#idfk it's just been bugging me this past year.

[retreated-cutie]

for when i’ll inevitably show my boyfriend this blog i’m copying and pasting and doing this goddamn stupid thing

1🐝 What Age(s) Do You Regress To

3 to 5 i don’t know but however i act is not how i acted when i was that age

 2🍯 Do You Pet Regress As Well / What Animal

no

~ 3🥮 How Long Have You Been Regressing

i have no idea

~ 4🐌 Is Your Regression Voluntary, Involuntary, Or A Mixture

involuntary

 ~ 5🐻 What's Your Personality Like When Regressed

bratty and difficult and mean

~ 6🐴 How Often Do You Regress ~

whenever i’m frustrated or upset

 7☕ What Helps You Get Into Headspace

i don’t want to do that

~ 8📜 Are You A Baby, Toddler, Or Big Kid Regressor ~

toddler

 9🦇 Do Your Likes Change When Regressed

not really i was childish to begin with

~ 10⏳ Do You Have A Baby Voice In Headspace ~

no its more like tsundere anime girl voice

 11🍪 What Makes You Instantly Small

didn’t i just answer this

~ 12🧋Why Do You Regress ~

didn’t i just answer this.

13🌙 Pink Or Blue

pink

 ~ 14⭐ Dragons, Unicorns Or Fairies

fairies

 ~ 15☁️ Dinos, Princesses, Space Or Safari Theme

princess

~ 16💫 Neon, Pastel, Neutral Or Dark Pallets

pastel

~ 17🐮 Favorite Regression Clothes ~

being naked while in that head space is upsetting i prefer long sleeves and sweatpants

18🌸 Favorite Color

cerulean

 ~ 19🐭 Do You Collect Stickers

accidentally yes

 ~ 20🧁 Coloring Book Or Paint By Numbers

coloring book

 ~ 21🍧 Playdoh, Legos Or Slime ~

lego

 22🦄 Finger Paint Or Brushes

brushes

~ 23🧼 Crayons, Colored Pencils Or Markers ~

colored pencils

24☀️ Do You Have A CG / Name For CG

No.

~ 25🌻 Do You Have A Baby Sitter

no??

~ 26✨ Do You Have Any Sibbies

1

~ 27🧺 Do Your Parents Know About Your Regression

i’d kill myself

 ~ 28🧋 Favorite Nicknames / Pet Names ~

i’m not answering this

 29🍕 Ideal Playdate

i don’t do this if i had to hang out with another person when i felt this way i’d end my life

~ 30🐱 Sleep In Crib Or With CG ~

neither oh my god let me sleep alone

31🍼 Favorite Snack ~

idfk probably like funyuns or something

 32🧸 Favorite Juice

Coke.

 ~ 33🍪 Favorite Icecream Flavor

superman

~ 34🩹 Favorite Type Of Milk

i’m lactose intolerant

~ 35🐶 Sweet, Sour, Spicy, Bitter Or Savory

savory but since i still have like 70% of my taste, i don’t get savory anymore

~ 36🍰 Favorite Dessert

all i eat is dessert

37🍦 Favorite Type Of Chocolate

milk chocolate

 ~ 38⏳ Mac & Cheese Or Nuggets

nuggets

39🎒 Favorite Movie

fight club or princess and the pauper

~ 40🍬 Favorite Cartoon

uh right now moral orel

~ 41🚀 Favorite Game

genshin impact

~ 42🎀 Favorite Disney Princess

i don’t know if it’s obvious

~ 43⚾ If You Could Have Any 1 Superpower What Would It Be

removing my age regressing tendencies

 44🍄 Anime Or Cartoons

anime

~ 45🍓 Favorite Carebear

i hated the carebears as a child

~ 46✏️ Shows Or Movies ~

movies

47🐛 Do You Believe In Fairies

no

~ 48🐸 Do You Have A Comfort Character

a religiously traumatized 12 year old

 49🌱 Do You Like Rain At Night

i like rain in day

 50🦕 Are You Easily Scared

no

~ 51🧃 Are You Also A Carer

no

 52🌵 Are You Independent Or Dependent

independent

 53🍃 What Pulls You Out Of Headspace

sleeping

 54🍏 Are You Scared Of Bugs

eh kinda

55🦝 Favorite Toy Series

i don’t watch that.

~ 56🚛    Do You Use Pacis

i have one i don’t use it

 57🦴    Do You Use Diaps

no but i’d probably wear one for like an hour if i felt comfortable enough, i wouldn’t actually use it

~ 58🦈   Gear Wishlist

what

~ 59🍵   Favorite Regression Item

a gun to kill myself with

 60🐾   Sippy Cup Or Bottle

sippy cup

61🦊  Oldest Stuffie

dolly

 62🎃  Do You Sleep With A Stuffie

yes and i wake up if i sense he’s not in my arms

~ 63🔥  How Many Stuffies Do You Have

infinite

 ~ 64🍂  Newest Favorite Stuffie

this question is a disgrace

~ 65🏵️  Build A Bear, Amusement Park, Or Disney Store

i’ve never been to any of those

~ 66🥧  Stuffed Animals Or Dolls

stuffies

67👽    Do You Have A Bedtime

no

~ 68🍭    Do You Keep An AgeRe Journal

this account is one

 69⚡️ Do You Have Rules

no

~ 70🍥 Blankie Or Paci

blankie

~ 71🌈 Night Light Or Glow-In-The-Dark Stars

night light

~ 72🌿  Bedtime Stories Or Lullabies

bedtime stories

73🎩 Favorite Thing To Do Outside While Small

i’d rather die

~ 74🐵 Favorite Thing To Do Inside While Small

barbie movies

 75🦋 Blanket Fort Or Bouncy House

blanket fort but when i go in blanket forts there are immediately shadow people outside waiting to kill me

 76🐯 Stroller Or Walk

walk.

~ 77🔮 Dress Up Or Tea Party

both

~ 78🦜 Do You Like The Playground

never did

79💖 Early Bird Or Night Owl

night owl

~ 80📝 Indoors Or Outdoors

indoors

 81💕 Warm Or Cold Weather

cold

~ 82🦢 Dogs Or Cats

cats

 83☎️ Do You Have Any Pets

kity

~ 84💌 Favorite Animal

kity

85🍒 Favorite Holiday

i really dislike holidays

~ 86🐇 Favorite Season

spring

~ 87❤️ What’s Your Big Age

16

~ 88🌼   What’s  A Nostalgic Place For You

my childhood home

89🐳 Playdoh, Legos Or Slime

this was literally already asked

   90🐙 Do You Collect Anything

sunglasses, my own teeth, stuffed animals, fortune cookie slips, idk

91🐠 Bubble Baths Or Bath Toys

neither

 92🍑 Are Your Agere Interests More Fem Or Masc

so much for inclusivity

 93☔️ Do You Stim More While Regressed

no

94🎨 Favorite Place To Regress

i’d rather not regress but if i had to i’d want to be ALONE

 95🧵 Favorite Regression Youtuber

what

 96🌈 Favorite Site/App For Regression Community

i’d honestly rather die

97💐 What Do You Wanna Be When You Grow Up

housewife

   98📒 What’s The Most Nostalgic Electronic For You

innotab

 99📀 A Toy You Always Wanted But Never Got As A Kid

dude this happened to me so much in my life i dont remember anymore

100🪐 What Is Your Favorite Thing To Learn About In Headspace

??

[skullmoss]

/stumbles back onto tumblr with another beastars hot take/

anyway spoilers for how the series ends & regarding the titular “beastars” and the concept of a beastar

now, i’ll be the first to agree that the last half of the manga, specifically the events following melon’s actual introduction, is an absolute mess and it’s very obvious that paru was writing by the seat of her pants for most of it. i also agree that the ending of the series was rushed, and the endgame for louis with him going through his arranged marriage is understandably unsatisfactory.

however, what i’m concerning myself with are the people whose complaints with the ending revolve around the fact that legosi & louis do not actually becomes recognized beastars. and what i want to say is...

that’s not a valid complaint.

in fact, it completely misses the point of the series. because although beastars the manga falls into a lot of conventions of the shounen genre, it is not a conventional shounen. the reader’s desire for legosi and louis to end the series as beastars on paper and as recognized in society is more about wanting the manga’s ending to fit within convention and expectation, when beastars the canon is all about taking societal conventions and turning them on its head. in fact, the series would have been worse off had legosi and louis been made actual beastars, because the end of the series points to society changing slowly and steadily not because of any particular leadership, but by society at large finally listening to and trying to understand each other beyond what is “socially acceptable”

changing society for the better is not becoming a part of the establishment. the idea of a beastar & the way it's established in the world is that it's a fucked up concept that prioritizes one species over the other as an absolute authority & just slapping two people of different species, herbivore & carnivore, isn't going to change anything.

change comes from society at large and the people on the ground floor, INSPIRED by individuals, sure, but not reliant on individuals who are given elevate status. what legosi and louis did was inspire people to change, and that’s all they needed to do.

they did not need the actual labels or recognition. the better society for carnivores and herbivores is one where no beastar is needed. it’s just a glorified cop. and i feel like that’s the point paru was trying to make, as evidenced by yahya hanging up his status of being a beastar and just being a flat out vigilante (though honestly i feel like a more cohesive point would have been made had yahya died tbh).

anyway TL;DR

while the ending is definitely flawed, rushed, and anything but perfect, to the people who say the ending of the series sucked bc legosi & louis dont actually become beastars on paper...the truth is, you're just gluttons for convention that uphold status quo.

and at its core, beastars is about going beyond the status quo.

#beastars #legosi #louis #idfk it's just been bugging me this past year.

[sparxwrites]

(first tma fic, kids, let’s go!! set at some ambiguous point in s3 or something, idfk. massive thank you to @capitola, @hoodienanami, and @ladyofrosefire for beta’ing / looking this over and reassuring me it wasn’t terrible. massive thank you also to mr sims for my life lmao.)

cw for minor body horror, and eyes in places they shouldn’t be

[ao3]

There’s a light on in Jon’s office.

It’s not a bright light, just the soft glow of a desk lamp spilling out from under the door, but still. It’s well past midnight. No one should be working – hell, Martin’s only in the Archives because he’d forgotten his phone when he went out with the others for drinks. And sure, Jon’s known for his late nights and early starts, but verging on one in the morning seems ridiculous even for him.

Martin hesitates outside the door for a full minute before knocking, once.

There’s no response, but Jon’s definitely in. Or someone is, at least. There’s a voice – muffled, but still audible, speaking continuously – from inside the room. Statements, then, probably. Though why Jon would be reading statements at this time of the night is beyond Martin, especially when he’s been at it all day, too.

He hovers for another minute, another two, but the voice doesn’t quiet. The light doesn’t go off. He’s half tempted to leave his weird boss to his weird work hours and just not interfere in what could be some weird Beholding ritual for all he knows. That would be the sensible thing to do, really.

After a cumulative three minutes of worrying, Martin resolves to open the door. Just a little. Just to check if Jon’s okay.

It’s not locked, which – given the hour, and the Archives’ track record with murder attempts and/or supernatural infiltration – seems like a safety hazard. Martin pushes it open, gingerly, nudging his way into the doorway and peering inside, fully prepared to get snapped at for intruding.

Jon’s sat at his desk, which is normal, and has a half-drunk glass of whiskey by one elbow, which is not. His hands are laid flat on his desk, either side of a sheet of paper, and his face lit in strange, sharp angles by the desk lamp’s single point of light. The ever-present tape recorder whirs away in front of him, hungry for his soft words.

It’s a fairly typical scene, other than the lateness. And the whiskey. And the strange energy in the air, prickling, not the usual light touch of being watched, but the heavy weight of something present. He’s trying not to think about that one, though.

Martin watches, silently, unwilling to interrupt. Jon doesn’t appreciate being interrupted mid-statement, he’s found. Besides, it sounds like the statement’s ending anyway – something about an improbable underwater fire at an oil rig, as far as Martin can piece together from the closing remarks.

Politely reminding Jon of the twin values of sleep and of locking his office door can wait until he’s finished.

“…Statement ends,” concludes Jon, voice soft and flat in that way it only ever gets when he’s recording statements. The real statements, that is, the ones that will only go on tape. His eyes are unfocused, distant. He doesn’t even seem to be looking at the paper in front of him, which… unusually, for a statement, seems to be mostly blank. Instead, he’s staring unseeingly at the wall opposite his desk, perfectly silent and perfectly still.

It’s not like Jon’s never worked late before, and it’s not like Martin’s never found him reading statements at some god-awful, unsociable hour of the night or morning, but this… Something feels different about this. Something feels weird, and Martin’s gotten pretty confident in trusting his gut about weird feelings.

“Jon?” he says, softly, nervously. He’s still hovering in the doorway, uncertain, unwilling to cross into the room proper on sheer animal instinct.

He gets no response. Instead, Jon flinches, like he’s been stuck with a needle.

It’s an oddly restrained motion, given he doesn’t seem to be entirely present, a sort of full-body twitch accompanied by a quiet hiccup of sound. Like he’s swallowed down a sob. His breath stutters in his chest, hitches. A high-pitched, drawn-out noise of pain strangles itself in his throat, escapes through his nose instead in a long whine.

His eyes don’t refocus. His hands never move from their place settled flat against the desk. His expression doesn’t change.

“…Statement of Mrs. Anisha Singh,” he says, eventually, his voice still level and calm. It would be almost soothing, if not for that fixed stare, the line of tension in his shoulders, the whiskey on the desk. If not for that strange, heart-stopping moment of quiet agony. “Regarding the disappearance and return of a beloved family pet. Statement begins.”

Now Martin’s looking for it, he can hear the note of strain that colours the edge of each word, pain or exhaustion or some other ragged, aching thing entirely that even… whatever it is that’s keeping him blank and still can’t quite exorcise entirely.

“Jon,” says Martin, a little more firmly, because this is– weird. Even by Jon’s standards, even by the Archives’ standards, this is really, really weird.

“We’d had him for years, you see. Mr. Kibbles, I mean.” Jon’s voice softens as he slips into the statement, pitches up a little into something more female than his usual tone. There’s the slightest edge of an accent to it, though Martin isn’t sure what accent. “Years and years, and he was always so sweet. He was a rescue cat, so of course there were some issues at first, but–”

Martin hesitates and then, swallowing hard, crosses the room and scoots around the desk, until he’s standing at Jon’s elbow. “Jon?” he says again, without much hope. When he gets no response, he sets a hand on Jon’s shoulder, and shakes him, ever so gently.

“–why we thought it was strange, when he went missing,” says Jon, still staring straight ahead, hands still flat on the desk. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t respond, doesn’t so much as blink.

Martin shakes him, again, a little harder. Then his nerves run out, so he switches to sort of awkwardly rubbing Jon’s shoulder, his back, as insistently as possible. Even through Jon’s customary jumper and shirt, he can feel– bumps, almost, strange raised nodules that he thinks must be scar tissue. Must be from the worms. He shudders at the thought, and distracts himself by calling Jon’s name again, louder than before.

Nothing. It’s like Martin’s not even there.

“Okay,” says Martin, as easily as he can manage when everything in his nerves sings wrong, when there’s a prickle on the back of his neck like Jon’s staring at him. It’s ridiculous, Jon's eyes aren’t even focused, but… “Okay, right.” He unwinds his scarf from round his neck, and shrugs his jacket off, his motions jerky with unease. “I’m– I’m going to go make us some tea, then.”

It seems a bit pathetic, when he says it out loud. But it’s not like there’s any employee manual segment on what to do if your boss gets possessed by his god in the early hours of the morning, and he figures making tea can’t hurt the situation. Perhaps the warmth and steam of a cup on his desk might help… bring Jon back to himself, or something.

At the very least, doing something with his hands might stop them from shaking.

He makes the tea on autopilot, mostly, drifting from sink to kettle to cupboard, retrieving mugs and teabags and milk. His brain is too busy whirring, turning the image of Jon over and over in his head, to concentrate on the process all that much. He’s desperately trying to work out if this is okay, if this is normal capital-A Archivist business, or if this is something new, or something dangerous, or something…

The tea’s oversteeped, by the time he remembers to take the teabags out. Not that it matters, really. Only one of the cups is getting drunk, after all, and Martin’s too strung-out on nerves for overly bitter tea to be anything other than a laughable distraction.

By the time he gets back, Jon’s nearly done with the statement. He hasn’t moved an inch, hands still on the damn desk, eyes still fixed unseeing on the far wall. Martin sighs, and sets the tea on the desk a few inches from the whiskey nonetheless. “There you go,” he says, and immediately feels guilty – because Jon’s doing a statement, the tape recorder’s still running, because he’s ruining the recording.

He figures, as he retreats to a chair tucked against the wall, next to one of the bookshelves, that his priorities probably say something about how badly this job has messed him up. Boss might be possessed? It’s probably fine. Ruining a statement, though? Unforgivable.

“–know what I’m going to tell the kids,” says Jon. “They loved the cat. They were so happy when he came back. But they didn’t see it. Not like I did. They didn’t see what those fleas had done to him. They wouldn’t understand, if I told them what I had to do.”

Martin winces, and takes a sip of tea to try and stop from thinking about that too hard. It scalds his tongue a little. He’s missed the bulk of the statement, but he’s got a pretty good idea of what bugs can do to a person – or a cat, as the case may be. And he’s got a pretty good idea of what Mrs. Singh might have had to do to get rid of them.

“I’d suggest we go to the local rescue this weekend, get another cat to replace Mr. Kibbles, but… I don’t know if I’m ready to have another pet right now, after all this. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to have another pet again.” Jon pauses, unblinking, unmoving – and when he speaks again, his voice is back to his own, albeit still coloured by that awful, artificial flatness. “Statement ends.”

And again he flinches, like he’s been stuck unexpectedly with something sharp, hunching in on himself. He hiccups out another sob, another aborted hitch of sound, and then keens. It’s an awful noise, a long, drawn-out whimper so full of pain that Martin’s on his feet before he can even think about it.

He’s not sure what he can possibly do to help with this, especially when he doesn’t even know what’s going on. But it seems wrong to just sit there, to just watch, with Jon hurting in front of his eyes.

Before he can take another step, though, the skin of Jon’s neck starts to– shift. It’s not a warping or a melting, exactly, nothing like the things the Desolation does to human flesh. It’s more of an unfurling, skin parting and opening as though that was what it was always meant to do. Except it’s that’s not right, because that’s a neck, because skin doesn’t move like that, because necks don’t open–

Jon’s whine finally, finally cuts off, with a frantic gasp.

“Oh, god,” says Martin, faintly, frozen in place with his hands white-knuckled around his mug – because there, on the side of Jon’s neck, is a wide, brown eye.

It blinks, slowly, its thick black eyelashes brushing across Jon’s skin. Then it spins in its– socket? God, in whatever’s anchoring it into Jon’s skin, and Martin really doesn’t want to think about that– and settles its wide and fixed gaze on Martin.

When Martin takes a tentative step to the side, it tracks his movement, smooth and unblinking. He thinks about the bumps under Jon’s jumper, oddly soft beneath his hand, and is abruptly overcome with nausea.

How long has this been going on? How long has Jon sat here, unnaturally still, giving statement after statement with no paper to read from and no pause between? …How many of these eyes are there, under Jon’s collared shirt and long-sleeved jumpers and carefully pressed trousers, scattered across his ribs and stomach and thighs?

From the presence of the whiskey, Martin has an awful feeling that this isn’t even the first night this has happened. That this is something Jon had braced for, from prior experience.

The idea of Jon sat alone in his office, blank paper and a waiting tape recorder in front of him, grimly downing spirits in anticipation of the pain to follow, sets Martin’s chest in an abrupt and unrelenting vise.

“A-aah. Statement–” starts Jon, and there’s a definite waver to his voice now, an unsteadiness apparently even the Beholding can’t eradicate. There are fine tremors starting up across his shoulders, and wetness around the rims of his human eyes. “–o-of Mr. Gregory Freeman, regarding th-the circumstances of his daughter’s death on a family hiking trip. Statement– begins.”

Four statements later – a young woman ravenously hungry for her own flesh, a house that seemed to shrink with every passing day, an elderly man with a sudden and violent phobia of cameras, a woman who had started leaving cobwebs on everything she touched – and Jon is still going. Martin’s made another two cups of tea for them both, out of sheer anxious energy, replacing the undrunk and cooling mug on Jon’s desk each time.

Four more statements. Four more eyes emerging somewhere on Jon’s body. Four more points of pain, sending him flinching and sobbing between each statement.

Martin watches them all and clutches his empty mug, white-knuckled, helpless. He watches Jon finish each statement, watches him weather the pain, watches him start up once again– and he goes to get more tea. There’s nothing else he can do, but be witness to this, whatever this is. Be a witness to Jon’s suffering.

Jon finishes a fifth statement, and is halfway into a sixth, before he starts crying. Thin trails of tears start to drip down his nose and cheeks, over his constantly moving lips. They’re barely visible in the half-darkness, just a faint gleam as they catch the raking light from his desk lamp. His expression doesn’t change, nor his tone, but he cries silently nonetheless. The eye on his neck is not so much as damp.

Martin cries with him, softly, for a while.

No other eyes show up on his face or neck, despite the endless statements, the endless gaps between. One does form on his wrist, though, right over the bone of it, pale blue and half-hidden by the cuff of his shirt. It blinks once, indolently, at Martin, before rolling to stare fixedly at the doorway to the room. Quietly watching.

The one on Jon’s neck still stares at Martin, unblinking, single-minded. He gets used to it, after a horribly short space of time.

The time passes strangely, elastic. Martin drinks his tea, makes another cup, and drinks that too. He replaces Jon’s whenever it gets cold, out of some weird sense of duty that Jon will have at least warm tea when he snaps out of whatever’s going on. He dozes, at some points, lulled into an uneasy sleep by the soothing sound of Jon’s words. He’s inevitably reawakened when the statement ends, though, by Jon’s noises of pain, louder and less restrained each time. By the end of, he’s crying out openly with each new eye, voice hoarse and raw in a way that never carries over to his statements.

It’s six in the morning, by the count of the clock on the wall, before Jon finally stops. “Statement ends,” he says, and Martin waits, patient and exhausted, for him to start again with statement of – but it never comes.

Instead, Jon– collapses. Crumples over his desk with an unsteady exhale, like a puppet with its strings cut. Out of the grip of the eye, the shaking is worse – violent, shocky, like he’s about to fall apart.

Maybe he is.

For a second, Martin’s worried he’s having a seizure, or some more eldritch equivalent. Then he realises Jon isn’t just breathing, jerky and unsteady and on the edge of sobbing. He’s speaking, still, muttering soft and frantic to himself.

“No more. No more. No more. Please. No–”

“Jon?” says Martin, as gently as he can manage, because he can’t bear it a second longer. “Are you–”

Jon goes silent in a heartbeat, and as still as he can with the tremors still running through him. “Martin.” His voice is wrecked, but he still cuts Martin off with such authority. “What– what are you doing here? God, what– time is it?”

He’s slurring a little, under the hoarse rasp, but Martin’s not sure it’s anything to do with the whiskey. There’s a giddy edge to it that rubs up against the exhaustion, like he’s overstimulated and wrung out all at once. Perhaps he is, after a night of being force-fed statements directly into his brain.

Jon drags himself upright again, slowly, painfully, until he’s at least slumped in his seat rather than collapsed over his desk. There are dark bags under his human eyes, and his hair’s a mess, and that wide, brown eye in the side of his neck is still staring. Martin really wishes it wouldn’t. Wishes that it would at least stare at something other than him.

The eye, as though reading his thoughts – and god, for all Martin knows, it is – blinks. Just once.

“I, um. It’s about six, I think. In the morning. I, I came in last night, and you were– aha, well, um, I don’t really know what you were! But it seemed kind of weird, so I thought… I’d better keep you company. In case it got weirder, you know?”

It feels stupid, when he says it like that. What did he do, other than sitting there, watching, making tea? It was ridiculous of him to have thought he could help in the first place.

Jon opens his mouth as if to reply – but his eyes catch on the lukewarm cup of tea by one elbow, and he stops. Swallows. Closes his mouth. “…That was– thoughtful of you, Martin,” he says, in the end, which isn’t quite a thank you but is remarkably close. He grabs the mug of tea, and downs half of it in one long swallow, before reaching up to scrub a hand over his face, his neck. “I suppose it goes without saying that this–”

The moment his fingers touch the eye, he freezes. Then he slaps a hand over it, almost guiltily, and stares at Martin with wide, wild eyes.

“…It’s been watching me all night,” says Martin, and winces as he watches Jon’s expression crumple. “Look, don’t– here.” He grabs his scarf off the back of his chair and stumbles over to the desk, shoves it towards Jon in a bundle. “You can cover it up or something, if you want. And… please don’t freak out, but– there’s one on your wrist, too.”

Jon stares at the scarf for a long, long moment, before laughing hollowly. When he reaches across the desk to take it, he uses the hand that was covering his neck, and that wide brown eye stares accusatorily back at Martin. He doesn’t put the scarf on – just sits there, holding it, fingers white-knuckled against the soft wool.

“I was doing so well,” he says, and he sounds exhausted. When he reaches for a drink again, it’s from the half-full glass of whiskey. “I was doing so well, keeping them covered…”

There’s a comment to be made about drinking on the job, and also about the ill-advisedness of whiskey at six in the morning, but Martin bites his tongue. “Maybe they want to be uncovered…?” he offers, and winces immediately. “Just. You know. Eyes, and all that. Maybe they want to be able to see.”

“They can see whether they’re covered or not,” mutters Jon, sourly. “They’re not– this,” he gestures to his neck, “is just another, another test, or some kind of sick game, I know it. It’s just–”

“How many are there?” blurts Martin, because Jon’s starting to spiral, and it’s the first thing that springs to mind. “–Oh, god, you. You don’t have to answer that, just forget I asked, really. Really.”

Jon hesitates, before standing up abruptly enough that his chair screeches against the floor. “Oh, damn it,” he mutters, setting the scarf down on the desk and knocking back the rest of the whiskey. He pulls a face at the burn of it, but his hands are already fumbling with the hem of his jumper, tugging it off over his head and immediately going for the buttons on his shirt. “Damn it all–”

His hands are shaking badly enough Martin almost wants to help, but the situation is weird enough already without offering to help his boss strip, so he… doesn’t. Instead, he just stands there, awkwardly, as Jon fights to get the buttons on his shirt open.

When he finally manages it, Martin can’t quite hold back a sharp, panicked intake of breath.

“There’s more lower down,” says Jon, quiet misery in his wrecked voice. “And on my back. And my arms, and– I don’t know how many. I… I haven’t counted. Maybe– a hundred? More?”

The dozens of eyes across his torso don’t blink, but they do shift, pupils contracting in the sudden light and darting around for something to focus on. They’re different sizes, shapes, colours, peppered across his skin and overlapping with his many scars as though competing for space.

Jon prods at a red-rimmed, newish-looking one on his stomach, scowling, and hisses out a breath of pain at the unpleasant, yielding contact between eyeball and finger. It blinks in retaliation, and somehow manages to look annoyed.

For a strange, nauseating second, Martin isn’t sure whether he wants to run, or to step closer, to fit his hands against the curve of Jon’s too-prominent ribs and feel the soft brush of eyelashes against his palms. In the end, thankfully, he does neither – just stands there, dumb, staring, as Jon reaches for his shirt buttons and starts to dress himself once more.

“You– you should sleep,” he offers, unsteadily, as Jon tugs his jumper back over his head. “I can go set up the bed, if you like. You know, where I slept, when…”

Jon finishes wrestling the jumper into submission, and collapses back into his chair, sighing. “I… yes. I suppose I should,” he says, and the slur is stronger now, without the anger and panic to camouflage it. The trembling, never quite banished from the line of his shoulders, is coming back stronger again. “Sleep would be– nice.”

There’s something bitter in the way he says it, almost sarcastic, but Martin’s too tired to call him up on it. “Okay,” he says, instead. “Okay, I’ll go, um, I’ll go set up the bed then. You just wait here, and, and maybe… drink some of the tea? Might help your throat. Definitely no more whiskey, though, please.”

Jon huffs out something that might almost be a laugh, though it sounds raw and rasping. “No more whiskey tonight– this morning,” he agrees, groping across the desk for the by now rather cold mug tea. “The pain’s fading now, anyway, I’ll be fine.” The words seem to slip out of him, an admission of vulnerability he’s too hurting and exhausted to hold them back. “…Thank you, Martin.”

The hand not currently curled around the mug of tea has found the wool of Martin’s scarf again, fingers curled absently into the softness of it. Martin’s not sure if he’s getting that back. He’s not sure he minds, either.

“It’s no problem. Really!” he says, with a small smile – and, despite the night full of confusion, and worry, and far too much oversteeped tea, he means it. He means it with all his heart. “You’re– you’re welcome.”

#the magnus archives #martin blackwood #jon sims #jonathan sims #jonmartin #only a lil bit but it's There #fic #tma #tma fic #(pls tell me if this is not correct tagging etiquette for the fandom and i'll fix it btw!)

[yyxgin]

i think what bugged me the most is i could say ‘they’re literal depression pills/they made me depressed’ and could reel off the side effect word for word (1/10 will experience mood swings (sometimes in the form of depression)) which was literally the first fricking side effect listed and the most common and she would still refer to it as me being sad literally seconds later in a convo. okay i never went to the doctor but when it occurred to me that, hey, something isn’t right, we were in the middle of a fucking pandemic!! i mean, we still are, but you get the point. this was right at the beginning when they basically closed everything as well so even if i wanted to i wouldn’t have been able to go see someone about it. but it’s whatever now, i don’t take them and i don’t have to give her any advice about them ✌️ i completely get the lack of validity about your emotions. that’s exactly how i felt.

i work so im not bothered about seeing people as i see them enough by my standards already but there is a helpful little voice in the back of my head reminding me that i still need to see my friends!! from before i got a job lol. i worked like 55 hours? my first proper week when i wasn’t on reduced hours and now i work maybe 30? which annoys me so i’m gonna ask for more bc i wanna buy a car and insurance. you still go to school, right? i feel like you’re more stressed about work considering you’re studying too. or were. have you just broken up from school? i don’t study, thank fuck, anymore, so i can do full time but i always get put on evenings so i’m thinking of getting a 9 to 5 bc then i can get the money i need.

a woman was rude to me bc her takeaway wasn’t ready bang on the clock when she turned up to pick it up. man it took literally every fibre in my being not to tell her to fucking leave me alone bc i’m a waitress?? what does she expect me to do??? i found out after but apparently our website tells you to allow a 15 minute slot when you order takeaway to pick up. i checked on this woman’s takeaway and told her it’d be ready in 10 minutes and she said sumn along the lines of ‘so 10 past 8?’. imma tell you straight i wasn’t looking at my phone so i assumed that meant the time was 8pm! (it wasn’t) she said to me ‘and i assume you’ll be knocking money off of the bill for that?’ and i politely replied ‘i can’t do that.’ bc i literally cannot. has to be a managerial figure. bearing in mind she’s already paid in full online???????? n she replies ‘do you wanna go suggest that?’ and nods towards the kitchen and i said no and walked off. the AUDACITY??? anyway i told my manager and she rolled her eyes and was like we don’t do partial refunds and said she’d talk to the woman when her order was ready. this woman was all up in my face saying ‘do you think that’s a reasonable time?’ asking if she should come back at 8:10 and im like idfk?? i have things to be doing can you fuck off?? no i didn’t say that but she says ‘i’ve got kids in the car with the engine running’ and i deadpanned ‘i didn’t tell you to leave your kids in the car with the engine running’ bc it was the first thing my brain thought of that wasn’t ‘sounds like a you problem to me’. in the end she left and came back but when she came back she was properly shouting at another waitress i work with and the girl was like 😄 your food was ready 20 minutes ago but you didn’t leave your details to be able to ring you to tell you it’s ready. she even re-mentioned the kids in the car saying they were starving and it was all our fault and the girl was like hmm okay. and then the woman said she was gonna leave a bad review on trip advisor!! and the waitress was like 😃 you do that bestie!! another great day on the grind :D (i forgot to say we were swamped on saturday so that’s why everything was so busy but she was literally the only one complaining that bad, like literally everyone could see we were struggling but they also were saying to wait staff things like ‘i know you can’t make things go quicker back there’ while we were apologising for the phat delay on their food).

another funny one (that made the barman laugh when i told it to him) was a grandma and a grandson in my section. the grandma was dictating his life jesus 😭 (not important but made me go 😳) but one of the girls cleared the table partially when i was doing sumn else so i finished it off and when we get back to kp she tells me the grandma complained the food was cold and without hesitation i said ‘well she fucking ate it all so tell her to fuck off and talk to someone who gives a shit’. she went quiet and i was like,, man i hope i didn’t scare her. but like. they cleared their plates. there was no food left. she didn’t call someone over. she didn’t say anything to anyone when they ask if it was okay. why wait until the end?? anyway i told thé barman and he giggled (he’s got a lovely laugh in my opinion bc it sounds like he’s snickering at everything). i was NOT going to tell my manager bc there’s literally no point. same day, later on, a man said his mussels were cold, i took them back and the kitchen cooked them again. i’d barely put the food down before he called me over (this one is a good one bc he hasn’t eaten EVERYTHING before complaining and therefore we can do something about the problem‼️) respect to that guy.

one of the girls gave me a lift home last night n the barman directed her right to my house without ever having been to my house before (his cousin used to live in the flats down the other end, he says) and when i messaged her later on thanking her and saying it was a bit sus that he directed her perfectly to mine n she said ‘hmm ben seems to go to yours more than he does his own home 🤔🤔🤔🤔’ bc apparently he was absolute shite at giving directions to his flat 😭 n e way he’s a sweetheart n he says he doesn’t like christmas anymore n he made me sad after he said that n i said i’d post coal through his letter box n he said i might as well n i was like okay this is an actual problem n now i’m gone be super nice to him at christmas bc he deserves so much more that the hand he’s been dealt. this convo happened after i let him try this herbal tea he said smelt nice n i said it tasted like christmas to me. he’s such a good person (despite literally everything he tells me about his past) n i cannot have him being a little humbug. god i think this crush i joked to you about is becoming a soft core friendship. like every fucking wattpad story out there. me n the girls agreed someone has to love him 🥺

okay im signing off now ily ~ 🌻

 i am glad you are feeling better though, nobody deserves to suffer. and nobody deserves to have their emotions invalidated. remember that your emotions matter at all times. <3

yesyes i am still in school !! altough my summer break started on july 1st so i am not that stressed about managing many things at once anymore hh,, also you are working so much ??? damn ?? please remember to take some breaks and relax !! and meet your friends !!! have fun. i know you are saving up money but please dont overwork yourself !

wHY ARE PEOPLE SO RUDE OH MY GOD I SWEAR,,, i learned that while working with people. i just,, it feels like they are all looking down on me just because i am young and work there part-time. like bro,,chill. also i feel kind of bad when they ask me where stuff is and i cant tell them bc i have no idea but at the same time if people were all introverts like me i wouldnt have this problem. :) dfjk jk jk i should improve on that. i wish people were more nice to you !!! who do they think they are ?? like,,,,,why are you rude. this is clearly not your problem.

i like it when people tell you respectfully. like the guy you mentioned. because clearly what are you going to do about the cold food when they’ve eaten it all. where’s the logic. 

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS OVER AT YOURS EVERY OTHER DAY DFJAKL that’s so funny. also i am bad at giving directions to my flat as well lmaoo poor ladies that drive me home from work sometimes. also i hate christmas as well lmaoo i feel that boy. its a little hard for me and i hope he doesn’t feel as bad during christmas this year when he has you around hihi,,, i fully stan this friendship. altough i am a big fan of friends to lovers if you know what i mean. in the energy of wattpad :))

ily !!!

#you can guess my mental stability by how quick i respond to asks #anyways #💌ask #🌻 anon

[bugband]

for the band thing: the beatles & if you’ve gotten it them john !

hi ! sorry this took me a long time to reply to ,, but here’s the original post 4 this ask game 

i cant exactly recall the day i got into the beatles but it was likely somewhere between summer to fall of 2015 but a set fan by 2016. timelines seem to blend into each other making it hard to say exactly when bc to be honest idfk,,i’ve always known about the beatles. they seem to have been a part of me for many years one way or another. i can remember the times ive unknowingly sang twist and shout (i look back at those times fondly. i had fun) the beatles have a certain nostalgia that clings to them that helps with the immense comfort i associate with them.

around 2014-5 i went into a stage of experimentation and this involved journeying through the past - likely influenced by my sister who herself was a big beatles fan. i’d started listening to come together, here comes the sun, that shit casually until that slowed down for a year. 2016 started off with a huge classic rock phase, but it took more months for the beatles to grow on me. around late summer-fall has two timelines: watching yellow submarine and having a lost instagram friend introduce me to john discourse and mclennon fanfiction (she suggested the now deceased ‘ghost’ by hellolittlereader, rest in peace). despite my lack of skills for deciphering the order of events i just know that these several events sparked a love for the beatles during a time where change in my life was most definitely needed. 

if it weren’t for the beatles, genuinely, i don’t know just how alive i would really be at this very moment. they have helped me grow, understand myself as a person as well as so much more and i couldnt be more grateful for 4 fucking bugs. how silly. 4 fucking bugs have this influence on me. the beatles make me a very happy person.

#no clear answer here #sorry #but its so much easier to think about #u dont know how difficult it was to write out this answer #and putting these THINGS into WORDS #but then again i think about it all the time #? #songsfordrella #answered #nat.jpg

[dazais-guardian-angel]

lots of tmi medical/personal shit below. tumblr please help me

I’m so done, I’m so tired of being sick, it’s been a year and four months and this health problem has changed and and evolved and has gotten much better, but still, still, I suffer; it’s not completely gone, I suffer differently now, and I keep saying “I’m done”, but that doesn’t mean anything because I have no choice but to keep suffering through it because no one knows what’s truly wrong or how to help me. I was done ages ago, but have had to keep pushing on without any other choice. 

I’m disabled, in a wheelchair, with a muscle degenerative disease, that normally doesn’t affect me much beyond not being able to walk, catching colds and allergy season being worse for me than others, using a breathing machine when I sleep, and having to be tube fed. Last year I started having what it would take months and months, a hospital stay, and so many doctor visits to surmise that I’m probably having reflux. I had a surgery when I was a baby to keep me from refluxing or vomiting, but apparently those don’t last past ten years, and I’m more likely to have reflux from eating lying down. Months and months of crying and arguing with insurance and struggling to get a liquid Prevacid later, I’m so much better than I was. I can breathe normally about half the time, and can lie to myself and tell myself everything is back to normal during those times.

But it isn’t. My stomach still becomes tight and bloated often, I get constipated (which has always been a thing, but it’s worse when it happens now because it just puts more upward pressure on my lungs), I have a ton of saliva/mucus in my mouth that i keep having to swallow that gurgles and sometimes I’m afraid will choke me (and sometimes my throat hurts a little), that gives me congestion (before all this happened, the only time I’d ever be congested is when I’ve caught a bug or when allergies are really bothering me. Now, it’s every day to some degree, which is not normal for me at all), and worst of all, I get this strange feeling near-unsteadiness and shortness of breath and the only thing that helps it is moving around wildly or being rubbed on my back. I’ve had panic attacks because of all this, so maybe that’s anxiety. I’m certainly mentally anxious and stressed as fuck out of my goddamn mind. But I don’t know for sure. We don’t know anything for sure. The other day I started an antibiotic in case I have a sinus infection or something similar, and I woke up feeling nauseous and pale and shaky and weak and couldn’t breathe, so basically the anxiety(???) cranked up to a hundred, and I thought I was going to die. I’ve taken that antibiotic a hundred times before and it was fine, but fuck logic anymore; there is no logic with me anymore. But if I can’t take antibiotics anymore (cause I absolutely one hundred percent cannot throw up; it would probably kill me), then I’m fucked for real! Then again, I’m fucked anyway if I catch something while still like this, so.

I don’t know if I still have reflux. I don’t know what this stuff in my mouth and throat is that feels like when you need to burp when I swallow it. I don’t know if I have anxiety, and if I do, what is the anxiety and what isn’t it. Why does moving and being rubbed help it. I don’t know anything. I’m tired of fearing for my life all the time, though, and not knowing what’s happening to me, and doctors being unable to help, just telling us to do tests I can’t feasibly do. But my body is a wreck, I’m underweight (and already small as hell for my age) and desperately need to gain weight, but can’t because of these stomach problems that cause us to keep cutting back the amount of food I get so I can breathe, I’m probably dehydrated, I might be low on other things, I’m taking so many meds and who knows what all they’re doing to me and causing to happen that we don’t know about, my sitting posture is absolute crap and I lean over on my stomach, probably making this shit worse, whatever “this shit” is, and I get nerve pain down my legs from sitting that also gives me headaches (idfk).

I’m so scared. And scared of being scared. I lie to myself and tell myself that I’m happy, and I’m definitely happier than I was, but I’m never going to be as happy as I was before May of 2017 until I’m fixed. And no one knows how to fix me. How long until I waste away like this, starve? Why does no one know what’s wrong with me, know how to help me?

I can’t believe I’m going to post this; I never wanted to reveal any of this gross shit about my body online, because I hate it and no one should have to know about it. Maybe it won’t even matter because no one will read this lol. But I’m at my wit’s end. I need help. I’m scared and desperate and upset and I don’t know what to do to save myself, someone please help me

I just want my normal life back.

#personal posts #tw medical #medical stuff #tmi #about my body #health side of tumblr help me #i don't know if i actually mean that or not because getting health advice from strangers online can't be smart #but the fact that i'm even half-trying at all shows how fucking desperate i am #how done #doctors won't help you for shit if you're not able-bodied #and my situation is extremely specific so #i'm not expecting answers #especially since this is far from all the details lol #but god i have to try #at the very least to just know i tried and to get validation LMFAO #why am i doing this i'm insane #i gotta do t before it talk myself out of it though

[gamesoffate]

The Darker Grey: Arc1 Ses8

[Watch P1 Here] [Watch P2 Here] [Watch P3 Here]

Mission/Session Eight

Oh look, it’s my fucking turn again to spin the tale of our daily life in the big bad Greyhounds. Such a fucking waste of time but whatever…HERE WE GO YOU DICKBAGS!

Alright, since we are going by chronological order, I wasn’t exactly there for this situation. Our good moron Percy explaining what wonderful thing he got himself into. Apparently while we were out dealing with Mike, our dearly departed dip shit of a leader that now lies riddled with bullets…Good riddance. 

But yeah back to the thing that happened. Percy wakes up chained to some bed in some normal ass looking room. Sure that’s nothing new for him but yeah. The young library wench that we took the money from places a curse on him that he can’t steal anymore, throwing sawdust all over him and shit. Magic is fucking weird and stupid but yeah. She says he will be cursed until he pays her back completely. Her motive other than that was that she found out we blinded that old bag Mag who ran that mystic shop. Old bitch would have died soon anyway, what’s wrong with being blind for the rest of her short years? People are soo fucking whiny. So yeah only the library bitch is the only one that can take the curse off. 

Percy, of course agrees to do this, not known for manning up to anything. Apparently she claps and his dumb ass wakes up in front of the QBF covered in dew and shit.

So this is when the rest of this group including the awesome mother fucker writing this piece of shit report is sitting in the usual spot. There’s a crying woman, Itniss’ gf or whatever but nobody bothers to ask what is up. Like we would give a shit anyway. Itniss is comforting her though. How cute. I’m not rolling my eyes. 

Sincere, that little wimpy shit comes up to us and with his usual little weak ass self. He asks Hazel who I just ragged about losing her eye that Rolan, his dead friend was supposed to be in some tournament and asks her to take his position in the fight because she’s strong and since his dead bf died, he would have to fight and we all know that wouldn’t end well. Useless twat. She says ‘we’ll see’. Apparently the tournament is this afternoon so she doesn’t have much time to decide.

Percy then asks the million dollar question about her missing eye then she redirects it to me. I’m not going to tell some absent doucher what happened so I withheld the info. Percy has no idea where he went apparently and neither do we. I just assumed he ran away like a little bitch as always. 

Percy then explains the events that happened, already explained above. I aint writing it again, for the love of fuck. So the genius I am says we should just force them to take off the curse. My gun is good for this sort of thing. I remember her being a little mouse so shouldn’t be a problem. Percy says they need the money and I we agree as long as we get it back. We can always kill the bitch and take it. No big deal.

I’m feeling proud still having come from the successful night of killing that useless prick Mike so I had to brag cause hell yeah! Fuck that guy! 

Then the front door blasts open and Boss lady comes stomping in with her samurai wannabe ass partner (one of those ooh so amazing Alpha’s). They are arguing about some stupid shit and rules and yada yada I don’t know what the fuck they are on about. They push past my druggie I brought on board and Toshiro uses his token ‘bitch tits’ line. Articulate.  They go upstairs, talking about compromise. Idfk.

Yunam is just about to leave when Rajeet comes up to our table or as I like to call him, boss number three. He stops Yunam and nudges his head back to the table. Boss 3 tries to give us a mission but we talk about sorting the curse out first. He calls it a personal problem and gives us some mission about getting in the good graces of the Mayor of the mines, his royal sootness! Apparently now we can’t be found responsible for killing any officials or some shit. I was losing interest. Details, details. 

Our mission for the night is to go to some scrap metal factory that turns shit to weapons, located out in the boonies. We are simply to fuck the place up so it doesn’t work anymore. Simple shit, nothing more. I ask questions and he gets bitchy, bringing up my dead father that I shot through the fucking chest with a shot gun. Wouldn’t mind doing the same to this Boss 3. Stupid prick. 

We go to get Yunam to help with the whole curse shit. We got upstairs, me and Percy. Little boy is napping…of course. We hear noises from a room, rage induced voices. Hopefully not Boss 1 and 2 having angry sex or some shit. We get closer and hear them arguing that this is a partnership even as Anakah is becoming true alpha, Grey dog. 

Anakah is sticking up for our group saying we are worthy of being Beta’s but Toshiro disagrees the dumb ass hat. Toshiro goes on about it taking others years to become Beta’s and we have only been there for a few days. Anakah sticks by her decision but then Toshiro says it’s just cause she likes us. Then it’s a pissing contest between them about being jealous and shit. 

Percy finally knocks and Toshiro answers and grunts like a caveman with less brains. I of course greet him with ‘What’s up bitch?’ We ask to speak to Anakah, the he slams the door and she opens it again. Percy asks for the money needed for the lifting of the curse. She says as long as we will return it. Like we would let them keep it. I ask for my spear, the one she said she would have given back to me. So get this, she fucking tells me to ask Boss 3. FUCKING REALLY?! Go fucking figure! She’s way too busy dealing with the bloodhounds and shit to keep her word to me. 

Apparently while we were coming back down, Sincere bugs Hazel again about the tournament. She agrees for half the prize after she finishes her drink. Guess she can only see half the situation. Whatever.

I ask about one eye going with us to take the curse off Percy. She says nah, probably still upset about losing the eye. Boo fucking hoo! No need for her anyway. Then I go up to Boss 3 Rajeetbag. Apparently the stupid fuck sold it. I’m this close to pistol whipping his stupid fucking face but yeah can’t do that! How un grey houndly! He asks Sincere about the spear. Sincere is scared of boss 3 apparently. They agree to go to the marketplace after the tournament. I demand the little wimp Sincere to get it back and he starts fucking crying. As much as I love being feared, this is fucking pathetic. 

We come to an agreement and Rajeet gives me the money to get the spear back. They go to the tournament while we go to the library. We arrive at the library and I stand outside while Percy goes in to deal with this cause me showing up would not make it easy. Plus I don’t give a shit. I’m to listen out and make sure Percy doesn’t get dragged out. The usual. 

Percy goes and talks to Petunia and tries to get the curse off, they try it once and Percy attempts to steal and fails miserable, looking much like the fool he is. He goes back and she wants to try again but apparently he’s sick of it and tries to use blue spirit magic to take it and fails. What a loser. 

By this point I go around the back and climb this chimney closed off for their renovation, though it’s rough to climb I make it to the window cause I’m Nazeem and look in to see this shit going on. 

At this point he has failed the blue spirit thing and she screams while throwing books. The other library bitch comes up and asks what’s going on. Percy notices me and just as a book hits his stupid fucking face, he says I’m the one who stole the money and I jump in to end this stupid bullshit, pulling my trusty gun out. I demand they both get to the back and to take the stupid curse off. If she fails I will kill her. 

Apparently it works, dumbass testing his returning stealing skills on me, taking my compass without me knowing. We demand the money back, threateningly, the only way to handle anything. Percy takes the book. I scare the shit out of them and they give me the key to the money and we get it back. Mission success. I threaten them again along with their families for good measure so they don’t try some shit like this again. 

With that finished, we return to the QBF and give the money back then head to the tournament which is held in some stable. People are fighting in this make shift ring, the usual lumbering, big moron type. There is some fancy person in a purple dress with blonde hair. She looks important. 

But yeah two guys are fighting, one very fat and the other muscular when Percy and I show up right when the fat ass of the two knees the other so hard there is some loud ass crunch. The muscular dude goes down. A little boy takes ten fucking minutes to pull the muscular dude away. 

Hazel is told to take to the ring. Rules are simple enough, don’t step out of the circle. Hazel has to fight fat ass now. Reward is money and some nice gloves. 

I decide to threaten Sincere, saying if Hazel loses imma kill him with my arm around him. I keep it there. He trembles but then stiffens saying he believes in Hazel. Uhuh. We shall see. 

The two in the ring circle one another, not doing a damn fucking thing. I thought this was supposed to be a damn fight! Hazel finally provokes the big fucker and he charges at her but she ducks out of the way with ease and he slides out of the circle and bonks his stupid head in the wall. And it’s over. I want my money back. This wasn’t a fight at all. How anticlimactic. I tell Sincere he gets to live another day as pointless that is for him. 

The little boy lifts her arm and says she wins and calls her fury. Cyclops would have been a better fighter name. Libby, the purple lady not lady brings Hazel the trophy and gloves. 

Sincere holds onto the trophy and money with a stupid smile on his face like he did it himself. This fucking idiot is a greyhound. 

Next up is to get my fucking spear back. Hazel asks Sincere about half her cut when we are leaving. I help her out by making Sincere give her more than half, the more he was trying to keep for himself. Kids these days. Sincere cries per the norm and I tell him to shut the fuck up. Parenting 101. 

We leave and arrive at some outside market. Looks like a run down cheap ass place. My spear better be fucking here. I go ask the weapon tent owner about the spear and once again I’m told it’s not where it should be, that she sold it to Libby, purple person. 

Yunam apparently bought some gloves and sold his stolen tomatoes for money. Percy goes and buys a fucking crab at a fish stand. A fucking crab named Fred apparently! Seriously, this is fucking stupid. Hazel buys greaves too before we all leave. 

We make it back to the stable/fight club. Nobody seems to be there. Percy goes into another area and finds Libby and we ask about the spear. At first we can’t find it in the storage room and then Hazel in her old cop ways even with one eye missing notices footsteps leading from the storage room. I’m soo fucking livid at this point considering we STILL HAVEN’T FOUND THE FUCKING SPEAR! I fucking hate this fucking cat and mouse BULLSHIT! 

Hazel follows the footprints and they find two guys hiding behind one of the horses. They see us and one says he can explain everything. Then he tries to run and Hazel clotheslines him and Percy captures him. Other guy hiding asks if they want the spear. Of fucking course I do! For fuck sakes this is such a pain. Everyone is such a fucking moron!

He asks them to let them go. I scare him into giving the spear over which he does willingly all the while nearly pissing his pants no doubt along with his money. I ask for the other guys money too and get it. They ask if we are going to arrest us cause they know Hazel was a cop or some shit. Then we find out they were the ones in the bank robbing it on the same day as us for the spear. Funny how life works out huh? 

Hazel then lets them go, giving them a lesson not to steal again or they have to deal with her. Before they go however, we ask who they were getting the spear for and why. They proclaim themselves the STICKY PAWS and we let them go…seriously what a stupid fucking name. 

They are about to leave with the spear when Libby asks for her money back cause she bought the spear back fair and square. We come to an agreement that Sincere give her back the trophy and it’s square. He gives a sob story about how his friend Rolan was the fighter and his best friend, beating all the big guys and wants the trophy to remember him by. Must have been his bf or some shit. I wasn’t falling for it, just seemed like utter horse shit to me. Memories are there to remember someone by, no need for a trophy. 

Sincere tries to say he will pay Libby back some other way cause he’s a Greyhound. Libby does not fall for it and asks for the trophy and after standing there crying SOME MORE, he hands it off to her. 

Libby tells Hazel that she is welcome to come back and fight cause she has talent unlike Sincerely gets his ass kicked. Yeah of course. I bet if he was on the other side of her, Hazel wouldn’t have won that fight. 

I tell Sincere not to worry we will get him another trophy then walk away laughing maniacally. I’m quite proud of that one. Sincere then says what happened to Yunam. Of course he’s not here anymore. He hopes the boy doesn’t get attacked by the sweepers again-the mask freaks. He says they attack a certain type of people. But Yunam is a kid and that’s all we know about him so who the fuck knows why they attacked him. 

Hazel finds Yunam’s footprints where he had sneaked away from us probably for some inane reason. We follow Cyclops. Percy uses the line I used on Libby when she found me trying to steal the trophy back  in just a dead pan voice. After getting the spear back I was in a good enough mood to accept his stupid ass compliment. 

We follow Hazel who follows the footprints back to the QBF…SHOCKER! Yunam is apparently napping and only woken by Toshiro who tells him its time for his writing lesson. 

Percy gives his crab friend, Fred to Crazy Cooke and he loses his shit and goes to prepare it. Hazel goes to check on Yunam and I get bothered by my druggie that I got to join about drugs. I ask for money and he just goes on about drugs. Literally….this goes on for too long….

I’m fucking tired of writing this bullshit so imma stop here. I’ll leave whoever’s next to write the rest of this crap. I hope you find this report useful! Hah, just kidding! I don’t give a flying fuck! Have an awful day!

#Victubia #Victubia OC #Roll20 #DND #Fate Core

[cryptid-cunt]

ALL THE EVENS

2. Whats goin on between you and the last person you kissed?Well last person i kissed was my friend on the cheeks so, shes my work wife

4.is your last name longer that 6 letters?Actually my last name is EXACTLY 6 letters

6.have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?Yup

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?Well we work together and we give cheek kisses when we leave shift so i think atm its like… 42? 42 cheek kisses :p

10. When is the last tine you saw your sister?I dont have a sister. I have a brother! And its been …. Like 2-3 years

12. Where did you sleep last night?My bed

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?Yup

16. Would you ratger it be sunny or rainy?Rainy

18. Are you wearing jeans, sweatpants, or pajama pants?NO PANTS BITCH

20. Does anyone like you?Probobly, probobly not, idfk. I think my current s/o likes me? Maybe?Oh and @ahtemish

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?No, shes straight as a fucking arrow, but im queer af so idc

24. Have you ever considerd getting a tattoo?I have many, many planned and my first will be in nov/dec. Depends on money

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?The sweetest bluenose pit. Grey fur, bug green eyes, and the cutest wagging tail, her owner runs my block with her every 3-5 days so i got to see her on my way back home from work. Her names bielzabubby.

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?Yup, i wanted him to shut the fuck up about asking me on a date so i kissed him and told him that was the first and last thing he’d ever get from me and he left me alone.

30. Do you like texting? I like using my fb messenger, but no nit via my phines actual texting.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?Yup, i wanted a ceptum a while back but i not want my nips pierced instead

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means alot to you?I mean.. Im not a woman or a man. So.. Idk what my opposite is???? So i have many people who are important to me, men, women, and other*

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?Idk. Probobly complicated and shitty

38. When you say youre sorry do you mean it?80% of the time. The other 20% is me apologizing to customers and my multiple bosses for shit i dont give a fuck about.

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?Which one? I like a few people, if you mean love then thats a whole nother story, i love one person rn and what made me love him is the things we have in common and then a mystery cuz love kinda just… Happend.

42. What is wrong with you right now?Oh. Oh! My dude. My fucking dude!….. ALOT

44. Does anyone disgust you?Alot of celebrities, my father, racists, biggots, oh honey this list is fucking long ok??

46. Are you in a good mood right now?Sure, lets go with that

48. What colour shirt are you wearing?What shirt?

50. Anyone youre giving up on?MyselfIdk probobly

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldnt?YUP

54. Do you care if youre s/o drinks? No not really as long as they arent damaging themselves, like if you wanna drink cool but if youre gonna go off the damn rail imma smack the bottle outchya hand and tell ya to knock it the fuck off

56. Do you like to cuddle?Yes. YeS. YES.

58. Do you get along with girls?I mean, the ones ik yeah? Cis girls, trans girls, questioning girls, anyone who identifyes as a girl/woman i probs get along with as long as youre not a bigoted racist cuntbasket yo

60. What do you carry with you at all times?A small blowtorch

62. Do you think that hou can last in a relationship for over five months?I mean i fuckin hope so?? Its been 11 fucking months with my s/o

64.the person you like kisses you on the forhead, do you find this cute?Bitch GIB TO ME THEM FORHEAD KISSES

66. How old are the last 3 people you kissed?26, 20, and 18

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leapord print?Neither, theyre both fucking ugly unless theyre on said animals

70. Would you rather listen to luke bryan or lil wayn?Fuuuuuucking neither???

72. Whems the last time you had pizza from pizza hut?I dont remember, @ahtemish when the fuck did we last get dat cheesey stuffed crust??

74. What colour are the walls in your room?Idk like… Beige??

76. Do you watch PLL? Used to, stopped after it bored me

78. What are youre initials?TMH

80. Are you from the south?Nope

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?Naw me n her havent seen eachother since we were 7

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?Yes, cheerleading

86. Do you smoke?A variety

88. Is youre phone touchscreen?Yeah

90. Have you ever snuck outta your house?Oh fuck yeah alotta times my dude

92. Have you ever made out in a car?Bitch ive had sex in a cemetary, yes ive fucking made out in a car

94. Are you single or in a relationship?I am currently in a mono relationship

96. Whens the last time you saw fireworks?I cant remember

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?Yup!

100. Are you friends with people on fb that you actually hate?No i delete the ones i hate

102.name your favourite kesha song:I dont have one, i like her music, especially the new things, but i dont have a favourite

104.would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?No thats a bad fucking idea, for one thoes boots are for working and should always be worn with long pants/jeans to avoid leather chaifing, for two who the fuck exceot for fake ass “country” hoes wear cowboy boots with fuckin shorts! I only wore mine(when i had em) for working on my uncles ranch and my nanas ranch. And so did all the other people i saw w em on.

[terminallycheesecake]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I do honestly #dissociation is anyone real

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2? I’m pretty good at getting myself to not freak out with logic, or if all else fails, a good protection charm.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

4. What is your favorite word?

simultaneously 

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

mmmm I’m not sure,, a willow tree?

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

oh god i picked at the skin on my nose last night and now i have a big red scab there its so noticeable

7. What shirt are you wearing?

a black tanktop that says “EVERYTHING HURTS AND IM DYING” 

8. What do you label yourself as?

A transdude, a witchling, a homestuck, a furry, gay, pan, fickin, brother, idk akdlsjf

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark room, but some bright rooms can be good too?

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

honestly I think I fell asleep before then, which is kind of unusual.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

Probably now tbh? 17

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My amazing bf we tell each other this legit every time we open up the same chat i mean.

13. Your worst enemy?

I dont think I really have one? maybe like “my inner critic” or something edgy like that.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

this venty art thing that actually is really aesthetic that my moirail made.

15. Do you like someone?

my moirail, my bf, my friends, all the cats in the world, etc

16. The last song you listened to?

Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

my dad lmao. but when he isn’t home like ew the mess.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

my dad.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

my brother has to fucking clean the fucking toilet ok he pisses fucking everywhere guys.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

fuck idk. alot of people say they really admire my jawline? but i never have thought of it as anything special lskdjf. I think my eyes maybe? 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

taking this as in genitalia lmao if i had a dick for a day. idfk omg

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

im. idk i can type faster than the average person? fuckifiknow

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

eyes. like. in the dark, just seeing a pair of eyes.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

a pizza. but shaped like a sandwhich.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

add it to the collection of money in my wallet that im too afraid to spend until i find the perfect shit online. 

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Canada. Right to my bf’s doorstep, so I can fuckin see him ok. @skelepunny

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

I’ll find out what is most popular and sell it off to people.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Only lgbt++++++++++ no cishets allowed. 

29. What is your favorite expletive?

i want to say fuck just because i say it most, but thats boring so like. 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

onee thing can that like qualify as ONE trashbag filled with all of my favorite posessions? 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

can i erase my dad from my entire memory

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

canada. to my bf. this is all. 

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk can i give that choice to someone who needs it more? I didnt really know anyone well who’s died in my family.

34. What was your last dream about?

I met andrew hussie and gave him a whistle, he called me a filthy kankri fan and that kankri was his least favorite character.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

This question doesnt work because I am not good at anything.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

No. 

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

literally theyre basically all solid black

39. What type of music do you like?

mm alternative- hipstery sort of music

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

i dont like milkshakes? theyre too thicc

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

Arkansas Razorbacks, since basically ur fuckin born into supporting a team 

43. Do you have any scars?

lots and lots

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

A concept artist? I mean I want to persue animation but its just not as big of a desire to me as being like a character designer and concept artist.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

can i just be able to pass as male pl e a  s e

46. Are you reliable?

mm im not sure. I mean most of the time yes, but man you never know when those depressive episodes hit and you cant do fuckin anything

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

are u living w/tav r u happy pls tell me im scare

48. Do you hold grudges?

nah not really. I’m a pretty laid back dude? 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a cat-ferret like a fucking noodle cat thats cute as fuck and idk man

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

every conversation with my moirail

51. Are you a good liar?

to my parents yes, but i cant lie to my friends id feel too guilty.

52. How long could you go without talking?

forever omg i never fucking talk at school anyways.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

i had a bob once when i was like 7 years old. fuck that shit.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

maybe? probably? 

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i can do an english accent,, southern,, a bad mock canadian accent to tease my bf, lksdf

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

a sphinx cat lady for my dnd campaign

58. What would be you dream car?

a vholkswagon bug

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

no i dont, because i did as a kid and my parents made fun of me for it so never again

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yeah

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

not too often but i stumble across that stuff occassionally

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G. because. Greyne. and my given name is rlly special to me.its me.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons by far fuckin fire breathing flying lizards.

64. What do you think about babies?

disgusting worms but sometimes ute as long as im at a far distance and they are happy

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

ehh