#i wrote this pretty quickly so its not gonna be great but whatver

[sentientsky]

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” Nina asked. “The poor guy probably just wants his space.” 

The other woman turned to look at her from up on the staircase. Maggie pushed a lock of blonde hair back behind her ear. “I mean,” she began, one foot positioned on the next step up. “We already have this.” She raised a travel cup of espresso in the air. “And after all, I think he could use some cheering up. It’s been like two months, right?” 

Maggie sighed resignedly and followed her up the stairs. “Okay, if you say so…”

They walked for a couple moments before coming to a stop in front of an apartment. All the other doors on the floor were painted a pleasant blue, she noted. This one, however, was a deep, rich black. Of course. 

From underneath the door, the women could hear music, something familiar and with a steady beat. Maggie raised her hand and knocked. 

Still, the music played on. And still no one answered the door. 

“He’s obviously busy, Mags,” Nina muttered. It didn’t escape her notice that the other woman flushed pale pink at the sound of the nickname. Nina’s heart spasmed a bit in response, and she had to force herself to focus. 

“I just—let me try once more, and then—” Maggie knocked again. 

A beat. 

Nina was ready to ask if they could leave when the lock on the door clicked open of its own accord. Well, alrighty then. They exchanged a look, and then Nina pushed open the door. 

Immediately, the onslaught of angsty pop music poured through the threshold. Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” Nina noted. She herself had played the same song more than once as a young adult, often in the throes of a breakup. 

The apartment itself was in complete disarray; papers and knickknacks strewn everywhere. Plants drooped sadly on the edges of the room. In the corner, a pile of CDs had been toppled over. Eccles cakes and half-chewed scones littered the floor. 

There, in the middle of the living room (which certainly looked lived in, Nina noted), Crowley was sat on the floor, legs all akimbo and arms thrown across the seat of a rather uncomfortable looking sofa. 

Maggie stiffened at the sight of him, holding the coffee cup between both hands now. The poor demon was dressed in boxer shorts and an ancient Queen t-shirt. His hair was bedraggled, brushing against his shoulders in loose scarlet waves. Juxtaposed to the devilishly cool “burnt out middle-aged rockstar” persona he embodied most  of the time, this new appearance came across as particularly disheveled. 

Nina hesitated, then took a step forward. The music still thrummed in her ears. “Crowley?” she asked, injecting as much kindness as she could into one little word. 

Head lolling, the demon looked up at the two women before him. For once, he wasn’t wearing his characteristic glasses. Maggie made a little sound of surprise at the sight of the demon’s golden snake eyes. They were a rich yellow—the same colour as Mr. Fell’s walls, Nina silently noted. It seemed Crowley hadn’t slept in a century, (did demons even need to sleep?) his undereyes tinged a pale purple. 

“Crowley?” Nina called out again. Maggie moved to stand beside her, leaning down closer to the demon’s level. 

Without warning, Crowley’s eyes began to flood with tears and he crumpled into himself. Oh. Oh no. They’d made it worse, they’d certainly made it worse. Nina had said that coming here was a bad idea. 

“That’s what Aziraphale used to call me!” he keened. His boxer shorts had ‘XO Gossip Girl’ emblazoned down the side. 

“I mean, that’s your na—” Nina began, but then reconsidered and dropped into a crouch to pat the demon’s shoulder, voice hushed and soothing. “There, there. I know. It’s going to be alright.” 

Maggie crouched beside her, and tried to offer Crowley the drink in her hand. He looked up for a moment, and there was a moment of recognition, his eyes scanning the takeaway cup. And then he burst into fresh tears once again. 

“That’s what I ordered the last—” he made a little hiccuping sound. “Ordered the last time he and I went to your café,” he wailed. The poor thing was inconsolable; Nina’s heart ached for him. In between ragged sobs, Crowley  extended his arm under the couch. There, it seemed, he had found a slightly droopy crepe that was…just shoved under the sofa. No plate, no nothing. Just crepe to floor. What the fuck. Don’t eat it, please don’t eat it, Nina chanted in her head. 

He ate it, of course, still crying. 

Kelly Clarkson finished singing, and the track switched. Now, a more upbeat tune rose through the apartment. 

It’s Britney, bitch. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen you eat anything—” Maggie began, reaching down to pick up a crumpled twinkie wrapper from the floor. And then, without warning, Crowley brought a napkin to his mouth and spat out a congealed mass of saliva and half-chewed dough. He sniffed pathetically and bundled it into a tight ball in his hand before tossing it somewhere across the room.

“Oh…” Maggie murmured, placing the wrapper back where she had found it. “Oh no.” 

Crowley looked up at the two of them with ragged eyes, glinting pale gold in the dim light of his flat. “Don’t even like the taste. But he likes ‘em, so…Who else is gonna eat’em, anyway? While he’s gone, you know? ‘S up to me” He sniffed again, wiping his nose with his sleeve. 

“Are you—” Maggie began, and her worried eyes flickered to Nina. “Are you drunk, Crow—Anthony? Have you been drinking?”

“And wha makes you think that?” he muttered. Nina cast her eyes around the room. Wine bottles littered the floor. The counters. One sat on the pedestal of a statue of an angel and a demon…were they supposed to be fighting, or…?? 

When she turned back to face him, he was drinking out of a curly straw. His cup read ‘MAMA NEEDS SOME WINE’. She sighed, and reached to ease it out of his hand. He pulled it out of her reach immediately, a disgruntled look clear across his face.

“Nooo, Az—Azira—a stupid angel gave this to me,” he all but hissed. “‘S vintage. 2004.”

The track changed again. Something slower, with a steady piano backing. 

My lover’s got humour.

She’s the giggle at a funeral…

At this, tears began to form afresh in the corners of the demon’s eyes. Nina stood up, looking for the source of the music. She’d had her fair share of sad music wallowing, but this was becoming unhealthy, surely. Over in the corner, a fairly recent sound system stood sentinel. She pressed ‘pause’ and ejected the disk. “What’s with this music?” she called across the room. 

In sloping handwriting, the CD read ‘bad bitches cry perpendicular to the floor’. Oookay then. 

“‘S a playlist I made. But everything I play in that godforsaken thing,” he motioned to the stereo system, “eventually turns into music by this one Irish fellow.” 

Nina wrinkled her brow in confusion. 

“Jus’ like the Bentley. But more straightforward, I suppose.” He took another sip from his drink, and the two women watched on as dark red liquid carried up through the loops of the straw.

“This isn’t healthy,” Maggie began. “I know it’s hard, and it’s okay to be sad. But we can try baby steps, right? D’you fancy coming down to the café with us? Maybe sit and talk for a bit? Get some natural light?” 

Crowley scrunched his nose and spat a piece of red hair out of his mouth. “M’ fine, really. Never been better. More independent, less—” he waved his free hand around vaguely, “mmgh…yeah, I got nothin’” He toasted them with his ridiculous white suburban mom cup. 

“You’re crying right now. And how long have you been wearing that shirt?” Nina asked. The thing looked lived in. By a family of possums. 

He looked down, squinting at wine stains that speckled the collar. “This is my best shirt.” He looked back up at them. “And ‘m fiiiine.” He reached one gangly arm across the length of the sofa and pulled out a pair of circular sunglasses. Putting them on, he peered up at Nina and Maggie. “See? Can’t even see the tears.” He smiled, but it looked more like a grimace. 

“Oh, hon. That’s not…” Maggie began.

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” Nina murmured. “Do you…” she looked around the room. Was that one of Mr. Fell’s sweaters hung over a chair? What had happened in that fucking bookshop? “Do you want to talk about it?” she finished. 

Three hours later, Nina realized her assistant’s shift was nearly finished. From what she understood, Mr. Fell had left (his husband? Boyfriend? Wife? Immortal life partner?) Crowley for a business promotion somewhere far away. Crowley, for his part, was perched on the edge of the couch, wrapped up in the angel’s sweater. He sniffled, and pressed on: 

“...And then it was 1967 and I was in my Beatles phase of course, because who wasn’t, honestly. And the bastard shows up in my car out of nowhere with a thermos. So I’m freaking out a little bit—in a very cool, suave kind of way, of course—cause this is one of the first times we’ve seen each other since the magic show,” he turned, looking between Maggie and Nina. “I told you about the magic show, yes?”

“Yes, you did,” Maggie muttered. 

“Several times. The one where he told you to shoot him in the face,” Nina interjected.

“Well,” he waved his hand around. “I didn’t actually shoot him. Scared the fuck outta me, but—oh, I still have the photograph, you wanna see?” He moved to stand up then. 

Maggie motioned for him to sit back down. “That’s alright. We’ll see it later—”

And he was off again, “So anyway it was 1967 and he’s in my car and he’s got a thermos and I’m all like ‘Are we gonna drink soup together? Is that tea? Cocoa?’ but noooo, he gives it to me and it’s fucking holy water. And he tells me he doesn’t want me risking myself. And—” his voice grew louder, more emphatic, “And he says ‘don’t go unscrewing the cap’. And by this point my stomach’s all in wobbly-wibbly fluttery knots and ‘m asking myself ‘what the bloody hell are we’ and I hate it ‘cause I’m a demon, right? And angels aren’t supposed to make you feel all—” he made a ‘pbttt’ sound and mimed a butterfly with his hands. Nina and Maggie exchanged a look. “Yeah. And then he says we should go on a picnic someday. Or to the Ritz or something. I’m losing my mind at this point, because is he asking me on a date? ‘M I out of my gourd? So, like any normal, reasonable person, I say I’ll drive him wherever he wants because then that means more time together which means more time to figure out this fluttery feeling or whatever. And guess what he says.” He looked at the two women seated on chairs in front of him.  “Go on, guess.” 

Maggie shrugged. “Sorry, no idea.” Nina shook her head.

“He says,” he leant forward on the couch. “He says ‘You go too fast for me, Crowley.” The poor demon let out an anguished groan and his head fell into his hands. Maggie reached forward to pat him on the shoulder. 

[It went on like this for some time. They eventually got him to go to the park where he inadvertently began a duck cult; that is, a cult whose members consisted solely of ducks. Not a cult of humans dedicated to worshipping ducks. That would be stupid.]

this silly little crack fic is brought to you by me and my good omens brainrot (neil im in your walls). if u want to read my more serious stuff, you can find me furiously scribbling away in this corner of the internet: x

(side note: this particular story was inspired by a hilarious post from @miss-americanbi)

#i wrote this pretty quickly so its not gonna be great but whatver #i finally remembered to take my adhd meds + instead of doing my work im doing this. i love having hyperfixations sm (<<< lies lies lies) #im love nina shes so pretty and cool #full disclosure this is not to glamourize or make light of depression #this is literally just me transcribing the aftermath of my own messy queer breakup #i also dyed my hair w/ horrible box dye :) that was like 2 yrs ago and it STILL hasnt faded. demipermanent my ass #i was a fucking mess for like a year :) #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziracrow #ineffable lovers #aziraphale #crowley #go2 #ineffable wives #azicrow #maggie good omens #nina good omens #crack fic #ao3 good omens #ao3 author #good omens crack #good omens fanfic #neil gaiman #david tennant #michael sheen #gay #queer #gomens

[wheredidallthedreamersgo]

God damn animals 1

So, I wrote something for animal kingdom. ITS not good at all but ya know whatver I wanted to post it. My writing is shit but I had an idea and went with it. Maybe y'all will like it.

So this'll follow the show with some twists of my own. I love Craig Cody. There aren't enough fics for him or this fandom. I started this a while ago like a year ago I think it's ready to be read by other people.

The oc looks however you want her to. But she's short cause I love tall guys with short women.

Warnings: drugs, cursing. The first part is pretty slow

Craig Cody/oc

-------------------------------

Kyha sat at the counter rolling a joint while Smurf made her smoothie or whatever she was making with the loud ass juicer.

She was Craigs girl and Deran's best friend. Which, is how she met Craig.

She was about five foot three and was the youngest of three. She had two older brothers. David or davey and buddy. Her father was the president of the local Vagos biker gang in Oceanside. Her eldest brother Davey or Tink, was a member of the of the gang as well.

Kyah listening to Baz and Deran go over a few details about the job they were about to pull as she was licking the joint closed. She froze when a disheveled sandy haired teen came in the kitchen. She stared at him confused, no idea who he was.

"Wow, I sure would step over you if I saw you in the gutter. Hope that means you slept well, baby. How about those sheets, huh?" Smurf asked the teen. Kyah frowned and sat up straighter looking over to the small blonde on the other side of the counter for an answer.

" 500-thread count, just tell her you noticed." Baz said as Kyah looked back to the teen who nodded still watching smurf. "Uh Yeah they were great. Thank you." The teen said with a strained smile. Kyah grabbed her lighter off the counter and lit her joint openly staring at the boy.

"Only the best for my boys. By the way, this is Kyah. She's Craig's girl." Smurf said as kyah blew out a couple o rings. The boy turned to her and gave her a strained smile. "I'm j." He said sticking his hands in his pockets. Kyah arched an eyebrow at him still confused as to who he was.

"That's julia's kid." Deran said loudly so he could be heard over the juicer. Kyah looked back at him in surprise, raising her eyebrows. Silently asking if he was serious. It was risky in her mind, to bring a stranger in so close to when they were about to do a job. Deran nodded and rolled his eyes over to smurf then back to her. telling her that it was smurfs idea. He seemed to be as unimpressed with this development as she was, probably more so since he was the baby of the family. She tried to remember if Craig had said anything the night before about J. but it was no use she only remembered the drinking and the girl they had brought back with them.

Kyah looked back to J and gave him a sad smile. he couldn't help that his mom was a junkie and had died when she did. Kyah had the distinct feeling that deran had already made it known his displeasure with the situation. She didn't want to add to the boy feeling even more unwelcomed.

"Hey man great to meet you, sorry about your mom." She said holding her hand out to him. He hesitated before taking a hand out of his pocket and shaking it. "Thanks." He mumbled sticking his hand back in his pocket and looking over to smurf.

Kyah turned and offered the joint to deran who came over and gave her the paper in trade. She unfolded it and held it in front of her face as a ruse to talk to deran. She looked up at the blonde who was leaning against the counter beside her puffing on the joint.

"Is this really happening? Or am I super stoned?" She whispered. Her best friend nodded slowly and exhaled a large cloud of smoke then passed the joint back to her. Kyah shook her head in disbelief and shook the paper out reading the head line.

"Sit down, baby. You must be starving." Smurf said. Kyah set the paper down on the counter and leaned over it as J said. "Uh, could I just start with coffee please? J asked. Kyah looked over at him then to smurf as the woman pointed to he corner of the counter behind her. "Right there in the pot." she said and continued juicing. The pretty brunette went back to reading the paper as she puffed from her joint.

"Hey, what did I say?! What the hell did I say if it woke me up again?! Huh?! " Craig yelled pounding on the top of the cabinets. Kyah looked up and smirked then looked over to smurf who had stopped juicing. She puffed out her cheeks and shot Kyah a look. It was something like she knew she had been caught and didn't want to deal with Craigs raging. Kyah smiled and turned her body, looked over at Deran and Baz with a with a knowing grin that they reciprocated. She laughed when Craig stormed into the kitchen completely naked.

"Just do it already, man." Deran said looking over to his brother before taking a bite out of his muffin. "Yeah, do it already, man, yeah." Baz pitched in sipping his coffee. Kyah leaned her elbow on the counter and grinned checking craig out.

"Yeah?! Yeah? Wh-Where is that hammer?! Where is that hammer?" Craig shouted, snatching the juicer off the counter and whirling around to look for the hammer to destroy the juicer with.

"Can't you just smash it on the floor?" Kyah asked with a smile, holding her chin in her hand. Craig turned glaring at her. "Oh, you don't think I'll do it! No, I'm gonna do it!" He said nodding his head. Kyah nodded her head as well, mocking him. He had threatened to do it so many times before that none of them actually believed him anymore. It was just comical to watch him lose his shit.

"Do it." Baz goaded. Kyah giggled and quickly covered her mouth with her hand as she hunched over the counter kicking her feet back in forth.

Smurf sent them all glares and looked back to Craig trying to get control of the situation. "Do it. You bought it." Smurf said walking over to him. Craig stared at his mother visibly confused but still pretty hyped up. He shook his head and Kyah wasn't sure if he was denying that he bought the juicer which was probably a lie or that he was confused and wasn't sure what Smurf was talking about. Either way, Kyah couldn't control her laughter. She snorted loudly and covered her face with her hands as craig whirled around looking for the hammer.

"No, I didn't!" Craig exclaimed looking down at his mother. Kyah spluttered, smoking her joint and coughing when Smurf shot her a dirty look. "Yeah, actually, you did. You always forget my birthday. I bought it for you and I gave it to me. I wrapped it up really nice and I loved it, baby. I still love it." The blonde said placating Craig. He sighed and nodded athen set the juicer back on the counter. Smurf smiled and patted his chest. "Gimme a kiss." She said. Craig bent a little and smurf kissed his cheek

Kyah started crying with laughter. "nice save. The juicer lives to see another day." she choked out wiping away her tears Dean and Baz started laughing with her and she covered her face with her hands.

"shut up Kyah." Smurf snapped. Kyah sighed still chuckling a little bit. Smurf glared at her as Craig squinted at from his post beside his mother and she bit her lip to keep herself from laughing more.

Will your friend be joining us for breakfast?" smurf asked looking between kyah abd Craig. The pair shared a look and craig grinned. "God, i hope not." Kyah muttered picking the paper up. she went back to the article she was reading and felt eyed on looked around. "what?" she asked raising her eyebrows. she stared at j then looked to Deran and baz.

Baz shook his head and she rolled her eyes. "she wasn't that great." sge saud ast tee judgemental look she received. Craig chuckled abd she looked at him for help. "was she?" she asked her man grinned and shook his head. "i don't think so. she cried halfway through then passed out!" She said "alright enough." baz said. she looked over to him offended. "what do you mean enough? i'm not allowed to critique?" she asked placing her hand over her cheat as she asked. she still here. baz said. rose scoffed and rolled her eyes. and? if she could hold her liquor i wouldn't be bitching right now. rose countered as she turned tl look at him fully. let her habder some dignity. bad said rose blinked abd raised her eyebrows.

by the i always wondered whats Cath like? she asked setting the paper down. Craig sputtered on his coffee amd baz glowered at her. she shrugged innocently as smurfk barked that enough rose she looked at the blonde and shrugged what its just a question i mean unless hea insecure with his abilities there shouldnt be a problem. not everuone is as comfortable with their sex life as you are smurf said rose smirkef amd shruggwd smugly. amd thats a damn shame. rise said getting up to bg some coffee. Craig wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. sge smiled abd rubbed his chest as she looked up at him.

"j you gotta eat something." rose said grabbing an apple off tbd counter abd leaning bavk against Craig. "I'll grab something on the way to school." rose stopped with the apple halfway to her mouth a little shocked that the kid wanted to school the day after his mother had died. she looked over at him slowly then up to craig who was frowning. he raised his eyebrows. and her eyes moved slowly down his body appreciating everything she saw. She shook he "You don't have to go to school. I think they'll understand the reason." She said and bit in to her apple. "Its okay." J said she arched an eyebrow at him. "I mean whatever." She said after swallowing her b bite. "Let him alone." Smurf said glaring at her. She sure did love that look it was like the tenth time that morning. Rose just shrugged and focused on finishing her apple. She tuned everyone else out and fell into her own thoughts.

"rose you wanna go?" deran asked she looked over at him and blinked. confused. "huh?" she asked sitting up more and looking from him to Craig trying to get clues on what they had been talking about. the blonde smirked at her and nodded to J. "wanna go with us surfing?" rose stretched and shrugged with a smile. "Yeah, I'm down." she said abd checked her phone seeing she got a text back from her boss teddy. she rolled her eyes grumbling as shot a reply. "what." craig asked coming over to her. She sighed and motioned to her phone. "fucking teddy man i called him asking for tomorrow off and he's being a dick." she said hopping off the stool. "you never ask off." craig said shocked. "thank you! You think He'd give me one goddamn day." rose said waving her hands in the air. She huffed and raked her hands through her hair regaining control of her anger. "i don't know if i'll keep going. Josey was cool as shit but his guy? no bueno." she said shaking her head. She looked up from her phone. craig rubbed her back and she rolled her eyes some more.

Baz sighed and set his cup down shooting a glance to J who had been watching the little redhead rant. "you can't quit everytime you don't like a boss." baz said. rose chuckled and looked at him with an oh really kind of look.

"I can and I will. I have no passion for it anymore. It's just me pulling everyone's weight and it isn't fair. I barely get paid and I've been a lifeguard for how long baz? i've trained everyone there. i have seniority and just because i look like im a fucking teen he acts like i don't know how to do my job or can't do it. who pulled that fucking giant out of the tide by herself? rose asked with her hands on her hips. "me that's who. Without anyone's help I might just add! can't pull my weight? fuck that and fuck teddy." she snapped rolling her shoulders and looking around the room. " I do all that and he can't give me one god damn day? Nah fuck that, son. i'm calling him. tellin him to hop off my goddamn dick." she muttered brushing her hair off her shoulders angrily. she marched off dialing dialing a number. "Jesus." baz said shaking his head. "I think you hit a sore spot." Deran said with a grin. "Right?" Craig said with a laugh shaking his head. The room felt less tense with Rose out of it and they were able to breathe easy for a moment.

j looked over at Baz before speaking. "are you going?" he asked hopefully. Baz shook his head and pushed off the counter. "i doesn't the night gotta go check on my kid." he said making his way to the sink and rinsing out his cup. he kissed smurf and started leaving when the woman said. "tell cath to bring lena over." He nodded and waved goodbye to the rest of them.

#god damn animals #my stuff #animal kingdom #craig #craig cody #oc #fanfic #i did something #god damn animals 1