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fitzonomy · 6 years

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Comics, Pornography, and Communication: also, a discussion of why *Men* suck.

First, notice how I typed out *Men* up there. It is capitalized. There are asterisks around the word. I don’t describe myself as a “social justice warrior” because the label, to me, signifies lip service, mob mentality, and a lack of critical thinking. Second, notice how I qualified that definition with “to me.” It’s subjective. It’s about my experience with the term and the people who’ve I encountered who use it as an identity. Do I think social justice is bad? No. Do I think wanting social justice, equity, and all those buzz words is wrong? Nope. But do I think the world is mostly grey areas? Heck golly gosh, I do.

*Men* (to me) is meant to signify major societal trends, norms, and expectations that are grounded in patriarchal, misogynistic, and ableist rules, environments, and scripts that are written for *Men,* by *Men,* between *Men,* and with *Men.* *Men* are those who think the world works a certain way, so suck it up because that’s just the way the world is. *Men* (In. My. Experience.) have zero interest in critical thinking unless it is done so in a way that benefits them and other Men. Often times, *Men* engage in the lowest threshold of critical thinking or want to employ rhetorical techniques/classical logic to whatever is being discussed. *Men* is not limited to cis-men. This is important but not relevant to the following discussion. I’M ONLY GOING TO BE DISCUSSING AMERICAN COMICS. YES, I KNOW THE FIRST RECORDED SUPERHERO COMIC WAS MADE IN THE 1800s SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE. So, let me tell you that this entire position that I’m about to present is NOT about:

1. The history, merit, or discussion of why Comix (different from comics, for historical reasons) is important. Underground Comix is important for many reasons. There have been dissertations written on the subject. I’m not about to do that here. 2. Whether or not the goal of satire was/is achieved with Underground Comix. 3. Whether Underground Comix is “problematic.” I.e. was/is it sexist, ableist, racist, bigoted, and whatever other problems they could have. Again, another dissertation topic. Again, again, aaaagain: this is about my individual experience working in a comic book shop. Don’t act like I’m drafting a treatise on some objective truth that’s floating aimlessly around in a vacuum. Go watch Netflix. Eat pizza. This isn’t that deep. It’s me griping about things from a particular point of view. Some background: I’ve worked at a comic book shop in a small, midwestern city for almost five years now. The shop has been here going on over 20+ years. It’s the only game in town when it comes to comic books. Historically, this wasn’t the case but other shops didn’t adapt so, uh, they died off. Comics is a strange business to be in because while it is technically a bookshop, the industry came from a place of fun and general absurdity that was meant to be throwaway material for kids (especially the target market, young boys) to waste money on (hence, why Golden Age stuff, any of it really, is usually worth a little something--the newsprint wasn’t meant to be durable, so kids would throw them away, use it for drawing paper, etc.). Comics had been around before the Golden Age, but yanno, it’s called a Golden Age for a reason--it is the era in which comics became introduced as “suitable” for mainstream consumer consumption. I mean, we could argue on other reasons but that’s neither here nor there. Comic books, graphic novels, and comic strip utilize sequential art. Sequential art is a specialized term. Within the definition itself, the requirement of narrative is implicitly built into the term. There is no room for debate here. If a story is not being told, a body of work can be classified as art but it is not sequential. Art can tell a story, sure, but a square is a rectangle but a rectangle isn’t a square. I run into a wide variety of people because of the strangeness of the product we sell. We’ve got readers (like myself), we’ve got collectors, we’ve got beginner readers, we’ve got artists (like me), we’ve got writers (like me), and we’ve got people who “haven’t been to a comic store in ages and, boy!, is it sure different than when I was young!” And, yes, we have the certified perverts. Once, I found out one of our customers was a registered child sex offender. I politely told my boss that if the person in question wasn’t banned from the store, I was quitting. As with all stores, as times change, so does business practice. One must adapt to the changes that are happening around them or they have to have a big enough, steady clientele to support them. This comic book shop, in particular, did not and does not have a large enough, regular clientele base that spends enough money for us to keep doing things the way it always had been. These are just facts. In the past, this store was ran in such a way that it was a dying business but the current owner would put their own money into it in order to keep it afloat. At that time, the store allowed some subscribers (note: to my knowledge, all cis-gender men) to order exclusively from publishers like Boundless Comics (publisher who specializes in “sexy, cool comics for adults”) with no advance payment. Which means if they never came to pick up their stuff, we were stuck with the responsibility to sell it because, well, we already paid for it. I don’t think I have to make a Venn diagram to convince anyone that the overlap between deadbeats (for our subscription service--basically, we never heard from someone ever again) and these men was pretty much two circles just a bit off-center from one another. These were not comics we could put out to be sold because they never would be. In over 20 years, our numbers have shown that Adult/XXX/Mature comics don’t sell well off the rack regularly. We do have one or two customers back from Ye Olden Days who still have subscriptions to mature comics, but they never look around. They never try out something new. They buy the comics they ordered because they wouldn’t get them any other way. Both of them are strongly against buying things on the internet, so my guess is we’re they’re only option. I wasn’t around during the time in which “boxes were kept under the counter” for “special comics.” Today: About a month ago, an older man (because all of the customers who ask for the “boxes under the counter” are older) came into the store. He looked around. He came up to the counter and asked me where the Underground Comix were. I showed him where we kept our collection of Underground Comix. He said that wasn’t what he was looking for. Did we have the “boxes under the counter.” Now, understand, I’ve been told about all of this because we don’t have it anymore but I needed to know the store’s history. Fair. I told him that we do not and have not in many years. But, when people ask me for Those Boxes, I know what they’re asking for. Not all of it was satirical Underground Comix. So, they usually stumble when I tell them that, no we don’t. This guy stumbled. I could assume a number of reasons as to why he did so, but it really doesn’t do any good. So, I try to ask a number of questions to find something else they might like to try. The conversation goes like this: Me: Are you looking for a comic or graphic novel with explicit sexual content? Him: Yes. Me: Okay, I can definitely suggest Saga and Sex Criminals.

At this point, I pull out the first trades of both and show the explicit sexual content in both. I mention the art, the story, and the writing. Sequential art is divided into four elements: design, drawing, caricature, and writing. Design, drawing, and writing are usually the most salient elements to a lay reader. Caricature has a lot to do with symbolic representation--how does one exaggerate an element of X in order to represent X? But some people lay people are interested in this element because of the comical effect it can play in a comic story. Him: No. Not like that. Me: What is missing from this then? Him: Something more adult. Me: Would you like explicit sexual content with more graphic violence? Him: Yeah, that sounds about right. Me: Okay, I’ve got Crossed.

!WARNING WARNING WARNING! THE LINK I’VE PROVIDED IS TO THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE WHICH IS ABOUT THE TAMEST RESOURCE FOR WHAT CROSSED IS THAT I KNOW OF. DO NOT LOOK INTO THIS COMIC IF EXTREME VIOLENCE, GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT, INCEST, BESTIALITY, RAPE, BLASPHEMY OF RELIGIONS, AND A WHOLE HOST OF OTHER THINGS REMOTELY BOTHER YOU. NOT EVEN TRIGGER--REMOTELY. BOTHER. So, yeah, I feel like I’d picked out a good contender considering. Him: No. Not like this. But, hey, wanna know something about Crossed? Everybody is a target for wanton humiliation, suffering, and all sorts of horrible things! Is this something I’m praising? No. It’s just a fact of the comic. And an important fact to know when guy says to me: Him: Well, the old Underground Comix I used to read were more sophisticated with the satire, like the sex in it was about humor with having sex with women. Me: So, you’re looking for comics about humorous sexual encounters that are also explicit? And as I start suggesting comics, he interrupted. Him: No, not like that. More like... *he pulls out a Robert Crumb collection we have and thumbs through it* that. The funny stuff, yanno? The picture in question (I won’t link it, because it is upsetting, as will be my description of it) is just in Crumb’s style--pretty distinctive--and it’s one panel of a skinny, naked man with a sizeable erection. He’s bent over backwards, his hips bent such that his back is practically parallel with the floor of the drawing and his erection (which, if I recall correctly is something like 1/5-1/6 of the height of the page) is pretty close to perpendicular with the floor. One of his hands is wrapped around a nude woman’s throat, the drawing exaggerating the woman’s body parts as if she were being squeezed through tube--the head is ballooned and her neck stretches out to her shoulders. her arms are ramrod straight leading down to outstretched hands. Her legs are equally straightened, bent ninety degrees at the hips. There are motion lines to indicate that the man is forcibly shoving the woman onto his dick over and over again. By her throat. He’s got a pretty happy expression. She does not. Please, read the part where I explain what this thing I’m writing is NOT. Because it is a grey area if you know enough about history and context. Divorced of context, it’s pretty disgusting. I’ll just say that outright. So, if we use the four elements of sequential art to think about what story is being told and how it’s being told, there are things I can understand. The design is good (lots of sharp angles). The caricature is good (Crumb is great with exaggerated forms, whether I like his style or not is irrelevant). The drawing is in Crumb’s style which I can understand why people like his art. So, that leaves the writing. It is wordless but there’s still a story being told. Me and this guy were have a disconnect about what kind of story he wanted to read. Cut to today, about a month after this. It seemed like he hadn’t internalized anything we’d gone over because he had similar questions. At one point, he finally picked up a book and bought it. Which led me to writing this humongous post for the last four hours (it’s been busy today!). Because the guy wasn’t asking for pornography. I’ve definitely straight up told people before we don’t sell pornographic material here. Besides, how we define porn depends on the era. To me, I define it as material that was created with the intention to arouse, stimulate, and to be used as an aid for sexual activity AND someone wants to consume it for said purposes. But, that’s not a definition that would fit all pornographic material. The guy was (again, my perspective. Why I have to keep saying that is important here in a moment) asking for satirical material where misogyny was humorous. Now, if you were to ask him to communicate what he wanted, I guess good luck on getting that answer. I’ve tried. I don’t think he could, to be quite honest because that’s how *Men* are (hey! I used it again). This guy is a *Man* and his answers to me when I probe are, “How it used to be, just how things are,” and the like. The comic book industry is usually fraught with the same problems regular prose books are, the big topics being censorship and purity politics. It’s not as bad as, let’s say, the 1960s and 1970s but there are still problems. Even books for readers of all ages come under scrutiny and are banned from some libraries and schools (Raina Telgemeier’s Drama, for example). To censor any material is a very murky grey area for me. To say that someone cannot create material because it contains material that I am not comfortable with is even murkier because, usually, I’m presented with these hypotheticals in the form of loaded questions (”So, have you stopped bad habit X?” which doesn’t allow me to engage in how I qualify my own habits); complex questions (”What is the legal age of consent to sexual activity?” assumes a LOT of things about legality, age of consent, consent, and sexual activity without consideration to context, to say the least); false dilemmas, suggestive questions, leading questions, and... *takes a deep breath* *exhales* Listen, there’s just a lot of things that make a lot of issues super murky and grey for me. That’s not to say I don’t have opinions and personal/societal biases that sway me toward one end or the other of a polemic (I’m human. We all do it).

When I say, “I hate *Men,*” it is hatred directed towards the skewed power dynamics and socialization that I’m cemented into (through no consent or fault of my own), that allows a *Man* to think (without a second thought) about showing someone the picture I described and not worrying about what he’s communicating. About what the comic is communicating. Let’s pretend that he knows the historical context and importance of Underground Comix. How does he know that I know those things? I mean, I do, but this guy doesn’t know that. “But, Ash!” you argue. “You literally asked him to show you an example!” My friend, there’s no shortage of Underground Comix either from Crumb himself or in similar style that showcases supposedly satirical humor where “battle of the sexes” comes into play. To show someone that image with no knowledge of what the other person knows is a little dicey imho But it sucks! I have to be okay with him showing me that! I asked for an example and I got it. In his mind, it was a smooth communicative exchange. Request for information? Information given! Because of *Men,* I have to watch the way I approach wanting to talk about this subject because I might become “emotional” or I might be accused of, gasp, showing bias! (Newsflash: we’re humans. WE ALL HAVE BIASES. If you aren’t willing to talk about and challenge them then THAT’S a problem. Another story for another day, I digress). And it’s a shame because I know this *Man* isn’t wanting to consume stories where rape is funny because he’s interested in engaging with content that is historically important but because it was created in the context of some socially-acceptable horrible crap there’s some interesting discussion to be had. No, my bet is the thought process looks like: “Heh. Yeah, I know that feeling. Sometimes you just want to have a girl ride you but she just doesn’t know how to slam that pussy down right, so you gotta help her!” “lol yeah sometimes you just wish pussy would magically work your dick into oblivion without you having to worry about the woman that’s attached to it! am I right, y’all?” laugh out loud satire right there someone give me my own netflix show (watch someone take this section out of context sigh) And, honestly, I don’t know where I’m going with this. I didn’t have a thesis or anything. Just me rambling. RIP moblrs

#long post #rip those of you on mobile #ash talks comics #it gets graphic #trigger warnings all around #in abundance #I mention #rape cw #violence cw #basically

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blufeniix · 7 years

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some questions about your dnd cleric, if you don't mind. she is a half elf, correct? has her issue cleared up yet? and if its not rude, could i ask what has happened during your campaign so far?

Diantha Alcyone ,or Dia, is indeed a half-elf! Trouble is, she doesn’t know which parent was what (her surname is not her parent’s surname, but given to her by the Head Mother of the orphanage she was raised in). She’s an orphan who was left in the City of Light, Illumina, and was brought up with basically the options of being a Cleric or a Paladin, and ended up becoming a Cleric.

And sadly, no, her issue of “You have one month of not letting anyone know anything is wrong or else your head explodes” has not been cleared up, mostly because some things came up and we didn’t get a chance to pick up again until tonight (been a month, give or take). EDIT: This issue just got cleared up at last nights meet so!!! Yaaay!!

Oh man, what has happened during our campaign so far? Good golly ok, sit back kiddos, cause this is gonna be a DOOZY.

First, let’s get the setting behind everything, and with that the original cast. This is gonna be a bit of a summary of what our DM @herr-doctor gave us; one of our current players were not here for the beginning, and three dropped out earlier in. Which characters join and which leave will be mentioned.

Our campaign takes place on the continent of Erimead. It’s a solid chuck of land surrounded on all sides by a “mysterious” ocean (called such because not many cities or towns are built along the coasts, tales of ancient sea atrocities and what have you).

In the center, give or take, is the capital of Whiteshadow, a bustling melting pot of culture and magic, ruled by kind and benelovent King Guillame Alanus and his family. Whiteshadow is named due to the enormous snow peaked mountain at it’s back, acting as a natural shield from attack from the North.

South of Whiteshadow is the mining town of Kiellen, close to the Dawn Mountains and home of our two past characters Damron and Ranvir. It’s been a WHILE and I don’t recall what Damron and Ranvir were. Human Warlock and Ranger respectively I think? They were also cousins.

Just West of Kiellen is Vox, the last oasis before or after the Singed Sands, an unrelenting desert where if you aren’t killed by the heat or sands, there are plenty of critters to take care of that for you.

Now, to the East of Whiteshadow is the Winterlands, a vast forest of perpetual evergreen and frost, supposedly housing the entrance to the Elemental Plane of Frost.

Towards the Northern peak of Erimead lies the Widowed Plains, a vast expanse of grasslands and plains, home to nomadic tribes of orcs and barbarians who, as one would imagine, do a great deal of roaming and pillaging. In the North-eastern portion of the plains lays what used to be the prosperous town of Illumina, home of the College of Life and Light, culmination of hundreds of years of research into arcane healing. Illumina is Diantha’s home, and Jelani, our half-orc barbarian, once belonged to one of the wandering tribes of the Widowed Plains.

It was Jelani’s tribe that destroyed Illumina and killed a great many, but when faced with a few of his fellows trying to make sport of a elderly woman who would be no challenge Jelani found he was annoyed and killed them. In return, his War Chief Gnoth decided to off Jelani and leave him for dead.

Jelani was lucky Diantha had stumbled upon him, returning from a trip to a near settlement. She witnessed him save the elderly woman (who was the ‘Mother’ of the orphanage she’d been raised in), and decided to save his life. After some talking and travelling, the two decided to join forces in the hunt for Gnoth to get revenge. They ended up becoming best friends along the way.

Our heros, for one reason or another, find themselves in the small settlement of Shale, a pseudo-ghost town with very few inhabitants left, and fewer amenities.

The town used to be a lively settlement, one that exported various earthen materials like cobble, sandstone, and various amounts of metallic elements. Starting about a four months ago, various citizens would seemingly go missing in the night, leaving everything behind. Searches were held, but more and more citizens went missing. Now, after all the affairs, only a fraction of the townspeople remain, comprised of the sick and the elderly, by the time our heroes arrive.

And that’s basically where the campaign starts. The characters are Damron, Ranvir, Diantha, Jelani, a Dragonborn whose name I cannot recall and the read more is broken oops, and Ciaran (a Tiefling Rogue, whose story has not been revealed to us yet).

From here on is going to be a VERY ROUGH summary of our adventures, so bear with me as I type this out. One day I’ll get around to properly writing our little adventure in story form and sharing it.

Shale Arc

The group meets at a bar. Diantha is searching for her companion Jelani, Damron and Ranvir are traveling together taking odd jobs I believe, and honestly I’m not sure what Ciaran was doing at the time. Upon being approached by a man named Gary, the group agrees to go into the graveyard and to the crypt to place his mother’s ashes in the family tomb, because the place is currently overrun by zombies and other ghoulies.

Everyone agrees for various reasons, and heads out. Upon getting underground Dragonborn is found and joins the party, unsure as to why he is there or how he got there. Finally reaching the end, the group finds three Necromancers performing a ritural and using a woman assumed taken from the town as a sacrifice (we were not able to save the woman oops). The mancers are killed and we place the urn with the ashes, then return to town for reward. We can’t find Gary so we go to his home and meet his cousin, who says he was out (meeting someone or something?).

Anyway, we get to the path outside town trying to find this guy, and a Man in a Cloak™ kills Gary and sends a undead Giant after us. Jelani shows up to help (and happily fights the giant as I recall) and Man in Cloak™ leaves after a mysterious warning.

Returning to Shale we inform Gary’s Cousin of Gary’s death and give him some money and some words of comfort before setting out. At this point I believe Ranvir and Dragonborn took their leave from the game due to personal reasons, and so the two were said to have gone off their separate ways from the party.

The party (now consisting of Dia, Jel, Ciaran, and Damron) decides to continue forward (for some reason we were headed to Whiteshadow??? I can’t recall why it’s been so long I think we were all pissed and curious about Man in Cloak ™ ?) and on the way we came to a tower. I don’t believe there was a door, and only one window way way up high. We had to fight some giant spider thing, and were teleported inside. Upon getting inside, we are greeted by an elderly man by the name of Grayden Longbeard (voiced by our DM in a very Sean Connery like voice).

Once everyone is convinced that Grayden is an ok guy, we have a chat, and Grayden tells us about how he has been in the tower for a few hundred or so years, just guarding it for some reason. He tells us that something is indeed wrong, and that we should meet with the King at Whiteshadow. He gives us each an item (Dia recieved a Silver Raven Statuette I recall), and a gold coin to help us through the forest, and we go about our way.

I think this is also when Damron’s player takes his leave, and Damron goes on his own way.

Halloween Special; The Haunted Manor!

SO Halloween came around, and our DM set up a special Halloween episode. On their journey to Whiteshadow it storms, and the party reluctantly decides to take shelter in a old manor. After a bit of exploring they find a couple doors with holes in them where some circle thing should be placed, and a book on a table. A bit of debate over their choices, and realization that Jelani’s muscles and axe couldn’t take down the door to get them out, and Dia opens the book, reading off the first chapter.

The party goes through a cycle of read a chapter, fight a beastie in a dream realm where they CAN die, wake up to have memories erased except for Dia’s, Dia cures them so they can remember, and repeat. Three chapters they go through like this and finally are at a party with many guests. But oddly, no human guests.

The butler warns them to be careful before leaving, and the party gets to watch everyone die from poison in the food and drinks. Going upstairs to finish this, they are met with the lord of the manor, a racist old bastard ghost, who was killed by his butler after killing all of his non-human guests, among other horrible things.

The party finishes the fight, Jelani dealing the finishing blow, and after collecting a few items (I don’t think anyone got anything important except Ciaran, who got Ghost Carver, a odd dagger that, upon dealing the finishing blow to an enemy, takes their soul) they make their leave, watching as the manor begins to burn.

Monty’s Quest Arc (Dia, Jel, and Ciaran)

Upon exiting the forest, the party can see Whiteshadow in the distance. We end up upon a little Imp named Scree who has been chained to a tree in the sunlight, and the poor little guy was left to burn and be tortured basically. With some talking from Ciaran and Dia, Jel pulls the chain from it’s secured place in the ground, effectively freeing Scree. Scree thanks us and takes his leave, gifting Jelani with a stone that is engraved with some letter in Abyssal I think?

After freeing the critter we chase off the asses who put him there, a couple of dudes from Whiteshadow. They decide getting to work on time is more important than fighting us and head off. The party enters the city of Whiteshadow.

The party makes it’s way to the castle to meet with the King, but lo-and-behold, the guards outside the gate are none other than the dicks who chained up poor lil Scree.

It takes a minute of talking, but both parties walk away, deciding a fight in the city isn’t worth it. A man in a cloak approaches us (note it’s not Man in Cloak™), and gives us a card to a place called Monty’s Magnificent Marvels or something along those lines, saying that he can help. (spoilers it’s Monty who gave us the card)

The party head’s to Monty’s and is greeted by a rather… what’s the word, unique individual. Monty is a hoot, full of energy and sass. He says that he can get us in to meet the King, as he is one of the Kings aids and best friend, but for a price. We have to retrieve a Scrying Stone. The stone was sealed deep in some cave system by his Father or Grandfather or something, and he really needs us to get it for him, so we agree and he gives us a orb to use when we’ve found it for him to poof us back to him.

We’re sent into the cave system and wander for a bit before fighting some monster crustation thing (Chuul I think?). After that we wander a bit more, and end up being put to sleep by some Drow (Dia had to be put to sleep some other way than Jel or Ciaran b/c of her elven ancestery but I can’t remember h o w).

Que next meet party wakes up and WHOOPSIE we’re chained up in a dark room and seperated. Jel is at one end, and Ciaran and Dia are at another. Jel is set loose by Scree who shows up thanks to the stone he gave Jel, and after freeing us Scree brings us a few of our items. We fight with the Drow and discover that a burn on Jelani’s arm indicates that he’s been marked to be sold into slavery. Jel demands to know and is rightfully pissed, and thankfully Dia is able to heal the scar completely.

Lots of fighting Drow and Spider-Drow later, and we get to the end of the cave system and meet a friendly little Beholder who was made by Monty’s ancestor to guard the stone. Only, he’s never been inside the building housing the stone behind him, so after a quick talk he lets us in and we discover UH-OH no stone. And some stone creature just kinda. Chillin in the corner? Weird.

Oh and there is a hole in the back of the building leading further down.

After Ciaran and Dia (let’s be honest mostly Ciaran, after the scare with Jelani Dia is Not Herself) talk the poor little beholder down since he thinks he’ll just cease to be, we give him a new mission to keep him alive and! Off he goes!! Explore the world little dude, stay safe!!

After giving the stone creature a bit of gold it gives us one of it’s teeth, and then we go down the tunnel and find some icky fish people who are worshipping some shrine to an evil god. (this SCENE. The ROGUE ROLLS LOW ON STEALTH. THE 4 FOOT 11 HALF ELF FAILS STEALTH. No, no, Jelani, the 8 foot tall half-orc barbarian rolls a Nat 20 on a Stealth Check.).

Dia exhausts herself using a Hold Person on Fish Priest for the full fucking fight, as well as buffing Ciaran and Jel (I ended up using two concentration spells at the same time because none of us…actually realized I was doing it?? oop. DM let it slide tho, and I’ve decided that should it ever come up again Dia will be ‘punished’ with a sort of sickness? She is almost motion-sick and just rough off until she gets a chance to rest), and after getting back the orb we are ported to safety.

Dia almost punches Monty, but the two civilly sort things out (and are p good friends now tbh), and Monty gives the party a card to get us into the castle free and clear! As well as a discount at the shop and payment for our trouble.

Saving the King’s Family Arc

FINALLY getting into the castle to meet the King, the party is faced with a new threat. Enter CSI:VoC, as the party NOW has to look over the rooms of the King, his wife, and their children, to look for clues as to who could have kidnapped the Queen and the children, and where they could have gone.

Jelani mostly stands off to the side observing at this point, while Ciaran and Diantha pass ideas and clues back and forth and manage to figure some stuff out. A monk and a thief/rogue of some type broke in, assumed in the dead of night, and took the Queen and Children some how. With a little asking about we figure out about a location of thieves just outside Whiteshadow, and the party sets out to investigate.

Upon arriving at the location (a single building with a short stone wall surrounding it) late in the night, they notice off the bat that something is a bit odd. The yard has a handful of men patrolling around it. Party decides to stealth around, and Jelani is spotted. He hangs back and plays it off that he’s just some guy wandering around, and manages to get away from the men after talking them down (rather threateningly if I recall).

Diantha and Ciaran make it inside the building, and Dia takes this chance to put her new Raven to the test. She gives it a name (we all decided on Poe since I wasn’t informed I would need a name and command for it before hand), and gives it a message to give Jelani, and a command to lead him back to them.

The party finds two men in cloaks in the top floor, and after knocking them out, Ciaran momentarily gets her hand caught in a Mimic Chest. Sorting that out, the party wakes one of the men and questions him (Dia and Jel fall back on their merc habits), and don’t get a great deal out of him before realizing that (some how *jazz hands*) the other man has crawled away after being right behind them.

Party follows the blood trail he left down into the basement, and has a fight with a Elven Monk, a large Barbarian (goliath I think?), and a couple little dudes. The party cleans up house, and then begins the search for the Queen and the children. Discovering a staircase that leads them further down, they find the children safe and sound, though obviously very frightened. They talk a bit, and after finding out that the Queen has been brainwashed and sent back to Whiteshadow, end up having to rush out with the kids and the one thief from upstairs because WOOPS somehow the building is now burning from the inside.

Everyone makes it out safe, and (Look I’m still pissed over this, I am NEVER FORGIVING DM FOR THIS) Dia sends Poe with a message to beware the Queen ahead of them to Whiteshadow; Poe can mimic her voice and essentially ‘replay’ any message she gives him in her voice. The party travels and OH GOSH WELL POE IS JUST SITTING OUTSIDE (look I’m fuckin BITTER OVER THIS).

The party gets in just in time to get all the civvies outside as the Queen stabs her husband, and then comes to long enough to cut her own throat over the guilt. Diantha uses a healing spell on the King, and with his crown as payment uses a high level revival spell on the Queen (or maybe it was another healing spell??? I can’t recall I like to forget this day tbh) and saves them both.

And that’s how the party of outcasts became the heros of Whiteshadow!

Cthulu Fish Village Arc

Now, you’d think after saving the King and Queen of the Captial City would get you a break from your hero duties, but nah. Following this, the King asks the party to travel to a village and locate the Royal Scholar, who has not contacted them since she headed out to investigate a fishing village.

The party agrees and heads out to the village, which is a good week or so trip even by horse. They make a pit stop in a small town inn, and when they wake up WHOOP Sarenrae (Diantha’s Deity) decided to pick them all up and drop them off in a random building in the fishing village SO thanks for that miss Goddess ma’am RUDE.

The group goes through the town, avoiding most of the fishmen and fighting the ones they couldn’t and making it to the town jail where the Royal Scholar was kept, and a Great White Shark Man Sheriff slept. Ciaran tried to stealth up and steal the keys, but the Shark Sheriff noticed her (he had super high natrual perception I think?) and the fight started. Ciaran nearly got bit in half, but the party beat Shark Sheriff and freed the Scholar who introduced herself (telepathically) as Jadine.

Ciaran gets a crush, and Jadine informs them that there are Bad Things™ goin down, and request’s their help to take care of it. They agree, and the party follows Jadine down below the village to the source of everything; an ancient evil god, very large and very mean, with a couple evil fish men with it.

The party fight it, and Diantha deals the finishing blow, for it’s obvious intent to not repent for it’s crimes, banishing it back to it’s realm.

With that taken care of, the party returns to Whiteshadow with Jadine.

Hunting the War Chief Arc

One thing after another with the party, Jadine tells them of three incidents that need to be investigated. Firstly, a group of barbarians roaming the plains destroying towns and settlements, a forest mysteriously burning and tales of a monster, and an ancient relic.

The mention of the barbarian group, led by a Orc who appears engulfed in flames, catches the attention of Jelani and Diantha, and there is little discussion had before they decide they want to check it out first. Ciaran agrees, having little care where they go either way. Before they leave, Jadine gives Jelani a small red stone, and Ciaran a glossary of monsters (can I google that?). I can’t… recall if or what Diantha received.

And so, once again, the party heads out to the plains. They stop by a settlement first, but it is barricaded and they claim that if the party wants to come in then they’ll have to take the long way around. They agree, and the party passes through the ruins of another town on the way there. Ciaran, who is able to see the ghosts of everyone there thanks to Ghost Carver, swipes a magic lute from one of the homes. In the forest outside the town, late in the night, the party is approached by a priest from the town that was destroyed.

He asks for aid, and Diantha heals his injuries as best she can, and after giving him some food, he goes on his way to the town, to try and put the spirits of those still lost to rest.

The party continues on and come upon another settlement, clearly recently attacked by the barbarians. After a bit of talking they get the people to understand that they are there to help, and begin with the repairs and healing, while trying to plan what they will do when Gnoth and his barbarians return.

During the night, Jelani is dragged away by some kind of wolf-man creature, and ends up ‘killing’ it; but not before it bites him. Ciaran and Diantha wake, and when Dia notices Jel missing she takes off trying to track him, sending Poe to the air to find him. The three met back up and Jel tells them about the monster he killed, but when they get to the spot the body is gone.

Returning to the settlement, the party go back to resting, and the next day they have a choice to make. Do they go on ahead and meet with Gnoth, or do they wait for him to come to them?

With some argument from Ciaran, and Jelani and Diantha explaining their thoughts as best they can, the party decides to continue on ahead to the near city where seemingly nothing has happened. Diantha and Jelani are sure Gnoth has set up some sort of base there, while Ciaran thinks they should have waited to defend the settlement.

The party makes it to the city, and upon entering are met with a bustling crowd; something no one expected considering the whole ‘Barbarians pillaging everything’ going on.

The three got separated by the crowd momentarily, and someone approached Jelani and slipped something in his hand, telling him that he ‘dropped his pouch’ and carried on. Jelani put the pouch in his pocket and Diantha and Ciaran got back to him. Diantha noted the pouch as she approached, knowing full well that it wasn’t Jelani’s, but the half-orc insisted that it WAS his. Ciaran picked it from his pocket while he argued with Diantha, who got Jelani to see reason, and opened it, revealing three stones (ruby, emerald, and sapphire). Sure that they were stolen and that someone was trying to pin it on them, Ciaran insisted that they get rid of them.

Before they could, however, they were met with challengers; men bearing war paint, in markings Jelani and Diantha noted were the same as the ones worn by the lower ranking members of Gnoth’s tribe. They fought, and took one of the men back to a inn to question him (the barkeep was very understanding).

While questioning him, Ciaran used an alchemy jug (I think she got from Grayden?) to make acid to torture him. Before he could give much of anything, something thudded against the door. A note, handwriting Jelani recognized as Gnoths. The message told the party where to go if they wanted to face Gnoth.

Jelani runs out the door, looking for whoever left the note, Ciaran helping him, but to no avail. Diantha draws her magic necrotic blade Wounding, and offers the man one chance to repent. He cuts his throat on the blade.

Before leaving, Ciaran decides they should just toss the stones that Jelani was slipped into the jug of acid. Diantha tries to protest, but Ciaran just. Tosses them in.

Nothing happens.

The party ditches the corpse and leaves, following the route that Gnoth specified. On the way they find a cave, and do battle with Dwarves and a Giant who are holding a few women from the various settlements around the plains hostage.

During the battle, Ciaran’s knife Ghost Carver does something odd. The gem on the hilt cracks, and a strange black mass emerges from the cracks and stabs her arms. And then nothing. Jel and Dia do not see this. The party defeats the hostage takers and free the women, then continue on their way to Gnoth..

Gnoth was in the plains where he said he would be, at his side his Second, a Orc Druid by the name of Dura.

Jelani wasted no time in charging Gnoth, knowing he would need to get in the first blow if he stood a chance. Diantha and Ciaran kept their distance and the battle that followed was intense, and eventually became very one sided. Jelani couldn’t stay up and Diantha couldn’t heal him enough. Oh, and Ciaran got polymorphed into a cat by Dura.

Jelani died. At Diantha’s side, Jelani died, and for a moment Diantha died with him.

And then a red light shone from Diantha’s pocket, and there was the sound of something cracking. Diantha pulled the red stone Jel received from Jadine from her pocket, unsure as to how or when it got there.

And then Jelani lived again.

The fight started back again, and finally both Gnoth and Dura died, and Ciaran was released from Dura’s spell. Behind the large stones that Dura and Gnoth had once stood on was a Winter Wolf that was chained to a tree, assumed the companion of one of the Orcs.

Ciaran approached it quickly, Diantha and Jelani taking a moment to themselves. The wolf bit at Ciaran, and she got the other two to help her get the wolf loose. After checking the bodies of Gnoth and Dura, the wolf decided it would stay with Jelani. Ciaran was a touch jealous.

With that complete, the party returned to Whiteshadow.

The Burning Forest Arc

The party returns to Whiteshadow and speaks to Jadine and the King, and are rewarded with a key to a Keep in the city that is for their use when they aren’t travelling, and after Diantha goes to see Monty (with the rest of the party in tow). Monty is drunk, claiming to have been ‘celebrating the trios safe return’. Dia light heartedly scolds him, and thanks him before they have to head out to their next mission.

Once again the party is given no time to properly rest up, having to head back out again to a remote town with a forest that has, apparently without reason, burned.

The party arrives and questions the villagers, learning about a rumor of a monster- possibly a dragon- living deep in the forest. They also learn about another group of adventurers that have asked about the forest, and ventured out. The party is suspicious, and follows their path to the edge of the forest, keeping an eye out as they venture through the burned, ashen woods. They see no sign of the other party.

And then they come to the center, and find a girl. Suspicious, Diantha approches first, and begins talking to her, learning her name is Mara. Once Diantha is comfortable that all is well, she let’s Mara know about her friends, and then motions them to come forward.

And then the other party appears, and reveals that they are looking for Mara, though they don’t answer as to why. Ciaran and Jelani essentially take care of them, Diantha needing to only stay by Mara and keep her safe. She does cast Hold Person on one and they capture him. They learn very little, and decide to take Mara back to Whiteshadow with them.

On the way out of the forest, the party is attacked by two basiliks, and Diantha is paralyzed and then turned to stone. Ciaran and Jelani defeat the creatures, but are left unsure of how to help Diantha.

And then a woman appears; tall, elven, with ashen skin and long white hair. She cures Diantha (”You poor dear..”), and then gives the party a item, a warning of the town ahead, and takes Mara with her through a portal.

The party returns to the town, the man in tow, and get him put in a jail cell, and then take their leave. They camp out during the night, and when they wake the town is oddly quiet. They return to check, and find everyone dead, brutally killed.

In the jail cell, the man is blown, seemingly from the inside out, and a bloody sigil is drawn on the wall. A hand with an eye in the center.

They return to Whiteshadow quickly, Diantha wanting to speak with Jadine about the event.

The Ivory City Arc

At this point in time our newest member joined us, playing the Halfling Scholar and Arcane user Elowen.

The party returns to Whiteshadow, and fills Jadine in on what happened. It is then they are introduced to Jadine’s friend, a halfling scholar named Elowen. In order to complete the next task, the party has to travel to another city, part to learn about Vecna, part to find a Holy Item, and part to help Elowen learn about something herself. The party heads out with their newest member after getting a few drinks.

It takes around a week for the party to arrive at the city, and when they do they find that the city is quarantined, due to an illness that has been affecting the arcane users of the city. They manage to talk their way in (a bit of Dia making sense, a bit of Elowen sarcasm, and a bit of Ciaran and Jelani Sass/Threats combo), and head to the library.

They are locked out, and told that unless they can figure out what is causing the illness that is affecting a great many of the arcane users there, they will not open the doors for anyone.

Angry and tired, the group heads to the light house after learning that the source of a smog that is probably linked with the illness is coming from underground, and the light house probably has a link to an old sewer system under the city.

They venture down, leaving Jel’s wolf Hak at the surface (he’s plenty capable of caring for himself for a few days), and find a odd shimmering pool with a couple chests in them off the bat. Before anyone can question it, Ciaran hops in and begins wading through to the chests. She gets halfway before she slows, realizing the pool is actually a slime monster and she is it’s next meal.

Elowen banishes the slime to another dimension for a minute, freeing Ciaran (who checks the chests) and then gets out. She has aged a bit, but Diantha is able to reverse the damage done with a Greater Resto, and they carry on.

The group comes to a city. An underground city, that looks like it is made entirely of bone. Upon entering they have a few short chats with some locals and learn it is a ‘Dead City’ called “The Ivory City”. Dia is quick to cover her head with her cloak. Told to speak with the King, the party ventures through the city and finds a old temple of Sarenrae, and upon entering find a white and gold tome. Diantha takes it, and the party finds a few pages torn out around the main room, before leaving to the palace.

The King of the Ivory City, Selat, greets the party ‘warmly’, and suggests that if they want him to help with their problem, they should help him with his. A Red Scourge is taking his gold, and he wants them stopped. He introduces his Jester, a bard named Symund (Ivory Symund he calls him) and says that Symund will be their guide through the underground to the Red Scourges domain.

Diantha agrees, shaking the finger (literally this guy is HUGE) of Selat, and gets a spell cast on her. A black ring around her right middle finger. Selat tells her it is so she will keep up her end of the deal.

The party travels a few days, fighting a few various creatures and learning about Symund. That he was an adventerer with a party 15 years prior, but that they were stopped by Selat; Symund kept as a play thing, his Paladin friend left to wander half crazy in a maze, and his other party members killed.

The party finds the Red Sourge, a group of goblins painted red, and a Red Dragon. The party fights and kills them all with the help of Symund, and finds Selat’s gold. Cursed Gold. Anything that touches it is swallowed up, consumed by Greed. Symund finds a scroll, but keeps it to himself, and upon being asked promises the group that it is a key to defeating Selat and getting them out. Promises that it isn’t a self sacrificing plan.

The night before they arrive, Symund pulls Dia away from the group and reveals that he can free her from Selats hold, and uses an experimental spell to remove her ring, and place it on his finger with his own ring. He says that it is part of his plan, and to trust him. To make sure the she gets the rest of the party out when the time comes.

Diantha agrees.

The party makes their way back, and confronts Selat, who reveals (Shockingly) that he never planned on letting them go. He agrees to let Elowen, Ciaran, and Jelani leave, and stops the smog from forming, thanks to Symunds smooth talking, and says he wants to keep Diantha as another of his toys with Symund.

Symund strikes, using the scroll he found and trapping Selat. The party does not know what exactly happened to Symund, as he forces them to leave the palace with Mage Hand, and then Diantha gets the party to flee with her.

Elowen is broken-hearted and furious, but they get out.

The party gets to the library, finally able to check it out. Diantha and Elowen stay at the library and research, learning about Vecna and a Maester, Jelani walks the city with Hak, and Ciaran finds the nearest bar and gets smashed.

When everyone is settled they find Ciaran at the bar, and the barkeep gives them a room and some drinks.

The next day, Elowen and Ciaran manage to find enough to know that Symund is ok, but no more than that. They all decide to return to Whiteshadow, emotionally and physically drained.

The Winter Festival Arc (current arc; Name may change??)

The party returns to Whiteshadow after a week of traveling, just as tired as they were a week before. But the city has changed, and during the time they were away the seasons are shifting; winter has arrived, and thus Whiteshadow is preparing for their Winter Festival!

The party meets Monty as they make their way to see the King and Jadine, and have a quick talk with him, learning about the Festival, and an upcoming ball that the party is of course invited to. They say they’ll think about it (spoilers they’re going anyway), and Diantha, Jelani, and Ciaran go to meet with the King and Jadine, while Elowen decides she wants to look about the Festival.

Elowen is approached by an old man (Grayden!!) and he asks if she has seen (the trio) about.

Before Dia, Jel and Ciaran can get to the King or Jadine, the entire city is frozen over in an instant. Elowen and Grayden included.

The trio return outside, and encounter a pale blue woman wandering the crowd looking rather distressed. She is surprised to see them free from the ice, claiming they are ‘touched by fire’ and asks for their aid. She introduces herself as Boreal, and explains that her queen is fighting with another Fey, and is losing. Her people are dying, their lives and power connected to their queen, and so the ice realm is freaking out and freezing over things it shouldn’t.

The party asks Boreal if she can release Elowen and Grayden from the ice. She only succeeds in freeing Elowen, claiming she is too weak to get them both. Saying it’s ok, Diantha agrees to help Boreal.

Boreal takes the party through a portal, and they are separated; Diantha in a room with Boreal, and Ciaran, Jelani, and Elowen each in a different place.

From their, Boreal has Diantha watch over everyone through three portals, while Ciaran, Jelani, and Elowen each perform a task for Boreal to help lower the power of the enemy army.

The tasks essentially go off without a hitch, and Ciaran, Jel, and Elowen each go through a portal to take them back to Whiteshadow. Diantha is releaved, but Boreals attitude suddenly shifts, and a rush of images Diantha isn’t familiar with rushes through her mind.

She realizes that it’s the party, performing the before tasks, but the scenery is VERY different.

Ciaran destroyed a shrine to the God of the Hunt. Elowen killed a city of Fire Elementals. Jelani killed the Father of Giants.

Diantha is in shock, and before she can properly react Boreal casts a Guias charm on her, preventing Diantha from saying or letting on about anything that has happened for a month. If Diantha ever does try to force her way through it, then she will die. Boreal says that it is because she hates Diantha; that she has her fathers eyes. Diantha is confused by this, but before she can ask Boreal sends her back to Whiteshadow.

The party meets up, and Diantha acts as if all is fine.

From there, they head back into Whiteshadow and decide that since everything is done for now, they’ll wander the festival and go to the ball. To prepare they all do a bit of shopping, and while Elowen waits on everything to be touched up, Diantha, Jel, and Ciaran finally go to talk with the King and Jadine.

They speak with the King, and he offers them a more permanent position; The Kings Shadows, a title that has not been used in many years. The party agrees (Jelani the least enthusiasically), and are given medallions that have an old magic on them, and allow them to communicate with each other even at great distances.

From there the party goes to Jadine and shares what intel they learned, and in turn learn that things are far more dire than what they originally seemed.

Agreeing to continue doing what needed to be done, Jadine sends the party away to prepare for the evening ball. Everyone needs a break sometime right?

The party attends the ball, pretty much doing their own thing; Ciaran at the food table keeping away from people, Elowen helping Jadine keep from having to talk to everyone, and Jel and Dia off at the side observing the party.

Diantha takes the quiet moment to ask Jelani what he plans to do. Five years prior to the start of the campaign they made their agreement to find Gnoth and get their revenge, and they’ve done that now. Jelani replies that sometimes things change, and when asked if he’ll stay, he replies that ‘Until every star in the universe dies’. It’s one of Jelani’s rare softer moments, one that is quickly ended by a drunken Monty approaching them.

After a bit of drunken babble, and more lighthearted scolding from Diantha, Monty asks Dia to dance and leads her to the center of the dance floor, deep into the crowd.

A few minutes after, Monty seems perfectly sober, and Diantha is confused by this sudden change. Monty looks… odd, not his usual cheery self, and he mentions that Diantha’s eyes have changed, that she looks burdened. Claims that she needs a vacation, to Riven, get some fresh air and a break. Diantha jokes that the lack of a vacation is a bit of what she signed up for, and he says that vacations are a bit different for everyone.

He pulls her close, and leans down so he can whisper for her to ‘take this’ to Riven, and meet a friend of his.

He slips her an item, and then leaves her on the dance floor.

Diantha finds a golden dragon scale in her hand.

The party goes on late into the night, and after Ciaran follows Monty to his home to question him, getting little to no info, and then getting caught by Diantha sneaking back into the party (and NOT talking to her shame shame), the party returns to the Keep for a night’s rest. Before sleeping Diantha confronts Ciaran, and reveals the Gold scale Monty gave her. They talk about Monty’s odd behavior, and agree to see him in the morning and decide on whether they’ll go to Riven or not.

They all have dreams that night, some remembering more than others, and wake up the next day concerned; Jelani has a black hand-print on his torso, Elowen has a red chain ‘tattoo’ on her wrist, and Ciaran finds a 2-foot feather at the foot of her bed. Diantha has repeated nightmares of what they helped Boreal do, refreshing the situation in her mind.

The party discusses their findings, and goes to meet Monty, who they find has left already, claiming to be on a trip, and that he’ll return when he returns.

The party goes to ask the King, who doesn’t know where he is, and from there they begin their trip to Riven, which is only 2 days away. A quick trip by horse compared to most of their other trips.

The party arrives at Riven, and heads to the Riven Geological Institute, meeting Ash, a Gnome who works there. They speak with him, learning a bit about the place, but before they can get to the heart of the matter there is a loud commotion from the streets.

A group of men are handling a dwarf woman roughly, holding her in the air. Ciaran, who can read lips, sees one, asking about ‘A Dragon’, but before they can find out any more the party winds up in a battle with them. The men talk about ‘Keeping the blue one alive” but the others can die. They tell Diantha that she can leave, they have no bounty for her, to which Diantha replies ‘Like hell!”.

The Bounty Hunters it’s revealed essentially… kill themselves. Using odd weapons (spoilers; it’s guns. experimental guns), they try shooting the party, but the guns end up misfiring 98% of the time and blow up on their users. Part of the street catches fire because of one of the guns blowing up and in turn causing some barrels with oil to blow and burn, but Diantha and Elowen take care of the fire.

The part catches one of the men, but he knows minimal. The group of hunters got their posters, happened upon them. Ciaran was the only one wanted alive, to be put on trial for ‘crimes’. Diantha knows, but cannot let on she knows.

The man is taken by the guards, and Ash approaches the party and thanks them for their help. They talk a bit more, and return to their previous conversation; why their here, and about the gold dragon scale that is decroating a great many things in Riven.

Diantha shows him the scale that Monty gave her, and Ash takes them to a secret place.

There, in a deep cave connected by some sort of magic door, they meet Lav, who… reminds them a great deal of Monty? And behind him, in a large cavern unseen by the party save for it’s breath, his master, a Gold Dragon.

When asked, Diantha tells Lav that Monty sent her, and this rings a bell with Lav. He offers his hand to Diantha, who takes his hand. He kisses her knuckles, and after a moment she notices an odd sensation.

She can actively think about what happened with Boreal. Lav smiles knowingly, and before anyone can ask Dianthas legs give out from under her and she falls.

Jelani rushes to her, Elowen close behind, and Ciaran is ready to fight Lav. Diantha finally explains that it’s fine, and after hugging Jelani and apologizing profusely, she explains to the party what really happened when they helped Boreal, and why the men from before had bounties for them.

Lav explains that (since Diantha shared a good bit of information) that the woman they described is named Auril, a Arch Fey and ruler of an Ice realm. He gives them a scroll that will help them open the door, but they have to find a way into the Fey realm themselves.

Elowen asks about Diantha’s father, and tho Lav can’t tell them who he is, he tells them that they should check the Fey; after all, he can tell (somehow?) that Diantha was born there. Jelani inquires about the Storm Ruler he’s dreamed of, and Ciaran inquires about Monty’s odd behaviour.

And that’s where tonight’s session ended! Remember, this is a basic skeleton of everything and there’s lots of details left out b/c I can’t… really recall everything, and I’ll do my best to keep up from here on out so you guys can follow our adventure too!

Holy wow we’ve been through a lot, and it’s been a really fun thing over all! If any of you ever get the chance to try out playing a DnD campaign, I highly recommend it; you don’t have to make it strict by the rules, just have fun and create a story with each other!

#king-raven #ask #blu says #dnd;voc #dnd; voc summary #dungeons and dragons

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surveystodestressme · 6 years

Text

156.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 36

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking?

it depends

3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice?

probably not

3403. Where does peace begin?

within

3404. Does America practice the ideals it preaches? If yes when and where? If not, why not?

3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said? If yes, isn’t this a form of closing yourself off to new ideas?

sometimes but it depends on who i am talking to and what the convo is about

3406. In what ways are you closed minded?

i stereotype sometimes and don’t stray far from it

3407. do you prefer beans or rice?

rice.

3408. who’s a better tv dad?–dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner?

danny tanner.

3409. detroit or new york?

never been to either

3410. What’s your favourite Star Wars movie?

the first one

3411. What’s your favourite Star Trek movie?

never seen any of them

3412. How about Batman? never seen any of them

Indiana Jones? ^

Lord of the rings? the first one

harry potter? prisoner of azkaban

star wars? already asked.

3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be:

Saddam Hussain?

George W Bush? 9/11, whaddup with that?

John Lennon?

an alien? how did you come to be?

God? are you real?

Someone you knew who has died? what’s it like when you die?

Steven Speilberg?

JD Salinger?

3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)? nope

If yes, what were the beings at the end of the movie?

Do you see this as a possible future for humanity?

What’d you think in general?

3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells ‘relief’ how do you spell:

love? jack

happiness? sunflowers

evil? lemons

sexiness? jennifer anniston

yummy? food

3416. Have you ever been to a Broadway show?

nope

What one?

3417. Nighttime shows or matinees?

nighttime

3418. How are your family get-together, loud and rambunctious or quiet and formal?

loud, very loud.

3419. Would you be able to survive shipwrecked alone on a desert island?

probably not

3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his?

no idea.

3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack?

i don’t know off the top of my head

3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms? If yes, what ones?

i used to when i was much younger

3423. Is english your first language? yes.

If not…How you say hello in your language:

another word in your language + english translation:

boob in your language:

3424. Make up a religion (make it up): people have already done plenty of that

what would it believe: anything

3425. Create your own country-

Name of country:

Ethnic background:

Language (make it up):

Other details:

3426. How would you celebrate these holidays?

Dogs in Politics day:

Magic circles day:

Be bald and free day:

National mole day:

Syliva plath day:

Increase your psychic powers day:

Waiting for the barbarians day:

Air day:

3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue’s Clues:

i think it was for drugs

3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics?

what????

3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz and said, “Hay, thats a good idea!”

3430. - Have you ever covered yourself in blood and layed down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident? You don’t know what you’re missing.

nope.

3431. Can you flare your nostrils?

yup

3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter?

that sounds awful

3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months?

not that i know of

3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy?

same way people discover other things would be good, eating them

3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them?

because they were hungry probably

3436. -do you like the idea of 'like father, like son’?

i don’t have an opinion either way

3437. Put the following musical acts in order from best to worst by numbering them..(1 for best, 2 for 2nd best, etc… 20 for worst).

Avril: 2

Ashanti: 3

Joan Jett:

David Bowie: 8

the Bee Gees:

The Doors: 7

Tool:

DMX:

Iggy Pop:

Creed: 5

Weezer: 1

Ministry:

Thursday:

Kittie:

Adam Ant:

Rancid:

the Clash:

Led Zeppelin: 4

Moby:

Tom Waites: 6 only counted the ones i know

3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member?

sitcom family member.

3439. What is the wave of the future?

technology.

3440. What’s your favorite old movie (before 1990)?

the breakfast club

3441. When someone tells you that their significant other lives Really Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up?

nope

3442. Alaska or Hawaaii?

alaska

3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC?

it’s shorter

3444. What is there no place to hide from?

time

3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them?

giving.

3446. What can you never have just one of?

kitchen cooked potato chips

3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan?/

the wrestler.

3448. What would you be the patron saint of?

idek what that means

3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid?

sometimes

3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!:

greys

3451. When was the last time you ate too much?

a couple days ago

3452. Describe the sexiest person you can imagine:

i don’tneed to, i can just imagine it

3453. What have you seen that’s…bizzare?

several things

3454. Are there any stores or brands or products that you boycott? What and why?

not off the top of my head

3455. Do you want things to REALLY get out of control?

no.

3456. Are you too tense?

i can be

3457. Where would you be without love and bubblegum?

right where i am

3458. Why aren’t comic books popular anymore?

people don’t want to read anymore, i guess

3459. Think of one friend (who?): my boyfriend.

When is the last time you saw each other? today

Do they smoke? no

Do they believe in God? no

When you first saw this friend what was your impression? i thought he was really cute

Their age? 22

The top five things you think they think about? motorcycles, computers, me, video games, work

3460. Do you say what you mean? Do you mean what you say?

yes.

3461. Could you eat meat if you had to hunt it yourself?

yeah, if i had to

3462. Order from greatest to least importance: spirituality, creativity, intellect, great body, open-mindedness, magicalness, great dancer, interesting dresser, wit and cleverness, niceness, stability

intellect, niceness, open-mindedness, stability, wit & cleverness, creativity, spirituality, interesting dresser, magicalness, great body, great dancer

3463. Complete the sentence.

When a problem comes along You must: solve it

3464. Pick the two most important attributes for food– fast, cheap, tasty, healthy

tasty & healthy

3465. What do you think is the best metaphor for romantic relationships? (e.g. a car wreck, a cruise):

a rollercoaster.

3466. Kittens or no kittens, that is the question.

kittens

3467. Is gaining 15 lbs in a night possible?

3468. Do you get emotional watching movies?

all the time

3469. What makes you feel nostalgic?

looking at old photos.

3470. Do you feel like you’ve been misplaced?

no.

3471. Have you ever fought someone, just for fun?

no.

3472. What gives you an adrenaline rush?

carnival rides

3473. What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else, and you could never have them?

move on.

3474. Rank these events in order of best/most exciting to boring:

drinking and dancing to your favorite music at a club: 6

taking a walk in the woods and a bath in a stream: 8

having great sex: 5

winning the lottery (one mil): 1

getting followed home by a stray animal: 4

meeting someone interesting to talk to: 7

seeing your favorite band in concert: 3

seeeing a broadway show: 9

halloween: 2

3475. Can you keep a secret?

yes.

3476. Where is the tenderness?

in the heart.

3477. What’s one song you REALLY like from the:

30’s?

40’s?

50’s? good golly miss molly

60’s? sugar, sugar

70’s? dancing queen

80’s? livin on a prayer

90’s? no diggity

00’s? oops i did it again

3478. Would you rather have a video phone, an electric scooter, or a digital camera?

electric scooter

3479. If a ban on all violent video games was put into effect, would you be outraged by this decision?

absolutely because it’s ridiculous

3480. In your opinion, is violence in society inescapable? Why or why not?

yeah

3481. Have you ever mimicked a violent “action” from a video game you’ve played towards another person, whether it was to harm or just for play?

no.

3482. Do you believe the violent content in video games influences aggressive and/or violent behavior in younger children?

yeah, i feel like moreso on people who are too mature to understand. i don’t think children should play violent video games because i don’t really think they can handle it.

3483. What makes life a bitter sweet symphony?

idk.

3484. Name four things that are AWESOME:

sleep, my family, having a roof over my head, and food

3485. What’s the most creative/funny answer you can come up with for this question: What are you doing?

watching greys anatomy... not really creative or funny but that’s what i’m doing

3486. Can you imagine this world going on without you?

yes.

3487. Are you the only person who really exists?

nope

3488. Is everyone else a figment of your imagination?

nope

3489. Or are YOU a figment of my imagination?

maybe.

3490. Can you prove you exist? How?

yes, my birth certificate.

3491. What do you HAve to get off your chest?

nothing at the moment.

3492. If you cheated on someone would you confess to them?

yes.

3493. Is it true that at least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you? Who?

yeah, i guess so? my siblings, parents, and boyfriend

3494. Are you in therapy?

i used to be a while ago

3495. Do you go shopping on black friday?

nope

3496. What is the bane of your existence?

rude people.

3497. Better movie: Weird Science or Caddy Shack?

weird science

3498. Who’s the big winner?

me.

3499. What are the 3 funniest:

music videos? i don’t watch a lot of music videos

Movies? horrible bosses, 22 jump street, we’re the millers

songs? nightmare on my street, cotton eye joe

3500. Guess what?

no.

#bored #Questions #quiz #survey

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