#i was thinking about that TIL ant-size fact
Note
ok but like what if jungkook and y/n are at a hockey match and a kiss cam lands on them but they're both strangers
➺ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader
➺ genre: biRTHDAY-themed fluff that is so utterly sweet you will undoubtedly get like ten cavities after reading this; tae demolished a whole serving of cheesy fries and he’s not feeling so good mr stark; namjoon & y/n bond over the fact that they just don’t get hockey
➺ wordcount: 4.6k
➺ note: happy birthday to the man that not only owns my heart but also my whOLE ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my goD i love him!!!!!!!!!!!! u ruin my life but also make it ten times better!!!!!!!!
(gif isn’t mine!)
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
“remind me again why jimin couldn’t come with you instead?” you scowl when someone bumps into you from behind and you instinctively reach down to pull your purse to your front
…what??
you haven’t cashed in your latest paycheque and you don’t want anyone steaLing your hard-earned money
you stumble into tae’s back when someone knocks into you again
you would think that people would have the common decency to be a little more polite but no
this is so not your scene
plus you saw an army of ants feasting on the carcass of a cockroach in the washroom and you immediately hightailed it ouT of there
your bladder is just going to have to wait til you return to safety of your own toilet
tae told you he’d be happy to chug down a gallon of soda and give you the cup to pee in and you nearly considered it because that would probably be cleaner than the washrooms here
“because- yeah, two forks, please - because he had some dumb work thing that he couldn’t skip out on and i wasn’t going to waste my front row tickets!” tae scoffs as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world
well
that’s fair, you suppose
“you really couldn’t invite anybody else? i was your next choice?” you cling to the back of tae’s jersey because everyone keeps shoving into you and you feel like you’re going to be carriEd away by a hoard of sweaty hockey fans if you don’t hold on to something
you don’t mean to sound ungrateful because it is really nice of taehyung to have invited you to this apparently suPer big-deal of a hockey game (you’re pretty sure the fans here would rip each other apart to get their hands on a front row ticket) but like ?///???
you aren’t exactly a super enthusiastic sports person
sure, you’ll watch a couple matches if it’s on the tv while you’re cleaning up your apartment or if you just need some noise in the apartment but it’s not something that you actively seek out to watch
if anything you’re 100% more likely to watch spongebob squarepants over a sports game
you just don’t see the appeal of watching grown men (anD women! ur a feminist! girls are great!) gliding around on ice clickity-clacking a tiny puck here and there with wooden sticks while very aggressively shOving into each other at the same time
also the names of the hockey teams are always so dumb
you could probably come up with a better hockey team name because all you have to do is pick an adjective and then pick an animal
the screaming giraffes
the wailing whales
the condescending toads
you would pay good money to watch a match between the screaming giraffes and the wailing whales
you’re not sure if the condescending toads would make a good name now that you think about it
“aw, c’mon! it’s not like you had any other plans, anyways.” tae raises a brow at you and you immediately scoff
he has a good point.,.,., but stiLL
“i totally had plans!”
“ordering a party sized serving of chicken alfredo and garlic bread and watching netflix doesn’t count as plans.”
…okay anoTHer good point
the seats that you guys got are actually pretty good
you’re located right in the middle so you get an equal view of the goal on the right and the goal on the left
it’s not like you’re going to be paying attention to the game but still
very nice!
“can you believe we only had to pay $5 for all of this?” tae laughs lightly in disbelief as he rubs his hands together and looks down at the foot-long hot dog sitting on his lap
“…it should be concerning that we got all of this for $5.” you mutter under your breath and stare down at the plastic-looking cheese smothered over the fries
you told tae not to go overboard with the food but of course he didn’t listen to you which is why you guys are sharing a foot-long chilli cheese dog anD an extra large order of chilli cheese fries and a slurpee served in a literal bucket
usually you’d be down to inhale all of this but uh
you don’t want to sound snooty or anything but you saw one of the employees accidentally drop an entire bag of cheese into the pot before quickly fishing it out with their bare hands and you’re pretty sure that’s a health code violation
you mentioned it to tae and he said it wasn’t a big deal and- well, he’s already starting to scarf down the hot dog
side note
these fries are actually really good
you stab a few more of them with your fork before shovIng the biteful into your mouth and gently dabbing some cheese sauce off your chin with your napkin
just because you’re starving doesn’t mean all your manners are going to fly out the damn window
you didn’t eat breakfast this morning so this is a great first meal
“vou know what fhe beft part iv of sitting in the front?” tae asks through a faT mouthful of hot dog and you immediately wince in respond
men are disgusting
“what?” you reach over to wipe tae’s mouth with a napkin because both his hands are occupied by the almost offensively large hotdog
he swallows his bite before licking some chilli from the corner of his mouth
again
men are disgusting
“sometimes the hockey players get sLammed right up against the protective shield right in front of us.” tae gestures to the clear plastic panels separating the crowd from the rink “and if you’re really lucky, you get to see someone lose a tooth or something!”
you immediately make a face
“wha- how is that-“
“jungkook, over here! i found our seats!” you glance over for a second when someone quite literally scReams out loud for their friend
and then you’re turning to face tae again
“as i was saying,” you pause for a brief second when tae reaches over to take the fries from you, “how the hell is that the best part about sitting in the fr-“
you jump in surprise when what feels like a whole handful of popcorn suddenly scatters down on your head and onto your lap
oh coMe ON
you just washed your hair this morning!!!!!
the crumbs are going to look like you have veRy bad dandruff
also this is heavily buTTERED popcorn which means that the grease stains on your jeans are probably going to be there for the rest of your life
and these jeans were expeNSIVE
>:-(
this hockey game is not a very fun experience so far
“oh shit, sorry!”
“it’s all good, it’s all good…” you mutter as you flick a kernel of popcorn off your shoulder
yep
there’s a speck of grease on your sweater
greAt
“just be careful with that drink of yours because i-“ you look up to-
o-oh
OH
oh god
oh god the popcorn guy is cute
and not just cute
he’s like.,,. he’s suPER CUTE
round brown eyes
obscenely perfectly tousled black hair
he definitely looks to be around your age which is a big fat bonus
although that colour-block hoodie of his is making him look a lot younger you still think it’s safe to say he’s probably around your age
“sorry, miss… the plastic lids here are flimsy as hell and mine keeps popping off so you can’t blame me if i get you wet!” the guy flashes you a boyish smile and you feel your mouth go dry
oh dear lord
have mercy
“hey- you want extra chilli on your half of the hot dog?” you’re rudely poPped out of your little bubble when taehyung suddenly elbows your side
“wh- what? what?” you tear your eyes away from the handsome stranger who’s making himself comfortable in the seat right next to you before clearing your throat and looking over at tae
“extra chilli!” tae chirps and raises your half of the hot dog up a little
he already finished his half which isn’t a huge surprise
to be honest he was going to just go ahead and finish the hot dog but he figured it’d be nice to at least offer you a bite
“-i even asked for an extra little container of chopped up onions because i know you like-“
“no!” you blurt out and whack the container of onions out of tae’s hand causing it to smAck against the plastic divider before clattering to the ground
the two of you blink down at it
tae purses his lips before subtly kicking as much of it as possible under his seat
“i, um, i’m actually not that hungry. you can finish the hot dog.” you clear your throat again before unscrewing the lid of your bottle of water and taking a tentative, ladylike sip
“…what are you talking about? you were going to town on those cheesy fries like five seconds ago- oW-“
“jungkook, over here! i found our seats!” jungkook perks up when he sees namjoon waving him over
aH
there he is!
he was starting to get worried that namjoon wandered off somewhere or somehow locked himself in the supply closet or something
namjoon put him in charge of snack duty and he went aLL out
popcorn? check!
roasted peanuts? double check!
blue-flavoured slurpee? triple check!
he actually ended up getting two drinks because namjoon likes to bite the straw and jungkook doesn’t want to share a drink with a straw-biter
“here, i’ll take the peanuts and my drink-“ namjoon plucks the paper bag and the plastic cup cradled in jungkook’s arms before he steps aside to let him squeeze into the aisle
namjoon actually won these hockey game tickets from a raffle at work and jungkook almost exploded with joy when he invited him to come and watch it with him
it was actually pretty perfect timing because the game just so happened to land on jungkook’s birthday
namjoon gave jungkook the best birthday present and he didn’t even have to spend a dime
:’)
“s’cuse me, sorry-“ jungkook weasels his way in between the aisles and carefully steps over people’s legs as he makes his way to his seat exciTEdly
he’s never been to a live sports game before!!!
and he’s definitely never been in the froNt row of anything before!!!!
two birds with one fAt stone!
also he-
“oh shit, sorry!” he gasps when he accidentally tips his carton of popcorn a little bit causing it to land all over the stranger seated next to his spot
shiT
there goes half his popcorn
he’s not going to go back up to the concessionary stand to get more popcorn because the game is about to start and the line is probably still half a mile long
“it’s all good, it’s all good…” jungkook winces to himself and feels his cheeks heat up a little as he watches you brush the popcorn to the ground
yikes
he’s about to sit down when suddenly you speak up again “just be careful with that drink of yours because i-“
jungkook feels his heart skip a beat when you look up at him
oh wowie you’re pretty
…he just spilt his greasy popcorn all over a very pretty girl
double yikes
it’s fine
just play it cool
he can play it cool
“sorry…” jungkook raises his cup a little “the plastic lids here are flimsy as hell and mine keeps popping off so you can’t blame me if i get you wet!”
he immediately pales as soon as that tumbles out of his mouth
wha-
what the HELL was that?!?!?!
out of all the things he could’ve said
his three and a half brain cells came up with thAT
you can’t blame me if i get you wet???????
you probably think he’s some kind of weird peRVERT now
luckily your boyfriend starts talking to y-
huh
you have a boyfriend
of course you have a boyfriend
jungkook lets out a little huff before plopping down on the plastic seat
whatever >:-(
namjoon leans over and glances into the popcorn bag before frowning
damnit
he just wanted some popcorn
:-(
“holy shiT, did you see that backhand????” tae practically screeches as he reaches over and slaps your arm aggressively “y/n, did you see it????”
“i saw- i sAW it, i saw it!” you scowl and smack his hands away from you
“oh my god, that was legEndary-“
you can barely hear tae’s enthusiastic blabbering because all you can hear is the sound of skates shrEdding up the ice and the sound of the puck being whacked back and forth and also cheers and whOops from all of these diehard fans
you honestly have no idea what the hell is going on right now
all you know is that the two teams are tied right now and everYone’s getting frustrated
you’re not sure which team you should be rooting for so you’re just basing it off of which uniform you like better
in other words, you’re cheering on the pUrpLe team!
also no one’s been smacked up against the plastic divider yet which is a huge relief because you’re not sure if you want to see anyone lose any teeth today
“will you cut it out?? your future girlfriend probably isn’t going to appreciate it if you’re practically beating her up-“
jungkook perks up immediately when he hears that come out of your mouth
aH
so that guy isn’t your boyfriend!
nice!!!!!
that means he still has a chance even though he dumped like a pound of popcorn on you and almost drenched you in his blue-flavoured slurpee
also he didn’t mean to eavesdrop
it’s just hard noT to eavesdrop when you’re sitting right next to him
he’s been paying attention to the game because duH but also he keeps thinking about how cute u look when you have a mouthful of french fries
also
now he knows that your name is y/n which is actually pretty fitting
you look like a y/n
it’s cute!
on an unrelated note
u smell rly nice but he can’t quite put his finger on what that particular scent is
jungkook’s nose twitches
hm
“what do you mean the game isn’t over yet??” you groan and plop yourself back down in the seat “there was an intermission like half an hour ago!!!”
“there are two intermissions, you whiney baby!” tae scowls
you need to chill
you’re acting like watching a hockey game is equivalent to getting your teeth pulled out
you’re being a bABy
if he can sit through hours and houRS of your reality tv shows you can sit through one hockey game
“so…” namjoon pauses for a second “the game… isn’t over?”
“nope! there’s one more round.” jungkook chirps and shovels a handful of popcorn into his mouth
“oh.” namjoon slumps back in his seat a little
he thought the game was over
to be honest he was ready to leave before the first intermission but jungkook looked like he was having the time of his life so he decided to wait it out
“so what are we supposed to do now?” namjoon furrows his brows “do they just expect us to wait and do nothing?”
“well, no, they’re doing that thing where-“ jungkook immediately chokes when he suddenly sees his face on the jumbotron
and unsurprisingly
your face is also on the jumbotron
“y/n-“
“hold on, i’m about to beat my high score-“ your tongue pokes out in concentration as you focus on your very intense session of tetris
“y/n-“ tae hisses and punches your arm
“ow!” you whine and rub your sore arm
tae’s been hitting you for the duration of the whole game and you’re pretty sure your arm is about to fall off
he needs to cut it out
he knoWs you bruise like a pEACH
“-what did i tell you about hitting me???” you put your phone down and turn to glare at tae
“you’re on the- look!!!!” tae points to the front and-
you immediately pale when you realise that yes, that is most definitely your face on the jumbotron right now, and yes, you and jungkook, the very handsome stranger that you definitely already have a crush on, are currently trapped inside of a big pinK heart with the words ‘KISS CAM’ floating on top of the heart
oh god
you can’t kiss him
you still taste like cheesy fries
and your lips are chapped
and your tongue is stained blue from the slurpee
you can’T KISS HIM
and also he’s a literal stranger but most importantly you are not in the right state to be kisSEd right NOW
“oh, no-“ you shake your head quickly before making a slicing gesture over your neck “we’re not- we’re not together!”
jungkook glances at you for a brief second and he can sEe the panic in your eyes
okay
he was down to kiss you but obviously you don’t feel the same way which is totally understandable but stiLL
oh well
he might as well join in on the protesting
“right, yeah- we don’t know each other!” jungkook shakes his hand at the camera and you flash a sheepish smile at the camera before shrugging
the crowd immediately erupts into boos and you immediately scoff before turning to face the people behind you
“excuse-” you gawk when someone has the audacity to thrOW a handful of popcorn down at you guys “-excuse you!”
you turn back to face the camera and shake your head before holding your arms up and crossing one over the other
“sorry! we’re not going to kiss!!!!!!!!”
you shoot a glare in tae’s direction when he joins in on the booing
sometimes you don’t know why you’re friends with him because he’s literally suCH a moRON
“seriously, we’re not- oh, okay-“ you let out a breath of relief when the camera moves away from the two of you
you immediately slump back in your seat
phEW
that was a close call
if ur going to kiss jungkook it’s going to be because he wantS to kiss you and noT because he’s being forCed to kiss you
“sorry about that…” he turns to look at you and you immediately perk up
“no, you have nothing to apologise for! don’t sweat it.” you laugh lightly and shake your head before digging through your purse for a stick of gum
your breath still tastes like cheesy fries and it’s not very pleasant
“i, uh, i’m jungkook, by the way.” jungkook sticks his hand out for you to shake
oh
he’s… introducing himself to you
…does that mean… he might be… interested in you…?
hM
much to think about
you take his hand gently before offering him a shy smile “i’m y/n.”
“and i’m taehyung!” tae leans over and shoots jungkook a boxy smile “i would shake your hand but my fingers are still sticky with cheese.”
your eyes flutter shut and you pinch the bridge of your nose
kim taehyung is the absolute bane of ur existence
“it’s nice to meet you guys. uh, this is-“ jungkook glances over his shoulder “this is namjoon!”
“hey, hi.” namjoon smiles politely and nods to the both of you in acknowledgement “are you guys big hockey fans?”
“i’m not, but tae is-“ you laugh lightly and namjoon’s eyes liGht up
“i’m not that big of a fan either! i honestly don’t really get it!“
“right??” you gasp in excitement because now you have someone you can actually talk to about this stuff “what’s the big deal with a group of grown men gliding around and-“
“i know!! also i always lose track of where the puck is-“
taehyung and jungkook lean back slightly to give each other the same looks of ‘do you hear what i’m hearing right now?’
“i don’t see what the point is of having two intermissions-“ you nearly jump ten feet into the air when the crowd suddenly buRsts into cheers and for a second you think it’s because the game is resuming
but nO
because take a WILD guess as to whose faces are up on the jumbotron aGAIN
“wha- are you people serious?!” you gawk as you stare at yourself at the screen
…is that really what you look like?
you look weirder when you’re up on the big screen for some reason
you don’t get a chance to dwell on the fact that people can probably see your pores from how HD the camera is because the next thing you know, the crowd is beginning to chant
“kiss! kiss! kiss! kiss!”
jungkook lets out a nervous laugh and shakes his head before reaching up to pluck at the silver hoop hanging from his ear (it’s a nervous hAbit and he is very vERY nervous right now) “sorry, we’re not going to!”
“kiSS! kiSS! kiSS! kiSS!”
“you heard the guy!” you gesture over to jungkook “we’re not doing it, you pERverts!”
it seems like the audience couldn’t give leSS of a shit because every time you and jungkook say that you two aren’T going to kiss they become more riled up
even taehyung and namjoon have joined in on the chanting
namjoon can’t help but snort when jungkook turns to look at him with briGht red cheeks
if ya can’t beat em join em!!!
“we’re going to be here all day! just move on!”
“KISS!”
“we’re not going to kiss!!!!!!!”
“KISS!”
“we don’t even know each other!”
“KISS!”
“my lips are suPer chapped!”
“KISS!”
“take a hint!”
“oh for the love of god-“ jungkook’s eyes nearly pop out of his head when you’re suddenly grabbing him by the collar of his hoodie and pulling him towards you and-
his heart stops in his chest when you press your lips against his and he immediately freezes
o god
you’re kissing him
you’re kiSsing HIM
you pull away far too soon for jungkook’s liking (it was obviously only meant to be a peck) and jungkook blinks owlishly
wha-
is that it?????
that’s all????
you are riPPING him off
“there, we kissed! are you freAKS happ-“ before you get a chance to get all smug with the camera jungkook’s yanking you back and smearing his lips over yours
the crowd now eRUPTS into cheers and screams and namjoon is literally screeching his head off next to jungkook
taehyung isn’t doing any better
he threw his half-eaten hot dog up into the aIR
and for a brief second jungkook thinks you’re going to freak out and pull away but he’s more than pleasantly surprised when you begin to kiss him back
also he figured out what u smell like and why he likes it so much
it’s because you smell like his favourite fabric softener
and if that’s not a sign that you’re basically perFect for him then he doesn’t know what is!!!!
jungkook reaches up to cup your cheek gently while your fingers curl around the nape of his neck
needless to say
you are vERy much making out with a stranger right now (your mom would probably flip if she found out) but you most definitely don’t give a hECK because jungkook’s lips are so soft and he tastes like buttery popcorn
the tiniest of whimpers slips past your lips when jungkook teases you with small brushes of his tongue against yours
he tilts his head slightly to deepen the kiss and all of a sudden you feel lightheaded and your entire body feels like jello
he’s such a good kisser that you nearly forget the fact that the two of you are making out in front of like 20,000 people right now
a smirk twitches at the corner of jungkook’s mouth when he pulls away and you immediately respond with a whine
it started off with you getting him all flustered but obviously the tables have turned because you are just putty in his hands and he knows it
“jungkook…” you sigh breathlessly as he nudges his nose against yours
oH boy
your soul definitely left your body
you’re still floating on cloud nine
meanwhile the crowd is still compLETELY losing it because they were just expecting a little pek and not THIS
“yeah?” jungkook takes his bottom lip in between his teeth as he resists the urge to lean in and kiss you again
“i think this means you have to take me out on a date now.”
“…i think you might be right.”
best
birthday
ever
:-)
help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)
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#requested drabbles#jungkook drabbles#jungkook fics#jungkook fic recs#jungkook smut#jungkook drabble recs#jungkook smut recs#jungkook fluff#jungkook fluff recs#bts fics#bts fic recs#bts drabbles#bts smut#bts smut recs#bts fluff#bts fluff recs#bts cute#jungkook cute#jungkook hot#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#reader insert#bts au#jungkook au#bts jungkook#jungshookz#bts masterlist#bts writing#jungkook writing
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Crossover thoughts - Part 1
So the first thing… the first thing we see during the crossover is Nazi Dark Arrow killing Earth X Guardian, aka James Olsen, aka an African-American man. Am I the only one that was screaming at the screen thinking of the current white supremacy problem? Why was it even necessary to kill a hero like that right off the bat
Okay moving on.. those opening scenes crossing from Central City to Star City etc were amazing, seriously one of my favorite moments from the first two episodes.
We finally, finally get a shot of Olicity together on Oliver’s motorbike. It’s just a shame that they were the size of ants but hey at least it’s canon now!
I really like that they took the time for that Stein and Caitlin scene. It was such a lovely scene.
So Alex and Sara, I was expecting them to get it on, in fact I would have been shocked if they didn’t but I have to say I was surprised it happened so quickly. Although that doesn’t mean it won’t happen again in say.. episode 4.
The second Marvel reference that I know of this year (first being Felicity mentioning the hulk in The Flash 4.05) who would have thought? That whole Stein and Jax scene was cute mentioning Spider-Man and Jax being so hopeful at first until he released his super power would be sticking to things (I really need some @lordmesa-art fanart of Jax just sticking to a wall).
Aww Joe’s speech was perfect.
I could tell from the stills that were released that there was going to be some Olicity issues at the rehearsal dinner but oh my poor heart wasn’t ready for that. Oliver was just so sweet and clumsy about it which made it hurt all the more. Plus I love that he used her full name.
I gotta say, Mick Rory, was just about my favorite part of these two episodes. Wearing that dressing gown, the falling asleep at the ceremony, his crush on Caitlin and trying to ‘scare’ her into Killer Frost. Just all of it.
Oh my god.. is that Dawn.. is that doing to be Dawn Allen? OMG! are we really going to see Barry and Iris’s kid travel from the future? I love this.
Kara singing Iris down the isle was a lovely detail. Actually gave me some goosebumps.
Shame they cut the scene outside the church with Felicity, Iris and Joe helping the guests get to safety but I understand with so much going on why it was.
I’m confused about why they knocked Cisco unconscious. I’m guessing he is going to come to the rescue next episode since Felicity, Iris, Kara and Harry since they trapped in Star Labs. There have been spoilers of him driving the waverider at some point so I’m guessing he must wake up pretty soon into episode 3.
Prommy Tommy.. called this one way back in September when they release that first ‘comic’ poster. But I mean come on, did we have to watch Oliver watch his best friend die for a second time?
I’m really starting to get really frustrated with the idea of Oliver and other women. I’ve always though Oliver and Felicity were special but the writers keep showing Oliver in relationships with other women and where he is ‘all in’ he loves so easily which feels somewhat contradictory to his past and who he used to be. When he was with Sara he wanted to move in together. Last years crossover and it was marrying Laurel and this year its Earth X Oliver being married to Earth X Kara. The more they write these storylines the more frustrated I get. We have something special in Olicity, why can’t that be enough?
I completely understand Felicity being cautious about marrying Oliver and being scared after all that happened with them and what happened with her parents but I really wish they had let her explain to Oliver what she was really feeling and not that she doesn’t want to get married and to ‘respect her on this’. Feels unnecessarily cruel to leave Oliver hanging like that, giving him doubts about her love for him.
The more these episodes progressed with Martin talking about his family and retiring I kept repeating to myself like a mantra, please don’t let him die. I know there were spoilers about him dying and I know Victor is leaving the show but is it too much to hope that he gets to go off and retire in peace with his family? Please.
Iris and Felicity stuff is all great. I love that we are finally getting to see some female friendships get some much needed screen time and I hope there are even more scenes like this in the next 2 episodes.
‘Superspeed, I don’t have it’ scene was a funny little moment.
Thank you Kara for being grossed out about her doppelganger being married to Earth X Oliver.
Okay so this one is really bothering me, could someone please explain to me why Eobard gives a shit about saving Overgirl? I mean I get the plan was to take control of Earth 1 with their stupid regime but mostly they have been trying to save Earth X Kara, so again why does Eobard care? What’s his angle in all this?
Really liked the tech talk scene about tracking down Earth X Kara and I really loved that they included Alex in on it. I feel like her experience in bio-engineering gets forgotten a lot so it was nice that she’s included not just on the action sequences but this one too. And as much as I also liked the Felicity/Harry dynamic I did find myself missing Cisco.
That Oliver, Barry and Iris scene killed me again. How could Oliver think that Felicity doesn’t love him as much as he loves her?
Was anyone else extremely distracted by Caity Lotz stunt double? Her hair was several shades lighter and longer than Caity’s so I could instantly tell without trying when Caity was on screen and when it was her stunt double.
‘Anyone else want to be a hero’ actually cheered at this scene when NTA came in. I didn’t realise how much I had missed them til that happened.
I’ve been finding the group fight scenes in Arrow a little hard to follow lately it jumps so quickly from one person to another but I didn’t have that problem with the big fights scenes in the crossover. Not sure if that is to do with the size of the sets they were filming on or the stunt coordinator but it was good.
So how does Earth X Kara getting a new heart help her radiation issue? like.. that’s not how radiation poisoning works, it doesn’t just attach to one organ.
So Iris and Felicity weren’t captured just trapped in Star Labs. Maybe they have a hand in waking Cisco up before they get found?
Am I the only one who genuinely thought this episode was going to end of the cliffhanger of our favorite heroes on a firing line? I’m surprised it ended the way it did.
–
Okay so that’s it. While there were a lot of little moments I liked through these episodes I feel quite indifferent about them as a whole. That said though I’m very interested to see how things wrap up tomorrow. If only for that happy scene we know is coming at the end :)
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First Look and Review! Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes in Disneyland’s Downtown Disney District!
We’re at Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes, the newest eatery in the Disneyland Resort!
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
Located in the Downtown Disney District (you’ll find it directly downstairs from the recently opened Ballast Point Brewery & Kitchen), the incredibly popular New York City-based restaurant has brought its signature burgers, CrazyShakes, and more to its first California location!
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
We are so excited to be here! And, in fact, so are lots of other people…
Line Forming at Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
… and we’re happy to bring you right on in with us!
Atmosphere
If you’re looking for a little taste of the Big Apple when you’re in Downtown Disney, look no further than Black Tap Craft Burgers and Shakes.
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
The use of black which sets the tone is not overwhelming with the balance of light woods and contrasts in the street art stylings on the walls.
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
And you’ll find pops of color in some of the art which brightens things up even more.
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
When reading the menu (we’ll look through it in the next section), we noticed a note where Black Tap describes itself as “upscale but not fussed up,” which is a good description of the hip vibe.
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
Now, we’re not digging in quite yet, but let’s talk CrazyShakes for just a minute. (Okay, we really can’t do that without at least giving a little sneak peek…)
CrazyShakes
Black Tap Craft owns the bragging rights as being the original home for over-the-top milkshakes. Those insane topped-with-everything shakes you’ll find at spots like Beaches & Cream and Planet Hollywood Observatory in Disney World?
Yeah, you’re looking at the inspiration for all of them right here at Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes! So before we start sipping our own, there are some features that are unique to the Downtown Disney Black Tap location, and two of them are in regards to CrazyShakes. First is the walk-up window outside entirely dedicated to to-go CrazyShakes!
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes
And back inside, there is also a bar where guests can see CrazyShakes as they are made.
CrazyShakes Bar
CrazyShakes Bar
The Downtown Disney location also has its own service-style in comparison to Black Tap Craft’s other locations… and, in fact, in comparison to most restaurants around Disneyland Resort. Called “enhanced fast-casual,” guests place their order at the counter, and then seat themselves.
Orders are delivered to the table. Now here’s where the unique feature comes in… let’s say you’d like, say, another CrazyShake, or an order of Fried Mozz.
Fried Mozz
Well, then, you can stay in your seat from this point and a Black Tap team member can help you out while you remain seated.
Of course, you have to decide what you’d like to order first…
Eats
Black Tap is known for their burgers and shakes, but there’s much more to the menu. (Click the image below to enlarge.)
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes Food Menu
Outside, we received a printed menu with item descriptions to help make some decisions while waiting in line. But if you walk right in, you’ll see the menu over the ordering counters as well.
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes Menu
Taking a closer look, starter snacks include classics like Fried Mozz, but also Crispy Brussels Sprouts among the offerings. And the Wings flavors include Spicy Korean BBQ and Mexican Hot Sauce.
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes Menu
And, of course, those Craft Burgers make up a big part of the menu, including a Vegan Burger and Turkey Burger along with The Greg Norman 1/2 pound Wagyu beef burger. Though the emphasis is, as expected, on the burgers you’ll find a couple of Chicken Sandwiches, too. You may also want to know that vegan and gluten-free buns are available as well, for an additional $2.00.
Fun add-ons for your burger include a fried egg, bacon, caramelized onions, and any house sauce (you’ll see those listed in the next pic), to name a few.
Next up are Craft Burger Salads! These include a Black Tap Burger Salad. Fries & Onion Rings add to the offerings.
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes Menu
And check out The Diz Kid (mini prime burger meal) under the Kids’ Menu!
The drink menu is where you’ll see Black Tap’s famous CrazyShakes highlighted among the offerings! Other beverage options include Craft Beer on Tap with 21st Amendment Blood Orange and Golden Road Pineapple Cart among the selections. Housemade Iced Tea, Lemonade, and Cocktails are available, too.
Black Tap Craft Drink Menu
Let’s take a closer look at the CrazyShakes by way of the printed menu. You’ll notice that the top three — Cotton Candy, The Cake Shake, and Sweet ‘N Salty — are available only for guests dining in.
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes Shake Menu
But no matter whether you dine in or pick up your shake outside, you’ll be able to order from the Classic Shakes (including Peanut Butter, Caramel, and Nutella among the choices) and five CrazyShakes including the Bam Bam (Fruity Pebbles) Shake, The Brooklyn Blackout, and the Downtown Disney-exclusive Strawberry Shortcake.
And if all that doesn’t make you ready to dig in…
LET’S EAT!
… then I don’t know what will!
DIG IN!
Starting with a couple from the Snacks list, we tried the Fried Pickles and the Fried Mozz. The Fried Pickles are served with the house buttermilk-dill sauce.
Fried Pickles
These are so fun for sharing. But even better, they’re seriously tasty! That thick golden batter ups the ante on these, and the buttermilk-dill is the perfect balance to the pucker from the pickle.
And, really, can you ever go wrong with Fried Mozz? While these are pretty much the regular awesome, crunchy, gooey things you’d expect when ordering some fried mozzarella, there are two interesting touches to point out.
Fried Mozz
First, that sauce is a smoky chipotle tomato sauce (as opposed to your regular marinara), adding some great, unique flavor. And second… you gotta love how they topped fried cheese sticks with EVEN MORE CHEESE. Nice!
But if you’re at Black Tap, you’ve clearly got to go for some burgers. And thanks to the vegan and turkey options (along with those gluten free and vegan bun options), there’s something to meet just about any burger craving.
The Texan Burger starts out like all the other beef burgers: with the “prime burger patty” of 7 ounces of 100% Black Angus USDA certified beef, and served with fries, lettuce, tomato, and a pickle on a potato roll. It’s topped with bacon, aged cheddar, and a huge onion ring, with BBQ sauce and mayo to finish.
The Texan Burger
All the beef burgers are cooked to medium (unless otherwise requested). Overall, regarding our four burgers, we thought a couple of them were a little overdone. But just by a touch and it didn’t take away too much from the flavor.
Plus the toppings are terrific, as is the case with The Pizza Burger, which is topped with marinara, fried mozzarella, and parmesan.
The Pizza Burger
We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again… don’t knock a fried mozzarella-topped burger ’til you try it, folks. It totally works!
The Mexico City is another burger topped with a huge onion ring. But heat seekers will definitely be interested in hearing about the other toppings on this one.
The Mexico City
You’re looking at pepper jack cheese and pickled jalapenos (look at the size of those slices!) with chipotle mayo for a finishing touch. This has a nice amount of kick to it for those who crave some spice!
There’s more to the Crispy Chicken Sandwich than the name implies.
Crispy Chicken Sandwich
The truly crispy chicken is topped with a tangy buttermilk coleslaw, cilantro, lime, and spicy mayo with Korean BBQ served on the side. Altogether, it’s a really flavorful sandwich that’s not just an afterthought in comparison to the burgers.
I’ve gotta say, though… we were all surprised by, of all things, The Turkey Burger! It’s topped with Swiss cheese, smashed avocado and truffle mayo.
Turkey Burger
Compared with the other burgers which lean towards over-the-top, you wouldn’t think this would be a standout. But it really was! This thing was packed with flavor thanks to some terrific seasoning, and the whole table was impressed.
We were less impressed, unfortunately, with the side of Teriyaki Broccoli. Seasoned with garlic, ginger, sesame, and scallion, it sounds pretty promising, right? I mean, it got ME to order broccoli, so that’s saying something.
Teriyaki Broccoli
But the broccoli itself was kind of limp and the teriyaki sauce was more sour than flavorful. I wouldn’t get it again.
Speaking of sauce, though, I’d highly recommend grabbing a couple of the house sauces to dip your fries or some huge, yummy onion rings. (Note that you do receive your choice of a sauce if you order a batch of onion rings or a batch of fries, but it’s fun to have a couple for the extra buck.)
Onion Ring Mickey… or is it just me seeing that?
Choices include Texas BBQ, Special Sauce, and Korean BBQ.
Housemade Sauces
Others include chipotle mayo, buttermilk-dill, and salsa verde.
Housemade Sauces
My favorite was the chipotle mayo, but my tablemates liked others the best, which is why it’s nice to have a few for the family or your friends to suit various tastes.
No matter what you order, you can’t leave without trying a CrazyShake!
CrazyShakes
Umm… or three
.
CrazyShakes
Let’s start with The Cake Shake (which, you should know, is served at a limited quantity per day. It’s the only one noted as such on the menu.
The Cake Shake
A cake batter shake (seriously, yuuuuummmmm) has a vanilla frosted rim with oodles of rainbow sprinkles. It’s topped with an entire slice of funfetti cake, whipped cream, and MORE sprinkles. And a cherry on top, of course!
The Bam Bam Shake is a Fruity Pebbles Shake.
Bam Bam Shake
This time, the vanilla frosted rim is covered in fruity pebbles, which also top that GIGANTIC pile of whipped cream. So much whipped cream, in fact, that’s it’s hard to see that there’s also a rice krispy treat, a strawberry Pop-Tart, and some Laffy Taffy in there, too, for good measure! Oh, AND a cherry on top!
The Cookie Shake has a vanilla cookie base.
Cookie Shake
And it is NO JOKE. The vanilla frosted rim is coated in cookie crumbles, and it’s topped with a “cookiewich,” crumbled cookies, chocolate chip, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce.
And what I say for one of these, I say for all… the CrazyShakes are the real deal. Not only are they the original, but they’re simply better and higher quality than the other over-the-top shakes I’ve tried (and I’ve had a few!). The baked goods topping the shakes were all super fresh and tasty in their own right. Then the shakes themselves offered their own really interesting flavors. Plus they were super creamy, not too icy at all. It is nice to know that — as Instagram-worthy as they are — the CrazyShakes aren’t just for show. They’re legit. So, grab a straw — AND a fork
— and drink up!
That said, if CrazyShakes strike you as a little much after a burger and everything else, since the actual shakes themselves are so good, you can just go with one of the Classic Shakes.
Peanut Butter Shake
May I recommend the Peanut Butter? Because, WOW!
Overall
Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes has truly delivered at the new Downtown Disney District location! To put it simply, it’s really good food making it a spot that’s well worth a visit. Plus, it’s fun! Though one of the first pictures in this post did have a line (and there was actually a longer one during my time there for the first day), it had definitely died down and was not crowded at all by the time we left. So don’t let fear of a line keep you from stopping by and enjoying some New York City eats at Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes on your next trip to Disneyland Resort!
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Related posts:
See the CrazyShakes To-Go Menu With A First Look at Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes in the Downtown Disney District!
Opening Soon! Black Tap Craft Burgers & Shakes in Disneyland’s Downtown Disney District
Salt & Straw Ice Cream Cookbook Tour Will Stop in Disneyland’s Downtown Disney District
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Day 11: Backstory
Or, alternatively known as How Did His Life Come to This?
Summary:
Whitebeard hums, and extends his hand, “why don’t you join my crew Thatch, sail with me below the stars and into battle, and I will call you my son.”
He spluttered, when he was captured and then fighting the first mate of the Whitebeard Pirates, he hadn’t expected anything like this, ever. “Um-”
Thatch was not having a very fantastic day if you asked him this morning.
If anything, today was the worst day of his life.
Firstly, he had left his hidey hole on Sabaody to check the most recent bounties – he only hunted sometimes, when it was absolutely necessary.
He didn’t like to deprive people of their dreams but if he couldn’t feed himself then…
He had gone to work at the little restaurant as per usual, seeing as working there helped assuage some of his financial issues. And then, the little restaurant was attacked by some of the local pirates, and one of them had a pretty freaky devil fruit, and not to mention that the asshole knew how to look after himself.
Then, when the rest of the culinary masters attempted to fight back despite Thatch’s pleads for them to just get the fuck out of there, they were utterly annihilated.
Which had led to a third being killed in the battle, sliced and diced, shot repeatedly, beaten, the pirates didn’t leave much to the imagination. But what’s worse is that they strung up some of the chefs in front of a captive (when he says captive, he means captive) audience.
And whoever was left were carted off onto what Thatch presumed was their base of operations, the fact that these ‘pirates’ called themselves hardened sea-farers, which was pretty bullshit in his opinion.
Attacking only those who could not defend themselves and then make a living off of them, because that’s what was going to happen, he was probably going to either become their slave or be sold off to another human dealer and worse, sold to a Tenryuubito.
Not that they’d be bothered with a scarred chef, he bet they had plenty of professionals in the ‘holy land of Mariejois’.
He spat up a thick wad of blood, wincing, that probably wasn’t too healthy. Taking a cursory glance at the crude shackles hanging him to the stone wall of the filthy cell, he wondered how he would be getting out of this situation.
He wanted to at least save the other chefs, they’d shown kindness to him, he hunted bounties near them and cashed them in and worked double as a chef for them.
Whatever, he will get them out of this situation.
Cheeseface – he was named Cheeseface because of the nature of his mouldy akuma no mi – appeared between the bars of the 2 by 2 cell and sneered inwards at him, “Ah, m’lad, should ‘a heard how lou’ the lass screamed.”
“Leave them alone.” It was a worn-out sentence but he wouldn’t stop until they heeded his wish. “Please.”
“Nah, I reckon we gunna leave ya ‘til las’ so ya can hear all o’ their pretty lil’ screams.” He smiles again, a chessboard smile. “Ya chef’s need ta learn how ta holdja pears.” He cackled, delighted at the absolute hatred in Thatch’s eyes.
“Leave them alone!” He shouted again, kicking at the bars.
Cheeseface growled, grin disappearing. “Shut ya trap, should be glad we ain’t doin’ worse to ‘em. ‘sides, we’re movin’ ‘bout an hour, so. Cap’n’s gunna take on Whitebeard.”
His eyes bulged out of his head at the pure stupidity of the pirates. “The strongest man in the world? You’re going to take him on? You idiot! You’ll get us all killed!”
This time Cheeseface grabbed his leg and to Thatch’s horror a green mould began to creep up his leg. “Now you ain’t gunna last long, pity but it’ll be fun ta see ya rottin’ corpse when we’re the stronges’ crew.”
Thatch hung there in his chains, pompadour lying limp, why had it come to this?
Sighing he tried to haul himself up, wary of the mould on his leg, some were quite poisonous when inhaled and he wasn’t entirely sure which strain it was, so for the meantime he tried to keep his dignity even as he stripped off the pants to his ankles, hoping that leaving them there, pooling in between in his shoes would ensure that the mould would not harm him.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t had the mind to steal anything from his captives otherwise he would have been out of here much quicker.
Thatch wasn’t sure because there weren’t any windows but, an hour later, another pirate, this time with a leather mask wrapped around his eyes came around, keys jangling within his kimono. “Get up.” He said gruffly, unlocking the cell, taking a closer look he said. “Get your pants on.”
He looked forlornly at the pants but shrugged as he skilfully pulled them up with his feet and legs, trying his best to ignore the mould that was steadily creeping towards his upper body. Thatch complied again, lest the pirate think he not need his arms despite the protests from aforementioned limbs at the angle he was bending them.
“Try anything and I’ll run you through, got it?” He said, shifting a little so his katana was visible.
“Got it.”
Paying attention to what the man was holding, he noticed a pirate flag brooch on the crease of his kimono.
Rookie mistake, now he just had to keep the man distracted, Thatch allowed himself to be chained to the man, cuffs digging painfully into his skin.
“So, your boss is going to challenge the Whitebeard huh?” He said conversationally.
The pirate didn’t respond. “Well, personally I think he has a lot of guts, to think that such a weak captain would believe he had a smidgen of a chance against the Strongest Man Alive.”
His words rung through the stone hallway and the pirate stopped them both, fury palpable, he withdrew the gleaming katana from its sheath, placing it warningly against his back, but Thatch wasn’t stupid and he knew that it was preferable if he was alive right now.
“You lot must be really fucking dumb to think you can face him.”
Mask growled again and punched him square in the jaw, ignoring the ringing in his ears and the black spots dancing along his vision he did his part in egging Mask on by insulting the captain once more, this time when the pirate got in close enough, Thatch kicked him right where he-shall-not-name.
As Mask fell forward Thatch kneed his face, hearing a satisfying crunch and the warm feeling of blood pour through his mouldy pants.
He left Mask on the ground after carefully picking his locks, “Hmm.” Holding the unlocked chains in his hand he smirked and tied the man carefully up.
“Oi! Marron, hurry up!” Making a split decision that Thatch would come to love and hate later on in life, he quickly donned Mask’s clothing and dressed the other man, puffing the brown hair to somewhat resemble a pompadour he almost cried as he slashed his own.
“I’m coming!” He said gruffly, trying to sound annoyed.
He dragged the unconscious Mask behind him, despite how shitty the man actually was, he had quite good taste in clothing, he means, even the mask and gloves had a fur lining.
“What took so long?” Cheeseface asks and he growls out as menacingly as he can.
Thatch gazes up at the ship in mild disgust, it was the size of a gallion, floating in the breeze their jolly roger - a skull and crossbones being split by a double-edged axe.
“Stupid bastard thought he could fight.” Voice guttural it clearly fools the dumbass for Cheesface seemed to accept the explanation and gestured to one of the cages above the stone base of operations on the ship for him to place his ‘prisoner’.
Throwing in the man extra roughly to ensure that he wouldn’t be waking up on their journey, Thatch retreated into the bowels of the ship, he didn’t want to deal with the likes of these monkeys.
“How exactly am I going to get out of this one?” It was the million-dollar question.
After shifting through the rooms and coming across several unpleasant sights – heads, headless bodies, what kind of fluid is that? Couples going at it, torture chambers, he’d seen it all.
Finally he stumbled across what he assumed was Mask’s room and sighed with relief, inside were more masks.
And books, lots of them.
But photos too, lining the walls of the small room. He looked like he owned a, bandicoot?
Dumbass.
Flopping onto the bed without bothering to change Thatch slept despite being in the midst of enemy territory, he figured he was safe for now.
***
He definitely was not safe, judging by the way the ship had come alive in his absence, like tiny ants they searched the decks multiple times and the quarters, oh, and mask was outside of the cage, attended to by a doctor.
Oh well, he was relatively safe up in the crows nest, these pirates were pretty dull. He had somehow managed to slip past their defences and scale the crow's nest without anybody noticing, all he really had to do was remove the mask and they all thought he was somebody else just looking for land.
He had to plan for when the ship did arrive to wherever Whitebeard supposedly was, he could just be on his merry way but he had a feeling that the strongest man alive would not allow any survivors.
So that left plan 2, behead the captain when he tried to attack Whitebeard and ask to be a part of his crew.
Crude, but probably effective, Thatch had a vague idea about the powerhouses in the crew from the numerous bounties.
Marco the phoenix was just one of those.
Or there was a third option, just wait the whole thing out and watch them fight it out from the safety of the crow’s nest.
He sighed again, this whole thing had just been a mess from day one.
"Land aho!" He shouted down the pole to the crew when he did sight the island on the horizon.
Hopefully they wouldn't actually request him to descend when they did arrive. It was sometime later when his legs were truly cramped and the air was cold that they came to a stop.
He shook out of his short slumber and peered out at the assembled pirates, their captain was a hulking fellow and Thatch snorted at the sight of the double-bladed axe.
The Whitebeard pirates were on shore, a massive bonfire illuminating their faces in a garish light.
Without hesitation the slightest bit of hesitation, the crew jump out of the ship along ropes and ladders into the water, wading into shore.
But, as the stupid pirates were distracted he shimmied down the crow’s nest and stealthily slipped past the singular guard on the ship patrolling, he still had the keys from Mask and he was going to free the chefs.
Keys jangling more than he liked he wandered around the deck, pulling the guard into a sleeper hold and gently setting him down in the empty cage.
“Sedrid! Is that you?” One of the chefs asks through his split lips.
“Shh! We can’t let them know that I’m here.” He whispers, wincing at the use of his false name but, regardless, he holds up the keys for the chefs.
“Thank you, bless you.” The chef says, bringing his hands together as if he is praying for him.
As soon as the chefs were all free Thatch hunts for one of the little life-boats he noticed before up in the crow’s nest.
In a joint effort, they carefully drop three of the ships into the water and drop into them, they ensure that they’re still anchored to the shore.
“Okay, we’re still in paradise so I’d say that you can make it to Sabaody on these, here, you just have to follow this log-pose and you’ll make it back.” Thatch says, tossing it to the head chef.
“Paradise?” The chef looked confused at the terminology of the weathered ex-pirate.
“Yeah, you know of the second half of the grand line? It makes the first half look like paradise.” He explained quickly, ushering them into the life boats.
The chefs looked at him dumb-struck, but Thatch was done explaining, looking over to the pirates he noticed that they still hadn’t attacked Whitebeard yet, probably too cocky to do so yet.
He should have figured that the idiots believed that their captain would be the one because he was big.
He unties the lifeboats, severing them for life and tosses them out to see. He desperately hopes that they would all survive the journey. “Thanks for everything you did for me.”
They smiled collectively through their split lips, unhinged jaws and various other injuries sustained as a result of torture.
He felt another twinge of regret at the reduced numbers and the numerous injuries but he supposes it cannot be helped.
Thatch returned to the crow’s nest, he was here to ensure that they got a large enough head-start on the other pirates, hopefully the pirates would put up a bit of a fight up.
Thatch could see that the Whitebeard pirates were in a party of full swing, the Strongest Man Alive was sitting on a throne (chair) and sipping the blood of his enemies – okay maybe that was melodramatic but sake was boring.
Bozo – because he looked like a boulder and was dumb – stepped forward.
Thatch silently watched, withdrawing his (well it was now) katana as the pirates eagerly crowded around the ‘surprised’ party of troops.
“Whitebeard! I’ve come for your head.” Bozo cajoled, his crew whooping around him in anticipation.
But Whitebeard only said. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something kid?”
Thatch wasn’t sure what was funnier, the blatant dismissal, the ‘kid’ part or maybe the growing anger on Bozo’s face.
Bozo swung his ‘mighty’ axe, but it wasn’t Whitebeard that intercepted the blade, no, Thatch recognised the world renowned ‘Flower Sword’ Vista.
“Sorry lad, but Pops is drinking right now, you’ll have to come back later if you want to challenge him.”
Bozo spluttered. “Do you know who I am?”
“No, and unfortunately I don’t care.” Vista retorted, gracefully swinging the axe away from him.
With another flick of the wrists, Bozo was sent flying backwards, landing on his arse causing Thatch to erupt in laughter.
“Idiot couldn’t even see what hit him.”
Finally, the pirates cried their battle cry and leapt forward, pistols and swords drawn, this entire process has been a mockery and they were clearly done playing games.
It was just a pity that they were completely and utterly slaughtered, destroyed by even the smallest of the Whitebeard pirates.
As far as Thatch knew, Bozo and Cheeseface were the only two that were decent at using haki, they could use armament but clearly hadn’t bothered to learn kenbunshoku.
Finally, Whitebeard stood, sighing and oh my god he was so much taller and bigger and musclier then what Thatch had anticipated. Whitebeard glares at the remaining men, and with a singular punch he brings down the entirety of the cockiness the pirates had.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit he’s screwed.
Any thoughts of trying to attack the already beaten pirates escapes his head and he sits down, legs shaking at the sight of power.
And then the Strongest Man raises his glare to the ship and finally withdraws the bisento laying at his side, with a swing of the blade the air seems to crack around him and before Thatch can yell at himself, he’s jumping out of the crow’s nest and into the icy sea.
The ship falls apart like it was made of cardboard in the icy embrace of the sea.
“Oh shit, oh shit.” He murmurs repeatedly as he tries to stealthily sneak away, but where could he go? The village is further inland and now that Thatch is getting closer, he can tell that the village is being protected by the Whitebeard pirates, judging from the enormous flag flapping in the wind.
He’s obviously not as stealthy as he thinks he is because he feels rather than hears the phoenix swoop down to where he’s crawling.
“Having fun down there?” Marco the Phoenix asks dryly.
“Yes, quite, would you mind if I just crawled to the village?” He asks, despite already knowing the answer.
“Sorry kid.”
As soon as the Phoenix reaches for him, Thatch swings the katana wildly, cleaving straight through the blue-bell flamed wings.
To his dread, it simply grows back as if nothing had happened. “A+ for effort kid.”
Scowling Thatch turns the blade black under his willpower. “Just let me go and nobody needs to get hurt.”
The Phoenix grins, “So you know haki? That’ll make this a little more interesting.”
Birdbrain swings his clawed foot at Thatch and then it begins, parrying back and forth with his claws and beak, Marco flies upward, before swooping back down, Thatch rolls out of the way lest he becomes a pancake and slices Marco’s neck.
Marco allows the swing and to his utter horror, the sliced neck grows anew, destroying his theory that haki would be effective.
It only seems to piss him off.
Marco leaps, turning half-human as to withdraw his own short sword, slicing at the air where his pompadour once was.
Thatch returns the blow, hitting the sword, each lean into the blow, attempting to gain some leverage on the other.
“So, Marco,” Thatch begins conversationally, flipping backwards out of the hold and shooting forward like a rocket, “how did you become a hearty dog of the sea?”
The Phoenix, to his credit, replies as he slashes with three of his limbs, “Whitebeard picked me up after I escaped my captors.”
“Huh,” panting a little, Thatch kicks sand into his face and sweeps his now human feet out from under him, the Phoenix soars up again, circling him.
Divebombing him for the second time the Phoenix says, “Can I ask what your name is? It only seems appropriate since, I’m, fighting, you.”
Each word is punctuated with a slash from one of his limbs.
Leaping through the kicks he replies. “The name’s Thatch.”
“Nice name, kid.” The phoenix leaps into the inky sky for the third time of the fight.
Dropping down again, Thatch brings his katana back but as Marco thrusts his own blade outwards a loud voice rings towards their fight. “Are you two done?”
Thatch turns in dread to face the sight of the Strongest Man Alive staring at them both imposingly, the blow that he was expecting never comes and he turns, gobsmacked to see the phoenix returning to human form and sheathing the short blade.
“Good fight kid.” He’s 21 dammit.
“Guarara! You don’t seem to be part of that miserable crew.” He observes.
Still too stunned to run he replies in a daze, “My fellow chefs and I were captured-”
“We’ve been needing a head chef, haven’t we Pops?” Marco says, side-eyeing his captain.
“Mm.” Whitebeard hums, switching his bisento to the other hand he extends his free hand, “why don’t you join my crew Thatch, sail with me below the stars and into battle, and I will call you my son.”
He spluttered, when he was captured and then fighting the first mate of the Whitebeard Pirates, he hadn’t expected anything like this, ever. “Um-”
His indecision melts away at the soft look in the sea farer, it had been so long since he had seen such a look, it had been dulled away by the years on his own. “Yes, Pops.” The Pops was a second thought but judging by the look of joy in the mans crinkled eyes, it was the right thing to say.
Marco grins. “Welcome aboard, Thatch.”
The next few hours are a blur as he works through the numerous Whitebeard pirates who he will probably never remember the names of, ever. He meets the commanders who welcome him in open arms.
Then he’s thrust to the cooks who sigh in relief when he takes charge and directs them to their separate chores, don’t get him wrong, they were insanely good and were able to cook for the sheer amount of people on the ship, but, they were never really trained to be head chefs.
And he settles into life with the Whitebeard pirates because it is the family he never had.
#20 years at sea#day 11: backstory#skipping days but it's fine#thatch#why is he dead#whitebeard pirates#Marco the Phoenix#Whitebeard#backstory#have i mentioned that this is speculation?
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Julie, SWEET Julie
SWEET little Julie always knew that she was such a nosy little scamp; she would constantly run down the stairs after breaking the locks on her room door exclusively to bother and nag her superior, the maidlady, about what it takes to be a woman, and how a girl would evolve to be as lovely and beautiful as possible in the eyes of men (and other women!). The maidlady was such a snark, she would often respond to Julie’s inquiries with the usual answers in the face of such questions like “Well dear, <giggle>, you would just need to be obedient, be polite, study your homework, be SWEET, listen to your superior: GO TO BED WHEN YOU’RE TOLD TO!! And remember: What goes inside, must always come out!!” Maidlady would then hand Julie a glass of warm milk and send her little butt right off back to bed. And so Julie did just that. In fact, Julie did a little TOO MUCH of just that! Julie lied down in her sheets, face planted in her pillow. She made herself dream of such wondrous things! Because, for a girl to end up being so dreamy, wouldn’t she also have to stir up some sweet things within her own dreams? It was about dead ‘til 1, and she was just sound asleep. And even so, Julie could feel the very shadow of a strange entity hovering above her body. Still dreaming she could not move an inch, and if she WERE awake, she’d be far too scared to turn around and see this strange creature; the thing made no noise as it laid its hand upon her back. It threw off her blanket and laid its fingers around her neck. Julie felt the sting, so much that it startled her awake. She felt all over herself in search of the sensation she was feeling, eyes darting across the dark room, tears in her eyes, in search of the weirdo that just laid its hand upon her. But it was too late. It vanished as soon as she had finished dreaming. Julie scratched her head, and slowly went back down, continuing to bury her face within her pillow once again...but her impeding, burning feeling that was overtaking her body just would not go away, and she could not sleep a wink, but cry between her lashes.
The sun rose next morning to Julie’s staggering over to her bathroom mirror...she lifted up her dress and pulled down her knickers to pee, and what did she see?! There were...HAIR down there where there weren’t any before! How incredibly...WEIRD. Julie just was so stranged out, that she had instantly lost the capacity in her gut to take a wee, as if somehow her bladder was no longer so wee...
Breakfast time. What was on the menu? A plate of French toast...and then some. It seems as though Julie were in the mood for...SWEET things, as the maidlady would soon notice as what seemed suddenly...off, as far as behavior of Julie goes...Maidlady turned to ask Julie at the table as Julie still stuffed her face, as to why Julie suddenly had such strange, unhealthy cravings. “Now, now, you’re going to spoil your dinner! Why, your lunch, your dinner, AND your dessert!!” Julie eyed her in the face for a second or two, and then went back to scarfing down the cupcakes. Maidlady continued, “Are you listening to me? Stop eating that trash!! You stupid rebellious girl, sugar makes ladies fat and ugly! Do YOU want to end up being fat and ugly??” Julie paused very briefly...and then fixed her gaze upon the maidlady’s chest...nodded to herself, then finally returned to her long, stuffy meal. Maidlady could only run off and roll her eyes in disbelief and disgust. Now for the donuts! Oh, how Julie’s poor clean, proper dress became covered in white powdered sugar!! Julie giggled as she imagined herself becoming like a sugar-coated donut, as a result of eating too many of them!
A few weeks of this same routine passed...But Julie still thought long and hard about that being that came to transform her that one fateful night...She had asked the maidlady the very night prior, about her...tingling sensation, as the few weeks before, she had barely the amount of courage to bring herself to finally do so, and the maidlady at last after a long sigh, responded, “This happens to every girl, Dearest. It happened to me when I was but a tiny girl...but in my case, sadly, I confess...it wasn’t natural...” Maidlady suddenly trailed off into mumbling as Julie could tell for the very first time that something was...off about her...the maidlady could only turn away shortly afterward, and run off into the ladies’ room, saying that she has something in her eye...Julie could only look on as the sound of her high heels clacking on the floor faded into the hallway...
Julie had just felt a burning sensation on her chest area now, so one morning, she lifted up her nightgown...and whaddaya know! Two tiny lumps were developing there, staring at her! Perhaps the SWEET sugar that Julie has been intaking, is transforming her into a beautiful young woman after all! ...But Julie had been torn on this for a while...After all, didn’t the maidlady tell her that eating too many SWEET things could make her grow up to be “fat and ugly”???! No...Julie proposed to herself that perhaps that was all just bluffing. Besides, she always sees the maidlady’s super-flat chest. And from what Julie’s learned about male society from TV and movies, men don’t really like flat chests, do they? (The maidlady never got married.)
So Julie kept stuffing herself with sweets for months to come. Maidlady kept warning her. But Julie did not listen. ...One day, Julie even chugged down a whole pitcher’s worth of syrup! Yummy for the tummy (And other soft frontal areas)! Julie awakened many more months later, more eager than last time to undress and see her feminine bodily developments. Julie now at last had a bit of a belly going on, and her chest and backside were much rounder and fluffier than they’ve ever been before when she was younger. Julie found much joy in playing with her newfound bloated flesh, in fact.
...Suddenly, Julie had a bit a rude, and strange, awakening; ants were invading her bed, biting at her hands and feet! A whole colony of them, it seemed wanted in on the action, as if Julie were suddenly some really SWEET-smelling snack or something!? Julie screeched, waking up the maidlady and pretty much the entire neighborhood, as she jumped up in pain, and fueled by rage and disgust, thrashed her pillow upon the vermin to try to squish them, or scare the rest off.
The maidlady called it an unforseen infestation; she called the exterminators to have their home sprayed, as Julie and the maidlady drove down the countryside to have a picnic together by the park, to get their minds off of the nasty situation, and to have some quality time together, enjoying the fresh outdoors for once, and, of course, getting a SWEET bite to eat. Outside on a nice, grassy hill in the shade of a lone tree, Maidlady was unpacking the rations from her picnic basket, as Julie sat down, and tried her best to look strong and unfazed by the nasty experience with the ants, despite actually still being a little disturbed, trying not to shiver in disgust in front of the maidlady. Despite the maidlady’s best efforts to try to deter Julie away from the nasty sugary sweets, Julie still strongly insisted on gobbling up the sweets: cupcakes, twinkies, donuts, candy and all. All while staring at the maidlady’s pitiful chest. Poor thing, Julie always thought. At this point, Julie had begun to notice that, despite being less than a quarter the maidlady’s age, the size of her features had already begun to surpass that of the maidlady! And it was all thanks to the sweets. And “puberty”. That’s right, Julie continued to think to herself, she’ll remember that night when the Great Invisible Puberty Fairy had come to pay her a visit! Oh, what a blessing that was! Julie will grow up to be the most gorgeous woman who ever lived! Julie’s day-dreaming fantasies of being a model are short-lived, however, as the maidlady suddenly speaks to her, almost sounding to be in genuine shock at something: “Julie”, she yelled, pointing at the girl in surprise, “You’re covered in ants again!!”
Julie jumped up and wiped off all the bugs from her dress yet again, as the ants just seem to have a thing for the poor girl nowadays! Her and the maidlady are now standing, just as they are about to run away, they look at the ground and notice seemingly an entire army of the rascals scurrying around in a single-file line surrounding their picnic area! ...Perhaps they unknowingly sat by a field of anthills? Julie scratched all over, as the maidlady grabbed her and they ran off together, got into the car to return to their newly-sprayed home, and hopefully to put some ice on all those itchy, burning ant bites all over poor Julie’s skin...
...Now back in their clean, man-made home, the maidlady takes Julie into her restroom with a fresh bag of ice and some special ointments to hopefully soften the burn of those swollen bites. She undresses the miserable, aching, weeping Julie to see even more ant bites in some rather uncomfortable places...The maidlady scolded Julie, realizing that perhaps it was due to all the sugary SWEETs that Julie had eaten during that picnic that her body had become the sole target for the sugar-hungry insects. Julie can only pretend to nod in fake agreement, as she still stubbornly stands by her own belief that continuing to eat sugar will help her to develop a quality body. ...Maybe being bitten by ants is just something that she’ll have to endure for the rest of her life? As a trade-off for being beautiful, Julie always knew that becoming a beautiful person must come with some discipline, after all. The maidlady’s skinny chest and posterior are still her antithesis to this.
Whilst gently applying the ice and lotions to Julie’s hurties, the maidlady could only see something, stop suddenly, and make a face so contorted and disturbed that even Julie could look at her and notice something was definitely the matter with her, and ask her what is wrong. The maidlady could only freak out, whip out her phone to call the hospital and start shouting at them to come here to pick Julie up as a patient, as, in the maidlady’s words, Julie has developed an unusual “startling skin condition”. Julie, confused and startled, looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. What she saw on her thighs was every bit as strange, supernatural, and shocking to her, as it was for the maidlady: Her skin was becoming coated with white flakes of sugar! Freaked out, she tried scratching at it, and it would not come off. It’s almost as if her flesh was regenerating powdered sugar from the inside-out, as no matter how much she would scratch at it, the sugar would just fall off onto the floor, or fill her fingernails and stain her fingers. After a few minutes of waiting for the ambulance to come, Julie eventually proposed to the maidlady that maybe she should try licking or biting it off of Julie. The maidlady quickly rejected the idea, as she thought it “gross, creepy, and inappropriate”. It took Julie a while to agree, and she even became rather creeped out and disgusted with herself to even have such a fantasy...Although, she WAS caught in the middle of puberty...
Just a few seconds later, some ambulance workers busted through the front door to grab Julie and take her and the maidlady to the hospital. The maidlady was there next to Julie, lying on a stretcher like a freak, to soothe her and tell her that everything is going to be okay...as long as Julie doesn’t eat. Any. More. SWEETs!! In the emergency room, the doctors and nurses could only look on, baffled, and utterly stupefied. They called doctors, scientists, and even bakers from all across the country to have a look at Julie and examine her surreal condition. Why, Julie was on TV! She was all over the news!! This excited Julie. She WAS doing the right thing after all!! Julie IS beautiful enough to be on television, as only beautiful people are allowed to star on the telly, right?!? Further analyses of Julie only brought up the following prognosis from even the most legendary of surgeons and scientists: “Patient is female, age 12, and British. Her skin condition is largely abnormal, is scientifically unexplored, sugar-based, and utterly delicious. Come on in and we’ll let you lick her for 8 shillings!! This girl is going to make us filthy rich! ...Wait, did I just say that on-camera?”
Things only went downhill for Julie herself, however, as her sugar-coated flesh condition only worsened over time. All those SWEET donuts they gave her did not help. One morning a nurse walked into Julie’s ER, and screamed at the sight of her, practically covered in sugary lumps, and starting to look like a giant Sour Patch Kid. The poor little scared nurse could only run screaming down the halls to alert the whole staff to Julie’s attention, and thus they decided that too much sugar isn’t exactly a good thing for a hospital full of sick people, so they decided to let the maidlady take Julie home. Julie could just barely walk in her new form. It was quite freaky and saddening to watch from the maidlady’s point of view. But Julie, on the other hand? She has become fully convinced that she is the most lovely-looking human being ever, and she now demands more candy from the maidlady’s already-suffering wallet’s expense! The maidlady absolutely refuses now. She has at last put her foot down. But that does not stop Julie. Julie was big now. Big enough to angrily run up to the maidlady, tackle her against the wall, and force her to go the candy store to pick up some more SWEETs for Julie to stuff her face with by threatening to crush her beneath all of her SWEET, sugary weight!! The maidlady, now with her very life threatened, has no choice but to follow orders, running out the door, tears in her eyes, as Julie has now transformed into a giant, gluttonous, selfish abomination of SWEET sugary goodness, and nothing is going to get in her way of eating even more SWEETs until she becomes even more monstrous. What is the poor maidlady to do?!
Giant, mean, hungry sugar addict Julie stuffs her face as the maidlady could only look on and question her own life choices. And also whether or not this is all just some kind of strange, sick sugar-induced dream on her end. Sadly, it is not. The maidlady has desperately pinched herself on the cheek in vain. Multiple times. All she can do now is drink liquor.
Julie is now a blob of SWEET. Pure, unadulterated SWEET. Why, as the maidlady who is now her very own maidlady to bring her all the SWEETs in the world, who is there to stop Julie? The British army?! Ha!! Their weapons are completely ineffective on Julie. Don’t even ask. They’ve already tried. The soldiers just gave up and hung up their weapons in embarrassment. Julie is invincible. Even the maidlady, now at last at the edge of insanity from being treated as a slave by Julie, has asked the Queen if there were any possible way to kill Julie and end her reign of terror. Heaven forbid the Americans found out about this! They would all laugh their bums off at us!!
~~~To Be Continued...
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Worst things about the West midlands.
Full of unfriendly, judgemental cunts who think their shit doesn't stink and will try whatever they can to rob you, unfriendliest place in the UK by miles
Avoid places like Ladywood, Shard End, Perry Barr, Lozells, Handsworth. All those areas have been ruined by Labour Party MPs and Birmingham City's Labour Council. Those areas are known to have gangs, high unemployment, welfare dependency, poor schools, housing and health services. Ladywood is an area known for having the highest number fatherless families on welfare. So if you like single mothers with 5+ children, then Ladywood is the place to be.
Too many beggars! I was begged three times by different people each time in multiple places in the city centre! I was even begged in M&S in the train station! Far too many ugly looking flats that accumulate Birmingham's skyline, too many immigrants, tired looking buildings, the accents are quite dreadful, the list goes on...
I've travelled extensively all over Curling Turd Island U.K and once again it just goes to show that you can polish a turd, but in B'Ham only in places!! First impression's when I fell off the train at the labyrinthine maze that is Moor Street Station was how warped everyone looked, especially in and around Pidgeon 'Ole Park. Must of been years of abuse at the hands of vile tasting tap water (filtered from the canal of dead things and chemical waste, no doubt). Tapwater that just makes you fart and shit all day long without no sign of giving up (Aston). Also how unadulteratedly dangerous and awful the pavements and roads are here and how badly planned "Sloppy Second's" is on the whole. A big no no for visitor's/guests. Everything in this binned off, trolleyed country is only in car-distance, as per usual, and OMG what an infested shit'ole - rat's, wasps everywhere, ant's nests, aliens from outer space and Zombie's everywhere!! Progress is so slow in B'ham, is Sloppy Seconds therefore by dinosaurs? The main urban sprawl High Streets are caked with Zombie's walking up and down all day with their hand's out, looking for something (for nothing) -the nanny-stater's have the wrong shit-trousers on all day with only dick-pence to offer anyone. I want to get out!
The accent. Is it even English? I thought Ozzy Osbourne's speech was incomprehensible because it was affected by years of drug abuse...until I moved to Birmingham.
All the lads speak like Benny from Crossroads and the girls are goddam hideous and go out sat night with all their fat on show, fat thighs in mini skirts, love handles bulging over waistlines and massive arses in tight clothing - not a good look. Brums have no class or etiquite
OMG where do I start - driving there is hell, brum accent makes anyone u speak to appear as thick as shit, hardly anyone has a proper job an loads on the dole, very dirty, chavs chavs and more chavs, pigeon shit all over the place, beggars, whores and pimps at every corner. Basically an ugly uninspiring city inhabited by unemployed losers.
what exactly is there about birmingham to make one jealous - this is obviously a joke - go to manchester, edinburgh, london, bristol instead.
Birmingham actually is the Second City. It didn't gain that name through through no reason at all. Don't believe otherwise. Mancs are just jealous that Brum got the name before they did. This is one of the worst things about Birmingham. Or should that be about Manchester? Hrrrm.
Being the victim of homophobic verbal abuse on the train into the station when I'd been enjoying myself previously in the modern and enlightened city that is Manchester. Well done you two prats/bigots - you must feel really clever- I just feel sorry for you.
erdington high street oh what a joy to walk down there on a saturday after the alkies and bag heads have finished with it . it reminds me of the thriller video except a 100 times more paranoid.and the bromford estate ive seen better estates in the third world.cheesy kevs chavy daves and sharons with the standard " ennit " nosestud ,saxo drivers,bmw innit drivers,and them divs who wear coats on hot days with there farahs on and a key chain and greased hair who aint had the ride in years..
it is full of windowlickers
Manchester IS the second city. Brummies and their surrounding counties that use the city need to come out of denial and actually look at the facts. Birmingham is a disgrace: right wing, old fashioned and very very unfriendly.
unfriendly people, with an old school culture all of their own - most of the midlands is like this - with the exception of nottingham
Dreary, dull city in the middle of three old school, old fashioned counties, unfriendly people, junkies, lack of fashion sense and grooming.
Teen Culture ( A unch of Weemo Teeny Boppers dancing to Panic! At the Disco and the fucking Kooks.
sty andrews. a piss poor imitation of legoland
crowds, ignorance
lots an lots of pigeons that wait til ur a few inches away before flyin in ur face lol
public transport
Kings Heath High Street: More nutters per metre then Bedlam on a full moon.
The people - rude, ignorant, arrogant, unfriendly, cocky ... not nice. I hardly speak to them, as I hate the accent as well. Black Country accent IS totally different - better, as we don't have extended vowels that go on forever !!!!!!!!!!
The Brummies - arrogant, ignorant, rude, impatient & think they're better than anyone else 'cause they live in Britain's 2nd city. Erdington - what an area, never realised such bad areas existed. At least I never have to go out with my hair brushed, otherwise they all stare. The homeless people - why so many & where do they go when the change shift at Snow Hill ?
More Area more "chav's" and/or "Gansta's"
homeless, someone please look after them., they need our help
few idiots
Chavscum and 'PUNK' wannabes will always be the worst. Yes, Birmingham is still quite dirty, but most of the dirty dirty bits have been filtered out, unlike Manchester... ughh.
rain!
Birmingham is crap. Traffic congestion means it takes forever to get anywhere, and it's a nightmare getting a taxi home from town. The place has no character, and Brummies moan constantly. Everything here is mainstream, and there is no real alternative culture. The people who like the place are those who haven't lived anywhere else. Believe me, are much better places to be.
I'm amazed at the positive things I read here. Believe me the only people who like Birmingham are those who have never lived anywhere else and consequently don't know any better. It takes forever to get anywhere because of the congestion, and poor public transport, most of it is ugly in the extreme, and everyone moans constantly. Unless you are utterly mainstream, it's just plain dull.
My beautiful DMR hardtail getting stolen - theiving chavs!!!
i have to disagree with kingstanding being one of the nicer areas in birmingham, i should know, i live there
the slowly tightening grip of the cheese extreme that rules the Broad Street night life - lets hope it shoots itself in the foot and peeps start to drift away from the flock in search of fresher, hipper beats!
The modern Christmas tree outside St Martins Church (in the Bull Ring). A traditional tree would have been more appropriate
Plastic Paddy Pubs, Corporate Pubs. Deafening bands with little or no talent and deaf soundmen. The Jam House - load of bollocks prices run by conmen - Jools should be ashamed! Look what they did to Ronnie Scotts!
Being from a place where your accent is constantly being mistaken for the black country accent (its a completly differrent dialect and place, arghhh) and people who think that Manchester is the 2nd city when its bloody well not!!!
too much violence, street robbery, and smackheads.
Kevins and sharons!!!!!
er....Trans?
Dont worry about there being a selfridges in the Bull Ring Centre - there is gonna be a Bear Factory store there - definately a good shop to go to for everyone!
The homeless people on Broad Street
Overcrowding, congestion and too much concrete
Hip Hop, d&b, alternative scene isn't that good - it's all about Broad Street. Homeless people - it seems to me loads of them have better trainers than me and are just plain rude if you don't have any money to give them!
New Street Station and the Palasades.
birmingham lives in the shadow of london too much, but shouldn't! it may be our second city in size but difinetly not in heart!!!
The problem is someones bound to get shot up at the bloody ice rink my brother nearly did.
there seems to be a good amount of style-conscious people in birmingham but having said that, there are (young) people who expect to be taken seriously whilst wearing their adidas poppers tucked into their nike socks and sporting flourescent orange trainers. (all i have to say about them is 'no'. no no no no no no no.) despite the fact that theres a lot of inter-racial and inter-faith tolerance and acceptance in birmingham, there is some amount of discrimination, although not just racism - but the culprits are the ones who wear their tracksuit trousers tucked into their socks, so you've got to ask yourself whether or not they can help themselves, really......
the victorian terraces, burberry cap sporting fools, woodsurfing wankers, goths and freaks( their parents hate them and they blame everyone else), the oasis market, plankriders, skateboarders, jitters, er anythin else to call this fraternity?? oh yeah, tossers. i think thats it. and that man (you know who you are, lakvir of halesowen college) who cracked one off on the number 9 bus in broad daylight, then unloaded in his bag. dirty bastard.
THE WANABES FROM SOLIHULL THINKIN THERE GOOD WEN THERE NOT! AND LOOKIN AT THE REAL SKATERS LIKE THERE NOTHIN WEN WE REALLY ARE.
pigs
The rubbish that constantly litters the streets, other places
Birmingham is the worst City you can ever dream of living in. I was born in Birmingham and have spent years trying to shake of the misery of Brummiedom. Fights, lads, slappers, concrete, abuse, sexism, racism - need I go on?
Far too many aggressive beggars who are blatantly not homeless and are all mashed off their tits and out looking for cash for their next bag of smack, dodgy geezers in hoods hanging around at night, The Rotunda - it's just goddamn ugly, Travel West Midlands... "bus every 6 minutes" (or more like, "4 buses within 3 minutes, once an hour") - totally unreliable and totally bollocks, too many identically-clothed (Rockport & Kickers) Shazza and Kev gangs (fuck off you no-hopers), the city centre is always being dug up for some unknown reason, people smoking on buses (despite the large "�500 fine" signs, which TWM never enforce), high likelihood of robbery at night in some areas (be very careful and always stay aware of who is around you!)
too many OSP's telling you to be quiet!
bham's known for pocket pickin and druggies and rcism but realy if you keep youre self to youre self its not realy that bad!
where do i start. Theres no country side, everywhere u look u see tarmac and metal. The people are ignorant and no one ever says thanku 2 the bus driver, which really annoys me. Sutton area is full of psychos and people openingly smoke weed on the bus - which then makes the driver get high.Need i say more.
Beggars. If you're shopping, watch your handbags (girls) and wallets (guys).
Kevs and shazzas (townies), crap local radio, kevs, busses are always late, shazzas, broad street (if u like alt music) did i mention the kevs?
it's a big grey concrete mess not pretty, the high street shops like o neill and virgin are expensive
Our terrible spelling.
Birmingham is very dirty, especially Bordesley Green, where I work. Think before you drop litter!
modernisation redevelopment of city not complete till at least 2006 utter chaos street closures etc.
Nothing, birmingham's brilliant, OK maybe too many cars
Kevs! Pack them all up and send them back to Slutton Coldfield where they spawned from. In fact, the whole of Slutton seems like a giant conspiracy at times to undermine Birmingham's healthy anti-Kev attitude. Incidentally, anyone from down around Hodge Hill and Ward End keep your eye on Star City...the Kev Migration seems to be moving in that direction... Anti-Sk8ing-Coppers who confisk8 your board!!!
the chewing gum on the pavement. Street beggars wearing brand new nikes! (???)
it's a pig ugly place
Its lack of individuality sometimes annoys me. Broad Street could be great, but its been bitten by the Chain Pub & Restaurant Bug. I want unique places!! Manchester and London do it - why not Brum!
Traffic jams on the M6!!! They put LA to shame.
Aston V#��@!!!! Apologies to all who have the misfortune to visit the collection of sheds called V#��@ Park, if the council was full of bluenoses the place would be turned into housing.
The annoying Ben Sherman/Hackett/Rockport shirted scum yes you!
Pubs stop serving at 22:50 at the weekend??? But that is England all over The crappy public transport system
The TERRIBLE, DISGUSTING, and downright FRIGHTENING mess of roads and subways and dereliction that is the Bull Ring. The area around the Arcadian, with the gay village and Chinatown, is great but the roads and subways and ramps in between that area and the city square are horrible. Really scary. No thought to pedestrians at all.
People are a bit too "uptight" and need to lighten up, lay back , an' feel them warm rays of heaven on them pasty faces. Maybe have a little glass o' somethin' an' smile a little.,....yooo know whut aah mean!!!!
People who have this Solihull mentality whereby they they keep diassociating Handsworth from Handsworth Wood - both together (I've lived in both) are far more scenic/exciting/historically valuable than some other areas of the city I won't embarrass by naming!! If you're still not convinced, try this - THERE'S NO MORNING RUSH HOUR!!! (We Northsiders spend far less of our ives sitting in our cars / on buses)
The street cleaner at the library. Looks like an elf. Calls you a cunt when you don't do a single thing. Deliberately trashes your bag by pouring water over it. Also very paranoid, he believes that there is a camera hidden in a security light (there is definitely not)
TWM, total rip off of a bus company.
Perry Barr. Its bad. Its worse than bad. Its fucking awful.
Sutton snobs and the University district - well run down.
architecture. neglect of some areas (Digbeth in town has mucho potential town planners). having to listen to prats from completely inferior towns whitter on about crappy brum, when they haven't been there, or never explored when they were.
The buses, operated by Travel West Midlands, which are cack. They don't give change which is as primitive in the sphere of public transport as it is possible to get, and a constant source of annoyance.
Living, or hanging out anywhere near Bournville - the place has no pubs at all due to it being built by the Quaker family that owned Cadburys.
The subways and underpasses. Some are very frightening to walk through alone. Thankfully Birmingham is being 'redesigned' at the moment and it is improving by the day.
The nightlife. It's a bit dead really.
The worst thing? Most of the suburbs. Whilst the City has spent a lot of money and effort into redesigning the Centre for the post-industrial age, most routes out of the city are scattered with dilapidated ex-factories and buildings; some of the residential areas (such as Handsworth or Handsworth Wood) are frightening to be in at night.
Moronic southerners who think Birmingham's a northern shitehole somewhere near Manchester. Wrong - it's a midlands semi-paradise with trees somewhere near Stratford.
Villa fans.
Wost thing about Brum: some of the office blocks are SO gross. Bring 'em down. Good news is that next year the Bull Ring will be bulldozed and replaced by a 300 million development which will boast the only branch of Selfridges outside London. The accent is a pain in the arse, and makes even the most intelligent person sound as thick as shit.
Brum hasn't had a medium sized music venue since the Hummingbird closed down 5 years ago, forcing bands to play in Wolverhampton or Leicester. This seriously hampers local talent (no, not bloody Ocean Colour Scene)and Brum is crying out for a "scene" of some description PLEASE!! The suburbs need some urgent cosmetic attention too and local transport could do with an overhaul s!
Traffic Wardens
The young fisher lads obsession with their fast cars is brain numbing. A quality night out for them consists of driving your fast car round and round the town centre, climaxing in pulling in next to some other young things in their cars in the Balmoor Cemetery carpark. And you can bet they're not there to place flowers on poor old Granny's grave.
Accent, traffic, no one knowing where B'ham is.
Can be a bit scary at night, especially for people from out of town.
lycra clad no hopers
Man U Fans, Blues Fans.
Seriously deranged people appearing on a regular basis, care in the community in action in Birmingham obviously.
The accent.
Private Hire drivers - mostly 'Care in the community' releasees from All Saint's Hospital.
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