#idk man im scared of every single interaction in the world

[lunarheslwt]

.

#i just think a lot about... #like the fear of being too much is so #i just want ppl to tell me like i would prefer it #than just me knowing it bc i can sense it based on vibes #i can absolutely tone myself down #idk man im scared of every single interaction in the world #bc time and time i feel like i just #idk idk idk #rather funny for such a quiet person to also be too much actually #anyway I'm tired

[doolkat]

G5 SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

My thoughts! (cute pic added so it wont be just boring text)

So I just saw the movie.

I been waiting for this ever since it was announced. I gotta say I was skeptical about it first but now Im like 'huh I see"

General : lighthearted movie with good music.

Plot : mediogre, I wanted to know more what happend!?

Questions :like SUNNYS DAD??? he died HOW??? HOW.. WHY WERE THE placements in his house..? Why did everyone start hating each other? What happend to Twilight and her friends?

Im sure everyones ASKING these question and I feel like movie should had covered this but maybe its a work for the show.

Thoughts : I really loved the animation! outstaniding and so many refernces and little clues every where that Im not sure I picked these up. So much to notice! The FREAKING pinup calender of Hitch.. GAY... and yeH This leads me to thibk that they are adults like in their 20s? like why else would there be that kind of joke or idk. After all Sunny lives alone too and Izzy? Also Sprout literally has the man child vibes so I doubt they are really young. Late teens at max I think! THE GUARDS were so cute and funny.Dont mind if i SHIP em lol. Also Sprout lowkey gay we all know that. Their worlds were really pretty and I liked how funny sterotypes they all had of each other. The music was so good. Sprouts song is the best!! The ending makes me think SUNNYS wings and horn arent permanent. They were see threw so yeah that wont be a thing in the show so I dont think non of us need to scream about that. Really have so much questions and movie answered so little that it makes me think what did the movie told us? I did really enjoy it but did it explain enough about their current world to us? No absolutely not!

Unicorn/Pegasi/Earth pony:

Another intresting thing to note is how unicorns who use to be higher class ones in g4 are now primitive nations. They live in woods and didnt seem to have any tehnology ? They seem to be like this "hipster" society that lives in woods and collect crysthals and read poems. Anything to just get their time off. Earth ponies have a powerful propaganda going on. A very dictatorship kind of way of thinking. They all work as a little town society like all the tribes but earth ponies propaganda to hate and be scared of unicorns and Pegasi seems much stronger. Their society seems to me like a little town community kind of. They have some technology- doesnt seem to have smartphones but they have movies and other things. Pegasi seems to be most obssed with tehnology and celerbtiy and gossip media. Much like canterlot use to be with lots celebrities and higher class ponies. I guess they just needed soemtjing cuz they lost their abilty to fly so they all came obssed with royal family and celebrities and gossip culture. What im saying each tribe had their own way of coping with things. To unicorns this seemed to be the most hurtful because they had no "fake" hope like the Pegasi had who thought royal family only could fly.

Characthers: Im gonna get hate for this but I really liked Sprout? like I know he is man baby but I thought the dictator ship kind ruling was pretty funny and well he just wanted to make his mom proud. I liked that his mom wasnt insane either? like she saw that the power was getting to his head. Speaking of moms Queen Haven is icon. I like her. She just likes glamour and camera. Nothing wrong with that. I LAUGHED WHEN I SAW THAT THEY HAD GOLDEN JAIL. Pegasi are clearly very wealthy. Zipp to me in this movie was the weakest characther? she barely had any moments of her own. Pipp had more mean energry than i thought like I thought she was gonna be literally like OMG SLAAAY QUEEN YASSS all the time but she gladly wasnt. Im looking forward more to see both of the sisters and their differnces. Kinda reminds me of me and my sister tbh one is all about fashion and expensive things in life and I am well.. I like more earthy things. So im lookin forward seeing those two interact the most.Hitch was pretty cool. He is like mix of applejack and fluttershy. I like him, not bad at all but very charming and clearly adored in town. Ok now the best SUNNY AND IZZY!! they are kinda... fruity hehzhejdjej I MEAN NOT STRAIGHT but also I love how I could see them as literally soulmates in friend way.. the latern thing.. that was so sniff.. I CRIED OK.. SHRED SINGLE TEAR. anywayd Im glad Izzy isnt RANDOM XD RAWR kinda pony I thought shed be. Will see how they are treated later. SUNNY is just precious also SOCIALIST AF.. bruh zjejs idk how I feel about that like she has that vibe love and tolerance to all but it could go so wrong. But Im glad she didnt loose optimism fully in end! She is previous.

The plot is how it is so ILL give this movie solid 8/10. Enjoyable!

Anyways in general I think the movie was good! Go watch it. if not for anything else then the visuals and songs are really good!

#my little pony g5 spoilers #my little pony g5 #g5 #my little pony new generation #my little pony generation 5 #my little pony #spoilers #G5 spoilers

[transsexualhamlet]

If you're still doing the song ask can you do Sherliam?

Yes, of course! Sorry it took me a while to get to this one lol but yessss

Song ask was make a 10 song playlist for a ship or character and since I think there's demand for this Im just gonna stick it in the actual sherliam tag!

Generally, it's a lot easier for me to do characters than ships but I have actually thought about this one a lot. I know a lot of the songs are pretty basic, but they work really well so stfu. I tried to put these in chronological order according to the storyline from when they first met to where things are now, but a lot of them would be simultaneous, so yeah lol

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5flNUgIR44PNjUOd8inbgh?si=8ac0229621ba4694

Catch Me If You Can by Set It Off: I made an amv for this song as well with them, and I really cannot think of any song that fits them more than this one to be perectly honest. I mean. Catch me if you can. But seriously it is everything with how they interact with each other. They're having way too much fun with the game, they're playing with each other and leading each other on and both on opposite sides and completely in sync. Motherfuckers are basically canonical soulmates but hmm intellectually fighting each other is basically sex for them.

From The Gallows by IDK HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: As soon as I read ynm I knew this was exactly Liam to Sherlock. I think a lot of my ships fit this dynamic very well, but. Yeah. Mans is like yes we are enemies yes I'm deeply in love with you please judge me to be worth saving or not so if you don't think you can kill me and I'll be happy. Pretty straight forward there.

Masterpiece Theatre I by Marianas Trench: This one is Liam singing, and I think that altogether, the whole set of those three masterpiece theatre songs work for the whole series, both the anime and manga. But the first one especially. God, it works so well. It's all this incredibly guilt ridden person lamenting their great plan and how at the end they 100 percent plan to let it all be destroyed, including themself, over Yearning towards someone they're not supposed to be with and that they've been hiding a lot from. They've become all lies and fronts and they've had to ignore all their emotions for quite some time, and all they want to do is give it all up and cry into this person's arms even if it would go against everything they've worked for, even if it would kill them.

Collar Full by P!ATD: This one is pretty easy, I think both of them could be singing it at once. They're both awfully head over heels for each other and they've been pining for an ungodly amount of time that their natural state is just Yearning, but they know that if they ever got together it would be a chemical reaction that would destroy everything. All of the world is watching them and they have to hide it or die, they know if they were to be open about their secrets there would be nothing left between them to stop it from all falling apart, so they'll try to be together and try to pretend to be oblivious to why they can't. At this point though, it's been so long and all they've done is fall farther that they don't really care and they would rather collide and let the chaos happen just for the chance to embrace each other. AND "You've got a pocket full of reasons why you're here tonight, so baby tonight just be... the death of me" is LITERALLY JUST THE CANON

Hell by Dear Sherlock: I cannot believe how lucky i was to come across a song by a band called DEAR SHERLOCK? But yeah this one basically delves into Liam in the final problem, in his thoughts and in his letter. He's not in a good place at all, and he's sunk to his darkest, thinking himself to basically be the devil incarnate, and things are coming to their climax, shit's going to go down, and he's obsessed with trying to get Sherlock to kill him and end it all. Liam has been holding back all his emotions for a long time and they're all going off at once and he wants to expose all of them to Sherlock alone, leaving him vulnerable. Even though it's the thing he's always been most scared of, he craves it. He knows he's in love and he knows that's a problem but he'll do anything to die at Sherlock's hands at this point and he's convinced that Sherlock must hate him enough to do it but he'll confess everything anyway.

Achilles Come Down by Gang Of Youths: Surely, everyone knows this song, and it can be way overdone, but once again... it's them. Sherlock is desperately trying to convince Liam not to jump. Liam isn't listening.

Come With Me by Chxrlotte: I've actually made a sherliam amv to this song. I just happened to stumble across it and every single lyric fits perfectly into the storyline, especially in the anime. It's super soft and shippy yknow but this one is definitely Sherlock singing it- he doesn't care if they're supposed to be on opposite sides, he wants to make Liam happy even if the whole world is against it. He'll cross any line to reach him and he wants to always be there for him and even if he has to wait years and years he'll always forgive him and no matter what he believes they'll eventually reunite.

It's Alright by Mother Mother: Man, this song always gets me, but I think this really encompasses how good they can be for each other after it all goes down. They've both been incredibly reckless, self destructive, and kind of fucked up. They each have complimentary problems that make them feel like they're barely worth being alive. But because they love each other so much and they want the other to survive and be happy, neither of them is allowed to die, and they're going to live on together and they're going to heal each other and they're going to cry to each other and embrace each other and learn to live with themselves and get better and fix everything. God, they need it so much, and they need each other.

In Our Bedroom After The War by Stars: Again, I know this song is overdone, but just imagine this after the fall? Imagine this when they're both healing from the fall and learning to live with Billy in America? And like, it's a really tentative time, they're all still hurting so much and Sherlock has got to constantly worry if Liam is gonna throw himself off the fucking roof? But he hasn't yet and it looks less and less likely that he's gonna, so that's one good thing at least. They're able to settle down and try to calm their nerves and get away from the shit that's happened, and they cling to a very domestic routine, at once still so broken but healing and constantly reminded of just how much they have to be thankful for.

Laughter Lines by Bastille: I've always thought of this as a song for nezushi (from no. 6) because of the whole eventual reunion somewhere far down the line yearning but GOD they REALLY DID THAT IN THE ANIME and even kind of in the manga they have still been separate from each other a lot and on like, other ends of the goddamn planet. They spent a long time trying to be able to reach each other and get together, and they finally got to a good spot where they're able to accept it. Because so many things happened and there was a lot yet to be done, they had to leave each other for a long time with no way to contact each other, but they'll be waiting for the time when the other can finally come back and they're both healed enough to settle down. Cries real tears.

#rowan gets yelled at #sherliam #moriarty the patriot

[thewritingstar]

Beautiful Revelations

Pairing: Gruvia (I know its been a hot ass min)

Fandom: Fairy Tail 

tags: @shellielyzabeth @be-dazzled @nostalgicxslumber @unvalley @tigerfire54

Note: It has happened. I have written 200 fanfics and idk if I should be proud or slightly scared. (feel free to skip this omg why is it so long) 

I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged or interacted with me in any way. I have always had a feeling that no matter what I write, I wouldn’t matter. But every comment and sweet note left made me realize that even if its just a smile or enough to make someone hit the like button, I made a small difference or added something to the fandom. Most of my fics are quick drabbles full of spelling mistakes, random thoughts and love for the characters. I know I don’t write very long stories or finish my wips (why are we surprised) but even though Im not someone people look to as a big author, each of you have made me feel special. There have been many times, this year especially that I had decided to give up writing. “Im not good enough and no one will even notice” Thats what I told myself if I decided to just back away. But every so often I would look and see that someone new or old had read my work. Every time someone reads something I wrote, I go back and read it too. I look at all the tags and see every comment and I stop and smile and remember how much joy it brought me when I first posted. 

When I first started writing, I thought that I wouldn’t have a place. Yet in a very short span of time, I was welcomed with open arms and people started to tune in regularly for my fics. I had been given many nicknames such as Gruvia goddess, angst queen, satan (yes I know the fic0 and well even Star. 

During my darkest moments, my mind lingered to my writing and to my internet friends. without hesitation I could message someone and feel better and be given the reassure I need. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me that people actually enjoy my writing and even me as a person. 

I thank each of you for giving me a joy that was considered a luxury at one point and allowing me to write whatever I wanted and you took it with love and made me happier than I have been in years. To all the people who made art or wrote me something, it means so much to me. 

Im not saying that this fic is my greatest but I think it has a special place because It shows the growth over time. 200 fics is a lot and whether or not they were all good, it doesn't matter because I did that and I can say that im proud. Im sorry for all that sappy shit but I wouldn't be where I am without you all. 

-Star <3 

ps: im not dying or stop writing fics im just happy lol 

---

  “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a               heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”

― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

---

It was the nights like these that she hated most. The cold would creep through the blankets and make her shiver as her eyelids hung heavy. She could be ready to rest, let the sweet dreams guide her but instead those dark intrusive thoughts toyed with her like a fly on a freshly woven web. They would sprout out of nowhere, tangled with thorns and hold her mind hostage as it injected its sickly venomized thoughts for the night.

She always wondered how she got this far. She was one of the highest members of Phantom Lord, her abilities had rarely been matched. If she desperately craved, she could walk down the hallways and strike fear into the other members, no one could touch her. Hierarchies became a custom here. Once you made it to the top after clawing your way with blood, sweat and probably more blood, you were a god. Yet she walked in and in the next few minutes she was at the table with the master, already receiving a promise that she was special, a delicate and useful ally for the guild.

Special. What a swollen lie that turned out to be.

Maybe that's why she never bothered to search for a light, something to cure the rain. For every life she had bruised or ended, she wanted to feel the pain that followed. She needed to know the consequence of her actions, to be held accountable for ruining another family or taking something from the innocent. Instead she was celebrated.

The days turned to months and she found herself years later not knowing what anything meant anymore. Life used to be black and white. She would walk the side of the kind and good and now she was treading through a swarm of a morally gray compound.

These restless nights, she loathed them but then again, suffering was something that came naturally to her. The only person to ever knock her down was herself.

She climbed out of bed, fuzzy slippers over her feet as she walked to the bathroom. Her headache had worsened and she stared into the mirror. She had looked at herself a thousand times but… have her eyes always been that blue? No, she was tired and her vision was fuzzy, she was fine. Cold water came to her hands as she turned on the facet and splashed her face. Everything was the same as it always was. Expect for today.

Her order was simple. Defeat whoever stood in her way and make sure the Phantom Lord got Lucy Heratfilia. Why did they want some mage? She didn’t know but she was never one to second guess her orders. To go against what she was told was a waste of time, she would have been dead by the end of the day if she did. She had once believed that they accepted her with open arms, that Phantom Lord truly cared about her well being. It was a lie. A bitter sweet lie she allowed to remain in her head.

Hundreds of opponents had come before her. She was accustomed to the way of a battle and had harnessed her skill at a young age. The pure power of the rain pushed her further. She had an unlimited amount of power around her, unlike others, they would run out of fuel. She began to crave that god-like power. Allow the storm to rage on, all she had was herself and the droplets that followed. She understood she was an outcast. Love was never an option, not for someone who brought gloom everywhere.

But this afternoon, fate was a funny thing. She walked onto that rooftop, winning was the only thing on her mind, but he was there. A man who didn’t back down, a man who saw her as an equal.

Her heart began to race. It was forgien and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She had felt attraction before but this, this was different. Something as small as a single glance had already spun her mind into a muddled mess. It would have been better if she turned around, if he didn’t engage in the fight. Then maybe she wouldn’t be thinking of him like this.

Love at first sight. That wasn’t real. No one could possibly have that happen. What could drive someone's emotion so wild that they become attached to a person in such a short time? And yet it happened. He stood there waiting for the next move and she could only gaze at him with rose colored glasses.

An enemy. A traitor. That's what she would be if she dared to let him escape. She couldn’t hestatite, she never did and now she was frozen in her spot as ice magic danced around her. Peoples magic and abilities never intrigued her, but this, this was beyond anything she had seen.

The light reflecting off of the ice as her droplets froze before her eyes was breathtaking and she hardly noticed that she was losing the battle. She never thought rain could look, dare she say, beautiful? But in this state of its frozen glory, it was all she could think about. She envied those who never had to stay in the rain, a jealousy she didn’t want to admit had festered over the years and she gave up trying to despise the element. But before her was something much more than the state she was accustomed to. Ice. The solid purity of her own and she had wondered what it would be like to hold it in her hands.

She had water locked him, pulled out all of the stops and even with that, he stood again and again. He had screamed that the water was boiling, burning his skin but never before had the water gone above warm. It was usually ice cold on the tipping point of freezing but she could feel the warmth surrounding her.

It shocked her just the same. She had heard people talk about feeling the sun kiss their skin, the warmth spreading as they walked, this was the closest she had felt to that. This warm rush of water was beyond what she had known and yet even as it tinged her hands it felt good, it felt freeing, it felt right.

It burned in a way she had craved for so long. Something other than the fridgeness she had grown used too.

She stared at her reflection in her mirror, tears brimming her eyes. How could one person she just met bring her something she had never felt before? She shut the light out in the bathroom and walked back to her bed, passing her window, she stopped and turned.

Above in the sky was the moon. A soft white glow surrounded the orb that she had never seen before. It was breathtaking. A cosmic power the normal people of the world didn’t dare to worship now became a luxury. The sky was clear and she could see the stars, she could sense them all. How could she have lived her entire life never once seeing the moon and the sun? She had been cursed to live in the rain forever.

But he-he made it stop.

When he grabbed her arm, it was like time had stopped. As if everything she had ever known was washed away and all she could see was a bright light encasing him. She was content knowing her death was coming, there was hardly a reason for her to live. Perhaps she wasn't even living, just surviving day after gloomy day.

He pulled her to safety, her back against the roof as she panted heavily. Those clouds above her moved like a curtain for a show, parting just so that she could see the enchanting mystery she had always craved.  

She had never known a blue sky till then. The brightness was almost unbearable as she stared into a sky she had never known. So many emotions flooded her head but it was clear as those ice crystals that her heart was beating for him. She was his enemy, they made that clear from the start but he hadn’t hesitated to save her. He showed a mercy she had never come across.

Another tear fell as she sat on her bed.

“He saved Juvia.” She whispered to herself. A horrific thought came to her. Would she have saved him? She didn’t want to know the outcome because deep down she believed she was good. Beneath the surface of unremosle power, there was that scared little girl who never had anyone to care for her.

The amount of days she sat in that orphanage alone sewing her dolls and praying that the rain stopped one way or another, it was as if she couldn’t remember it. He had done the impossible. He showed her the sky she hadn’t seen. He had shown her kindness.

A thought came to mind as she stood and packed her things. No more would she be known as “the rain woman”. No more would gloom be her only trait. She was determined to find something much more appealing than those bowing by fear. She wanted love. She wanted that warmth of the water constantly and the feeling of the sun on her skin. She understood it now. There was a power strong than her, stronger than any wizard that surrounded the other guild.

She had vowed to be done with love. Promised herself that no man could hurt her again. She was trembling at the thought of being vulnerable once more. The only time she felt warmth was the scorching burn of a fiery rejection and words that burned like lava. It was too much for someone to handle. So she pushed it down, locked the key and threw it as far as she could. The temptation though. The idea of letting her guard down for someone, someone she barely knew? How she fantasized of that moment. She had once believed that someone of her past had done that, but they were all the same. Ashamed of the rain, the rain she caused, the pain she brought.

And after their fight when she collected herself and tried to run back towards her guild, he stopped her.

“For what it's worth I think you’re an incredible wizard. You may not want to believe that your guild is dark and bad but, Fairy Tail is always open.” He had said it with such sincerity that she wasn’t sure if it were true.

“Juvia thinks your magic is just as powerful.” She had said before he gave her a smile and turned away to go back to his other guild mates.

And here she stood, a suitcases packed in the night and a note left on the desk. This guild didn’t deserve any words. Not when they feasted on her ability. Harvested those negative emotions and almost made her fall into the deep end.

She knew what they would say. They would call her a coward. A traitor and a worthless wizard, at first it was enough to stop her. Make her stay and perhaps bring back the clouds. However what he said stuck in her mind.

“I would rather die fighting than let your guild have Lucy! She is one of us and we don’t leave anyone behind.”

Without hesitation he made it clear that every member of the guild was valued no matter how long they had been there, they were a family. If something like that would have happened, if she were threatened, her guild would let her die without a second thought.

Never again would she allow someone to have a hold over her. She spent too many years sheltered by pain and deviation to go on like that.

She grabbed her bag and closed her door.

--

Juvia stood in front of the door. The morning would be better to do this but it was beyond dark outside and she didn’t want her intrusive thoughts pulling her back to her old guild. Softly she knocked, maybe hoping that he wouldn’t hear it and force her back to the isolation of fear.

The open clicked open and her eyes widened slightly as a sleepy Gray leaned against the door frame, shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

“Juvia?” He blinked and watched as her cheek puffed out in red. He looked down to see that he was only in his underwear and let out a yelp as he grabbed a blanket off the chair. “What are you doing here?”

“Um Juvia thought.” She paused and looked towards the ground. “Actually Juvia apologies for disturbing you.” Her back was to him and she began to walk away.

“Wait!” His hand caught hers and he pulled slightly. A jolt of warmth spread through her, burning her like a thousand suns as well as the chill of ice from his own temperature. She looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Juvia, please just tell me.”

“Such kindness.” She whispered to herself. Her heart rate sped up just like it did earlier and she swallowed a breath. “Juvia was wondering…why did you save her?”

His hand dropped her as if he were shocked that she would dare question his action.

“I wasn’t going to let you die. Enemies or not, I don’t think you deserved that fate. I don’t believe that you are this evil person your guild made you out to be. To be honest when you fell, you look like you didn’t care what happened and I guess I saw myself in you.”

“You saved Juvia because you know what it's like?”

“To feel lost and hopeless I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Sometimes it's hard thinking you deserve to live, that it would be better to harbor all the pain of your past. I don’t know everything about you but that look in your eyes. I couldn’t let you go knowing that there was a brighter future ahead.”

A tear dripped from her eye. Her smile was soft as hugged her arms to her body. “You knew Juvia would join the guild.”

“Well I wouldn’t say I knew, but I was hoping that you would. If you still want to, that is.”

“Juvia would be honored.” She bowed respectfully towards him.

Gray smiled and bowed back. His eyes faced the sky looking towards the moon. “Have you ever seen it?”

“Tonight would be the first. Juvia thinks the stars are remarkable.”

“Lucy knows alot about them, I think you two would be good friends.”

Juvia shook her head as regret twisted in her stomach. “Juvia accepts your kindness and compassion but she doesn’t know if the rest will. Juvia was her rival, she understands if everyone doesn’t see her as a friend.” She frowned slightly.

A laugh came from the ice mage's mouth. “That's the thing about Fairy Tail, no matter where you come from or what your past may have held, there's always going to be a friend waiting.”

Juvia nodded. “Thank you Gray. Juvia will talk to your guild master tomorrow.”

“Like I said before. You’re an incredible wizard, you’ll be just fine.” He winked.

“Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

She watched as he entered his house before turning around and walking towards her hotel. Her shoulders felt lighter and she held her head high for the first time. This was her step in the right direction, this was where her new life began.

Time had slowed and allowed her to pause. A beautiful revelation she never knew could exist came to mind as she just realized that she was in love.

---

She looked down at her leg in the mirror. The voices behind her had faded to the background as she became entranced with the mark of Fairy Tail.

“The blue suits you.” She turned to see Gray standing there with a smile as he was focused on her guild mark.

To say that she was grateful was an understatement. Her mask she wore like a crown had shattered. It unravels in his hands as the months went on and all that was left was the person she wanted to be. She could finally let go of her ghosts, her darkness and begin to forgive herself.  

---

“What do you think?” He asked her as the white sky fell with snow.

Gray had told her of a special spot he used to go to when the first snow came. Past the forest was a clearing of grassy hills that would soon become a winter wonderland. Laid out on one of the hills was a blanket and a few lanterns.

She held her hand out and felt the tiny snowflakes collect on her hand. He sat behind her, one arm snaked around her waist while the other hand rose above hers and created a small flurry of snowflakes.

“Breathtaking.” She gushed. This was the first time she had seen snow fall. Her eyes followed the ice magic as it formed a heart and blew into the sky joining the other flurries. She turned so she could meet his eyes and his normal content face was replaced with a smile.

He leaned forward until their noses touched briefly. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He said and she only had a moment to process his words as his lips landed on hers and her eyes fluttered close.

Her hand went to his cheek as she leaned towards him, her energy matching his and all she could hear was the thumping of her heart. She would be embarrassed to say that she might have dreamt of this moment a little too much but it didn’t matter now. All she knew was that her beloved felt the same.

---

For once she was happy to hear a cry. That little whimper bubbling from the baby's mouth, her baby, she was in disbelief. Perfection was a rarity. No one was perfect, but the being with a tuft of dark blue hair and grey eyes would beg to differ. A child was never in her future. The thought came up randomly but the idea of raising a family wasn’t even a question.

During her missions in her old guild, she would walk past a family. She would see happy faces on everyone and would only be filled with envy and hatred. Disgusting was what it was. How could you love someone else when there was no love for you?

But times change. She would see others holding their child's hand and feel a warmth in her heart at how the children beamed up at their parents. She could sense the love all around them and would smile herself, hoping that it might become a reality for herself.

She would wake in the middle of the night, not from her demons but for her new reason to live. He would babble and tug at the locks of her hair and giggle when water magic danced before his young eyes.

---

It was nights like these that loved the most. The soft rays of moonlight casting shadows through her window as silk sheets wrapped around her bare form. She used to spend nights alone, only her pillow to catch her tears and now delicate fingers trail her backside as she listens to the thumping of his heart. His chest rises and falls as her own follows the rhythm. Her eyes flutter close as her tiredness grows untils it's interrupted by a cool press of lips under her ear.

A peaceful sigh leaves her lips as she tilts her head up to meet dark eyes gazing at her. Flushed cheeks was something she wore often and she lifted off of him to move further up and meet his lips with hers. He pulls her back to him, hating the emptiness between them and adores the way she shivers when his thumb traces her guild mark.

Their love was honest and raw. She had learned that nights like those in the past would haunt him as well. They would keep him up and plague his thoughts with images of death and destruction. But now, they lingered in the shadows, always there but something brighter and beautiful guarded them to peace and she focused on the way he breathed her name then the tears that dropped.

There was an overwhelming amount of happiness that she had gathered after all the years she spent in Fairy Tail. She found friendship and family bonds. Love in all forms that she cherished deeply. Her powers were seen as a gift to help others and lend a hand, not twisted into medled lies that she had spent so long untangling.

Her lips pulled from his slowly and their breaths settled between them. When she looked at Gray she found something more. She had freedom and rebirth. Forgiveness and lust wrapped into something more than love. Their bond was stronger than she could have ever dreamed and when he left kisses over her skin she wanted nothing more in life than to stay frozen in this moment.

He did the impossible. He opened a door, shined a light through her darkness and allowed her to accept the fact that she did deserve to live. She could cherish moments and keep them as her own without the threat of corruption. Her life was now her own to command and she did it with such grace and beauty that Gray couldn’t imagine her being any different. 

“I love you.” He promised and there was no doubt in her mind that he meant it.

“I love you too.” She responded.

The beautiful truth was that she was finally at peace and loved herself. 

---

I hope that you all enjoyed and thank you for being so lovely <3

#Gruvia #Gruvia fic #gray x Juvia #Juvia x Gray #Juvia ft #gray fullbuster #juvia loxar #fairy tail #fairy tail fic #thewritingstar

[foegold]

people be wanting to know about a lil blue bastard. this ones long as hell so its under the cut jsdhfg

Your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

farmer! he’d just keep living the way he’d been living. it’s the sort of life he imagines he’ll return to one day, after he’s seen and done enough. ‘enough’ is a really arbitrary end goal though

Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

who in the party wouldn’t he trust with his life tbh. in the most literal sense he’d trust Eli with it just because he knows Eli can bring him back from dying in some stupid and ill-advised way

What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

frogs are good, try to be nice to people but if they’re mean to you first then at least a few bets are off, the rich should probably be eaten. killing is sometimes necessary but maybe try some other stuff first

What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

he doesn’t have any siblings, and his relationship with his mom and recently present dad is. a little weird, and not all the way comfortable, and not like really bad, but just confusing? it’s confusing. at least he’s had more transparency from his mom recently than just about any other time. it’s a start

Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

he trusts other tieflings a little quicker than other races but its not really saying much because he’s not smart and if you’re good at talking and sound like you know what you’re talking about he’ll just believe you. he doesn’t have the good sense to second think it without prompting

What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

so far just about every interaction with nobility has been messy or bad or scary or all three so right now the opinion is “not great”. also thats just too much money. whaddahell would you do with that much money.  he’s generally uneasy with authority figures at best, and flat out paralyzed by them at worst. he’s easy to bully when he doesn’t have anyone backing him up and he knows and hates it

Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

he cycles through an assortment of sweaters but the one he wears the most is the heart sweater he got in Wunjo that’s been altered a few times in the last few months. he do keep collecting those scars tho, before starting adventuring he had a handful of minor scars just from working around the farm with the animals and the equipment and from romping around in the country. now he’s got all sorts, but the most prominent ones are: the thin scar on the left side of his face, starting just below the eyebrow and curving gently below his eye (the last time Leo would leave a mark on him); the twisted angry scars across his torso from being mauled by a giant undead horse(?); and the fluid, patterned necromancy scars slowly spreading across his back, creeping along inch by inch

What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

besides his own house, Roman’s house has been the nicest! its warm and theres soup and friends there. there was a run down little ranch house somewhere at some point, but he’s not so sure anymore that he didn’t just dream about fixing the place up with his best friend

What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

he doesn’t have a god he actively worships, but he’s peripherally aware of the god in the mountains that’s responsible for some of the most brutal storms in the region. he doesn’t care much about religion but hes got the same amount of concern most people would have about evil deities and what their followers do

If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

probably woodworking! its handy, it’s useful for living out in the country where you have to either make the tools or furniture or fun items to put on a shelf you want, or go out of your way and also spend money to get them. maybe an actual alchemy set and/or poison kit but 1) playing with poison just a fun hobby for him and Xan to get into when they have the time and the plants for it, and 2) man he wouldnt follow the instruction manual anyway so whats the point

What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

will his friends be okay? will he be okay? is there an FAQ for tieflings learning that they’re much closer to fiend lineage than they originally thought? that would be convenient and helpful. is john gonna figure out more about the little men named ‘adam’ that’re allegedly everywhere?  if he could know one thing about the future, he’d like to know if everything will end out okay. if things will turn out as nice as he’d like them to.

What colors are associated with your character?

looks at the camera like im on the office

blue, white, and black are the big ones but im trying to pepper in a few other colors. reds and yellows are a close second

Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances?

everyone sits squarely in the #1 spot on the rescue list

that aside john and roman are extremely high priority, they’re not the sturdiest and if something looked at them too hard they might keel over. baster and xan come next, he knows baster’s a shit brick house but he keeps seeing bad things happen to her and really hes just had Enough of it. eli’s a little lower priority because they can heal themselves if they’re in a tight spot, and then blu considers himself least concern. he knows he can get thrashed around some and still survive, he’d rather take a beating and know he’ll walk out of it than let someone else take it and wind up dead

Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

pathos, it’s easy to make him feel for u. legit any of them work though as long as you talk it up good enough he’ll believe you and if there aren’t any glaring conflicts between what you’re selling him and his base morals then it’s relatively easy to get him on board

If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

idk probably something really simple that he put all of .5 of a second of thought into. hes not smart and doesnt have good foresight so he’d probably ask for a frog or smth unless there was something very much more pressing and present

What is your character’s favorite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favorite personal weapon/combat maneuver/skill/etc.?

favorite(?) spell is life transference. it hurts a bit but it keeps his friends safe so it’s worth it. invisibility is up there too, its fun and easy to steal from stores when ur not visible

How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

he doesn’t like lying and also lies really poorly. he’s usually just honest from the get-go, its easier and feels better. if he has to lie its through omission, bold faced lies really just dont work

What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

all sorts....bro the world is full of animals and lots of them like to be pet

When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

he thought he’d grow up and be a farmer like his mom, the adventuring thing was extremely unplanned and impromptu. he hoped he could be a kind and brave person though, the way Canna described his dad.

The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

random roll says it’s Roman, he’d probably laugh because the only reason that would happen is because the party is fooling around with potions again. Roman’s very married and very in love with his husband and makes sure everyone knows it all the time

If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

that doesn’t seem like a very viable circumstance, the only npc thats important enough that he’d listen to for something like that is his mom and she actively encourages him to take care of himself and his friends, and lets him make his own decisions about what he’s doing with his life, so

What unusual talents does your character possess?

idk if its all that unusual of a talent but he got really good at stealing and pickpocketing and he can do a sick flip. also does some black magic sometimes

What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

it’s his name, u kno. bluebell is his middle name, but Canna called him bluebell growing up and he latched onto it a lot more than arden, and he thinks its a nice name, and a nice flower, and it sure would be nice if people would stop laughing when he introduces himself as “Blu”,

(blu was originally a stand-in name until i named him something else but it really grew on me and it fit him so! it didnt change, he just got other names too)

What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

The Moon. 👀

What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

he’s def scared of magic sometimes, especially his own. he also really wants to understand it better though, and be less scared, or at least control it better. imo it’s a healthy fear, theres been lots of magic mishaps 

How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

he learned common and infernal from mom! and he’s learning draconic from xan. it’s a nice downtime activity, sit down with ur best friend and homie and learn a new language just for fun

#asks #hohg.....thats a lot of questions lksjflsahfdg #c: blu

[akalegos]

Could you tell us a little about your characters?

Y E S !

but due to me having at least over a thousand characters I’ll just give a quick summary of the 25 I manage to dig up over 3 sketchbooks.

Y’all can pick and choose which of them interest yall or who you wanna hear more about!

Also because I’m extra, I made sketch icons for the 25 characters, info under the cut

I’ll talk a bit more about my actual Original Characters first, starting with

Aiko! Otherwise known as Echo

- A marked individual in a steampunk world that gets mixed with magic, because I like both of those things

- Echo runs an underground lab that does helps the underground world with replacing body parts, illegal surgeries etc etc

- Even though she marked, which puts a bounty on her head already, she is well respected by the community for not cheating for your money, stealing your cash, or shanking/killing you mid-surgery

- however, Echo does long for adventure and sometimes do get bored in the lab

oh yeah,, Echo like stealing eyeballs, so if you’re low on cash and wouldn’t mind losing an eye, you know who to call!!

Bonus:

Here’s Echo’s boring, undeveloped sidekick!! I don’t like her and I don’t know how to make her better. Yes, she doesn’t have a name.

here’s my god playboy that left “heaven” due to having an early mid-life crisis, I call him God boi cause;

- He goes by many names! 

tbh, he’s probably the closest character I have to being genderfluid/-neutral? I’m not sure,,

- The god has many powers, from lightning to shapeshifting

- The shapeshifting part allows him to change every part of himself, allowing him to change depending on his situation.

- God boyo, or originally Aristide, is obsessed with the idea of perfection. A god should be perfect, if a god is out of line, he is no god. 

- Same goes for him, which means whenever something is wrong with him, it affects him, extremely

However, leaving the land of gods to live among humans aren’t all perks

- Aris isn’t immune to diseases or injuries. In fact, he actually fell down and died on impact when he came to earth, being reborn into another child immediately.

- He doesn’t gain his memories back automatically tho!! He has to have a major shock to the brain in order for him to remember his previous lives

- Sometimes the shock isn’t enough either, when you have a thousand over lives, you won’t remember every single one of them. So forgotten lovers coming back to haunt because your brain hates you? That’s everyday for him!

i just,, i like playing with the concepts of god,,

Up next we got Ayeka Himura! A japanese student going to a neighborhood, but still a pretty good, school living close to poverty due to her father’s constant spending habits and obsession with art supplies. With the household lacking a mother due to wacky shenanigans, Ayeka takes care of her two younger siblings and the house, all while maintaining a very well-paid job and slowly loosing interest in actually studying for a good, honest job.

also she likes birds!!

Yes her design is heavily “based” off Toga but I love her current design too much to change it, h e l p

So like,, I suck at chinese and I made ocs that exclusively spoke in chinese to help with that but I’m still stuck at 40~marks

I forgot his scar but remembered his earring i hate myself

my og chinese kiddo! he was was first to come and I love his design ever since

he radiates fuck you energy except the girl below. He’s neighbors with her and they acknowledge each other existence ever since. he has a dumb cliche crush on her and is a bit protective of her because nothing says having issues than latching onto someone that makes you happy

Only this girl got named!! even tho she was the second character.

Li Shen, yes she doesnt have a surname, is apparently main ho now, according to my old oc chart of my “main” ocs

She’s the group’s resident sweetheart and really does not want you to do stupid shit, stop doing stupid shit. She tutors my son up there ^^ even though he’s actually smart and just refuses to do his work properly. But she still deeply cares for him.

As well as the girl below shdifhd

the last girl of the ching chong trio and the reason I had to switch up my son’s design is this girly over here! Her design was too business-y and formal so I enrolled all of them into college. A rich girl who doesn’t know how to deal with her g a y thoughts. Tried sending Li Shen some flowers once. She didn’t realize attaching her name would be a good idea and son got a good laugh.

i like paranormal stuff so they apparently look into that shit in their spare time. They’re all actually really fun characters to do prompts with I swear!! send some in and I’ll write them

I had a previous concept for son and Li Shen before last girl came and if yall want me to talk about it,,, i found my sketchbook with the old ideas,,

NEXT UP IS MY OLD GIRL ELORA!!

Elora herself used to be a fan character but I pulled her out and wow\

cant fucking believe she used to be straight for Vylad

shes the outgoing, fun adventure type! bit of mommy issues here and there tho,, I don’t want to say too much since I have an entire for her +

her now upgraded bro, Vincent

i really like the name vincent,,

also now he has mommy issues

Ead, the knight who used to have armor

I hate drawing armor 

he also have issues

AND IRIS MY SWEET GIRL IM SO SORRY

she doesnt have that much issues tho

basically I made elora and her bro have mommy issues, I’m sorry in advance if that spoils anything

I, sometimes, post about these 4 over on @eloradiesismydocsname​ and its a gay ol’ time

not that gay tho because uhh,, medieval times,, but I need prompts for a modern au of them and I am happy to talk about their personalities and even go semi in-depth for any of them!!

here we have ghoster.png,, which is her file name cause I didn’t name her,,

A horror enthusiast + film student that goes to a supposedly haunted shack to film her upcoming project with the boys. wacky shenanigans occur and the boys left leaving ghoster here to starve and eventually fall to her death. But because it’s my oc i get to bring her back from the dead, now hungry as ever and will fucking eat you, its not a kink thing, shes just that hungry and angry

tax fraud.png

a robo girl that i created during social studies cause they were talking about taxes and i just went, “what if,, a robo runs on taxes,,, and like,, she haunts you down for not paying your taxes,,” thus she was born! I don’t know what to name her but she is set in the future so-

Time to go future-apocalypse style because I love that setting too and was upset that I didn’t have any ocs in that style. So I created Alex A. ! A cybrog filled with memories of the previous generations as a sad attempt to preserve human life.

He’s accompanied by his sister/cousin idr i didn’t draw an icon for her, didnt like her design. they go on a hunt for food and to return with nothing. She gets to meet this other dude who has a plant arm im pretty sure i based him off someone’s elses oc but i cant remember. The 3 are forgotten. Kinda want to bring them back tho.

Neon! A character set in the future utopia of lazy people, where gamers rise up. its the best I can describe her story without getting too deep. She the new hacker on the block, joining the underground gang of elite hackers. She’s another one of those wacky characters that just has fun. I mean, when you know your way around codes and the world you live in is full of it, would you not take advantage of that?

as for fan characters,, uhh,, i have em

STARTING WITH MY WIFE!

Alexzandra Zara oh my god i forgot to draw her necklace and shirt

anyways,, Alexzandra is one of the more older ocs I have that didnt get a big revamp. Only an au I develop to the point I forgot the actual shows and the original cast are a little different from the source haha what? She’s the emotionally unstable german war veteran, yes the wife thing isn’t mutual, and haha shes only 27~. I cling onto her so much?? She’s hits a lot of “edgy” points but I still love her cause idk,, the story I made for her is something I hold dear cause Alexzandra was one of my first ACTUALLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER. Is it wrong to say I hold her really close to my heart? Is that weird? probably a little cringy sorry haha. I probably project a little into her which might have strengthened my love for her ack. Her story delves more into the depression very unstable needs to talk to someone side and i get scared talking about my wife’s story online so uhh, idk ask me specific questions about her, I’ll be more inclined to talk.

Dr Watts! The spoiled ass dick that stole dst Wilson’s house and yes this is a dst oc, yes im slightly sorry.

He’s just fun?? almost ran a blog with him and a friend’s oc. He’s your typical uptight old science gramps that took advantage of the fact that no one knows his real name that he calls himself a doc. He’s not. I put everything about him up to a 9-10? He’s one of those wacky characters and I love him for it! His story is really wonky tho so might need help solidifying that part 

and from the angry old man to my sweet man that will adopt you even if you’re noisy or call him ginger. Pilot here is a TF2 OC I made to interact with other tf2 OCs cause some of them are fun and i wanna join in :((

He’s the Canadian stereotype, and yes, he adopted scout, that was one of my character notes. 

Like the actual cast of tf2, there’s barely any real story to him. I only gave him a vague I don’t know my past but hey, i fly really really well. He participated in war unlike certain men but he’s still really nice and will only kill you if you hurt his family. Which he doesn’t know so he just considers the cast his family. He keeps mentioning a wife though, pretty sure he doesn’t have one but you do what makes you happy son.

Ai! an oc I HEAVILY revamped oh my god i hate her old vers. So if yall remember my random shouting of missing my og son, Aru. Here’s his bff. cause he barely has any actual friends that give a shit. And I just cant have that. but here’s your yandere revamped into a last minute addition. I actually feel like I did Ai a lot of justice. I don’t want to delve too deep cause I will start making charts. I’ll do that in a separate post if yall are keen

Isamu Aena! a mp100 oc I made by accident cause idk,, I was thinking about lolita fashion and all of a sudden, the actual oc I was going to make turned into a mob psycho oc. She’s one of my few ocs where her sexuality matters (she’s gay yeah) cause it plays a role in her storyline. She went from being “manipulated”/used to Mob’s wingwomen. She spots out things that can help him in the romantic department cause she’s into romance. A student of the school Mob infiltrated and a fantastic tailor, not to mention a pretty decent pyschic. wait where do models get their lolita stuff from,,

im gonna ignore that and move onto Lillian Yi! Who, i swear i did not meant for it, is very close to lloyd. I mean,, none of the ninjas were with him after s3, who you think he’d meet. Lillian is a survivor from the Great Devourour and yes I’m still pissed LEGO stole my backstory for Lillian to use for Harumi. FUCK YOU LEGO, i still love both of em tho,, The event did leave a big scar and it made Lillian job jumping for a bit, ending at Chen’s Noodles in S6~, where ya know,, stuff got better. She was a medalist for gymnastics and continue the activity, even after her parents’ death, to please others. She was already lost at the time so staying in the sport would help, right? Needless to say, after being rejected at a cop academy for youths, or something similar, she gave up for a while but got back into the idea of saving people by using her skills she already had. It helped with the weight and feelings and meeting the green ninja was a very big bonus. Also Lloyd dubbed her the “mysterious stranger” when she refused to speak in fear of her identity, slight shame, and maybe a bit of being star struck. It helped Lloyd too in a sense where he had something to distract him from Zane’s passing.

 Their relationship was eventually formed, strong and almost unbreakable, except for harumi but uhh thats a different story. Throughout the seasons, they stayed close and lloyd was always comforted by Lillian went times get ruff.

Also Lillian is my most light-hearted characters and I think that says a lot

Then there’s Nite “I don’t want to be your dad”. A character that is supposed to be in the ninjago world but barely interacts with the main story and only stays in his self contained plot. He was supposed to get a bf but uhhh idk. He’s the master of shifting and streams that online, taking out small crimes, and is actually really shy and doesn’t like interacting with people.

also haha fortnite

Nora Akino, the sin of despair! its an ad thing, I think. She speaks only in a foreign language that only Odin understands and is either big gay for Ava or Maggi, she can’t pick. And yes she did drink the vial, when TITAN attacks your planet and you accidentally die, how else can you meet your family again? also my grandpa walked in and said she looks like royalty. cool-

she wouldn’t leave my hand for like,, 3 days or something

Petri, a fellow troublemaker at camp campbell’s music camp. She managed to pick the camp because apparently a parent who doesn’t acknowledge your hard work don’t read the fine print! Please let David adopt her,,

LASTLY! Yukimaru Atsuko, hero name; Gummie. She goes by Yuki and is a big dick. She’s a studious student but gets more thrills on the actual battlefield. Living with her uptight grandma and her big bottom energy bro, she has the dom energy thing going. and apparently folks on G+, or the people who comment about her, thinks she’s really pretty, which was oddly a thing back before UA. She’s the dick you can like, not like Bakugou but she will definitely want to fight Bakugou. 

A gum-related quirk is not full of perks when its only your hands. I’d dive more into her like her insecurities and stuff but I’ve been here for probably 3hrs. Sorry anon.

Also I’m so sorry to anyone who reads this all the way through.

#not an ask #bkanvas' ocs #ocs

[pinkletterday]

The Flash 5x4!!!

I am HYPED, you guys! FINALLY WE FIND OUT WHAT'S UP WITH MOMMA AND BABY.

Whatever it is Im going to deeply empathize with and love both of them.

Idk who this stupid af bitch is running straight into a blazing hail of fireballs and trying to take selfies but I hate her.

Iris. Iris. Baby. Hahahahaha Nora knows what a disaster her Mom is in the kitchen. I love you sfm Iris.

Hey Nora this version of your Mom just met you so hold back on the teenage sass, okay?

Ok this isnt funny anymore my heart is aching for Iris.

Young lady sit back down and eat that breakfast your Mom made for you.

"Make you a banana" lmaoooo this is why Barry does all the cooking. Gawd I love the domesticity.

I love that Iris can't cook. It just adds to her perfection. I guess I really am a fool in love, huh?

Oh God this guy. Shut up shut up shut up. Did this buffoon just call Cisco Ramon not brave???

I wish Ralph would take the lead here. That's right, I like Ralph now. This season is magic.

I would find this softball thing adorkable and hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that Barry is literally the Flash. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Would have been much more interesting if Barry had turned into a star athlete overnight and everyone just boggled.

Otoh it provides an interesting (read: hilarious) look at their dynamic growing up. Their different dorknesses cancel each other out.

I am irked. Why is the Flash a hopeless athlete? HE CATCHES KNIVES OUT OF THE AIR. How does he just switch off his co-ordination?

Kinda nice seeing all the ladies together like that though. Cecile is a gift.

NORA IS A GAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A BABY QUEER IN THE HOUSE aaaaaand you are seriously trying my patience here. Be rude to your mother one more time. See how that goes.

Oooh Momma Bear is on the case! *hearteyes*

See, Baby Giraffe is already better at this than The Fraudulent Frenchie.

I hate to say it but based on that lumberjane chic I think we have another queer in the house. But this one we don't want.

Loool "like her size extra small". I hate to say it but thats a way better reason for her codename than "excess" ugh.

No it was different because she never knowingly put the people she was writing about in danger you asshat. God I wish you weren't so pretty.

Another black man wrongly accused. What up, America.

...Joe what. You guys. Jesse Martin looks bad. IS HE OKAY I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED.

Momma coaching Baby through speedster things! Because Barry taught her that one time she was a speedster. I can't handle this. My heart.

She FINALLY thanked her! Iris's smile.

My girls. I can't.

OMG SOMEONE REMEMBERS EARLY EDITION! I loved that show!

Also. Iris West, ace reporter, always better than fake hoes. Watch and learn, padawan.

Am sad we're not getting any Cisco Ramon. I hope Carlos is enjoying his mini-vacay. Otoh, I really like that Caitlin is included in the West-Allen circle this ep.

I wonder why Nora doesnt call Cait and Cisco Aunt and Uncle. They must be the godparents.

It's okay Ralph. Some leads don't pan out. If Shitloque was an actual detective he'd know that.

But I love that the heroes of Central City can walk around in public and interact freely. Oliver's team would need to break in and scare the bejesus out of some poor unsuspecting sod.

NORA IS A DISASTER LESBIAN CONFIRMED. Or probably a disaster bi like her Dad. I AM LOVIN' THIS.

THAT MOMENT WHEN THE PENNY DROPS FOR BARRY THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS A GAY LMAOOO

Fuck I love that Iris never even blinked when Nora said Spencer was cute. She probably sussed it way before. I love you Momma West-Allen.

Oh no oh no I was right. Iris pulled a Joe West. Goddamn it. I mean I get why, I get how traumatized and scared she must have been but IRIS NO YOU DON'T LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN TO PROTECT THEM. Remember how you felt when your Dad did that to you?

I am legit heartbroken, you guys. I really wanted to be wrong. I blame Joe West's goddamn patriarchal shitty parenting for perpetuating this cycle of lies.

I swear to God if this show tries to justify lying and manipulating your kid again I'm going to give up on it. It's triggering as all fuck (I still havent recovered from S1 and 2) and I need Iris to be held accountable when she fucks up, not let her turn into another Fefe who can do no wrong.

Jesus Christ Iris, trying to force a conversation with Nora by invading her privacy and ignoring her need for space is not okay. BOUNDARIES, girl.

Oh okay but she's holding herself accountable thank fuck. I mean, Barry's right she can't be blamed for what she might do in the future but IT'S STILL WRONG.

I was actually shaking. Friendly reminder that survivors of parental abuse and manipulation are also watching this show, some of us with CPTSD.

"What if my Dad did something like that to you"?? Er. Iris? Remember when he lied to you for twenty years about your mother being dead and you didn't talk to him for six months?

Oh here we go. You've stood there like a gormless beanpole for three episodes without so much as trying to intervene Barry and this is how you choose to comfort your wife. Not "yes, it's a bad thing and we can't know what led you to the choices future you made but in the here and now you know not to. We can learn from the future and make different choices, Iris."

PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT, CAITLIN.

...I just meant for frightening Caitlin, but he actually wants to be punched?

Ooooh that was satisfying! Pretty sure her form was all wrong but can't argue with the results.

I love how fucking competent Iris is??? She knows how to use the entire STAR Labs tech arsenal. Although that Vibe device kinda defeats the whole purpose of breechers. It's like if they had a device lying around that could give just anyone super speed.

Not sure how Spencer thinks XS can kill Flash. One's a n00b and the other is veteran.

Wait, Baby Flash can do what now?

I don't like that they had to dumb Barry down so much to give Iris a chance to shine. A couple can both be competent at the same time! It's called being a power couple! Not one-half Idiot Ball couple!

So her phone got powers? Huh??

Ah yes. Dark Matter. More multi-purpose than Quantum.

Okay cool Ralph is getting his due. "Less right" LOL

"That puts meta-human powers in the hands of anyone" kinda like having a Breeching device, no?

We have meta-humans, meta-phones, meta-daggers (a tech dagger??) HOLY SHIT WHAT IF THE DARK MATTER HIT A HOME DEPOT?? How many people now have meta-vacuum cleaners? Meta-dishwashers?? Meta-can openers??

Oh God. No. Not this.

No. You do not lie and manipulate your kids to protect them. You do not do that. Love is no justification.

Don't Barry don't. Stop stop.

I can't watch this. FUCK YOU.

FOR GOD'S SAKE SHE'S CRYING AND SHAKING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO COMFORT HER AND MAKE HER FEEL SAFE NOT STAND ON YOUR PILE OF BULLSHIT WITHOUT GIVING A FLYING FUCK.

No, cry all you want. I have no sympathy for either one of you callous asshats. You fucking destroyed that girl. Fuck Joe West for having raised you to think this way.

Yeah no Joe West is not who you want to go to in these matters, Nora.

I don't even care about Cicada anymore.

I should have known this show would never get any less gross.

Look, I was fully prepared to be sympathetic to Iris, traumatized, alone and single mother to a meta-child in a dangerous world to have made some bad decisions. And I do empathize. But I wasn't prepared for present-day Barry and Iris to justify and rationalize that shit. I thought they were going to say "That was a bad thing your Mom did. I'm sure she thought she was protecting you but she may have lost sight of how much it hurts to have your choices taken away from you. But I'm not that woman, Nora. I know I could never bear to see you hurting like this. I can still make better choices. Please give me a chance?"

Not "No I am your Mom and everything I do is right and good because I love you, I'm sorry if you feel hurt about it but them's the facts."

They did this when Barry and Joe lied to Iris all through S1, when Joe lied to Iris about her mother. This show is still all about apologia for lying and manipulation because LOVE AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND TO PROTECT YOU BY DISRESPECTING THE FUCK OUT OF YOU AND TAKING AWAY YOUR AGENCY.

Parental love is not a justification. Most abuse takes place at the hands of parents who really believe they're doing it for their children's protection. Please never say "your parents have every right to hurt you to protect you because they love you". Do you even care at all.

I'm not okay. Gonna take a break from fandom for a while. Can't deal with people taking Iris's side to protect their Westallen feels. Fuck both of them.

I'm posting this but please don't engage me to argue about it. Massively triggered.

#this started out so good #why did they do this #fuck westallen #my heart is breaking for nora #fuck this whole damn show #the flash #5x4 #liveblog

[dajoezenone]

TEXT REVIEW OF INFINITY WAR

UNFOLLOW ME IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THESE SPOILERS I DONT USE THIS ACCOUNT SEE IF I CARE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Seriously this is gonna have spoilers go away if you dont wanna see. 

I liked it. Kinda want to see it again and may change my mind on stuff at a later date but I want to get these thoughts out while they’re in my mind. 

1. STORY STRUCTURE:  The structure of this film is weird? But not really. It makes sense once you realize Thanos is the main character. Act One we’re being introduced to all the different heroes, which is done masterfully and paced really well so we never feel overwhelmed despite the sheer size of the cast. Act Two starts once Gamora tells Star Lord he may have to kill her, and then Thanos is re-introduced. I’ll come back to this later but I dislike that there’s a good couple scenes where its just GotG characters interacting with each other with no Avengers around. Like this is an Avengers movie. Couldn’t SOME Avengers character have been around for this Like this is a crossover why are these characters still with just their regular crew? Anyways from then on Thanos’s POV takes center stage. Once Gamora is dead Thanos, like Thor, has nothing he really cares about left to lose. He’s at his lowest, despite also being 2 stones away from infinite power. Act Three begins with him this way, recalling to Doctor Strange his origin, and reasserting his resolve to go through with this. He beats both of the split forces of the Avengers, one on Titan, and the other in Wakanda, and despite nearly being beaten three different times, he manages to snap his fingers. We see the results of the world he’s created, while he sits back and watches the sunset. 

I like that they decided to let Thanos win and kill half the universe. I know it’ll traumatize a lot of kids watching the movie, but like, these things are rated PG 13. There have been sex references and character deaths and such in these for a long long time. Its the big bad final battle for the Avengers and they needed a cliff to hang on and so they hung people. I dont believe the people turned to ash will stay dead, but I didn’t expect a happy ending either. PLUS this gives us time to really focus on the characters that need more room to finish their arcs in the real finale. 

I like the way the movie is structured. It doesn’t feel overcrowded and it makes a lot of sense when you realize its Thanos’s movie not any of the heroes’. And it helps make Thanos the most developed bad guy in any MCU film. SPEAKING OF WHICH. 

2. CHARACTERS: (the long one)

-THANOS: The best bad guy in any MCU film. Not my FAVORITE bad guy in an MCU film though. Loki still holds that title, and if we’re counting the Netflix shows, Fisk and Kilgrave are still PRETTY dope. Thanos is WONDERFUL. But I neither love him or love to hate him. I appreciate what was done with him though. He earns his place as the biggest threat in this universe, despite a lack of real competition. You feel his struggle, even though you really want him to fail. Its really well done. Cant help but wonder why no mention of his love for Lady Death though? I at least expected Hela to show up and be like “SURPRISE IM LADY DEATH” or something idk. We never saw her die in Ragnarok. Is that really not something they’re gonna at least do something off of? 

-THOR: despite spending MOST of the movie on what is basically a side quest, he’s the hero who gets the most development. I figured that the way Ragnarok was handled was done specifically to set this up and I got what I expected to fall out from that and then some. I love his arc in this. I love his conversations with Rocket and I love how powerful he is now. He’s just really well handled and I love how he’s developed as a character. Also, side note, I like that each Avengers movie changes which of its members gets the most development. Cap was the one who was still finding his place and going through an arc in the first one, Tony is dealing with paranoia and being the one to create Ultron in AoU, and Thor is still dealing with the death of his people here. 

-TONY: I have less to say here. I hate nanite tech being used in pretty much anything. idk why it just bothers me. It always feels dumb. but it was fine here actually. I love his conflict with Strange and Peter and the other Peter. I love that he has to deal with watching everyone else die. The whole movie plays on your expectation that Tony is going to die in the end and then COMPLETELY subverts that and I love it. 

-DOCTOR STRANGE: Great. Comes off a little more of a jerk than he does in his own film but we also mainly see him through the eyes of Tony, so I think thats why. I love his magic and how smart and calculated he is in combat compared to the other characters. The Russos are VERY aware and very good at showing the characters’ character traits via how they fight which is good considering how much action there is in this movie. 

-SPIDER-MAN: I swear he’s more competent here than in his own movie. Also we see SPIDEY SENSE GO OFF which we NEVER SEE HAPPEN IN HIS OWN MOVIE. He still doesn’t REALLY feel like Peter Parker though which is weird bc he almost did by the end of Homecoming and now here he just kinda reverted back out of that.

-GAMORA: Really great. Somewhere in between Guardians 1 and now she stopped being every single one of Zoe Saldana’s characters in anything ever to being a pretty fleshed out character. Though its kinda weird that Thanos’s other children in this movie are so much more loyal to him than her and Nebula are? Like whats up with them? Why is Gamora the favorite when she openly hates him? 

-STAR-LORD: Great. Not much else to say. 

-ROCKET AND GROOT: ALSO great. They’re especially great as sidekicks to Thor. They have some great exchanges, even if their screentime was primarily spent on a side quest. I nearly squealed when Groot used his arm to create the Stormbreaker Axe. I’m annoyed Groot died again at the end. WE’VE SEEN ROCKET MOURN GROOT’S DEATH BEFORE THIS ISN’T INTERESTING OR NEW.

-DRAX AND MANTIS: pretty good. I like them both. If anything there’s probably too much of them. I love them so I cant complain too much but like idk I feel like we saw more of these Guardians side characters than some of the Avengers main characters in an Avengers movie. 

-WANDA AND VISION: Wanda has always been one of my fav characters in the MCU and that doesn’t change here. Her romance with Vis is great. Honestly I love her whole arc and I love how its foreshadowed by Gamora telling Quill to kill her earlier in the film. Wanda having to lose the closest person to her AGAIN is emotional and sad and everything and idk Elizabeth and Paul give great performances and both do a great job playing some good characters. Vis is basically a damsel in distress the whole film, which seems disingenuous because he’s like the most powerful avenger prior to Thor’s buff over these last couple movies. But I guess it makes sense in context. They’re not GREAT but like I said I like them so I’m biased. 

-CAP, FALCON, AND NAT: Kinda useless tbh. They dont do much. They dont even have many lines. Like they fight in the Wakanda battle. Thats it. They’re tired and grumpy because they’ve been on the run for TWO YEARS. Something we dont see at all. Not that thats what I want to see, but... they’re basically just there to shuttle Wanda and Vision to Wakanda and then fight a bit. 

-T’CHALLA, OKOYE, SHURI, AND M’BAKU: Even quieter and less notable than the Cap crew. Which really cheapens how much of the film takes place in Wakanda. Like, why does the Cosmic stuff feel authentic to what James Gunn built in the Guardians movies, while this stuff feels so underwritten and underrepresented? We have four Wakandan characters here and they do so hecking little. AND THEN T’CHALLA IS ONE OF THE PEOPLE WE SEE TURN TO ASH. WHAT? WE ALREADY GOT A FAKE OUT DEATH WITH HIM IN HIS OWN MOVIE. I HATED IT THERE. WE GOTTA SEE HIS FAMILY DEAL WITH HIM BEING DEAD AGAIN??? Shuri better become black panther in avengers 4 man. thats the only way I’ll be ok with him dying a SeCONd TiME. 

-BUCKY, RHODEY, NICK FURY, MARIA HILL, LOKI, RED SKULL AND HEIMDALL: all play really small parts but manage to do their jobs and be really notable anyways. Shoutouts to them. 

-BRUCE BANNER: meh. Bruce has finally kind of accepted the Hulk but Hulk is scared of Thanos so he wont come out. So Bruce spends the whole movie in his head having conflict with himself and not really engaging with whats going on? Kind of a dumb choice imo like if CAP is a minor character whos mainly there to banter with other people so should Banner. We dont even really see him interact with Ross or Rhodes once he gets back to Avengers HQ. dumb but not a big deal. 

3. SMALL DETAILS:

-Music was weirdly lacking from a lot of the movie. Like it feels like Silvestri only orchestrated like half of the film. So much of it is just left.. quiet. Empty. This is INFINITY WAR. IT SHOULD BE ALL ABOUT THE SPECTACLE. 

-Are Valkyrie, Korg and Miek still alive? We dont see them at all on the Asgardian ship? 

-What happened to Sean Gunn’s character? Also wasn’t Nebula still with the Guardians at the end of Vol 2? Did I miss something or...?

-How did Thor know to go to Wakanda? He should have been going to Titan to meet up with Quill, right? 

-How does the Bifrost work if the Bifrost is broken? That was a big thing in Thor 1 wasn’t he? 

-They didn’t get Hugo Weaving back to play Red Skull but thats fine I still geeked out when he showed up. 

-Peter Dinklage was good but he was in the movie too long. Thor’s stuff really felt side questy even though its the best stuff in the film. 

I think thats about everything it was good but not GREAT k bye

[possibilistfanfiction]

hey jude!!! just read ur last anon abt being nb and wondered if u could talk abt ur own gender experience?

well basically i didnt grow up in a very open household, like rly Zero discussion of gender, so i know i Experienced gender entirely but i played almost exclusively with the boys in my class until probably grade 6 or 7, & at puberty, even tho i was a better athlete than most boys in my class still, i started hanging out with girls more, at recess, etc. i was always into androgyny, even if i had no idea (& i didn’t) what that was—i liked some femme things, absolutely, but i wanted nothing to do w skirts or pretty shoes. i wanted to be in adidas running sneakers 24/7 if i could help it, & i wore a uniform to school w the option of a skirt/pants, & im p sure i always wore pants. at the time this, to me, seemed more functional, & it was, but it was also, as i can understand now, something that made me feel Less like a girl, although not at all like a boy.

when i was older, 12, 13, 14, my parents wanted me to dress nicer, & i was v much into like american eagle shit, although by mid hs i was into some vintage stuff. one rly big odd style influence for me was mia wasikowksa in this weird movie called restless bc it was this v soft femme androgyny & i think for me this kind of gender expression became very important to see & understand. it wasn’t that she didn’t look like a girl, or that she wasn’t a girl, but she also sometimes looked like a boy, or wore boys clothes, but she wasn’t butch. idk this movie sent me for a loop honestly lol. 

& obviously my understanding of gender expression didn’t correlate (& doesn’t correlate!) w so many gender identities, & “passing” is extremely harmful as a notion, etc. but when i was younger my understanding of gender & sexuality was very limited & began to expand when i saw very femme but still andro ppl, even tho i couldn’t articulate it at the time. 

when i was a teenager i knew i didnt want to rly have a single thing to do w any boy, which made me sure i was a lesbian bc thats the only narrative i’d rly known abt queerness, or queer women, or even queer ppl who presented as femme. there werent any out lesbians at my school (no fucking way), & the only out queer kid at all was a white gay guy a year older than me, who was popular in the way white gay boys can be popular in high school. but i read voraciously, was fascinated by the crossdressing in shakespeare (paris in the merchant of venice was a particular fixation of mine?) & anyway. i knew i was queer, i knew i liked girls, & i knew i was outrageously uncomfortable w my body, particularly my breasts. for a long time i thought this was because i was ashamed of my sexuality, when i came to sort of understand that, but ofc now i know abt dysmorphia & dysphoria, so yknow. knowledge.

when i went to college i came out big time, & it became very important to me to both be queer & look sort of queer but not queer enough to be Queer—i wanted ppl to be like ‘maybe into girls, but maybe straight.’ as im sure many of us know, this was a lot of internalized shame abt a lot of things, so that sucks. however, i cut my hair which was like the first comfortable thing i had done for my appearance in a v long time, & also smth which my parents hated & i did anyway. i wore a Lot of rly femme stuff bc they hated it tho? so this was all v confusing for me bc my parents are v homophobic, & here i was in college starting to read queer theory & gender theory & falling in love w like. the most beautiful, brilliant girl, & also spiraling into a mixed episode after i got diagnosed w bipolar I, which sort of put everything else on the backburner for a year. 

eventually tho i sorted that out (as much as u can sort smth like that out) & i started to rly pay attention to androgyny. i went to europe & i think theres a whole bunch of nuances to fashion that exist there that certainly arent here, & i spent a winter in warsaw so there were aspects to fashion & expression there that were entirely abt functionality, which i was v attracted to. in college, as well, & especially after college, gender became smth i was v much invested in bc i was (& absolutely am) a feminist, so my place in the canon & zeitgeist was one as a queer female writer. it was so so central to who i was, & what i was writing abt. every single thing i wrote in college was in some way a balm, some sort of piece abt myself, learning abt trauma & the body. sorting through a lot of hurt. i could write a theory piece abt elizabeth bishop & reading it back now i know it was also abt me, that kinda stuff.

when i went to toronto i rly rly started being invested in looking critically at gender & my experience of it bc being read as a woman was smth that was grating on me, even tho i had identified as woman for so long, & had no desire at all to transition. i know 100% i am not a trans man, so that was confusing for a long time because i sort of knew there was a space between but it was very hard to conceptualize. eventually i sort of came to understand gender is a color wheel where cis boys are blue & cis women are pink & then theres literally a ton of other colors out there, so yknow. lots of different experiences of gender. some days i feel much more strongly like i identify w women (in mostly political situations, it matters to me to be read as “female” sometimes bc rights for ppl w vaginas AND trans women are FUCKED UP in so many places). some days i hate the idea of identifying as a woman. i also never want to identify as a man. so when i was in toronto i rly started to know a LOT of queer ppl w so many different expressions of gender. & we were all young & lovely & open & fucked up & we would get fucked up but we would also go read together in the park & wander around alleys in the snow & like. there’s a Muchness to toronto that i experienced that helped me, personally, understand these intersections between my own sexuality & gender & expression as much more than just a gay woman who isn’t butch & isn’t femme. i was rly lucky to become part of a community that identified as Queer, & so i became v much understanding of these different aspects of my own identity that fell outside of binary—my sexuality, my gender. Queerness is a vital & profound thing to me & i was rly able (& so fortunate) to have a close friend group of mostly queer ppl & then a few of the actual literally most incredible allies i’ve ever known & will ever know. 

so then from there i just rly kinda thought abt things & like i got a binder & stuff in TO but rly started to evaluate my dysmorphia & dysphoria (i had struggled really badly w an eating disorder in/post college) & was able to sort out that so much of it had to do w feeling uncomfortable in the way my body was read in the world. & that will always happen bc i LOVE makeup & i have a “feminine” voice & sometimes i love skirts & i shave my legs bc i like how it feels sometimes & i dont ever want to go on T—none of these things make anyone ANY gender, but ofc theyre coded as “female.” but i’m learning to just yknow educate where i can & take a lot of solace in the community of ppl i have fostered who support & understand my Being. i’ve also allowed myself to be invested in aesthetics & fashion & how much a role that plays bc like. yah fuck Yah i look cool shit bc my friends love it & absolutely i wanna wear the same vans maia mitchell has & i want a melodrama hoodie & i LOVE local toronto designers & their angsty patches abt sad songs & whiskey but i love fashion born out of histories that is connected to smth i can understand, like queer punk movements, or smth my friends & i share, like blundstones (which are gender neutral, which is cool). i’m fascinated in how ppl express their Selves, & we are so unfortunately Finite in our bodies in the sense that that’s rly how the world, in our day to day interactions, processes who & what we are. so i invest in the care of mine by trying to listen to it, trying to make it comfortable—& clothing is a huge thing that can do that. also its fun so anyone who thinks loving (ethical, cool) fashion is vain can eat my ass

anyway lmao now i have a p decent sense, atm at least, of what makes my body its most comfortable (even if that is v far from Comfortable at times). i love my tattoos, & i basically never rly want long hair again i’m p sure, & i love makeup, & if i could wear vans or blundstones every day for the entirety of my life at this point that would be incredible. those are easy things, & i try to allow my body, in its cultural place, to have access to them as much as possible, which is so important to me in a sense of having access to a physical space that matches my mental space of gender identity. politically sometimes i feel v v much a “woman” in terms of my lived experience, & i allow that of myself as well. sometimes when i write it’s important to me that my poetry be read as a queer person but also someone who is culturally coded as a woman, bc those are still always central concerns of my work—the trauma, the power there. but day to day i’m mostly happy spending my time obsessing over other things, like what to call this new genre of music halsey & lorde are making, or why my dog stevie is a Fanatic when it comes to ice cubes. ive come to enough terms w my gender, & my sexuality—& the expression thereof—that unless someone is talking abt gender, or someone asks me a question, it’s not smth that is constantly on my mind, which is. Nice. its so nice lol. 

also i would like to point out that i know my experience being non binary is rly rly white & western in so many ways & i get that. my cultural experience of non binary gender is also v much this like. ive felt frustrated before but never in my life have i felt scared to be non-binary while i was like out & abt in the world, bc i still pass as a cis white woman literally everywhere all the time (which has its pros & cons but like, still, a lot of privilege). so i do try to keep all of that in mind as well when i try to center myself & all that jazz

& who tf knows where all of that will take me. i feel like, bc ive learned to listen to my body & my brain so much better than i did when i was younger—even when they might hate themselves—i am so much better at filling up a space in the world that occupies smth healthy. which is not smth i take lightly, & i’m also so open to changes, as long as they feel good & beneficial & true. which is sort of new for me. who knows man ur mid twenties are a wild ride 

[eluu-chan]

All of them :3

dude…..SURE

ive missed out the one’s I’ve answered already

200: My crush’s name is: Dia Kurosawa

199: I was born in: 2003

197: My cellphone company is: Virgin Media

196: My eye color is: kinda a blue/green colour

195: My shoe size is: 4

194: My ring size is: uh idk

193: My height is: 5″2

192: I am allergic to: Nuts

191: My 1st car was: N/A

190: My 1st job was: N/A

188: My bed is: beautiful

187: My pet: is adorable I love her

186: My best friend: I dont like choosing a single best friend tho, like I love all of you…

185: My favorite shampoo is:  Tea Tree Head and Shoulders (Mint)

184: Xbox or ps3: I have an Xbox but I really want a ps3/

183: Piggy banks are: cool, I have like 5

182: In my pockets: uh, sweet wrappers, a tissue, and my tablet pen

181: On my calendar: ‘DO NOT FORGET ANIMATION ASSIGNMENT: APRIL 21ST”

180: Marriage is: cool :0

179: Spongebob can: uh

178: My mom: is gr8

177: The last three songs I bought were? I don’t buy songs cuz I’m poor, but the last 3 songs I downloaded were: Jingo Jungle (Sago of Tanya the Evil OP), Snow Halation, and To Be Free by Tonight Alive

175: How many cousins do you have? 7

174: Do you have any siblings? Ye

173: Are your parents divorced? Nope, but they aren’t married either soo

172: Are you taller than your mom? Almost!

171: Do you play an instrument? Nope

[ I Believe In ]

168: Luck: yes good

167: Fate: uhm idk, pretty sure it wasn’t fate for me to fall in a river

164: Heaven: I’d like to think there’s a place where people can party when they die

163: Hell: Satanism is fun so sure

162: God: idk tbh

161: Horoscopes: Sure :)

158: Gay Marriage: LOVE IS LOVE

157: War: WAR IS BAD

156: Orbs: ???

155: Magic: Pls let magic be real

[ This or That ]

153: Drunk or High: i aM 14

152: Phone or Online: Online

151: Red heads or Black haired: BOTH IS BEAUTIFUL

150: Blondes or Brunettes: BOTH IS BEAUTIFUL

149: Hot or cold: Cold

148: Summer or winter: Winter

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate

145: Night or Day: Night

144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges!! (But i do prefer apple juice over orange juice)

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds ofc

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip Flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and rich because then i can support loads of good charities and feed my weeb addiction

137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Burried or cremated: Buried

134: Singing or Dancing: bothe are awesome, but probably singing

133: Coach or Chanel: ???

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:???

131: Small town or Big city: Small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target: uh, whats the English equivalent?? Asda??? Lidl???

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: uh idk tbh

128: Manicure or Pedicure: uh I’ve never had either so

127: East Coast or West Coast: again i am English so

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas!! Birthday means i get older and gain more responsibility

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox: ??

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: BAD

121: George Bush: its temping to make a joke but i’ll resist

120: Gay Marriage: YES GOOD LOVE IS LOVE

119: The presidential election: orange man is bad

118: Abortion: ITS UR BODY YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT

117: MySpace: every 90′s kids emo phase

116: Reality TV: hmm, can be good

115: Parents: some parents are shitty, others are good

114: Back stabbers: pls do not do that to me because i will cry

113: Ebay: i use it to get cheap anime merch yes good

112: Facebook: i would destroy facebook for a single crisp

111: Work: RESPONSIBILITY AAAAA

110: My Neighbors: lol idek who they are

109: Gas Prices: from what I know, they’re pretty bad

108: Designer Clothes: if you can afford them, then yes good

107: College: Better than high school

106: Sports: n o p e

105: My family: eh, alright i guess

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: TWO WEEKS AGO SOMEONE HUG ME

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today!!

100: Cried in front of someone: 13th March

99: Went to a movie theater: oh boi, probably last year sometime

98: Took a vacation: this time last year

97: Swam in a pool: this time last year

96: Changed a diaper: not since my cousins were little

95: Got my nails done: I’ve never had them done

94: Went to a wedding: when i was 8

93: Broke a bone: I’ve never broken a bone

92: Got a peircing: I don’t have any aaa

91: Broke the law: I don’t think I’ve ever broken the law?

90: Texted: hmm a day ago

[ MISC ]

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my bedroom aaa

87: The last movie I saw: original Ghost in the Shell

85: The thing im not looking forward to: i’d rather not say what it is but It’s tomorrow

84: People call me: weeb. mother, elu, eli

83: The most difficult thing to do is: social interaction

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Capricorn

80: The first person i talked to today was: my buddy Ilona

79: First time you had a crush: when i saw Rize from Tokyo Ghoul

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: idk, i hide lots of things from everyone tbh

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: hmm not long ago

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: be cool

74: I have/will get a job: Yea i need money to live

73: Tomorrow: is gonna be bad

72: Today: was great :0

71: Next Summer: ew heatwaves please no

70: Next Weekend: i will sleep for most of it

68: The worst sound in the world: someone screaming in pain

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: uh, my OTP

66: People that make you happy: ALL MY MUTUALS AND FOLLOWERS

65: Last time I cried: heh, like a few days ago when i was discussing some particularly sad headcanons

63: My computer is: kinda good i suppose

62: My School: is shit

61: My Car: i dont have one (yet)

60: I lose all respect for people who: at extremely homophobic, racist, or sexist

59: The movie I cried at was: i cry at everything

58: Your hair color is: a weird light auburn colour

57: TV shows you watch: a bunch of anime, oo and i watch the download festival coverage each year, and if my mum is watching some drama or soap i’ll probably watch for angst ideas

56: Favorite web site: I’m on it right now

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: umm not sure…

53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t like steak aaa

52: My room is: my safe place

51: My favorite celebrity is: this is no secret to anyone who knows me irl, it’s the beautiful Ash Costello

50: Where would you like to be: in bed

49: Do you want children: maybe, adopting would be cool

48: Ever been in love: nope

47: Who’s your best friend: ALL MY MUTUALS

46: More guy friends or girl friends: more girl friends

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: hmm idk, i’m pretty antisocial tho so

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: ha no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nope

41: Have you pre-named your children: no

40: Last person I got mad at: my sister

39: I would like to move to: anywhere not in a large city

38: I wish I was a professional: Tattooist

[ My Favorites ]

36: Vehicle: i want a motorbike aa

35: President: Obama

34: State visited: I’ve never been to america

33: Cellphone provider: okay but who actually has an opinion on this??

32: Athlete: Simone Biles

31: Actor: Daniel Radcliffe

30: Actress: Helana Bonham Carter

29: Singer: ASH COSTELLO

28: Band: BABYMETAL, All Time Low, Avenged Sevenfold, My Chemical Romance

27: Clothing store: Primark

26: Grocery store: uh idk, Asda i guess

25: TV show: American Horror Story??

24: Movie: the Blair Witch Project

23: Website: I’m on it rn

22: Animal: Chinchillas and Red Pandas

21: Theme park: aa i’m too scared to go on rollercoasters tho so i dont have a fav

20: Holiday: That time we went away for a weeks with literally everyone in my family

19: Sport to watch: Football

18: Sport to play: i guess volleyball is okay

17: Magazine: Kerrang is gud

16: Book: Lord of the Rings

15: Day of the week: saturday

14: Beach: there are like 30 beaches around her how do you expect me to choose

13: Concert attended: AVENGED SEVENFOLD WITH DISTURBED AND IN FLAMES

12: Thing to cook: curry aaa

10: Restaurant: hmm maybe Frankie and Bennies

9: Radio station: Kerrang ofc

8: Yankee candle scent: COTTON

7: Perfume: pure poison

4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres

3: Comedian: hmm not sure tbh

okay I’m actually physically dead now

#asks #queen-of-pennies #long post

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

you know what who cares about clarity? have an incoherent ramble about pb, how she treats lemonhope, a couple parts about lemongrab, and proof that phlannel boxingday is the best Dad™ in the entirety of adventure time below the cut

I would die for phlannel boxingday he's so good for lh he is the Best father in the entire series and I almost cRied about it

there's a lot of shitty dads in advtime and a lot of dads that could do better but aren't like malevolent, and there's also phlannel, the best damn guy with the kindest fucking heart in the entire show, and he kills giant sentient birds for a living

Listen h

Wait am I about to cry rant about the one off character again

Yeah here goes he was so good he. I mean. I mean. He's so patient and understanding and gentle and lh nEEDS that h he was fucking broken up in his home and then pb spirited him away and put the fate of his entire family on his shoulders and treated him like he was Very Smart And The Chosen One But Would You Just Fucking TRY. and phlannel grabs him away and goes look. you're a good kid. and maybe you can save your family. but you can't beat yourself up over it, you can't put all that weight on your shoulders. you are able to go save them if you want but you are one of many champions in this world, and someone else will do it if you can't. and until then I'm going to keep you fed and clothed and be a person you can come to with anything, because I have no ulterior motives. I really literally don't. 

and every t ime he talks to him he talks low and gentle, he points things out like how he IS a smart kid he REALLY is he just learns differently, he doesn't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do like every other adult figure in his life has up to this point. he knows he has nightmares so obviously lh feels safe enough w him to talk to him about things like that, or he just pays attention and like. knows he keeps waking up screaming and instead of going "ha that's fine," he goes "kids shouldn't be waking up screaming so I'm going to keep an eye on it," he picks up on lh's concerns and gently tells him it isn't his fault when he drops things,

Like ok here's my thing. I know first impression pb is rly nice, yadda yadda I wrote a whole thing (didn’t post it tho lmao) abt how the Ugly Candy People seem to be the worse off ones and that might be her doing if it isn't just coincidence, and I don't feel like getting into that. but . here's my thing abt the lemonhope two parter and pb

Like first off I'm still pissed she put him in a Special School like. how transparent can you be. she's playing favorites and she's raising him for a specific purpose of being a champion. but it's not like, extracurricular champion school, bc she's clearly trying to also teach finn geometry. or maybe she's just. 

Idk but it seems really fucjibg phony. like. just set him up in a school where he can socialize and learn in an environment structured for teaching and socializing. I know lemon ppl don't Get Along With Others but like. singling him out is just. mmmmm don't like that

Anyways so that's one thing but like. she seems to be such! a nice and understanding lady right? she's soft and sweet and she's dangerous when she needs to be, but like. I know we all know she's kind of a dick and she monitors everyone in her kingdom closely to the point of creepiness, etc etc we know. but like. u know what really gets me in the lh two parter is just. how ......inconsiderate? she is maybe? 

like . yeah she wants to fix what went wrong (lg’s cannibalism and like tyranny etc). she can't or won't do it herself ('can't' meaning she's legally not allowed to, but what the fuck is lg gonna do to her? she can destroy him with a fucking flick of her wrist and literally the only person gaining anything from him locking up his kingdom on every legal level possible is himself if that, and we all know his earldom is quite literally overpopulated.So she has nothing but principle stopping her from barging in and demanding he stop, to protect all the other citizens he's hurting. He'll do anything she asks. like maybe once it got bad he wouldn't, maybe he started to realize she never cared about him and she never would, but honestly even if he did start to realize that, if she fucking walked in the door and said she needs to talk he'd be putty in her fingers. he'd listen and do everything she asks of him, and none of the lemon people are gonna fuvkinh stop her. they either know to fear her from lg or stories or experience, or they just know she's their boss's boss, so to speak, and would deliver her right to lg or just let her pass. Right? unless lg has them on orders to like. kill on sight or something. but those poor kids aren't any match for pb and pb's no idiot, she'd take backup or she'd straight up murder them. there's literally no reason for her to not go. she's gonna respect politics now? NOW? She's a fucjibg monolith and she does whatever the fuck she wants no matter what kingdom she's walking into, and now that her son is hurting every single person he's ever loved, NOW she decides she Can't Just Interfere? Fuck you) but uh since she can't/won't do it herself she needs lh to. ok. fine. But like. over and over she repeatedly treats him poorly, like...... like yeah ok she isn't Being Mean but. idk. you take a scared little kid out of his abusive family, then you repeatedly make him see what his siblings are going through now that he's gone, and tell him over and over that it's up to him to make them stop being hurt?

The lemon people are all just babies ? like ok they're not BABIES they're their own ppl but . but they're. so young of COURSE they believe what pb said and what lg2 said, that lh needs to come back for them; HE got away, so so can they, and he's gonna be the one to do it. They're poetic and tragic like the fire kingdom, but grittier and less pretty and performative. of course they'd latch onto the only hero they were given.

but like. to lh it was probably more like. this lady came and took me away from my family so they'd stop hurting me, but she left all my siblings behind, and now she's telling me I have to be the one to save them? lmao no you do it yourself. you did it once you can do it again.

so uh

so lh's adult interaction so far seems to have been like. 

wait was he one of the ones they made originally or is he a second gen lemon person/ someone lg2 made with lollipops like in that one fanfic 

assuming he was in the FIRST BATCH because I'm mean I guess, his adult interaction has been two people who adore me with all their hearts but can't figure out how to feed me-> probably some affection in here somewhere bc he had to get that harp from someplace -> guy who fucking electrocutes us and other guy who's too scared to stop him -> oh shit what the fuck -> lady who got me out of that situation but won't save my siblings and keeps pretending I'm someone I'm not

u know what, I think that's her whole problem

she made lg to be her heir, that's good, but he didn't act how she expected and she couldn't figure out how to support him, so she sent him away (much as I like to say she did it bc like. neddy was antisocial and scared of ppl too and he was ok if he was kept alone so maybe that was all lg wanted too,,,,, like there was still no reason to throw him at the very fucking edge of ooo aight. get him a house in the grasslands or something.). she tried to help him, realized she was making it worse and actually hurting him, so she tried to help again and it worked, bc all lg wanted was to be loved and not to be told over and over (symbolically) that he was REALLY unwanted, but still begrudgingly needed bc he's the only heir to the throne. so getting a friend who wouldn't hate him for who he was was all he wanted. so she did good and kinda let it be for a while. 

but he also really wanted his mothers love, and he tried to act like her so she'd appreciate him or even notice him. so he makes kids for her, he realizes this makes him and his brother happy (HAPPY), and can't stop doing it because he's alone with his brother and their newborn children and no one's telling them to stop. she fixes it, she lets it be.

He's still unwanted. she still hates him. she hates ppl who don't act how she wants them to. she HATES the duke of nuts whose only crime is eating her pudding (possible she hates him bc he's just So Good And Kind, too, and it's fishy), she clearly doesn't treat all her citizens equally (do you see how trashed some of the backstreets are? I mean maybe people are just smashing them faster than she can fix them, but like. I don't know. I don't feel good about it.), she won't fucking talk to the literal heir to her throne (i don’t thiiink he’s been replaced yet?) except when he makes a mess and needs someone to help him fix it. and then she does it as minimally as possible. she sends fnj to fix it or smth. she just. Really wants nothing to do with her failures I guess. maybe that's it. he woke up screaming and needing things other candy people don't need, and she called him her own personal failing. maybe she feels like she let him down by not making him so he could be happy in her kingdom. maybe she blames herself but instead of working with him and supporting him, she gives him anything he asks for and otherwise avoids contact with him like the plague. 

Anyways so what she wanted was a cute, competent candy person to take her throne right? and she goes to his kingdom and she wanders around and like. no one here is her kind of normal. they're all ugly and deformed and squawky and everything's yellow. and to lg and lg everything is BEAUTIFUL, those are their beloved babies that they risked their lives to have, but she doesn't know that, she just knows that MAN those lgs are weird, and when I try to help them, they get mad and lash out at me.

by her first failed experiment she means the first one that made her feel like she was capable of making mistakes that ruin lives. like even if we call that one comic canon, with that Sweet Pink Goop she made before lg, that goop didn’t seem sentient, let alone capable of feeling the consequences of being alive and different from the other candy people

she looks around and she tries to figure out what she doesn't understand. right? in too old. like maybe getting away from them and looking around their house will give her insight into why her heir won't just act like her, won't just be normal and quiet and do what she expects people to do, why she can't figure out how to help him without making him angry (and scared and hurt), figure out what it is HE expects, because he's a person too.

And she finds someone who ISN'T deformed or ugly or weird, she finds someone who honestly wouldn't be out of place (looks wise) in her candy kingdom. and he's bemoaning his unfair treatment and he's dressed in rags and he's alone and he's young and he's talented. 

And he's what she meant to make in the first place. Someone soft and cute, but with whatever traits she'd been looking for in an heir, presumably. someone who can rule a kingdom decently in her place, even better than her, i have my own hcs about that lmao. he’s someone who doesn't flinch when she touches his shoulder, who doesn't have such a cold stare, or such a shrill and uninviting voice. he's small and he's young and he's soft and he's talented and he's being mistreated

and like. she saw other kids getting publicly electrocuted and she saw lg hitting his brother and she saw the fucking evidence of really violent mistreatment, and she went ":/" until she saw someone who she could sympathize with.

and lh isn't who she thinks he is. He's a lemon person, he's Lemongrab's son (or... grandson or like. nephew. I don't know. young relative or like juvenile member of his species.) he's not a candy person, but he looks like one. he's symmetrical and visually healthy. so she gets maternal and concerned, because now it doesn't look like lg's hurting people she doesn't want to even look at let alone worry about (asshole). now to her it looks like he's neglecting and harming a young kid. And they're all young kids, they're all pretty new, they're all people and they're all being hurt. but she can't bring herself to care what he does so long as he’s hurting people she doesn’t care about, that's his business; when she gets involved he threatens to kill her or he upsets her people or whatever. but when she sees someone who looks like a person, who looks like a person of hers, who looks like a kid and who looks like a healthy kid being abused (chubby and healthy but tattered and shock collared and locked in a bathroom, as opposed to like. another lemon person walking around in nice clothes and a shock collar) she gets him out

and she plays on his feelings, she goes, you're the kid I always expected to raise. you're the kid I was supposed to raise to become a shining champion of my kingdom. I made lg, and he turned out wrong and I dropped him as far off the face of the earth as I could, and now I have Finn to be my champion. but you, you need to be great, still. you need to be my shining star. You need to go back and do what lg2 told you to do in his Fuvking Dying Breaths, because like, suddenly me and him are on the same page I guess. 

I don't super blame lg2 for putting all that on lh's shoulders tbh. He's not much older than the kids, really, and like I said, they're all poetic and tragic. and lg2 was getting eaten too so like can you really blame him for anything at that pt. he doesn't know pb really, all his interactions with her were probably Not Bad but lg hates her and would also do anything for her so lg2 probably hates her a little by association. You're the one who hurt my brother and hurt him and hurt him and hurt him, why should I trust you to come get my children away from a dangerous situation? how do I even know if you consider this a dangerous situation? glob for all he knows she electrocutes her people too when they don't please her. for all he knows this is normal.

actually no I give him more credit than that. he might not know if pb considers it normal or not but the fact that lg fucking destroys his spirit when just months ago he was telling him he was the best thing in his entire life, yeah, he knows hurting your kids isn't normal, he knows hurting your life partner isn't normal, he knows maybe how lg came to this conclusion, but he won't tolerate it if he can help it

Anyways I love him?

so in conclusion pb treats lh like he's a candy person when he's NOT, and phlannel boxingday is the absolute purest most wholesome character to ever walk into that fucjibg TV series and he's the only one who treats lh the way he needs to be treated - like a person, like a smart person, like a person who's been abused and been put on a pedestal, like a person with his own needs and experiences that are different from maybe what you'd expect or wish. That's my conclusion. It's 11 fucking pm I need my dam slEEP

real quick summary bc I think I see where I was trying to go with this long ramble: pb's inconsiderate in that she treats him like a gifted candy person, not a gifted lemon person, let alone just a scared little kid who's been really neglected and abused. she at least seems to just kinda ignore the whole thing where he gets defensive and... grabby? idk bc he grew up in a house where he was hungry and ignored and hurt

idk

you give a kid who was raised in a house where he's always hungry and competing with his siblings for food two cupcakes do you really think he's going to share them

especially when it's very clear that you have many cupcakes

do you really think so

also just. if we go w saying a LOT of lg's quirks come from him parroting how pb treated him, idk she just. doesn't do a great job of not treating lh the same way. sure she apologizes when she calls him unacceptable but still I get the feeling she treats him more like lg did than she'd like to think.

#o #long post #abuse mention #because no shit of course there is i'm talking about lemonhope #hhhhhhhhhhhgh #adventure time #<-- for reference #if any of this doesn't make sense like.... you've been warned. if u ask me to elaborate you'll get another 3000 word essay so