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genderkoolaid · 2 years

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Are we sharing examples or transandrophobia? I want to share especially as an autistic trans man and how that intersect. Tw for like mentions of r@pe but no detail. These specific incidents actually run through my mind almost constantly. I came out for the FIRST time when I was 16: -people refused to use the name I had chosen despite me pointing out that's stupid because out cis male friend had changed his name just because he didn't like it and all I was doing was dropping one letter

-my best friend told me that if I slept with a girl who thought I was a "real" man and after she found out I was trans I would have been a rapist for consensually going down on a girl who "thought I was a real man"

-I had a random girl in my class "ask if my ex bf knew I really had a dick" when I said I was trans

-my parents said "no matter what, you'll always be our little girl"

So, I went back into the closet for the most part. I went by She/They and was always like "im not a girl" but people pretty much brushed me off and I didn't pursue transition bc I was afraid of how people would treat me. I came out AGAIN at 21, this time really putting my foot down that I AM MALE.

-My aunt started to refer to my info dumping as "mansplaining" so I stopped sharing my interests with her

-People began to actively misgender me, whereas before some people would at least try to use they as well as she, I only get called she now and never they

-I started to get harassed in public for holding my partner's hand even tho we're both trans

-People really go out of their way to gender me now. "When I was a girl" nobody ever ma'amed me. NEVER, ever.

-People like to assume I'm mentally ill for being trans or that someone must have pushed me to be trans. Their pea brains implode when I say actually I really struggled to come out in the face of everyone telling me not to and I'm trans because I realized I'd die from trying to harm myself if I didn't accept who I already am

-I got sent a lot of death threats and rape threats. A lot. Mostly online, of course, but it really took me aback the negative reaction I had from the WLW spaces I was in when I said I was leaving because, well, I'm not a woman. Crypto terfs, man.

-My uncle said to me, and I quote "Keep this trans shit away from your grandmother, she has enough to deal with" I asked him what he expected me to do when I grew facial hair and muscles and lost my tits. He didn't answer, he probably didn't care.

-My aunt, who claimed to be the most accepting, still misgenders me and acts personally offended when I tell her she's not progressive for doing the bare minimum to show me respect, and not even consistently.

-My aunt ALSO told me I was the reason SHE wasnt getting HRT for her early menopause because "T is gonna make you angry and I don't want to be around that" (T made me calmer and less likely to EXPRESS my anger, actually. I have to find different ways to let it out now bc I kinda just CANT feel angry or sad the same way anymore)

-None of my family has called me to ask me how I'm doing since i came out. They all kinda avoid talking to me, but won't say it, I've noticed though.

-My partner's mom told me she wanted me to go to therapy. I said I'd go for my PTSD as it was causing problems between her and I, she said "No, I want you to go for 'this'" Meaning, she wanted me to go to therapy for being trans. My partner got upset at this and said that absolutely would not be happening because being trans isnt a mental illness

-cis people look at me in TERROR when they misgender me, like they're waiting for me to freak out at them or physically assault them. It actually really hurts my feelings tbh, out of everything those moments sting the most. People I don't even know very well assuming the worst of me for being trans.

Idk just the pure hatred people have towards transmascs and then for people withing our own communities to act like these things don't happen on the daily and don't drive us to have among the highest suicide rates out of any other demographic... It hurts. It really hurts, I want to cry over it and then still this little voice in my head, the voice THEY put there, says to me "Boys don't cry. if you show the slightest sign that these things hurt you, they won't take you seriously"

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

#m.#ask box #experiences with transandrophobia #rape tw

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iwannawritelots · 2 years

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Live By the Sword

Originally written October 2021

Masterlist

Genre: erm, I’m not really sure

Ship(s): Lucifer X MC

(genderless MC)

(requested)

Trigger/content warnings: it gets a bit suggestive but nothing too bad

Headcanons/notes from the author: Lucifer, avatar of seeing MC be hot and imploding.

Brief Blurb: Lucifer sees a video of MC sword fighting a demon and confronts them about the hidden ability.

Lucifer's mouth was agape, disbelief written in his whole body language as he watched the last part of the Devilgram video. You, the human the demon brothers longed for, holding a demon captive in your mercy. The sword you held pointed to the demon's throat. "Had enough yet? Or should I finish you off?"

He didn't believe his brothers when they had told him you beat a demon in a duel. Sure, when you had performed the TSL musical, it was evident you had experience with swordsmanship... but he hadn't expected this. Slowly, he handed Asmodeus his phone, staring at his desk as thoughts raced through his head. "Where is _____ now?"

"They're in their room. They came home with me." He twirled a lock of hair around his finger and bit his lip, humming with thought. "It was so... mesmerizing in person. The video doesn't give nearly as much feeling as the real thing."

A small twinge of jealousy snapped in Lucifer's chest. He felt stupid feeling such a way over this, but... the least he could do is tell you how impressed he was. "I'm going to go see them. You mind your own business." He stood, eying his little brother. "Seriously. Go paint your nails or something."

Lucifer made his way towards your room, trying to figure out what to say. What was he supposed to say in the first place, really? Slowly, he approached your bedroom door, then knocked carefully to avoid scaring you. He felt his stomach flutter when you opened the door, half undressed from your uniform. "Lucifer? Did I do something?"

"Yes, actually. I wanted to talk to you about the video spreading all over social media." He flickered his gaze away from you, attempting to contain himself. It wasn't even all that revealing, but for whatever reason only partial uniform felt risqué to him. "It can wait until you have finished changing, however..."

The statement caused you to look down, and your face filled with confusion. "It's just a shirt and pants?"

He cleared his throat, then exhaled for a long moment before returning his gaze to you. "I only meant to be polite, since I interrupted you."

"You are so weird." You leaned against the doorframe. "Anyways, what's the big deal with the video?"

He perked an eyebrow. "You don't know why I'm bringing this up at all?"

"Well I know someone filmed me dueling that demon but it's not a huge deal." You shrugged a little. "They couldn't get a single hit on me, if that's what you're worried about."

"No, I watched the video. I know they did not hurt you." He laid a hand on your shoulder. "Your skill was very impressive. Why hadn't you mentioned your experience to me sooner? I'd be much less concerned for your safety."

Still not at all understanding why he was making a fuss, you blinked. "I didn't think it was a huge deal. Plus it's not like I can carry around a sword all the time, that's silly."

"It is not silly." He huffed. "This whole time I've been concerned about demons attempting to eat you, while you had a self defense ability? I could have very well gotten Lord Diavolo to cooperate and allow you to carry a sword."

You blinked a few more times, then the realization hit you hard. "Oh."

He hummed, running his fingers down your jaw. "Besides that matter... I am very proud of you for standing your ground, despite that kind of behavior being a pain in my ass most of the time. You troublemaker." He cupped your cheek, and your face heated up. "While I... do attempt to keep my hands to myself as much as I can, I will admit it was... seductive to watch you perform so diligently." You watched him step closer, his cheeks slightly red. "Is this... okay?"

You giggled, then pulled him closer to yourself, before pressing your lips against his. The avatar of pride blushed, deepening the kiss and cupping the back of your head. You felt your face flush even more, biting at his bottom lip with the smallest bit of desperation. He complied to the gesture, opening his mouth for you and mewling quietly once your tongues touched.

This would have gone on for a while, but you heard a camera shutter snap. Both of you broke away from each other, then caught Asmodeus' figure escaping around the corner. "ASMODEUS."

#darlingqueue #lucifer x mc #mc x lucifer #lucifer #luci #mc #gn mc #obey me! one master to rule them all #obey me! shall we date?#obey me!#obey me #omomtrta #omswd #om!#om #fanfiction #fanfic #darlingficsbycinna #iwannawritelots

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casspurrjoybell-28 · 6 months

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Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 54 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Flashbacks of the midnight escapades of Daemon and I through that window flood through my mind all at once.

And the fact that he's the only one I've ever known to be able to scale a two story house in seconds.

"Don't be silly, you're going to hurt yourselves," I plead.

"I'm sorry, Ash," Wren replies solemnly before suddenly shifting.

His small black wolf bounds out the window, Lylah follows suit and her red one leaps out after him.

I run to the sill, looking down to see them scrambling down the roof tiles.

Their wolf forms give them an advantage, only struggling a bit over the edge before they find their way to the ground.

My limbs start to shake, apprehension and anxiety flooding through me.

They could get hurt, something in my gut just tells me they could, that they will.

Without thinking anymore, I brace myself to shift, wincing as my bones crack and my clothes tear off.

Once it's over, I grab one of Daemon's huge shirts in my jaw.

Then I scramble past the window sill, skittering down the roof as my claws painfully catch on the tiles.

Whining in pain, I get to the edge and leap down to the next one, going as fast as I can.

I end up a heap in the bushes, moaning in pain as the sharp twigs irritate me through my fur.

Moon Goddess, I'm glad I'm alone because that was embarrassing.

Catching my breath for a second, I scoop up the shirt in my mouth from where it fell and sprint after the scent of my friends.

I'm exhausted almost immediately, each step agony and I regret not working out with Daemon more.

My hikes have not cut it, endurance wise.

I decide to shift back into human form, quickly pulling on Daemons shirt that is more like a dress on me.

Now that I don't have to traverse rooftops, I prefer to be in the form I'm most comfortable in.

I'm about to sprint past a row of houses when I hear a loud shriek of pain.

Wren.

I bolt in the direction of it, coming across an alleyway.

But when I witness what I find there, I stop dead in my tracks.

The world goes quiet.

All I can hear is the loud thump of my heart as it palpitates frantically, my entire being in shock of the sight, the person, that stands before me.

The person that is the source of all my pain, suffering and scars.

The person I thought I would never have to see again.

The person that Daemon swore to kill because of all that he did to me.

And that very person is here, now, in a place I thought I'd be safe from him, violently yanking one of my best friends by the hair.

Wren's body is naked from having transformed and his legs are bruised and bloody as my stepfather forcefully drags him across the cement.

"I smell that bitch on you. Where is he? Where is Ash Willow?"

Wren only cries, struggling to get away.

"Stop. Stop hurting him," I scream, rushing forward blindly.

The action is effective because he drops Wren like a piece of hot iron.

His eyes gleam with madness and he's on me in an instant, snatching my arm in a crushing grip.

"There you are, you little runt. I've been looking everywhere for you," he snarls, pulling me close to his face, his putrid breath invading my senses.

My eyes water, nausea and terror overcoming me in a painful wave.

This can't be real. How can this be happening?

"Thought you could run from me? Stupid boy. Whoring yourself out to the enemy pack was the best you could do?"

I tremble, my body feeling likes it's been paralyzed.

I can't do this. I can't have him touching me.

It makes my body feel like it'll implode from how horrible it feels.

For a moment, I try to speak but before I can choke out Daemons name he wraps a hand around my neck and presses harshly.

My knees buckle, dizziness hitting my and my vision flickers out.

I can only hear Wren scream my name before I'm lost to the world

********

I feel like I'm dead.

Maybe I am, if my stepfathers found me.

Maybe he's finally done it, buried me in the grave right next to my mothers.

But I become aware of the feeling of being jostled, a regular pattern of feet hitting the ground and I realized I'm slung over the Alpha's shoulder, the blood rushing to my head.

I choke out a strangled cry, immediately attempting to get out of his hold.

I claw at his back, which earns me a hard smack on my behind.

"Disobedient little boy," he scolds harshly.

"L-let me go. Let me go," I scream, panic overwhelming me.

He can't do this.

He can't take me away from the magic of my life now.

Not to go back to that horrid place.

"Not a chance."

"Please. Why are you doing this? Why are you taking me? I thought you wanted me gone from your life."

"So you get to go off and do whatever you want? No, Ash. You are property that I get to decide what happens to. That is how it has always been. How dare you disrespect me the way you have?"

"You tried to kill me," I sob, kicking my feet to no avail.

I can't get away.

Why do alphas have to be so strong?

It's not fair that I am forced to go along with their whims simply because I cannot fight back.

"Don't be dramatic. As an Alpha, I can do whatever I want to a pathetic Omega like you."

Tears of frustration and dread pool in my eyes, blurring my vision.

"I j-just don't understand why you can't let me be."

He scoffs, as if what I'm suggesting is incredulous.

"I deserve something for bothering to raise a useless runt like you. The least you can do is get me some coin once I sell you off. I had Alphas lined up for you, Ash. But like the ungrateful child you are, you didn't appreciate how I kept your chastity safe because they were willing to pay a handsome price for your virginity, your first heat."

I let my lip curl over my canines in anger.

Him and his fucking perverts for friends.

"Those things are gone now. I found my mate and I gave everything to him. I'm spoiled now, worthless to you."

He shakes his head, scorn overtaking his tone.

"I knew the second you got away you'd let any passing dog have a go at you. Dirty boy," he snarls.

"You're the dirty one. You're disgusting," I shout, banging on his back.

I'm so scared.

I'm so disoriented that all I can do is lash out blindly.

I hate him. I hate him so much.

"Here's what's going to happen. You're going to shut that bratty mouth of yours unless you want me to sew it up. And then you're going wait patiently until I sell you off because if you haven't forgotten, I OWN you. And you're not going to say a word about your precious mate and the things you did with him or I'll slit your throat. You should be grateful, really. Some fucker is finally going to give you a bit of worth when he knocks you up."

I vomit.

He shouts in disgust, throwing me to the ground.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He lands a harsh kick to my stomach and I cry out, sobbing as I dig my hands in the dirt.

He rips off his soiled shirt, throwing it to the ground.

"You nasty mutt. You really have lost all your obedience. Where is the sweet boy I raised?"

"He's dead," I scream, scrambling up and attempting to run but he lunges at me, pushing me to the ground.

I don't have time to react before a blunt force hits the back of my head.

Daemon.

'Daemon.'

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