as u can see KDJHGKJDHFGKJDHFGSD.

#ramblez #dont think Ill main tag this since its very rambley and contains spoilers for its showtime-#but its okay to reblog n such #esp since I dont care tooooo much for spoiling my own stories #for me my stories should hold up regardless of whether or not youre surprised by what happens in em #but if anyone does care abt spoiling Showtime for themselves if or when I make it an actual fan game/story #do beware of this post KDJHFSGKJFGHJSD #sammy x grant #grant x joey #grammy #death and taxes #Music Multiplied #I think those are the ship names?#mostly for blacklisting reasons on here but if I can feed those crackships at least a little with this rant hey good for them <3 #anyways fun tag secrets Ill put some fun trivia abt my grant in here #he uses the tommy gun instead of alice in showtime its joeys gun but he has it after everything goes to crap he mostly only uses it #just to keep norman away from the cult tho just know he is armed and dangerous and feral and unhinged and-#the cages in the chapter 4 area are used by grant as punishment for those who speak out or for people who havent yet come around to #worshipping the ink demon. obviously people in cages take priority as sacrifice options #my grant might struggle from a paranoia disorder I based him more off my own expierences and a bit off of research on ppl with OCD #Im not confident enough in my understanding of OCD to diagnose him with it straight up but he does almost for sure struggle with some sort #of paranoia disorder #anyways thats it tyty for the ask again and sorry for writing #five hundred paragraphs in response-

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ahundredtimesover · 4 months

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Hey Mimi!

It is my first time sending you a message, I thought I should let you know how much I love your work. I think I came across one of your JK fic about 3 years ago, probably PLM and I haven’t stop reading you ever since. I think its time to finally let you know, its the least I could do as one of your reader ☺️

Not gonna lie, I’m kind of picky when it comes to the plot and universes/themes but plm and inevitable became my comfort fics (and my favorite too) and I regularly read again some of my favourite parts, like the big fight in plm part 2 lol (you made me cry……)

I love your stories as a whole but to me you’re the author that write the best angsty pieces and I am a sucker for angsty fics, hardships, heartbreaks and all that stuff with happy endings so thats why I absolutely love reading you ! Its like you read my mind but write even better fics.

To be honest I wasn’t sure I was going to enjoy the work environment of IWYTS and the boss/assistant dynamics, not usually what I tend to read, but once again its you and I ended up reading the first 2 chapters until 4am yesterday. So yeah I can’t wait to read the next chapters and its definitely going to be another masterpiece :) it took you half of a chapter to prove me wrong actually.

I ended making this ask about me when I wanted to tell you how amazing of an author you are and thank you for sharing your passion with us, taking the time to write such beautiful stories. Its really impressive to see how you build your characters with amazing and deep personalities, how easy it is to understand them even if we are not alike at all, we get attached to them nonetheless, and how perfectly written the storylines are. I think we can all tell how hard you work on those aspects and I have so much respect for authors, I guess it takes time and a lot of self-indulgence and its really inspiring! I even think of writing for myself after reading for the nth time my favorite fics of you bc I wish I was able to write such perfect stories haha

So yeah, long ask but I really wanted to thank you because it brings me so much joy and peace to read your fics, I’ll obviously continue reading and supporting you and wish you the very best always !! Sending you so much love 🤍🤍🤍🩵🩵🩵

ANONNNN THIS IS SO SWEET you’ve got me all 🥹😭🥹😭🥹☺️☺️☺️🥹🥹 first of all, HI! Thank you for making me feel the love! It’s always nice to know about the comfort that my stories bring to people.

And I totally get you! I’m pretty particular with the storylines, too. It’s why I started writing - there were all these good stories that inspired me to come up with my own plots that I specifically liked, and here I am now! (Here’s your reminder that you can totally do it and you’ll surprise yourself 😉)

Thank you also for commenting that about the characters. It’s one of my favorite things about writing - being able to write the complexities of human beings, their emotions and desires and fears and stuff. Like, I try not to write antagonists in my stories but I do write the main characters as flawed individuals (which may rile people up 🫣) and just being able to write out their journey as they try to become better is always so satisfying. I was just talking about it with a friend how emotionally draining it is but it’s all worth it when I get messages from people saying they can relate.

But I also understand your feelings about IWYTS. It’s not my go-to au bc I’m particular with power dynamics as well so I try to navigate carefully. Not sure but this story might surprise you! But thank you for giving it a chance ☺️☺️ i hope it doesn’t disappoint.

Sending you all the love, anon! This is enormously appreciated. I hope you’re well always 💕💕💕

#mimianswers #💌

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darkangel0410 · 1 year

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2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 14

sorry so many its only bc im obsessed with you and love your brain! and really genuinely interested in how it works!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Don't apologize, I love talking writing stuff with you!!! This did get super long, tho, so I'm putting it under a cut:

2) What is your favorite fic of yours?

I mean, the real answer is all of them, lbr, but I'm really proud of trouble at my door (the necromancer au!!) because I love the worldbuilding I did, and it's basically the first case fic I ever wrote, and fight scenes that don't lead to sex!!! And a really good sex scene, too, if I do say so myself

3) What fic of yours do you think is underrated?

Hmmm, there's a couple answers for this, one of which is trouble at my door again, lol, but probably (this one) to the grave - it's an ultra rarepair (Chris Kreider/John Tavares), but I love the werewolf worldbuilding I dit, and sometimes I think about revisiting it

4) What fic of yours were you surprised by how popular it was?

Oh, probably any Tkachuks or Hughes (or Fantilis now, I guess lol) fic that gets over like 20 kudos or more than a couple comments, tbh. I get so much pushback from fandom (anon and otherwise) about writing it that it's always weird to me if they do well in that way

6) Do you outline your fics? If so, how?

I do not usually - for a series, I'll make notes as I go so I don't Joss myself, and if there's a case (so basically, necromancer au and in death au lmaoo) I make notes about it, but usually I just have an idea - what if Thom Bordelau was a necromancer? What if Jack Eichel was a crime lord? What if Trevor Zegras was a werewolf? and on and on forever - and then I sit down and start writing it to see what happens. After a few hundred words I mostly know how I want it to end, and what happens to get there. But I don't outline it the way plotters generally do - I tried before, when I was still figuring out my process for writing, but when I do write done everything like that first I don't want to write it anymore because the story feels told to me then, and my brain's satisfied.

8) Do you take inspiration from real life? If so how do you incorporate it into your fics?

Yeah, some - I think to a certain extent every writer does, we can't help it. As for how it ends up in fics...I think it's mostly little things, like. Someone's favorite song or drink - large iced mocha, extra chocolate from DD baybee (Turcs fave btw) - the way they tilt their head to the side when they ask questions, how impatient they are with people sometimes.

I do bring a lot of sex/kink/bdsm experience to my fic, too, I think - not necessarily in the sense that I write everyone having the same kinks as me, but I've been around kink and dungeons almost my whole adult life so there's stuff I know how to write that I'm not always into, and it makes it easier to have seen it done irl, or know someone who's into whatever I'm writing.

It also means I get a lot of people poking at me, through their own fic or in my inbox, about stuff that I've written, but at least there's hardly any death threats any more, unlike when I first started writing bdsm AUs/fics 😂😂😂

14) What is something you wrote in a fic that you are hoping readers picked up on but you don't know if they did? And/or, what is something that you were excited that readers did pick up on?

Oh this is such a good question - there's a couple, really, one of which is in (take this) to your grave by the end of that fic John's a very specific kind of crazy, and I love when readers picked up on that ❤️❤️❤️ there's also a part in the godlings verse where it's explained why Auston always looks so cranky when he's in Toronto (it's because he's the son of Apollo and he loathes cold weather lol) and I love the couple people who picked up on it 💕💕💕

Thank you for asking!!!! It was alot of fun!! ❤️❤️❤️ (fic writers ask meme)

#q & a #hard4softthings #meme #my fic #fic stuff...kinda #godlings verse #necromancer au #werewolves #that's hockey baby

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andiwriteordie · 1 year

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hi andi ok so I was having hadestown byler thoughts again and first of all. whenever I imagined the "death" I figured it would either be an actual death or it would just be will going to the upsidedown bc obviously mike doing everything in his power to get will back from the upsidedown mirrors the orpheus and eurydice thing. but then uh thought about that smoosnoom post with the eurydice quote and the fact that it's put over pictures of possessed will, when he's losing himself and his memories, WHICH IS ANALAGOUS TO HOW DEAD SOULS IN GREEK MYTH SWIM IN THE RIVER LETHE AND LOSE THEIR MEMORIES. so now, is eurydice will dead? in the upsidedown? possessed again? all of the above? idk but the potential just gets cooler the longer I think about it and I had to let you know. anyway slightly different topic but still hadestown byler though, idk what would happen with hades and persephone plotline aksjddkfk. like I generally say "orpheus and eurydice byler" instead of "hadestown byler" unless I'm trying to be quick about it bc hadestown has a very specific interpretation of the characters that I feel doesn't always map perfectly onto byler (for example. personality types don't line up) and I'm more interested in a byler version of the myth itself inspired from any or all iterations of it and not just specifically a hadestown au. but even if you take out the hadestown interpretation of hades and persephone I still don't really know what you do with that. bc the obvious answer for hades here would be henry except a. who is the persephone?? and b. henry doesn't seem like a very sympathetic person anymore, if he ever was, and a big part of the story is that hades sympathizes with the young lovers. like yeah the myth says it's persephone who feels sorry for them and convinces her husband, but a. that still means he's got some modicum of empathy and shit, and b. hades himself is only unwilling to let them leave bc it sets a precedent for letting everyone else leave. not bc he just wants to keep eurydice around. which again is definitely different from henry. so yeah idk what to do there. I'm sorry I just realized how long this ask is I am very long winded

alright rori, let's do this. setting a timer of 45 minutes for myself because like always, i have way too much to say but also i gotta prep a fic to get posted tomorrow LOL.

okay, so like i think i mentioned answering one or two of your other asks, i saw this a couple days ago and didn't have the energy to answer it yet, but i have been thinking about how i'd answer it. and now i know how i'm gonna answer it lol.

first, i'll say, i think your point of this is that there's a difference between solely orpheus/eurydice byler and then hadestown byler because obviously hadestown is more niche and interprets the myth slightly differently. so i'll talk about orpheus/eurydice byler first, then i'll talk about my thoughts on hadestown byler.

my thing is: byler is just orpheus/eurydice coded in general, as we all well know. and i think the more i thought about this, the more i realized that the show itself (at least the byler part of it) can be viewed as its own retelling an interpretation of the orpheus/eurydice myth, just (hopefully) without the tragic ending.

i mean it's right there in front of us in s1, right? we see eurydice/will being taken into this story's version of the underworld—the upside down. then orpheus/mike spends the entire first season trying to get him back. it's missing that obvious point of the "hey, don't turn around when he follows you out, because you'll lose him" but i'll come back to that in a second.

then, in s2, yes! i love what you're saying about how in greek myths, the river lethe leads the deceased person to lose their memories. so that really then is like will's possession, and so, wow. we again are put into this instance where our orpheus has to go after his eurydice and get him back. mike reminds will of who he is and of the love they share between each other.

but still, we're missing the deal orpheus strikes with hades, and its tragic end. except... maybe we're not?

because in both s1 and s2, we see that the way stranger things has its orpheus make it the underworld to save its eurydice is through a new character—through el. in both seasons, it's that friendship mike forges with el that in the end leads to will's rescue. this is more of a stretch than the way byler fits into their orpheus/eurydice roles, but in a way, mike's relationship with el kind of represents that journey out of the underworld and the tragedy the myth ends with.

mike "saves" will in a sense, but also... he loses will too. the key in orpheus and eurydice's demise is the doubt orpheus begins to feel, right? he wonders if he's been tricked, and he makes the fatal mistake of looking behind him, dooming eurydice to her demise and ending the story in a tragedy.

this, in a more metaphorical sense, could be compared to how in s3/s4 we begin to see mike's own self doubt, the decline in his mental health, how he shuts down, and hides behind his relationship with el. mike's looking behind him—his mistake that causes him to lose will—is something he says himself in s4: that he was worrying too much about el and lost will in the process. so, like in the original myth of orpheus and eurydice, it's the very movement and action that are meant to save eurydice that doom the two lovers. with mike and will, it's the very person who saved will and brought him back to mike twice who ultimately then comes in between them.

(btw, it's not el's fault, obvs. she's not really included in this metaphor/comparison because she doesn't really fit into the myth in a sense, but you know i love my girl and this whole mess isn't her fault either lol. there's probably something there that could be talked about with how el represents the "path out of the underworld" that st's hades aka vecna/henry/one offers to our orpheus. something that would dive more into the messy history of el and henry and the mentoring role he sort of played in her life until they broke off and like. nearly killed each other. but again, that's just an aside.)

anyways, where we then converge from the orpheus/eurydice myth is that when orpheus loses eurydice, he can never get the chance to get her back again. the story ends, and eurydice is dead. orpheus is alone. but as we all see at the end of s4, we see our orpheus and eurydice get a second chance. maybe mike did feel like he lost will because of his relationship with el. he did "turn around" in a sense. but by the ending scene in the cabin, i believe mike knows his priorities again. he makes that promise to will that they'll figure out how to defeat vecna together. they'll stop him together. so if this can be read as an orpheus/eurydice retelling, the ending will be different for them. :)

okay, now on to my hadestown thoughts!

these are all just my personal thoughts about how i might go about writing a hadestown byler fic, because i think for it to be an au of sorts, i'd want to have it set in that little world hadestown has built. as i just rambled about above, i think st's canon can almost be read as an orpheus/eurydice retelling itself, so if i wanted to write about it and dig deeper into the myth, this is the interpretation i personally would go with because i just love hadestown lol.

i mean, you know me and how i write rori, so i'd end up pulling bits and pieces i like from the material and then tweaking as i go. so if i ever wrote this, it would be hadestown (kind of), stranger things (kind of), and orpheus/eurydice (kind of) lol. first off, i like the hadestown setting. i like the concept of it not quite being a death, i like the way it frames a world that is struggling because of others' greed, and i like that within it, there's also a political statement showing how there's power in people standing up against oppressors.

we know that the demeanors of the orpheus/eurydice in hadestown don't line up to mike and will's characters. but what i like about hadestown is that eurydice gets a lot more agency in the story here. she makes that decision to go to hadestown, and unfortunately, it's made in desperation and also fear. but then, when we meet them again in the second act, we see that eurydice is also the primary encourager to orpheus. that they can make it out of here. that she believes in him to show her the way out. that they'll do this together, and that they will lead others with them.

so imagining with mike and will, for me, it'd end up being some sort of cross between their st backstories and the hadestown backstories (so maybe they grow up as childhood friends still, but then they fall in love with each other). established byler my beloved <3 we see mike get stuck in his head and hyper-focused, as he is prone to do, and we see this impact their relationship during hard times in the winter. it makes sense with their canon socioeconomic backgrounds, right? will is more focused on what's in front of them. they have to eat. they have to survive. he doesn't necessarily come from privilege, where mike more so does. so maybe that's a point of contention between the two, and that drives will to make the decision to go to hadestown.

mike, of course, isn't going to leave him down there, so as we'd expect, he goes after will. he goes the long way to hadestown, and he's determined to save will, to bring him back, to do better, to not lose will. because at the end of it all, even with all their flaws and the struggles in their relationship, mike and will love each other. i think el would probably be the hermes in this scenario—the one who helps him gets there but in this story, instead of el being able to help mike save will, she can't. maybe her powers are limited. maybe, if she is more like hermes, she can't necessarily make a decision that impacts another god's domain.

which brings me to your other question about hades. you're absolutely right that hades is more of a sympathetic character, and though he's the antagonist of the story, he's arguably not a villain? he's just a grumpy capitalist lmfao. personally, i still think the real villains here were the fates, but that's a whole other story.

you could, i suppose, if you wanted to—make hopper and joyce your hades and persephone. hopper in earlier seasons and his grumpy gruffness does give those kind of vibes, and we know he and joyce can and will argue with each other when they're at odds lol. but idk, if i did end up writing the hadestown au, i probably wouldn't go that route, just because i do think henry fits the "villain" character better.

so, uh... i think then, that would mean this eliminates the b plot of hades/persephone, so from my perspective, i imagine this then becomes more a discussion on henry as an oppressor and hadestown and henry representing a system of abuse (in the way the upside down and henry do in the show). like i said earlier, i like thinking the fates, who are manipulating the whole situation, are the true villains here, so i'd probably write it where henry is both hades and the fates. he plays the sympathetic role and manipulates mike in their confrontation, offering a way out for mike and will, but then turns around and is also that voice of doubt coaxing mike to turn around and doom will back to hadestown.

anyways, those are just some of the thoughts i've had, and i'm nowhere near to the point where i have the time to write a hadestown/byler esque kinda au... but if i did, i'm sure i'd have more coherent thoughts and ramblings to share eventually lol!

#andi's asks #orpheus / eurydice x byler #hadestown x byler #never ask a writer to give you their thoughts #because they will write you a whole book #and that's what you missed on andi being annoying!

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sparksnevadas · 1 year

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I have finished reading the latest GIHASM chapter and I am here to let it be known that I am once again wailing sobbing crying about mumscarian.

I feel like it can’t be said enough but the way you write them together… they’re just so soft. The little domestic scene of Scar and Grian cooking together. The implicit trust between Mumbo and Scar as they talk about how they are doing in the wake of everything. Grian trusting Mumbo to be there while he and Pearl preen and Mumbo getting the courage to speak about his experiences with the HA inspired by Grian. I could probably write a whole novel about how much I love the tender affection between them and how absolutely romantic your depiction of them is <3

(Side note: the way you write cooking has really reminded me that I do indeed love to do that)

The dancing scene needs a special shout-out, okay? I had to keep pausing to hide my face because it was just so good. I love your redscape dynamic so much, I think about them often.

The bit about Bdubs’ driving was great too! You got so much of his chapter into such a short bit.

And the parts about Grian’s complex emotions about the HA </3 they were so realistic and I loved getting to see that (especially with the added context of that post about why you named the chapter as you did).

I know you’ve said you are starting to wrap up GIHASM and while I am obviously excited to see what you come up with next, I am definitely going to miss this AU a lot. Every time I get that AO3 update email it puts a smile on my face and I drop whatever I’m doing to go and read it immediately. I love GIHASM so much and if anyone who is still reading at this point hasn’t read it yet I highly, highly recommend you go and check it out!

void!!! my friend <3 i had not noticed you sent this, i am genuinely sorry!

i love little domestic scenes, even if these idiots wont admit they're in love, they will cook for each other, sacrifice for each other, let each other sleep in and distract each other when its needed.

this is a very minor thing but i feel like in popular media and fic, once a character finds out they like someone, its very fast: attempted confessions, miscommunictions (my dearly detested), etc. etc. my thing is like... i wanted to explore what it would be like to fall in love with your friend over a year and not notice. and what'd be like to figure out you kinda see your nemesis as a friend (and maybe more, as you get to learn more and more about him). and even when you do find out, are you really that quick to turn around and risk something you value so much? maybe, maybe. Im trying really hard to find a balance between the two ends i suppose. its very slow going, but im glad everyone seems to be enjoying the ride? But anyways ya, ya, they are in love, but more importantly, they are best friends :)

(I LOVE COOKING!!!! the recipe for the spanish omelet is a mix between official recipes (putting it in the oven) and my own (adding bell pepper occasionally. it adds flavor and color))

its really funny to me that when i started drafting this fic, my head was so full of redscape stuff. and then i kinda realized i needed to focus on grian, so then i went full scarian mode for a bit. grumbo is the ship i feel like in a way i've had to put on the back burner for most of the fic bc mumbo wasn't "there" for the first half. anyways i love redscape. it consists of one Anxious but sweet man and his Confident but too sweet man wholoves him very loudly (but maybe not loudly enough?). and theyre best friends :) and they were roommates!

<3 <3 <3 i think i havent made it super clear in the fic up until this point that everyone and everything is morally gray, including the like. ig antagonist? of the fic. The HA has good people in it, and it has people who are not so good. everyone has different opinions on what should happen to it, and they are all valid in their own ways. given that a lot of readers were rallying against the HA, i was like :3c time to reveal why grian likes bleaching his wings and why he loves the HA and will always feel mixed emotions about it.

(can you tell i like writing about complicated relationships? lmao)

i have about 2 more story beats to finish off on..... i have also been saying i have two more beats for about 2-3 months. I say "soon", i have no idea how much longer this fic will take to write. for example, i thought of the stuff for this chapter within the last three weeks. so it was a last minute beat add. soooooo idk. "soon" but like. im gonna take any excuse to write more domestic scenes lmao. a meandering "soon"

anyways!!!! hi void my friend!!! thank you so much for this long ask i love long comments so much i love seeing what everyone picks up on and what parts are fun to read!!! genuinely the interview part was nervewracking for me to write bc i was like... i hope i dont sound preachy but journalism is important to me, and morality is important. anyways, i wont ramble any longer, but i lov u!!!

#its void!#gihasm

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effervescentdragon · 2 years

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Weird writer questions, go :D

1, 4, 9, 13, 17 (SPY AU PLS), 25, 28, 36, 38

18:

How do you do that, Jenson thought as he watched Lewis scrunch his face, then throw his head back and laugh. How do you say those kind of things without even blinking? Do you know how much we love you, he thinks as Lewis pushes Nico back, his hand settling around Nico's waist in a move too smooth and too practiced to be just a one-off. Do you know how hard you push? And do you even care? Do you think we'll always forgive you?

okay im typing this up bcs my computer is too slow for properly doing vocab log and i may have pushed myself into a hypoglycemia inadvertedly so im waiting for sugars to start functioning properly XD

this is weird writers asks, and it got LONG. ask me more tho, i love tinkerbelling :D

i think i answered, imma link it when i find it :D okay here it is. im basic af and blind as a bat, so i just switch to arial and like. 14 xD

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

uhm. not a word, but a phrase. "i have you" or "i got you". i fucking SCREAM.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

ahahaha tbh idk? probably. i think it would be fun, having lil ghosts around. moving stuff taht i dont rmbr moving. i was in love w casper when i was a kid and absolutely believed in ghosts then, does that count?

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

any type of explicit torture, non-con, dub con, abuse and violence that isnt like, movie-like spy murder and stuff. i cant and won't.

easy is inner monologue and angst :) so so easy.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

you asked about the spy au. god. i wish i knew? like, im not sure how the lore works. i know we have criminal syndicates, the bulls and the cavallino rampantes (i take no criticism on this xD) and i know im thinking of a sort of. man from uncle kinda setup? for the good guys, but i dont have a centralized thrush. its vaguely james bond and john le carre inspired also, bcs im a sucker for those, but for other stuff, i legitimately have no fucking idea. it will come to me at some point, and knowing myself, everything will make it into the text. or i will talk your ear off with my worldbuilding. <333

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

i actually had to think about this a lot. i usually make sure to include at least hints in my writings, if for nobody else, for myself. but remembering any of it without re-reading the fics... hmmm. imma answer other questions then come back to this if i remember anything xD

OH I REMEMBERED. in the princess of monaco au, when seb and charles meet in the club and talk, when charles is drunk, seb already has a beginning of a crush on charles. then he makes himself stop, because charles is sixteen, as jules tells him, and he feels like an absolute bastard, so he keeps as far away as possible. thats why later, when they meet again and charles says "i cant go till im 18" seb kinda blanches. enzo isn't that far off in his freakout, but i have to clarify seb would never do anything, in fact he's gonna agonize over it a lote in general, but like. he thought the kid was cute, and he has morals, so he freaked. xD

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

oh it has to be charles in my princess of monaco au. that is my therapy, that's just, idk, i love that version of him so much. he's very. close to my heart there. very close second is the way i wrote aredhel in his brother's keeper. idk why, i just love her there so very much, although she doesn't appear that much? and maybe azaghal in ardent red heartbreak, because, well. it's seb. :) however, lalwen has my heart all over, ngl. her and cirdan are adorable :)))

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

complicated family relationships. being a bitch due to circumstances and as a defence mechanism (khm vielleicht vielleicht sequel). having a legacy. defying the legacy. being fundamentally wrong and having the world swept from under you. fighting not to die. grief. maybe some other things, but those are for anyone who reads the fics to tell me if they noticed something. im in the eyes of the storm. i dont know.

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

i dont think anything i do is weird tbh? i could do with a bit less research that isnt relevant for anything except my peace of mind. i think cats are like. "peasant. heathen. feed me. yesssss-now move. bitch. uwu. bye" :)

aaaand.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

so. THAT. passage. well. i mean. as you may or may not know, i relied on my own personal experiences for that fic, adjusted very much for the appropriate context (as in, them being rich dudes and decidedly not in hs, tho you wouldn't know it). i. like nico. i think i get nico on some level. and nico, he. he pushes, because he's always had to push. because of the legacy and because of the insecurity. because he has to know, if. well. is this going to be the moment where they quit on me? is this going to be the moment when i become too much for them? is this the moment where they say to themselves thats it, im done, i cant take him and all that he is anymore. he's too much for me. he's too this or too that and not enough of modesty and not enough of poise and not enough of effortless beauty and class, like he should be. im done

so he pushes. and he's charming about it. and he waits, because, well. he was never taught that love can be unconditional.

SUGARS GOOD. I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

#akira answers asks #princess of monaco au #that vielleich vielleicht thing #sebchal #ily stormy <3 #i have the best friends #spy au #gold and gifts reference #f1 rpf #mostly #some tolkien

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