#i was preparing 500+ sets for yoongi for when he is gone and i also had few comps i wanted to do but idecided to not do it and stop giffing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleephyjhs · 4 years

Text

Internal Tigress (Special Post)

pairing: cheater!yoongi x reader

genre: heavy angst

summary: he’d been disappearing for longer each time. your voicemails haunted his inbox. you were way past the point of return, but your suppressed emotions made it hard for you to confront him. however, an elastic band can only stretch so far before it snaps.

word count: 1.9k

notes: this is so late it’s past fashionable, but thank you for 500 followers! next time i’ll have a much better surprise, i promise. i’d also like to add that this au doesn’t reflect my actual beliefs of yoongi as a person

tw: heated arguments, cheating

rules | m.list | 500 followers special

For hours, melted candle wax had dripped from the stand onto the marble kitchen counter, and for hours, you had failed to stop it. Somehow, watching the candlestick melt was less tedious than waiting for him. The burning scent of jasmine and sandalwood hung bitter in the air, not too dissimilar from Yoongi’s earlier promise.

Three years of devoting your love to him had come to this; a one-person dinner date. On such a monumental day for you as a couple, announcing he was going out by himself was reasonably unexpected. It had become apparent to you within minutes of waking up that morning that Yoongi was in fact clueless over the sentiments of that day. Not a single romantic gesture had reached your vicinity. Not even a card.

And yet you still made the effort to celebrate for him. Earlier that week when he had questioned your extra, unusual groceries, it still didn’t prod the event in his mind. The lower the candlestick burned, the more you pondered on your idiocy. Why had you even bothered? You could have bet money on Yoongi being none the wiser.

Just as the wick curled into the ceramic stand, you reminded yourself just why you made the effort. He’d become more and more distant in the last weeks. Some nights, he walked out the door without a word and wouldn’t return until the early morning. But your efforts came from not wanting to believe he had fallen out of love with you. A small part of you refused to accept your romance was virtually over.

Too many nights ago, you’d wondered if you were unreasonable. Of course, he was a grown man and you were nobody to stop him from going out. But refusing to answer his phone, or even telling you where he’d be? It became too suspicious too quickly.

With only the light from the television, you ate your half of the anniversary meal you’d prepared in the familiar silence. Even the quiet was a better conversation than what you would have had anyway. Ironically, you were usually a fan on the meals you made for yourself, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to enjoy it.

To make a point, you left your used dish on the island counter opposite the full one meant for your partner. Your wine glass had stained red by the little residue left at the bottom; the wine in the other glass sat stale. Waiting for him to arrive home was a tedious couple of hours, but the saturday night shows managed to get you through it.

The monotonous beeping of the keypad outside your door led your heart to beat faster. Confrontation was a secret weapon you wielded well, but the few seconds that laid between you and Yoongi were too few to think of the right words. Really, you weren’t sure whether you were angry or disappointed, or both.

You focused your attention on the screen before you as he pushed the door open and sneaked through the gap. From the corner of your eye, you watched him glance at you before turning to the kitchen. An audible sigh echoed in your silence. Already, a few angry tears began to gather at your eyelids.

“I got you these.” Yoongi offered, walking closer to the couch. Your eyes glared to the side to see his outstretched arm holding a box of your favourite chocolates, “Listen, I’m really sorry. There’s been a lot on my mind lately and-“

“You aren’t sorry at all.” You replied bluntly, turning back to the screen. It was painful even just to be in the same room as him; there were no words you could say to him that could ever deliver your full anger in that moment, “If I hadn’t made you a whole anniversary meal then you wouldn’t have said anything to me when you walked through that door. You and I both know that.”

Another tense silence was broken by the box of chocolates landing next to your seat, “Fine. Take them or leave them.”

His blunt remark confirmed to you that he no longer cared for your relationship and prompted your growing distaste for his new character. You’d told yourself earlier that evening that a heartfelt apology might have changed your mind about your dead-end love, but all of your hope was lost. His feelings were clear enough, “I’ll leave them.”

You breathed sharply, rushing from the couch towards your shared bedroom. The tears wouldn’t stop themselves, and the last thing you needed was for him to see you so vulnerable, “Where are you going?” He asked sternly, grabbing a hold of your arm as you stormed away.

Without hesitating, you yanked your arm from his grip and swivelled to face him. Maybe seeing you so distraught would tell him a thing or two, “Get the fuck off of me. It’s obvious you don’t want to be near me, so why would I put you through it?” Raising your voice is something you hated doing, but targeting your anger at the man who caused it all was much needed.

“I just went out to get you those chocolates, I don’t see what the problem is.” But he knew what he’d done wrong. After however many years you’d known Yoongi, not once had he admitted he was wrong so quickly. If anything, he’d only confirmed what you first said; he wasn’t sorry at all.

“It doesn’t take four fucking hours to go to the convenience store. You disappear so much now, I never know where you are. I’d thought that on our anniversary you’d want to spend time with me for a change, but you didn’t remember.” He stuttered , fumbling for the words to defend himself with, “Dont bother. You’ve been done with me for a while, it was just never convenient for you to drop me.”

Salty tears burnt your throat as they smeared the mascara you’d applied generously earlier in the evening. Looking at Yoongi was torture. The man who you placed so much faith for your future in was stood before you, clearly unable to defend himself. For the second time, you headed for your bedroom, believing he wouldn’t follow.

When his hand reached your shoulder to turn you around again, the stretching elastic band in your brain snapped, “I told you to get the fuck off of me! All you had to do was be honest with me, and even that much is too hard for you? You’re unbelievable, Yoongi. Just unbelievable.”

“You do know that I’m an adult, right? You’re nobody to stop me from going anywhere, nor do you need to have tabs on me all the time.”

The ignorance of his statement dragged a scoff from your lips, “I never stopped you. You have no idea how worrying it is when I can’t get a hold of you. If there was an emergency you wouldn’t have known any better. You never used to be like this, I just don’t understand!”

Through your blurring tears, you caught Yoongi reaching for you for a third time, “Look, you’re just being hysterical now. Calm down, seriously.”

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You cut his speech from the beginning and leaned over your bed to reach one of his pillows, “Sleep on the couch, on the floor. Wherever, I don’t care. I’m too angry to even look at you. Wherever you were, I hope you had a better night than I did.”

The next morning, you walked out into the crispy air of your apartment to be greeted by a cleaned living space. The dishes from last night were gone, and the pillow you almost threw at Yoongi was rested on top of the folded blanket. A pounding headache had woken you from your disrupted slumber, and trying to remember what had been happened the night before was no remedy.

After you were sure he was gone once again, you thought ahead to reviving your willingness to socialise. In response to Yoongi’s disappearances, you organised a quiet night out with your best friend, on the town. Your attempts to equal his absence would be appreciated by nobody but yourself; perhaps a bit of self-care was what you needed.

Instead of sharing an anniversary meal with your ‘partner’, you treated your best friend to a bigger, more fulfilling meal just out of gratitude. She’d picked you up in your lowest points, and there she was doing it all over again.

Before you left the restaurant, you visited the bathrooms just to retouch your makeup. But in the midst of reapplying gentle blush, you caught your attention on the several jewellery items you were wearing that had been purchased by Yoongi. More coincidentally, the necklace he bought you for your first birthday as a couple and the promise ring he’d given you last year for your second anniversary.

In light of trying to bring yourself to a happier state of mind, you pushed any thoughts of him to the side and focused on the present. As hard as it was, the light humour your friend provided soon distracted you.

An activity both you and your friend enjoyed was walking through Seoul nature parks late at night. Cherry blossoms glowed humbly under moonlight, and the trickling of clear river water set the perfect atmosphere for evening strolls. Luckily, you were within walking distance. It wouldn’t have taken you long to get there.

Your friend had linked her arm with yours to guide you to the park; it was one of her ways of looking after you, making sure you couldn’t stray away from the given path. As you both giggled from another one of her lighthearted jokes, she paused in her track and gazed across the wide city road, “There’s no way that’s Yoongi over there.”

You lined your eyes parallel to hers to observe across the road, where a man and woman stood body to body in a close embrace illuminated by bright cafe lights. It was clear to see their fingers interlaced as the man leaned down to seemingly whisper in her ear. When he stood erect again, the cafe casted a light upon his face so perfect it was clear it was him. It was Yoongi.

“No, where are you going?” Before your friend could say anything to stop you, you turned back for the pedestrian crossing and stormed across with the ocean of moving citizens. In your sudden despair and anger blocked her calling for your name as you ploughed across the road. That’s where he’d been all these times. He’d been with some other woman.

As you approached Yoongi and his new fling, you unfastened the necklace that hung around your neck and slid his promise ring from the base of your finger. They were only bad omens anyway, “So this is where you’ve been? All these fucking times, you’ve been with somebody else?” You confronted him, watching in disgust as he made eye contact with you, “Here, have these back. They’re no use to me anymore.”

Without double-crossing yourself, you threw the jewellery at him, watching it fall the the dirty pavement below. You witnessed as his face fell void of thoughts. If you knew Yoongi, you knew there’d be nothing for him to say. He’d been caught by you, the worst person to be caught by, “Your shit will be outside the apartment. If it’s not gone in 3 days it’s going to charity. Thanks for the heartache, I appreciate it.”

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