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dreamgirl4certain · 5 years

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The Elevator Bae

SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

Erik Stevens x Black OC (Phoenix)

A/N: Just some cute shit here. | Song lyrics referenced are not my own. They are from a song by MILA J x Me and You. **I will be referencing lyrics from her music in the future. I picture her style of music when Phoenix’s is writing music. And I barely did any proofreading so my bad from the bottom of my heart.

Word Count: eh, idk. a lot.

***************************************

“I missed you so fucking much, baby girl.”

“I missed you too, E.” Phoenix huffed between words. Erik’s heavy figure above hers. His head rested in the crook of her neck as he placed wet kisses on her skin. She dug her fingertips into his back as he stroked her slow and deep. Her eyes stuck shut, moan trapped in her throat when she felt a vibration under her body. Where is this coming from?

Phoenix’s body jerked up and she looked around, realizing she was on her couch. It was dark out now and her tv screen paused with Netflix asking if she was still there. Her phone was ringing under her. That’s when it all hit her. She was dreaming. This was the third night in a row that dreamt of him. Three dreams, night after night of Erik doing all of the right things to her. Why is this happening to her?

Erik had been gone for ten days. The first few days, she poured herself into her work. She set up her equipment in her living room and did the best that could. remixing beats she already had and doing some writing. But has the days went on, she found herself thinking about Erik more and more. Thinking about how good he felt when she kissed him. Missing him, but she did everything but actually admit that to herself. She started watching Naruto because it was his favorite show, but she told herself it was because Netflix suggested it. She went out and bought two cases of Merinelli’s Apple Juice. But of course, not because he liked it, but because she ‘enjoyed the juice of apples.’ She told herself that he probably wasn’t even thinking about her. He’ll probably come back and not even bother talking to her again. Two weeks was more than enough time for him to realize that she wasn’t it and she should just prepare herself now, for that.

None of it worked, though she refused to accept the truth that she missed Erik. It ate her up inside that she couldn’t talk to him. He stayed in her mind constantly. She hated to like it.

“This is ridiculous.” She said to herself as she felt under her legs for her phone.

One missed call from Coby. She swiped the notification, selecting Call Back. When he answered, she could hear nothing but pure joy in his voice.

“PHILLY!” he yelled into the phone.

“Hey!” She pulled the phone away from her face and put it on speaker phone.

“My studio is done.”

Phoenix sat up, snatching the phone, bringing it closer to her face. “What! Say swear!”

“I swear. It’s finally done. You gotta come break it in.”

Coby had been working on building a studio in his home. Fully equipt. He promised that when it was done, she’d be the first person he called and she would be the first to record something in it. Before Phoenix could even express her excitement, Ava had taken over the phone call.

“Yeah, Philly. You might as well pack you a bag or three and come on.”

“A bag? Fuck she need a bag for?” Coby says.

“So she won’t have to leave. You know damn well y’all are about to be living in that damn room.”

“Bet!” Phoenix said. “I’m on my way.”

“Yay! We’re having a sleepover!” Ava yells into the phone. “See you when you get here.”

Phoenix ends the call. She rushes into her room to pack some clothes. She may or may not have packed enough to practically move in. She stuffed as much as she could in her giant Victoria Secret PINK duffle. Along with her face and hair products. She looked around to make sure she had everything. Her laptop was on the floor. She could NOT leave without that. She put it in her backpack with its charger and an extra phone charger and headed out the door. She texted Ava.

Phoenix: Be there in 20 minutes.

-------

Coby’s studio was her dream studio. It was huge. As soon as she walked in, purple lights glowed along the bottom of the soundproof glass that separated them from the recording booth. Coby turned on the lights that revealed all black decor and dark, hardwood floors. Phoenix walked in stroking her fingertips along the new equipment. Ava came in, sitting on the couch.

“You peep that?” Ava says, pointing to something inside of the recording booth. Phoenix goes inside to see. She looks up to see a huge black and white picture of her and Coby from when they were in the studio some time ago. One of Coby’s photographer friends had stopped by and took a few cool shots of them. Coby has the picture enlarged on a canvas and placed on the wall inside of the recording booth.

“Oh my gosh, Coby!” she grabbed his arms, shaking him.

Seeing her jump with joy, brought on the biggest smile that man has ever worn. “You like it?”

“I love it! What made you pick this one?”

“Well, we’re a team now, remember? I figured it was only right to put up a picture of me and my partner.”

“Aww… we haven’t come up with a cool name yet though.”

“We’ll figure that out in due time. But you like everything?”

“YES!”

Coby showed her around to look at everything that he had installed. Of course Phoenix’s favorite part was the fully stocked mini fridge and weed cabinet that held all of their smoking necessities. Phoenix wouldn’t be quiet about how proud of him she was. He had been working on this studio for months. He designed the entire thing himself.

They immediately got to work. Phoenix was so excited about the studio, and to be with her friends, she finally got her mind off of Erik… for now. She was able to zone into her work. They created their first beat from scratch in the new space. Just as Ava had predicted, once Phoenix and Coby were in the studio, they were there for the rest of the night. After a few hours, Ava left them and went to bed. It was well into the next morning before the two of them had fallen asleep in the studio. They refused to leave.

--------

The next afternoon, Phoenix enjoyed a hot shower and co-washed her hair. She lotioned up with her favorite vanilla shea butter. She moisturized her hair and washed her face. She put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Just as she was applying some chapstick, Ava facetimes her.

“Morning!” Ava cheerfully says into the phone.

“Morning, love.”

“Get down here. I made food. I wanna see you before I leave out.”

“Where you goin’?” Phoenix says as she starts walking out of her chosen guest room to meet Ava and Coby down in the kitchen.

“I have a brand meeting.”

“Alright. I’m coming down the stairs.”

Ava ends the facetime call. Phoenix walks down the large staircase and through the hallway. She can see Coby sitting at the kitchen table. She joins him. They share a look before both breaking into smiles.

“You want eggs?” Ava asks Phoenix from the stove.

“Sure.”

Ava brings Phoenix a full plate of food. Phoenix pours herself some cranberry juice, mixing it with orange juice. Coby watches her mix the two drinks with furrowed brows. “Why do you that? That’s weird.”

“It’s delicious actually.” she takes a sip. “You should try it.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

The three of them sit and eat their food. Ava asked them about what they created in the studio and the way their faces lit up was enough to let her know they had a great session, breaking in the new studio. They played her the song they made. As the beat broke through the speaker, Phoenix’s voice rides the beat effortlessly. Ava squealed in excitement, hearing her friend singing.

Just me and you // nobody gon' break this up, this magic My nigga, my babe, nobody comes before me and you Numero uno, you know you my baby What had these bitches off of you lately?

“You sound so good!” Ava says. “You should drop this yourself.”

“I told her ass last night, that she should drop some music.” Coby adds.

Phoenix shakes her head. “Y’all crazy. Ain’t nobody trying to hear me sing.”

“You’re crazy! You telling me that you’ve never thought about releasing some of those songs you have locked away? You have a pretty voice, Philly. I think people would love you.”

“It’s crossed my mind, but I’m good.”

Ava rolled her eyes at her. Coby checks the time on his phone. “You better get out of here before you’re late. Traffic probably already crazy.” Ava takes one last sip of her drink. She gets up from the table, picking up her dishes and taking them to the sink.

“Don’t worry about those. I got it.” Coby says.

Ava leaves her dishes and starts out of the kitchen. “I’ll see y’all in a couple hours.”

Coby listened out to hear the front door open and close. As soon as he did, he looks at Phoenix. She’s so into her food, that she didn’t notice at first. When she did, she locked eyes with him and they stared at each other until one of them blinked first. Phoenix’s eyes couldn’t take it and she blinked. “Fuck!”

“I don’t know why you think you can beat me.”

“Nobody should be able to go that long without blinking. Something is wrong with you.”

Coby continues to stare at her as she eats. As he watches her, he notices that she checks her phone every few seconds. She’s not usually the type to be so caught up with her phone. She checks it again, this time, locking it and flipping it over.

“What’s up with you?” he asks.

“Hm? What are you talking about?”

“You keep checking your phone. You expecting a call or something?”

“No.” she says quickly.

Coby smirks. “You waiting on Erik to text you?”

Her face drops and she rolls her eyes, trying to avoid looking in his direction. “No. I was-- I was just checking the time.”

Coby notices the change in her demeanor and the protector in him activates. “What happened? That nigga do something?” His words came out slightly louder than how he was talking before. They were stern.

“No,” she waves him off. “Nothing happened. I haven’t even talked to him.”

“Why not?”

Phoenix looks at him in disbelief. She feels like she’s getting grilled by her Mom. “He’s away right now… for work.”

“And he can’t talk to you? What the fuck do he do?”

Phoenix isn’t getting out of this conversation so she surrenders and figures she’d just answer Coby’s questions. She sits her fork down and leaned back in her chair. “He’s in the Navy. He had to leave for two weeks.” she says, figuring it was the safest answer. She can’t be telling people he’s hired to take people out.

“Hm. When did he leave?”

“Last Tuesday.”

“You must have gave that nigga some good-bye pussy or something.”

“Wha-- No!”

‘Then why you actin’ weird?” Coby tries to catch Phoenix’s eye to see if she’s lying. She avoids him by looking off at nothing in the kitchen.

“I’m not acting weird. You are. Asking me all of these damn questions.” she snapped.

“You are acting weird. I’m just trying to make sure you good and I don’t have to kill that nigga. I bring his name up and you get all tense and shit.”

Phoenix doesn’t respond. She looks down and picks at her fingers. Coby patiently waits for her to give him something. When she doesn’t, he tries to push a little more. Phoenix is good for keeping things locked in. But not on his watch.

“Aye,” she looks at him. “Talk to me. What’s the problem?”

She takes a deep breath. “I’m just… I don’t know.”

“Phoenix.” his voice was stern.

“I think I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Coby leaned onto the table, all ears.

“I- I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this.” He motioned for her to go on. “I’ve only ever been with one person and that clearly didn’t end well, and-- I don’t really want to allow someone to hurt me again.”

“That’s not fair Phoenix.”

“What’s not fair?”

“Erik isn’t your ex. It’s not fair to hold what that lame ass nigga did against him. You have to let that shit go.”

Phoenix looked away at nothing again. She knew he was right.

“Aye…” Coby tapped the table. Phoenix looks at him. “I’ma tell you this, but keep it between me and you.” Phoenix agrees with a nod. “My ex, she wasn’t shit. Fucked around on me with half the niggas in the industry. We were supposed to get married and everything but I called off all that shit when I found out what she was out here doing. Everybody knew but me.”

“Wait!” Phoenix interjected with wide eyes. “You were gonna get married, Coby?”

He kissed his teeth. “Yeah man. That was a few years ago and it has nothing to do with my point.”

Phoenix through her hands up in surrender.

“Anyways… as I was saying. I was done dirty but I didn’t let that shit stop me from going after Ava. I still found it in me to care about somebody. I treat her crazy ass like the queen that she is because that hurt shit is the past. Ava is my fresh start and clearly Erik is yours.”

“What makes you think that?”

“It’s all in the music, Phoenix. I’m not stupid. I can always tell what you’re feeling based off what you write. You like Erik. Just let the shit happen.”

Phoenix nods. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me you were engaged.” she says, trying to steer the conversation away from her and her alleged feelings for Erik.

Coby stands up from the table, picking up their plates. “Happened before I met you. Don’t like talking about it.”

He washed their plates and pans on the stove. Phoenix got up and started walking out. “I’ll be in the studio.”

-----------

The next few days, anxiety filled up in Phoenix. She counted the days down until Erik came back. She continued her stay at Coby’s with him and Ava to distract herself as much as she could. Erik’s return day came and went with no sign of him. He hadn’t texted her. She figured he would. But maybe he was tired and just wanted to rest. She was so confused about how she should feel. But when two more days passed and still no text from him, she figured she would take this ‘L’ like a champ and move on. She didn’t want to talk about it with Coby or Ava and she had lost her desire to make music. It would all be about Erik anyway. She didn’t want to do that to herself.

Phoenix stood over the bed in the guest room that she had rightfully deemed her room and packed up all of her stuff. Ava sat on the bed, watching her.

“You should just move in, Philly. Then we can all be together, all the time.” Ava says.

“You don’t even live here!” They hear Coby yell from his room, down the hall.

“Ain’t nobody even talking to you!” Ava yells back. Her and Phoenix share a look before laughing. “He be killing me, not minding his business.”

“But, speaking of you not living here. When was the last time you went home?” Phoenix asked.

Ava looked up to the ceiling in thought. “It’s been a couple weeks. I should probably go back though. I’m sure the food in my fridge is done for and I definitely need to wash some clothes.”

“Ew, A!” Phoenix laughs. She just shrugs. “Welp… I’m all packed up.”

Ava gives Phoenix a very dramatic sad face. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“Relax, love.” Phoenix places a petty hand on Ava’s shoulder. “A couple more weeks and we’ll be ass out on a beach.”

“Yes and then right after that… it’s your birthday.” Ava pokes her in her sides between words, tickling her.

“Stop! No need to be extra. It’s not that big of a deal.” Phoenix throws on her hoodie and slip her feet into her sneakers.

“You bet not say you don’t wanna do anything, because we’re doing something for your birthday.”

“Y’all can’t do it here!” Coby yells.

“SHUT UP!” “BE QUIET!” they yell back. Both rolling their eyes. Why was he listening so damn hard?

Phoenix goes down to Coby’s room where he’s playing 2k and she says her goodbyes to him. She tries to kiss him on the cheek and snaps back, away from her. “Gone with all that shit, Philly. Don’t you see I’m in a game?”

“This game can’t be that damn important if your ear hustling on what me and Ava talking about.”

“Nah, y’all niggas were just loud. Which is why y’all need to get out my house.”

Ava storms into the room. “Fuck you! I ain’t going nowhere.” She smacks him in the back of the head, making him pause the game.

“Don’t be putting your little ass hands on me. You can get ya’ shit and leave with your friend.”

Ava leans down to his ear and whispers something to him that makes his eyebrows raise up into his hairline. He clears his throat. “You know what… you can stay, bae.” He looks to Phoenix, “I love you, Phoenix, but you have to go now. This was fun. It really was, but Ava will show you to the door.”

Phoenix is disgusted. “Y’all are gross. I’m out.” She turns on her heels, heading back into the guest room for her bags. Ava follows her downstairs and walks her out.

“Let me know when you get home, okay?” Ava gives Phoenix one of those long, auntie hugs. Back rubs and all.

-----

Phoenix sat at a red light when her phone started ringing over the speakers. When she looked to see who it was, she almost choked on her spit. It was Erik. He was facetiming her. He’s never actually called her before, let alone facetime. They only talked in person or text. Her palms become sweaty at a new record speed. She wiped her hand on her hoodie and hit the green button to answer. The street lights lit her face up enough for him to see her. She looked down into the phone to see his face almost covered with a hoodie over his head.

“Hey.” his voice was deep and raspy.

“Hey.”

The light turns green and Phoenix drives off, quickly looking away from the phone on the mount. He just watched her for a moment as she focused on the road and traffic. “You going somewhere?” he finally asked.

“I’m on my way home. Just left Coby’s.”

“Oh.”

She could tell he wanted to say something more than just ‘Oh.’ As she came to a stop at another red light, she focused her attention back to the phone. “What’s up, Erik?” her tone came out frustrated. He’s been back for days now and he hadn’t texted her at all. He randomly facetimes her and barely has anything to say. She was definitely annoyed with how this was going right about now.

“Can I see you?”

“Sure.”

“How far are you from here?”

She drives off once again. “Like ten minutes.”

“Alright.” There’s movement on his end of the phone. “I’ll wait for you in the garage. See you when you get here.”

“Um… okay.”

The call ends and Phoenix is every bit of confused as to how she should take this. He hasn’t talked to her and now he wants to see her. What the fuck was happening right now?

She arrived in the parking garage of her apartment and Erik is waiting, standing outside his car. She decided to leave her bags in her backseat and gets out to go to him. As she approaches him, he motions to the car, opening the passenger door. “Ride with me somewhere.” Phoenix very hesitantly gets into his car. He gets in and drives off. The ride was silent. He was distant. Not the Erik she had become use to. He was so closed off and she wanted to ask, but didn’t really know how. She didn’t know what to say. She just rode. She laid back into the seat and just looked out the window. The car ride wasn’t long. They pulled into a parking lot and as Phoenix searched around, looking out of the windows, she realized they were at the beach. There weren't many people out. Just a few bodies walking around. Erik turned the car off and opens his door to get out. Phoenix follows. He spares her a look and starts walking onto the sand, toward an empty picnic table. Phoenix doesn’t follow him immediately. She watches him walk and takes note of the slight dip when he takes a step. He turns looking for her and expecting her to be right behind him. When she’s not, he stops to wait. She slowly begins her journey to him. When she approaches him, he takes her hand in his and guides her the rest of the way to the picnic table. Erik steps up onto the table, sitting on the top of it. He leaves just enough room between his legs for Phoenix to sit. He pulls her up on the reserved seat. As she settles into her place between his thighs, he wraps his arms around her torso and rests his face on her shoulder.

Silence.

Neither of them talk. They sit. The moon’s light sits on top of the water before them and faint sounds of the city in the distance. The few people roaming the beach had left, leaving just them with one another. Phoenix listened to Erik’s steady breath in her right ear and the sounds of small waves in the left. She felt calm. The slight irritation she had with Erik had subsided.

The late night breeze flowed right off of the water and a shiver crept up Phoenix’s spine. Erik felt her shake and wrapped his arms around her body completely, holding her tighter.

“Better?” his baritone voice spoke low in her ear.

“Mhmm.” she rested her head back on him.

“I missed you.” he whispered.

Without thinking, Phoenix’s words flew from her mouth. “Then why didn’t you text me?”

“I just needed some space… some time to decompress or whatever.”

“I get that. I just would like to know that you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. Not really used to having to check in with anybody.”

Phoenix lifted her body from his and turns to look at him. “Well, you don’t have to check in with me then.” she snapped.

Erik sighs. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’ll let you know next time.”

“Nah, you don’t have to worry about it.” she faces forward but folds her body into her lap. Erik pulls her back to him. She resisted at first but eventually submitted. Resting her body against his chest again. She felt defeated. He wrapped his arms around her again, placing his face in her neck. He doesn’t do anything. He just lays there, lips barely grazing her skin. Phoenix silently prayed he’d move, though she wanted him to stay.

“It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” he said into her neck.

She took in a deep breath. Coby’s words popping up in her mind. ‘Let that shit go. Let Erik be your fresh start.’

“I missed you too, Erik.”

His lips pressed firmly on her neck then. Her body melted more into his.

“Why are you so understanding?” he asked.

She shrugs. “It’s just who I am, I guess.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Why would you say that?”

He lifts his head, looking out at the water. Phoenix’s head falls back onto his chest. His grip around her loosens. “I’m no good for you. You’re too much of a good person for a nigga like me. I do terrible shit and you still find a way to be understanding about it.”

“Erik...”

“Everything I touch dies, Phoenix. I don’t wanna ruin your life.”

“Shut up, Erik.”

“Phoenix--” She cuts him off and turns to face him again. She pulls the strings on his hoodie and moves her face closer to his. They’re eye to eye.

“I’m a grown ass woman. I make my own decisions, so if you ruin my life, it’ll be because I let you. I’m not scared of none of that shit you’re talking. I had my chance to cut you off when you told me that you’re basically an assassin. You mark your body for every fucking kill Erik. I tried counting them damn scars on your arms and I lost count… three times,” She dramatically throws up three fingers. “I’m understanding because I know what it’s like to only have yourself. I’m understanding because somebody has to be. Somebody has to be a safe space for your dumbass.” She lets go of his hoodies strings. “Even though I couldn’t get a damn text letting me know you were still alive.” she says sarcastically.

Her words hit him right in the chest. ‘Somebody has to be.’ Nobody had ever tried to be understanding of him. Nobody wanted to be and here this girl is, wanting to be that somebody. He felt a sense of safety with her that he couldn’t explain before and this confirmed everything he was feeling. This woman was special and the only explanation for how he got so lucky was that Bast herself, sent her to him. If that’s what Erik had to tell himself to accept what Phoenix was offering, he would. All Erik could do in this moment was smile. “I said I’m sorry.” He hadn’t smiled once in the weeks he’d been gone.

Phoenix clutched her pearls. “Erik Stevens without his gold caps? Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Shut up.” He grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks and connecting his lips with hers. He needed to do this. He wanted to since she met him in the parking garage. The kiss turned hot, very quickly. The smacking of their lips seem to quiet out the sounds of the waves hitting the shore. Phoenix gripped his hoodie, pulling him closer. Their awkward position making it hard to do so. She lifted her body from between his legs and straddled his lap. She didn’t miss a beat. Their lips never parted. Erik’s hands gripped her ass, holding her in place above him. Just as Phoenix sucked on his bottom lip, he pulled back.

“Fuck, girl.” he shakes his head, trying to come back to reality. Erik has kissed many, and I mean MANY of women. But none of them felt like this. She made him want her in every way possible. He wasn’t used to this feeling. But, Phoenix has a history of making him feel things he’s not used to feeling. Like, well… feelings in general. Erik never wanted to just be with someone just to be with them. With other women, if it wasn’t about sex, he didn’t care. But, Phoenix… he wanted to sit next to her, talk to her, hold her hand, watch tv with her. The simple things.

“What I do?” she grinned.

“I want you so fucking bad.” the lust in his voice sent heat to her lady parts. She wanted him too. “But… if I’m gonna do this, I have to do it right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I would love to bend yo’ ass over this table right now and just…” He thrusted his body up into hers. Her mouth dropped in shock. He laughed at her reaction. “But, I wanna do right by you. I wanna take you out. I wanna show you a good time first.”

“You wanna court me, Stevens?” she smiles, linking her hands around his neck.

“Yeah. All that shit.”

“Damnn, okay. A bitch ain’t never had that before.” she says in her hoodrat voice.

“Me neither.” He laughed at her and pulled her back in for a few more pecks on the lips.

They continued to sit in this position. Phoenix laid on his shoulder and he rested his face in her neck, still gripping on to her thighs. She rubbed the back of his neck. They sat quietly with the sounds of the night traveled around them.

“E,” she whispered. He moaned in response. “Why the beach? What made you wanna come here?”

“I like to come here to clear my mind.”

“Hm, well, I’m enjoying this. I really am. But, I’m cold.”

His body bounced under hers as he laughed. “Well, I’m good now so we can go.”

Phoenix stands. Erik moves to stand up but pauses and sits back down. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

He drops his head in laughter. “Oh my God, man.”

“What!”

He slowly stands up and his erection is VERY visible through his light grey joggers. Phoenix’s mouth drops and she laughs. She knew he was big from when he chilled with her at her place and she breifly sat on his lap, but seeing this nigga print in these pants, let her know she slightly underestimated him. “And I Oop…” They both leaned over in laughter. Phoenix’s funny reaction was simply a way to steer her brain from the many questions she wanted to ask herself. Like: Was she able to handle that? Ya’ know… when the time came? How big was this nigga? Has he murdered anybody by dick in his past?

But she’ll tackle that one later. They were okay. Things were normal.

Erik readjusted himself and they walked back to his car. The ride back to their apartment was different than the ride to the beach. Phoenix connected her phone to his car’s bluetooth and played her music. The air was lighter on their drive. Erik’s hand found its place on her thigh and they both sung along to the songs that played.

-----------

Phoenix and Erik picked up right where they left off. He texted her every morning and they’d text through the entire day, ending the day with a facetime call. The nights she’d be up and in the studio, they’d text until he fell asleep, only to facetime him when she made it in and they’d both sleep with the other on screen until their phones died. It was like they were teenagers again. The butterflies, the cute text. They enjoyed each other.

——-

Phoenix was currently standing in her hallway, locking her door. Before making her way to the elevator she texted Erik.

Phoenix: What’s your elevator code?

She was feeling bits of nervousness. This would be her first time going up to Erik’s apartment. The couple of weeks that Erik had been back seem to have flown by and her vacation with her girls was coming up quick, Erik told Phoenix he wanted to see her before she left. They haven’t seen much of each other since he’s been back with her schedule being hectic. Phoenix had a lot of work and meetings to get through before her trip. She wanted to enjoy her vacation without any work related distractions. Her and Coby had been working tirelessly so the only time she could really see Erik was on their nightly FaceTime calls. He’d always miss her on the elevators.

Erik: 8176.

She pressed the elevator call button.

Phoenix: Great. My goons will be up in a minute to rob your ass.

Erik: Play with me if you want to. I’ll drop you and them niggas.

Phoenix: you wouldn’t do that to me. You would miss me too much.

Erik: maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t.

DING!

The elevator doors opened and Phoenix stepped on. She typed in his code to enter the Penthouse floors. 8..1..7..6. The twelfth floor light lit up and the doors began to close. She texted Erik back.

Phoenix: I’m not coming up then.

Erik: stop playing baby girl. You know I would miss you.

Erik: I miss you right now.

Phoenix sticks her tongue out, blushing. She locks her screen. The closer she got to his floor, the tighter the knot in her stomach. She could feel her hands getting hot. She tried taking some deep breaths. The cabin stopped and the doors opened. She stepped out and looked to her left and to her right. There was an apartment door in both directions. Erik didn’t mention which direction his door would be. She unlocked her phone, calling Erik.

“Hey baby girl. Where you at?”

“Um, I’m in the hallway. You never told me if your door is to the left or right of the elevators.”

“Oh shit. My bad. The right.”

Phoenix goes right and the door begins to open. Erik steps out with a smile sitting beautifully on his face. He made Nike shirts look like the most exquisite shirts on the market. His dreads were pulled up into a pineapple. The smell of seasoned chicken flowed out into the hallway meeting Phoenix as she greeted him with a hug. He steps aside, letting her in. First glance and Phoenix was stunned. The sleek and modern black and gold decor was designed perfectly. The high ceilings and floor to ceiling glass windows gave the most amazing view of the city. She walked in, looking around, noticing the African Art along the walls.

“Ohhhh, he got moneyyy!”

“Would you like a tour?”

She whipped her head around to him. “Yes, actually. I would.”

“C’mon.”

She follows him as he leads her more into his penthouse. They walk through his huge living room where he has the largest sectional couch that Phoenix has ever seen. It looked so comfy and she couldn’t wait to get lost in it. A 90” tv set on a stand in front of it.

“Full bar over there.” he points to underneath the stairs. “Dining area. Kitchen.” He takes her hand and leads her past the kitchen into a hallway. There are two doors to right. The first is a guest bathroom. The second door is a guest bedroom.

“Damn, Stevens! Your guest room is bigger than my living room. Go off with your rich ass.”

“You’re silly, baby girl. C’mon, we’re going upstairs.”

They make their way back into the main area to go upstairs. She follows him up and notices his pants hanging low on his waist. This nigga has cake.

“Damn, you kinda thick, E.” she pats him. He stops mid step and turns to give her the straightest face.

“Don’t do that shit again.”

She puts her hands up in surrender. “My bad big booty E.”

“Chill.” They continue their trip up the stairs and the space before them was big enough to be another living room. There were some workout equipment, neatly stacked against the wall.

“Oh this is where you be growing ya’ cheeks at.”

“Phoenix, you got one more time to mention my ass before I put you out.”

“Alright, alright. I’m done.” she smirks at him.

He takes her through some sliding doors that lead to his bedroom. The walls were white with a dark grey accent wall behind his bed. A TV was up on the wall between his large windows. The shades were down, blocking out the cities lights. His california king bed dressed in black and purple. A large black panther picture hung on the wall.

“I have an idea, E.” Phoenix says, rubbing her chin.

“What’s that?”

“I move into this room and you take the one downstairs.”

“You sound crazy. You could just join me in this one.” he winks at her.

“Nope. I need all of this to myself.”

“Nah. I come with it. All or nothing. If you don’t like it, you can stay in your shoebox downstairs.”

Phoenix’s mouth drops and she clutches her chest. “First of all, I love my shoebox.”

He wraps his arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, we’re almost done with the tour.”

She walks with him to the other side of his room and through another set of sliding doors. They step into his master bathroom. His shower had three shower heads and a bench. The tub sat in front of a large window and another tv was on the wall in front of it. “I’m sold. I might have to take you up on your offer now.”

“Oh now you want me?”

“Technically,” she put a finger up. “I never said that I didn’t.”

“You’re something else.” He walks out and she follows him. Right outside the bathroom’s doors was a small hallway that lead into his closet. He turned on the lights, revealing his amazing collection of clothes, sneakers, jackets, and a jewelry case full of chains and watches and few pair of earrings. Straight ahead was a large mirror. Phoenix walked right passed his clothes. Fuck his clothes honestly. The white light in the closet made for good lighting and the mirror called her to take the perfect picture.

“OH! It’s picture time.” She pulled out her phone, snapping a full cute pics, catching her body at all of the right angles. As she tried to get a new position, she noticed Erik leaning against the wall behind her. She hadn’t realized that he was visible in her pictures before. She stopped and looked at him.

“What?” he was lost as to why she was giving him the stink look.

“Get out my picture.” she barked at him.

He rolled his eyes, stepping out of her camera’s view. She snapped a few more pictures.

“Are you done?” he called out. She walks back to him.

“Yes. All done. Thanks.”

He turns off the lights and they both leave out of his room. As they walked toward the stairs, he points to a door on the other side, “That’s my office. I’m redoing it right now so it’s a mess in there.”

They go downstairs and into the kitchen where the food Erik had cooked sat on the stove. He made stuffed chicken, cheesy, garlic potatoes and grilled asparagus. Phoenix sat in the wooden barstool at the kitchen island as he prepared their plates.

“Red or White?” he asked without turning around.

“Hmm, white.”

Erik placed two plates of food on the counter in front of her. He grabbed two wine glasses from a cabinet, placing one in front of her. “You’re a sweet kind of woman aren’t you?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.” He walks away out of her sight. When he comes back, he has a bottle of Moscato. He effortlessly pops the cork and pours into their glasses. He takes his seat next to her, pulling her seat closer to him. He grabbed her chin, bringing their faces just a breath from each other. He licks his lips and places a peck on hers, making a small closed mouth smirk appear on hers. “Eat up, baby girl.”

Phoenix pulled away from him. “You don’t tell me what to do, Stevens.” She picks up her fork and starts eating. He watches her with prey like eyes.

“We’ll see about that.” he finally says with a low tone before digging into his food.

As they enjoyed their meal, they talked about random things. How they’re sick of the construction outside of their building. Phoenix has a hair appointment the next day. Nothing major. Well about halfway through dinner, the conversation shifted.

“So,” Erik sat his fork down. “Your birthday is coming up. You and your crew planning something?”

Phoenix sipped her wine. “My crew? No. This vacation is enough for me. I don’t wanna do anything really.”

“I thought the trip was Camrens’s birthday gift?”

“It is. But, I don’t know, it’s right before mine so I’m okay with just that.”

“Why?” He was watching the side of her face.

“Not really a birthday person.”

“I’ve never met a woman that wasn’t a birthday person.”

She finally looks at him. “I mean, as a kid, I was. But the older I got, it just seemed so… extra. I would only do something because my brother wanted to.”

“Brother?!” Erik’s eyebrows raised high. “You have a brother?”

Phoenix rolls her eyes. “Yeah. A twin, actually. Zion.”

“You’ve never mentioned having a brother.”

“Because…” she takes a sip. “We don’t talk. He don’t fuck with me and I don’t fuck with him.” Her demeanor changed. Phoenix is tense now. She clenches and unclenches her jaw and the slight eye rolls as she talks let Erik know that her brother is a trigger.

Erik turns his body to face her to give her his full attention. “Why not?” She cups her glass with both hands, slowly taking sips. There’s a beat of silence.

“I’m here.” She began. Her voice small. “I’m living a decent life, doing what I love to do and he’s not.” she shrugs. “He hates me for that.”

“Hate is a strong word.”

“He hates me, E. He said it. He’s convinced himself that I just have hella money and because I won’t move him out here and pay his way through school or fund any of his ideas, I’m not a good sister. He’s the only boy in the family, so everybody has always babied his big ass. I’m not doing that. I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned everything that I have. He can do the same.”

“I understand that. Ain’t shit free.”

She looks at him in disbelief. Everyone (her family and old friends from back home) felt like she was being too harsh on her brother for wanting him to put in some kind of work. They had always just given him what he wanted, no matter the cost. Phoenix had worked for everything. She had a job at 16 while her brother did whatever he wanted. He was given his first car from an uncle while Phoenix saved up her money to get herself one. That same car she saved up for is the same car that she drove to California. Everyone excused her brother actions because he was just a free spirit. Phoenix was too but she still had some discipline.

“Why you look at me like that?” Erik asked.

“Because… you’re the first person to actually agree with me.”

“Hell yeah, I agree with you! That nigga better get a damn job.” That made her laugh. “Phoenix and Zion though. Interesting names for twins.”

“Our names were gonna be Zues and Megara since Hercules was my mama’s favorite movie.” Erik burst into laughter. “Thank God my grandma threw a bible at her ass and put a stop to that.” Phoenix joined in on the laughing.

Erik wiped a tear from his eyes, his laughter calming down. “Oh man,” he tapped on the counter, looking as though he had something else to say. “Speaking of names though. Um, can I tell you a secret?”

“Let me guess, Erik isn’t your real name or something?” she says, jokingly. Erik just looks at her, eyebrows raised. His silence answering his question. She slams her hand on the counter. “ERIK ISN’T YOUR REAL NAME?” she starts to raise up from the barstool.

Erik stops her, grabbing her arm. “Hold up. Hold up.” she snatches her arm from his hold. “Hear me out.” she motions for him to continue. “Technically, Erik is my name, but I also have my Wakandian name.”

“You better not be fucking with me.”

“I’m dead serious. I’m Erik Stevens but technically, my real name is N’Jadaka.”

Phoenix takes a deep breath, staring at him like he has three heads. A whole minute passed with her just looking at him. “I need more wine.” she finally says.

“Nah,” Erik stands, taking Phoenix’s hand, “ I know what you need.

Some dick! Her brain screamed at her. “What’s that?”

She followed him to the couch. He turned on the tv and picked up a blunt from the coffee table. They lean into each other, shoulder to shoulder as Erik lights the blunt, taking two drags of it and passing it to Phoenix. She takes a hit, holding in the smoke longer than she needed and slowly blowing it out. They passed the blunt back and forth until it was gone. They settled into the couch as Naruto played on the tv. Phoenix had come clean during one of their late night facetime calls that she started watching the show while he was gone and that she really liked it. They agreed to watch it together and here they were. As their highs hit them more, Erik dimmed the lights in the living room and got comfortable laying on Phoenix’s lap. They remained in this position until Phoenix’s legs were numb. She repositioned herself under him to lay fully on her back and he placed his body over hers, resting his head on stomach. He was heavy but she liked it. She wanted him to stay there forever.

Phoenix had been absentmindedly playing in Erik’s locs for an entire episode. When she realized what she was doing, she stopped. His hand came out of nowhere and placed her hand back in his hair. She giggled and continued rubbing his scalp again. She looked down at him and noticed that his eyes were closed. This man was falling asleep.

“Erik…” she called him softly.

“Hm.” he moaned.

“Are you sleep?”

“I’m resting my eyes.” his voice was low and raspy. He was definitely asleep. Phoenix waited a couple minutes before calling his name again, but this time she didn’t receive a response. She pulled out her phone, opening her front camera and took a picture of them. Erik’s face buried in her stomach and her fingers, tangled in his locs. She then opened her Instagram, swiping to make a story. A boomerang of course. She made one with the caption ‘Niggas be like, I’m just resting my eyes.’ She posted it and sat her phone down on the floor. She was pretty tired herself but the truth is, she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay right here, under him. So she did.

--------

Erik naturally woke up a little after 7am. He wanted to lay with Phoenix longer but his body was so used to waking up early, he knew he had to just get up. As soon as he moved from off of her, she curled up into the fetal position. He grabbed a blanket, placing it over Phoenix’s now balled up body. He stood over her, admiring how peaceful she looked while sleep. He then headed upstairs into his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. He changed into some compression pants and basketball shorts. He remained shirtless and went out to his workout area and began his at home workout.

An hour later, he was sweaty and tired. He checked over the railing to see Phoenix still asleep. She was still balled up in the same spot. He laughed to himself remembering that she never wakes up before noon. He goes back into his bathroom to shower and change into some fresh clothes. He left his locs to lay wildly over his face and came back downstairs to clean up last night’s dishes. The clanking of the dishes and ruffles of the dishwasher still didn’t get Phoenix to wake up. She was a hard sleeper. The opposite of Erik. Maybe it was his Navy training, but Erik could hear wind shift directions in his sleep. It was still early, just after 10. He’s let her sleep in some more.

He sat near her on the couch to watch some tv and lazily scrolled through his phone. He opened the Instagram app and the first thing he noticed was Phoenix’s profile picture at the top of his screen, glowing pink. He tapped it and the boomerang of them played over and over. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. He did everything he could to conceal the grin that threatened to appear on his face as if someone was watching. He watched it more times than he would care to admit. Phoenix began to stir in her sleep. One of her feet poked out from under the blanket. Her sock was missing and her neon pink toes struggled to find shelter under his thigh. He picked up her foot, setting it on his lap and started massaging her foot. He did this while watching tv until his fingers were tired.

It was approaching noon and Phoenix still hadn’t budged. She had a hair appointment in a few hours and Erik knew it was time to wake her. He softly shook her leg, calling her name.

“Philly. C’mon, baby girl. Get up.”

“Hm?” she moaning from under the blanket.

“Get up.”

He had to shake her a little harder for her to actually wake up. She sat up, stretching her arms over her head. She looked disheveled-- her hair were all over her head, she looked confused about where she was and she was missing a sock.

“Morning, baby girl.” He sat back, rubbing her unsocked foot again.

“Morning.” she yawned. She stared blankly ahead, trying to process that she’s awake now. The fresh scent of his body lotion traveled under her nose and she looked at him, taking in the fact that he was fully dressed and looked damn good.

“You smell good.” her tired voice rung out.

“Thank you.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Like seven thirty.”

She shook her head, “Early as fuck,” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “What time is it now?”

“Almost noon. Figured I’d wake you up so you’re not late for your hair appointment.”

Phoenix shifted her body and laid her head on his lap. “I don’t want to go to that.”

“Nah, Phoenix. Get yo’ ass up. You’re not about to blame me for your hair not being done later.”

Phoenix moaned in protest. He slipped his hand in her curls, rubbing her head. “How am I supposed to get up and you’re doing shit like this?”

He stopped and lifted her up from him. He held her chin, “Because… you need to go wash your hair, wash your face, brush them teeth and put some lotion on this ashy ass foot you had on me.”

She swatted his hand from her face. “You can suck my ass, Erik. My foot ain’t ashy.”

“I’ll do more than suck your ass, baby girl.” he licked his lips. Phoenix watched closely as his tongue grazed his lips. She had zoned out, flashing back to all of the dreams that she’s been having of him doing just what he said. Her breathing hitched and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. The snapping of his fingers in front of her face, snatched her from her mind.

“Hm?”

He raised a brow at her. “You were thinking about me sucking your ass, huh?”

“What-- No!”

“Mhm.” he chuckled.

“I see you want to start with me early today.” she says as she stands and searches under the blanket for her sock.

“Early? Girl, half the damn day is gone.”

“Whatever. It’s early to me.” She finds her sock and sits down to put it on. She feels on the floor for her phone, checking it and seeing that the group chat with her friends is currently up in flames with 23 unread messages. She swipes to open the thread and finds that she’s butt of their jokes.

Mica: I know Phoenix up. She’s avoiding us right now.

Camren: lmao. That’s because Erik giving her that morning wood.

Mica: Right! “Niggas be like” head ass.

Ava: She think she slick too. Y’all notice how she made sure you couldn’t see his face?

Camren: yessss! No face. No Case.

Mica: lmfao.

“Oh my goodness.” Phoenix drags a hand over her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“My crew as you call them, they’re lighting my ass up right now about something I posted on Instagram.”

“Oh, that boomerang?” Her head snapped in his direction. “Yeah, I seen that.” he bit his lip to stop himself from smiling.

“How did you see that?”

“I follow you.”

“What? When-- when did you follow me?”

Erik shifted his focus to his phone, looking unbothered at the fact that he just snitched on himself. “I been following you.”

“Since when?”

“Don’t worry about all that. Stop being fake bougie and follow me back though.”

Phoenix was stunned that she didn’t know this information. She felt exposed. “This is weird. What’s your name?”

He snatched her phone from her hands and searched his name @Kingkill_ . His page was private so he requested a follow from her page. He exited out of the app and opened her messages, going to her group chat. Phoenix watched, confused as to what he was going to do. He tapped the camera icon and the camera popped up on screen.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Erik pushed Phoenix down onto her back, and straddled himself over her. She tried to grab the phone but he held her wrist in place and tapped the red button to record. He started dramatically humping her and laughing.

“Get off me nigga.” she shouted.

“Hold on, baby. I’m almost done.”

One of Phoenix’s hands broke free from his grip and she swung on him, reaching for her phone. He jumped up and ran. She pushed herself up from the couch going after him. He ran into his guest bedroom and locked the door. Phoenix banged on the door, shouting for him to open the door.

“I will break this bitch down. Open the door Erik.”

“Try it if you want to.”

Erik leaned his large figure against the shaking door. He proceeded to send the compromising video to her friends in the group chat. After hitting send, he unlocks the door and Phoenix stands there looking pissed with her arms folded over her chest. He hands her the phone and she snatches it and storms off.

“You really mad?” He goes after her.

She tries her best to not break her fake mad face. But she couldn’t hold it. “You play too much. They’re about to drag my ass.”

“C’mere.” He grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her, placing kisses all over her face. “You like it on the low.” She pushed herself off of him.

“I have to go get my hair done. I’ll see your childish ass later.”

As she turned to go put on her shoes, Erik smacks her on her butt and follows her to the door. All ready to go, she goes in for a hug and quickly gripped his face in her small hand and blew her breath in his face. The smile on his face dropped and snatched his face away. “You nasty as hell! Get out of my house.”

Phoenix broke down in laughter. “That’s what you get for playing.” She opens the door, stepping out into the hallway. Erik is being extra, pinching his nose and waving her out. She winks at him, “See you later, N’Jadaka.”

--------------

Tags: @purple-apricots @abeautifulmindexposed @lostennyc @missshae @tip222u @janelledarling @lushloaded @chaneajoyyy @thadelightfulone @raysunshine78 @toniilaney @purpleskiesxhopefuldreams @elaindeereads

***Let me know if you want to be tagged. :)

#erik stevens #erik killmonger #erik killmonger x OC #erik x phoenix #the elevator bae #shaebewriting #black panther #erik killmonger x black oc

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mascaratearsnlipsticksmears · 3 years

Text

1..Who was the last person you held hands with? Probably My son

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy until I’m

Comfortable

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My surgeon

4. Are you easy to get along with? I try to Be. Don’t give me a reason to not Like you 😉

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Never had someone take care of me from drinking .....I’m usually taking care of everyone else

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Loyal. Chill. Down to earth .

7. Are you married? No.

8. Do you want to get married? Eventually . I do , but I need it to be for the right reason.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Makes me feel Lonely lately believe it or not.... 😔

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Oh cool 😎”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

lil peep- star shopper

Brand new-Jesus Christ

Bebe rexha- I’m a mess

Anything Billie eillish

Doja cat -rules

Ashnikko-daisy

That’s more than 5, Idc

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Only certain people

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I don’t know anymore

15. What good thing happened this summer? Got a tan and not covid 👌🏼👌🏼

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? My little guy? I will kiss him when ever I can cause one day he’s not gonna want me to and I’ll be sad

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Absolutely

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yes

19. Do you like bubble baths? 110%

20. Do you like your neighbors? Yea

21. What are you bad habits? Overthinking, caring to much.

22. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere

23. Do you have trust issues? No, people that scumbag me Normally get cut off so I only keep ppl around I trust.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Coffee & a bowl

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Uhhh everything from the chin down 😔

26. What do you do when you wake up? Set gage up for class in the living room

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Lauren Rayza

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? They don’t get the chance, yes a few tried to contact me but my mentality is fuck them.... one even tried emailing my friends to reach me 🙄🙄🖕🏼

30. Do you ever want to get married? I do, one day. Didn’t I just answer this

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Idk I’d have to think about it

33. Spell your name with your chin. The fuck?

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Bought a bike yesterday Lol. I used to be on the swim team and I played soccer~ also took dance for 7 years.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Depends on my mood

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Absolutely.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Try to avoid them at all Costs

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? No.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Sephora Ulta Victoria secret

40. What do you want to do after high school? Lol I think that bridge has been crosses already

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone , no.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Normally bad anxiety and hurting , or extremely chill

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yea I do.... but now I forget I have a mask on and look like a retard

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Can I just going fishing ?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My son.

46. What are you paranoid about? Money

47. Have you ever been high? There’s a joint in my hand.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Who writes these things??

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Navy

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Eh wish I was still me with more $$$

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I don’t have to wish, I’m doing it.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Tarte, morphs, fenty

54. Favourite store? Didn’t I answer this?

55. Favourite blog? My own💚

56. Favourite colour? Black, Periwinkle , light lavender ,pink

57. Favourite food? Japanese

58. Last thing you ate? 8 hours slow cooked ribs

59. First thing you ate this morning? Coffee

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Probably & Idr

61. Been suspended/expelled? Started a food fight in the science lab and they suspended the wrong Angela ~Womp womp...I did get detention a lot cause my shirt was too low in the front tho.

62. Been arrested? No

63. Ever been in love? Yea I think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? No. ☺️

65. Are you hungry right now? I could eat.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Meh

67. Facebook or Twitter? Fb

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?yes

70. Names of your bestfriends? Stephanie Lauren Rayza Kat Christina

71. Craving something? A simple hand hold...😔.... compliment here or there . To not have to do everything myself... I crave the help I constantly ask for and never get. I crave dick, I just don’t understand this shit anymore.... damnit tumblr u struck a nerve .

72. What colour are your towels? Mixed

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?idk

75. Favourite animal? So many..... tigers maybe? & Lynx. Sharks.

76. What colour is your underwear? Not wearing any 😬

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint chocolate chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Olive green

80. What colour pants? None on.

81. Favourite tv show? In the dark

82. Favourite movie? All 50 shades.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? First one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? How do these compare

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? The Lebanese chick

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Turtles

87. First person you talked to today? Gage

88. Last person you talked to today? Myself

89. Name a person you hate? Hate is a strong word.

90. Name a person you love? Gage

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Lol Geoff

92. In a fight with someone? No

93. How many sweatpants do you have? No idea

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Too many

95. Last movie you watched? “What if”

96. Favourite actress? Perry Mattfeld

97. Favourite actor? Hmmmm

98. Do you tan a lot?yassss

99. Have any pets? A zoo

100. How are you feeling? Confused, tired burning out ..

101. Do you type fast? I try

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes

103. Can you spell well? Eh

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes

108. What should you be doing? Listing stuff on Etsy

109. Is something irritating you right now? No

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Absolutely

111. Do you have trust issues? No, just don’t give me a reason too.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Ohhhh I don’t cry in front of ppl,cause then there’s a witness... did cry today tho, but you couldn’t see me.

113. What was your childhood nickname? Angiefur

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?not really

116. Are you listening to music right now? No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes

119. Favourite book? Crank

120. Are you afraid of the dark?some times

121. Are you mean? Don’t cross me 😘

122. Do you believe in “the one that got away”? Yes.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I try

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Idk

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes

126. Are you currently bored? Yes

127. What makes you happy? Attention lol romance? I think romance is dead tho...

128. Would you change your name? My last name? If I were getting married, yes

129. What your zodiac sign? Leo

130. Do you like subway? Food yes, smelly train no....

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? All my besties have vaginas, nothing to worry about.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve

133. Favourite lyrics right now? Brand new : Jesus Christ

134. Can you count to one million? Yea but why

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t lie so I don’t have that problem

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed Cause only 1 Of my 4 asshole cats I allowed in my room

137. How tall are you? Oh how short am I? 5’1

138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde? Right now black

140. Summer or Winter?summer

141. Night or Day? Summer nights

142. Favourite month? August

143. Are you a vegetarian? Keto

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee

146. Was today a good day? I think so

147. Mars or Snickers? Dark chocolate Milky Way

148. What’s your favourite quote? I’d have to think about it

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“His thumb brushes my lower lip, and his breath hitches. He’s staring into my eyes, and I hold his anxious, burning gaze for a moment, or maybe it’s forever…but eventually, my attention is drawn to his beautiful mouth. And for the first time in twenty-one years, I want to be kissed.”

Excerpt From

Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed

E L James

This material may be protected by copyright.

#Spotify

1 note · View note

housebaylor · 5 years

Text

Some Sapphire Flames thoughts, beware big spoilers under the cut

Where to start?

I regret never making a list of my actual preditions for the book, I would have won many MANY many bets.

Rogan who? - In books most of the time I never feel atration for the male protagonist, my mind and heart always stays with the female protagonist, (even with IA books, only Arland, Hugh and Roman have my heart). BUT this time Alessandro won me completely he felt very different from other male protagonists, yes I got a little bit annoyed with his multiple tries to leave Catalina behind… but aside for that I really liked him! His flirting made me laugh a lot, I love how cheesy it was.

And Catalina wow, I love so much the fact she is not a combat character, I think this is the main reason Ilona is worried about the book, and in my opinion all this factors gave the books a breath of fresh air. I cannot wait to see Catalina grow in a manipulative (and cunning 👀) but also compasionate Head of the House, I really really want her to be the female version of Augustine.

That promise she did with Victoria is going to be a PAIN, and I’m gonna enjoy it so much. Some months ago I was talking with @/Lemon_Cookie (in tw) of how I wanted to see Catalina with someone else before finally ending with Alessandro, and yes! it seems it is really gonna happen (and Linus also mentioned there were other mages interested in her 👀)

ohhh that kiss scene, shtt, when a book author said that it was “hotter than other sex scenes” I got very high expectations about it. When they first kissed I was like “okayy…” but then… wow, really wow.

I didn’t know I need it but I’m loving and thankfull for the hinted romance between Mom and Heart!! Also there is also the hint between Bern and Runa, I’m still not sure what to think about it tbh.

I love Bug’s part in the book, kinda sad he didn’t appeared a lot in the second half of it. AND NOOOO NAPOLEOON!!!! I’m gonna go a give him a new puppy.

I loved Runa in DF, so seeing her in pain in this book made me really sad, cannot wait to see her back in the next book with her sister and werewolf brother lol. And I cannot have enough of the friendship between her and Arabella! I had a lot of fun with those two!

Also Leon and Alessandro feud was really entertaining, and L&B overprotectiveness was sooo cute, ohhh in the next books they are probably gonna be more!

About the villains, I love it, I never expected for IA to go the club of assasins route, and honestly I thought the serum plot was going to be saved for Arabella’s trilogy.

And Arabella… that girl is gonna get in BIG trouble… she asks Catalina to not to do her a “Nevada” but that is what she is doing, and she is also hiding her magic to the family, I hope, and I expectd for to Leon be suspicious of her and be with her in the bad times.

With the Warden thing, I have my doubts of Linus being Caesar, but I do believe this new serum thing is somehow connected to the past conspiration. And with Alessandro’s hints, Linus may be really the girls grandad, or family. And well none of the girls has manifest his weapon magic so :/ idk.

Talking about weapons, Alessandro cloning magic is so cool! I wonder if that ability can do more.

And back to Linus, he is actually a good grandad, that small talk with him and Lina was so real, and love ever piece of it. But ughhh I’m afraid, If he is Caesar he is gonna manipulate Catalina to be at “his side”. Also are there more people in his House?? Does he have Kids?? a heir?? Was this one of the reasons Victoria made Catalina make that promise? If I can’t have them under my foot neither you Linus??.

A favorite scene? I cannot chose right now, the habanero made me laught A LOT, the last battle part with Benedict was very good, Catalina and Alessandro in the highway was also *chef kisses*, Sandro in Lina’s bed (the first scene) was also very very funny, the bathroom make out is also a strong contender)

** and 👀👀👀 Alessandro’s family, ohhh can’t wait to learn more about them.

*** I found the Nevada thing childish, but very in character, I can see Nevada fans getting angry about it, but eh, it is Catalina’s time

*** The Baylor humor is rubbing on Matilda

Anyway in my first reading I ended with 64 highlights, time for the second re-read. I have more things in my head, but I’m gonna cut it there :D

HE WAS LEAVING.

#hidden legacy #Sapphire Flames #hidden legacy spoilers #sapphire flames spoilers #sfspoilers #*hidden legacy #asdgfk I... it turned very long #sorry for my english #I keep editing and adding stuff

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pcthstrayed · 5 years

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( ross butler, 19, he/him ) welcome to san francisco, ARLO PARK. rumor has it they are a WITCH/DARKLIGHTER, but only they could tell you the truth! when i close my eyes, i think of them and imagine BLOODSTAINS SCRUBBED OUT OF CREAM COLORED CARPETS, LYFT SCOOTERS, AND THE PRODIGAL SON.

are you as tired of me doing intros as i am? ‘cuz bruh. you’re getting the lazy sparknotes version bc i’m tired and gay.

arlo is penelope park’s cousin! sadly he ( thinks he is ) tragically heterosexual, but it would have been nice if the family radiated big gay energy. idk maybe it isn’t too late for him, we’ll see. he’s also a student at salvatore. i think he used to go to a public school back home, but i think Some Fucked Up Things Happened and his mom panicked and decided he needed to be around some more positive role models. hence why he was sent to salvatore.

speaking of Some Fucked Up Things... arlo’s dad is Not a good guy. i want to say he uses his magic for evil, and it’s gotten him ostracized from the coven. arlo has always been his dad’s closest ally, and sort of confidante, so his mom was shooketh when she found out that not only was bad dad bad, but that arlo had known all along and hadn’t said anything. he thought he could contain it, maybe talk him out of some of his terrible ideas, but his dad is Not OK and needs help. but everything fell apart, his parents divorced and his dad is basically m.i.a. now. rip.

( edit oct 2019 ) but here is the thing y’all, arlo’s dad is not his biological father. when his parents were trying to have kids they found out his dad couldn’t have kids. so they used a sperm donor and voila arlo was born! tbh arlo is pretty dumb so i don’t think he’s really even like become cognizant of the fact that he and his dad don’t look alike, and don’t have much in common. is this ignorance or naivety? idk, if your parents tell you something who are you to question it. anyways his mom never told him the truth even after everything with his dad bc she was afraid she would lose him. he was already closer with his father and she could feel him slipping down the wrong path. fear is a powerful motivator y’all.

personality wise he’s a ‘lil emo, a lil dramatic, always thinks people are talking shit about him. in his defense, a lot of times they are. his dad kind of fucked up their family’s reputation and since he’s from california ( i wanna say malibu ), he’s lived in this area for most of his life so it’s not really a fresh start. he’s also pissed he can’t go home and visit his dogs which is a fucking mood and a half.

since his family is a mess, his family’s money is... dwindling, i could see him doing magic for hire on the side. basically you want something done? something you’re not super proud of or above board? he’ll help you out my dudes, dudettes, and persons. he’s got you.

UPDATE JAN 26, 2020

arlo has tapped into that park family gay energy and acknowledged his chaotic bisexual energy. he has feelings for both amber and callum and is trying to come to terms with everything. yet — lmao, his sexuality is hardly the biggest situation at the current moment in time.

after callum murdered maya marceli in cold blood, arlo helped him bury the body. he didn’t hesitate, simply did what needed to be done. it wasn’t the first time he helped someone dispose of a body and the only reason he felt bad about it was because it was maya. he knew her, he liked her, but he’d have done anything to protect callum.

his best friend, bradley duke ( @teenagewste ) recently got involved with finn mikaelson. when the vampire was whammied by the horseman famine, he came up with a contingency plan to ensure he would never end up daggered. a spell was put in place and as soon as he was daggered, he body-jumped straight into arlo and left town while the barrier was down. bye bye body.

in order to make sure his friend doesn’t spend his prime years in a coffin, bradley spelled arlo into the body of morgan cummings — a triggered, very angry werewolf, who isn’t pleased about the situation. until they can track down finn with a locator spell, this is really the best of the bad options.

remember how i said arlo doesn’t know his bio dad ? turns out, his bio dad is jack of darklighter fame. so not only is he a witch but he’s a darklighter. somewhere in tahiti, finn mikaelson is having a fuckin’ field day. arlo doesn’t know any of this yet tho sooooo lmao we’re in for a STORM.

UPDATE FEB 22, 2020

so the angry werewolf kept trying to kill them both, so bradley bradley started looking for a new body to throw his friend into. he found a dumb, tall, white dude, who was seemingly human and normal and said yes, this is the right one. so arlo jumped into aiden kincaid’s body and eh voila.

arlo reluctantly agrees, mostly bc he’s afraid of morgan, and he jumps in. except, yeah, this body’s in transition. he has a choice to make; feed, or die. except he doesn’t because oops, yeah, he fed. now he’s a vampire soooo this should be fun !!

UPDATE APRIL 8, 2020

after removing famine’s ring from daniel warren / levi stone’s finger, it was given to finn mikaelson ( in the body of arlo park ) for safekeeping. while the horseman might be out of commission for now, he was very cognizant of the fact that it would likely only be temporary.

self preservation in mind, finn did the only thing that made sense. he found a body that no one would assume him to ever take — her name was fiona michaels. the irony wasn’t lost on him and he thought it was a very tongue-in-cheek way of hiding in plain sight. ( no one would expect a mikaelson to be that obtuse. ) he put arlo’s body on ice and delivered it back to him with a intricately scrawled thank you note with, of course, no mention of the danger he would potentially be in if daniel / levi / famine ever decided to retaliate. oops.

arlo got his body back, moved back home with his mother, and had his boyfriend move in too. they’ve never had the ‘what are we’ talk, but they can barely spend a few hours apart so it feels kind of inevitable. he’s still in the closet with his mother though because if she knew the truth, they certainly wouldn’t be allowed to share his room anymore. this is a lie he doesn’t mind keeping. besides, they owe him.

his parents are trying to marry him off to victoria villalobos. her father made an arrangement with his father. as far as his mother knows, spades is a respectable businessman and it’s a good family. she thinks this is good for him, that he could be happy. ( she, after all, married for love and all it brought her was pain. ) he tried to say no, tried to stand up to his father for once in his life, but he made it clear there was no choice. if arlo messes this up, it’s his mother’s blood on his hands. so he’s going to marry victoria because he has no other choice. to protect his family, he’d do anything. the worst part is that as much as he hates his father, he still loves him. no matter what he does, what lines he crosses, his devotion is almost pathological. there is a part of him too that wonders if he’s destined to become his father even though he’s done everything in his power to resist it. he killed a version of himself from some other timeline, not to mention he helped bury an innocent girl, so if there’s a slippery slope he feels like he’s skidding dangerously close to it.

he is on the verge of discovering his darklighter powers so stay tuned for that.

CONNECTIONS

- people that finn mikaelson might have crossed or pissed off when he was in his body. - someone finn might have helped when he was riding arlo’s body. (taken by henrik) - he’s learning how to orb so winding up in different places might be kind of funny. bonus points if it’s at awkward or inopportune times. - someone who knows about dark lighters / what this orbing means so that he can sort of understand wtf is happening and how it’s possible. (taken by parker) - he walks dogs so maybe he made a friend while out walking them?????

#apx:intro #tw: murder #tw: violence

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lydsfm · 5 years

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funny how i’ve had this bitch for a good year or so, began using her in january, Stopped, and have absolutely no recollection of the bg i made up for her since it’s likely in a dm i’ve lost track of SFSGFLDK so we’re starting over !! i’m gonna make this short and sweet bc dealing with three kids under the age of ten when i could’ve been wrapping this up a few hours ago took me O U T, not to mention i’m watching masterchef as i type this, but i’m kat, about to become an old hag come sunday bc i turn 22 and.. idk, i could use a glass of moscato right about now sdfjlkgdf enough about me bc you’ll see me bitching about something soon enough, so with that i’ll introduce you all to miss lydia hyunh ! stats will be up later hopefully, plots..... we’re going off the cuff with them until i cave and make one up so until then —

╰ * ✶ . ever notice lydia hyunh kinda looks like hillary trinh ? they’ve got 4.8m followers on instagram, but that’s no surprise. their instagram bio says they identify as cis female and go by she/her. they just turned twenty-one, right? word around la is they’re kinda vainglorious and nonchalant, but you couldn’t tell online. does it matter when your family’s net worth is $270m? ❪ kat, she/her, gmt-2:30 ❫

she comes from a new money family at the helm of a hong kong-based real estate development firm, but her geographical background is a tad more complex than that sijfg

not to mention her mother being a miss universe contestant-turned-supermodel who still walked the occasional runway after two kids à la the iconic 2010s victoria’s secret models, but anyways —

her dad’s a british national ( and started off as a financier, then switched to real estate, tHEN became a cfo of his own firm fdgsdklfdgfl ) as are she and her brother, so while he and his family were busy building up their company with many trips abroad, lydia, her brother and her mom hung back in london for the most part — though some of her summers were spent in hong kong or along the beaches of the mediterranean when she wasn’t embracing the countryside of her home country during term breaks

however, at age 10, she and the family moved to edinburgh so she could attend a more prestigious private school — and so they could be a bit closer to her brother who was spending time at the renowned st. andrew’s university

.. basically, i need a sister in arms when it comes to bastardized accents, so have this british bitch with a scottish twinge FDSGJSHDGFSLK

speaking of her brother, they clearly have a sizeable age gap, so while they do love each other and all that, they aren’t necessarily close. he’s primed to be something of an heir and he’s more than cool with that, while lyds is more keen on taking her time to figure out what she wants to do with her life and her parents encourage it..... not to say he was ever pressured but, y’know

all the while, mama hyunh was busy appearing on.. idk, something like america’s next top model and project runway when she could — maybe even masterchef ?? GJSFGF — trying to work her schedule around lydia by taking her with her on sick days or during the summer months

so lydia had a taste of hollywood during her early teens with these trips, absolutely enamoured, fucking gobsmacked that her mom was in the industry bc with the way they lived back home it was as if she was merely privileged as hell

connection idea right there folks !

should note bc it feels weird to glaze over it even if it disrupts the flow, but lydia ?? LOVES her mom. so much. she’s a family girl in general, but she really does look up to her mom and appreciates the little things she does to help or impress her

we’re all about wholesome family relationships here, js SLKFDGJSLFD but anyways

she keeps up this lifestyle of studying in edinburgh, travelling wherever the fuck her parents wish to take her and getting ( almost ) whatever she wants

bc if there’s one thing either of her parents put to her, it was to know her limits and to at least recognize her privilege, even if they knew she was a little too spoiled in her own way to be thoroughly humbled. sounds fake but i always thought of them as traditional hard workers who want their kids to be the same, so 😔

and with that, upon graduating and attending uni in glasgow the following fall, lydia kinda.. separated herself from some aspects of her wealth, wanting to be a normal student with some obvious luxuries bc. she can’t help herself fsdgljgdfs

especially when you have a damn model for a mom and you’re Kinda known to be her kid

and yknow what, it worked out for the most part. ofc she couldn’t hide her roots so people knew this annoying brat came from money, but they weren’t complaining bc at least it meant they had some GREAT parties bc of some loans she’d give out for the sake of having a good time herself

long story short, she loved uni, still does, but she loves the breaks even more as she’s been consistently visiting hollywood since she was 18. mama hyunh became more involved in being a tv personality now that both kids were out of the nest and her husband kept himself occupied with work ( when he couldn’t see her, which ofc is routine as he recently moved up to be ceo ), so she spends much of her time in beverly hills

so much so that lyds’ summers were spent reconnecting with her mom, and having a wild time on the side too gfsdkjgfd

this year, however, her dad decided to open an office in l.a. to be more present with his wife. and to capitalize on the market

and after hearing that.. something in lydia Snapped. ksldfgjkldf like she v quickly decided to take a break from school and stay here for a bit

which some would find weird bc really ? NOW ? when your parents are around ?? but eh....... using the excuse of “ family bonding ” to really take advantage of whatever ounce of star power she has here is fine by her LFSKDGJSDFG

probably lives with her two cousins to save her ass from being dragged

PERSONALITY AND OTHER SHIT

according to my little blurb on my p much Dead indie: “ ( upper middle class-turned ) trust fund baby who tries to downplay her privilege but usually fails; adventurous and charming, she's a soft player who likes being pursued so long as she calls the shots ”

so uh.. that hasn’t changed much GFLKSDFL

i love the ( closet ) sad little rich girl and all those classic tropes as much as the next person, but lydia happens to be one of the most unbothered chicks you’ll probably ever meet FGJKSDG

vulnerability ?? don’t know her ! she’s just here for a good time and doesn’t know anything But !

laidback af, not to mention i never saw her as particularly defensive of her status and such, and i’m sure her uni life reflected that all by itself

the fact that she’s had it relatively easy in the sense of no real trauma or family issues helps, who knows fdsjglk

doesn't mean she won't lay into you if the time calls for it, especially if you have a god complex or something. she’s of the mindset, “ you do you and i’ll do me, but act like a fool and i’ll happily remind you of it for the rest of your days, ” so it's safe to say that someone could bring out the bitch that lurks beneath if they're not careful SGFJDKLGF

can she be selfish and indulgent ?? .. yes, but does she carry herself as such ? ………. also yes, bUT not by much, which makes a difference !

LKSFDGLF jk, but she is restrained in how she displays these tendencies ( for the most part ) or else she probably would’ve gotten her ass handed to her back in uni. thank god she’s well-mannered enough

wild child ! gets around ! don’t think i need to elaborate aside from the fact that she’d rather NOT get an sti or wind up in the er over dumb shit, so there’s a sense of caution with it all

basically, she can be materialistic as hell and takes advantage of the shit she has while she has it, but she’s practical enough to know her limits or to just. know better

idfk, i feel like this makes zero sense bc i’m so drained, that this seems like it could be the setup for a m*ry s*e which..... ew, and that i’m missing a lot of extras but i’m DEAD so we’ll leave it there fdklgjsg

#╳┊: — we packin’ diamond pistols ! •「 ooc ! 」#opuintro #watch me completely overhaul this bc it's so messy and Lame DFGJFKSDL

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mytearsrricochet · 6 years

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I’m having the biggest dilemma so strap in

before college I had the biggest crush on my friend Nick who goes to my college too. we met through those class group chats that exist so you can meet other students. his name is the exact same name as a hockey player of a team I like so we bonded pretty fast. soon we became really good friends via Snapchat (this was the February-July before I started college in 2017). he used to call me Bunny because once we took the bdsm test together and it said I’m a rope bunny so he thought it was funny and that was my nickname.

he also called me his wife. we were super close and i idk how but we just called each other husband and wife. it was completely platonic but man I had a crush on him. funny enough he ended up in the same dorm building as me and there was a group Snapchat made of people who lived in our dorm, and we made a bit of a friend group of people from the dorm. this included me, my roommate, nick, and 4 other guys who would be our best friends for the year.

one day I sent a Snapchat to nick of my best friend from home, Victoria. he was instantly intrigued because Victoria is small and cute and super pretty. they were instantly interested in each other and while Victoria knew about my crush, I wasn’t gonna let it stop her because i knew for a fact he never liked me and never would because I don’t look like the kind of girl he likes.

the first weekend of college I went to my first frat party and got mad drunk. like super plastered. nick was with me and walked me home and I stupidly told him I had had a huge crush on him. he said he figured because I had been upset when he and Victoria started talking.

anyway Victoria and nick dates for a few months and broke up. I’m still best friends with both of them. for awhile my crush on him went on and off, like sometimes I’d find myself thinking about him differently or staring too long at his lips or when I got drunk on the weekends I’d wander up to his room and talk to him for hours because I just wanted to be around him.

eventually I got over my crush and just thought eh he’s one of my really close friends and I just wanna be around him more because that’s what happens with friends. anyway I went up to visit him and our other friends a few days ago since he lives about 4 hours away and I stayed overnight as his house since it’s a long drive. we were sitting outside by the fire and I just realized bro....I still have feelings for this guy. I met his family and they were super nice and I think that didn’t help. another thing that didn’t help is that when he came home from classes and walked into his house (me and our friends were already there since he left the door open for us) he made a beeline for me and had this huge smile on his face and he hugged he really tight since we haven’t seen each other since April.

so now I’m sitting here thinking about him and realizing I might have honest to god feelings for my best friends ex boyfriend who is also my best guy friend but I’m not at all his type since he liked skinny cute girls and I’m a chubby cute girl and he doesn’t see me the way i see him and I can never tell him although I’m sure next time we get drunk together I’ll let him know but then I have my best friend who is over their breakup but also kinda hates him now!!!

I just needed to vent because I love him so much (completely platonically, he’s just my best friend) but I also really really.....have feelings for him and they’ve been on and off for literally a year and a half but I kind of think they’re always gonna be kinda.....there and that scares me.

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fraulein-ciano · 6 years

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I was tagged by @cheshireelims. Thank ya, lovely! <3

I will tag any of my mutuals who are bored and want to kill a minute or two, I guess?

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SONG(S) TO SING/HUM?

For singing: In the shower I really love to sing Those Were the Days and City of Stars. And various songs I learned in choir back in the day.

For Humming: This treasure of a ditty. It’s Cool. Cool cool cool.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER/TREE/PLANT?

Sunflowers! Favorite tree is the Jacaranda. Do you know how much I wish I could grow a jacaranda? Ain’t no way that’s happening the PNW... le sigh. I love cypress trees too.

FAVOURITE COLOURS?

Purples (especially the warmer hues) and cool deep reds.

WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS DOODLE?

3/4 OC bust, looking left? Or random outfit ideas I have for said OCs.

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE/TEA?

Coffee: 2 I.D. Sweet Creams, 2 bops of cayenne pepper, 2.5 smacks of cinnamon

Tea: Generally with honey, or with splenda if there’s no honey around. I drink my licorice and throat coat teas without sweetening. And I just take milk/cream in my chai.

FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT?

Uhhhh... fresh linen? IDK. I don’t buy candles. I smell them and appreciate them in the store, and then immediately forget about them.

SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

Sunset... because I’m awake for that...

WHAT PERFUME DO YOU WEAR?

Don’t wear perfume. As a teen I had one from Victoria’s Secret Bath & Body Works called something like Fantasia di Ciocolata .

If I had to chose one though, a rose-scented one. Actually now that I think of it, rose would work for candle too.

WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO DANCE MOVE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE?

More or less the Charleston. And it is not relegated only to lonely dancing. Oh no, I take that out to the public eye. And people love it. Or they say they do...

FAVOURITE QUOTE?

“The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things! Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax! Of cabbages and kings! And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether ships have wings!” - Lewis Carroll

I don’t like inspirational quotes, okay?

FAVOURITE SELF CARE ROUTINE(S)?

Er, making my coffee and garlic bagel on Saturday and Sunday mornings? It’s really the only “routine” I have.

FUZZY SOCKS OR HOUSE SLIPPERS?

Socks. Like, I love my mukluks (boot slippers) when they are brand new, but sweat quickly mattes the woo,l and it gets knobbly and gross.

WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES?

Hazel.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR ON OTHERS?

Brown. And every time someone complains about having brown eyes, I tell them to shut up and that I will gladly take their eyeballs.

FAVOURITE SEASON? WHY?

I think Spring. I feel most productive in spring. I love the cherry blossoms. It’s when I get to start venturing out of the house on little adventures.

NECK, CHEEK, OR NOSE KISSES?

Cheek, I guess? I really prefer to give kisses on the temple/top of head.

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPY PLACE LOOK LIKE?

Somewhere beautiful (either in nature or some architectural marvel) on a sunny but mild day, with my camera in hand.

Used to be Disney Parks, but Disney has done so much wrong as of late with the parks, that much of my love has sadly waned.

FAVOURITE BREED OF DOG?

I CAN’T CHOOSE. One of the medium to large breeds. A Herding or Hunting breed. That’s about as narrow as I can get.

DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE MARRIED?

Eh. Not really. Marriage is like, for romance. I don’t particularly want that. I just want the best friend, someone to go on adventures aspect. And I have a good set of best friends.

CURSIVE OR PRINT?

Print. Cursive is just illegible. Have you ever tried to decipher Italian civil records from the 19th and early 20th centuries? It’s a nightmare. And it’s cursive’s fault.

FAVOURITE WEATHER?

Partly cloudy.

#tag game #about me #me

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thisselflovecamebacktome · 6 years

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Before The Storm thoughts

So before starting, I want you all to know that I went into the first two episodes spoiler free. Like I watched no trailers, saw no posts, just really knew nothing about this game to the point of thinking that it was going to be about Rachel’s downfall with Frank and Jefferson. I was then told that that wasn’t the case just before this episode came out. To be honest, and I’ll talk about this more later, in short I wish it was. I think my overall “eh” ness reaction about this game comes down to two issues.

Firstly, by having a game with Rachel in it, they take away a lot of the mystery that made her interesting in the first place. Like the reason she was such a fan favourite in the first game was because there was a mystery to her. Like every single character in the game saw Rachel Amber in a different light so we couldn’t help but be like “What was she really like? Was she the perfect girl, a master manipulator or somewhere in between?” and left to our own conclusions. This isn’t to say that you could never have a game where they get it right with her, but it’s such a thin line and I just personally don’t think they nailed it.

On the topic of perceptions of Rachel, I do want to make a few notes before we go on. To be extremely honest, I’m super surprised that people felt this game villainised her more than the first game and made her seem “selfish and manipulative”. I won’t lie, as much as I shipped Amberprice in the first game and understood that Rachel was meant to be a troubled soul hiding under the mask of perfection, that was the overall impression I got from that game, In comparison, I feel like they did a lot better to push the “troubled” part of her in this game. I still think she had her selfish and manipulative tendencies, whether meaning to or not, but it’s clearer to me now that Chloe wasn’t just some midway point or escape for Rachel and I do think that the fandom needs to realise it can be both. Like she can care for Chloe but also have those moments just as Chloe did with Max in the original game.

Just on that note, I need to lowkey rant. I said it during the original games and I’ll say it now; this game and it’s fandom continues to villainise Max for the smallest shit. Like the way you go on about how horrible she was to Chloe for not getting in contact? She was what, 12 when she left and 14 when Chloe’s dad died? When I went to a different high school than my peers/friends in the same city, do you know how many of them I was talking to a year later? 0. Same with when I left year 12. Not to mention Max could have quite easily had just as dramatic stuff going on in her life at the time. All we ever know is Chloe’s side and Max’s guilt when she comes back. Like yeah, in a perfect world everyone would keep in contact, but shit happens and the fact that is still a thing I see in like every second post is just exhausting tbh.

Now that I’ve said that, back to Rachel. I like that Victoria didn’t like her before everything to be honest. It allows us to keep some of that ambiguity surrounding Rachel. What I didn’t like is that the one character who was alive that brought up legitimate issues surrounding Chloe’s behaviour since befriending Rachel ended up being a insanely jealous arguably abusive stalker as opposed to actual concerned friend. And before people come with me saying Chloe wasn’t exactly a saint before, I know, but she please do not act like the shit she did in those 3 (?) days wasn’t on a higher level than her actions before. Like here’s the thing, I never expected Chloe to listen to anyone telling her to stay away, and hell, they didn’t even have to be completely right. Like regardless of how he went about it, Chloe had the right to tell Eliot that he wasn’t at the meeting where she got expelled so didn’t have the full picture. But to have him go from “I’m concerned and here for you” at the hospital to flat out fuckboy mode with “I was here for you when no one was. No one loves you but me!” at Rachel’s house without having another character who was alive to also share legitimate concerns was kinda offputting to me. It also took away from that ambiguity of Rachel in my opinion.

My second issue with this game is that it just felt too disconnected to the first one. I know that they didn’t want to have it have anything to do with the first game, but honestly, I think that was a mistake. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of having Chloe and Rachel meet in the game was great. The fact they showed Rachel was troubled was great. But the truth of the matter is that some random story about Rachel’s biological mother that wasn’t even important enough to mention in the first game despite it being extremely hinted as the start of the end for Rachel just seemed too far left wing and out of the ballpark to me. And I get that two separate companies made the two different games, but to be honest, I still would have liked something a little more relevant.

And that’s where I think perhaps they should have gone with the “safe” option of Rachel’s downfall and left this as dlc. And by that, I don’t think it needed to be page by page like a full episode on Rachel and Jefferson getting closer or her fucking Frank or whatever to show she’s gone off the rails. Like I would have been happy if we had an episode ending with Jefferson walking in and introducing himself, next episode Rachel saying she joined the photography class and just mentions from there of how well she gets along with Jefferson. I mean if they were going to put that implication at the end of the game that she had gone off the rails before her death scene, they could have at least done something to lead up to it. Like at least show us how Chloe and Rachel get to the point where Chloe flat out believes Rachel left her behind. Also to be honest, as much as Frank/Rachel is creepy full stop considering he’s what 30? and she’s 16ish, I kinda expected them to be a slow grow relationship. Like idk, I expected him to actually dislike her at first and not show feelings until they hung out more, so to see him just check her out straight off made me feel even more uncomfortable at their relationship.

Alternatively, if they really wanted a Chloe focused game, one on her reaction to Rachel going missing. Show us her searching for Rachel. End it with Max coming into the picture. Idk, just something.

I also felt this game just didn’t work with the cannon of the first game very well. Like I already mentioned about the biological mother story not even being a mention, but there’s also little things like Rachel’s bracelet being found with Frank (? It was Frank right, or was it on the body) despite Sera or Chloe potentially having it at the end of this one and so on.

Not to mention I really feel like they took away everything the first game tried to push about Nathan. Like the first game really pushed that yeah, he fucked up, did horrible things and had psychological issues, but a lot of those were a result of being severely manipulated by Jefferson. Meanwhile this game implies he beat Samantha to the point of her having broken ribs (at least that’s what I got from his father threatening her mother at the hospital) and that her leaving caused him to snap. Both of which happens long before Jefferson shows up. Like just her leaving I could get because quite frankly, loneliness leaves a person open to manipulation, but the broken ribs? Nah.

Basically what I’m saying is that the game probably could have worked okay as a standalone game, but I felt it, and specifically episode 3, was rushed and doesn’t work work in relation to the original Life Is Strange game.

#life is strange #before the storm

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neekoftheforest · 7 years

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Maia you know what's coming I'm making you answer alllll of the honesty hour questions better get to work ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜💜💚💚💚💚

BRUH, I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING AHHHA. I'm in love with a lot of people tbhB. Last person I talked to on the phone was my dadC. I've never been kissed lmaaooD. I prefer boys but girls are great too!E. I have zero (0) holes in my earsF. Ummm, coldG. Last person who heard me say I said I love you was my dad H. Last person I hugged was my friend WillI. Last time I felt jealous was today because the person I like is far away rn and other people get to spend time with him and I don't get to ahhhJ. I'm insecure and pretty my everything oops but especially what I look like while I'm sleeping for some reasonK. My full name is Maia Noelle Fairbairn-WiebeL. I have 2 siblingsM. Idk if I forgive betrayal, I've never been betrayedN. I treat my friends like they are the absolute most beautiful creatures on the planet but I will also roast them hardcore any chance I getO. I loved my highschool. It was terrible and broken but all my best memories were made there I miss it so much I'm gonna cryyyP. I reeeeaaallly like clarinet music tbh but I'll listen to anythingQ. Last party I went to was at my friend Maddie's house, it was sooooo fun. The next party I'm going to is this weekend I thinkR. I am curious about; the ocean, space, love, culture, religion, words, boys, music, emotions, and basically everything. I do a lot of wonderingS. Two of my habits are; ripping the skin off of my fingers when I'm stressed and playing with any bit of fabric on my clothingT. Five things I love unconditionally are my dog, books, music, sleep, and my friendsU. Oh boy, I send anywhere between 20-300 texts a day oopsV. Three big dreams of mine are to be a librarian, be a musician, and to travel the worldW. An idol of mine would have to be Victoria Dariano, she is a body positive fitness lady and she has really inspired me!!X. I regret not practicing flute more oftenY. Eh, I'm sort of indifferent towards my town. It's not a bad place to live but it's not great. I love Rockos and there is very little traffic but nothing ever happens here

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amorremanet · 7 years

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OC asks/questions: 8, 15, 21, 25, 32? Also if that's not already too much: finish the sentence meme for Lucy?

Okay, I did intend to do the finish the sentence meme, but as it stands, it’s almost 4AM and I’ve been binge-watching old Outside X-Box list videos to stay awake, so…… I’ll get back to that one

8: What’s the most common physical characteristic of your OCs? What about personality trait?

Physically, a lot of my OCs are ridiculously tall. I blame having my concept of average human heights skewed when I was a child, due to having several ridiculously tall relatives, and then having my ideas further skewed in my adolescence by a mix of shoujo and magical girl anime/manga (where the hottest characters, like Tenou Haruka, or designated love interest characters, like Chiba Mamoru and Kashino Rei, the “troubled but cute” pretty boy from MARS, are tall), and the Vampire Chronicles (where most of the vampires are tall, beautiful, and incredibly gay or bisexual)

Personality-wise, “troubled but cute” is probably my most overused character type. Even more specifically, “troubled, but cute, and they have a good heart, they’re trying their best, but they’re still troubled and sometimes (often) make incredibly bad decisions because I felt like it would be a fun time to make them do so”

15: Do you have any AUs? — Short answer: yes. Longer answer: yes, and some of them are going to be canon, because I have the self-restraint of a magpie, and figured that…… eh, whatever, screw it, I’m nixing several of the other more credulity-straining and ridiculous elements of the by-its-very-nature ridiculous and credulity-straining superhero genre, so I can have a canon multiverse if I please. Which I do, because it’s fun. For me. Anyway, some of the canon AUs are:

The AU where most of the major points are still the same, but also, Silent Hill. Not that it will actually be called, “Silent Hill” because of blah blah copyright, but I primarily got the idea of, “horrible demonic monsters conjured out of people’s guilt and psychological issues” from the Silent Hill series, and I’m not going to pretend I didn’t.

Also, unlike Silent Hill proper, the nasty pieces of work in this universe do not have the decency to just stay confined to one small town in Middle of Nowhere, Maine. They’re everywhere.

Anyway, some of the characters from this AU get dragged into the prime timeline (tentatively) in book three, as part of a Totally Brilliant (not really) scheme by a handful of the fascist supervillain douchebags to distract that annoying ragtag band of misfit anti-fascist heroes from the actual evil plan going on. Nobody is happy about this.

Especially not when some of the monsters decide to join in on the universe-hopping fun-times. Whoops.

The AU where a lot of the major points are more or less the same, but human technology is more advanced and, in keeping with some of the more idealistic mid-20th century sci-fi concepts, while our cast in the prime timeline are dealing with neo-fascism and shit, humans in this AU are getting welcomed into It’s Not The Federation From Star Trek Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued, But It Is Basically The Same Idea, and dating aliens.

Pete’s AU counterpart got into what is basically an alien university’s MFA program in theatre. He’s the first Terran to do so, period. He has an alien boyfriend, he has never been to rehab (though, uh. He’s still an addict. And still using. So, there’s that), and his prime-timeline counterpart is going to initially think he’s pretty awesome, and progressively get super sick of basically everything about him.

The AU where Seb, Pete, Stephen, Josie, and Todd are essentially a boy band. Because of reasons. Anyone who gets dragged into the prime timeline from this AU is going to be really confused by literally everything else, because this AU is probably the closest one to how our own universe works, so like…… Imagine that you abruptly get yanked into [pick a superhero comic book universe], after a lifetime of believing that it’s all, “just stories.” It would be confusing and more than a bit alienating.

Which is not to say that this AU is all rainbows and kittens or whatever, but the problems facing the main cast are things like, “Everyone in the band has to be closeted because there’s still homophobia and transphobia,”

“Pete and Josie have probably never gotten treatment for their respective eating disorders, and Stephen may well have developed one from the fact that, boy bands are generally not allowed to have fat members, which would also mean that he’s ridiculously unhealthy since his body’s happy, healthy place? Just so happens to be fat,”

“On one hand, Todd and maybe Pete have probably never had substance abuse problems. But on the other hand, Seb still has and it’s probably very seriously exacerbated by several factors,” and so on.

Which isn’t to say that those things aren’t important and complicated problems, or that the prime timeline characters DON’T have to deal with similar things just because they’re in a superhero world (since…… they DO have to deal with those things or at least very similar ones)

But there’s a pretty significant difference between things like, “trying to stay clean” and, “trying to prevent a bunch of neo-fascist supervillain douchebags from staging a bullshit fake attack at a debate between potential Republican nominees for the US presidency, which will probably end up killing a bunch of people if it’s allowed to go on, and is part of a longer-running, slow-burn scheme to essentially make this dickbag senator from Virginia the President-in-All-But-Name”

And the boy band AU characters are super-unprepared to deal with the latter sort of problem

The AU where it’s a vaguely cyberpunk dystopia because I felt like it, that’s why.

The AU where instead of superpowers, everyone has magic

Which is going to frustrate Lucy to no end, when she has to meet her AU self from this universe, because sure, this AU has different systems and rules for how the magic works, but no one can tell her what the Hell makes it go aside from, “idk, it’s magic” and that’s not an acceptable explanation to her

—But, as she’s going to hear from someone, this isn’t actually any different from how superpowers work in the main timeline, like? They know that the superpowers are caused by genetic mutations. They can figure out different ways of handling said superpowers and systems of how to approach and understand them……

But if we look at Josie’s telepathy/empathy, Lucy’s hemokinesis, Sara Grace’s super-speed and neato super-voice tricks, Seb’s “they don’t call it lycanthropy but only because that’s already a thing; it’s essentially lycanthropy with a shot of therianthropy, animal empathy, and a healing factor that would make Deadpool jealous,” Yael’s ferrokinesis and magnetism powers, All-Star Doctor Delphi’s status as the resident flying brick with heat vision, Elizabeth’s telepathy/telekinesis, Conrad’s telepathy/mental manipulation, Julian’s empathic abilities and emotional manipulation that can be a super-effective Jedi Mind Trick and then some when used effectively, Sylvia and Vince’s essentially omni-shapeshifting, the fact that Annie can turn her own tears, saliva, and blood into all kinds of fun chemicals (from toxins and acids, to myriad medicines), ET CETERA?

……Yeah, uh. In the end, the best explanation that anyone has for why any of that works, in-universe, is essentially, “Because it just does.”

So… essentially the same explanation as, “A wizard did it,” but it’s pretending to be scientific.

Lucy does not like being confronted with this hypocrisy, but she’s just gonna need to put on her big girl shoes and deal with it.

The AU where I don’t actually have most of the details about it worked out, but in the prime timeline’s December 2007, it abruptly became the new home of All-Stars member Penumbra (nee Victoria Brandt) and supervillains Dr. Neutron and Necrotara. They all got dumped in it when Penumbra stopped them from unleashing a super-plague on New York City… by opening up a rift in space-time, throwing them into it, and plunging after them because that was the only way she knew to seal it before it ate New York.

This AU will also get dragged into the prime timeline, though: 1. that’s more of an accident because Titus, Dezi, Eddie, and Tamsin have no goddamn idea what they’re doing and are meddling with forces they can’t control (especially not Dezi and Eddie, who have no powers to speak of and are miserably inept at pretty much everything);

and 2. It’s a bigger deal to the All-Stars than to the main cast, especially to Ruby Marvel (Penumbra’s on-off girlfriend), Zephyr Haze (who really looked up to Penumbra, and she was one of the few team members who believed that he was ready to be anything more than Doctor Delphi’s sidekick), and Slingshot (her on-off boyfriend, who has totally failed to move on from what happened, and if not for Captain Firebrand and Platinum Man revoking his ability to get into R&D without a babysitter, he likely would’ve broken space-time to get Penumbra back years ago)

Like, I’m not saying, “He has handled this like Silver Age Spiderman trying to kill the Green Goblin as vengeance for Norman Osborne murdering Gwen Stacy.”

I’m saying, “Slingshot has handled Penumbra’s effective death like that thing I just said magnified by a power of ten because, as far as he knows, getting her back into the prime timeline could potentially be cataclysmic, and he does not care. He has also spectacularly failed to listen to any and all attempts at getting him to respect her choice here, and the only reason he hasn’t gone full grimdark like a mid-90’s to mid-2000’s Dark Age drama-bomb of toxic masculinity and manpain? Is that he isn’t allowed into R&D at All-Stars Tower without a babysitter.”

However this AU works, Adelaide’s AU counterpart is going to be kind of a mess at getting dragged into the prime timeline, on one hand because her prime timeline self doesn’t have powers but decided to affiliate herself with a bunch of heroes anyway (while dumpster fire AU!Adelaide has superpowers and has been a hero and it’s gone Other Than Well for her), and on the other because her prime timeline brothers are alive and haven’t gotten killed by her supervillain nemeses

Dumpster fire AU!Adelaide is going to be more of a mess over a lot of things like, “On one hand, her little brother lived past 20 and swears he’s got a good life and his boyfriend is nice (yay!), but on the other, he’s a mentally ill recovering addict and also a superhero and for some reason, her prime timeline self is, as far as dumpster fire AU!Adelaide can tell, just okay with this”

And, “Her prime timeline self has a niece who actually knows what it’s like to have a father in her life, because dumpster fire AU!Adelaide’s Max got killed off while Linda was pregnant and Linda is probably a great single mom, but dumpster fire AU!Adelaide wouldn’t know because after Seb and Ambrose had both gotten killed (albeit by different villains), the common theme that emerged was the boys getting killed by supervillains and having a superhero sister, and okay, Linda did not explicitly blame Adelaide (Linda’s feelings about all of this are conflicted and messy)

“—but dumpster fire!Adelaide decided that the best thing to do was to basically cut herself off from friends, family, and loved ones, barring her AU’s Pete, who has become her co-hero, and a dog, because like her baby brother, Adelaide loves dogs and sometimes uses them as a substitute for interpersonal contact and connections”

Prime timeline Addie is seriously weirded out by her AU self’s complete lack of chill. Which says a lot, because Addie-prime actively repels anything that even vaguely resembles chill.

The AU where Margot and Seb didn’t get to be friends in undergrad, and her parents never disowned her, and she wound up filthy rich in her own right and having far fewer near brushes with death…… but also wound up: closeted and basically leading a double-life to keep from getting outed; very lonely; more miserable than she would like to think; and taking more than a few cues from Adrian “Ozymandias” Veidt of Watchmen

—Which is to say that, while she still doesn’t have any literal superpowers, she is deeply closeted and convinced that the only way to save humanity from itself might just need to involve doing something extreme that successfully makes humanity put aside their differences and unite against a perceived larger threat (and also distracts them so that Margot and her loosely affiliated AU associates can, “solve the underlying problems” unimpeded)

As prime timeline Margot will definitely point out: ideas like that literally only work on paper or in theory. In practice, humans are chaotic and messy and impossible to predict with any real accuracy, so there is no possible way to guarantee that killing a bunch of people and blaming it on aliens or whatever will make everyone decide to get along and sing songs underneath of a rainbow like some vintage Coca-Cola commercial.

Oh, and if Ozymandias AU!Margot actually thinks that nobody will notice if she and her cohorts, what, like…… use the world banks to redistribute the world’s wealth and make sure that the 1% can’t get it back (which would include AU!Margot herself and her cohorts, even though most of them don’t know she’s planning to do that), change a bunch of laws and policies they don’t agree with, and institute some kind of secret shadow government over the entire world?

Here’s a hint, Ozymandias AU!Margot: people will definitely notice that, and a lot of them won’t be too keen on letting you get away with it.

Furthermore, not only will people definitely notice that, but it won’t actually fix things as much as you want it to do. It would have some benefits, sure, and some of the ideas you’re trying to put into practice here are not inherently bad — like redistributing the wealth and putting hella restrictions on the same patterns of capitalist exploitation that made you rich in the first place — but one of the underlying flaws in AU!Margot’s approach is that, again, she’s ignoring the human element of everything

In other words: sure, redistributing the wealth is a nice idea and it would definitely have some positive benefits, but you cannot magic away the scars of aforementioned capitalist exploitation by throwing money at them, nor should you expect people who have been exploited, dehumanized, murdered, etc. under said patterns to not be upset about their suffering just because they now have money.

More generally, expecting people to always react in predictable ways is a bad idea. Expecting people to be okay with things that you erroneously think you would totally be okay with, if you were in their position is a bad idea. Behaving like a supervillain, even if you think you’re doing it for the right reasons and even if there might be some temporary short-term benefits? Is a BAD IDEA (especially when your plans have some major, egregious oversights).

Also, ew, Ozymandias AU!self, but out of all the ladies with whom you could be having a secret affair, why the fuck are you having it with your AU’s Melanie Drake (the firstborn daughter of the guy who the prime timeline Biggest Bad wants to put in power as his puppet, who is, herself, an active and enthusiastic participant in fascist supervillain hijinks).

In Ozymandias AU!Margot’s defense, her universe’s Melanie still has the conviction that everything she’s doing is for the Greater Good, but although she hasn’t gotten away from her nuclear reactor meltdown of an abusive shit-show family, she did come to believe in a different vision of, “the Greater Good.”

I mean. The nicest thing that can be said about it is that her vision of, “the Greater Good” isn’t a fascistic one and is, much like Ozymandias AU!Margot’s entire scheme, largely born out of good or at least okay-ish intentions, but really fucked up wrt the execution. But it’s not like Ozymandias AU!Margot is having a secret sexy affair with a neo-fascist supervillain.

She’s…… uh. Having a secret sexy affair with someone else who, in their AU, considers herself to be, “one of the heroes that this world needs but won’t accept,” and both of them are pretty fucked up, morally and ethically speaking, though not so much so that they wouldn’t be horrified by the Melanie of the prime timeline (who is, in fairness, pretty horrific. She’s also engaged to Titus, who is equally horrible but for some different reasons)

Anyway, the point is that Margot-prime super doesn’t expect any Melanie to be the secret girlfriend for any of her AU selves, and she’s really not happy about it, but also biased due to shit like, “Melanie-prime is an actual facts fascist supervillain”

And shit like, “Melanie-prime has hurt Margot-prime’s friends, and no, she doesn’t care that it was always in a superhero vs. supervillain fight, or that Seb has a healing factor, or that Pete accidentally made shit get violent on at least one occasion by running his mouth when he knew that he should have shut up, or that Lucy has run headlong into situations where a little bit of chill could’ve gone a long way and then people started throwing punches, la la la, go away context, Margot can’t hear you, Melanie has hurt her friends And That’s Terrible”

The mundane AU where, in addition to not being superheroes, Seb and Stephen met each other about ten years earlier and were a lot less gun-shy about being super into each other, not least because neither of them had been burned too badly in romance before (even given that they’d both had some negative experiences with it), and while both of them still had some big deal underlying issues with self-esteem, neither of them played any weird little head-games with himself to the tune of, “Oh, I shouldn’t voice my interest because he’s probably not interested in me because reasons, he’s probably just being nice”

On one hand, this AU wound up sparing both of them certain shitty experiences that their prime-timeline counterparts dealt with in their 20’s (not all of them, granted, and like — this AU’s Seb is still a recovering addict, and this AU’s Stephen has still dealt with a ton of bullshit about body image and fatphobia).

But on the other, they broke up and it’s…… amicable? Mostly? But still kind of emotionally tense for several reasons, not least of which is how instead of playing any, “he’s probably not really interested” head-games with themselves at the outset of their relationship and working through it, they were together for a long time, and danced around the idea of getting married…

…but neither of them told the other about wanting to get married because each of them thought that the other would never be into that idea because Reasons. Presumptions were made, miscommunication ensued, they eventually split up, each of them took it as a definite sign of, “I was right, he never would’ve been into getting married,” and they’ve mostly moved on and repaired the non-romantic friendship parts here.

Until they get dragged into the prime timeline and find that their counterparts are significantly more messed up as individuals but actually making a relationship work, but also at a point of, “They’ve been having some issues that have nothing to do with the superhero thing, and each of them is kind of seriously thinking about proposing but keeps getting cold feet about it”

Watching your alternate universe selves get engaged in the middle of a drag show on one of their birthdays is…… special.

Doing so after telling one or the other of them why you ever broke up is…… uh. Let’s just call it, “double special” and move on.

Also, powerless AU!Seb…… will be really conflicted about his prime timeline self being a superhero, partly out of concern (since this hero business seems to be working out okay, but it all sounds stressful and dangerous, and yes, Seb-prime literally can’t get intoxicated anymore — at least, not on any of the, “normal stuff,” i.e., “psychoactive substances that were not created by other mutants” — but…… how is being a superhero NOT a relapse trigger waiting to happen. To paraphrase Joan Watson, how is being a superhero NOT a giant gun filled with drugs and alcohol, pointed right at Seb-prime)

…partly out admiration (because the superhero stuff actually is working out decently, and powerless AU!Seb has to respect his prime timeline counterpart’s hijinks and dedication to helping people)

……and partly out of jealousy and getting kicked in the, “you’re kind of a worthless fuck-up, aren’t you?” feelings

because yes, powerless!Seb has found his own bliss in academia, and he is more or less at peace with it, most of the time……

but he’s torn because he wants to be helping people, and he largely went down the academic track to help himself

—which, in this case, means, “to something to work on and do with himself that wouldn’t feel like a complete waste of time, even if it didn’t exactly make him feel fulfilled, because he needed something to do other than, ‘try to find peace and sobriety by isolating himself from as much of life as possible,’” so it’s not like he is being selfish in a way that actively screws over anyone else; he is being selfish in a way that displays self-preservation—

—and okay, powerless!Seb has a list of things that he tries to tell himself about how this life-choice isn’t antithetical to the idea of helping people because he mentors students, and his research helps in X or Y or Z convoluted fashion, and he uses his access to academic databases to get around paywalls for other people who don’t have that access and to then hook them up with what they need……

But that’s still not the kind of helping people that he wanted to get into and it doesn’t really feel like he’s helping anyone, and it’s a pretty big kick in the stomach for him to get yanked into the prime timeline and see Seb-prime… actively helping other people as a superhero and ostensibly doing better at staying sober because of the superhero thing, rather than in spite of it, and what the fuck, how is this FAIR, how come he can do that and powerless!Seb CAN’T)

Even without the part where Seb-prime literally can’t get intoxicated on, “the normal stuff” anymore, the situation is a lot more complicated than powerless!Seb thinks it is, but in fairness to him, he’s probably only been stuck in this unfamiliar timeline for two weeks, max, when he has this little jealousy-induced meltdown

He probably ends up getting helped to chill out by Stephen-prime, which is its own messy and confusing kettle of monkeys for both parties because of intricate, complicated ontological questions like, “Is it cheating if I don’t actually do anything with my (ex-)boyfriend’s alternate universe counterpart, but feel attracted to him and definitely THINK about doing things with him?”

……The sad part is that all four of these losers WOULD actually make that complicated question, but it would be less because of the actual thorny issues about being and the nature of existence, and more because all of them would have a mental double-standard like, “Well, if I did it, then it would definitely be wrong, but it wouldn’t be wrong if my boyfriend did it because of reasons”

Seb and Stephen-prime may not need to deal with that specific question but the whole underlying, “Things that other people are allowed to do are wrong when I do them because of reasons” business is something they have to suck it up and work on, as individuals and in the context of their relationship

The AU where Josie actually got to go into fashion design, because they didn’t have their entire career ruined before it began by a mix of a douchebag ex-boyfriend whose parents were in good with Anna Wintour, and an abrupt, stress-triggered anorexic relapse that led to an even more stressful superpower awakening

Keeping with the, “mirror mirror on the wall, it’s fuck with my characters o’clock, let’s go…… all” theme among a lot of these AUs and the different respective versions of the characters, fashionista AU!Josie has a lot of things that Josie-prime wants and a lot of aspects of their life make Josie-prime jealous, but they are actually a huge mess in their own right

I’m still working out how, exactly, they are a huge mess, and so far, all I’ve really thought of is that it would amuse me if they were dating their AU’s Todd, but I’m not sure where I want to go with that and it’s also not actually going to be an issue for a while yet, so the idea has time to percolate

and the canonical coffee-shop AU.

The canonical coffee-shop AU is a horrifying dystopia where the bad guys won before most of the main cast were even ten years old — like, that AU’s Lucy and Sara Grace literally have no conscious memories of life ever being any different, they were that young when everything went to Hell — and that AU’s version of Senator Huntington (R-Virginia), the aforementioned Biggest Bad, took a lot of cues from Brave New World about how to run his dystopia

Like, there are several things that he would nix

e.g., the ostensible sex-positivity and alleged sexual equality of Aldous Huxley’s dystopia that is, in its own way, just another way of creating sex/gender-based INequality and blah blah blah

That would go right out the window because as far as dystopias go, wrt sex and the (im)morality thereof? Huntington thinks that Margaret Atwood’s Republic of Gideon from The Handmaid’s Tale had more or less the right idea, though he would also acquiesce that, if you want it to work, you’d need to build up to that, rather than dumping it on everyone all at once

He would also nix some of the more scientific aspects of the BNW dystopia, because he realizes that they’re not actually as likely to work out decently as Huxley seems to have thought in the novel

Like, Huntington would definitely still want there to be several strata of social inequalities that all serve to support a big pyramid that he can be on top of

……but he wouldn’t want to have those things artificially created in a lab because he thinks that sex is the best way to control a lot of the people under his power because even the ones who aren’t “perverts” — which, to him, means basically everyone who isn’t a heterosexual who only ever wants to have sex in the missionary position for the express purpose of procreation — are still “weakened” by their dependence on human connections (read: any desire to have meaningful human connections), and all of them inevitably want those connections to be expressed through sex because they’re all idiots in the end

For the record: Huntington’s attitude about sex is derived from the attitudes of real-world right-wing Christians in the States who love to play the game of shaming anyone who has any sexual desires, ever, because even though they also say that said desires come from God because they’re expressions of love and whatnot, they could just as easily come from Satan if the preacher in question doesn’t approve of them, personally.

The religious aspect only seems pasted-on whenever Huntington talks about any of this because…… Well, for him? It is. He doesn’t actually believe in God, or Jesus, or much of anything beyond his own power and his own right to have whatever he wants because he showed up and decided he deserves it.

Any time he talks about God or religion, he’s merely catering to his constituents by playing a version of himself who DOES believe in God because he’s reasonably certain he would never hold any elected office if he didn’t project the image of being a righteous, God-fearing man who is filled with the love of Jesus. But I digress.

So, yeah. Brave New!Huntington wouldn’t want to have all of his social inequalities baked into the population due to how people are grown in laboratories, but the general idea of, “keep the populace medicated into submission, throw them some bread and circuses and maybe a bit of pasted-on happiness, don’t let them think for themselves but give them the illusion of thinking for themselves, etc.”? Huntington is all about that.

Another reason why he vetoes the, “let’s grow all humans in laboratory test tubes lmao” idea is that he figures he can better play into the idea of all people being essentially equal, which helps keep the populace docile as long as they believe in it, if he lets them handle their own relationships and procreation. Like, regulate it in certain ways, and only give The Gay Agenda (i.e., everyone who isn’t straight) as much wiggle room as will keep them from noticing that equality is a lie, but don’t interfere too much because getting hung up on all that interpersonal drama keeps them from noticing the actual problems

Either way, the canonical coffee-shop AU is a horrid, dystopian hellscape and the main cast’s counterparts in that AU are okay with their lots in life — where, for example, Conrad actually is just a wacky eccentric uncle and not using that façade to try and teach Marie a kiddie version of Why Fascism Is Totally Cool, just in case she ends up being a mutant too, and Julian is a provocateur in that he argues with anyone who tries to sit in His Spot at the coffee-shop, rather than because he uses his platform and charisma to pick at prejudices and stir the pot in ways that incite violence — because they’re all drugged, they’re all being lied to, some of them don’t remember life ever being anything else, and when some of them get yanked into the prime timeline, uh.

Well.

That will be interesting to me, personally, because there’s going to be a lot of disagreement among all involved parties about all of this and what it all means

But ngl, this canonical AU literally started because I was reading coffee-shop AU superhero fics, looking at my own ragtag bunch of superheroic misfits, and going, “God, what WOULD it take for them to actually exist in a coffee-shop AU? Because the conventional coffee-shop AU set-up wouldn’t even allow for any of them to be recovering addicts or abuse survivors, much less actively upset about any injustices in the world (beyond maybe being a Soapbox Sadie type for a scene or two before getting swept up in the inevitable romance that will dominate literally everything about the fic) or affected by shit like homophobia, racism, ableism, sexism, etc. (because if we dealt with those issues, it might not be sexy or romantic, or at the very least, it would seriously distract from the OTP and their amazing love story). The most anyone is ever allowed to be in a coffee-shop AU is pleasantly eccentric or Troubled But Cute With The Emphasis On Cute”

Which is all a long-form way of saying that I came up with an entire canonical dystopian coffee-shop AU in a thought exercise that came out of being tolerant of coffee-shop AUs but also really bored with them and low-key frustrated about their dominance of fanfiction things for the past few years because while I understand the appeal of the escapism that’s inherent in most of them (and there are some that I even enjoy), I find it kind of depressing that so many of them end up being such that you could probably find and replace the names of one fandom’s characters with another fandom’s characters and it would essentially be the same story, and all of the things that drew people to the original stories will be gone while almost none of the problems of the original stories will actually be fixed (—and at that, the most likely, “fixing” is probably going to be, “a white cis M/M otp is injected into things where, in their respective canon, they are Just Dudes Bein’ Bros”)

……Which is a long-form way of saying that I did the thing out of frustration with coffee-shop AUs (and probably a bit because rereading all the classic dystopian lit pieces at once isn’t really the best idea ever, whoops)

21: Describe each of your OCs as shittily as possible.

okay, I did these all out of order, and after going in so hard on the AUs and polyships questions, it’s 3:15 in the morning and I’m just going to phone this in

Sebastian: yes, he’s a human disaster and a serious mess, but at least he’s trying, okay

Pete: local man delivers scathing verbal smackdown and makes you say, “thanks” for the honor

Margot: the mean chain-smoking lesbian with a heart of gold that your parents didn’t warn you about but should have, probably

Josie: local goth makes everyone else look under-dressed, feels bad about things

Todd: hipster garbage who isn’t nearly as underground as he thinks

Lucy: okay but have you guys considered how superpowers could be used to address public health crises

Stephen: the human embodiment of that moment when you get so excited about the punchline of the joke you’re telling that you laugh at it preemptively and can’t finish the joke but hey, at least everyone is smiling now, right

Sara Grace: local ballerina princess will probably never get over her physical inability to cuddle every cat on the planet

Conrad: “hey why are you getting upset i’m just trying to deny your right to be considered fully human unless you fit my specific ideas about what that is lmao”

Julian: sinnamon roll that you bought at a backwoods gas station at three in the morning, then lost on the floor of your car for two years, and now it’s all grody and probably a biohazard

Annie: perpetually screaming, just at life in general

Adelaide: she’s not telling you what to do, she’s just saying that her way is probably better even when it likely isn’t

Yael: is probably your favorite Jewish lesbian grandma, unless you think that she should chill, in which case not so much

Max: had his younger sister be his best man when he got married, out of his depth with most things, *glinting glasses of intimidation*

25: What sorts of symbols/items/~aesthetics~/colours represent each OC?

and it is now 3:30 and I’ve got absolutely nothing for this one beyond the fact that Margot, Josie, and Pete all wear a lot of black

Josie because they’re still something of a teenage goth queen at heart despite being a responsible adult

Margot because it’s both professional and somewhat intimidating, which she likes because she’s compensating for only being 4’11”

and Pete says it’s because he works in the theatre, which isn’t wrong, but even if he didn’t, he’d still wear a lot of black because he thinks it looks good on him (which is fair enough because it does)

Conrad and Max are associated with gray (though Conrad is also associated with white and “that annoying shade of blonde that is very nearly white but not exactly; the Draco Malfoy or Any Given Member Of House Targaryen shade of blonde”)

Sebastian gets a lot of dog associations (partly because he has six of them and partly because he is, as mentioned, essentially a werewolf though that does slightly depend on your definition of, “werewolf”)

and Stephen loves hot pink and eye-searing acid green, sometimes simultaneously

32: Do you have any polyam ships with your OCs?

Well, I already sort of went there in the AUs question, but personally, I would love Seb-prime/powerless!Seb/powerless!Stephen/Stephen-prime — but in general, I always love any and all ships that involve selfcest, whether they’re polyships or not, so I don’t really think this one counts

The polyship that I’ve probably given the most thought to so far is Seb/Stephen/Todd, and ngl, I’ve given it said thought largely due to the fact that……… well.

I wouldn’t call them a love triangle, exactly, but let’s be real: SMeyer and SCollins didn’t want to call Bella/Edward/Jacob and Gale/Katniss/Peeta, “love triangles” either, and while I’d agree that the latter case is a bit more complicated due to how Katniss spends the majority of the series having no interest in either one of the boys involved, the Twilight example is definitely a love triangle, and anyway, my point is that I’m no better than SMeyer and SCollins about going, “Oh, it’s not a love triangle!” because I fear the messy associations that come with accusations of writing love triangles even when I am blatantly doing so

And in general, I do believe in the sentiment of, “Less love triangles, more functional polyamory” — but the, “functional” part of that is a big reason why Seb/Stephen/Todd is not going to canonically go in the polyamory direction. It could, and given the canonical multiverse, there are definitely a few universes where it does

But in the prime timeline, a polyamorous relationship with those three would probably be a disaster — and frankly, a lot of it would be on Todd because Seb and Stephen both also have issues with communicating, self-esteem, honesty (with Stephen’s issue being more that he encourages everyone else to be honest while also trying to at least partially censor his own feelings in the interests of keeping the peace, while Seb’s issue is that he constantly lies to himself to try and convince himself that everything is fine because he feels like he’d just muck up everything for everyone by ever being Not Fine), and a laundry list of other things

But they’re also trying to work on those things.

Stephen is at a better place, wrt self-awareness and working on things, than Seb is, but he’s also been working on it longer and, for all the missteps he’s admittedly had in it because that’s just a part of this process for everyone, he didn’t have to deal with things like, “the aftermath of being kidnapped and shot by ecoterrorist ex-boyfriend who was not happy about getting dumped by a junky”

Or things like, “help, my brother’s unctuous brother-in-law keeps trying to befriend me after I drunkenly sucked his dick at my brother’s wedding reception and unwittingly broke up the marriage that I didn’t know the brother-in-law had, he keeps trying to befriend me despite my vocal lack of interest in being friends with him, also he’s been telepathically fucking with me for about eleven years”

Todd, on the other hand, has the self-awareness of a toothbrush, and that is a massive insult to toothbrushes.

He has worked on SOME things about himself, but usually only to the extent that he needs to work on them in order to feel like he’s doing an okay job on his own sobriety (which, in fairness, he is, but acting like sobriety is his only problem ever is disingenuous as Hell), and he isn’t working on most of his non-sobriety-related problems because, bless his heart, he doesn’t realize that they are problems.

I mean, this is a guy who is going to crash Seb and Stephen’s first morning after by showing up on Seb’s doorstep on a Sunday morning with a bunch of junk from his apartment, going, “Hey, so, I don’t mean to be a buzzkill when you look weirdly happy for once because it’s good that you look happy, I support you being happy, but also I might be getting kicked out of my place tomorrow and may also have been lying to you for several months about whether or not I needed money because I was totally sure that I could get everything figured out and then I didn’t but I didn’t want you to worry or try to pay for everything like a sugar daddy just because you CAN pay for it, and anyway, is one of your spare rooms open and…… oh. Hi, Stephen. ……He’s pretty shirtless for coming over for breakfast, isn’t he. Why are you wearing a shirt and he’s not.”

“Because he wasn’t cooking bacon and I was?”

“…………*slowly puts two and two together and realizes what he’s crashing* Ohhhh. Um. ……I can go bug Pete or Margot—”

“They don’t have room for you at their places—”

“So, can I stay?”

“Yes, obviously, but can we also talk about this? Like, maybe not right now, but in general, there are a lot of things that I’d like to talk about here???”

“………Why? Do you want to, like, charge rent or something?”

“No, god, why would I want to do that to you, but????”

So, yeah.

In fairness, Todd has a lot of good points. But he is also really bad at a lot of the things that you NEED if you don’t want a polyamorous relationship to completely implode — like communication, honesty, self-awareness, etc. — and he’s only going to start working on any of this when he finally realizes that…… oh. He’s jealous of Stephen and has been jealous of all of Seb’s previous boyfriends too, but in most of those cases, he also had some other reason to dislike them

For example: Harry was cheating on Seb with a Julliard violinist (who knew that Harry was also sleeping with Seb, but Seb had no idea that Harry’s violinist friend was his “real boyfriend”);

Francis was an ecoterrorist and admitted as much on their first date (though, as Seb has pointed out to several people, what kind of ecoterrorist actually admits to being one on a first date, so he feels he was justified in not believing Francis here), then shot Seb in the back, after kidnapping him and holding him for ransom in a basement in Ossining, all because Francis didn’t appreciate being dumped, especially not by a junky;

Josh didn’t really see the difference between rough sex and domestic violence, and was inadvertently responsible for Seb being the first family member to show up for the birth of his niece…… because he took Seb to the ER after giving him a concussion that made him seem to lose consciousness during sex (not that Josh stopped fucking him during), and then left him there “because he had something big to handle for work” (i.e., because he didn’t want to be there in case anyone called the cops), and while Seb was going to leave, he happened to see Max and Linda checking in and decided to just stay;

Rémy liked erotic asphyxiation but did not like asking for consent, and also had a thing for giving his partners rohypnol (again, without their consent), and he got away with it with Seb because, by the time they dated, Seb was no stranger to having intoxication-induced blackouts, and it was easy to tell him that he must’ve had too much to drink (and because of the way his half-latent healing factor and toxin filtering handled rohypnol, it was basically impossible for him to tell the difference between that and any of his more usual mixes of intoxicants);

Byron was a supervillain henchman-for-hire and also had a stunning lack of boundaries;

and Julian was mostly just annoying when he and Seb dated, and the worst part, at the time, was that they both tried to be helpful and supportive for each other but actually wound up exacerbating a lot of their respective issues, and now, he’s one of the less-bad exes but only because, “sends drunk texts to a recovering addict and unsolicited dick pics” is clearly on a very different level from, “gave Seb a concussion and ditched him at the ER” and, “literally shot him in the back”

(and then, when his involvement with the baddies comes out, he sort of skyrockets up the list of bad idea exes, but in fairness to Seb here, Julian didn’t get recruited by said baddies until after the second time that they broke up).

So, yeah, Todd has not been short on legitimate reasons to hate a lot of Seb’s boyfriends, and said legitimate reasons have allowed him to avoid dealing with his own jealousy for a while.

The fact that he and Seb have full-on dated before also helped for a while, as did the standing friends with benefits/“it’s complicated” that they’re in at the start of the story…… but see, Todd has always kind of been hoping that this would turn back into romance at some point

See, for all he isn’t self-aware about most things, he’s done enough work on himself to know that he is still in love with Seb (who does reciprocate but has an easier time reading Latin, or Proust in the original French, than he does of knowing what his feelings are doing and being able to verbalize it effectively)

So, Todd’s been leaving their relationship open-ended so he won’t have to feel like he’s tying Seb down to something Seb might not want. The idea that Seb might actually want it does occur to Todd, but he also dismisses the idea as completely ridiculous and silly, all out of some ridiculous idea that of course Seb wouldn’t want to be with him again for real, not until he perfectly self-actualizes in some completely unattainable way (which he doesn’t realize is completely unattainable because, bless his heart, Todd doesn’t get that he will never be satisfied with his ridiculous and ill-defined goalposts on the path to becoming his idea of what Seb’s perfect version of him is)

This is made all the worse by the fact that all Seb wants Todd to be, and all that he has ever wanted Todd to be, is himself.

He has said so practically since their first ever conversation, and the romantic subtext was there for him from the start of it all because when he went up to the cute bespectacled chubby guy in the Pink Flamingos t-shirt after the freshman orientation week meeting of the campus LGBTQ student union, Seb totally meant to ask Todd out.

Unfortunately, he got nervous, excited, an odd and potent mix of tongue-tied and rambling, and overwhelmed by how starved he was to make more friends (seeing as his only friend, at that time, was Pete, who was about an hour or so north, once you factor in getting to Grand Central, taking the Metro North to the right stop, and then either meeting him at the station or getting to his campus)

So, the romantic intentions got rather garbled and turned into a platonic-sounding coffee invitation, and as much as Seb had wanted to ask Todd out, he was okay with this at the time because he was en eighteen-year-old extrovert who’d spent his last two years of high school with only one real friend, who wasn’t even at his school because Pete was already in college, and in a school environment that was so emotionally shitty that his parents saw facilitating his trips down to see Pete and all their weird misadventures in the City not as a special treat but as what they needed to do for the sake of their son’s wellbeing

Either way, Todd misses the, “be yourself, that’s it, that’s all he has ever wanted, you colossal tool” point by a long-shot

So, by the time the story starts, Todd is working (he thinks) on his amazing and totally foolproof plan to become exactly what Seb deserves even if (he maintains) Seb doesn’t realize that he deserves it, Seb feels like there’s no way that Todd is still into him and feels like Todd is probably only hooking up with him until someone better comes along and is a hopeless romantic who’s pessimistic about love but also about most things in general, and their lack of talking about things is a Problem

It’s a Problem that Pete calls Seb out on, though in fairness, he brings that up less as a dig at the relationship and more because it’s part of Seb’s larger problems

But then, as part of his, “I am totally going to get my shit together, yeah!” “““plan””” (read: half-baked notion that he is at least really committed to), Seb decides to ask Stephen out (because Pete was just going down a list of things Seb could work on and one of them was, “Figure out your shit with Todd and either work things out with him or move the fuck on instead of mooning over him like you’re fucking twelve,” and Seb did the impulsive thing to go, “Oooh, look, not mooning over Todd now, am I”)

Seb doesn’t expect it to go anywhere because he doesn’t think Stephen could actually be interested in him literally ever, so he’s trying not to get his hopes up or end up feeling anything — except he does both of those things AND, due to how the events play out leading up to things, Seb’s just realized that he does still have feelings for Todd, and now, he’s not sure what to do and has to figure out his shit

The final nail in the coffin is that Todd, after several weeks of blowing off Seb’s attempts to talk about things (because you don’t need to talk about things if you just pretend they’re fine and stay the course, right?), gives him what is essentially an, “It’s not you, it’s me” line, and because, “It’s not you, it’s me” is so often used to break up with someone gently (including by Seb in different previous relationships), Seb takes it as them being done romantically and decides that they should stop having sex, too, so he can get serious with Stephen.

So, Todd has to live with the fact that he’s the one who opened the door to let Seb get serious with Stephen, and deal with his jealousy, which he can’t get out of at least recognizing because he can’t find a single thing about Stephen that indicates that he isn’t as kind and good as he seems. It’ll be good for him. He gets to grow as a person thanks to fucking this up for himself and unwittingly getting one of his best friends to commit to an actual decent relationship.

Then there’s the issue of Todd and Stephen’s leg of the relationship, but once Todd sorts his shit out about being a jealous little turd, they will actually get along just fine

They will probably end up having a bonding moment where they get laughing about weird or mildly irksome but not troublesome things that Sebastian does, because I love scenes like that

But, still. As a poly ship, I don’t actually see them working out in the prime timeline.

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penny-anna · 7 years

Note

either In That Case or your prompt fill for 'your hair keeps getting in my face' (the one in chapter 64 of your prompts on ao3) for the fic dvd commentary thing, please? :3

hmm im not sure I’d have much to say about either of those... so I’ll do both, I guess? and hopefully it will even out!

In that case

“Now, will you stop fussing?” said the Doctor. “Victoria will be just fine.”“I don’t like to leave her alone,” said Jamie.“She’s not alone,” the Doctor said. “She’s got the Sisters to look after her.”“Aye, be that as it may —”“They’re excellent nurses, you know.”“— I dinnae think we should be leaving her alone when she’s hurt.” True, Victoria had assured him over and over that she’d be alright, and true, the Sisters were a bit funny about men lingering in their hospital, if they weren’t patients — but if it’d been up to him, he would have stayed.

Okay so, here we have the reason why I don’t write much Two/Jamie fic set during s5 (and I suspect the reason why there isn’t much s5 two/jamie fic fullstop) - I feel like I always have to account for like, where Victoria is? Just ‘she’s off doing something else’ doesn’t feel right for some reason. Unless I specify that she’s definitely somewhere 100% safe, my feeling is that Jamie’s always gonna be thinking about her.

“She turned her ankle, Jamie. She’ll live. Chin up, now! This is a beautiful place, and it’s a beautiful day — look at that sky!”

Had an even worse problem than usual here, having decided that she’s receiving medical care somewhere. Now i need to do even more work, to make sure Jamie’s mind is at rest? Idk, I guess I felt like I needed Jamie to need calming down. So the Doctor could instigate the hand-holding.

It was a glorious day, Jamie had to admit. The sky was bright blue, with clouds of gold; the sun just warm enough, drenching the worn stone street beneath them in yellow light. The sea hushed against the harbour wall, calm and clear. In the distance he could see brightly coloured boats. People milled about, talking and laughing and darting in and out of the tiny shops, all of them happy and relaxed.

I like a) describing alien planets and b) putting Team Two in nice places for a change. :3

“Come on.” The Doctor patted his shoulder. “Let’s find some lunch, eh?” He took Jamie’s hand and gave it a fond squeeze.Starting, Jamie tugged his hand away. “Hey, now! What’re you playin’ at?”The Doctor’s face fell. “I was, ah, holding your hand.”“But there’s people.” Jamie cast an anxious glance over his shoulder, lest any passer-by might have noticed.“So?” The Doctor shot him an exasperated look. “Oh, Jamie, really — it’s the forty-first century, you know. No-one will bat an eye if we hold hands.”

I usually shy away from the internalised homophobia problem (tm) bcos frankly seeing it brought up in fluffy/smutty fics bugs me. But it seemed to fit here.

“Really?” Jamie looked doubtfully about himself. No-one was looking. “They willnae mind?”“Not a bit.” The Doctor stuck out his hand, and waggled it invitingly. “Hmm?”“Oh, well,” said Jamie, “In that case.” So saying, he took the Doctor’s face in his hands and kissed him, tenderly, relishing the feel of the warm sun on his skin, the Doctor’s lips on his. “Mmm.”

There’s the line the title came from! Im so bad at titles, this was so lazy. I always want to come up with something nice and poetic, I almost always fail.

Drawing back, he took the Doctor’s hand in his and gave it a squeeze. They walked on around the harbour, hand in hand. “We should go check on Victoria once we’ve eaten, anyway,” said Jamie. “And — hey, why’re you laughin’?”The Doctor was chuckling away to himself. At Jamie’s scowl he sobered up slightly. “I’m sorry, Jamie,” he said, contrite. “It’s just — oh, I’m ever so happy.”“Aye.” Jamie nudged him. “Me too.” The Doctor beamed at him and Jamie smiled back as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “Anyway — what was that you were sayin’ about lunch? I’m fair famished.”

If in doubt, end a fic with Jamie wanting lunch. Is Jamie always hungry. Yeah probably. :P

Your hair keeps getting in my face

“Plft,” said the Doctor.“Mmm?” Jamie murmured into the pillow.“Plffffft,” said the Doctor. “Peh. Shoo.”

This is probaby a weird thing to be proud of but what can i say im proud of these noises.

“What’s that?”“Your hair keeps getting in my face.”Jamie chuckled.“It’s not funny!”“How’d you know it’s not your face that’s getting in my hair?” Jamie stroked the back of the Doctor’s hand with his thumb.“Because that would be silly,” said the Doctor, indignant. “Can we roll over?”“No,” said Jamie. “Ye just want to be the wee spoon.”“So what if I do?”“It’s my turn to be the wee spoon.” Jamie nuzzled the pillow. “You’re always the wee spoon.”

Idk if I mentioned this at the time but this fic was inspried in part by this post from aaages ago. this is technically jetpacking fic i guess :D

“I am not!”“You are so. I’m no’ letting you take my turn again, ye hear?”

The Doctor is very needy about cuddles but in a kind of catlike, no no im not after cuddles, you just happened to be where i wanted to lie down kind of way. stop making up excuses to have jamie cuddle you doctor.

“Well, ah, fine. I’ll just — plfft.”“That tickles.”“It’s getting up me nose!”“Move your nose.”“Hmm. Alright,” said the Doctor, and rolled over.“Hey — Doctor?” said Jamie as the Doctor’s hand slipped from his. “Och, come back.”“No.”“I’m no’ cuddling you. It’s no’ your turn to be the wee spoon.”“You told me to move my nose.” The Doctor sniffed.“I didnae mean it like that,” said Jamie. “Move your nose back.”

This. This is even sillier than I remembered.

“Shan’t.”“Big baby.” Jamie aimed a half-hearted kick at him. “Get over here and be the big spoon, before I get cold.”“Only if you keep your hair out of my nose,” the Doctor giggled.

silly bickery otp

“I’ll do me best.”“Alright, then.” The bed creaked. The Doctor flopped an arm around his waist. Jamie took his hand, and squeezed.“Mm. That’s more like it.” He sighed, feeling the Doctor’s breath on his neck, the Doctor’s toes brushing his calves. “Your feet are cold.”

I feel like we also had a thread about the doctor putting his cold feet on jamie so i guess i’ve now done that one too. whoops.

“Then you’d best, ah, warm them up, hadn’t you?”

anyway,

this was fun! thank you!!

#uighean

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

Text

Survey #66

“letterman’s got no dirt on me.”

you ever played "call of duty"? did you like it? are you into those types of video games at all? never played it, not into it. do you like to cook for people, or do you order to be cooked for? has anyone ever told you that you were a good cook? i don't "order" to be cooked for, mom just cooks anyway as the mother of this household. i don't really cook for people because i don't know how to make almost anything. people like my scrambled eggs, though. do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? do those types of clocks annoy you? we do not. i LOVE those clocks, though. what is your usual hair style? do you tend to wear the same style every day, or do you switch it up a lot? i have my hair parted far to the left to where it swoops over the right side of my face. it's always the same. i'd like to be able to achieve the emo/scene/indie/whatthefuckever swoop on a daily basis, but i can't do it, i think because my hair's too thick or we just have bad hairspray. have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? i've had two "main" doctors, i think: lynn and now emanuel. they're both great. and nah, i've never thought something was THAT wrong. are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into hot topic)? are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? eh, not really. the "worst" i can think of is victoria's secret, where i merely feel out of place, because i'm both not girly and fat, and don't even deny it, the majority of their merchandise is aimed at small people. so. i feel at least mildly weird in there. do you look in mirrors a lot, or do you try to avoid them? how many mirrors are in your house? i have no major opinion on mirrors. i usually don't look in them though, no, because i don't like seeing all the weight i've gained. idk how many mirrors we have total. what do you think is the greatest invention of all time? why? are there any inventions you wish had never been made? uhhh... i'm not entirely sure. i mean, i guess anesthesia is definitely one, so we can do major surgeries. music. medicine. as for inventions that shouldn't have been made, i'mma just say though this would totally not stop people from "doing things," can we just... get rid of dildos and self-pleasure things? can we not teach lust, please? are you proud of yourself? do you feel that you've accomplished (or will accomplish) the things you want in your life? what other person are you the most proud of and why? i'm... i don't know. i honestly think i have good morals and such, yeah, but some parts about me i just have no control over and hate. ex., my hatred for ashley. ffs i know the girl doesn't deserve it, yet i'd... alsdkjfoawieurwe. i don't think i'm going to accomplish my goals, no. the person i'm most proud of... i actually think that would be ashley, my older sister. her ex-boyfriend abused her and drove her mad practically, and she was even self-mutilating, but via hospitalization, she came back from that and is now a fucking warrior mother. did you ever have a terrible roommate? what did they do that bothered you so much? i'd consider jacob and amanda to be jason's and my former roommates, and as roommates, we had bad chemistry. they're great people, absolutely, we just didn't mix in taking care of a house. if someone has a problem with something you’ve done, do you prefer they confront you directly? why or why not? when you're the one who needs to tell someone about a problem, what's your method of doing so? i'd far rather prefer you confront me via writing, so i can write back. therefore i can actually think clearly about what i'm saying, not stutter my ass off, and not feel cornered. i am HORRIFIED on confrontation, so i would be a mess. do you like the color gray? no, i do not. is it possible to love someone if you don't love yourself? THIS QUESTION MAKES ME SO FUCKING MAD. OBVIOUSLY. OH BOOHOO, I FUCKING HATE MYSELF, I CAN STILL LOVE THE FUCK OUT OF SOMEONE ELSE JESUS CHRIST. do you believe happiness can exist without sadness? eventually? no. what hospital in your area would you most recommend for good treatment? hahahahaha oh darling, none of them. just don't go to nash general. who is the best person you've ever "met" online? mini. who is the most versatile actor ever? obviously johnny depp. do you ever nap and wake up and forget what day it is? i barely ever know what day it is to begin with. my days just kinda... happen. what was your maternal grandmother's first name? cecelia. what was the last video message you received on your phone? ... jason was the only person who ever did that. so. well over a year ago. would you kiss someone you didn't have feelings for? nope. kisses are far more special than that. what would your dream engagement ring look like? okay first my husband can get whatever damn ring he wants to propose to me with, but either a dragon's breath opal or rose gold ring are my fantasies. is someone hurting you mentally at the moment? jason constantly is without knowing it. colleen is always pretty heavily beating me in the mental sense. do you feel like no one understands you? i used to think jason did, but i guess he doesn't. or maybe he really does understand me, more than i do myself, and his full understanding is why he left, because he hates me as much as i hate myself. have you ever attempted to drown yourself? uh, no, and even if i wanted to die, i wouldn't choose that way, holy shit. would you rather deal with all your emotions at once, or none at all? who says i haven't felt one already, maybe even both? what’s the best sex scene in a movie you’ve ever seen? errr. it's really indirect and you don't actually "see" them doing much, but i guess in "the notebook" where they're in that old house and the poor girl is so nervous and emotional? i could imagine that being me my first time lol. it's just... really passionate to me and it feels like that scene is far more about love than just sex. is pornography evil or are you neutral about it? it's fucking disgusting. do you prefer to be monogamous, or are you more a casual dater or swinger? honestly, just because i'm feeling a bit brutal today? i don't even respect anything but monogamy. i'm fucking sorry, but going around saying you "love" more than one person, fucking more than one person, it's just... fucking hell it's sick. does your pet wear a collar? they all do, yes. what is your favorite song in "the sound of music"? "doe, a deer, a feeeemale deer!" what would you do if your mom/dad saw a hickey on you? if i was with jason, probably nothing. they both know i love him dearly and i know mom at least knows we do sexual things. i mean did. you’ve just had an argument with the guy you like, and you walk away. do you want them to leave you alone? no. do not lave me alone. please. have you ever read any self-help books? i have. do you thank the bus driver? i always did when i rode the bus with j, yes. have you ever had your heart broken? worst thing in the whole fucking world. i REALLY woulda rather been shot. when was the last time you flirted? do you consider commenting on your ex-boyfriend's photograph on facebook calling him handsome flirting? if yeah, well over a year ago. if that doesn't count, who the fuck knows. are good-byes easy or hard for you? why don't you fucking kill me instead. whatcha listening to? "bad girlfriend" by theory of a deadman. sexy fucking song. what do you feel about our president? i fucking despise him. sure, some of his policies i agree with, but holy shit... he is an ass. do you remember the song, blue (da ba dee) by eiffel 65? omfg i love that song :'D if you told someone how far have you have gone with the opposite sex, how would others view you? i know of a few possibilities. "a christian fishing for loopholes" is one. others would certainly call me uptight or cheap for not going all the way. do you have a secret that you’ve never told ANYONE? no, actually... i told my only secret to my best friend and indirectly my mom just last night, so. would you care if your last ex fell in love with someone else? yes, i fucking care. what’s something you really want right now, be honest? be honest? sex with j. were your parents married when they had you? they were. are they married now? no, they're divorced. would you marry someone 30 years older than you if they had millions? nope. how long were employed at your last job? lmao four days fam. quit that quickly. if you found out you were pregnant who would you tell first? depends on how it happened, honestly. i'd tell the dad before anyone else, probably, and right now, i'm not with a man. what did you do when you hung out with the last person you kissed? i couldn't tell you. just like our last kiss, i didn't know it'd be our last, so it was just another day. fuck. do you prefer online classes or real classes? they both have their benefits, idk. part of the blame for me quitting college though was due to it being online. do you like documentaries? have you ever watched one and find it boring? i looove animal documentaries. don't think i've ever seen one that bored me. if you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or pothead? honestly? pothead. and i'm against marijuana, but i find alcoholism way more dangerous. do you hate your ex? no, i fucking worship him. do you like kids? yes and no. i am VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY awkward with children. like, i just don't know what to do with them, so i get very uncomfortable. yet i still want kids, which makes me worry sometimes... but i honestly believe if i had my own flesh-and-blood child, i'd be the most protective and loving mother ever. are your eyes the same color as your mom’s or dad’s? neither. do you think too much or too little? TOO MUCH!!! does anyone know your facebook password? my mom, and jason might. have you ever seen the last person you kissed without their shirt on? juicy shit for a skinny boi mmmmmhm ...what about their pants? ye boi did you ever rip off a barbie doll head? hahaha wtf idk how many people have you slept with (sexually not actually sleeping)? i need to know if doing sexual things, but not actual sex, counts to answer this question. if not, zero. if sexual things count, one. do you have any sort of ongoing health problem? oh hunny, you really wanna know? are you a teenager and yet want a baby? i am not a teenager, but there were a few times when j and i were together the thought would cross my mind, but only very rapidly. would you date a guy with a prince albert? i mean, sure. i'd be a bit suspicious honestly, seeing as he'd have to be pretty comfortable whipping out his penis to get it pierced and all, but i wouldn't really judge him much. if he likes it, good for him. do you think you are a hick? not in the slightest, no. have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? what the fuck, no!! i even knew better as a child!! have you ever swallowed a watermelon seed? i'm sure i have accidentally before. ha ha speaking of which, i totally want that "don't eat watermelon seeds" shirt when i'm expecting. it's so cute. what would be worse - going out in public with no bra or no panties? i already don't wear underwear, soooo...? would you ever let your child drop out of high school? in most situations, absolutely not. now if they were ill, physically or mentally, and were having severe trouble in school related to their issues, yes, i would. honestly, do you think that inner beauty is as important as outer beauty? to society? no. in regards to simple morality? inner beauty is substantially more important. do you pronounce “aunt” like “awnt” or “ant”? "ant" have you ever seen wayne’s world? i have and it's funny, but i can't watch it anymore as jason LOVED that movie. what was your favorite video game as a child? the original "spyro the dragon" trilogy list five things you’re currently thinking about: 1.) sex w/ ex don't judge i'm having a night ;- ; 2.) colleen and our fight earlier 3.) wondering if jax has messaged me back yet 4.) what i'd like to have for dinner that's pretty healthy 5.) how much i love the song i'm listening to is the last person you kissed a virgin? he is not. have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? no, but a guy with a lip ring kissed me. what was the last video you added to your favorites on youtube? ... how can i check without leaving the song i'm listening to? lol do you have any morbid interests? oh boy do i. eat breakfast or skip it? eat breakfast. i'm always v hungry when i wake up. favorite disney channel show? of all time? probs "that's so raven" or "the suite life of zack and cody" do you believe in jesus? i believe he was a real person, yes. i also believe in the miracles he spoke of, yes. would you ever get a tattoo in a “naughty” place? where do you consider "naughty"? if i lose weight, i do have intentions of getting a hydra tattooed VERY low on my stomach so it starts in a certain area and rises up onto my stomach; i want the lyrics "from slave to master, i've become the hydra" written above it in a semi-circle. it's from an otep song, and i find her lyrics SO empowering. i may get this tattoo elsewhere though. ... i'm also like 99$ positive i'm getting a harley quinn-oriented tat on my right asscheek that says "rotten" so if you consider that dirty, lmao. personally i don't believe it to be in a "naughty" place but, w/e. are your ears gauged? no ewww is there a band you like that many others dislike? which? hmmmm... i don't think so for any that are notoriously hated. i mean i admit to liking a couple blood on the dance floor songs, but i don't like enough to be considered a fan of the band. do you play pokemon go? i did until this month, actually. not like it was much fun for someone as rural as me, anyway. no pokestops for pokeballs. i officially quit because it needed to update and i didn't have room for it unless i deleted a couple apps i refuse to drop. are you a bad influence? in general, i don't think so, but sometimes, sure. be honest. have you had any dirty thoughts today? i'm honestly having one of those rare nights where it's p bad. honestly, have you ever danced naked? AW HELL NO. i wouldn't have even done that when i was much much much smaller! too shy!! is smoking pot a turn off? i wouldn't date someone who smoked in the first place. have you ever scared yourself? i always scare myself when i'm suicidal. on facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? hahaha yeah... is it ever okay for a woman to ask out a man? ... yes??? we're in 2017??? how important is it for a significant other to be good with kids? i wanna evaluate this question a bit. "good" with kids, not necessarily. i'm not good with kids, yet i love them and would do so much for a child. i'd be okay having someone inexperienced with kids, but not bad with kids, you get me? when did your last relationship end? august or september of 2015. i can't remember which. did your father go to college? nope. do you plan on going to college? i did go for a couple years, but i just dropped out this week, because it's not for me. it's bringing MUCH unnecessary stress into my life, and i don't need a degree to be a perfectly successful photographer. nor do i need miles of school debt. not worth it. ever seen a burning building in person? yes. when i lived in sharpsburg, a house diagonal to us was entirely engulfed in flame. burned to the ground. just the foundation remains today. do you like gore? FUCKING AESTHETIC do you own any choker/collar necklaces? oh yes did you have a "scene" phase? nah, i was definitely more emo than scene. how often do you shave your legs, if at all? why do/don't you? like... every two weeks? i have no shorts or even khakis so no one ever sees my legs. if someone was going to see my legs for any reason though, i'd shave more frequently, yeah. and honestly, i only shave my legs due to societal standards. do you personally know anybody whose native tongue is not english? i sure do. are you dressing up for halloween this year? i would like to. i wanna be a plus-sized (if i'm still this large anyway) pin-up girl. horror movies: the bloodier, the better. right? not necessarily. i personally want a realistic amount of blood, always, because it adds to the immersion. hard to imagine "what if that was me?" if there's a comically huge amount of blood spewing from a wound or whatever. what do you think of people that smoke pot? same way i think of people who smoke cigarettes, honestly. it's a bad habit and they should stop. do you have pests in your house? if not, have you ever? we don't currently, but we have had a mouse problem twice and a centipede issue once. do you like korn? they were one of my first ever metal bands, and they're still fucking love today<3 what do you think of dodgeball being banned at some high schools? honestly? i'm fine with it being banned. it fucking terrified me personally, because kids got way too rough. when you were little, did you pick up worms? do you pick worms up now? ha ha ha yeah i dug for worms sometimes. :P i don't anymore, i don't like worms... if you have younger siblings, do they play sports? do you go watch their games? none of us do anymore. nicole graduated from a dance student to a teacher last year. she teaches the little kids. what do you think your friends say about you when you aren’t around? who the hell knows. can you cut your own hair? doubt it. do you own a guitar? i do. it's in my old room's closet. do you plan on seeing a band live this year? i would LIKE to, but a.) i'm poor and b.) no one ever comes to nc but country artists. :/ what’s a sport you don’t mind watching? dance. *prepares for the "that's not a sport" comments* what color hair would you like your baby to have? black like jason's. why do you think people care so much about looks? i honestly think in a way similar to one of my favorite lyrics by rammstein, which loosely translates to: "humans are but animals of the eyes." says a lot about us, doesn't it? i also kinda think it has something to do with adam and eve when they sinned and became ashamed of their nakedness; none of us want to feel embarrassment in regards to our body, so we want to have the body that society accepts. that brings about the next subject: who's to say/who started the expectation that there is a "right" body? as well, i even think humans' animalistic traits come into play here: "we" want a body we recognize as "fit and ready" to produce and protect its offspring, and i mean, the body we humans idolize is almost always a slim, fit body. it just makes sense to me. do you enjoy dancing? well, i was a dancer for many years, actually, at the local dance studio. i didn't love it, but it was something to do. i eventually stopped because of depression and over-the-top sweating. were you ever obsessed with the jonas brothers? no. i had a very strong dislike for them, VERY much so, and one day while i was away, nicole decorated our room (we shared a room for a long time) to where the walls were COVERED in their pictures from magazines. i was livid lol. do you ever feel like life is going by too fast? this past year? no. not at all. every day is the fucking same; i'm stuck at home foraging for some entertainment on the internet in my bed. all day. the days of the week blend together like a soup. so in my case, life is fucking dragging. do you pay for your own things? no, but only because i can't. i have no job, i get no allowance, sooo i get no income. fucking worthless 20-year-old, all right. who makes you feel like you’re worth something? at this moment? no one. my mom pissed me the fuck off and my best friend hates me currently and thinks because they're "only" mental, my illnesses are invalid. have you ever gotten in trouble on the internet? lmao fam when i was like what 12 or so i got moderated by the moderator of animal planet's "meerkat manor" forum *waggles fist* honestly, have you ever had lice? omg no i would freak do you think it’s possible to be in a long relationship without having sex? ... the fuck kind of question is this??? no shit!!! where did you last bleed from and why? hmmm. don't know for certain. has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? too many times. what do you like most about making out? uhhh... you do stuff... and things??? idk i honestly don't know how to answer this question. everything about it, i guess. have you ever had a guy put his hand in your shirt? yeah, but it wasn't unwelcomed or anything. what is the last thing you stapled?    sigh. twelve pages-worth of papers: jason's letter. mom and i are riding out to the post office tomorrow to get it mailed... god please let him read it. who was your first prom date?   jason was my one and only. have you ever been slapped in the face?   no. i emotionally wouldn't be able to handle that. have you ever touched a snake?   pet 'em, held 'em. are you lonely? be honest.  ha. always. do you like condoms? ... i don't... have an opinion...? are you good at editing pictures?    i honestly think i'm pretty good. are you any good at public speaking?   no, and they need to stop fucking forcing children to do it in school. would you have kids with the last person you kissed? FUCKING PLEASE have you ever thought of making love in a dressing room? sounds quite uncomfortable. do you know anyone who tries to steal everyone’s boyfriend? oh oh oh! i know!! rachel!! :D do you appreciate raunchy humor? no, honestly. have you ever looked up porn on the internet? nope. did you ever try cutting yourself? i have. and it doesn't help anything. don't do it. do you like to tell people who you like? honestly i just like any chance i get to talk about jason because i love him so fucking much and talking about him brings at least a mild happiness to me. ever been institutionalized? and they shoulda kept me, honestly. ever hold a newborn animal? kittens. (:

#survey #quiz #questions #asks #answered

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

Alex L: are you hoping Matt wont fight me this weekend?

Me: no. I'm hoping you'll fight him. Cause I'll know you'll win.

Alex: you think so?

Me: mmhmmm you always do

Alex: he's huge though baby

Me: well don't go for his Dick. He doesn't have one. But doesn't matter though Alex. I heard someone told him 10 people already had his name on Their fists. So you will be fine.

Alex: well im not using ten other people! Im just talking about me myself and I! Shit Saint Luches! She's gonna get me killed

Me: actually the group of 10 has more danger of being hurt unless they are to hold him down or stand in line. Because they don't have a chance to move when there's such a large group. You alone can totally kick his ass because you know how to move that lil ass. Remember that.

Alex: fucking pillow talk with Sabrina. Shit

Me: besides that baby You know he only got so big cause he was scared because he can't fight. And then he can't even touch the middle of his back anyway because hes got all them useless muscles.

Alex: really? They're useless? He can pick up a car

Me: brass knuckles you funky munky

Alex: You!!

Me: yeah. Gas monkey you used to drive for him. It was black and green lettering and I always sung it when I saw it

Alex: dam baby

Me: all the time. You like that huh?

Alex: Fuck babe

Me: and I remember, too

Alex: you're gonna make me cry

Me: you're gonna need to buy me a bra. I can't find mine

Alex: it's over there in the corner under that Like if shit or in the ... Is it in the hamper baby?

Me: I dont... Think so baby... I don't even... I haven't worn one in like... Since October?

Alex: i noticed

Me: old lady titties. You shouldn't be looking .. Leave them poor old things alone..them old hippie drippies look like they ain't seen a bra in their life!

Alex: well why did you quit wearing it?

Me: i got tired of putting it on everyday!

Alex: alright baby I'll buy you a bra. I know your size

Me: 48 or 46? Idk don't look at me!

Alex: i think it's 46 babe

Me: you have to try it on. Take all your boys babe

Alex: to buy you a bra?

Me: to try them out. You know how to do it. You gotta put it on... Then you gotta jump in front of the mirror and see if you like what you see. I bet Phoenix has a mall. Cacique.. I think it closed down but.. Don't go in Victoria Secrets they will look at your boys rude and yoh all sexy. But go to Frederick of Hollywood. All the girls on Christopher Street go,there

Alex: i know they did

Me: alright so you know what to do

Alex: where this bouncing come from?

Me: you know they can't unlacth the back so in a hurry they can see what it will look like when you know they don't take the bra off and he's got her jiggling.

Alex: I see. This is very testy, how serious is this babe?

Me: very!! I bet them boys forgot their Dick waa even for fucking!! They gotta get all the weird shit outta the way. So parading around in bras jumping up and down its like a bonding moment unlike no other!

Alex: and heels? You want us go try those on?

Me: mmhmmm and buy a pair in their size and then they girls don't wanna wear heels except in bed they will know why. Cause girl ain't wanna heard "them $3,000 shoes ain't ever hit the floor just wrapped around my ass and i swear your heel got real close to my shit hole and you may not wear them again" no she wanna hear "baby your shoe molested me and got me So scared i thought some one was here to take me away from you" that's what baby

Alex: what else baby?

Me: the thong.

Alex: okay baby I'll see what i can do

Me: good baby. That sounds wonderful. I think that's all

Alex: you want me to get your nails done baby? I saw you looking at them

Me: no. They cut them all the same and mine were peeling. But you can paint them. But i don't want to go to the salon

Saint Luches: they can treat them

Me: then we all go.

Alex: i knew that one was coming

Me: i see why you offered.

Saint Luches voice gets deep: for treatment

Me: yeah so after you get all dolled up at the mall yoh most certainly can take down a wanna be terminator with no arm reach. Take Steven Torrence to the mall, babe. Yoh said you owe him a jealousy apology

Alex: babe that's sounds more like torture!!

Me: if you're not invited to some weird cyclone event on Chandler love weekend

Alex: fine but because you called it Chandler Love Weekend

Me: i can't believe you got jealous!

Alex: what i did I did

Me: im just saying. I probably would been too probably but it was non touch. Non chalet just chillin,making someone feel good about themselves

Alex: you weren't ever serious?

Me: i think he's bunker kid adorable boy friend. Not bed.

Alex: aww shit I may had punched him a few too many times

Me: a few? Why?

Alex: eh babe don't ask questions I don't wanna answer.

Me: you really hit him? Like hard?

Alex: he hit me first !! ..... .... sometimes!

Me: you were in war with him?

Alex: hey look. You said boy friend in one word that's all i saw

Me: so. Babe and i was gonna take my girlfriend Brittany to bed?

Saint Luches: hey now a man could wish!

Me: insane. Insane. a War with a bunker boy!

Alex: it was.. It was... It was bad as hell i ain't gonna lie.

Me: you should been happy i had an anchor baby

Alex: I'm so dumb!

Me: did he hit you back good enough?

Alex: he called his mom who called my mom. Don't laugh don't laugh.I'm over here old as hell can't grow a mustache and his mom is calling my mom for the first time. It never happened in my fucking life.

Me: is that what he said? You can't grow a mustache so i wanna real man? So what you called him short? You guys did name calling for no reason until you got mad and threw a punch

Alex: look his mom called my mom first alright. Whose the wimp

Me: babe you probably gave him a bloody nose! And he had a heart attack. He needs extra love.

Saint Luches: you stop that right now

Me: im not talking to you. Really don't beat up that little boy

Alex: he's a grown man babe

Me: i said he's a little boy. You leave him alone.

Saint Luches: you know what i noticed too? He wasn't putting on a pansy about it. He was a real bitch, Alex was

Me: why you gonna yell at him for what I do?

Alex: i was feeling neurotic

Me: i was feeling unsafe and he was safe

Alex: don't cry. I'll apologize okay? I'll give him a dollar

Me: just make sure it's not pennies in a sock

Alex: alright just don't cry. I hate when you cry for what i do

Me: he was an anchor baby and i told you a thousand times.

Mark: dam it that's sexy.

Me: you like my anchor babies?

Mark: yeah. It wasn't that bad babe he was putting you on. It got pretty heated but he didnt beat him up

Me: did he think little Steven was possessing me? Making me like him because he's a nice kid

Mark: He was really just crazy he didn't know what to think and people like both med and large Jesse were taking shit how you were fucking Steven behind Alex's back and Matt got on it. It was bad babe.

Me: that's fucked up. I should had killed them already

Alex: you what? Music to my ears

Me: is he really going shopping?

Mark: you know I can't tell you that

Me: I'm sorry they did that to you Alex. No one told me.

Alex: really? No one? I told you they were fucking with me about him and I was getting mad

Me: and I said I was not hiding anything and it was plain to see

Alex: I know and I said I would beat himup anyway

Me: I thought you meant Jesse

Alex: oh Jesus Christ

Me: well i tell you thst scrap ain't scared of shit. He ain't ever blocked me. That's a real man if you ask me.,BABE. Use your brain.,

Alex: oh ok I'll go apologize and I'll be nice

Mark: they never get along because of you

Me: and the first day I call him sexy He blocks me. Alex come here.

Alex: what

Me: I love you

Alex: alright I'll get over it -- I mean him

Me: well I don't need to because you had more passion in your relationship than he and I did. Just so you know

Alex: are you sure?

Me: YES! :)

Alex: I'll learn to chill

Me: and I thought you were. Until I saw you fighting Tanner Gray. Who by the way is hot. But Babe.

Alex: you think hes hot?!?!

Me: you're focused on the wrong thing.

Alex: he said he would fuck yoh so i beat him up

Me: and i appreciate it.

Alex: wh

Me: because i didn't even know who he was and he was talking shit and i found it to be disrespectful and i didn't run across it online till weeks later. Or months Idk. And it was gross. He don't know me to be talking like that. Someone's kid all nasty up on me. He wasn't invited. I didn't see him that way. Did Steven say he would fuck me?

Alex: no

Me: okay. So don't listen to rumors ok? Ok?

Alex: yeah alright babe.

Me: okay. He's sick like me. He had a heart attack

Alex: Steve Torrence did

Me: yeah. We had things in common not alot of people do. Child hood sickness. Like you and me. We didn't have a normal child hood. While we weren't actually sick. We saw the sickest things in the world. It just felt safe to know he was there. Not like id be all in his trailer. I'd rather be in John Force's trailer just because he is more fatherly.. He just made it help feel safe for me. You see now? And I'm pretty sure they knew that. That's why they started taking shit. Because it could been about anyone to make you upset. But to keep me away so they can human traffic or try to pimp girls. They know I'll fuck up their shit So they would find my safety zone and attack it. So you fight with Steve Torrence. Then I get mad at you. Then what? You don't trust me. So then you're all paranoid and then you don't like people I like so we have no one in common. They had a whole list. Big Jesse ran by me. I just told them I didn't like anyone in it. But they knew who I would. They did. I remember I looked him up. Like Greg Line. Then they wanted to know how much I paid attention to mechanics and they were all "pick this one. Pick this one." On and on then "that should fuck her up" well i didn't know what the fuck they were talking about I really wasn't interested in racing. I knew there was shit to find but I didn't know what. So i knew I wasn't interested in what they were about. Because I have my own ways. My own shit I look for. My own reasons to do things. Them fucking with you is not something I ever thought would happen. I really thought you were all non violent and chill. Outta drama minding your own business

Alex: well I really am babe but they brought it to me

Me: I know baby, that is what I'm saying. To hurt you.

Alex: oh the fuck they did. I see. I'll earnestly apologize to Steve Torrence

Me: honestly?

Alex: it means the same thing. Then I'll take care of that rumor mill okay baby

Me: ok. Thank you

Alex Laughlin: I love you

Me: i love you, too

Alex: More than Steve?

Me: differently than him baby. Diffffferent. I love you

Alex: I love you. Don't cry no more Ok? I'll take care of it baby.

Me: k

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