#idk im thinking about it again so i wanted to share

[campbyler]

the ppl that complain abt updates are actually so bewildering to me bc im literally 2k words into my fic and it has taken SO LONG 😞 not to mention the fact that no matter how long i wait for your updates, i truly never get bored because i js come on your tumblr everyday to see what you guys have been posting on here and it 100% makes up for the long awaited updates (not that you have anything to make up for anyway) you guys are truly SO incredible for what you do bc i could NEVER 😭 i literally talked to my friend abt ur fic and how the waits are usually long (wasn’t complaining abt it) and she was like “oh my god i could never wait that long for a fic” and i immediately came to your defense and was like “yeah but it’s okay bc the long ass chapters always make up for it and the fact that they post on tumblr almost daily”

prefacing my accidental ramble by saying that if we ever seem disproportionately annoyed at something someone said then it’s definitely because it is not disproportionate to Us!! little comments and things like that add up over time, so it’s rarely about just that one thing someone says and absolutely more of an overarching pattern that gets tiring really fast. and not to dredge everything back up again bc it’s rare that we get someone being super weird and rude outright about longer or delayed update times but we get soooo so many asks or comments etc like the one thea answered earlier which just include little remarks that come off as just passive aggressive and just kind of kill the vibe of getting a really nice message?? very much like “oh i miss when we only had to wait a couple weeks for updates but your fic is so good!” or “this was so good but don’t know how im going to wait months for the next chapter :(“ and just stuff like that which gets pretty frustrating over time, especially when they’re coming from people who blew through a 30k update in like 45 minutes lol. we see so much of this over on twt especially, maybe because we’re not as active there and people are not saying it To Us so they think we don’t see it but there’s also a lot of likeeeeee “i want to start acswy but im Traumatized by authors abandoning their fics so im just waiting until they’re done” or “i want to catch up but the update intervals are so long😭” and that sort of thing which is also just kind of frustrating to see come up over and over again, esp bc sometimes people have actually said that to us? like in our inbox??? for some entirely unknown reason??? like why are you telling us on this blog that you don’t want to read our fic until it’s done. good luck getting through 500k in one sitting then idk what to tell you 🤷🏽‍♀️

anyways all that to say thank you so much for your message of support it’s very much appreciated! sometimes the demands (even if they’re said as a joke) and little side comments that are slipped into really nice messages can def make us feel like our readers see as us people who are putting out a product and not people who are just trying to share a passion project with our little corner of the internet, but we also know that most of you are not like that and especially the people who regularly interact w this blog and send in asks and comments are so lovely! thank you for coming to our defense 🫡

#like if you don’t want to wait so long for an update then maybe try to read a little slower idk #not our fault we spent 2 months writing a chapter you devoured in 45 mins and are now already in our inbox begging for more #like damn girl. sit with it for a moment idk what to tell you #anyways #me: i’ll answer some asks on my lunch break #me: spends 25 minutes answering this ask #asks

[enden-k]

it always makes me really happy to see artists that are more 'fandom-centric' by nature posting their OCs and other things along that line and getting positive feedback, which then in turn causes them to create and post more OC stuff tbh (this is meant 100% genuinely, i apologise if the way i phrased it is a little stilted or odd, i just love seeing non fandom content on my dash)

anyways, feel free to use this ask as a free pass to give us some random tidbits about your OCs and their stories! whatever is swirling around in there that you haven't been about to find a spot to talk about just yet would be great /gen

tbh i always drew my own characters and stories since childhood but started doing fanart when i joined my first big fandom back then (which was bleach in my teenage years); i kept drawing my own things until college between fanart here and there but the moment i made my art blog here i neglected my works more and more and did more fanart instead (for fgo back then). i havent drawn any of my comics again for 4 years or smth but now that my sister got back into hers again she motivated me to pick up my old stories again!!

i think bc ppl were so excited abt my fanart i always knew my own stuff wouldnt get as much reaction so i didnt even try and then just stopped working on it hhjhdfkj but yea, now that my sister gave me motivation and energy and now that i see ppl are actually liking my stuff its smth else aaaa. sry for rambling, i just wanted to clarify that im not fandom-centric by nature, it just happened over the time

anw idk what i should babble abt so uhhh have a fun fact:

not only is this specific story the first proper, planned through one i drew in my teenage years, its also the one that got me in trouble and caused a lot of serious pain bc my adoptive father snooped in my room back then and stole specific pages (like gore or smut scenes, yea i was edgy but also heavily traumatized and in a very bad place) and made up random shit about it to make fun of me, expose me by showing my friends and others and claim outrageous stuff. i tried to remake it later but always stopped with each version and never attempted to revive this story again bc it always filled me with shame and horror knowing he still owns these pages. me redrawing it now is lit the first time in YEARS that i touch it again and it feels very healing, like im seeing my teenage self again drawing this stuff with sm passion and not the person anymore who trampled on it and used it to cause me pain. bc that exact thing was what kept me from working on it again. i just couldnt do it.

(as usual w personal stuff, im just sharing this very dry like facts and i get uncomfortable when people send comfort so ye, reminder to not do that please)

#reply

[kagoutiss]

makes u all look at my favorite OoT development interview (this is the Zelda Dungeon translation of it, there are probably other versions out there)

original japanese interview is here. but anyway yeah i like going thru old interviews from the late 90s/early 00s sometimes because you can find little gems like this? which i think can help give more context for how parts of the games were originally conceptualized, and with this one, the description of Ganondorf’s first appearance as a human being as intentionally neutral, in contrast to his previous appearances as Ganon, presenting his origins as a human containing good & evil, and them having to actually dial back the deviousness of his first voice recordings to better suit him, is. it’s just very very precious to me lol

also the staff having a funny nickname for him based on the name of a cold medicine they had on hand, bc so many of them kept coming down with colds at the time is very cute ahsfjsjfhsk

#not art #ganondorf #ocarina of time #idk im thinking about it again so i wanted to share #if anyone knows of more accurate translations for this feel free to link them! #the ones i’ve seen are pretty consistent but i don’t know enough japanese to really judge this stuff very well

[moeblob]

Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!

I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.

#fe three houses #ferdinand von aegir #discord emotes #i thought long and hard about this bc idk the actual want for emotes i made ages ago but #i still love my son and its his bday ad so i should be nice and share #since i no longer have nitro and can no longer use them myself #the fact i can technically post 30 at once was tempting but #some of them arent living up to my standards and also just might not be easy to use in most contexts #so those im gonna skip on lol #whoever wants 21 aegirglyphics tho have at em #i think i might have posted some before? but only 10 and i dont recall which ones #if you want a secret the last three and the middle on the second row are my favorites to use #i used concernednand (the upper one) so much #the internet concerns me guys it was a valid use every time #debated sharing heartnand but honestly the world could benefit from it imo because gotta spread that love #fun lil trivia i love making emotes and so when i was in a server and people knew me as the ferdinand fan and artist #someone was like why hasnt salmon made a ferdinand emote yet #and im like bc i dont run the server and i cant just demand they add my art #and then a mod was like i didnt wanna put pressure on salmon but i thought about it so i was like bet #and then drew a server exclusive happy ferdinand emote #and that was the start of me somehow being able to have like.... ten emotes in that server #some of them were just me joking and then mods encouraging me #cause i used to use felix for every single art prompt theyd give and one week someone said the prompt was pog #and i just was so upset because dude why would i wanna draw felix for that hes not pog #so a mod was like hey if you make a pog felix emote we ill add it to the emotes here #so i once again was like bet and then posted it and then they really added it lmao #anyway sorry for so many rambles please feel free to use them on discord in whatever server #i cant really expect everyone to credit me but also im not really concerned since i fear people know my nands a mile away

[peachducy]

finally made an animatic ive been wanting to make for a while now...

spoilers for Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy!!

song: Black Hyena - Everything Everything

#idk how much this makes sense if you dont know my personal interpretation of descoles story so. im just gonna summarise it lol #this is about how descole “reanimates” the body of desmond sycamore to use during azran legacy #but as time goes on and because of the people on the bostonius desmond begins to take over once again #by the end desmond reassumes the guise and name of descole but hes no longer just the man who only lives for revenge ...... #ANYWAY #gosh i love this song #i cant stop listening to it thinking about him and i had to share my brainworms in the only way i know how #BLACK HYENA GONNA BIIIITE THE IIIIDIOOOT #professor layton #professor layton spoilers #professor layton and the azran legacy #azran legacy #azran legacy spoilers #jean descole #desmond sycamore #video #aurora azran #<- she's in this enough i want to tag her

[13eyond13]

.

#heres the thing i love and will always love death note and this fandom #but also i feel like at this point im very bored of it #like i dont seek out fics or have new headcanons to share #and trying to reread it again i always stall and lose interest in favour of reading new stuff #BUT i love the fandom so much and find it so homey #so its like where to go from here? #start a new blog thats not just for death note? because i dont want to turn this one into a non dn blog #but i feel like my interests are naturally going elsewhere #i almost want to have a blog more just for my reading in general instead #i know it would be way smaller of a blog probably but idk #i assume it must annoy new followers if they follow me thinking theyll get a lot of DN and then its just #mostly random other stuff #but blogging to people-please rather than bc you actually wanna isnt a great way to go either #i feel guilty about being bored of DN when in reality ive probably sustained my interest in this series 1000x longer than the average bear #p

[bbq-potato-chip]

i can't think about drawing right now I HAVE THINGS TO DO!!!

#sigh...im so busy these days. #old art is on queue right now I have drawn anything in a while <-read: yesterday #anyway i really want to do doodle reqs because I just reached 800 followers #but I dont think I'll able (so so busy) to which is sad. #its so hard...I'm constantly bombarded by hilarious visions and i can do nothing about it #I think im gonna go on break for a bit. (knowing me this probably won't work out but. yeah) #I just. really need to get it together and i think im gonna stop posting for a week or something. i dont know #Its hard because I really wanna celebrate...but I have so much to do #why is literally everything in october I think we should make nothing important happen in october so we can focus our energies on #daily october drawing challenges and halloween. life could be a dream. #anyway. when i get more time (hopefully soon) I'll HOPEFULLY have some halloween art to share. sighhhhhh #theres a lot of things I want to do for this blog that I just dont have the time for at this moment and its killing me #you know that meme where its like “I just need to get through this week” yeah. thats me #anyway idk why i said all of that but. its break time again

[celestial-sapphicss]

home school is frustrating to watch not because the show is bad (i love the show i have so many thoughts) but because despite the wildly different reasons (and stakes and intensity), seeing the education institution systems making students do things without any explanation or logic or reason just because they can and being absolutely unreasonable is very real of them.

#home school #vi.txt #i did not plan to watch this show to think about the horrors of school 💀 #idk man was it just me who has never enjoyed school/college #despite it apparently being the 'best time of life' #i have always hated school/college have always hated exams (in a they give me panic attacks kinda way) #have always hated the rules and have always hated the administration #and have always hated most of the teachers who have so much influence but they are so careless about it 🤷‍♀️ #have always been ​annoying and frustrating and deeply triggering and depressing for me #have never once wanted to live the dorm/hostel life and being made feel left out about it #i was recently talking about how im glad ill never have to go to college or give an exam again because i've finally started working #and he shared the common sentiment of no working is extremely hard and college was better etc etc #and i agree working isn't easy at all in this capatalist world BUT i did not have one moment of peace when i was in school/college #and here atleast i do what i enjoy im not overburdened to memorise i have flexibility i get money and i get weekends!!!! #better among the worst types #anyways watch homeschool

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

ok ok so you know how my life has majorly revolved around my pain since july & how that has been extremely difficult :) well lately I find myself getting up later than I want to & making my bed as badly as I possibly can & getting out of the house after noon when I planned to get out in the morning & walking to the library when it’s sunny & sitting there for hours & the whole time I’m most concerned with writing & that it’s incredible what I’m doing, it’s a little paradise

#you know how I hoped September would be kind to me well it delivered #I actually didn’t realize how mentally poorly I was doing until I got out of it ! #like oooooof it’s like a chronic pain veil #& to be very honest it’s because I’m physically better so I cannot blame myself and I don’t lol bc there will be a time when that happens #<< again #I mean better loosely I just mean I haven’t had 8/10 pain every day for weeks LOLLL #but it’s really quiet and beautiful & im grateful !!! like yay I can still create ! #I’m not thinking abt my pain 95% of the day now it’s probably about 40%? 50? so a lot but I’m literally not every single thought LOL #sometimes it’s even like 20! not even cuz anything is getting better bc it’s not but I will take it even if idk why!!! #(& by nothing is getting better I mean meaningfully better but I have been blessed with some good days lately which I had none #of all summer) #I say this bc every day I wake up and immediately think OH GOD MY PAIN which is so valid bc it’s awful in the morning getting up is like #falling into a black hole Lol but also while that thought is still there I also thought #wow I’m so excited to write today I’m so excited to see what Jeremiah does #HE IS THE NARRATOR OF HEALING #also like SOOO PRIVILEGED to be able to do this like I also wanted to say that! #anyway update for u since I know I have shared the Despair but none of the beauty yet lol #lots of love chronic illness/pain bbs <3

[cloud-somersault]

i was working on chapter 5 and almost started crying????

#constellations fic #idk it's after 9 but like #it hit me when i was writing a particular scene in chapter 5 like #how much has happened...not just to these gay monkeys but like to me personally but mostly #just...how hard MK has worked and how he truly wanted them to be friends again #and i just think about how mk is and who he is and how #friendship is so important to him and he knows how powerful it is #how he turns to his friends for help as soon as he can now #and he's learned not to hide things from them anymore #and he just fully embraces that there are things he cannot do on his own #he needs them...and they need him #and i just got emotional and almost started crying because #wukong and macaque talked!! and they wouldn't have if not for MK #and just how far he's come and how far they've come and how much has happened #it's been such a long journey and now that we're at the end i'm just getting emotional #chapter 5 is like wrapping all this stuff up and i just get a little sobby every time i finish a scene im not okay actually #i love this fic a lot. i learned a lot about myself and my limitations #and just how important writing is to me #and im really glad i wrote this...and that i could share it

[milimeters-morales]

im finally getting ads completely in spanish now including the close/exit/proceed/shop now buttons that are on them ^_^ gonna start a journal soon for it as well!

#not spiderstuff #small rambling and updates feel free to skip or read that #im still really scared to speak it in front of my friends and family bc they'll just make fun of me for trying to learn and being so quiet #BUT. ill get there or ill die #i have a lot of plans so i havent actually been posting much here or reblogging much but i come on here every now and then #and i deleted the app like ages ago to discipline myself anyway. not that u guys asked BUT i just wanted to share! #but yeah. doing work constantly and trying to have fun drawing again (working btw! yay) and writing in free time and exercise with my dog + #for his health and my skin and just overall being healthier ! and less online #in preparation for a shit ton of things about to be thrown my way and idk if ill ever really BE prepared but. yknow thats life #and im going back to counseling and seeing if i can get back on meds to help with issues. i don't think ill be able to tell them everything #bc thats so dangerous rn? i don't trust anybofy like that #but i gotta. fuck this stupid baka human experience <- reference. #i cant beliebve adulthood is so close. like what the hell #i can't use my llittle guy excuse for attacking politicians anymore omg nooo

[termagax]

i think when she leaves itd be something like. "why do u have to leave" "i just do. i cant just be here forever. why do u have to stay" "i just do. i have too much that depends on me." she doesnt care for + resents his notion of duty and his need to live up to his father and he doesnt understand their itch to travel and do/see more or the way they feel like trollmarket is limiting for her. ykwim?

#i think addys need to travel is half a genuine love for it and half a fear that she's only living half a life here #i think that theyd see their state as an opportunity and a freedom while other people talk about her like shes cursed #and so they just crave finding somewhere else because they want to grab onto that other life they feel like they couldve had #and i think they just need time to feel it and do it and see it to be able to be like okay im good now i can go home for a bit #but i think were it not for the circumstances theydve likely never settled down anywhere permanently #theyd just kind of enjoy the wanderer lifestyle and occassionally come back and share stories and catch up #but well. the circumstances. idk if theyd be okay leaving ever again

[lordiavolo]

to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.

when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.

but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.

#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL #ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as #possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch #i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my #peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts #i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont #even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix. #i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a #part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase. #i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know #there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem #for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes #im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times #anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better #than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know? #being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be #that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends) #hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a #good person it is within ur hands i promise u #ok love u goodnight #personal

[ocarinaofpride]

my ffxiv wol has an alluring charm not even emet selch can resist Hes that badass (actual dumbass but its ok) (he actually has major beef with him but when he got to see emet in the past its like getting in his pants was his main goal God please strike him down) i hope you guys like him. everyone loving him is his main schtick okay He is self aware about how much people wanna kiss him. fuck you sephi. get a job. you dont deserve to be the warrior of light

#cloud strife mcdonalds #im sharing on here only for now bc idk if ill truly post this #also. his name is quite literally Sephi Ganon ingame #and im not changing it ever. His name is Sephi #say hi to him #i think its just hilarious to have a oc that everyone wants carnally in universe #and then have him be the most uncharming clumsy motherfucker ever #he constantly dies mid battle and likes just laying there because he doesnt feel like spawning back in from the beginnin #also yes this exact thing happens with other characters for him but i think with emet specifically its a bit more intense #mainly bc of . Yknow. all the shit he does . yeah he hates his ass but He used to be so cute ! its ok to kiss him righ #(IT IS NOT OK THIS GUY NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP) #anyways. ueah #wont ever talk about him again probably ill draw more art of him maybe

[sovonight]

.

#i wanted to find xan's epilogue slides so that i could talk about them and i failed but im talking abt them off my memory anyway #so: how is xan legally allowed to become charname's high priest when he still has the moonblade #like. that's corellon's thing. so what is the process of divorcing himself from that duty #previous conversations have emphasized that chances for him to be free of the moonblade are rare and difficult #so i assume charname as a new deity steps in and does that for him #but even if it's possible & easy: would xan give it up just like that? like he says multiple times that he hates the burden of the sword #but i keep thinking back to that 1 exchange abt secret names where xan explains his secret name literally means promised to the blade #and charname's like 'i prefer xan to your true name and i think so do you; it separates you from your moonblade' #and xan gets really quiet and he's like 'my name was a gift from my father. as was the moonblade' and the conversation instantly ends #like??? the blade is tied up in so much significance. is he really so ready to simp for goddess!charname that his filial piety disappears #like i know that immediately after u save him from bodhi he's like 'i will do whatever you want me to with my life' #and he's outright like 'if you want me to be your high priest when you ascend to godhood i'm 100% down' #but bro just for saving his life?? idk abt anyone else but i save his life on a daily basis. guy is always 2 hits away from death #maybe he's especially awed like 'wow charname took a potentially fatal blow for me' but my guy she does that every damn hour #she's a permanent member of the front line just to keep the aggro off of you. have some more appreciation for her everyday sacrifice #idk it's the way that he's been asking charname not to use her divine powers for 2 full games bc he fears it will consume her #and how he's been sighing longingly and going 'i wish we could have our wedding and a quiet life' #and then. suddenly. he's indifferent to / in full support of the goddess ending?? #like my guy are you aware that you're going to have to share her?? that she'll have other champions besides you?? #that you're never going to truly have her again? that the most you will have of her is her avatar and the visits she makes in your dreams #that you're abandoning the seldarine and might not get to see your parents in the afterlife ever?? #i do love the full devotion thing. i do. but xan's brand of devotion has always come with an asterisk #his and charname's values have to align even Somewhat for his romance to even happen #so what is this? ''if you get far enough in his romance his values no longer matter''? #''feel free to choose whatever ending you want bc at this point he'll just indulge you and go along with it''? #sorry did i romance a fucking reed in the wind?? if i wanted someone that bends to any and all whims xan would be the last person i picked #he's all 'i can't say no to you' now and i'm like *slumps over my desk* i miss when he was contrary about everything #the 'cant say no' thing is even worse if in the underdark you--no i wont get into it #sovo note

[piplupod]

.

#i think it is because i am so desperate and miserable probably #but i just really wish i knew why i am not likeable fjfkdl #i feel like there is something so obvious that im oblivious to somehow. and everyone else sees it and hates it #and i just. cant figure it out #i feel like im one of those hateful bigots who cry abt how nobody likes them and its so obvious why nobody likes them #i hope I'm not that. but maybe i am idk. i cannot figure it out and im just really tired of trying and failing w ppl #fumbling every attempt to make friends #theres ppl being v nice to me on a sideblog where I've been sharing art and stuff and I'm just constantly waiting for me to fuck it up #and then they will realize whatever it is about me that puts everyone off. and i will lose the chances of friendship. #im so scared and tired. i just want to understand what im doing wrong so i can fix it and be better and be likeable #idk i think there is just smth inherently wrong within me. im off putting somehow. there is smth festering at my core maybe #and everyone else can just /sense/ it. and i am trying so hard to be good at socializing and friendships but i somehow fumble it always #i just wish i knew what it was that im doing wrong #or like... if its smth inherent within me I'd also like to know so i can just accept it finally and move on #argh idk this is so pathetic probably but i am just so frustrated w myself tonight #im just constantly waiting for me to somehow mess things up w the nice ppl in my life rn and be left without that again #and im not doing anything to self sabotage even!! im just treading very carefully!! and trying my best to be good!! #but it seems to always go wrong somehow like ppl just... pull away #idk. i feel so terrified that it's so obvious whats wrong w me and im just not seeing it #i keep trying to look but i cannot see what it is so idk !! i keep looking!! i dont understand !!