#idk what I’m doing anymore y’all

[sluttyten]

My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes

#the fear tho lmao #what am I afraid of? I have no fucking clue #this is why I’m still questioning my sexuality lol like what am I? do I even actually like guys? do I like anyone? #in an existential spiral at the moment #but honestly why do they always ask for my number #like dude just give me yours and let me make the decision when you’re not right here in front of me #but I felt bad telling him no today just because the last time a customer asked and I said yes I almost immediately regretted it #and then that didn’t work out because I thought he was too young #young* and now he still sometimes comes by and I just feel awkward about it #maybe I should turn to Facebook and see if I can find him because I have set an age limit for myself and I really don’t want to entertain #anyone younger than that #but I’m……… I know I’m like never active in here anymore #but I just needed to talk about this somewhere #because any of my coworkers would probably tell me I’m being ridiculous or they’d just seriously keep questioning why I keep saying no to #customers that hit on me and my best friend would probably also not get it #idk y’all I just needed to rant about it/talk about it #anyway I’m definitely gonna stress over this until tomorrow #and I’m gonna feel really bad if he stops coming by

[starlooove]

When ppl ask why traditional men and women don’t get together the answer is literally so simple. Like these kind of women are all about misogyny until the disrespect comes. And I’m talking true degradation and disrespect; as in they want the man to make all the choices till they realize it’s ALL the choices. They don’t want to think until they realize they don’t GET to. It’s the same reason when ppl ask why ppl like Pearl don’t shut the fuck up since it’s not traditional for women to speak. Their entire view of traditional relationships is Pinterest Boards, Incel tweets, and 40s propaganda posters.

Like it’s all ‘why can’t I just stay at home and cook for the kids’ ok but what happens when you want to go out on a fun trip and he says no. What happens when kid A is sick with X and kid Z is sick with Y and there’s a parent teacher conference for kids L-P and once ur done with all that u have to have food on the table? Like these women don’t think it through at all, which is part of the problem btw like that bimbo resurgence shit is just another excuse for y’all not to fucking think, and then when it’s 30 years down the line and they’re stuck in loveless marriages (because these men don’t love them. They think it’s love but when they tell you to shut the hell up about something you were interested in before them it starts to click) they blame the whole damn world and it’s so sick.

#this isn’t anything new or revolutionary like I’m just sick of seeing the same shit everywhere #it’s not feminism fighting against the trad life btw it’s most definitely capitalism 🙏🏾 #y’all (✋🏻) have to work bc we (🙏🏾) don’t do that for u anymore #anywayyys #it’s just so funny #like not funny haha #funny these people are so unserious #and it’s crazy how ppl get comfortable in their oppressions once the bank is affected #almost like that’s the point #sometimes I think we’re making so much progress and then it’s like. we’re back to chapter one #THIS is what 101 feminism should be btw #like idk not to bring up Barbie #but like THATS not even feminism 101 #I already said this but like any class 101 plants the seeds of what you’ll be discussing #racism 101 WILL mention capitalism #even in passing #for example #any kind of feminist who doesn’t even glance at it right off the bat? #Idcccc #whatever this got disjointed #I’m not fixing it tho tgtgigi

[im-no-jedi]

*sighhhhhhh*

giving me access to draw whatever I want was a mistake 😝

#this is obviously just the rough sketch #and it won’t just be him #he has a companion with him #and believe it or not it’s not me this time 😝 #idk what I’m doing anymore y’all ROFL #my dark and broody bandana man #star warz #my artz

[sexynetra]

What if instead of finishing all my WIPS that I’m hoping to have out by the end of the year I started writing another Drabble about the fallout of a collapsing relationship and infidelity. Hm. What if 🤔 💭 ✍️

#thinking about my anarcia break up oneshot again #I saw a poll about cheating fics and went god. what if I did that again #pure angst no comfort #a couple that’s still together but they haven’t been a capital c couple for a long time #we’re dating but we don’t even recognize each other anymore #we’re both doing things we know hurt each other and we both know we should have ended this a long time ago and yet #also I was listening to that one TikTok ballerinas song and it’s so good she’s so good I love her and her music #anyways that song had the vibes im going for with this idea #anyways I miss writing angst #idk if y’all liked the breakup Drabble but I liked it and that’s what matters #I know Danielle was so mad at me for making Marcia a Cheater bur hey it was necessary for the story #anyways it’s 2:30 am and I need to go to sleep or finish writing my exchange fic and absolutely not start something new #anyways #would y’all be interested sound off in the replies or reblogs or tags or my dms whatever #Rachel rambles #writing #okay love you all mwah #also I posted this to my main by accident #and I had to painstakingly retype all these tags so if you don’t take the time to read them I’m jumping off my roof

[stardustvanfleet]

accidentally stayed up waaaaay too damn late thanks to this twindown i’m having…… oops 🥰 goodnight gresties i love y’all so much !!! ❤️

#shit at my restaurant job has been unbelievably crazy these past few days. like actually fucking insanity. #and my best friend at work just got let go because of all of it…… and like. goddamn. idk what’s going on anymore LMFAO #everything sucks at that damn restaurant and now it’s worse because my bestie is gone! #i’m just. showing up. making my tips. and leaving ❤️ #thank god i have my library job and i know i don’t have to be a waitress forever. this shit is exhausting as hell #and i’ve only been doing it a year! like. goddamn. lifelong servers are the strongest people alive #anywayyyy. work rant over. i love y’all!!! and i love my twinnies!!!!!!! #jakey 🥰 joshy 🥰 #thoughts of my moon and my sun keeping me goin through the bullshit!!!! #jake #josh #li speaks

[a-very-fond-farewell]

anxiety level: imma cry at the thought of finally having 1 hour to myself to just vibe 👯‍♀️

(time to write)

#lamb loose liveblogging #sneaky niki #ngl to y’all... I’m over ch 11 & 12 #I wish I could just overlook the details and be done with them already but no #no bc KOJ decided to make a surprise visit and idk what to do with this man anymore #also. sidenote. I am tempted to watch that drama where the actor plays Nina ;-; #but ik deep into my genderfluid ass I will cry my eyes out and idk if I’m emotionally stable for that #also I don’t really vibe with dramas set in the military world #any variation of it tbh #fun fact: my dad’s hyperfixation is watching every season of ncis on repeat #i can probably quote some eps by heart from proximity to him alone #on the one hand I’m too exhausted to explain to him why that amount of copaganda is bad #on the other who am I to interfere. ik I would not appreciate having him snoop in my business about fictional criminals’s mating rituals #but like............ I’m over it. any more military dramas and I might quit consuming media entirely #also who am I kidding. I got no time to drama watch #I’ve had the same page open on 3 body problem for months at this point #all I do is study and write. and I want to finish both activities in 2 months max #so. yeah what was I talking about? #ah yes KOJ #this kid is /this/ close to show up under SDY’s window with a boombox I’m telling you #HDS is not amused

[tiwtdafs]

think i’m gonna step away from tumblr again. i have 3 finals and a play coming up within this next week and i can’t do All This rn. might pop back for this weekends shows idk.

#olive.txt #i’m sorry i keep spontaneously leaving #but i’m scared i’ll get death threats again and idk if i can handle that #i’m just a fucking kid y’all….i’m not even in high school #idk what i’m saying like 80% of the time #i need y’all to realize that #so bye for rn ig. i cant fucking do this anymore

[sinnamonstache]

Just lost my job.. so I wanna try to get back into drawing.

However I’m.. not exactly comfortable picking up where I left off? I’ve changed a bit, mentally, and like. My interests aren’t very different, but…. I don’t think I can stomach making the same content I did before. I don’t know that I want it to attached to whatever I do going forward, either. I want to get more into OCs and stuff, if possible.

That said.. I know some of y’all really wanted that old art back. So I’m weighing my options…

I’ve considered making some kind of archive, but idk how to.. twitter frustrates me and feels far too public, given the subject-matter 😔 I may use it going forward but it doesn’t feel like the right place for my old works

I may just re-start with a new username and let this one lie...?

#idk.. what do you think? #i don’t even know really how anyone feels about the kinda shit I was making #i ONLY see the purity culture type shit these days and i feel.. idk #kinda lost.. #I’m not gonna be doing RPF anymore.. just to be clear #***PROBABLY #I must admit i dont trust myself with any promises these days.. #I’m just.. oh man. well. probably as uncomfortable as I should have been to begin with? #i might just go back to being silent idk #sorry y’all idk what I’m doing.. #i miss y’all a lot.. sorry I vanished 😔💚 #also like.. tired bc I’m trying to think of ways to make money to survive rn and #one of my thoughts has been to put my old art together and offer a purchasable download or something #idk if anyone would want that?? #at a reasonable price of course.. ik we’re all going thru it rn #hhhgn gosh okay im leaving now but inbox is open if anyone has thoughts..

[evansbby]

Tumblr used to be so fun now you guys just block and complain people for every small thing like I truly love your work but u always ask for interaction and then even though u get it, you complain that it’s not enough (while you ignore the MANY reblogs you have) or just don’t even bother replying and it gets ignored. I’m not saying we’re entitled to your time like that and that we HAVE to have a response, but if you’re going to make such a big deal and ask for something it would be kind to spend more time acknowledging how people actually come through instead of asking for more and making it seem like no one tried to in the first place?

Wtf all I said was that I block spam likers. Those who know me, know how appreciative I am of everyone else. I literally say it all the time, almost every time I answer an ask that’s praising my work. I of course cannot reply to every single ask and reblog, that’s impossible. But you’re acting like I’m complaining when all I said was that I block people who spam like 18282929 posts in a row. If me saying that makes this blog less fun for you, PLEASE unfollow me. I insist.

#like… I even said in a previous ask that y’all don’t have to reblog every single thing and I UNDERSTAND that sometimes people aren’t in the #mood and don’t want to #like I even acknowledged that idk what else you want me to say #I’m not gonna change my stance on spam likers like come on #that’s literally a thing everywhere #even on ig the fan pages block spam likers #I’m exhausted yall every time I say ANYTHING I have to defend my life to anons #Jesus fucking Christ let me live #atp pls enjoy my content for free like don’t like don’t reblog don’t do shit I am exhausted and I don’t care anymore #also yall the only fucking time I begged y’all for interaction for after the behemoth 37k fic I published #any other time I’ve never said anything bc I’m appreciative of the interaction I already get #so don’t even

[kyluxtrashpit]

Gonna need everybody on here to take one for the team and start reblogging my posts at the same rate people on twitter do cause I’m gonna have a rage-induced heart attack within a month if I can’t find a way to reduce my time over there lmfao

#the problem is online is like. my social activities #y’all are the only people I really can talk to and hang out with #and thing is here there’s like one person who talks to me on tumblr #and more people do on twitter but my god I just #I’ve begged people to tell me how they avoid seeing shit they don’t want to #and they never answer me! no one does! #so I guess it’s literally just me who has this problem!!! #on tumblr I don’t have this problem but Twitter it’s just. there’s almost no fandom stuff anymore #it’s all just yelling about this or that #sure some of the yelling I agree with but WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS YELLING #CAN WE HAVE ONE FUCKING DAY WHERE WE JUST POST NOTHING BUT BLORBOS AND KITTIES #WHAT THE FUCK #anyway #idk I’m like. almost in tears over here lmfao I just don’t know what to do #text #misc #shut up nerd

[cherries-and-knives]

Tbh I’m not even sure how tumblr works I’m just enjoying reposting random stuff :))

#idk what I’m doing anymore #are followers a thing on here????? #like r they important orrrr #welp oh well #to the ppl who follow me hullo how r u #hope y’all have a great day #or evening #idk

[hoeforcheol]

My mom just decided to have a long talk about how I want to move forward with things and boy I was not ready for that conversation

#I have a decent idea #but man I’m scared y’all #I think moving out will be healthier and sooner rather than later would probably be a good idea #but idk if I’m ready to potentially lose my person #cuz I still love and miss her a lot #but I know I don’t deserve the treatment I’ve been getting #especially after what my mom said to her #I have no idea what to do anymore #I don’t know that I’m ready to be out of each other’s lives #temporarily or otherwise #all of us are really worried about her #so idk if this is just her trying to figure something out for herself #and it just so happens to be at my expense #but our problems were fixable #at least in my eyes they were #I’m so tired of all of this #I just want to go back in time #when everything felt okay and we were still in love

[whimsyprinx]

I am so incredibly bad at friendship

#whimsy whispers #whims woes #yet another discord server fell through. you’d think I would’ve stopped trying sooner but I didn’t because I am stupid #I can’t keep a server active to save my life nor can I keep a conversation going in general #nor do I believe I’m worth anyone’s time and effort when it comes to reaching out and talking #it’s very easy for me to put their theory to test and be proven right #if I stop reaching out first (which i have) i won’t hear from y’all and like I get it’s hard to reach out to people I really do but at this #point I don’t even feel like most of y’all even want to be friends anymore so like idk I’m done trying for now #maybe I’m not putting in enough effort but like idk I thought I was or maybe I was being overbearing and doing too much #there’s like nothing else to be done because idk what to do #it’s so pathetic too because eventually I always cave and reach out first like a loser and the issue rinses and repeats and repeats and #repeats #like god I just want to feel like I’m worth the time and like people do actually want to be friends with me #or I’d like to be told that that isn’t the case up front #but I don’t feel like either thing will happen #anyways if anyone from my latest failure or a server sees this hello and goodbye #I’m not going to make y’all stay in a dead server that gets maybe a few messages each month #and I’m also going to not bother you privately anymore because what good does that do anyone? #eventually I’m not going to have any friends #I don’t even want to say this is me pushing people away because I’d love if people actually wanted to speak to me and if people do talk to #me I do happily reply #I just give up on putting in effort when it’s like no one cares #I cannot for my life maintain a friendship despite my best efforts so I’m just like taking a break from trying

[arthur-r]

thank you guys for the help i know nobody’s awake anymore but i’m awake now again and the email is officially sent

#i’m nervous cause i’m not seeing philosophy club anywhere #and yes i am capable of learning and growing as a person and doing other stuff with my life #(when i told my dad yesterday that i was nervous he said i should see this as an opportunity…) #but i would rather prefer to be in my regular thing every thursday… also i kind of need this teacher #i’m trying to not skip class as much anymore (i kind of did a lot of that last trimester) so it’s not like i’ll just be always over there #but my mom gets home tomorrow and it’s making me nervous. things were getting pretty bad between my parents #and y’all understand there’s only one adult in the entire world who understands what it’s like at home? it was cool knowing him #anyway the real point of philosophy club is learning philosophy and seeing friends. and that’s why i want to do it and was excited for it #but the reason that i’m nervous about it not happening is because what if i just never have a place like that again #but!! the email is sent!! and if there’s no philosophy club there really isn’t anything i can do #i’ll just have to join newspaper and start going to silent reading and all of those things i could do #also getting help from teachers. that’s a big one. that’s what raider time is actually for. and i could use it #but on the other hand that half hour of every day is like. my only piece of free time cause i’m away from parents and not in class #so i tend to want to use it for self care and fun times. plus last year that meant i could stay after school to get help from teachers #thereby maximizing my away time even more!!!! which was pretty great and a good situation #so anyway idk but the point is i sent the email and it’s the morning now and i’m gonna plug in my phone #and a friend of mine is driving me today so idk when she is getting there #because yesterday it was a different friend but not today and i don’t remember this friends driving schedule #but anyway yeah. and yesterday was a bad first day but maybe today will be good #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[saeyoungchoismaid]

Oh-

Thanks for 5k lmao

#should I host a lil mini event?? #cause I already got other events goin on #so obvi I’m not taking anymore fic requests #but what if I just did a lil drabble event or smth?? #idk what do y’all think #about #about my blog