#if you have questions i am so happy to answear them

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Meet my OC from Star-crossed :

*drumroll*

Nina Cerasus

Pic from artbreeder

Pronunciation of her name : Nee-nuh

Family stuff:

22 standard years old born in Naboo (in Heavenbound fic she is 32)

she has a rare heart disease HCM

when her mom got sick her dad left them

her mom died when she was 7 years old

she was raised by her grandmother

she goes to law school

her best friend is Polina who is a vampire

and Anfisa a who is a fae

Appearance:

female

pale skin (comes from her disease)

160 cm, 5'2 feet

skinny but fit and flexible (side effect of her meds and pilates classes)

her cheeks looks blushed (side effect from her meds)

she has freckles

she has diastema (visible gap between her two front upper teeth)

she wears glasses at home and contact lenses when she goes out

she has brunette straight hair, mid length and with curtain bangs, she wears it in different up dos and braids like Nabooan women and likes to clip pearls and star clips in the locks

her hands are always cold (comes from the meds from her disease)

she smells like cherries, almond and mint tea (inspired by tom ford's lost cherry perfume)

she has tattoos: one is on her spine shows different phases of the moon, also it glows in the dark, several ones on her fingers she has tiny dainty stars and constellations, and on the inner side of her hip is a loth wolf in a tribal style art, and a quote on her bacl ankles "Ad astra, per aspera."

her style includes gem colored light fabric dresses, mostly pant suits with cut outs

she has a bracelet a red string with a star shaped lucky charm (gift from her gran for protection)

she has a pair of jade droplet earrings, and an enchanted red amber pendant (both gifts from Maul)

she likes sparkly make up and nailpolish

she has a raspy seductive voice (inspired by sofia bush's voice)

Personality:

she is rather introvert and close to herself

likes to argue, good at keeping information to herself (she is to be a lawyer duh)

she has trust issues, and abandonment issues

says that she doesn't believe in love or relationships but secretly hopeless romantic

only dates but never in a relationship till she meets Maul and later Wolffe in my Heavenboun fic

doesn't like jedi or any Force user, she thinks they are snobs and dogmatics, but later she'll like Master Plo and his wolf pack

she isvery inteligent speaks in several languages

she enjoys art, music, dancing and reading

she is a bit of a nerd when it comes to astronomy (not the horoscope one)

she is currious and patient (especially with Maul)

she looks down on men, she thinks they all liars, and cheaters, and only good to manipulate/to be an acessory/ to please her in bed till she founds love

she will do everything to her friends and loved ones

she has a soft spot for Anfisa (my other OC)

hard to open up but actually super sweet

maybe a bit impulsive, but at same time she has a 5 year plan already

they call her the "ice queen" because her specialty is freezing out people and always looks calm and collected but under the hard shell she panic a lot

Other:

she is a party girl but only because she loves dancing

her hobby is star gazing and her dream job is to be a star cartographer

she never left Naboo before, but dreams to travel the galaxy and make star maps in Star-Crossed fic, in Heavenbound she leaves in Couruscant

she is allergic to tooka cat fur

she can't drive a ship

pretty good in self defense and shooting (both comes from Polina's idea to join self defense classes)

she collects celestial themed jewelry

she is terrible at cooking

to quit smoking she learnt how to tie a knot with her tounge from a cherry stem, so she always carry some cherries with her

AN: So that's all I could collect in this moment. Sorry for any mistype or bad English this is not my first language. Other character deep dive list and mood boards are in plans so I hope you'll like her as much as I do.

I plan to make one about what characters and persons inspired her personality, looks and name (no it not comes from mine even though it's similar to my nickname)

💖

Nika

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

#meet my oc #nina nerasus #oc nina cerasus #nika's writing #star-crossed the fic #maul and nina #if you have questions i am so happy to answear them #character deep dive #OC info dump #OC info

[ananiel]

So we talked about many difrent au's, did we not? But You know one that can't posibily fail us? One where You are like Howl from Howls moving castle.

Howl is a wizard known for his famous spells, strong magic, wit and for being well known in the ladies world

So what if You had his personality and overall magical qualities

A Christmas special

---------------------------------------------------

You were driving him mad with your personality that let's out so much but nothing at the same time.

He hated You so much he loved You. So much he grew obsessed with your very own being.

You were difrent, a witch of some sorts that made him so angry.

You were so arogant and pridefull, so ready to just flick your wrist and float away from him.

Clearly You knew he didn't have the very best intensions, but You never voiced it. It didn't seem like You treated him difrent from the others either. He could've sworn that You didn't know anything, but when a younger fan decided to come out to You, he saw the protective hand You put over the child when he came on sight.

You knew, You knew more about him then he could even comprehand You did, You could be a threat to his plans. In his eyes, You were an impure being that played with things God has forbiden humans from ever doing

He even went to confront You in that weird abomination You called Your castle. You let him in while working on God knows what and he got a look around... It doesn't seem that bad...

When he tried to argue, You gave back witty responses which annoyed him teribly but what caught his attention was an answear You gave about leaving soon to continue your search for someone You met in the past.

He was fuming, he put on a happy act that You didn't buy, but didn't care enough to question him either.

There's no way in hell he would ever let You leave him for another, no way in hell.

So he come up with a plan, he helped You find that person but in return You craft a ring that can block all magic for him.

Now, theoretically he did help You find them, but before You could run to them, he shot them, straight to the heart, the perfect shot.

You feel to your knees in anguish as You knew You couldn't do anything. He was phisically stronger and magic couldn't help You if he wore that ring.

The maniac crounched down next to You and took your hand in his while shussing your cries. He pulled out a ring that looked the same as the magic ring You crafted and put it on your finger before kissing your hand with a deranged smile

"You see my love? How pathetic they were? How foolish of You to try and find them when i am all You need, right in front of You"

#moriarty the patriot #moriarty the patriot x reader #louis james moriarty #william james moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #louis james moriarty x reader #mtp x you #william james moriarty x reader #mycroft holmes x reader #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere mtp #yandere moriarty the patriot #yandere bsd #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bsd fyodor #mtp sherlock #Paul Verlaine x reader #bsd paul verlaine #bsd arthur rimbaud #sherlock holmes x reader #albert james moriarty x reader #Yandere yuukoku no moriarty #mtp mycroft #mtp x reader #bsd chuuya #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #howls moving castle

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

DFF Finale

Not with a bang, not a whimper but somewhere in the middle.

My thoughts are jumbled and all over the place, I came in the finale already spoiled (I couldn't wait and the gray sites are taking too long) and I am not even sure I will still feel 100% like this by the time the week is out.

Ultimatly I agree a lot with what @lurkingshan says in her post here

A lot of the episode was good: The hallucinations were amazing, and I think the character work in all of them (and the series in general, with only some minor hiccups) is very solid. The acting is also very good. I want to see these boys in more roles. The writing from Ep 1 to Ep 9 was AMAZING!! The reveals are all super hard hitting, it felt like there was fire after fire for every episode.

White my baby, a tragic character if there ever was one, HE WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, his boyfriend was basically seeing him as replacement Non since they started dating. We all loved and clowned on this character so hard!! A lot of White's character makes sense in hindsight, at least to me who is like 5 weeks in a couple of layers of theorizing and obessing (I do realize not everyone feels like that a lot of what makes sense for me it's speculation driven by weeks of obsession), even some of the other more baffling moments, like the converstation with Tan and that moment with Phee.

Problems started at EP 10, and while I loved the Tee and TeeWhite scenes of EP 11 thanks to episode 10 they felt way to disconnected and too late. It left the last 3 episodes less focused and the pacing a mess.

And then there is the ending. And while this is by no means the worse ending of a BL I ever seen, and this show is by no means the biggest dissapointment I ever had (that's still Only Friends). I don't think the ending was as strong as it should be.

I think the failure of DFF for me is in two places:

The focus on mystery and reveals primed the audience to expect answears or at least an ending that is more clear then what we got.

The way they did this open ending gave me the impression that they just refused to pick an ending and so they went with "both and none and who knows".

There were ways to make an ending with still some questions left open work: Give me the cops in the house, or show us the bodies as Phee comes out of the hallucination and gives his final breath. Show the bodies in different positions, show the ax in someone's body and no New. Or even have the ending be a journalist talking at the screen keeping up with the layers of voyerism to the story and have them describe only 7 bodies but not say who survive so the audience can pick the option they like best.

Anything that would have given the impression that they actually PICKED an ending.

I am not sure I will be able to re-watch this, I am scared too many things will start to fall apart if I do. While I enjoyed clowing with the fandom and truly loved watching this live (and it has helped me interacting more with people on tumblr) I can't help but feel like maybe if I had binged this, without having time to think over some of the stuff I probably would have enjoyed the finale better.

Maybe I should just be happy that a BL I was hyperfixating on didn't crush and burn like the other two (Shadow and Only Friends).

I am happy BOC experimented and branced out even if they didn't totally sticked the landing, it's a worth while show to watch if you can handle horror. I want BLs to do more stuff like that (experimenting and branching out in different genres) and I want the people in the cast to have a long carrear because I think they mostly all did an amazing job.

In short great job BOC (even if you didn't land all that well at the end there) now give me a poly series: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

#txt #dead friend forever

[portg-ass-d-ace]

Hi, I came from twitter and asked my friend for their account on tumblr just because I saw you do answer asks here and I am too shy to actually face someone I like on twt. So I am your little personal weird stalker I guess.

Anyway. I love how much sense your theories make. So hope it’s okay that you will get another kinda mishanks ask but not really mishanks ask? It’s about their relationship not ship but still, could be tagged like this

I kinda send similar questions to different people which I’m always interested in opinions and definitely would love to hears yours too.

Do you think shanks and Mihawk will form a close bond? Will they fight together? Or will they work together in any way? I always thought Oda left those little moments between them for a reason.

Shanks being the one who persuade Mihawk to actually PARTY and SOCIALISE with him

Mihawk leaving Marineford as soon as shanks came along etc

I know we don’t know much but I so wish they would become one of the closest bonds of shanks and I wonder if you find this possible in ang way

Hi! Just a heads up, i'm happy to interact and answear questions, just don't call yourself my "stalker".

As for your question, personally i think we haven't gotten THAT many interactions in the canon manga that would suggest they have a super close bond, aside from maybe rivalry. The manga is not over though so we may get way more context into how they met, what their fights were like, etc.

I think they will 100% meet again in some way, otherwise Oda wouldn't have paired Mihawk with Buggy, someone we know Shanks has A LOT of history with and deeply cares for. I don't know if they will fight though... We know the anticipated fight is Zoro/Mihawk, so to throw in another one seems like a lot of work for Oda.

In my mind i almost see it like if Shanks were to fight him it would be in the context of him being mad at Mihawk and Croc for abusing Buggy, since we know he places his friends above all else.

I'm sure they have some bond, it's just hard to guess because i think we have little information on it, especially with Mihawk being so closed of and quiet, we know almost nothing about him.

[cooloddball]

Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

#submissions #cockles

[awdawdawfaef]

he must needs claim that they are not his brother’s

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[miojodetomatin]

♡

hello! so, this is my first time writing some content for Tumblr and my first time writing imagine content for the rami malek tag, and i'm kinda nervous hehehe, since i'm a non-english speaker (i'm from Brazil) and i'm not that fluent in english. also, i've never watched The Pacific (guess who can't find it online for free? hehe), so all the character and the trait of Merriel here were based on other imagines i've read about him

so, i think... good lecture, i guess. aaa somebody help my i'm so nervous

word count: almost 2400 words ;

nothing here belongs to me, except the writing and the story, also the video credits goes to l0user (YouTube) ;

Mr. Shelter

《 Snafu Imagine 》

1945

Nobody was waiting for him at the train station. Even thought it hurted to think about, he knew it would be like this since he entered that goddamn ship that sealed to the Second Great War.

It was past 6PM in the afternoon when the train stopped at New Orleans and let some soldiers get down of it and go back to their family. But Merriel didn't have a family waiting for him, not even Jade was there for him, but he couldn't judge her, he knew it was his fault that she was given to a foster home and didn't even knew he went to war. He didn't even said goodbye to Eugene, because he didn't want to wake the poor boy up. So he get off the train like he appeared, quickly and in complete silence.

He couldn't stop thinking about that situation while he started to walk through the station, passing throught the bunch of couples and families receiving their boys and mans alive from that monstrous war. They at least had someone or a home of their own. But Merriel had nothing and nobody.

Well, he had actually one person, a girl to be more specific, but he was trying hard to not think about that girl. It was just a moony teenage romance, nothing that passed from it. She was probably married to some asshole right now and having to take care of at least 5 naughty children. He didn't liked to think that she was married to another guy, but he knew she wouldn't have waited for him for like... 5 years? God, that's a long time. She didn't even send him a letter. During those 5 years, he haven't received anything, not even a letter. It was hard to see the other boys cheering to some picture or letter that they've receive from their girlfriends and he had to pretend he didn't care.

The day was being consumed slowly by one of those starry nights in New Orleans. The train station looked so dark that Merriel had one hundred percent sure that it was dawn or even dusk, or maybe it was just his mind trying to convince him that being in the battleground was better than coming back "home".

He bumped into something; he was distracted, thinking about the whole thing about coming back home and walking at the same that he didn't even noticed that little kid crying in the middle of the street. With the shock, he let his bag fall and hit the ground, almost making him and the kid fall together. His fast movement allowed him to equilibrate and hold the kid at the same time, before both hit the ground.

"Ay kiddo! Careful. Whatcha doin' in the middle of the street like this? You're goin' to get hurt." Scolded the boy, but as soon as he heard the silent cry and sobs, he regreted being so hard with the kid. "Ay boy, are you okay?" The boy just sobbed louder. "Can you tell me what happened?"

The boy turned and looked at him; his appearance was something else. The curly hair, that blue greenish eyes and thin reddish lips. Merriel felt like he was looking at some kind of mirror or something. Even the olive skin was similar to his. Even shocked with his vision, he felt the necessity of making sure the boy was okay. "What happened, kiddo?"

The kid sniffed and showed what he was holding in both of his hands, a teddy bear without an arm in the left hand and an arm without a teddy bear in the right one. The boy sobbed again. "I, I ripped off it's arm accidentally. Mo-momma is going to be angry at me, i-it's her teddy bear a-and I took him out without permission!" The boy started crying and sobbing hard again. Merriel was shocked due the boy's confession.

"Ay, ay, ay. Kiddo, calm down, okay? Lemme see the teddy bear." He asked, while cowering in front of the boy.

The boy gave him the teddy bear, and sobbing, murmured. "Shelter, sir."

"What?"

"His name is Shelter, momma calls him like this."

"Oh." Agreed, looking again to the teddy bear, with a sad mien. "There's anythin' I can do for the poor Mr. Shelter, the teddy bear, maybe a needlewoman can fix, but I'm just a soldier, I can't do anythin' kiddo. Sorry." The boy started sobbing again. "Ay, calm down. The best you can do now is tell your mother what you've done and hope that she forgives you. Ok pal?" The kid calmed down and nodded, while rubbing his eyes full with tears with his hands. "So, here's Shelter." Gave to the kid the stuffed animal back and stand up, ready to start walking to nowhere when little hands grabbed his own big hands.

Merriel was a little surprised with the boy's propose on taking him back home to tell his mother about what he have done to the poor bear Shelter, and even more surprise when, without hesitation, he accepted the propose. The whole way back wasn't made in complete silence, because after Merriel said yes to that crazy propose, the little boy didn't stopped talking and making the 23 years old man speak and answear his questions; he talked a lot, and Merriel realized that their appearance wasn't the only similar thing between them both.

"You know, momma had Shelter even before I was born! It was a gift from her boyfriend, I think."

"A gift?"

"Yeah, she gained it from her boyfriend one week before he was gone. I think he won Shelter for her on some kind of game, she said it was on a 'county fair', and that it was one of the best gifts of her life!" The boy chuckled and keep telling the strange man about his life with his momma, but Merriel stopped listening. It couldn't be. He couldn't help thinking about the girl again; he remembered when he shot those stupid cans and won the skinny brown teddy bear that looked like the poor boy Shelter just to impress her. She was so happy and excited, looking like a child, when Merriel gave her the teddy bear that she even kissed his nose accidentally. He smiled with the memory of her soft lips at the same time the little boy stopped abruptly.

Merriel looked up and saw the house. It was really pretty, actually; two floors, pastel yellow with some white details on some parts of the roof and the delicatef fences of the porch, where some plants and a wooden bench were part of the decoration, and in front of the pretty house, there was the prettiest garden Merriel has ever seen in his entire life.

"Sir?" The boy called Merriel, who immediately stopped admiring the house. "Come with me and tell my momma what happened to Mr. Shelter? Please?"

Merriel sighed. "I can go with ya, but ya have to tell ya ma what you've done."

The boy agreed and they started walking in direction of the pastel yellow house. When the little boy opened the door, a feminine voice echoed from the kitchen. "Alle, is that you?"

Allesandro looked to Merriel, who signed to him to go talk to his momma. Allesandro agreed and entered the kitchen, letting the marine admiring the inside of the pastel yellow house; so clean and organised, full of books and delicate porcelain objects.

"Allesandro!" The feminine voice screaming from the kitchen got Merriel attention back. "What have I told you about taking my things without permission?"

Allesandro sobbed in the distance. "I-I'm sorry momma!"

"And how am I going to fix it now?" Merriel started walkung slowly in direction of the kitchen. The smell of meat and potato patties was the most attractive smell he have smelled in those five years.

Allesandro noticed when he entered the kitchen. "Bu-but he said he knows someone who can h-help!" And one hiccup escaped his mouth. Merriel was shocked when the mother turned to him. It was her, the girl he had been dreaming all over those five years.

He murmured with a whisper. "Y-Y/N?"

"Merriel?" You murmured the same tone as him. Oh God, you've been waiting for that moment for the past 5 years and now he was there, in front of you. You didn't even knew if he was alive, your father didn't let you have any contact with him after he was gone; and now he was there.

"W-why didn't you...?" He whispered, so low that nobody though himself could hear, but you heard. And it hurted. That sad look in his eyes broke your heart, you wanted so much to hug him and said that you were sorry for not writing him any letter even though you didn't have any idea where he was. "You...?"

"Merriel, I-..." You walked 'til him, putting Shelter, the bear, and his ripped arm over the table and totally forgetting about the meat and the potato patties in the oven. You stopped in front of him, wanting so bad to touch him, to kiss that thin lips that are so delicious and vicious again. "... you're back...!" And then you hugged him, feeling the yerning tears coming out of your eyes in abundance. You could feel that he wasn't expecting you to hug him, shocked by the fact that you still remembered him and even though you didn't send him any letter. "I'm so, so sorry! I-I thought of you every night ans wrote you a lot of letters, but my father, h-he..." Merriel hugged you tight, he kinda understood for a moment. Your father was always a little piece of shit with him, but he couldn't judge the old man; if Merriel's daughter started going out and spending time with some guy that was knew for being a troublemaker and a big trashmouth like him he would be pissed too.

"Momma." Allesandro said suddenly, interrupting the moment between you two. "Do you know him?"

You noticed when Merriel became tense looking at your son. He finally realised and you needed to act fast. "Allesandro, sweetheart, could you go to the living room watch some TV? Momma needs to talk with this man in particular."

Even though Allesandro wanted so bad to hear the conversation, he obeyed your order and went to the living room, turning on the TV on some random show. You supposed it was The World in Your Home.

It was weird to look at Merriel after all those years and having to have that conversation in the most inappropriated way. The smell of meat and potatoes patties suddenly remebered you from the dinner you were preparing before he came. When you approximated from the oven, you finally decided to speak. "I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't knew you were coming back today, so the meal I prepared for dinner isn't the beast one for your homecoming." You joked, and he kinda gave you a quiet laugh.

He grabbed the chair from the dinner table. "So, Allesandro?" He looked in direction of the living room, where your son was watching TV. "You're now a mother, Y/N."

You could feel the pain in his voice. "I'm a mother." You could only say this.

"And his name is Allesandro. How old is he? Five?"

"Four, he'll be five next weekend." You sighted. It was now or never. "He was named like his father."

"Really?" You turned off the oven, finishing the dinner, and turned to him. He looked like he was about to cry, you didn't want this.

"Yes, Merriel Allesandro Shelton." Merriel looked at you surprised; you smiled, holding back your tears. "You're his father, Merriel."

Merriel chin trembled, and some tears were forming in his eyes. The prettiest and happiest smallest smile formed in his lips.

[ • ]

Allesandro was grounded in his bedroom. After the dinner (the meat and the potato patties were delicious), while you were washing the dishes you suddenly realized how weird that situation was. He brought Merriel to your house, even though Allesandro didn't even know him! Merriel, who was listening to his childish stories and trying to find the most passive way of telling Allesandro that he was the father of your son the same time he was trying to fix Mr. Shelter, realized that after you told Allesandro to go to his bedroom.

Allesandro, grounded in his bedroom, was quietly playing with a wooden car toy he has won from his grandpa in his birthday last year, when he heard in the distance the radio from the living room playing a song.

He was curious about what that radio was doing playing songs so late at the night, so, quietly like a robber, he went out of his room, walked through the corridor and went downstairs silently, like he didn't even existed. Allesandro walked tiptoe in direction to the living room, finally spying inside.

He saw you and Merriel dancing to the melodic voice of Kitty Kallen.

❝Never thought that you would be

standing here so close to me

There's so much I feel that I should say,

but words can wait until some other day❞

Allesandro admired you, his mother, dancing to that strange man so serenely, and smiled.

❝Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long, long time

Haven't felt like this, my dear

Since I can't remember when

It's been a long, long time❞

He hated when he was playing in his room and heard you crying above Mr. Shelter teddy bear calling Merriel's name; he planned it for weeks, making sure to find that man you loved so much just to see you happy. And now he realised: he did a good job bringing his daddy back home, even though he got grounded in the end and costed to the poor Mr. Shelter an arm. But making you happy while you're dancing with Merriel made those things look meaningless.

❝You'll never know how many dreams

I've dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you

So kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long... long time...❞

#snafu #merriel shelton #merriell shelton #merriel shelton imagine #merriel shelton x reader #rami malek imagine #ma boi rami malek #rami malek #snafu deserved better #snafu imagine #snafu x reader #rami malek x reader #kiss me once then kiss me twice then kiss me once again its been a long timeee #this song is my jam god #kitty kallen #l0user #5 years #i hate putting gifs on tumblr holy mother

[mageejoseph]

In preparing this work, it has grown much beyond the author’s original design.

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[artist-kid-12]

Chapter 1 a life after.

After all the running after the travelling after all the chaos and madness finally the huddle was free and the child could rest, well so he thought. A piece of sunlight hit the boy’s face. (What is that?) The boy slowly but carfuly crawls towards the sunlight and then... he falls in the sand with face first. (Ow..) The boy mumbled. He looks up to see the sunlight shinning on him. He feels a warm emotion. A sense of hope. He smiles but not for long. Then he realized what happened. He turns his back to see the huddle laying on the ground. He still thinks that they are alive. (Guys we did it we escaped!) He said, but the huddle didn’t say or do anything. (Guys come on don’t be silly) But still no answer. The child starts to panic. He grabs one of the huddles arms but.. nothing happens.. just... silence. (Y- you are not coming back are you?’) He says in a shaking voice. (I have done what i promised you.. i have freed you but.. WHAT ABOUT ME! WHAT AM I SEPPOST TO DO NOW?!) Still no response. The child hugs the huddle one last time and walks away in tears. He realises that a forest is ahead of him. (What now?)

After walking around the forest he notices clothes on the ground. He picks one of them up. There is a white T-shirt and white shorts-underwear thing. He takes them on and walks away at least happy that he found some clothes to wear. It starts to get darker and darker until it is night time. Then he saw something in the distance. A light? A flashlight! He ran towards the light to see what it was. He hid behind a tree and watched. There were two men in masks. They were talking. Accidentally the child got a little bit to close and stept on a stick that caused the two men to look back at him. The child panicked and ran. The two men did the same. But unfortunately the child forgot to watch his steps and tripped over a stick and fell into a water pit. The man the grabbed the child and held him tight. Then they looked at each other. The child’s eyes were yellow as the yellow wires and the man was wearing a mask so the child couldn’t see what his eyes looked like. The other man was running in the back and said (Hey wait for me!) Then the man holding the child whispered and said (play dead) The child said (what?) The man said it again (play dead, kid! I won’t let him hurt you. But you have to trust me) The child looks at him and dose exactly that. The other man in the back than says

Man, good job! Now let’s take this bastard to our boss.

No.

What?

I said no.

Why not?!

Because, look at him he is innocent. He only watched us and he is a child. You bastard!

Okay, okay let’s just take him to the camp and we’ll see what he is up too.

...

A moment of silence and they all walk away. They soon reach a house where they tie the child into a chair. Everyone glares at each other. Then the man in the back from before said (I’m gonna make a phone call too the boss, leave you to alone.) He shuts the door. The child and the man who grabbed him before stared at each other. Then the man sits down on another chair and says (Where are you from?) The child doesn’t answer. (Are you alone?) Still no answer from the child. (Where are you’re parents? Do they live around here?) The child still doesn’t say anything. The man gets irritated and yells (ANSWEAR THE GOD DAMM QUESTION!) A moment of silence between the two. Then the other man walks in. Then the child snaps and the yells (YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH! YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO ALMOST DIE! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE USED AS A TOOl!) The child starts to cry in stress. Everyone stares at each other. Then the man that came in walks out again. Now it is just the child and the man that helped him. The man then walks closer to the child and untie him and then hugs him. The man whispers (it’s okay.. you don’t have to answear anything now) Then the man says

My name is Hansi what’s you’re name?

.. i don’t have one...

Hmm... fine then I’ll make one.. maybe.. wait!.. no.. oh i know.. De.

De?

Yes De. De means (them) on Norwegian.

De? De i like it.

They smiled at each other for a while before the other man came in and said. (Come on let’s go and get this boy to where he belongs!) They get into a truck and then drives away. The other man drives and Hansi sits in the back of the truck with De. Then De’s worst nightmare comes true. It’s the lab. The lab where madness was born. De tried to tell Hansi but then he blacket out.

The next thing De knew was that everything was black and that he had a nightmare. De was running away from something. He was scared. Then a syringe was shot into his chest. Then he woke up sweating and shaking. It felt real.. it felt so real. He looked up and saw Hansi sitting beside him. Then De said

W-what happen?

Well.. we reached the lab and then the doctors took you into a room and i then heard screaming. I ran into the room and saw the doctors put a syringe into you.

Oh.. okay..

What happened to you. Why are you sweating?

I had a nightmare..I was running.. I was scared.. a syringe was shot right through me..

Did it hurt?..

Yes..

A lot?

A lot..

Dose it still hurt?

No..

Sit here.

Hansi makes De sit on his lap. After a few minutes later De and Hansi falls asleep.

I hope you enjoy the comic! I have waited years to make this!

#inside by playdead #de #hansi #huddle #inside a life after

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

OC Nina Cerasus deep dive part 2.

Meet my OC from my Star-crossed story. (She is a young woman living in her early twenties on Naboo. The time period is before the Phantom Menace.) I already made a short list about her. This is a little more deeper and collected. I hope you enjoy knowing her and like her as much as I do. Sorry for any mistype or bad English this is not my first language. I made a mood board about how I imagine her, the pictures are from Pinterest.

have they / would they dye their hair? she is a natural dark chocolate brunette, maybe she would add some colorful highlights 

do they maintain eye contact when talking? definitely

what is their tell for lying? a small movement, she picks her right pinky finger.

do they have an accent? she speaks in Nabooan dialect, also, she has a raspy seductive voice. People often ask her if she has a sore throat. Sometimes she sounds out of breath because of her illness. 

what languages do they speak? basic, binari (droid), kenari, 

what kind of music do they listen to? alternative/ acoustic/classic piano, also I think she would like Lana del Rey, Hozier and Mitski

describe them in one word. What could happen to make them the opposite? Abandoned. / Stay by.

do they have any ghosts? yes, her mom died, her dad left, and Maul broke her heart 

what is their worst fear? left alone, die alone, being forgotten

what is a secret they do not tell anyone? she has a few:

That her relationship was with Maul (in my Star-crossed fic)  

She was there when her mom died. 

She was the one who unveiled her fathers frauds and thefts and sent him to jail. It's her revenge. 

what motto do they live by? Ad astra per aspera. - Through hardships to the stars.

if they were a famous figure, who would they be? she was inspired by many characters from movies or books, also from my own life, but if I have to say some concrete examples it would be Amal Clooney's and Dakota Johnson's dressing style, a lot of inpo comes from Ellie Saab and Zuhair Murad gowns. And Sofia Bush's voice.

Also she got her name from my highscool bff called Nina. (She passed away a few years ago sadly due to a car accident.) So it's like a memorial thing to name my oc of her. A few of her personality traits, her freckles and silly moments also given to my character that remind me of my friend. And the green eyes my oc has is coming from me.

personality: the constant fear of being abandoned, having trust issues and the feeling of never being good enough. And she is trying to be the best version of herself by working hard and passionately. She fears to show out her real emotions or build connections, especially romantic ones. 

what great moment shaped them to be who they are? Have they lived through the moment yet? 

discovering her heart disease

when her mom got sick her dad left them and made his own family

Maul choose revenge over her and left in the Phantom Menace, she thinks he just left and used her, she never knew he was the sith assassin till my Heavenbound fic

her grandma’s first accident, then her hospital rest time

Wolffe’s love changed her, healed her and made her trust him and believe in love

what is their fatal flaw? fear of abandonment and trust issues makes her make bad decisions

how do they feel about jewelry? painted nails? she likes celestial themed or rare, personalized dainty jewelry

she gets her nails done soft almond shapes, and always decorated with stars and moons and use sparkly nail polish

what kind of art are they? astrophile as a hobby, art deco as a style, romanticism as paintings and mythological in sculptures and a femme fatale archetype in movies/novels

do they play a sport? weekly pilates lessons and dancing in clubs

do they have a speech impairment? how would that translate across paper? she is well spoken, and intelligent. Also her voice is raspy but in a seductive way.

what could you do to betray their trust? lying 

what makes them smile? acts of kindness and gentleness, paying attention to her little things, also the starry sky, and her loved ones

if you had to choose something to make them go all john wick, who would it be? to protect her loved ones

do they swear? in what language? yes in basic mostly

how comfortable do they feel around strangers? she tries to seem calm and collected being in charge of the conversation, but she usually assesses and judges their gestures and researches their back intentions

are they extraverted or introverted? introverted 

do they stand straight? what is their posture like? straight and hard like a ballerina's posture

what is their sleep schedule like? when she has time after work on mini power naps on rare occasions, she’s more insomniac workaholic

would they consciously invade someone else's body space? even a stranger's? always holds a decent distance, except when she flirts

how do they feel about contact with other people? do they flinch? she doesn’t like touchy people and only hugs her loved ones

are they the first to hug? never (exception if when she hugs Maul)

what would make them kill / stop them from killing? her morals, she wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose and she avoids physical harm

how do they smile? do they have dimples? yes she has smaller dimples, and in her apples and on her chin, and it makes her diastema visible

what about their teeth -- braces? sharp teeth? dentures? yellow teeth? what about spots? hers are white and straight but she has diastema (a big space between her two front teeth)

how do they get others' attention? clear their throat? punch them? clears her throat,

do they talk with their hands? sometimes

what is their final goal? building her home, having a family and feeling safe

how would they describe happiness? being with the people she can trust and love, under the bright starry night admiring the comets

what is their biggest conflict? it doesn't need to be big for everyone else, only for them. 

she needs to learn to let others in and be open for love

it’s hard for her to understand that Wolffe is loves her and doesn’t have the intention to leave her

also letting go Maul, she never knew who he truly was and her ideal about him got shattered in my Heavenbound fic, she had a hard time learning the truth letting her feelings go and having a closure, after she meets him on Mandalore

how do they react to death? seel super sad, and isolate herself 

do they cry? how do they cry ? in silent tears, or sobbing and screaming in pain, but she is not a crybaby. she suppresses it and have “episodes” of panic attacks she refers to as“inner storms”

how do they react when someone else is crying? can they comfort a stranger? she tries to give some sort of solution or comfort, she is empathetic

how are they around pets? are they allergic to any? she is allergic to tooka cats, she loves wolves 

following up, do they have allergies? to some pollens, and tooka cats

do they take off their shoes going into a stranger's house? would they offer to do the dishes? she offers to help cleaning up

do they call strangers by their first name or title? she is a professional lawyer so she calls people on their title/ titled name or accost

how do they show fear? trying to hide it? shaking? etc. she tries to hide it and acting calm and collected, try to show out her fearlessness, her voice is tremble and she shake's lightly

what is their impact on other characters? she usually gives the impression of a beautiful, clever, well spoken intelligent women who is very elusive and cunning

how could any of these change by the end of the story? we can see her softened up and warm hearted true self in the end of Heavenbound, she heals her traumas from Starcrossed, lets go of her past and builds her own family. She learns to trust and she dies while she is defending others. 

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

let me know if you would like to be added!

#meet my oc #nina nerasus #oc nina cerasus #nika's writing #star-crossed the fic #maul and nina #if you have questions i am so happy to answear them #character deep dive #OC info dump #OC info #my oc nina cerasus #my oc #maul x nina #heavenbound the fic

[gatesofmyimagination]

I dont care what outfit they put Jason in (okay I kinda do a little) the real question is: IS HE GETTING HIS HAIR BACK??? 😭 Seriously, what is with DC and giving the batboys that awful haircut. It doesn’t work for them. I haven’t seen it on Dick (sorry R I C K) yet, but I have heard the legends and they are not good

honestly i think in nightwing the art is still gorgeous. hair is one thing, the whole character another. dick - i am not calling him rick - still looks like himself imo which proves my point if the artist is good he or she (but mainly he) can do justice to the character no matter what. unfortunately this isn’t the case with the new artist on rhato (again imo). he just made jason a completely different character. idk who he is drawing but it isn’t jason. and again i am not talking about the hair or the clothes. it’s the whole appearance. fanartist made jason’s new look to feel like jason. i really don’t like the clothes but at least it feels like jason when fanartist draw him. not in the main book.

if you saw the three jokers design he has hair so answearing to your question; yes he’s getting his hair back. (and he will be drawn by jason fabok - i love the guy’s art so i am happy so far.)

#ask #anon

[leslie-red]

The Damaged boy chapter 4

Two clowns and a puppet

Mona is dead...He feel so alone again..Until these strange mens come to him for something good or bad ?

He hear some steps,just across from him,He straightens up abruptly,staying near Mona's body.What he's gonna do ? Leaving her here,on this sidewalk alone,letting what it remains from her,decompose over time ? Steps get close and he hear some groans and cries.Men crying.They are two.One of them is big,thin,black hair,wearing a black jacket and brown pants.The other one is more short,a little fat,but dressing in the same way.He move back suddenly,staring them bemused.Who are they ?

" Oh lord poor her...Poooor Mona...Do you realize Al ? The other man nobbed quickly,groaning more and more.He is find them so weird "Do...You know her ? " Knew her he should said he know that.But he can't.She is still here. " Oh yes of course..Everyone knew Mona,this so sweet lady.Right Al ? " This Al doesn't say anything,he just keep to cry.Like a big baby. " She didn't say anything about you.She said she felt alone,that she was alone..Both of you should have help her. " He doesn't know these men,but he feel so much anger that he try to control. " We have just enough for ourself..But god we really wanted to help her...Right Al ? " " Oh yes ! Terribly ! we are so sorry ! " Al's face become pink from crying. He doesn't move,standing before them,watching them,confused. " Me and Al we are so glad that a boy like you,so gentle,stayed with her.You are brave...Oh my name is Clive and him.." " Al..I know thank you. " " And you my boy ? "Always the first thing human do want to know.His so called-name.Why ? Because it's polite,natural to ask ? None human can't live without a name ? The truth is,he doesn't hide it anymore.Especially to these two clowns.He is not embarrassed : " I don't have name. " Clive put his hand on his mouth,shocked : " Really ? We can give you one if ... " No,no..I don't really need to have one.Others hu..People used to call me " Boy "..." Kid "..Things like that.Obviously." Or puppet.... " This is soo sad poor boy.No name,and sorry about that also.." Clive designate his stump,while this Al look at it very discreetly like he was a guinea pig." Now i understand why you and Mona were friends..Accident ? " Why all these questions,he really expect from me to answer so easily,his eyes are so wide waiting really my answer.For none reason,i do..I answer : " Malformation " .Clive keep to be really curious : " And your eyes they...." " I am..What i am. " He try to stay now calm and patient.They are just a little stupid not necessarily mean.No like this drunk. " This is so cruel ! No left hand,no name..Almost Blind !" Yes...Really stupid.Clive take a tissue and blow his nose.In fact he wonder if he is really the most " malformed " of the three of them.This situation is more strange with Mona..Still dead with them.What is missing now is a post-mortem photo.He feel so bad now with this mordid thought. " It's soo cold here...I mean i talk about this cold night not the cold body.." He feel like pain in his fake chest : " Respect her please." Clive raise his hands alerted : " I do.I swear it brave boy.Tell me..You can't stay here in the cold alone now that..I mean don't be...Alone." That's sure,they don't know what he is really.What he's gonna to do with these mens..He was good with..Her.Mona. " We can't leave her here " She is dead,she doesn't need anything.Not anymore.But this is just disdain to leave the one who was so kind with him.Clive take a deep inspiration and exhale : " Indeed.We can't but we will,because i remember,she told to us one time " This place is her home and she wanted to die here because it's was peaceful after..Her so awful life. " He look at her,totally sad and pained.She is the first person toward he feel compassion.He learned to feel it.Clive claim in a dramatic way : " Poor boy we're gonna take care for you,you can't stay alone in the cold,go with us to our favorite coffee shop ! He can't say the fact to stay with these idiots make him really glad.But he remember , he must discover.learning. " Well..I don't drink." " You'll have hot chocolate ! Clive smile cheerfully with his big eyes. " Are you agree...Al ? " " Oh yes ! The kid stay with us and....We stay with him and....I'm hungry." " Well let's go ! " Clive salute Mona : " Rest in peace dear Mona. " Al do the same thing,without any word,fastly and go join Clive.Him...He stay with her..Just for some few seconds.He won't ever see her again.Ever...Ever.Ever is a horrible word. He raise his head and look at the moon.He don't know why he say that.But he does : " I hope she is with you.Take care for her.And listen to her "

Clive and Al take him to " The black Aquarium " where the decoration is amazing.So much light on the walls like dark blue,purple,even some pink.People seems also really nice when he see their smile and hear their laugh.Now he wish stay here.Also some jazz music are played.This is the first time he hear this sound.This is particular.A sound expressing emotions,like it's alive.Cocking his head,he watch his hot chocolate's mug,Clive drink his coffe,while Al eat a really big ice cream.He heard a lighter noise and see Clive smoking : " I have two reasons why i love this place,we can smoke and..There is so beautiful women." " This is not good for you...The smoke.." " When i'll die my boy,i'll still have a cigarette in my mouth..Here ! Look at this pig and his sweets ! He put his life in danger,he will surely die from obesity but still..He loves eating.This life is the only one we have.Enjoy it.C'mon drink your hot chocolate.Savor." Savor...How can i...I can't drink..And yet,this man still wait i do drink it.Something can happen to me if i drink this thing.But it's smell so good. He take then the risk,touching the mug with his only hand,very slowly.It's very hot but he staring at this beverage like hypnotized.He close his eyes,pouring the liquid in his mouth.This is so soft,hot,so delicious,he feel like floating on clouds.He can drink.He doesn't need it but he can.He drink then really fastly. " Easy boy,don't burn your tong.Enjoy it,don't do the same thing like this idiot next to me..Because you are a idiot..Right Al ? " Al answear,full mouth : " Oh yes ! I'm a idiot but i'm so happy right now ! " He put his mug in the table,with some milk in the corner of his mouth,and wipe his face.Delicately.Like a wise boy. " It's was so good..Food and hot chocolate are good things right ? in this world." " Of course ! And not only that ! And c'mon...Are you happy with us ? " He nod slowly.In fact he is not completly happy to be with them.Clive can be very strange,and Al...Is a idiot.None conversation with him is possible.But he doesn't want to be alone..Not after Mona.Beside this place is so comforting. " I have a idea ! we could go visit...." Clive look at Al with a little smile " Adelma ! " Al stop to eat ,expressing his joy : " Adelma !! Really ?? " Clive reply,clenched teeths : " Yes it was planned don't you remember ? But we have a little surprise for her now. She will be so pleased. What do you think ? " " I think..She will ! " He didn't say anything . He doesn't know what to thinking clearly.He is invited at unknow woman's place..By them.Should he accept it ? " Who is Adelma ? Is she nice like Mona ? " Mona.....Mona...Just Mona in his mind." " Adelma is like a mother to me and Al.She is really devoted my boy.And you need a mother." " A mother ?...I don't know how it feel to have one.." He whisper these words looking lost. " Such sad life..But it will change now.No street anymore,no cold and dark night anymore.You'll see,Adelma will take care of you,like she did for us.And you wouldn't think we'll leave you alone.Are you ready ? " He doesn't have choice anymore.He feel like disiorented,he is new in this world and everything change so fastly.He's gonna to see a mother.He did not think spend his first night like that.Meet already so many people.So he can be more confident with himself.Life is full of surprise..Right ?

Ao3link

#The damaged boy #chapter 4 #dark disney #pinocchio #story #dark story #fiction #ao3 #ao3 update #read it #my story #my writing

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

About Nina Cerasus’s illness the HCM

I mentioned in most of the chapters in Star-crossed and in Heavenbound (they both my fic you can read them here) that she has an illness that causes her character to have some plotlines and complexity. 

It is actually a rare disease in real life, and not many know about it, so I decided to make an extra post to share some extra info about it. Let’s dig in!

About HCM: 

It’s a type of heart disease called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM). 

It basically causes the heart muscles to thicken, which in turn makes it more difficult to pump blood through the body’s system. HCM is a heart disease that can affect how effectively the heart can pump blood.

HCM is autosomal dominant condition, meaning that individuals have a 50% chance of inheriting, or passing on, the predisposition to this disorder to their children. (Nina inherited from her father Felix who already had a heart transplant surgery.)

What is it like to live with a disease like this? 

The symptoms that Nina exhibits include shortness of breath, chest pain, and a propensity for fainting or feeling dizzy. There’s also a heightened risk of heart failure or sudden cardiac death. Also the medications she needs to take, make her often have a cold nose, hands and feet. 

People with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) will benefit from a heart-healthy diet. This includes a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains and low in added sugar, sodium, and trans and saturated fats.

So Nina usually eats a very healthy balanced meal.

Making lifestyle changes such as exercising more, quitting smoking, and avoiding alcohol are beneficial. However, if you have HCM you should speak with a doctor before increasing your physical activity. The recommendation for people with HCM is to avoid high-intensity exercise since it can worsen symptoms. This is why Nina has pilates classes with Master Plo, and meditating classes.

About drinking coffee or other caffeinated drinks, always talk to your cardiologist! Because  caffeine is a stimulant that affects everyone differently. If you are living with HCM, know how the foods, beverages, and supplements you consume could affect your heart rhythm.

Like alcohol, caffeine can also cause dehydration, which can worsen the symptoms of HCM. Ask your doctor about caffeine and what levels of coffee, soda, tea, and other caffeinated products are safe for you to drink.

I made Nina a tea girlie. 

Women with HCM generally tolerate pregnancy well. The risk is however higher in women who are symptomatic before pregnancy or in those with severe left ventricular outflow tract obstruction. The incidence of arrhythmias does not appear to be increased during pregnancy and maternal mortality is low. But I made Nina make the decision to not have her own biological baby, and choose adoption instead in the Heavenbound storyline.

Author's Note: 

I have to say that people with this kind of disease can live a normal life.

But I slightly overemphasized Nina's illness at certain points for dramaturgical reasons.

For example, hyperspace travels take a toll on her, if she doesn't receive certain treatment beforehand. This idea came from the fact that all travel can be physically stressful for us, so traveling in space and hyperspace jumping can certainly have an even greater effect on a person, and there is also space radiation. Thus, Nina must receive a certain vitamin cocktail injection in my story before the trip. This is, of course, fiction!

Nina avoids alcohol, smoking and caffeine-based drinks mostly. In her early 20's and party years she drinks and occasionally smokes, and quits it after receiving some bad news of her health.

She drinks mint tea. She exercises often and takes the necessary medications despite the side effects. She chose not to have a baby because she does not want to pass on this disease and is also afraid of death caused by childbirth.

I also wanted to show the emotional side of what it's like to live with this type of illness. In Star-crossed fic I have written many emotions based on my own experiences. (Not everyone accepts this disease with such feelings, of course it happens differently for everyone.) But in Nina's point of view - even if it was a little exaggerated - I gave her a lot of emotions and memories from my life. 

In the first chapter and several other crisis situations, Nina experiences these  emotional "storms". 

These panic attacks usually happen to her after experiencing trauma. For example, when her mother died or when her father left them. When she found out about her illness and when Maul left her. (all mentioned in Star-crossed fic).It’s basically a panic attack mixed with deep repressed depression bursting out. 

She called these episodes "storms" because just like the rain clouds these episodes end eventually.

Under these episodes she usually feels chest pain, dizziness, nauseous and she can't stop crying for a long time. 

Nina is terribly ashamed of these episodes, she feels weak and vulnerable, which she hates. In such cases, she releases all suppressed anger and sadness by crying. When they are over, Nina is numb and quiet, her mind clears as she rebuilds her armor/or inner world. She represses and buries all the painful memories and thus tries to move on. (The first chapter of Star-crossed is basically an episode of one of her "storm.")

I know I kinda trauma dumped her, but don't feel bad about it. With these illnesses both physical and mental I wanted to give her character some complexity, and some dramatic deep feelings.

She is my character and I wanted to write a character who has the same illness as me. This is a kind of personal coping mechanism for me and I don't want to receive negative comments about it. If you don't like it, or triggered by it then, please move on to another blog and another story.

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

let me know if you would like to be added!

#meet my oc #nina nerasus #oc nina cerasus #nika's writing #star-crossed the fic #maul and nina #if you have questions i am so happy to answear them #character deep dive #OC info dump #OC info #my oc nina cerasus #my oc #maul x nina #heavenbound #nika's personal