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glowingbadger · 2 years

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Wanted to take a break from writing to throw something out there for ya'll today. I've had a LOT of people tell me that my dialogue and character writing is strong, and that they struggle with it- so while I am by NO means a professional or expert of any kind, I spent some time really reflecting on how I write a character's "voice" and figured I'd share my thoughts. Idk, hopefully it helps someone out there lol.

I hope you're ready for me to mention Seteth a lot

How I write dialogue and characters V

- Establish/get to know a character's personal dictionary- the words and phrases they're most likely to use based on their experiences. Every word and phrase someone uses was learned or picked up somewhere. To use some examples from FE3H, I tend to see Seteth-Felix-Sylvain as like... the scale of formality lol. Felix is a fascinating case study (I went into detail about him in regards to this topic in this speedpaint video from like a million years ago), his personality makes him blunt and forceful, but his education and high status make him surprisingly eloquent, and these elements combine into his unique voice. As an example I used in my video, there's a reason Felix says "Chivalry begets the worship and glorification of death," and not, "knights look at death like some great goal to chase after." Same sentiment, different phrasing, because his phrasing relates to his personality and upbringing. Meanwhile, Seteth is both old as shit, and in a role of authority, so while he is extremely formal, he also doesn't dance around his message- he has work to do, he needs to communicate his intent clearly and effectively. Sylvain is intensely sociable and likes being liked, so it makes sense that he's developed a casual speaking style because of positive reinforcement from his peers' reactions to him. And as another excellent note- Flayn actually speaks even more formally than Seteth in a lot of cases! Which makes perfect sense, because Seteth has had far more time to acclimate to the modern world than she has! So well done.

- This is maybe just a me thing, so take this for what you will- but I like to have the literal, audible voice in my head when writing a character. If it's hard to imagine the VA saying it, it probably needs to be reworked. This is kind of similar to the super common advice of "read your writing out loud so you'll notice if something sounds weird," which I don't personally do because I live in a tiny city apartment and don't need my college aged neighbors wondering why I'm grumbling "cum for me like a good kitten" in different intonations in the quiet of my home. But it's still valid advice. * sometimes if the character doesn't have a voice actor, I choose the voice of a character I like and that seems like it would fit and just superimpose it mentally to help me with this.

- Quirks and catchphrases can be absolutely lovely- when used with appropriate moderation and a sense of deliberate purpose. IRL, I have a friend who, when we were in college, would quickly rotate his right wrist occasionally as he spoke. Now, nearly a decade later, he doesn't do this anymore, and in fact fidgets a lot less overall. This is because, in college, he was in an extremely challenging biochem program, taking an obscene amount of notes on the daily (leading to him subconsciously flexing his wrist at times to reduce strain), and consuming a legitimately terrifying amount of caffeine per day (making him fidgety). It's a unique quirk, and one I would mention while writing him speaking to someone if he were a character in a story- but there's also a reason and logic behind it that reflects something about the subject. As a fandom example, Axel has his famous "got it memorized" catchphrase in Kingdom Hearts- but I swear I've been driven near madness by overuse of the phrase in fanfic. In-game, there's a logic to when he uses it- when making an important point that needs to be emphasized (ex: telling Sora the name of the leader of the organization, knowing that he only has a small window of time to get this across and make sure it sticks), or making a bold, declarative statement (his big "fuck off, buddy" towards Xemnas at the end of KH3). The phrase doesn't make sense and doesn't align with the character when it's just tossed around because "hey, it's a thing he says sometimes."

- this is kind of just putting a finer point on the above, but please, do not over-do it with the speech quirks, it'll alienate your reader and make the character harder to relate to. Zhongli in Genshin Impact has a formal and methodical way of speaking (same as Seteth and Hubert for my FE folks), but I often see people write him like he's allergic to contractions. A strong character voice is one thing, but Zhongli is actively living in society- if the flow of what he's saying is going to make him harder to communicate with, he'll adjust it. Most people adjust to their environment, even if just in small ways. Dialogue is a balance between expressing the self and reaching the other.

- It can and should be impactful and meaningful when someone breaks the 'rules' of their speech patterns. This is why there's like, a whole subgenre within Seteth smut of: "Seteth says 'fuck' one time." If you've done a good job with all of the other points here, then when you break away from the pattern you've established, it'll work as a signal to the reader, screaming at them "this is important, something new and different is happening!" But if you haven't defined a voice and vocabulary for your character, the audience won't notice or care when that voice changes.

Anyway, this is all I can think of right now, so I hope it helps.

TL;DR: define the types of words and phrases that logically follow from the character's lived experience, and stick to it except for when it means something to break away from it

#writing blog #smut blog #writing advice #dialogue #character writing #i barely know what I'm doing

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suspiriu-m · 4 years

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About Me

Hello! My name is Sal and welcome to my blog, Suspirium! Suspirium is a word that originates from one of my favorite movies, Luca Guadagnino’s 2019 remake of Dario Argento’s classic italian horror movie Suspiria. According to World of Dictionary, Suspirium is a Latin word meaning “Deep breath, sigh”. It’s also the title of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack to the movie produced by Thom Yorke of Radiohead. I’m a huge horror movie buff so expect to see a lot of that sort of content on my blog if I can incorporate it into any of my work. I chose this as the title of my blog because of how well the word fits into the movie, and I just love the way it sounds. Anybody who’s watched the movie will understand, but I won’t go into detail as to not spoil it for anybody who hasn’t yet seen it.

Throughout my highschool years I technically went to two schools. My main and home school was Middletown High School, and my secondary school was Orange Ulster Boces in Florida New York. In high school I was always in media production and art classes. For example, photography, video editing, drawing & painting classes and my favorite was an Elements of Horror class I took my senior year. Horror being my favorite genre, I absolutely had to take a class that’s dove into the origins of classic horror novels, films and short stories. Leading to me finding my favorite classic horror story Dracula by Bram Stoker, and a multitude of stories by H.P. Lovecraft. Continuing on now to college i’m now majoring in Media Production while also still taking some classes in Marketing and Design! I really enjoy both a lot so it’s hard to kind of pick exactly which I want to do, but it’s nice knowing that no matter what path I finally choose I'll still have some experience in the other!

Aside from my education, I love to watch horror movies and read stories in my own free time. Movies in general are a huge hobby of mine and I watch at least 3-4 a week given I have the time. Some of my favaroties of all time concerning classics have got to be the Halloween series, The Evil Dead series and all four of the Scream movies. Other hobbies of mine that take up a huge part of my life and time are video games and music. I have a pretty big record collection that’s continuously growing with at least 80-90 albums and counting. I just recently purchased a few more to add being Sade’s Diamond Life, Whitney Houston’s Whitney and Whitney Houston albums, Lazaretto by Jack White, Texas Sun by Khruangbin & Leon Bridges and Petals for Armor by Hayley Williams. Hopefully my next additions will be What’s Your Pleasure? by Jessie Ware and The Baby by Samia. I’ve been collecting them for years, but especially now since even CD’s are starting to go out of style. I’m the kind of person who still likes to have physical copies of all my music and movies and games so having such big collection is super special to me.

In terms of video games, I try and play as wide of a variety that I can because I believe I can find something I like in any genre. Strategy, shooters, brawlers, online competitive games etc, but I think my favorite style of game is single-player, narrative driven experiences. Most recently I played The Last of Us Part II and was absolutely enthralled with it. I loved the first game so much so getting a sequel was something I was extremely grateful for. I don’t think video games get enough credit for what they do for storytelling. TLOU 1 and 2 are some of my favorite stories that I have experienced in any form of media. The heartbreak, pain, love, fear and excitement those games have succeeded in giving me while just sitting in front of my TV is something no other form of entertainment has brought me. Some of the most touching moments, but also the most excruciating. They also had a queer women front and center throughout the games which is something that isn’t very common in video games so seeing that was really nice to me. Other than The Last of Us, some other solid narrative driven games I’ve played are God of War, Uncharted 1-4, Marvel’s Spider-Man, The Tomb Raider Reboots, Ghost of Tsushima, the Batman Arkham series and Control.

Although story based games are my favorites that doesn’t mean I don’t have a place in my heart for some good old fashioned fun as well! I also really enjoy a lot of the Super Mario and Legend of Zelda games as well. My biggest pet peeve that I have with the gaming industry right now though is Fortnite. I think it’s literally the most annoying game ever created. People spend hundreds and thousands of dollars just to buy skins and weapon packs and I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. The fact that I work at a major video game retailer and constantly have kids running through my store screaming about the damn game at least once a day could also contribute to my hatred. Either way, I want no part and absolutely nothing to do with it.

Going back to queer representation though. I recently watched Pose over the summer. Not only was the show heavily based during the AIDS epidemic in New York City, almost the entirety of the main cast was comprised of Transgender Black women. On prime time television! This is the first show to ever achieve such a feat. Not only was the cast extremely talented, I thought the writing and production of the show as a whole was brilliant. It definitely has its flaws and I could point out a few of them, but I believe all of the good of the show far outweighs the bad. It’s not afraid to tackle extremely real and difficult subjects the Transgender and Black communities have faced in this country and all over the world. It’s so important to see content like this on television as well because EVERYBODY deserves representation. Not only was the cast Trans, but one of the lead writers of the series Janet Mock is also a Black Trans woman! Pose was filled with heartfelt moments that truly had me sobbing in my bed as I watched. I think I actually cried at pretty much every single episode for both seasons. The cast is brilliant, the realism and talent and star power they bring to the show is like nothing that I’ve ever seen before and I’m so glad to be able to see them up on my television. I so badly one day hope that I can be behind the scenes of producing a show of this caliber some day.

While I have yet to help in the production of a show like this, I have had my fair share of of making short films, music videos and even assisting on a friend of mine’s first full length movie that he submitted to festivals. Last year, I had the opportunity to shoot a short horror film with my classmates for our final project. The film was based around a young woman getting trapped at her school in the middle of a blizzard, and slowly beginning to realize that she may not be alone. In a fight for her life, she has to survive till morning while going up against a mysterious killer who lurks the halls of her small town college. Sadly, we didn’t have enough time to produce a full and finalized cut of the film but coming together and working with a few other classmates was still a really fun experience. Not only was I able to play the role of the killer, I aided in audio, music selection, location scouting, props department, shot planning and writing the movie and it was a great time. I also had the pleasure of helping out my friend Matt Vincini in shooting his short film The Cattle Farmer. A horror/thriller film about a boy who is adopted into a family, only to realize that his life might have been planned from the start. It featured a mysterious woodland family who may or may not have had cannibalistic tendencies that included their adopted children. It was a super cool experience to be on a set with a bunch of actors and seeing my friend in action in the role of director. Collaborating on projects like this with friends is always a fun time, even it does get stressful at some points. At one point in the film, one of the characters realizes that the dinner he is currently eating could quite possible be his last meal ever. Which kinda let me to thinking what my last meal would be. After some thinking, I think i’d definitely have to choose my families homemade pasta and meatballs. I know, pretty stereotypical for an Italian family but it’s just so good. We make our own sauce every september and it’s a huge family event. Everybody comes together and one of our houses and it’s literally a whole days worth of work. The best part? At the end of the night, we all have a huge feast and make pasta and meatballs with all of the sauce we just made. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my family and always one of my favorite meals. Not only is it delicious, but also sentimental.

This is all for now! Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading a little bit about me. I could probably keep rambling on for hours but I don’t think that’s the smartest idea. I can’t wait to fill this blog with more content this year and hope to hear from you guys as well! Until then, i’ll be watching more movies and DEFINITELY playing some more games. At this point i’ve been playing the new Marvel’s Avengers video game so, let me get back to kicking some AIM ass!

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purplecloudsinmycoffee · 4 years

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Everyday People

Earlier today, my best friend and I were talking about a particular older friend from our hospital group and how she was always the type to push people to become better. I think I’ve been really lucky that I am surrounded by people that I can learn a lot from. So I felt like making an entry about all these amazing people just because I love them and I need to brag about them (also something to read again when I’m looking back because I’m a sentimental piece of crap).

My hospital group has become sort of a family to me and I relied on them a lot during my clerkship and internship years. The older friend I mentioned was a member of my small group as well. She’s always felt like an older sister. If there was a person that taught me that I should never remain stagnant and should always seek to improve myself, it’s her. She’s also shared so much wisdom from her own life experiences that helped me lot. I talk to her a lot even now. I’d ask her take on difficult decisions and she’d also tell me about the challenges in her marriage.I remember months ago when I told her that I felt vacant and lost and she’d send me books and apps reminding me that it’s my job to get myself out of that pit.

The other female member of our subgroup is this hilarious girl I enjoy spending time with because we just laugh at everything. Corny jokes and puns galore. We share one brain cell when we’re together. She’s so chill and light to be with but also takes her work seriously. I’m happy I still get to work with her sometimes because I miss her and she lives the farthest.

The best friend I keep mentioning in my posts is someone I talk to almost everyday. I consider the friendship I found in her so rare and golden that I am amazed to have met someone who gets and knows me like she does. I talk to her about anything and everything with no fear of judgment. I’ve always admired her silent strength and how she kept herself together after everything life has thrown at her. We always joke about how we’re soulmates cause we’re so in tune with each other and so much on the same wavelength that it’s crazy. I don’t think I would’ve survived if I’ve been through what she’s been through, so I am always in awe of her in that way.

I have another best friend who I’ve been friends with since first year med that I also talk to a lot. She’s really really cool and she takes care of people so well. I think she’s always a bit too hard on herself cause she’s such a hard worker. She’s always been a bit more grounded than I am so talking to her gives me a new perspective. She’s a surgery trainee now so I don’t get to talk to her or spend time with her as much as I used to but I cherish times that I am able to talk to her.I love hearing about her new life and her adventures or even something as mundane as being able to still discuss manga and shows.

If my older female groupmate is my older sis figure, my older brother figure is this other male groupmate. He’s also a drinking buddy and one of my breakfast buddies. What’s so amazing about him is that I can say without any doubt that he’s a genuinely good person. Kind to the core. He’s extremely hilarious as well which makes hanging out and drinking with him fun. My other small group male groupmate is this energetic guy who’s so enthusiastic ALL the time. I can never match his energy tbh and there were times that I clashed with him during work. I really respected him for how hard he works though and I’ve always been jealous about how he always knew what he wanted to achieve in life and where he’s going. The last male groupmate is unique in his way of thinking but everyone loves him because he’s adorable.

The other 2 female members of my group are also really awesome people. I think I share with both of them the love for learning. I love discussing interesting cases with them. We’re all IM nerds so maybe that’s why. One of them is a free spirit who is so entertaining as much as she is frustrating. She always does things her own way and her confidence I always admired. The other one is the top of our batch and she’s such a sweet girl and I’m always so proud of her and her number one fan. I try to check on them every now and then and they’re doing so well in their chosen paths.

If my hospital group are people given to me (through alphabetical grouping) to help me survive my last 2 years in med, my OG med school gang are people I chose after floating around for a bit. I was the only one among my college buddies to go to my med school. So I didn’t really know anyone. Initially, I hung out with the people closest to my seat and I got along with them okay. I socialized a bit, befriending the girl closest to me at the time. She told me she wanted to hang out with this group of people we coincidentally saw at the place we were having lunch at. Initially, I was ok with just the two of us cause she was good company but they seemed like an interesting bunch so I agreed.

I hope they don’t take this against me if they see this (and I’m pretty sure they won’t see this but just to be sure), they weren’t the most socially adept kind but I’ve come to see and appreciate the good things throughout the years of knowing them. We had a lot of fun and the scope of my hobbies and interests definitely expanded because of them.

I’ve talked about the first one (the female best friend from 1st yr med). My other female friends are so different from each other that it’s funny. One of them is rather quiet but can be a bit blunt and has bizarre interests. What I’ve come to love about her is how loyal and generous she is. It was fulfilling to see her gain more friends throughout the years. The other one is a shy girl who’s always a bit unsure of herself. She’s also very sweet but very logical in the way she thinks (and sometimes overthinks) that it’s interesting to see her perspective on things (even if there are times that I disagree). I like hearing her stories about work and when she tells me when she does things that are out of her comfort zone. The last one is the one I’m probably on the same wavelength as (probably because we’re both INFJs? I dunno). I don’t get to talk to her a lot because she kind of comes and goes haha. She’s probably the most mysterious because she doesn’t reveal a lot about herself but I love talking to her about life and random stuff. We kind of have sessions that we talk about anything for a long period of time and then she kind of disappears for a while until the next session. I’ve come to accept that about her.

My two male friends are also very different. One of them I frequently call Bestie or Satan or Susan to annoy him (he’s gotten used to it now that I need to change tactics) is kind of like a go-to person for new content of anime/manga, movies or whatever. He kind of likes a lot of the same things I do. Underneath the bullying and crass behavior, he kind of cares in his own way (even if he tries to deny it). Similar sense of humor so the shows and shit we like are similar. He’s really smart but also really lazy but also really lucky so it balances out. We talk a lot about work these days which is very different from the times we were trying to outshine each other in procrastination back in med school.

The last friend tbh is the most difficult one to talk about. I want to talk about what I liked and miss about this friendship though.He kind of lives in a world of his own. He’s the unconventional type. He’s awkward and often misunderstood (but sometimes he’s so unaware that I have to admit it’s kind of his fault too). He has a lot going on though which I try to understand (try is the keyword here because there were times it’s an active effort). What I really loved though is that with this person I have felt most at ease in a way. Kind of those people that it’s okay not to talk when you’re around them but you’re also comfortable enough to talk about yourself when you wanted to. I’ve always been fascinated and appreciative of how creative he is and how much he knows. We also shared a few common hobbies and he’s a really nice movie buddy. He listens when you talk (but can sometimes zone out but it’s ok) and his sense of humor I also jive with. I can’t claim to fully know him or understand him but I loved spending time with him and trying to get to know him. I was extremely proud and happy when I heard that he got accepted to the training program he wanted.

There’s actually a lot more people and friends who made med school so happy and colorful but this is already a long post and I’ve indulged myself way too much with this. I really just want to be appreciative of all the people who I saw and interacted with everyday for the past few years.I have the time to reflect and see much fun I had and what I learned from them and what they contributed to my life. All this free time is thinking time anyway.

#personal

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childofthetheoi · 5 years

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my religious journey - hellenic polytheism

this is going to start when i started on the hp path because before that it was a MESS yall. but uuuuh here we go!

edit: uh holy shit this really got away from me - i’m really not kidding when i say i could write books about this stuff. there’s a tl;dr at the bottom

here’s an attention-grabbing summary: my path has had a LOT of bumps and pain and sadness but im in a really good place right now!

okay, so my hp path began when i was 16-17 ish (i’m 22 now). i was raised presbyterian and wasn’t personally christian, but i liked the idea of having something to believe in and help guide my life.

my high school years were some of the darkest of my life second only to freshman year of college, and i felt like i was floundering and needed an anchor. i started thinking about religion, but i just Wasn’t Christian, so that wasn’t a path for me. i had dabbled a little in general paganism, doing some things here and there, so i started turning my attention to the theistic forms of paganism. i followed a lot of people who were very open about their faith, and i think that really helped me feel comfortable with taking the first steps - i wasn’t weird for being pagan.

at first, i looked to the kemetism. i had a lot of interest in it as a kid, so i thought that was as good a place as any to start... but nothing ever really clicked for me. i felt pretty bummed about that, because i was just so desperate for SOMETHING (you’ll find this is a common theme here lmao). so i went back to being unsure, until i started to take a hard look at things that felt powerful to me and special. i’m someone who is incredibly drawn to the ocean and the night sky, but also fire in any form. so, i started looking into those things individually. i’m not really sure how, but i eventually ended up reading a bunch on hellenic polytheism - this is around age 17-18.

nothing still quite felt right that i was reading, but i really liked hekate. i started trying to reach out - i built an altar, made offerings, said prayers, the works. i now do think she was there with me, but i was so caught up on needing Big Signs and Religious Moments that i just discouraged myself when that didn’t happen. i stopped working with hekate at age 19 - i was upset, mostly with myself for my own perceived failures. i went back into sadness and desperation, and continued to read about hellenic polytheism and following blogs on tumblr about it. i was frankly jealous of everyone else, because they seemed to have these intense, special relationships with these deities. i think part of my downfall is that i am an extremely skeptical person - and i tend to be a bit dense and miss the little things. i had (and have, at times!) SO much doubt in me, and i just didn’t see the whole religion thing happening for me.

finally, at the end of 2017 (age 19) i met one of my best and most special friends sarah. i honestly don’t remember how i found out she was a hellenic polytheist, but i don’t think it was until 2018? anyway, i asked her a bunch of questions and was just generally excited to actually meet someone IN REAL LIFE who was pagan like me. she is... a very patient person, and answered any question i asked her (and still does - bless you) about her experiences. something that sarah said off-handedly at one point really changed the game for me.

there’s no right way to do or experience religion. WHAT? i had lived my whole life thinking there was One Right Way to do everything, and she crumbled that impression with just one sentiment. i don’t think i’ve ever actually mentioned this to her - but it really opened me up to realizing that things may turn out right for me, and i’d find where i belong in religion.

i spent a lot of 2018 in a lot of pain and upset about not being able to figure out religion, and it all came down to new year’s. i had been talking for months about wanting to find my place, and a deity (or several) to worship and maybe even dedicate myself to. i told her about how much it hurt to feel like i was lost, searching for my anchor. she did a tarot reading for me about my path, and told me about where i was and where i was going. she told me she felt someone extremely excited to meet me, almost like they were outside a window - pointing and jumping in my direction, and going “I CHOOSE THEM! I WANT THEM!” this absolutely flabbergasted me. a deity, excited about meeting me? excited about having me in their followers? surely that couldn’t be right.

i took this experience to heart, and began trying to reach out and soul search about who could be reaching out. i hit a lot of brick walls, but i kept reminding myself that i was strong, and that it would happen with time if i just kept myself open.

and then it happened. i was in my room, doing a general prayer, basically just talking out loud about how badly i wanted to ‘meet’ this deity. then hermes hit me like a brick wall. i feel like this is a universal experience for people who worship hermes, lmao.

i did a ton of research, started directing my prayers at hermes, and i realized that he was in every facet of my life. i felt him when i worked out, i felt him when i was in class, i felt him on the road, i felt him when i was at my lowest points. and, honestly? he really was excited to have me. i had someone on my side.

i’m not sure i can even begin to put how happy, overjoyed, satisfied, and peaceful i feel now that i have been working with hermes, worshipping him, loving him. his presence in my life is honestly one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and i cannot express how thankful i am for him.

TL;DR: i had an extremely bumpy path throughout my religious life, and when i stopped putting pressure on myself to be perfect, i finally came to the new beginning i was looking for.

if you’re curious about any part of my story, or want to know more about my worship with hermes, or even about random things like how i think my christian upbringing affects my current religious path - PLEASE send them my way! i would love nothing more than to share.

i may make another post soon about more specific things - the things i have experienced working with hermes, my particular relationship with him, my doubt, other things like that in various posts. i’d really like to share more in the future, because i know it’s important to me to try and help others religiously - i pray that my stories can help anyone like others have helped me.

i hope you enjoyed reading this, and maybe it brought some kind of new perspective to your worship or your path ♥

#hermes #hermes*#hermesdeity #hellenic polytheist #hellenic polytheism #hellenic pagan #hellenic witch #paganism #theoi worship #theoi #mine

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365daysoftododeku · 5 years

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4th May 2019

Author: CrzA

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Soul of a Song

A favourite song can say a lot about a person. Of course, that may not always be the case. After all, Izuku’s best friend is a bubbly, pink-cheeked girl who will smile in the face of adversity in spite of any troubles she may have, and some of her favourite songs have been screamo metal on more than one occasion. Izuku feels a little bad for her soulmate because of that, but then again, his doesn’t really have it any easier, he thinks. Not when he seems to change favourite songs like he changes pants.

Izuku kind of wonders what that says about him. His taste in music ranges from classical to bubble-gum pop, going through everything in between. Izuku would say that makes him sound diverse in his interests, but his soulmate might just think him indecisive, like he doesn’t really know what he likes and can’t stick with one thing. Given what he knows… that may very well be the case.

While most people he knows hear a different song at least every few years, Izuku has only ever found himself listening to one tune in his head on the occasions that it sneaks its way into his mind through the connection they share. Izuku likes that this strange connection soulmates share lets people hear the other’s preferred version of their favourite song. It makes it more unique, in a sense, that they really get to experience something their soulmate loves the way they love it.

For as long as he can remember, the song in his head has been the same: a lullaby, sung softly by a woman’s gentle voice. It sounds so wonderful, so peaceful, and whenever that song sneaks its way into his mind late at night when he is going to sleep, Izuku is lulled into his dreams by the thought of one day meeting his soulmate and asking them where it comes from.

Their favourite song never changed, not once, not even briefly. Ever since that first time, Izuku has heard that tender lullaby, and he can tell why his soulmate loves it so much. It must be annoying to hear a different song almost every other week when they stayed loyal to that one song for seemingly as long as they have lived.

Sometimes, Izuku feels a little ashamed, though he knows it’s quite silly. He can’t help what he loves, and that goes for everything, not just music. Izuku is someone who wears his heart on his sleeve and gives it away quite easily, in all honesty. Some people might call that foolish, but Izuku likes to live life fully and giving it his all. Keeping emotions bottled up was never something he could do, let alone wanted to. He doesn’t want to hide how he feels, no matter what about.

So, if his favourite songs change along with the winds, then he likes to think that’s just because he has a lot of love to go around for things he finds appealing, beautiful, captivating. Sure, sometimes he questions his tastes, but who doesn’t, really? Well, his soulmate apparently. But that’s something he tries not to dwell on much. He chooses to focus instead on the softness of that lullaby.

If that has always been his soulmate’s favourite song, then they must be someone sentimental as well. Izuku can certainly relate to that, at least. He can only hope that they have more things in common—if this is even one at all, since it’s all just conjecture.

As unusual as his soulmate’s favourite song never changing might be, however, Izuku thinks it might be a good thing. Some people spend their entire lives not really knowing their soulmates given the nature of the bonds between them. A lot of people can have the same song as a favourite, it’s often hard to pinpoint whether someone really is their soulmate or not.

Izuku has known of couples who were sure they were soulmates, only to find out further into their relationship that they had just happened to be obsessed with the same popular song at the time. That often doesn’t break them up, which Izuku thinks is good. Soulmates are somewhat of a strange concept to begin with, but they don’t necessarily mean that these two people should spend the rest of their lives together, romantically anyway.

Although, a small part of Izuku still has that childhood naïveté that longs for someone fated to be with him, so to speak. So what, he’s a bit of a hopeless romantic. That’s not such a bad thing, in his humble opinion, even if Ochako and Kacchan give him a lot of grief for it—for slightly different reasons, but still.

It’s not really a surprise that whenever Izuku has a crush on someone one of the first things he tries to learn is whether they are his soulmate. He isn’t as dense as to throw away a perfectly good thing just because he comes to the conclusion that they aren’t, but he can’t stop himself from asking. A part of him just keeps wondering ‘what if’, asking ‘wouldn’t it be wonderful’. Every single relationship he has been on, Izuku was never able to resist finding out.

Finding out their favourite songs didn’t match with the lullaby in his mind was never disappointing, though. He still liked them, still wanted to be with them, and that wasn’t going to change because the universe had bonded him to someone else. Even when those relationships eventually ended, for one reason or another, Izuku never once thought it had anything to do with them not being soulmates. They were just different people who wanted different things.

Well… somehow that seemed to change between his last few crushes. Izuku’s most recent crush was unlike any of the others.

When Izuku got to college, he wanted to focus on his studies. Medicine wasn’t really an easy career and Izuku had worked too hard getting here to let himself get side-tracked. He knows that when he falls, he tends to fall hard, and that sometimes affects his productivity. It’s somewhat impossible to memorise notes when they’re horribly scribbled with doodles of hearts and someone’s name rather than what he should have been paying attention to in class.

But again, Izuku isn’t one to run away from his feelings, and just because he hadn’t been planning to get into a relationship, that didn’t stop his feeble heart from fluttering at the sight of one of his newest classmates. At first, Izuku had tried to write it off as just simple attraction, after all… he is quite stunning.

As far as Izuku is concerned, Todoroki Shouto is more suited for the title of Adonis than whatever man had been the term’s namesake. His beauty is one unmatched by anyone he has ever met or (he thinks) will ever meet. It’s extremely hard not to stare when faced with a gaze as intense as a summer storm threatening to burst, clouds of gentle grey next to vast bright blue skies, especially when they are framed by white as pure as snow on the right and fiery red on the left. That icy blue stands out even further on a backdrop of mountainous skin, covered in grooves and valleys of reddish clay, sculpted in a way that could only have been tragic.

To add to such a breath-taking face, Todoroki is also tall and well-built, but not obviously so. Izuku trains, he has a noticeable build whenever he bothers to wear anything formfitting. But Todoroki is lean; turtleneck sweaters he seems extremely fond of in winter hug his figure in a way that leaves nothing to the imagination, but it’s subtle. One could almost write him off as lanky if they didn’t pay enough attention, but Izuku has most certainly been paying a lot of it.

Yet as beautiful as Izuku finds him, that is certainly not the extent of his feelings towards Todoroki. At first, Todoroki hadn’t been very friendly, not just to Izuku but really anyone around him. Rudeness is not a trait Izuku finds attractive at all, though he could tell that wasn’t the whole story. There was a tale hidden in those eyes that whispered through his posture, his quiet way of talking, the coldness of his aura.

For every time that Todoroki pushed people away, Izuku could see a sadness behind every gesture, hear a plea in every word. It broke his heart to see someone feeling so lonely yet having only isolation as their defence mechanism against whatever they might fear so deeply. And maybe meddling was ill-advised, but it had always been in Izuku’s nature to want to help people whenever he saw them struggle. That was half the reason he wanted to be a doctor anyway.

It was a slow process, an arduous journey to climb walls built so high they seemed impossible to breach. But kindness goes a long way, it builds bridges to cross entire valleys of distance put between him and the rest of the world.

It started small, as most things do, a word of comfort, an offer of help, a few gentle smiles. A front as cold as ice melted by a caring warmth as, slowly but surely, Izuku chipped away at his defences, gained his trust the best way he knew how. By being there when it looked like he needed someone the most.

It had been a bit of happenstance, that Izuku just so happened to be out for a run the moment Todoroki had stormed out of the university hospital doors with the look of someone ready to fall apart masked as murderous ire. It didn’t really suit him at all.

Izuku had run right into him, neither of them paying enough attention to their surroundings for entirely different reasons. The lullaby had been sounding softly in Izuku’s head and he had become distracted with the soft cadence of the woman’s voice, closing his eyes for just a moment to savour the honey-sweet notes. Todoroki had been half blinded by a rage incited by one who did not deserve the energy it took out of him.

Izuku still likes to call it a twist of fate. That was the first time they truly talked beyond a few words, when Izuku was so flustered with the accident—earning the other a few scrapes when they fell in a tangle of limbs—, that he insisted on making it up to Todoroki somehow.

“If I accept a coffee, will you let it go?” He had caved in exasperation, startled by Izuku’s sudden rambling that, as per usual, didn’t seem to have an end in sight.

A simple coffee turned to a long walk back to the dorm building. Apparently, they were living in the same one and never knew. They talked quietly as they went side by side, slowly closing the initial distance between them until their elbows occasionally brushed together every other step. It was nice, comfortable. Before they knew it, they had talked the night away, shared a few short laughs, a few heartfelt words.

It became a routine, of sorts, tacked on to his runs. Todoroki desperately needed someone to talk to, someone to trust, and Izuku was more than happy to be that person. He learned so much about Todoroki, everything he thought about him proving to be truer than he imagined. His father wanted him to follow in his footsteps to becoming a world-renowned neurosurgeon, but Todoroki’s heart was somewhere else entirely.

He had a way with kids, a gentleness he claims to have only his mother to thank for. Izuku thinks that it’s really all him, but whenever he says as much, Todoroki shrugs it off. Still, that side of him is important, enough to shape his entire career around it, and that he doesn’t deny, at least. Izuku loves that about him, too, the kindness in everything he does whenever he is around children.

No matter what his father tells him, Izuku refuses to believe Todoroki will do anything but what he is meant to. “It’s your decision, isn’t it?”

The smile that had stretched on Todoroki’s lips at the sound of those words is one Izuku will never forget, even if he wanted to. “Yes… Thank you, Midoriya.”

There is no doubt in his mind that Todoroki will make a great Paediatrics Surgeon, whenever he gets far enough to pick his specialty. And if it’s the last thing he does, Izuku will be right there with him in Trauma. If all goes well, anyway…

As they grew closer, they started studying together, quizzing each other for upcoming exams, supporting each other through all-nighters to memorise the entirety of the Human Physiology book, getting addicted to caffeine together; just med school things. But Izuku also found his feelings for Todoroki getting harder to set aside with each day that passed. At this point, Izuku was sure that he had a full-blown case of puppy love.

So, came the usual question as they studied.

“Hey, Todoroki-kun?” A hum was all the answer he got as his friend kept writing down his flash-cards. “What’s your favourite song?”

There was a pause as Todoroki blinked up at him, eyes adjusting to the new plane of vision from staring so closely at the tiny papers. “I don’t have one.” He said simply, quickly returning to his work.

“Oh.”

And that—that was the moment Izuku realised something changed. A cold feeling settled deep in his gut that he still feels right now, as he stares up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. His heart is still squeezing rather painfully in his chest and his eyes have been constantly prickling with the threat of tears. This crushing disappointment is something Izuku had never expected out of his feelings for Todoroki.

Everything just feels so right with him. Each time he thinks of them being together, Izuku can only imagine them being absolutely meant to be. And perhaps that’s a bit selfish, or even a little crazy, but… Something about Todoroki felt special, and he can’t shake that feeling no matter how much he tells himself that it shouldn’t change anything. It hadn’t before.

It would be so stupid to not pursue his feelings because of something as insignificant as Todoroki not being his soulmate and yet… Just thinking of it now stabs him right through the chest, leaving him to bleed openly. He shouldn’t feel this way, he knows. Izuku had been in love before and this never bothered him, so why now? Why did he feel like Todoroki might be the one? Why was his heart so sure that being wrong is so painful?

The next day, Izuku almost considers avoiding Todoroki until he can get over this ache that has burrowed so deeply in his soul. But just one look at those mismatched eyes and he is as lost as he has been since the very first time he found himself staring into their vast depths. As much as it may hurt right now, that gaze is still a comfort, it still holds that same kindness and gentleness. He can’t stay away and he knows that. For all intents and purposes, he knows that he doesn’t want to.

In spite of that ache settling deep in his soul, Izuku returns to business as usual, stuck in a limbo of confusing feelings. Todoroki must notice that something is off, he is keen like that, but he doesn’t pry him for information, just does little things that might lift Izuku’s spirits. He is the kind of person who may value someone’s right to keep to themselves, but he never backs down from helping his friends feel better, no matter what it takes. Stars, Izuku loves that about him too.

Just the fact that Todoroki can ease this strange pain by simply being himself and staying by his side even as he acts a little more aloof than he intends is enough to make him fall that much harder. Izuku takes comfort in their friendship, lets Todoroki’s kindness help him patch up the small tears in his soul. They shouldn’t have happened at all, but Izuku had built foolish expectations.

Todoroki is wonderful and Izuku loves him, no point in trying to make it not so. If fate, or destiny, or whatever it might be, has bonded him to someone else then… Maybe he will meet them down the line. Maybe he will love them and maybe he won’t. Even if he was disappointed—even if he still is—, that shouldn’t tarnish what they have right now. Izuku will be damned before he lets his silly and misguided hopes bring him down.

At least it’s easy to fall back into their routine when their studies don’t really allow much else. Soon enough, Izuku can almost pretend the dull throb in his soul isn’t really there, humming absentmindedly as he taps his pencil on the pages of the book he’s reading in time with the song’s beats. He hardly even notices he’s doing it until Todoroki’s voice jolts him back to reality.

“What is that you’re humming?”

Blood crawls up to Izuku’s cheeks and he clears his throat before apologising. “I’ll stop, didn’t mean to distract you.”

“What? No, that’s not what I—what’s the song?”

Izuku blinks stupidly, confused for some reason. After a couple of heartbeats, Izuku just tells him and Todoroki purses his lips.

“Is… is that your favourite song, by chance?” Todoroki asks, his eyes shining curiously.

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, really. Just that it’s my soulmate’s favourite song.” Todoroki… has a soulmate…

Izuku’s eyes sting dangerously but he just takes a deep breath and pushes through it. “I mean, it’s a fairly popular song at the moment, so that’s not so strange.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Humming in thought, Izuku sets his pencil down, swallowing around the lump that has suddenly formed in his throat. “I guess, yeah. For now.”

“For now?”

“Yeah, I mean… I change favourite songs a lot…” He lets out a nervous chuckle, biting on his bottom lip for a moment. “My soulmate might find it annoying. Maybe they don’t even like the types of music I do and I just keep switching. Sometimes back and forth in the span of a couple of days.” Todoroki keeps staring at him and Izuku shifts awkwardly, wondering if he’s said something wrong and triggering his knee-jerk reaction. “Is that—is that weird? I’ve known people who change their favourite songs often too. But hey, it’s not like I don’t stick to certain songs for longer periods of time too! It’s just rare… and well, I mean, I’ve had some really weird obsessions too. There was this one time I couldn’t stop listening to—” Izuku cuts himself off, realising how embarrassing that particular song actually is. “You know what, never mind.”

“Chick Chick?”

Izuku’s eyes widen. “What.”

“By um… Wang Rang Rolling, if I remember correctly…” Todoroki raises an eyebrow, a corner of his mouth twitching upwards. “That was an interesting week, I must say.”

“Wait. Wait. You—How do you—What are you saying?!”

“Just out of curiosity, did you recently discover a particular band? Been listening to it a lot and changing favourites between them?”

“S-stop! You’re—how do you even—” Izuku stumbles through all of the jumbled sentences in his mind, unable to settle on any.

Suddenly, Todoroki hands him his phone, showing off a playlist with so many songs it’s a bit ridiculous. Izuku’s gaze focuses on the ‘My Soulmate’ as the title, scrolling down the list and finding favourite after favourite of his. His vision blurs and tears start to escape the confines of his eyes, one by one until Izuku he is sure he won’t be able to stop it.

“I suppose that you’re my soulmate, then?”

“You lied to me.” Izuku whispers, his voice raw, that hurt from before coming back with a vengeance.

“What, no—”

“You said—You told me you don’t have a favourite song! Why did you lie to me if you were just going to tell me this anyway?! Is that—is this a joke? Were you just messing with me since I asked you?!” Izuku blurts, outrage tainting his every other emotion.

Todoroki falls back slightly, hurt and confusion ghosting past his features and stabbing Izuku even further. “I don’t have one. I never lied to you, Midoriya.”

“Then why do I hear it in my head? Why have I always heard it in my head for as long as I can remember?!”

The anger ebbs away the longer Todoroki just stares at him at a complete loss, looking like a kicked puppy as Izuku fixes him with a terribly anguished gaze. His expression softens slowly as the realisation dawns on him…

“You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what? Midoriya, I have no idea what you’re—”

When Izuku starts to sing, cringing slightly at his own voice and how off it sounds with the words, Todoroki falls completely silent. Izuku knows he could never do that woman’s rendition justice, but he still tries his best, pausing on the same beats, lowering and raising his tone just the way she had. Recognition begins to shine in those mismatched eyes and Izuku keeps singing for as long as his choked voice allows, trying his best to keep his sobs at bay as not to ruin the soft melody.

“You… I… Where did you hear that?” Todoroki murmurs, crawling closer and reaching for Izuku’s face.

Sniffling, Izuku takes his hand and brings it to his cheek himself. “A woman sings it in my head. It’s soothing and beautiful, and I wish I could faithfully reproduce it for you.”

“That’s…” Todoroki brings his free hand up to cover his mouth, closing his eyes for a moment as he catches his hiccupping breaths. “My mom used to sing that for me… A really long time ago… I can’t believe that you…”

“It’s your favourite song, Todoroki-kun. It always has been.”

Nodding, Todoroki takes both his hands back to hide behind them, his shoulders shaking softly, and Izuku drags himself closer, the betrayal he had felt mere minutes before all but forgotten. Without wasting a single breath, Izuku throws his arms around Todoroki, pulling him into the tightest embrace he can manage in this position. Fingers curl tightly around his shirt after Todoroki buries his face in Izuku’s neck, trembling breaths tickling the column of his throat and making him shiver.

“I’m sorry, I’m… I had forgotten how much I loved hearing her sing that for me…”

Izuku’s heart clenches at the contradicting grief and joy in his words and he does his best to hold his soulmate closer, a swarm of butterflies fluttering within him when it finally starts to sink in that he was right—he was actually right!

“Can you…” Todoroki starts, then trails off until Izuku nudges him to please keep going. “Can you sing it again? Please.”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice. And as he does what Todoroki asked of him, he notes the echo inside his head morphing to match his own voice.

________________________________________________________________

Would you like your work to be featured in the 365 Days of TodoDeku Project? Apply here! (≧∇≦)/

#Story #crzangel #TodoDeku #365DaysofTodoDeku #TodoDeku365 #365 Days of TodoDeku #tddk #Shouto Todoroki #Todoroki Shouto #Izuku Midoriya #Midoriya Izuku #Boku no Hero Academia #BNHA #My Hero Academia #MHA #Todoroki x Midoriya #Shouto x Izuku #TodoIzu #long post

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yourmandevine · 5 years

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Come on, come on, come on: get through it

NOTE: A lot of people who have read this have shared their condolences and well wishes, which is really nice. Some have also asked if there was anything they could do for Sean’s family, which is amazing. If you’re able and feel moved to, there is: There’s a college fund for Winnie. Thanks to everyone who has reached out.

***

One of the best friends I’ll ever have died on November 29, after a fight with cancer. He was 36, and he leaves a wife and a young daughter, all of which is an infuriating sin. I’ve been trying to find a way to sit with that. I’m not sure how well I’ve been doing.

I gave the eulogy at his funeral mass. Whenever I’ve talked to people about that, they have apologized to me, have said they were so sorry that I got asked to do that, that I had to do that. It’s weird: I never looked at it like that.

I feel so lucky that I got to know Sean Enos-Robertson -- to really know him, what he cared about, what he loved, what made him so special. You rarely get to know anybody like that, and when you do, sometimes you don’t wind up liking what you see. That never happened with Sean; he was a font of joy, someone who lived to make the lives of others just a little bit better. His wife asked me if I’d write something down and talk to people about this beautiful, amazing person I was so lucky to know. That wasn’t a burden. It was a privilege. An honor.

And now, a few weeks later, as I’m trying to figure out how to process this, I keep thinking that I’d like to share that.

You guys won’t get to know Sean, which is so, so decidedly your loss. But maybe this lets you know how much he meant to me, to us, and to so many other people, and it makes you think about the people who mean this much to you. And maybe you tell them.

Maybe you tell them while you have the chance, because telling people you care about them, and who they are in your life, and why you love who they are full stop is one of the best things there is, and there’s never a wrong time for it so long as it’s before the end. I got to tell Sean how I felt before he died, and I got to tell his family, and his friends, and his students -- my God, his students -- and now I’m telling you. Sean Enos-Robertson was brilliant, the best, a light in a lot of lives. I miss him, and I love him, and I always will. Here’s why.

***

Hello, everybody. My name is Dan Devine, and I'm a friend of Sean's. I am a friend of Sean's. I'm not going to use the past tense for that; it didn't stop being true last Thursday, and it's never going to.

On behalf of Courtney and Winnie, and of the Robertson and Enos families, I'd like to thank you for being here. In a broad sense, Sean believed in community: in the power of people uniting for a common good. More specifically, Sean believed in love. He loved his family — his wife and daughter, his parents and in-laws, his brother and grandmother. He loved his friends. He loved his students and colleagues. He loved the people he leaned on, and who leaned on him — those of us here today, and many others who couldn't make it, but are sharing their love, and our grief.

Sean was one of my favorite people. He was magnetic. He was invigorating. He was cool as hell.

Sean radiated. He was a candle: someone who lit up and warmed every room he walked into, every person whose life he touched. This ... this is a tough room to light up. So we're going to have to do it together.

Before we do it, though, I want to acknowledge a hard truth I've been sitting with, and that you might be sitting with, too. It is deeply, impossibly unfair that Sean is gone — that he was taken from us so soon. Too soon. Way, way, WAY too soon. That's real, and it's OK to feel that.

In my better moments, though, I can set that aside and make room for gratitude — that Sean walked into my life in the first place, that I got as much time with him as I did, and that I got so much exposure to such a shining example of how to love.

There's a song by Tom Petty that I really love called "Walls." There's a line in the chorus that goes, "You got a heart so big, it could crush this town." That was Sean. Sean loved openly, fearlessly, completely — he hugged like you could win medals for it. He loved with everything he had, with his whole body. And if you don't believe that, then you never saw my man dance.

He loved music, and especially sharing it — I don't think anybody made me more mix CDs to try to put me onto something that I hadn't heard. (I'm pretty sure I have about five different "best of Blur" mixes. Sean really loved Blur.)

youtube

I met Sean at Providence College in the fall of 2000, right near the start of our freshman year. I'd seen him around at meetings for people who wanted to apply for shows on the college radio station, WDOM, but we didn't become friends right away. I know exactly when that happened: October 29, 2000. (I looked it up.)

That night, Mike Doughty, the singer from Soul Coughing, played a solo show at the Met Cafe in downtown Providence. I took the PC shuttle downtown by myself to catch the show, and somewhere around the weird acoustic cover of "Real Love" by Mary J. Blige, I saw that tall, skinny dude again. We awkwardly sidled up to one another to watch the show, and wound up walking back to campus together. We talked about bands and school and the station and whatever else two 18-year-olds talk about, all the way back home, and that was that. From that moment on, that was my man.

We hung out a lot, as evidenced by the staggering number of old photos I've looked through recently in which one or both of us had extremely tragic haircuts, facial hair, or sideburns. We lived together for two wonderful years in an awful apartment in Cranston, R.I.

The first year, we lived with our friend Todd. We had two parking spots for three cars, so one of us would always be blocking somebody in. Whenever it was time for the blocked-in person to get out, he'd ask, "Are you behind me?" And always, every time, Sean would answer, "100 percent, man."

It was this small, dumb thing, but it always made me laugh. Sean was really good at that.

We learned how to be adults together, finishing school and trying to figure out how to pursue our passions. After searching a little, Sean found his. In 2007, he took a job teaching history to middle schoolers at Harlem Academy. He shared with scores of students his belief in civic responsibility, in actively engaging with our nation's past, in interrogating history to learn about how we got where we are and how we might make decisions about our future. He loved teaching, and he was incredible at it. In 2016, the Gilder-Lehrman Institute of American History named him the New York State History Teacher of the Year, and they don't just give that out.

Sean's commitment to his students went beyond the classroom. I got a much clearer picture of that when Courtney sent me a note she received after his passing from one of his students, sharing both condolences and her memory of Mr. Robertson as someone who "would always reach out to me when he thought I needed it." One day, in eighth grade, this student confided in Sean that she thought she wanted to be an artist. She braced for stereotypical adult dismissal, the classic speech about "getting a real job."

Instead, she got a giant smile and an inspiring conversation about Courtney's job as a graphic designer, about that being a real path, and about how she might be able to realize her dream. Courtney invited her to visit her job to see firsthand how it was done, and that it could be done. She's kept that dream throughout high school, and now into college, thanks in part to Sean's willingness to listen, to care, and to open his life to a student in need. I'm willing to bet there are a lot more stories like that.

The student concluded her note with a beautiful sentiment: "I pray that you and Winnie and the rest of Mr. Robertson's family and friends are able to find peace and comfort, and I pray that you are able to think of him and feel peace and joy, because I genuinely think that's what he would want." I think she's exactly right. Sean wanted to lift people's spirits, to lighten their moods; on the day he invited some of us Brooklyn friends over to tell us that his fight was coming to an end, he kept moving back and forth among playlists of incidental music, setting a soundtrack to hum underneath all the laughs and tears and reminiscing. Even then, dude was still DJing.

We learned how to be somebody's partner, and eventually somebody's husband, together. Sean met Courtney in 2002, and as I remember it, he knew very, very quickly that he'd hit the jackpot. I'm sure that they had their share of tough times over the years, especially recently, but they always seemed immensely supportive of one another. Their love, from the outside, always seemed easy, in that way that let you know it was right, secure for the long haul.

Something Sean and I had in common, and that I've always felt grateful for, is that we always knew our magnetic north. Everything in our life oriented around the person we wanted to spend it with, and wherever work or school or whatever tossed us, we could always go back to that, back to our person, and get pointed in the right direction. Courtney was his compass, his best reason for doing everything.

When they were going to get married, Sean asked me to stand up with him as his best man, and to give a toast. I dug that toast out of a box last week, and here's the part that matters: "I think that all guys — the honest ones, at least — will admit that the women in our lives do a lot of the heavy lifting in helping us become decent, valuable men. And this is no exception [...] When Sean called to tell me that he and Courtney had gotten engaged, the first thing I remember thinking is, 'They deserve each other.'"

Their time together deserved a better ending than this. But what came before — the 16 years of knowing this great a love was possible, the nine years of marriage, the two and a half years of Winnie's life? That was exactly what they deserved.

Courtney is one of the strongest, fiercest, most remarkable people I've ever met — a woman who has faced unimaginable challenges and kept putting one foot in front of the other. I can't fathom what today is like for you, Courtney, but I want you to know: we are going to be awesome for you and Winnie right now. And tomorrow, and the next day, and all the days after that. I'm sorry, but you're stuck with us.

We learned how to be fathers together. Sean was there for me when my Siobhan was born, ready to cradle this tiny thing in his arms and envelop us with love, and to look me in my bloodshot, frantic eyes and let me know that I didn't have to be OK, because I was never going to be alone with it all. I wanted to do the same for him when Winnie was born, but Sean never seemed to need it. He was just ready: all open arms and full heart and perfect love.

Winnie is amazing, and brave, and funny, just like her dad. She's one of my favorite people, too, and I ache for her. But I'm also so grateful that there are so many people who will line up to tell her just how fantastic her father was. She will always know how special he was, and how special she was to him, and how much he loved her. We'll make sure of that. It might be the most important thing any of us do once we leave here today.

This hurts. This is hard. It's not supposed to go like this. But we don't get to make these kinds of choices. All we can do is deal with the fallout.

I'd ask you to remember the words of Sean's student: "I pray that you are able to think of him and feel peace and joy." Sean Enos-Robertson spent 36 years doing everything he could to bring peace and joy to everybody he met. Sean loved with his whole soul, and we can do that, too. We can do that for him. Let's be candles. Let's radiate.

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patriotsnet · 3 years

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What Republicans Think Of Trump Now

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/what-republicans-think-of-trump-now/

What Republicans Think Of Trump Now

What Is Happening To The Republicans

Republicans Face ‘Civil War’ Split Over Remaining GOP Loyalty to Trump

In becoming the party of Trump, the G.O.P. confronts the kind of existential crisis that has destroyed American parties in;the past.

Save this story for later.

Content

But, for all the anxiety among Republican leaders, Goldwater prevailed, securing the nomination at the Partys convention, in San Francisco. In his speech to the delegates, he made no pretense of his ideological intent. Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice, he said. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue. Goldwaters crusade failed in November of 1964, when the incumbent, Lyndon Johnson, who had become President a year earlier, after Kennedys assassination, won in a landslide: four hundred and eighty-six to fifty-two votes in the Electoral College. Nevertheless, Goldwaters ascent was a harbinger of the future shape of the Republican Party. He represented an emerging nexus between white conservatives in the West and in the South, where five states voted for him over Johnson.

Opinion: Why Donald Trump May Lose Influence In The Republican Party

Common wisdom holds that former president Donald Trump remains the dominant force within the Republican Party. The truth is that his personal influence and standing are not as powerful as many imagine, and his power is as likely to decline as it is to increase.

Theres no denying that many Republicans still revere Trump. He remains highly popular with GOP voters, and candidates for office still vie for his endorsement. Two recent Politico/Morning Consult polls show how strong he remains. A mid-May poll found that half of Republicans surveyed would vote for Trump in a hypothetical 2024 presidential primary matchup, and another poll released this week shows that 59 percent want Trump to play a major role in the party going forward. Trump is clearly the single most influential figure in the party today.

Other signs point to the gradual erosion of Trumps influence. Candidates may seek his support, but those who fail to get it dont drop out of the race. Trumps endorsement of Alabama Rep. Mo Brooks for his states open Senate seat did not dissuade Katie Britt, a former chief of staff to retiring Sen. Richard C. Shelby, from entering the race on Tuesday. Her three-minute announcement video barely mentions Trump and strikes traditional conservative themes of faith, family and hard work.

Democrats Return The Favor: Republicans Uninformed Or Self

The 429 Democratic voters in our sample returned the favor and raised many of the same themes. Democrats inferred that Republicans must be VERY ill-informed, or that Fox news told me to vote for Republicans.;;Or that Republicans are uneducated and misguided people guided by what the media is feeding them.

Many also attributed votes to individual self-interest whereas GOP voters feel Democrats want free stuff, many Democrats believe Republicans think that I got mine and dont want the libs to take it away, or that some day I will be rich and then I can get the benefits that rich people get now.

Many used the question to express their anger and outrage at the other side.;;Rather than really try to take the position of their opponents, they said things like, I like a dictatorial system of Government, Im a racist, I hate non-whites.;

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Republicans Cant Understand Democrats

Only one in four Republican voters felt that most or almost all Democratic voters sincerely believed they were;voting in the best interests of the country.;;Rather, many Republicans told us that Democratic voters were brainwashed by the propaganda of the mainstream media, or voting solely in their self-interest to preserve undeserved welfare and food stamp benefits.

We asked every Republican in the sample to do their best to imagine that they were a Democrat and sincerely believed that the Democratic Party was best for the country.;;We asked them to explain their support for the Democratic Party as an actual Democratic voter might.;;For example, a 64-year-old strong Republican man from Illinois surmised that Democrats want to help the poor, save Social Security, and tax the rich.;;;

But most had trouble looking at the world through Democratic eyes. Typical was a a 59-year-old Floridian who wrote I dont want to work and I want cradle to grave assistance. In other words, Mommy!;Indeed, roughly one in six Republican voters answered in the persona of a Democratic voter who is motivated free college, free health care, free welfare, and so on.;;They see Democrats as voting in order to get free stuff without having to work for it was extremely common roughly one in six Republican voters used the word free in the their answers, whereas no real Democratic voters in our sample answered this way.;

Also Check: What Major Cities Are Run By Republicans

Taking The Perspective Of Others Proved To Be Really Hard

The divide in the United States is wide, and one indication of that is how difficult our question proved for many thoughtful citizens. A 77-year-old Republican woman from Pennsylvania was typical of the voters who struggled with this question, telling us, This is really hard for me to even try to think like a devilcrat!, I am sorry but I in all honesty cannot answer this question. I cannot even wrap my mind around any reason they would be good for this country.

Similarly, a 53-year-old Republican from Virginia said, I honestly cannot even pretend to be a Democrat and try to come up with anything positive at all, but, I guess they would vote Democrat because they are illegal immigrants and they are promised many benefits to voting for that party. Also, just to follow what others are doing. And third would be just because they hate Trump so much. The picture she paints of the typical Democratic voter being an immigrant, who goes along with their party or simply hates Trump will seem like a strange caricature to most Democratic voters. But her answer seems to lack the animus of many.;;

Democrats struggled just as much as Republicans. A 33-year-old woman from California told said, i really am going to have a hard time doing this but then offered that Republicans are morally right as in values, going to protect us from terrorest and immigrants, going to create jobs.

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Emboldened ‘unchanged’ Trump Looks To Re

Across the party as a whole, an NBC News poll released late last month found, a majority of Republicans considered themselves supporters of the GOP, compared to just 44 percent who supported Trump above all, the first time that has been the case since July 2019.

But mild dissatisfaction with Trump isn’t the same as political courage. Most prominent Republicans have publicly aligned with Trump even as voter support erodes, and they’re buckled in for the long haul. That creates the opening for more traditional Republicans to toy with forming a new party but it’s a slim one.

America Should Deport Illegal Immigrants

Republicans believe that illegal immigrants, no matter the reason they are in this country, should be forcibly removed from the U.S. Although illegal immigrants are often motivated to come to the U.S. by companies who hire them, Republicans generally believe that the focus of the law should be on the illegal immigrants and not on the corporations that hire them.

Read Also: Who Is Winning Democrats Or Republicans

Republicans Think Democrats Always Cheat

The Republican strategy has several sources of motivation, but the most important is a widely shared belief that Democrats in large cities i.e., racial minorities engage in systematic vote fraud, election after election. We win because of our ideas, we lose elections because they cheat us, insisted Senator Lindsey Graham on Fox News last night. The Bush administration pursued phantasmal vote fraud allegations, firing prosecutors for failing to uncover evidence of the schemes Republicans insisted were happening under their noses. In 2008, even a Republican as civic-minded as John McCain accused ACORN, a voter-registration group, of maybe perpetrating one of the greatest frauds in voter history in this country, maybe destroying the fabric of democracy.

The persistent failure to produce evidence of mass-scale vote fraud has not discouraged Republicans from believing in its existence. The failure to expose it merely proves how well-hidden the conspiracy is. Republicans may despair of their chances of proving Trumps vote-fraud charges in open court, but many of them believe his wild lies reflect a deeper truth.

Despite The State Of Our Politics Hope For America Is Rising And So Is Youths Faith In Their Fellow Americans

What GOP Leaders Think of Trump, Then and Now

In the fall of 2017, only 31% of young Americans said they were hopeful about the future of America; 67% were fearful. Nearly four years later, we find that 56% have hope. While the hopefulness of young whites has increased 11 points, from 35% to 46% — the changes in attitudes among young people of color are striking. Whereas only 18% of young Blacks had hope in 2017, today 72% are hopeful . In 2017, 29% of Hispanics called themselves hopeful, today that number is 69% .

By a margin of nearly three-to-one, we found that youth agreed with the sentiment, Americans with different political views from me still want whats best for the country — in total, 50% agreed, 18% disagreed, and 31% were recorded as neutral. In a hopeful sign, no significant difference was recorded between Democrats and Republicans .

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What These Republicans Think About Donald Trump

Michele Gorman U.S.Donald Trump2016 Presidential Campaign2016 Presidential ElectionRepublicans

| We’ve been hearing it for months: Many established Republicans won’t support Donald Trump, who now is the party’s 2016 presidential nominee.

Since May 3, when Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus urged the party to unite behind the real estate tycoon, several prominent Republicans have publicly said they won’t back the New York billionaire in the general election. And some have said they will skip the Republican National Convention, scheduled for July 18 through 21 in Cleveland.

Trump’s inflammatory remarks toward immigrants and women have given pause to some members of the party, while others differ on his policy stances on issues including the economy, foreign affairs and international trade, to name just a few. Meanwhile, a small number of established members of the party have publicly supported the presumptive nominee.

Below is a look at who has said what…so far.

With Trump Off The Ballot Republicans Look To Regain Votes In The Suburbs

Trump’s influence in Ohio even after defeat so far has showed no signs of decline.

In the Ohio legislature, where the GOP controls the agenda with a super-majority, Republicans are looking to enact new restrictions on voting, following Trump’s baseless claims of fraud in the 2020 elections. There have even been proposals to rename a state park after Trump and to honor him with a state holiday. U.S. Senate hopefuls are jockeying to be the most pro-Trump Republican candidate. And the fact that a Cleveland area GOP congressman, Anthony Gonzalez, voted to impeach Trump in January has made him a handy target for Republicans looking to catch Trump’s eye, and maybe an endorsement.

But even at the Licking County GOP gathering, there were a number of opinions about the former president and the role he should play going forward in Republican politics.

The guest speaker at the event was GOP consultant Matt Dole, whose remarks offered a bit of consolation to audience members who may have loved Trump but were far less fond of his Twitter habit.

“We had to defend whatever Donald Trump did on a day in and day out basis,” Dole told his audience of about 50 Republican Party members. He added that they were all for Trump’s policies, “but sometimes his tweets got in the way.”

Republicans wish Trump were still in office, but according to Dole, they are now free to go on offense and focus on attacking the policies of Biden and the Democrats.

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Forty Percent Of Young Americans Expect Their Lives To Be Better As A Result Of The Biden Administration; Many More Feel A Part Of Bidens America Than Trumps

By a margin of 2:1, young Americans expect their lives to become better under the Biden administration, rather than worse ; 25% tell us that they dont expect much of a difference. We found significant differences based on race and ethnicity.

Whites: 30% better, 28% worse

Blacks: 54% better, 4% worse

Hispanics: 51% better, 10% worse

Forty-six percent of young Americans agreed that they feel included in Bidens America, 24% disagreed . With the exception of young people living in rural America, at least a plurality indicated they felt included. This stands in contrast to Trumps America. Forty-eight percent reported that they did not feel included in Trumps America, while 27% indicated that they felt included . The only major subgroup where a plurality or more felt included in Trumps America were rural Americans.;

39% of Whites feel included in Bidens America, 32% do not ; 35% of Whites feel included in Trumps America, 41% do not .

61% of Blacks feel included in Bidens America, 13% do not ; 16% of Blacks feel included in Trumps America, 60% do not .

51% of Hispanics feel included in Bidens America, 12% do not ; 17% of Hispanics feel included in Trumps America, 55% do not .

Have Expressed Reluctance Or Misgivings But Havent Openly Dropped Their Backing

Paul Ryan and John Boehner, the former speakers of the House: Both have expressed their dislike of the president, but have not said whom they will support in November.

John Kelly, a former chief of staff to the president: Mr. Kelly has not said whom he plans to vote for, but did say he wished we had some additional choices.

Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska: She has said that shes grappling with whether to support Mr. Trump in November. She told reporters on Capitol Hill in June: I am struggling with it. I have struggled with it for a long time.

She said: I think right now, as we are all struggling to find ways to express the words that need to be expressed appropriately, questions about who Im going to vote for or not going to vote for, I think, are distracting at the moment. I know people might think thats a dodge, but I think there are important conversations that we need to have as an American people among ourselves about where we are right now.

Mr. Sanford briefly challenged the president in this cycles Republican primary, and said last year that he would support Mr. Trump if the president won the nomination .

That has since changed.

Hes treading on very thin ice, Mr. Sanford said in June, worrying that the president is threatening the stability of the country.

Maggie Haberman contributed reporting.

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Will Not Support Trumps Re

Former President George W. Bush: Although he has not spoken about whom he will vote for in November, people familiar with Mr. Bushs thinking have said it wont be Mr. Trump. Mr. Bush did not endorse him in 2016.

Senator Mitt Romney of Utah: Mr. Romney has long been critical of Mr. Trump, and was the only Republican senator to vote to convict him during his impeachment trial. Mr. Romney is still mulling over whom he will vote for in November he opted for his wife, Ann, four years ago but he is said to be sure it wont be the president.

John Bolton, the former national security adviser: As he rolled out his recently published book, The Room Where It Happened, Mr. Bolton said in multiple interviews that he would not vote for Mr. Trump in November. He added that he would write in the name of a conservative Republican, but that he was not sure which one.

Gov. Phil Scott of Vermont: Mr. Scott has said multiple times this summer that he will not be voting for the president, a position that he also took in 2016. He says he has not yet decided whether or not he will vote for Mr. Biden.

William H. McRaven, a retired four-star Navy admiral: Several Republican admirals and generals have publicly announced they will not support the president. In an interview with The New York Times, Admiral McRaven, who directed the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, said, This fall, its time for new leadership in this country Republican, Democrat or independent.

Most Republicans Still Believe 2020 Election Was Stolen From Trump Poll

May opinion poll finds that 53% of Republicans believe Trump is the true president compared with 3% of Democrats

A majority of Republicans still believe Donald Trump won the 2020 US presidential election and blame his loss to Joe Biden on baseless claims of illegal voting, according to a new Reuters/Ipsos opinion poll.

The 17-19 May national poll found that 53% of Republicans believe Trump, their partys nominee, is the true president now, compared with 3% of Democrats and 25% of all Americans.

About one-quarter of adults falsely believe the 3 November election was tainted by illegal voting, including 56% of Republicans, according to the poll. The figures were roughly the same in a poll that ran from 13-17 November which found that 28% of all Americans and 59% of Republicans felt that way.

Biden, a Democrat, won by more than 7m votes. Dozens of courts rejected Trumps challenges to the results, but Trump and his supporters have persisted in pushing baseless conspiracy theories on conservative news outlets.

US federal and state officials have said repeatedly they have no evidence that votes were compromised or altered during the presidential election, rejecting the unsubstantiated claims of widespread fraud advanced by Trump and many of his supporters. Voter fraud is extremely rare in the US.

Still, 67% of overall respondents say they trust election officials in their town to do their job honestly, including 58% of Republicans, according to the poll.

Also Check: How Many Republicans Are Currently In The Senate

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daddysfavouriteboytoy · 3 years

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Winter Leonard Blackwell

Name: Winter Leonard Blackwell Age: 39 Gender: Male Sexuality: Bisexual Birthday: 29th of September Species: Human Appearance: (Face-claim: Henry Cavill)

Height: 1,93 m Weight: 83 kg Tattoos: a snake on his back Personality: For Winter it's hard to describe his feelings most of the time, so he tends to be unemotional and not very affectionate until he trusts someone enough to talk with them about himself and his life. To outsiders, he is avoidant and sarcastic with loner tendencies. However, he, especially when working, tries to be polite and helpful, always having a friendly smile on his lips when someone enters his office to make them feel welcome and get them to relax a bit. He always has an open ear for other’s problems, especially for gossip and new rumours, despite being very private himself. Therefore it’s not uncommon for Winter to know a lot about someone before they even met. Winter is also extremely hard-working and stays focused on his goals. Patient and determined, he meets his obligations, period. Winter would rather run himself into the ground with extra days and lost sleep than fail to deliver the results he promised. Loyalty is a strong sentiment for him as well. Winter keeps his feet on the ground and makes clear, rational decisions, being actually very calm, relaxed and easygoing. Relationship: Lillith Blackwell - mother; 67 years old; married; doctor Adam Francis Blackwell - father; 70 years old; married; lawyer Amanda Blackwell - late wife; deceased Likes: reptiles, wine and champagne, Edgar Allan Poe and Lovecraft books, AC/DC, gossip, taking long bubble baths, horror movies, attractive people wearing leather, psychology, house plants, the finer things in life Dislikes: having to be nice to rude clients, having nothing to do, fast food, being late/others being late, being disturbed while working, talking about his past, people who take astronomy way too serious, dirty shoes, neon colours, modern art, fruity tea Habits: chewing on the tip of the pencil when concentrated/working, running his hand through his hair when nervous, smoking, drinking Occupation: CEO Position: dominant Top Virgin: No Turn-on: fighting for dominance and winning, bondage, being called master, dirty talk, handcuffs, ice cube play, his partner being blindfold Turn-off: bodily waste, threesomes with another top/sharing, no foreplay, food play, too much vanilla sex Extra:

is addicted to anti-depressants, which also kills his sex drive

is a plant dad

there is always AC/DC playing quietly in the background of his office

owns a kingsnake named King and a young white-lipped python named Queen

Backstory: Winter had a normal childhood, his parents showered him in love whenever they could and paid for everything he ever wanted, after all, he was their only child. So he grew up to be quite spoiled, however, his parents had also great expectations in return. When Winter had to go to middle school he had to study a lot more than most other children due to his parents' expectations. The normally so energetic boy began to spend more time in his room, doing homework, studying and sometimes reading books to pass the time when he was finished with his schoolwork. His best friend and school were the only reasons why he even left the house anymore. However, the girl who was once his closest friend had to move away when their first year of high school started. It seemed like Winter was about to fall into a low-level depression. This was until he met Amanda, the geeky but cute girl who sat next to him during some of their shared lessons. At first, they only ever talked whenever one of them needed to borrow a pen or a piece of paper but soon they realized, they actually had a lot in common. Not long after the two began spending more and more time together and Amanda managed to get Winter out of the house and introduced him to all of her friends and new opportunities. Once again, Winter hung out with other people and pushed school a bit aside, of course still studying but just not as much anymore. Also, a bit of a romance started to develop between Amanda and Winter throughout their last few high school years. Even though it took not quite a year and a lot of help from his friends, Winter eventually asked his crush out, who immediately accepted and told him, it took him long enough to make the first move. After high school, Winter went off to college while Amanda started working in their hometown. They were now six hours away from each other. Nevertheless, neither his girlfriend nor he broke things off after their senior year, the two young adults had a long-distance relationship in which one of them always visited the other when they had time for a few days. Obviously, it was complicated for the both of them but they surprisingly managed to keep a steady relationship, at least, until Amanda told her boyfriend that she was diagnosed with lung cancer during one of her lover’s visits. Even though Winter didn’t graduate from college at that time, he just couldn’t leave his girlfriend alone during such a hard time. The young man was certain, he had learned enough to find a job, so he moved back to her hometown in which his girlfriend was waiting for him. The two moved in together and Winter began working for the town’s newspaper-agency as a journalist. Life was good and everything went fine at first, so Winter proposed to Amanda, obviously, she said yes. The wedding was soon because the couple didn’t want to waste any more time. They were certain to be soulmates. The event was big with all their friends, family and relatives were invited. The two of them were official husband and wife now and as happy as never before. That was until Amanda’s condition worsened over the next few years. She soon couldn’t work anymore and even house chores became a burden for her to do. The newly-wed couple suffered a lot during that time. Eventually, she wasn’t even allowed to stay home and was hospitalized. Despite his wife’s condition, Winter tried to continue working and visited his love whenever he could. Unfortunately, not even a year later, Amanda died. After his wife’s death, Winter had to see a therapist for some time, who helped him to live with this pain in her heart. At the same time, he picked up college where he left off all these years ago to keep himself busy. He managed to finish college one year early and got a really high management position soon afterwards. Although his wife's death was years ago, he still hadn't any other purpose in life besides his work, so he got promotion after promotion until he eventually even took over the company after the former CEO, one of his few friends retired. Despite him wanting to move on, he still was incredibly loyal to his late wife.

Starter

#oc #gay oc #homosexual oc #male oc #bi oc #bisexual oc #daddy oc

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athcnvs · 7 years

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☾✧.° VILLAS TASK #004: FAMILY !

though far from perfect, the chae family was in no way tearing apart at the seams. athena found herself to be relatively comfortable whenever she was around them, able to be her talkative, sometimes awkward self, even with her parents. her immediate family would often have movie nights at home together, renting a dvd from redbox or choosing something from netflix, watching it using their own little projector setup. it was a bit extra. they’d sometimes even invite graham over for the fun whenever he was available, and when brandon was still an active part of athena’s life, he would be there too. it’s kind of funny because her mom, dad, and sister would always gossip about athena while she was present, casually arguing over whether graham or brandon was better (her mother and sister preferred the former, her father the latter). she would always turn a shade of red, prompting more teasing from them. their family dynamic isn’t one where they tell each other everything, but they’re not out-of-the-loop with each other, either. it was a balance especially with the children, the girls having a vague idea of what they were both comfortable with sharing to their parents at the dinner table, which meant nothing too deep. yeah, athena did choose a college on the opposite side of the country to be apart from them, but it didn’t mean that she hated her family. she just sometimes felt suffocated by the concern they had for her, you feel? a girl needs to breathe. make her own decisions without the burdening thoughts of how her family would react if they found out. they’re chill, though. they have a group chat, and athena often sends memes.

minhyuk chae ( 채민혁 ) — father

age: fifty-one

occupation: chemical engineer

place of birth: daegu, south korea

hometown: daegu, south korea

current residence: seattle, washington

athena’s father was never one for many words, the quieter, more reserved parent of the two (though not by a lot). growing up, he always prepared a lunch for his daughters before he left for work and them for school. tteokbokki was a frequent member of the menu, especially since athena could never get tired of it. every now and then, he’d take the girls out to a museum, and it was safe to say that the museum of pop culture was athena’s absolute favorite. he eventually bought them a membership there. he was also the one who enrolled athena in piano lessons, to which she was incredibly thankful because it sparked her initial interest in music. as she grew up with a passion for playing strings, he wholeheartedly supported her hobby, only wanting the best for his eldest daughter. but that was exactly the thing. coming from a lower-middle class family in south korea that tried to support a household of seven, all he ever dreamed of immigrating to america was for his children to have the best. so when athena opened up about wanting to pursue a career in music, it was obvious that he was incredibly nervous. he didn’t want her to struggle to make ends meet if she fails to get where she wants to be without a backup plan. he wanted her to strive for something practical. something with more stability. it was hard for him to tell her that he wouldn’t financially support a major in music. it hurt him to tell her that, but he thought it was for the best. of course, athena tried to see it from his point of view, and she eventually complied with some hesitation. he just wants her to reach her full potential; he sees a lot of it in her. their relationship now isn’t as close as it was before, not necessarily because of his lack of support for a music-related career, but due to athena growing up and becoming more independent. once she left for college, he was no longer able to make her lunches. she didn’t need him for help with science homework. his little girl didn’t need him as much as she used to, save for him texting her about job opportunities in the computer science field because she’s out here being unemployed. though a bittersweet feeling, minhyuk only wishes her well. the words “i love you” have never left his mouth when it came to his daughters, but it’s no need. athena already knows.

soojin chae nee bak ( 채수진 ) — mother

age: fourty-eight

occupation: data analyst for amazon, inc.

place of birth: seoul, south korea

hometown: seoul, south korea

current residence: seattle, washington

soojin chae loves replying to athena’s text messages using imessage stickers or a series of emojis. she’s that mom. the two of them could probably hold a conversation using solely stickers (from soojin) and reaction images (from athena). her mother was more into greek mythology than her father was, though it was partially a major bonding factor that brought the couple together. to go along with the daily lunches her husband made for their daughters, soojin would insert pieces of a myth into their bags, starting it off in the beginning of the week and ending the story by friday. athena would occasionally get impatient and look up the entire myth in a book instead of waiting for the next part. however, the stories eventually became more infrequent as the girls got older. her mom simply became too busy to search for new material, guilty of repeating some as the years passed. she wasn’t an extremely strict mother, but that was mostly because athena never really did anything to push the boundaries. you know those parents on facebook who always post pictures of their families no matter how minor the importance of the event? yeah, that’s her mom. athena’s timeline review is filled with a bunch of pictures she finds unflattering, not daring to add it to her timeline. she really resented the amount of times her mom would ask her to pose in front of a random wall or request that a waiter take their picture at a restaurant they’ve been to several times before, but it became routine after a while, her audible whining more of a habit than actual distaste. during the times athena was away from seattle for school, it felt weird not having an iphone camera in her face so often. as much as she would hate to admit it, she also picked up the practice of taking pictures in remotely interesting places. although soojin came from a wealthier family than her husband, she still harbored the same wishes for her daughters, so she was quick to back him up when he expressed his concerns toward athena’s future. that didn’t mean she didn’t enjoy the moments when her daughter would lounge around in their living room, practicing her music for jazz band. if anything, she relished in the sound, filled with pride for her talented daughter. now that athena’s pretty much left the nest, soojin acknowledges that she’s becoming an independent woman, but that sure doesn’t stop her from checking in every so often, making sure she’s doing alright.

artemis chae — younger sister

fc: lee suji

age: seventeen

occupation: student (high school senior)

place of birth: seattle, washington

hometown: seattle, washington

current residence: seattle, washington

snapchat streak: 329

some siblings tend to take interest in the hobbies their older siblings participate in, but not artemis chae. to call athena the music girl would make artemis the sports girl. currently captain of her school’s tennis team, she’s athletically everything athena is not. however, she sometimes feels like sports are the only thing she can surpass her older sister in. it’s the good ol’ feeling of living in another person’s shadow. artemis wonders if she invested herself so much in athletics only because athena never did. growing up, she typically had the same teachers her sister previously had, which automatically set a standard for her in their minds. since athena was so smart, so behaved, artemis should be the same, right? the constant pressure of fitting the mold of her sister weighed on her quite heavily, even her own parents comparing the two from time to time. she didn’t take to things as quickly. she always got distracted in class, her mind wandering elsewhere as she doodled in her notebook. however, it was difficult to resent athena. she would never say it to her face, but the girl is everything she could ask for in an older sister. even though she finds her to be embarrassing sometimes, artemis wouldn’t want to change a thing. whatever the two of them wouldn’t share with their parents, they would share with each other, whether it be about boys or complaints about their insecurities and fears in a somewhat lighthearted manner. nowadays it’s less of the latter. athena values artemis’ opinions a lot, trusting each and every song, movie, and drama recommendation that is sent her way. they’ve got a lot of banter, as one can see through the comments artemis leaves on her sister’s instagram posts. they rarely ever get into real arguments, but when they do, boy, can it go too far. if there’s something the two have in common, it’s being stubborn. additionally, artemis is definitely more of a rule breaker than her sister is, acting before thinking, doing most things before thinking, really. athena loves her anyway, though. she feels a sense of protectiveness over her little sister and is willing to throw fists at anyone that tries to hurt her. the sentiment is also the same vice versa. when artemis found out about the whole brandon situation, she was ready to square up. when she left for penn state, athena knew that she was going to miss artemis most of all. there was something comforting about having her around, even with her shenanigans. the moment athena got her license was a revolutionary point for them because it meant that they could go on sister adventures together, which usually meant going downtown. probably getting boba. if someone hears athena talking loudly in her room, she’s most likely on facetime with artemis. they’re just really close, man. some siblings tend to avoid each other in public spaces, but not these two! oh, yeah, there’s also artemis’ dog penelope, but she doesn’t trust athena with her, lowkey. she often teases her about the fact that she has her own pet while athena’s only ever had a betta fish that died shortly after two months. athena threatens to dognap penny.

daehyun kang — first cousin

fc: yoon dowoon

age: twenty-three

occupation: front-end software engineer for ign

place of birth: seoul, south korea

hometown: seattle, washington

current residence: san francisco, california

snapchat streak: 238

the kang family immigrating to seattle when daehyun was four and seulbi was two, athena can’t recall a time without them being around, having lived fifteen minutes away from them practically her entire life. daehyun is the eldest out of the cousins on athena’s mother’s side, and a lot of athena’s interests can be traced back to him. much like athena, he dabbled in music, a part of his high school’s drumline, and before he went off to college, he would occasionally appear in athena’s youtube covers, having a decent singing voice himself. their shared love of music only strengthened their bond, and it was actually dae who had introduced athena to the music of pat benatar and fleetwood mac, for which she is incredibly thankful. they currently have a collaborative playlist on spotify with a plethora of song recommendations for each other. visiting each other’s houses often as they grew up — artemis and seulbi present as well — athena couldn’t help but think of dae as an older brother figure, and she anxiously awaited the next time she was able to hang out with her cousins. also, dae was the person who got athena into video games. she remembers the days when they would sit around and play sonic heroes together, both of their sisters spectating in amusement as their teams would travel through each of the three courses. when they got older, they would expand their horizons, trying out first-person shooters and narrative games. the two of them hold a special attachment to the animal crossing games, though, visiting each other’s towns whenever the got the chance to. during the earlier months of overwatch, the two would play together, dae starting off as a junkrat main, but he got bored of the game after a while, so he stopped playing while athena kept on with it. if there’s one thing that athena gets tired of when it comes to dae, it’s the fact that people have tried to befriend her solely to get close to him. they didn’t even go to the same schools, but through means of the internet and social media, she would occasionally get facebook messages that start off introductory then eventually lead into the topic of her cousin, who one would consider to be swooned over by many. athena makes fun of him for it; it’s hilarious to her as long as she isn’t involved. when he left for university out of the state, she was no doubt devastated. who was going to be there to watch out for her like an older brother would? thoroughly evaluate each one of the boys she associated herself with (which was more endearing to her than annoying and invasive, actually)? despite the fact that they rarely see each other in person anymore, the sense of friendship and family they have has not withered. he even joked that he would fly out to hawaii with his girlfriend to visit her at the villa. athena thinks his girlfriend is really shallow, though, so it’s kind of awkward whenever he brings her up because she doesn’t like her all that much. she thinks she’s with him for his money, an accusation to which dae laughs at in amusement. oh, well.

seulbi kang — first cousin

fc: seol in-ah

age: twenty-one

occupation: student (uc berkeley fourth year)

place of birth: seoul, south korea

hometown: seattle, washington

current residence: berkeley, california

snapchat streak: 87 (bee is a heathen who breaks 200+ streaks, unfortunately)

athena only being a year apart from both of her cousins — at least, the two she communicates with regularly who don’t live in south korea — it’s no surprise that they have their own special bond. their own cousin squad, one could say, which consisted of athena, artemis, daehyun, and seulbi. bee had always been closer to artemis than athena, but they’re still close nonetheless. a huge science nerd, even competing with her high school’s science bowl and science olympiad team, she has provided athena with a lot of the scientific facts stored in her brain over the past several years. the two of them are also foodie buddies, the pair often driving out to different restaurants in the time before athena left to go to penn state. if someone was to analyze the messages they send to each other, fifty percent of them would probably be tasty or insider food videos. the worst thing is that fifty percent of those messages are sent between the hours of 11pm to 3am, leaving the other upset about having late-night cravings that cannot be satisfied. athena is oblivious to this, but seulbi kind of envies the relationship she has with daehyun because it feels like he’s closer to her than he is his own younger sister. there’s even been times when people have confused athena for his sister and bee for his cousin, which did nothing to help the situation at all. however, similar to the way artemis has to deal with her older sister’s shadow, it’s hard for bee to resent athena for it because she’s been nothing but kind to her. calling each other nerds doesn’t count as malicious behavior. it’s just a part of their dynamic, teasing each other over little things something they’re far too familiar with. athena finds bee’s company to be extremely valuable, and she admires her intellect and work ethic. there have been times in high school where she’s turned down plans to eat with athena because she was immersing herself in schoolwork. of course, she got upset whenever that happened, but she was mostly just in awe of the self control. after seulbi started college at berkeley, though, she began to party a lot, probably a result of her newfound freedom, and she would tell athena stories about her interactions and experiences. the replies would usually be in all capital letters, a string of “oh my god”s followed by a much calmer “wow,” lowercase. the shift in character from a goody-two-shoes to a more impulsive, reckless partier is still something she has trouble wrapping her mind around, and bee has entrusted athena not to tell any of their parents about what she’s been doing in college. or how she barely passed her midterm because of sleep deprivation causing stupid mistakes. of course, she’d never tell, but she still worries about bee. a lot. she even makes her feel like more of a mom than she does with artemis sometimes. wild.

#villatasks004 #☾✧.° — musings !#☾✧.° — tasks !#i was gna do somethin else extra #but im fuckin exhausted ! so maybe in another edit someday #lmao nina n athenas dads have the same name #IM SORRY THIS IS LATE #WE ALREADY KNOW I DONT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF TIME MANAGEMENT #yeah i guess athena takes after her mom #dorkiness?? hereditary #the paragraphs have no sense of flow im sry sdljfh my mind is everywhere

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cindyjane · 7 years

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year 2 teaching diary #4: peace

Today during our professional development meeting, all of the staff got into smaller groups to discuss equity, race, and identity and reflect on how these things influenced us in our classroom. One of the questions was: what emotions come to mind when you think about your classroom and students this year? We all sat in a circle, and we held the space open for 2 minutes for each person to speak or remain silent for that designated time.

As I was thinking about all the other things in my life, all the frustration and lack of stability, the loneliness, the exhaustion from feeling burdened by others’ emotions and needs above my own... I realized that I felt the most at peace in my own classroom with my students. As I shared during my 2 minutes, I talked about feeling really content and confident as a 2nd year teacher, about feeling loved just for who I am by my students, about feeling free to be exactly who I am and speaking honestly without any fear in my classroom... and it left me wondering, why didn’t I feel this way around the adults in the school building? Perhaps even worse, why didn’t I feel this way around the other people in my life?

I’m still tired when I wake up in the mornings, and I’m still tired when I finish a day’s work, but it feels good. I feel accomplished and oddly full. Things have been going pretty smoothly in my classroom (fingers crossed that things stay that way), and my conversations with my students every day have been so fulfilling. Reading their journal entries has been so fulfilling. Working with them on their personal statements has been so fulfilling. Laughing and learning with them has been so fulfilling.

I shared with my colleagues today in my 2 minutes that I felt safe in my classroom, which felt like an odd thing for me to say because I'm so much more accustomed to thinking about whether my students felt safe and protected in my classroom. But I feel like I’m able to appreciate having my own room, my own safe space, so much more this year because last year was all about shuffling around with my bin of papers and handouts into different classrooms to teach my classes, sharing a classroom space with another (content) teacher who seemed to have more of a stake on that classroom space than I did, grading papers in my dimly lit corner of this closet space that I shared with my other colleague who also didn’t have his own classroom, etc. This year, my classroom has windows (what a difference it makes to have natural light coming into my room!) and a mobile whiteboard that acts as a makeshift SMART Board. I get to have my own phone and teacher desk and new tables and chairs... my own wall space to put up student work... the joys of being able to call this classroom my own! I love the memories created in my classroom and the positive energy that comes rolling in with my students, whether they bounce right in because they get to sit next to people they like or they saunter in slowly about 30 seconds after the bell rings because they don’t want to help their classmates put the chairs down. So many personalities, so many stories and experiences that the students come in with... and I love it all. I feel safe and confident enough to be able to hold that same space for my students, that hopefully they feel safe and confident with me in my classroom to work, laugh, and learn with me and each other.

Speaking of memories, here are some of my fondest memories from the past two weeks with my students:

Last Friday advisory, I wanted to play the game Electricity with my students. When I was first planning advisory that day, the idea of playing Electricity seemed extremely childish, but I really just wanted them to relax and let loose a bit. I separated the class into 2 teams, told them to sit on the floor in lines in their teams, and taught them how to pass down “electricity” by squeezing their classmate’s hand on one side after they feel the squeeze from their other classmate’s hand. The two people in the front eagerly watched me flip the coin, excitedly squeezing their partner’s hand when the coin showed up as heads, eyes following the “electricity” down the line until their classmates at the end felt the squeeze and fought to grab the roll of tape first as the prize for their team. It was so silly and joyful! It was my first time hearing my students laugh so much. Students almost didn’t want to leave when the bell rang. I didn’t want their laughter to end.

One of my students likes to bring a bag of chips to share with his tablemates in my class (secretly, they’re my favorite table... seeing an Arabic speaker, Chinese speaker, and Spanish speaker come up with handshakes and inside jokes all in English since that’s the only language they have in common, it’s like magic!). One day, while working on his opening, the student looked at me and said, “Miss! You want some Takis?” Although I was tempted to take some, I said, “Thanks, but I’ll take some after class!” He just nodded and went right back to his opening. I completely forgot about the Takis until at the end of class, while I was sorting all my papers, I saw the bag of Takis rolled up and held down to my desk by my tape dispenser. I couldn’t help but laugh a little -- my student remembered to leave some for me without telling me, even though I had completely forgotten about that exchange! It was such a small thing but the sweetest gesture. Two days later, the student asked me if I wanted Takis again, and I said, “After class!” He just smiled and said, “Ok Miss, I will save some for you!” And of course, at the end of that class, there was another bag of Takis placed on my desk, saved specifically for me.

Students just took their pictures Monday morning for picture day. Of course, the late students who didn’t make it to first period missed their pictures. Towards the end of my class, admin made an announcement that students who missed their pictures that morning could go to the auditorium to take their pictures right after school. William raised his hand and asked, “Miss, what if you weren’t here today?” I smiled, knowing that his girlfriend Andrea (who was also in my class - WHO decided to put them in the same class????) was absent that day. “Why do you ask, William? Clearly you’re here right now. Is it for Andrea? How cute!” He blushed, and the whole class laughed. It was such a sweet moment. I’m glad he was a good sport about it.

I meet regularly after school on Mondays with the leaders of the Chinese Culture Club to plan upcoming club events. Our next event would be the mid-autumn festival celebration, and students wanted to make paper lanterns. I pulled out the plastic cups, red construction paper, tape, markers, scissors, etc., all that I had in my arts and crafts storage space, and we all just sat there and experimented with making paper lanterns together. I opened Spotify and played my Chinese playlist for my students, and they were so shocked. Merry said, “Wow, Miss, you know more new songs than I do!” Hailey said, “And here are also some old songs that my mom listens to!” It was so sweet how impressed they were with my song choices. They then began asking me about majors and colleges, and as we started talking about my majoring in psychology, Merry asked me, “Miss, is it true that you can read people well if you study psychology? Like you have a gift for reading others?” I laughed and said, “I’d like to believe that I do, but I don’t know if that’s a psychology thing.” She said, “Okay read me! What do you think about me so far after only knowing me for a short period of time? Be honest, Miss!” I shared what I noticed about her: her sincere heart, her desire to work hard and seek after her goals and dreams, but also her reluctance to share with others her pain and suffering, her need to always put on a smile for other people. She seemed surprised. Hailey said, “Me too Miss! What have you gotten to know about me in such a short period of time?” Anyway, this went on for some time with the Chinese Culture Club leaders, and it felt good. I had so much grading to do but I got to try out different paper lantern styles with my students, and we all got to chat and share about our lives. It felt real. I wasn’t just talking to my students; I was talking to real people with real feelings and experiences and thoughts and dreams...

I know I tend to get overly sentimental when thinking about teaching and my students, but it’s memories like these that remind me about the joy that comes from small, tender moments in everyday life. In everyday conversations. In everyday happenings.

The peace that comes from knowing you have a place where people care for you and care to know you. The peace that comes from relationship building and happy moments. The peace that things will be okay here in this classroom space... even when things outside aren’t okay.

The peace that comes from having a safe haven, for me and my students. I’m thankful for this peace that hasn’t come easily or readily to me in the last few years. I hope this peace that has covered me so far will also cover my students when they’re in my classroom. I hope this peace stays.

#teachingdiary

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mrtroy · 5 years

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Someday He Will

I don’t do a ton on social media these days. I read some things on Twitter, and use it as a source to find news I care about. Other than that, I don’t do a whole lot.

The other day I was taking a cursory glance through Facebook and Instagram and as you may have also experienced, these forms of social media have become breeding grounds for parents to laud – and lament – certain achievements in their children’s lives.

Oh look, baby Rutherford turned 3 months old! I can’t believe he’s enjoying tummy time so much!! I can’t believe Millard is already 5! He goes to Kindergarten in the fall. Where has the time gone… Chester got his first paycheck, would you look at that Your dad and I are so proud of you, Grover, we wish you and Frances nothing but the best for a happy and healthy marriage!

If you’ll look past my obvious use of presidential pseudonyms, I’m sure you’ve seen all of these types of posts. And, if you have kids, I’m sure the sense of pride, or anxiety, or a mix of the two is very familiar to you depending on how old your kids are.

Many times as I see this type of content, I quickly glance past it. I may make note of what little Millard is up to, on the off chance that I run into his mom at an event and need to do a quick catch up.

In most cases, though, I keep moving past the potty-training milestones, the birthday height measurements and science fair projects. Not because they aren’t impressive, but simply because that type of content has never really done much for me. I don’t have kids, and I’m not a mom… Every once in a blue moon, I’ll see a dad post about something their kid did, but, from my experience, 95% of the time, it’s moms posting this type of thing.

However, recently something happened in my life, and I want to share it for the sake of all the moms out there – especially the boy moms out there.

As my friends’ boys have grown older, I have seen the general sentiments in their posts change from excited when they walk, to proud when they go to kindergarten, to anxious about how fast they are growing by the time they reach later elementary school age, to a bit of eye rolling over how ‘boyish’ they are in middle and high school, back to proud again after that once they get through the gauntlet that is the teenage years.

Moms, I know you worry. I know you wonder your babies may turn out. What happens when your relationship with your son changes?

I hate to break it to ya, but he won’t always be so cooperative when you want to take his picture, or let you drop him off at school. There will be times in college where he won’t pick up the phone, or answer your text. He’ll very likely try to go on some sort of trip without telling you; there may be a few significant others he hopes you’ll never find out about, and there will undoubtedly be 1,000 times where you’ll ask yourself who is this child now? That can’t be the same kid who used to rest his head so contently on my shoulder after a bottle…

Will he ever appreciate you, Mom? Will he ever truly understand how much you care for him? Will he ever stop and notice all the ways you have tried to prepare him for the life ahead of him?

The answer, I can assure you, is yes, someday, he will.

For me, that someday came barreling at me completely out of the blue last week.

My mom was on vacation with my dad. They were touring a few National Parks in Utah. This is the kind of trip that my mom lives for. Nature. Hiking. Exploring. Free entry into the national parks via her lifetime pass, and reciprocity to visit other gardens along the way due to her membership benefits with the Morton Arboretum …

If you know my mom at all, that’s like a Mount Rushmore of benefits.

Anyway, on Monday morning, June 17, my mom sat down at breakfast to write me a letter. This letter, that you’ll see below, embodies everything that is great about my mom’s and my relationship.

She included so many little details in this note that were not only important to her – but she also knew that I would appreciate them. And, for the first time in my life, I think I was able to fully appreciate them.

First of all, she sent the letter on stationary from the (potentially) world-famous Bumbleberry Inn and Motel. How do I know this? Because she went through the trouble to get her hands on Bumbleberry stationary. I picture this process, where you have an extremely zealous traveler coming up to a Bumbleberry employee and asking if they have stationary, or something in which she can use to send a note to her son. There’s a chance the paper could have been left for guests in each of their rooms, but this is full-size stationary, not a sheet off of a tear pad. So, at least in my version of how the events went down, my mom had to ask for this. And, knowing her, she would most definitely do that!

The top of the note not only has the date, but it specifies that it was Monday morning, and that it was written during breakfast. Not only is this thoughtful letter-writing technique commonly practiced in eras gone by, but, as I have learned, this is how my mom’s brain works. Every time I go on a trip, be it for work, or pleasure, she asks, okay, Monday, what did you do Monday? And after we’ve gone through Monday, and gotten sidetracked a few dozen times, she’ll always come back to it in her mind, and say, okay, Tuesday, what was Tuesday?

For years, I have had to bite my tongue and not say, Mom, okay, do we have to go through every day of the trip as if it’s being used in a legal deposition? And yet, somehow, to read ‘Monday… Breakfast’ at the top of this note, it finally clicked. This is her. This is how her mind works. This is what she wants to tell me, and this is how she structured it in her mind. The realization that she was getting great joy out of this changed everything for me.

She started the letter with reference to her favorite writing utensil – the trusty Ticonderoga #2 pencil. It’s a long running joke in our family that Mom always has a Ticonderoga #2 behind one – and sometimes both – of her ears. As soon as I saw that the letter was written in pencil, I knew it was a Ticonderoga #2, but reading her reminder made me smile.

I won’t break down for you every part of this note that touched me so personally, because there is so much layered into the way she wrote it – from using certain exclamation points in places where I knew she would use them – to the way she used parentheses. They mean more to me than they could ever mean to you.

That’s not the point of this post.

The point of this post is to be a reminder of how uniquely special a mother’s relationship can be with her son.

It takes time, and for a long time, my mom was putting in effort to connect with me that went without being fully realized on my end.

She sent me notes like this in college that I opened, read, and glanced at the articles she’d cut out of the newspaper thinking I would like to read them, and I didn’t read them, or at least not all of them.

She put together a photo scrapbook of a class trip I took in middle school, and I probably looked at it for five seconds back then. As I was cleaning out my house to move about two years ago now, I found that little scrapbook and I marveled at the effort and the care she put into making it and preserving those memories.

The common theme may sound like it’s just a factor of building a foundation, and waiting 30 years, but I think there’s also more to it than that.

I’ve written more about that here, but the short version is this:

Invest in what your son(s) likes now. That’ll no doubt change, but the thing he’ll come to appreciate most when he’s in his 30s and beyond is that you took the time to know him. That while you may not have been super interested in baseball (the thing I liked most throughout most of my formative years) or trucks, or toy cars, or video games, or Marvel movies, purely the fact that you wanted to take part in his life with him matters. A lot.

He’ll brush you off at first. And probably for the entire span of when he’s like 11 through 25…

But it’s worth it.

I look at the relationship I have with my mom now and it brings tears to my eyes.

Her methods may not work for you. They may not feel authentic, and your kids may not respond to them the same way that I did. Heck, the way my mom and I connect is not the same way she connects with my brother. But, she has her own connection with him, and they bond in ways that are equally unique to his personality. But they do connect. And it is special.

As I close, I will end with a call to enjoy the journey.

I laugh a little that I’m giving advice to moms – me?

But for many of you that will read this, I know you. I know your moms, and I know the amazing connections you have with them.

I also know how hard it can be to know how to navigate all that goes into raising a son. I certainly wouldn’t want to have been fully responsible for raising me…

Many of you have husbands who will play their own role in helping you raise your boys, and they will do their part, no doubt. And your boys – if they’re anything like me – will gravitate heavily to their dad at certain times. And thankfully so. That’s obviously normal. Enjoy the connection that’s built there, too.

But, as most any boy would tell ya, there’s just something special about the relationship we have with our mom.

If you wonder in the back of your mind if your little guy will ever fully appreciate you for all that you are, and how much you care about him.

Someday, he will.

Okay, enough out of me. I hope my words made your hearts smile a little bit. Go moms!

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pedra-ring-blog · 5 years

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10 Best Romance Anime of All Time

Top 10 Best Romance Anime It’s really not that hard to figure out what the romance genre in anime is all about. Essentially, it’s about love, romance, and the characters going all lovey-dovey. Usually, romantic and sweet moments come together. Bottom line is, this genre is about love and sweet moments—and most of the time there are added twists of drama and comedy. As I’ve already watched plenty of romance anime, I’ve built a collection of my personal favorites. Below you will find 10 anime series that represent the best in the genre. I've also added additional smaller lists that cover more particular subgenres in the romance category. Ready or not, here they are!

Toradora! | Source

10. Toradora!

It’s romantic, it’s comedic! And even sometimes very dramatic! Toradora is one romance anime everyone can truly enjoy. From the beginning, the characters are fairly hostile to each other until their true feelings and emotions are revealed. Everything is executed perfectly here. Some elements may seem very cliché, but even those things are handled in a very brilliant way. You’ll get captivated by the story. Takasu Ryuuji looks like a delinquent because of his intimidating eyes and stares. Aisaka Taiga, on the other hand, looks small and gentle, but she is actually as fierce as a tiger. Both Ryuuji and Taiga have their own crushes—coincidentally, on each other's best friend. So when Taiga mistakes Ryuuji’s bag for his best friend's, her secret crush is revealed. Now, Taiga is intent on pulverizing Ryuuji for knowing his secret, but he later discovers that Ryuuji also has a crush on her best friend. The two cooperate and form a pact to help each other win over their respective crushes.

Toradora! - Trailer

Lovely Complex | Source

9. Lovely Complex

If I can describe Lovely Complex in two words, I’d say cute and sweet! It’s in the name after all. It’s an adorable and super sweet romantic comedy love story. High school student Atsushi Otani is really short and Riza Koizumi is really tall for a teenage girl. Those traits wouldn’t really be an issue on their own, but as extremes of one other in the same class, these two tend to stand out as a perfect comedy duo. Being the opposites of each other, Otani and Risa are always arguing and bickering about their own complexes. But surprisingly, they have some particular similarities that only the two of them share. Hence, the start of their very sweet, very cute, very funny, and most of all . . . very lovely complex.

Lovely Complex - Trailer

Kaichō wa Meido-sama! | Source

8. Kaichō wa Meido-sama! (Maid Sama!)

While Kaichō wa Meido-sama! has a simple story, its set of characters (especially the leading characters) are so well-made that they carry the story far enough to shine bright. The characters are very relatable and likable. As many romantic moments there are, there’s an equal number of quirky, comedic moments that come along. Overall, Kaichō wa Meido-sama! is a very heart-warming romantic comedy anime that has little to no unnecessary complexities, which prompts it to deliver a pure love story with its own notable quirks and memorable moments. When an all-boys school suddenly turns co-ed, the only foreseeable struggle that’s bound to happen is that the new girl students will be intimidated and feel awkward. Ayuzawa Misaki takes the responsibility of being the student council president in order to rule the school with an iron-fist and keep the balance in place (much to the boys’ disapproval because of her harshness towards them). To keep up her appearances as the student council president with the iron-fist, Misaki has to keep her after school job a secret. She works as a very gentle and sophisticated maid in a café. One day, the popular heartthrob Usui Takumi finds out her well-kept secret.

Recommended High School Romance Anime

You may notice that a few entries on this list take place in a high school setting. It is a common backdrop in romance anime since it covers a universal place and time where young love blooms. If you are particularly fond of young high school romance in your anime, you can check out these recommendations. True TearsWolf Girl & Black PrinceHis and Her CircumstancesReLifeTsuki ga Kirei

Blue Spring Ride | Source

7. Ao Haru Ride (Blue Spring Ride)

Despite being a fairly recent anime, Ao Haru Ride stands out as a great romance show that conforms with today’s standards. The art, visuals, and animation were superb. The story? It wasn’t shabby at all! Plus, the characters and their development (especially romantic development) shined very brightly. Everything fell into place and delivered a perfect combination of elements befitting of a heartwarming story. Because of this, she wasn’t able to confess her feelings to the boy she loved, Tanaka-kun. Now in high school, Yoshioka has changed her personality into something very unlady-like (opposite to what she was before) so as to not repeat her experiences in middle school. Soon she meets her middle school crush again, but with a different name. Tanaka-kun is now Mabuchi Kou, and he reveals that he liked Yoshioka in the past. But now everything has changed. Have their feelings as well?

Ao Haru Ride - Trailer

The Pet Girl of Sakurasou | Source

6. Sakurasou no Pet no Kanojo (The Pet Girl of Sakurasou)

Sakurasou no Pet no Kanojo,also known as The Pet Girl of Sakurasou, is a show that tackles love and romance on a whole new level. It’ll give you the impression that it’s yet just another senseless harem anime with overblown clichés and fanservice, but that’s totally wrong! This show proves that it can be very complex, in a good way, while totally rubbing off the initial impressions. First, it doesn’t only talk about romance, it speaks on love in general. Second, the characters are surprisingly well-developed, as is the plot and story. Lastly, as I’ve said, everything’s surprisingly good, so giving it a chance is definitely a must! The combination of many great elements with romance and love produces a very good blend with this one. Everything’s pretty normal though, except the fact that all the students that live there have their own weird habits and quirks. A few days later, a girl, who’s the oddest of them all (super brilliant but doesn’t how to take care of herself), is going to live in Sakurasou, where Sorata is going to be in charge of taking care of her.

The Pet Girl of Sakurasou - Trailer

Golden Time | Source

5. Golden Time

If you haven’t seen Golden Time yet, then I suggest you do now. In my own opinion (and I think many will agree), Golden Time is one of the most realistic romance anime that exists today. It isn’t just all about being lovey-dovey, it also tackles the struggles and the complications of being in a relationship. As a matter of fact, the show did this by featuring very realistic characters that you could easily relate to. Even the story on its own is very decent. It has romance, comedy, drama, and they all fit together to tug your heartstrings and show the reality of relationships and love. Starting his life as a law student in college in the city, Tada Banri gets lost on his first day trying to get to school. Fortunately, he meets another guy named Mitsuo Yanagisawa who’s in the same situation he is. Then from out of the blue, a beautiful girl named Kaga Kouko suddenly appears and smashes a bouquet of flowers into Mitsuo’s face. As weird as it is, Koukou is Mitsuo’s childhood friend who’s overly obsessed with him. Trying to escape from her, Mitsuo enrolls in the school but Kouko manages to follow him. Now, Banri is caught up in the situation and he’s going to be the one who changes the course of this crazy situation.

Golden Time - Trailer

Clannad | Source

4. Clannad

I’ll be surprised if you’ve never heard of Clannad or Clannad: After Story. These are two of the best drama anime out there. And not only that, they're also by far two of the best romance anime! Did you know that there isn’t even a single kissing scene between the lovers here? That’s correct, there isn’t! But the romance and drama is high enough to completely rub that off and focus on the relationships. Love has never been this lovely and beautiful in an anime. I can almost feel the characters’ sentiments in this one. While walking to school one day, the unmotivated Okazaki Tomoya notices a girl who suddenly mutters the name of some kind of food. The girl’s name is Nagisa Furukawa, and unbeknownst to both, it’s just the start of the rollercoaster of love and life where they’ll first start as friends until they get attached to one another. But of course, no legit rollercoaster is without a bump. It’s just the start of their romantic, heartwarming, and even heart-wrenching story.

Clannad - Trailer

Recommended Romantic Comedy Anime

The genre most related to the romance category of anime is arguably the comedy genre. Like other mediums of entertainment, the two genres work cohesively to deliver moments that are as heartwarming as they are humorous. If you need some laughs with your romance, check out some of these anime series. School RumbleWagnaria!!HaganaiChobitsNisekoi

Special A | Source

3. Special A

Now this one’s so interesting that you’ll be very pleased watching it. Special A is another romantic comedy-drama show where the characters fall in love with each other. In this one, it’s not just one pair of friends that falls in love, but most of the characters. Each one has a story to tell, and most of the time the stories are very heartwarming and sweet. Add that to the fact that the main pair are always fighting each other for supremacy. You'll be entertained at how funny they are until the moment that they actually develop feelings and fall in love. Until the very end, Special A keeps the romantic pace up. Being both best friends and rivals since they were children, Hikari Hanazono and Kei Takashima have a bond where they are always clawing at each other. Now they’re both in high school in a special class of the most brilliant and elite—the Special Class A. As she always does, Hikari shall do her best to snatch the number 1 spot from Kei at all costs. But then, as the battle goes on, feelings from deep within their hearts suddenly manifest.

Special A - Opening Song Theme

Kimi ni Todoke | Source

2. Kimi ni Todoke (From Me to You)

This is a rare gem in the romance department of anime. I know most won’t watch it based on first impressions, but as they say, don’t judge a book by its cover. Or should I say, don’t judge a romance anime by its title, poster, or summary! Kimi ni Todoke is very unique in the sense that it showcases elements that are very original to the romance genre. And I must say, it’s super effective! . On the other hand, Kazehaya Shouta is super popular in class and is well-known as a very kind and friendly guy with a really refreshing presence. Given Shouta’s personality, he’s the only one who’s willing to approach Sawako and talk with her, much to Sawako’s delight. It’s the first time she has befriended someone and she is so thankful. She feels blessed and hopeful that it’ll be the start of something new.

Kimi ni Todoke Trailer

Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun | Source

1. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun (My Little Monster)

We’ve come to the much-anticipated revelation. I don’t know if you will agree with me, but in my opinion, the best romance anime is Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun. I really encourage you to watch it. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun is fairly new, yet it has already soared to the top. I mean, it has all the elements necessary to be a truly awesome romance anime. It’s unique, sweet (very sweet actually), cute (the love story is so adorable it will easily tug your heartstrings), very wholesome (which is a rarity today), and very lovable. There are many more reasons why this anime is a masterpiece, but I’ll leave those for you to discover. It all starts when Shizuku Mizutani, a cold high-achiever student, is tasked by a teacher to deliver some handouts to a student named Yoshida Haru, a student who was suspended from school. Haru is very touched by Shizuku’s delivery, claiming that only a friend would do that (even though it wasn’t really Shizuku’s intention). Shizuku is really cold, earning her the nickname “Dry Ice” while Haru is very innocent and clueless to the social workings in the world. Both are aloof and weird in a way. From their first meeting, Haru feels a spark in his heart towards Shizuku, so from then on he follows Shizuku. Soon enough, both begin to deal with blossoming feelings and emotions as well as various colorful complications that arise from within their hearts. Read the full article

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jackblankhsh · 7 years

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Fell on Black Days...

When Chris Cornell died my social media feed flooded with posts about those lamenting the loss. It reminded me of previous occasions such as the death of David Bowie, Alan Rickman, and the plethora of celebrities who passed last year; online communities posting music, gifs, memes, and video clips as a way of eulogizing the departed. Then as now I scrolled through myriad such signs of mourning wondering why these deaths mean so much.

I usually feel detached from the demise of a celebrity. Even those I admire have never really affected me in any obvious fashion. It’s hard for me to be overly distraught over the loss of a person with whom I had no interpersonal relationship. That isn’t to say I don’t have some type of personal connection, but such threads always struck me as more nebulous and abstract. For instance, throughout high school and college I listened to Pantera a great deal, however, when Dimebag Darrell was murdered I didn’t experience any profound melancholy. And yet, I know for a fact that his death still affects the mood of many Pantera fans. Simply putting any of their music on a jukebox eventually elicits the attention of a CFH enthusiast, who invariably nods somberly – funerary headbanging – as they turn the conversation, almost immediately, to the death of Dimebag: “This is a kickass song. Sucks that he’s dead, man.” Joy of the song sharply gives way to a reminder of the dead.

Now, that may seem an extreme example, a murder is bound to hold root in anyone’s mind, but the same is true for celebrities who have passed less horrifically. Dead musicians draw out the most common instance of this, really listen to the conversations people have about deceased celebrities. Talk starts out mentioning why so and so meant a great deal to an individual, but discussion soon moves towards two statements:

1. There will never be more (films, songs, paintings, etc.) from Blank. 2. What remains will often be less enjoyable; now tainted by death a song, a scene, or a photo becomes a reminder of loss.

What concerns us most is that we’ve lost those things which gave us happiness. The joy of hearing a song or seeing a film will never be quite as potent now that it serves as a reminder of loss. However, it’s never about the person, it’s about their product. To this day, people still remark on the suicide of Hunter S. Thompson in regards to wanting his writing, particularly the dagger prose with which he might stab whatever current political madness is rising. Yet, I’m willing to assume, with absolute certainty, Thompson’s son, Juan, doesn’t want his dad back so he could write another book. Fans can only want back that part of the celebrity they actually knew.

Our connection to famous people is often indirect. We assume a level of relationship potential based on how their works make us feel as opposed to any understanding of the actual individuals – just because you love Kurt Cobain’s music doesn’t mean you’d be best friends. (In fact, the more one tends to learn about beloved celebrities the less appealing they actually become. Hunter Thompson could be a wild merry prankster, or a frighteningly explosive volcano. Just ask his ex-wife. Louis Reed may play the music you love, but he never met a woman he wouldn’t brutalize. Roman Polanski: rapist. And let’s not even start down the horrifying litany of offenses numerous sports icons commit from every conceivable type of cruelty to outright murder.) Because we don’t actually know them celebrities can be the people we want most in life: someone who understands us; and a vicarious means to see our dreams come alive.

So it’s no wonder those products become tainted. Hearing a beloved song by Bowie is a constant reminder that the man who wrote it, who seemed to speak to your very soul, is gone. Watching Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, depending on your inclination – Jane Russell or Marilyn Monroe – means that vicarious sex appeal really is just a dream because the actors are dead and gone. There’s no one living it for you, and though films are always fantasy, they seem less so knowing the performers are alive somewhere in the world. In essence, what’s lost isn’t so much the celebrity, but a degree of connectivity to others as well as dreams.

Abstract though it may be art unites at a subconscious level, so do sports. At the minute details our preferences become subjective; however, broadly speaking they involve general themes. I may have turned on “Becoming” because of my own particular reasons, yet it speaks to any other Pantera fan who hears it, in essence giving us proof we aren’t alone in life. There used to be someone who created something that connected strangers to one another. It’s a profoundly unique accomplishment. So it’s no wonder the loss of that focal point leaves us adrift for a while. Such communities orbit the celebrity, and without them a real threat seems to emerge: the lynchpin is gone, so the whole cosmos may fly apart. Yet, now is the beginning of true immortality. The memory sustained by devoted fans, the legends turn into mythical gods, holding the universe together.

I get how material is tainted by the loss of a celebrity, but I’ve always been comforted by the fact those same materials still persist. For instance, Chris Cornell is gone. I can still listen to his music, and though it may stir some darker sentiments than before, his absence doesn’t change what it once meant to me, and will mean again. That thing which was significant to me still remains, so in a way is comforting. Still, I find it hard to cry over the loss of a man I didn’t know. Loving his music doesn’t mean loving him, and I haven’t lost his music. In fact, I haven’t lost anymore of Chris Cornell than I ever had, while his friends and family have lost an entire human being from their lives.

Others aren’t likely to be as dispassionate as I am. I’m well aware of this. As such I can’t help wondering if I’m missing out on something. While no one ever wishes to grieve it seems like those who do, in these instances, who are not his immediate friends and family, have lost something profound. It’s entirely possible I’ve missed out on a depth of feeling of some significance, and I sometimes worry if that means I lack something human not having that. Still, it may simply be that I’m more connected to the moments of my own life: at this movie I got my first kiss; this album acted like the soundtrack to that horrible winter; her book inspired me to be a writer, and his showed me the way to my voice… it probably sounds incredibly narcissistic I’m sure. Unless one considers it like this: any kind of death is mostly a reminder of our own mortality, so although there’ll be no more elegant plays, films, songs, or whatever, recognizing the loss should serve as inspiration to spend time with the real people in our lives.

Sure, let Bowie be the soundtrack to your adventure, but make sure to have one. He certainly did, and who’s to say you might do any less? Missing the words of Hunter, what’s wrong with yours? Alan Rickman can’t share that sonorous voice, so I guess it’s time you did. There’s an absence in the universe that needs to be filled, not because of some selfish desire for fame, but because maybe you can make someone feel less alone carrying the torch a celebrity dropped when they died. It doesn’t even require being a superstar.

Going back to Cornell, there’s someone out there right now who feels a bit of worry. The creeping dread flickers at the edge of their mind-sight threatening the possibility there will never be another Soundgarden, or Audioslave to sing the songs which made their life shiny on dull days, brilliant in blackest night, and endurable when torturous… yet, perhaps, it takes a simple visit to kill such bleakness.

Put on an album. Pour some drinks. Share some memories, while making some more. Because it’s never really the musician, the actors, or the athletes we’re remembering. It’s seeing that film where a first kiss happened, hearing the music that made high school bearable, the bonding chats at the ballpark… escapism in real time, flavoring the days.

The seasoning tastes a bit different, but it’s still there. That’s life.

“Someone tried to tell me something Don’t let the world bring you down Nothing will do me in before I do myself So save it for your own, and the ones you can help.”

Well said Mr. Cornell. Thanks for the tunes. They’re more precious now, though the cost is too high. Yet, unable to change reality, the only thing I can do is what I will do. Keep playing those songs so a rock legend becomes a rock god, and so, in a way, immortal.

#writing #honestyisnotcontagious #celebrities #dead celebrities #soundgarden #chris cornell #essay #nonfiction #op ed #opinion

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rallyanime-blog · 7 years

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How to start a School Rom-Com

School romantic comedies are probably amongst the most divisive of all standard anime genres. Notoriously, they are regarded by the community as the ‘trashy“ or “generic” type of anime commonly being produced in the industry.

Personally, I find this sentiment to be completely unfair. I think that there is an understated amount of nuance that comes into creating a likable or enjoyable romantic comedy.

Let us take a look at a recent manga that I feel was successful in starting a proper rom-com.

We Can’t Study is the new romantic comedy running in Shonen Jump that replaced Niskeoi. Interestingly enough, the author of We Can’t Study was one of the assistants on Komi Naoshi’s Nisekoi and also the author of the Niskeoi spin-off Magical Patisserie Kosaki-chan.

The premise is as follows:

Yuiga Nariyuki works hard every day to obtain a full-college scholarship from his High School to support his poor family. His headmaster promises that he’ll get it if he fulfills a small condition. He has to tutor two resident female geniuses, Furuhashi Fumino (Literature-genius) and her friend Ogata Rizu (Science-genius), so that they can get into their dream-college. The catch is that Fumino wants to major in Science and Rizu wants to major in Literature despite them failing constantly in those subjects.

The synopsis is quite simple. However, what I find interesting is how this show executes this premise.

This manga begins the story by focusing on our MC and establishing his motives. Although this is rather common, it is vitally important that the MC is given something. He is doing something with his life. His ambition is clearly stated within the first ten pages and it is established that he is diligently working towards his goal.

That’s fine and all. But why? Well, it is because he comes from a poor household. His father passed away several year prior to the beginning of the story which no doubt impacted the household both emotionally as well as financially. Therefore, Yuiga takes it into his own hands to find a career and to help his family.

He is established to have given up everything to pursue his goals. In addition, he also is shown explicitly to forgo sleep in order to get his stuff done (As we will later see in his duties as a note taker and tutor to the girls).

Although both of these elements are relatively simple, both are important in characterizing the MC and making him likable. How many of these rom-coms begin with an unassuming MC who is just skating by under his irrremarkability. Here, we a man who knows what he wants out of the world and is working towards his goal. That goal is specifically the school recommendation for a full ride university grant.

However, the recommendation comes at a cost: Yuiga is to tutor two of his fellow classmates. Now, Yuiga is forced into a wacky relationship with two zany girls!

Except he is not really forced into anything.

In many similar shows, a chance encounter, a shared secret, or the recommendation of the school counselor forces the MC into the unknown world of harem MCs. However, in this series, Yuiga is given the option of whether or not he will accept the job. Now, Yuiga has already been established as an exceptionally high achieving student. Given his skill set, Yuiga could easily attend almost every university he wishes. It would just take him a bit more time or money.

But that’s the problem, it would be a detour to his ambition. He is square set on his goal so, despite how it is initially portrayed, he accepts almost immediately because it is his dream.

Once again, We Can’t Study constantly reinforces the idea that this is a character we can root for. Having a dream is universally relatable and is critical to the likability of a character.

In addition, it is this sense of choice and free will that is imperative. Characters being just dragged around or events being started by incidence alone is unsatisfying and somewhat weird given that we, as the audience, are meant to derive enjoyment from the suffering of the characters. Of course, it is not as if coincidence and incidental events are not absent from We Can’t Study. However, as of now, it does not seem like any major plot points are derived out of these coincidences yet and the series is mostly comedy as of the first ~15 chapters so it is not a huge deal.

Giving the characters a sense of choice in their situation is further elaborated on in the series itself. Fumino and Rizu both willingly choose to have Yuiga as their tutor because they have dreams of their own. Did I not mention that the girls in this story are also working towards their dreams as well? Both Fumino and Rizu are natural geniuses in their respective fields yet seek careers and colleges in fields they are completely garbage at.

Both of these characters were introduced as complete natural geniuses whose talent is so great in their specific study that they don’t even have to think about doing them. Yet both find themselves tragically attracted to fields of study that interestingly represent what they lack as people.

Rizu wants to study Psychology because her social ineptitude leaves her without many companions as well as very little skill in reading emotions and interacting in social situations. Meanwhile, Fumino wants to study Astronomy because her deceased mother also loved the stars. However, Fumino is hopelessly bad at science and astronomy.

This is an example of extraordinary yet incredibly simple characterization of these characters. Both of the lead heroines are humanized and thus made infinitely more relatable as people. Therefore, we can more easily become invested in the wacky misadventures of these characters.

Moreover, Yuiga is particularly sensitive to the goals of these characters. In many other cases, the MC is motivated exclusively by kindness that stems from some traumatic childhood memory of his past (if anything at all). However, Yuiga connects with these characters on several levels.

For one, Yuiga understands the two from his own experiences and upbringing. He himself was a sub par student once in his life but his father always encouraged him to do better and praised Yuiga whenever he did improve (even if the improvement was going from a 3 to a 4). Therefore, Yuiga is the prime person to be invested in the story of their goals.

In addition, Yuiga is also motivated by self interest. Although this decidedly not as important as the series goes on as Yuiga deepens his relationship with the two, it is no doubt a factor in justifying his assistance,

Finally, of course he is kind. But obviously this isn’t a huge deal. Of course he is nice because we’re going to want to root for this guy. Being kind has never been not a good thing to be.

Another topic of discussion is that there is a certain sense of actual chemistry and human connection between the characters. All three of them are initially just teacher and student but they very quickly develop a friendship together. All three, despite having their own individual goals, are joined together in their shared pursuit of their dreams together.

There is also a noticeable sense of improvement and progression innately present in the premise. Once again, there is sense of moving towards something, a goal. It also helps that they are somewhat portrayed as underdogs who nobody thinks are capable of succeeding.

To begin wrapping up, the last point of discussion I’d like to bring up is that the girls are legitimately cute as much as they are likable. One thing that I took notice of is that these girls fill certain character cliches yet stop short of being actual cliches. Their eccentricities are not extreme in any way which makes them a better rounded whilst still maintaining their charm, quirkiness, and distinctiveness The fact that they have ambitions automatically gives them a bit more leverage as being an actual character.

It also interesting to note that these girls show their -dere side of their personality a lot more than what you would normally expect. This, of course, means their all the more cuter.

The art and character designs are starkly reminiscent of Nisekoi (which should be obvious considering the author). This is undoubtedly a good thing as the girls in this series are extraordinarily cute and bubbly and animated in their expressions and mannerisms. It gets my thumbs up.

I am excited to see what this series can become and I look forward to future chapters featuring these characters.

#wecantstudy #manga #shonen jump

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biofunmy · 5 years

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How To Talk To Boomers And Other Older People In Your Life About Fake News

Ben Kothe / BuzzFeed News; Getty Images

This story is part of Protect Your Parents From the Internet Week.

“Look for the magnifying glass icon,” said Patrick Costales as he pointed to a tablet showing YouTube on its screen.

Costales, 15, was teaching Michele Bianchi, 81, how to search for episodes of Bianchi’s favorite Italian TV shows. This was the fifth Saturday in a row they’d met in the basement of a Toronto library so the teenager could show Bianchi how to email, read news, listen to music, and perform other online tasks as part of a program called Cyber Seniors.

After the session, Costales sat next to his friend and fellow tutor, Mareson Suresh, 15, to discuss the online behavior of the older people in their lives. Had they ever seen an adult post something problematic on social media?

“Frequently,” said Costales.

“My mom loves taking pictures, and even if she says she won’t post it, she posts it,” Suresh said. “And the thing is, I don’t follow her on Facebook or anything because I don’t use Facebook, but she’s big on it.”

Be it personal photos or false or inflammatory articles and memes, young people find themselves struggling to manage, and at times confront, the extremely online adults in their lives.

Boomers and older generations are by no means the only people having trouble in our new and chaotic information environment, although research suggests they have the most pressing challenges. Younger people also face difficulty, which is why so many news literacy programs target K-12 and college students. But the rapid pace of change on online platforms — and the lack of widespread reach of programs like Cyber Seniors — have left some older adults struggling to catch up.

“Now what are you going to do about the adults?”

The challenge is to handle the situation in a way that works and doesn’t fray intergenerational relationships, according to Mike Caulfield, director of blended and networked learning at Washington State University Vancouver. He also runs the Digital Polarization Initiative, which pioneers new approaches to teaching information literacy. Caulfield said his students see the need for older people in their lives to learn the skills he’s teaching.

“Students in every class said, ‘This is great, [now] what are you going to do about the adults?’ It’s one of the consistent things that come up. And it’s not half jokingly; I feel like it’s very sincere,” he said. “I do feel when they bring this up, they have very specific people in mind.”

Fortunately, Caulfield and other experts have advice.

So does Suresh, one of the Toronto teens who’s spent weeks helping seniors master the basics of devices and the internet. “Just say it,” he said. “I know it’s weird talking to your family about those specific topics, but it’ll benefit them much more … so you just might as well say it as soon as possible.”

Naomi Harris For Buzzfeed News

Eufemia Bianchi and her husband, Michele Bianchi, take lessons in technology with Patrick Costales and Mareson Suresh at the Toronto Public Library.

Supply the Missing Context

This one might be called the John Cusack Problem.

Last month the actor tweeted a cartoon that showed a hand emblazoned with the Star of David seeming to crush a group of people. Near it was the quote “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” It was attributed to Voltaire, but the line actually originated with white nationalist Kevin Alfred Strom. Cusack, 53, also added his own comment to the tweet: “Follow the money.”

After facing blowback for the anti-Semitic message, Cusack blamed a “bot.” Then he said he didn’t understand the implications of what he shared. “I mistakenly retweeted an alt right account I thought was agreeing with the horrible bombing of a hospital in Palestine,” he tweeted.

Caulfield said it’s common for older people to unwittingly share things that have extremist messages or iconography. “It’s very hard to see people posting stuff that may come from a kind of a dark place that they don’t realize is dark,” Caulfield said. “What do you do when your parents go from posting Minions to posting hard-right memes about cement milkshakes?”

He says it’s important to intervene privately and help the person understand the larger — and more concerning — context.

“There’s a good chance your family member doesn’t understand that and might be horrified at what they’re sharing. And so there’s a point to intervene and let people know, ‘Hey, I know, this was probably not what you meant, but…’”

Keep It Positive and Personal

Experts agree that being non-confrontational is key. Daniel Kent founded Net Literacy, a nonprofit, in 2003 when he was in middle school in Indiana. One of its first programs was Senior Connects, which helps older people get online and gain basic internet skills.

“I think it’s fundamentally about treating [older people] with concern and respect. Recognizing that … perhaps they had the best of intentions, but the execution on their part perhaps wasn’t the most, the most thoughtful and mindful,” he said.

If you do want to say something, Kent and Caulfield suggest engaging in person — or by direct message or phone if that’s not possible. If you call someone out publicly on Facebook or elsewhere, they’re likely to feel attacked or shamed, and you won’t have a chance to hear why they wanted to share a particular piece of content. Understanding where someone is coming from and why they shared or posted what they did is essential, Kent and Caulfield say.

“With our volunteers [we] preach as much empathy as possible,” Kent said.

Naomi Harris for BuzzFeed News

But Don’t Be Afraid to Go Public

While engaging privately is often best, there are cases where you may want to intervene publicly. For example, if an acquaintance is sharing false or misleading information that’s generating lots of engagement.

“You can think of yourself as intervening not really to stop the poster, but intervening on behalf of your friends who are seeing this and may get suckered by it,” he said.

The rule of not being aggressive or confrontational still applies. He suggested acknowledging the original poster’s sentiment, adding to the discussion by sharing an alternate report about the same topic, and saying why it offers a more accurate portrayal.

Get Them to Google (News) It

When someone in your life seems to share information that’s unmoored from reality, try to understand what emotion, opinion, or idea the person is trying to express — and shift them toward a better place to get that information.

“You push them to a better source that is related to their concern,” said Caulfield.

One caveat: If the particular idea or claim is odious or clearly false, it’s not your job to help them express it. “If they’re a white supremacist, don’t validate their concern,” he said. “But if they have a concern that is is somewhat valid, that comes from valid worries, you can empathize.”

“Hey, look, one of these headlines is not like the others.”

Caulfield suggests encouraging the person to search for the central topic or claim on Google News, which exercises control over which websites are included in its database. This helps locate a story from a more credible source that still acknowledges their point of view or emotion.

“Nine times out of 10, you could make your point with a story from USA Today,” said Caulfield. “It might not be the same clickbait headline, but it takes you 10 seconds to go find an [alternate] story.”

This exercise also exposes the person to different headlines about the same topic, helping them see which facts are broadly consistent across different outlets, or not. “There’s just something that is really powerful about going to Google News and scanning those headlines and seeing, ‘Hey, look, one of these headlines is not like the others,’” he said.

Naomi Harris for BuzzFeed News

Eufemia and Michele Bianchi at the Toronto Public Library.

Look in the Mirror

Be self-aware enough to realize you may also not have the best information-consumption habits, either. Practice finding other sources for a story and compare details to learn to spot inconsistencies between coverage. Then share the good stuff. You can also choose to do that instead of intervening with friends and family.

“In most cases, you’re better off sharing new material with family members that will resonate with them or focusing correction efforts on people with bigger platforms than Uncle Rick,” Caulfield said.

Even if some of the adults in your life struggle with what they share, they’re still people with a wealth of knowledge, experience, and love to offer. Suresh, the 15-year-old in Toronto, taught his 79-year-old student, Eufemia Bianchi, many things about her Samsung phone, but it has also been a learning experience for him.

“I feel like one of the biggest things about this program is having a reason to talk to elders, because as teens you don’t have that many opportunities to talk to some of the smartest people in your community, and especially people who have all those life experiences,” he said. ●

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