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mapoeggplant · 10 months

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skip to loafer chapter 53 // spoilers

the analogy of between a crab and falling in love: what’s hidding in between all the sand that shima hides himself in?

this chapter kinda encapsulates a lot of unresolved plots and bring back things that were discussed before, as a way to, little by little, start to close shima’s arc on understanding his feelings. and, for my happiness (and for a lot of you guys reading me, i supposed), we finally had a confirmation that shima doesn’t quite understand or can’t even separate his feelings inside him, all because of his history with rejection, broken family, and the coldness of the ones around him. the boy, who tries to grasp his sandy feelings, who stubbornly kept slipping between his fingers, is finally dipping his toes in the ocean.

what mukai and shima discussed at the sauna is very important for a lot of things. not only for the present narrative, but for a context in general about how skip to loafer deals with feelings and love. instead of approaching a safe solution and going for the “she was the one who could save him”, takamatsu-senpai chose to go through the more complicated and bumpier road: she started to make her own characters question the idea of romantic love that was shoved down their (and ours) throat since they were born.

is not that shima doesn’t love mitsumi — he just doesn’t understand the concept of romantic feelings or how everything “ends” with it (it was interesting to me how he said “ends”, the never-ending idea that romantic love is the final goal. it never “starts anything; it’s always “the end” of things). for him, everything falls in the same blurry and messed up category and end as easily as it started. however now, after years and years of being shutten down and used for people’s own selfish desires, shima is finally free to think and act for himself. but we don’t learn to swim at the bottom of the ocean: we need to start at the beach.

mukai telling shima that he’s often shutting people down and pushing people away without noticing was there for two main reasons, in my opinion: one, show a little more about mukai himself and his own feelings in relation to shima, a friend that he holds dear and wants to see opening up a little more, warming himself towards others; and two, to make shima start to question “what am i doing to the people that care about me?”. this is a trigger that sensei used to bring back a lot of important moments between shima and mitsumi and connect the dots inside his head. what i didn’t expect was that she would such beautiful analogy: a crab.

by swimming around their past, shima starts to ask himself: how does mitsumi feels about me. it’s funny how, even after all that conversation with mukai, he didn’t start with the obvious and questioned himself. he was thinking about her — about the other. what brough him back to his own heart was the girl herself, without both even realizing it.

grabbing the crab in the middle of it is the safest option. you’re protecting yourself of a possibility of being hurt and are able to maintain a safe distance from all the dangerous attributes of the crab. by always staying in the middle of his own feelings and never really going for the claws of his own mind, shima maintained his safety and “never got hurt” (and here i strictly mean hurt by his own ghosts, who he tried to deny instead of facing it). i mean, if he doesn’t move, they won’t be able to attack him. if he stays protected, there won’t be a necessity of changing what you know so well.

but…there’s always a first time, right? and i don’t mean this only for the act of holding a crab: this might be shima’s not only first time doing so, but also the first time he ever felt something different for someone — something more. something he never met before.

and mitsumi, on the other hand, appear serene on his eyes. she did have her first time already — and was bitten by the crab. she was the one who put herself out there and risked being hurt. and, unfortunately, he was the one who made this happen.

by shima’s reaction (the full-on blush), it’s easy to interpretate that he had some kind of realization and that…well...yeah it involves the crab. and mukai. and mitsumi. and the beach. and the ocean. and the sand, that he could never grasp before. what did he realize? he himself isn’t sure, as he tells mukai (“how was the crab?” “i don’t know). and, well, how can someone who has never seen a crab be so sure that what they are seeing is, in fact, a crab?

sensei made it clear, with all the words, with mukai being a sensei for a day: shima is, for the first time in his life, having to deal with a feeling that’s completely new and scary for him. romantic love isn’t easy. for a kid who grew watching his own understanding of romantic love (his parents) be so broken and twisted, romantic love is something that can only cause harm. so no, it’s not that he doesn’t understand love per se: he just doesn’t know how to approach it within himself. it’s up to him, now, if he's going to sing his hands in the sand and find the answer for all the questions he’s dealing with.

as for my last words, what i want to remind everyone: no, it won’t be resolved so fast. not next chapter and, maybe, nor the next. i mean, why should it be? love, be it platonic or not, isn’t something to be forced out of someone. it’s something that requires more than a simple “yes or no”, something that doesn’t grow overnight. none of them are wrong. mitsumi never imposed something on him, she only did what her heart told her to do. shima never wanted to hurt her in some way — in fact, this is one of his biggest fears, up to now. they both are trying to understand themselves, the world, and the universe. they are in the apices of their teenage years, in the apices of committing mistakes for dumb reasons and for sealing peace with simplicity. they all have lot of different crabs with lot of different meanings hiding inside their particular beaches. it’s up to them if they are going to start digging it or not.

and, as always, thank you thank you so much for reading what i have to say and my crazy rambling. i hope that we can now start a great discussion about it 💛 oh and people!! don't be afraid of talking to your crab — sometimes they know more bout us than ourselves 🦀

🌻 this analyze was originally posted on my twitter

#skip to loafer #skip and loafer #skip to loafer chapter 53 #this analyze feels like all my other analyzed compacted in one iofjasifja #i will never stop studying these kids #specially shima #shima I love you sm #as your mother I'm very proud #duckmetas

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twinstxrs · 3 months

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in light of recent canon academic conversations, riz adaine gorgug study sessions have never been more real to me. gorgug helps riz + adaine get out of their own heads when they’re overworking themselves, riz + adaine help gorgug with alternative studying methods because he learns best through visuals + experience. fabian’s there occasionally when he has a particularly difficult assignment/test but he makes them all swear never to speak of it in order to protect his “image.” kristen has shown up exactly twice: once for advice on a group project that was two months overdue & once to just lay on the floor and relax for an hour before leaving. fig didn’t know the study sessions were happening until sophomore year & now keeps getting monthly bans because every time she shows up she ends up accidentally distracting riz + adaine. also, sometimes after/in the middle of really long study sessions riz adaine & gorgug go to basrar’s together to unwind but fabian kristen & fig Are Not Invited (they do still text to ask if anyone wants something brought back from basrar’s. they’re not heartless, after all).

#anyways that’s the post. study trio u r real in my heart #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #gorgug thistlespring #adaine abernant #riz gukgak #fabian seacaster #kristen applebees #fig faeth #the bad kids #riz adaine gorgug trio who actually care about academics u r so dear to me. only bad kids who regularly do homework #adaine & riz both ‘ditch’ but adaine asks for her coursework beforehand + riz is usually getting rogue extra credit for sneaking out #gorgug has never ditched school in his life except for Urgent World Saving. he was doing his hw on the sig figs tour bus <3 #i’m convinced fabian also cares to a degree but not enough to genuinely try hard. except out of spite. hence the study session visits #fabian both regularly cheats on homework & thinks getting a hard assignment & not doing well is ‘losing’#kristen has probs had a gradual academic falloff through high school due to just the amount of stuff that happened in her life.#like who has the mental energy to care about school when Literally Everything Else was going on… me too kristen me too #i think middle school fig didn’t care about school but still showed up + tried but immediately stopped giving a shit once her horns came in #& so here we are… anyways bad kids i love you

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kedicatt-cotl · 8 months

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I can't remember if it was stated, or if you already answered this. But did the Lamb meet with the ??? Yet?

Did Lamb fight with the Bishops in "Limbo" to free them and resurrect them?

How did the Lamb (or you, if you wish) react to all... That?

Lamb did meet the ???

Lamb did fight the Bishops in the "Limbo".

May the image be an answer to you.

He's happy to resurrect the bishops, but ??? freaks him out like, a ton

#i actually never got that far in the game myself..!!#I stopped playing after i killed narinder #i had to study and all that and whenever i start playing cotl i just go on for the whole day without stopping #so there's that #yeahh #THIS IS THE FINAL ASK IN MY ASK BOX OH GOD #cotl #baabaa kids ask #cult of the baabaa kids #cotl au #cotl ???#cotl lamb #cotl art

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brittlebutch · 11 months

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honestly Adaine is so good at clarifying/directing Ayda socially that it begins to circle back to a dynamic of like, Ayda saying "i don't know or understand these rules" and Adaine responding "have no fear, I've been carefully studying and manually interfacing with these for years, I will explain:" in a way that to me is so autism4autism

#N posts stuff #like Ayda feels like someone who has spent most of her life alone / with adults and so lacks any context at all for socializing with Peers #she's good at Information (bc she's a librarian) and communicating Facts (bc likely most of her socializing has been helping #with research in one way or another on Leviathan) BUT she struggles a lot more with like #friendly gossip and flirting and boundaries <- because she's never interfaced much with people her own age so it's like being lost at sea #BUT Adaine to me at a certain point Stops reading to me as 'Neurotypical who intuits the rules and is just good at explaining them'#and becomes 'autistic with a special interest in social rules/dynamics' and it's less 'i grew up speaking this language natively'#and WAY MORE 'i've been studying this language intentionally for many years so I can help clarify and give you advice'#and i Love That for them I love when they're talking in Hellbound and Adaine is like 'oh lovely! do you have notes on this social phenom?'#because she's 100% canonically the autistic person who is taking notes on social cues (outright in Daddies&Demons) and is like #'Excellent. Surely with these I am going to get a good grade in Social Conversation.'#Autism win! You and the Librarian on a pirate ship have become Best Friends who think each other are SO cool and lovely and kind <3 #d20lb #fhsy #d20: bad kids

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shadowedvales · 15 days

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so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#THINKING THOUGHTS. i have had this concept in mind for a while but i THINK i’ve fleshed it out properly now.#will write this up properly one day (never).#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon #he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was #and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her #regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and #mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following #the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have #killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and #was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3 #idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.

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luvring · 3 months

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just complained about my group to my irls and i'm pretty sure this has genuinely motivated me to speak in class because i Cannot let my prof think my critical thinking abilities are the same as theirs

#💬nia.rambles #rant fr//#guys im srsly sick thinking about it #LIKE THERE WERE SO MANY MOMENTS WHERE I WAS JUST ??#'im not saying to beat your kid black and blue but discipline is different across cultures and #i just dont think this should be an area of exploration like its worked for hundreds of years'#? YOU AS A WOMAN OF COLOUR HAVE NEVER HEARD OF INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA?#like why are you implying you dont like gentle parenting why are you making a strawman DONT PISS ME OFF #then white guy speaking way too loud to my right is throwing in words he DOESNT understand and saying the same things over and over #'from a Sociological Contemporary perspective' be serious. 'it comes back to nature vs nurture again' Can you Stop Tlalkingplapewmj #and i bring up gender and he goes smth smth gender is just such a sensitive topic then the 2 other girls Agree #and they wouldnt let me talk and even if i did they obviously wouldnt know what i was talking about #because why are you asking what post structuralism is THAT WAS A MAIN TOPIC AND DEFINITION OF LAST CLASS??? 😭😭#they wouldnt answer the question properly and repeat the same basic vaguely connected ideas the Entire time #like do i look like i gaf abt different body standards/expectations for football players MOVE ON ITS BEEN 10 MINUTES #like i want to talk about enforced binaries in queer spaces and Oh my god i just remembered #they were like. lgbt studies/discussion is just so recent and i was like. Its literally discussed In the reading. but None of u finished it #OHH IM PISSED OFF. IM SO PISSED OFF #and im so mad bc the discussion q's were Good and if i was w my irls wed have such a good convo but NO!!!!#whatever. Whatever im going to start raising my hand in class im so fr i got lightheaded complaining about this IMSOMADBSJF

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maddy-ferguson · 15 days

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"Quick test tho, replace girlfriend with boyfriend and see if ur still bothered by it." me when i'm 7 and have yet to realize that men and women have a very different place in the social hierarchy because we live in a society

#joke 7-year-olds have already realized this because they're smarter than the person i'm quoting #and because they're boys and girls themselves and are treated differently based on that from the moment they're born lmao #i was reading a book the other day (last month) where boys were already doing the weaponized incompetence thing and girls already cleaned #up after them automatically without being asked BEFORE THE AGE OF 5 like it's bad for us (it was like a sociological study)#and literally the weaponized incompetence thing makes sense it's normal/smart to try to get out of doing something you don't wanna do like #chores and stuff but it's the fact that girls internalize that they have to be the ones who stop doing what they're doing to clean up after #boys/men AS CHILDREN and then keep doing that for the rest of their lives. i'll kill myself #i was raised with just my sister and my mom and my sister is the man of the house in the sense that i'll ask her to do things a certain #way a thousand times because it's better for everyone and she'll always be like yeah you're right and then never do it. and i'm always like #if i actually had to go through that with a partner...and with male partners statistically i probably would #when women make posts like oh look what my boyfriend/husband bought vs what i asked for haha he's so silly...KILL HIM #anyway. my point was you internalize it early enough to realize some of it is off as a kid. so why would you say there's nothing wrong with #saying something about women if the same thing being said about men doesn't offend you #like are you stupid #and like i say: brf slt

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gay-caveman · 10 months

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"What's wrong with me isn't going to go away after graduation." OUCHHHHHH

#lawrusso #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #daniel x johnny #karate kid #menocchio #signal studies #noise breaking #i love this fanfic so much ive reread it so many times #it never stops hurting #the last chapter left a gaping empty whole in my heart #screams and rips out hair in fistfuls

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pussy-ache · 8 months

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thinking about how my sister just got engaged at 27 to her first boyfriend ever and i just don’t have a good feeling about it

#i mean i’m not talking to her right now lmao. i did not even say congrats #but i’m still her older sister and i don’t believe she really has experienced enough of the world and of love itself to be tied down #at least in that way — technically speaking she’s already ‘’tied down’’ being in a long term committed relationship #but like. i know she thinks my mom had us when she was ‘’too old’’#my mom had me at 35 and my sister at 38 #my sister criticizes my mother for that and has made comments throughout the years about how her friends mothers are all so much younger #meanwhile my mother lived an EXPANSIVE life in hers 20s and early 30s #she went out outward bound trips with hippy dippy granola eating fucks and camped out for months on end #she jumped out of planes and paraglided and rode motorcycles #she was a huge pothead and spent so much time at the beach studying tide pools and looking for horseshoe crabs #she even metal detected after storms to see if she could find unique lost beautiful jewelery and other items that were lost at sea #she was a PERSON and without those experiences would NOT have been our mother #i’ve explained this to my sister dozens of times over — your opinion of our moms age is based upon you not seeing her as a PERSON w/ a LIFE #and she does not care. she still believes my mom was ‘’too old’’ which is a ridiculous argument because having kids in your 30s is NOT. OLD #like even outside of my opinion of our moms life. my sister is literally just wrong across the board because 30s is NORMAL #she frustrates me to no end because our ‘’differences of opinion’’ are actually REALLY big differences like. stop dehumanizing our mom….?#so truly. honestly. this is just a big push to ‘’not end up like’’ our mom so she’s getting married earlier and will have kids earlier #now in my own right i don’t want to ‘’end up like’’ my mom either — ie in a marriage that is unfulfilling with a man who bosses her around #but the difference between her opinion of ‘’not ending up’’ like her is she blame MOM for everything #meanwhile in MY example i blame my father for being a piece of shit to our mother and vowed i would never be in that situation myself period #but that’s not putting blame on my mother. that’s me seeing my mother as a VICTIM of injustice and misogyny #meanwhile my sister just sees my moms decisions as a ‘’problem’’ to be ‘’fixed’’#meanwhile i am consistently reminding myself that while my mother loves her children very much…#she inherently had to LOSE herself in order to have us and fashion a new version of herself - the ‘’mom’’ version to replace her real self #my sister doesn’t care to talk to our mom about the intricacies that come with all of this. i do. quite often actually.#my moms rule was that she was not getting married before 30. period.#the first thing i said when my mom told me my sister was engaged was #‘’i don’t even believe someone should get married period. but especially not before 30’’#she agreed. because she TAUGHT us that! she TAUGHT us the importance of finding yourself before anything else #but my sister in her race to ‘’not be like’’ our mom is missing out on turning into a wonderful person for it?

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angelsdean · 2 years

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‘WAY underage’....first time drunk....then that one john journal entry implying dean was drinking and doing drugs at age 13.....HOW old then was dean at that cbgb concert.....god.

#no like i can't stop thinking abt this #like ok lets be generous and say dean was drinking at 13 but never got DRUNK drunk #bc like. when could he afford to not be in control right?? like whenever john was gone sammy was his number one priority #also don't think he'd be wasting money on alcohol so it was probs like. sneaking sips from beer cans john left around #nothing really serious and the drugs well. he could've been experimenting with kids at school #again i really really don't think he'd be wasting money buying drugs but if he happened to be offered them? sure why not #so like. say cbgb happened some time after age 13 but before he started looking old enough to go into clubs at like 16/17 #he was probs like 14/15 when that happened and i just.....god god god #dean studies

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ear-motif · 1 year

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intelligence is so bizarre as a concept. like its “how well do you know arbitrary facts” or “how well can you remember things” or “how well do you function in social situations” depending on who you talk to. but clinically its all of those things and more. a lot of “intelligence” is just skill. but how do you practice?

#i stopped typing bc i stopped making sense #but im used to being the ‘dumb’ person in the group #going from ‘smart’ kid to ‘dumb’ adult bc my adhd got significantly worse #or bc i now had control over my own schedule and couldnt handle it idk #but despite studying and knowing stuff im still ‘dumb’ because executive function and organization are parts of intelligence #i am simply too dumb for some people #some people cannot tolerate my lack of organization and executive function #and it will always hurt when people i like or even love leave because of that #understandably bc after a certain point it becomes toxic #i worry that ill never find someone who loves all of me because of these deficits #and i know im luckier than many other people in many areas but i wonder #delete later? its personal but i might craft this into an actual thought later

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crossbackpoke-check · 2 years

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Hi! Against your tags as always are delightful!! The fun thought of the Dylan au pair idea with the usntdp boys +Mo and razor are that Mo actually hung out with zebras at the combine I think when he needed friends and didn’t know folk! So it would actually sorta work! It’s a hilarious and wonderful concept!

first of all 🥺🥰😭💕 you’re so nice and second of all OH MY GOD BELOVED ANON hold on,,, getty images don’t fail me now i can’t believe mo & z hung out at the combine i’m going batshit bazonkers i can’t even-

okay update somehow i straight up forgot jack hughes was in this draft year & while i couldn’t find any pictures i do know that mo was super beloved (funny, personable, charming) at the combine, which is super interesting to think about with trevor “fawn response” zegras and i want to put them both in a little glass jar (a lakehouse fic) and shake them up and study them (write unnecessary side interactions in a fic that’s objectively about neither of them)

#ok ok ok i know what i said but the other part of this is that i was at work today & full lightbulb moment out of NOWHERE went #dylan outsider pov of the kids trying to match make him with everyone they set him up with the dnr guy & the hot lake neighbor & the dilf #but it turns out he’s already dating someone (zach??) &i mean. this is the perfect little magnifying glass w/which to study mo/z interaction #NO ❌ WRITE ✍️😤 ONLY!! vivid daydreaming 🤧 have never felt the weight of being roasted by my horoscope so hard #liv in the replies #I’VE NEVER FELT NORMAL ONCE I HAD THIS POSF AND THE OTHER POST IN MY DRAFTS THEN S A W LARKS BEING BABYSITTERLY @ PETRY’S W/COLE #is this manifesting? is that allowed? can i return it &ask for something else? although cole is charming me gradually (it’s nick i love him)#@universe that sign can’t stop me idk how to READ (by which i mean write. or garner fortitude to follow through and/or execute a fic idea)#distilling the essence of Someone down to who they would be when they were ten years old isn’t gonna cause any instances of self-realization #i’m absolutely not having any kind of moment thinking about characteristics to keep for the younger versions of them & what their ‘base’ is #part of the appeal of de-aged fic (not in this context but in like actual ones lol) being that it’s triggered by a stressor/trauma & the #point is that they’re reverting to a version of themself that’s telling them something they need to know a lesson in who they are/their need #for a love/understanding/feeling yourself smaller in a way like you did back then to the point that it manifests physically #but flipping that in a way ig bc this is them (younger in fic) but not De-Aged (that’s not the point here) it’s just coincidentally a vessel #to imagine the interactions of mo/z as de-aged ten year olds as a proxy for their vulnerability at the combine & that one d/z couch poem—#OKAY that’s how i know it’s time to go to bed that’s a. completely different train we are not hopping on right now GOOD NIGHT #i’m so. i’m so. ????????????????????????????? babe ur kids leave for one summer & you’re having empty nest syndrome

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shadowedvales · 5 months

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So… in the additional media of Stranger Things (specifically the comics I’m mentioning), it was initially Brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as Eleven was. It was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. And I just…. sure Henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but I think I am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

I genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and Brenner is far more intriguing than the show. Everything with 9/9.5, Ricky, and Francine. Eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. Those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. Eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. And they all had such a range of interesting powers. I firmly stand with the idea that Jane is the only one who can contact The Void.

Brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out Terry was pregnant. He discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. There would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. Because of this, I would not put it past a man like Brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” aka Eleven. Eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. Brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

Back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because Jane was 011. So there were at least ten kids before her. But I always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. That they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. With flying colours.

I just think the whole Rainbow Room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. Boring and predictable. I think at this point my portrayal of her time in Hawkins Lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. Where having the Rainbow Room, although Eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. Albeit extremely warped and toxic. Knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. Doesn’t sit well with me. I think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. Which is why Kali is also so important to her growth. I thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. Although Peter becoming Vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

Maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, Peter Ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. But before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. Peter is shot on the spot, and Eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. In this timeline, Henry would be Vecna, but Henry would not be Peter Ballad.

When Eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, Brenner had the eight children killed. Kali had already escaped. This was the main cause for Peter to gain Eleven’s trust and try to get her out. Because if Brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way Eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

When Eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with Peter. Brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a Peter, that she must have been dreaming. Eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given Peter told her of the day Terry broke in the lab, but Brenner is convincing enough to make Eleven believe it was all in her head. Say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

I still do wanna keep the Henry Creel canon, and keep him as 001. Brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. Brenner definitely wants to be able to control Henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. Killing him would be too big of a loss.

When Eleven is ten years old, Henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto Hawkins Lab. He almost kills Brenner by snapping his bones, but Eleven manages to stop him. Her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends Henry to the Upside Down. She does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. Brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat Henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. Eleven is rewarded for her efforts. Although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

Brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. Also loved the idea of Brenner sending her into The Void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

By the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the Upside Down is basically what we see in canon. Because she passed out the moment after she sent Henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. For two years she believed this, until making contact with the Demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

Due to her saving Brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. She happened to be there. Saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) Brenner constantly thanks her. But in a very condescending way. Tells her: “you saved me so I can continue saving you.” Aka, harness your abilities and see what else I can achieve from you. Despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. That she owes him something further.

I don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. Her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. Surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. Her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with Henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. It makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

It also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. They would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. As far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. Everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with Benny, I'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. Where she followed the boys home without thought.

Also it's important to note that after time, Jane does understand that Peter Ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from Terry) who wanted the best for her. When she remembers him, knows that Brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. He was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. This is another catalyst as to why after season two, Jane never refers to Brenner as papa. She does not give him that sort of credit.

#study.#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon #he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was #and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her #regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and #mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following #the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have #killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and #was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3 #idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.

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thisisnotjaeu · 2 years

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An AU where Jaehwang Chu and Sehyun Kim are childhood besties except the twist is that, neither of them knew each other's names cause they never bothered asking and they only meet each other im the playground cause they go to different schools

How they find out...

Imagine Jaehwang bullying Sehyun but then he realized something when Sehyun, who is crying, looked familiar: Holy shit man, it's you! How ya been buddy?

Sehyun wondering what is this new kind of torture and when Jaehwang he needs to be somewhere, he just happily says goodbye and walks away

Jaehwang wonders why Sehyun looked so damn familiar and always stares at him. Except he glares by doing so and Sehyun, knowing is reputation, is crying on the inside

But when Jaehwang finally remembers, he tries to see Sehyun does the same, except Sehyun's fear overrides his brain and just begs for mercy. Jaehwang getting angry and kicks him on the shin, a bit too harshly and angrily stomps away. Then he tries again the next the day, same result, kicked him again and leave. Rinse and repeat XD

Jaehwang bullies Sehyun horribly because he is bitter at how Sehyun left him constantly hanging on the playground and the fact Sehyun doesn't remember makes it worst

Sehyun is the one who remembers but not Jaehwang-

#study group #jaehwang chu #sehyun kim #i saw baby jaehwang and im like #hanwool you ruined a perfectly normal kid #now he got anger issues and anxiety #waiiiittt i got angst idea #imagine during the fight of sehyuns parents #sehyun wasnt able to leave the house thus jaehwang was left waiting in the playground #because he never showed up #by the time sehyun showed up #jaehwang stopped waiting and left the playground all together #jaehwangs father saw hiw depressed his son got decided to get him a playmate and thats how he met hanwool #°-°

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sscarletvenus · 6 months

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i do not pity israel. never have, and never will.

each night that gaza experiences is deadlier than the last, as idf soldiers record propaganda tiktoks, make rave parties and grwms and fit checks, gloat over having food and water, and film themselves deriving sadistic pleasure from torturing their hostages and victims and desecrating the dead.

Palestinians have to display their martyred before the camera for you to believe the atrocities that the zionist entity has subjected them to. they cannot even mourn in private. the apartheid entity murders them in cold blood, and you deliver the killing blow by doubting them.

babies whose families have been killed will never get to know their own name.

i can't reshare a tenth of the videos and photos that cross my timeline. i have seen more dead children in the past month than i have known death my entire life.

israeli settlers burn olive trees, bomb bakeries and fishing boats, shower white phosphorus and earthquake bombs on the captive civilians of gaza. you already know about the disastrous effects of white phosphorus, but earthquake bombs were last used during ww2 to wipe out entire cities.

how holy is the land that seeks to be built over the mass graves of thousands of children? is it holier than the miracle of a child being born in this hypocritical world?

all 11 universities in gaza have been bombed. academics should be agitating right now, especially those who call themselves "decolonial thinkers." destruction of universities is a sinisterly deliberate act to sabotage the Palestinians who will survive this great catastrophe.

the act of cleansing your hands before prayer is extremely important to muslims. no part of us can remotely comprehend the grief of the mother who refused to wash her hands from the blood of her children after losing them in a zionist airstrike over gaza. "I swear I won't wash them, I won't wash my hands, how else am I supposed to sleep near my kids."

it is only both moral and right when one side defends itself. the other side are the price of war, no better than insects and cattle and sheep left to die within the four walls of the slaughterhouse.

this situation should not be up for debate, but let me finish with one final thing : do your research about Palestine. HOWEVER. you do not need a degree in middle east studies to object to an ongoing genocide. if someone outwits you in a debate about historical details and every nuance of a subject, you were and will remain entirely correct in objecting to a genocide.

may those martyred rest in peace and be reunited again with their loved ones in heaven's eternal vastness.

DO NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT PALESTINE.

glory to Palestinian resistance. from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

#free palestine #palestine #gaza #free gaza #gaza under attack #gaza genocide #genocide #decolonisation #gaza strip #from the river to the sea palestine will be free

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