#if you're gonna come up with that bullshit

[hellfirecvnt]

Teacher Work Day

Lee Russell x Fem!Reader pt. 3

Summary: "Is that bitch pissing on that cop car?"

Notes: Whoops. This one's long. Idk why I keep doing that lmao.

Part one here. // Part two here. // Part four here.

The next day, the aforementioned Teacher Work Day, you show up hungover as all hell. You groan out a pained sound as you step inside the school underneath the bright, fluorescent lights. They claw and beat on your skull with every pulse of your heart. Your sunglasses do little to stifle the ache.

"Hey!" A voice that's far too excited for your liking. Whereas you're usually a tame person, this hellacious hangover has you out of character. "I just wanted to introduce myself to the new secretary. I'm Bill Hayden."

"My God, you are awake, aren't you?" You do your best to smile, peeling the useless sunglasses from your face. Across the foyer, watching from the large glass wall of his office, Gamby holds a phone to his ear. Lee's voice chimes a greeting from the other end.

"You're gonna be pissed if you get here too late and Bill fucking Hayden's made his move on Ms. Y/L/N." He taunts.

"Yeah, maybe I can show you around town sometime. Show you all the cool spots," he says with a smooth laugh. The young teacher's try-hard flirting is enough to make you gag, hangover or not.

"I just heard him offer to show her around town." Neal shakes his head.

"What are you talking about?" Lee ponders, sounding obviously stressed.

"Bill Hayden is making a pass at Y/L/N. Where are you?" Gamby's voice becomes urgent.

"I fuckin' told your stupid ass I had to meet with the lawyers today."

"I thought you said your divorce was finalized," he says, still watching as you wait for Bill to stop talking.

"Yeah, they usually like to get paid after they do that for you, dumbass. I'll be there in 20 minutes." He's about to hang up until Neal starts talking again.

"She's probably only talking to him because I told her you were into her, but when she asked you out, you said no."

"What?"

"It's okay, I told her that you are probably not into her anymore." Neal nods, pleased with his own actions for some reason.

"Gamby, what the hell? Why?"

"What do you mean 'why?' She asked you out and you said no. Did you want me to lie?"

"I want you to stop fucking talking!" Lee hangs up and tosses his cell phone into the back seat of his car as he drives down the highway. "Bill Hayden, you shifty little bitch."

He whips through a local coffee shop, because fuck Starbucks, and grabs some coffees for whoever. He just doesn't want to show up empty handed after Neal has taken to intruding on his dynamic with you. He quickly throws the car in park and speed walks inside with a peculiar amount of energy in his hips.

When Lee walks through the door, your face lights up. It doesn't go unnoticed. For just a second, Lee's eyebrows threaten to knit as he watches your expression change. He wonders if he underestimated his chances with you.

"Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N," he chimes, leaving one of the hot drinks on your desk.

"Thank you, Mr. Russell." You grin, genuinely thankful for the caffeine that you're praying will set you right for the rest of the day.

"Why don't you come with me, darlin'? If I don't claim you now, you'll be stuck running bullshit errands for Gamby." A wave of relief washes over you as he says this. You whisper a quick thank you and slip out from behind your desk. After grabbing your coffee, the two of you head down the hall.

You reach a set of double doors and as he holds it open for you, a student walks in. You're still learning names, but you recognize him as Todd. A freshman that loses his phone and has to come to the office to pick it up relatively often.

"Todd, honey, you can't be here," you say in your soft, teacher voice.

"Todd Frechett, what are you doing here?" Lee interrupts.

"I'm going to school." The short, blond kid looks around, confused.

"It's teacher work day, we did announcements about it every day this week. Go home." Lee shifts his weight onto his hip, waiting for the student to exit.

"But my mom's not home and the door's locked."

"Okay, well, then go bowling or play stupid video games, or go masturbate in your car- whatever it is that teenage boys do." He explains. "You can't be here."

"Uhh, uh-" he seems genuinely at a loss for what to do.

"No, no, no. Not 'Uh, uh, uh.' Go home." He finishes, shoving Todd out the doors he came through. "Open this door, open the next door. Open the door after that."

Lee and the student go back and forth for a while as the kid walks away, exiting the school.

"We need a day without children please!"

"Alright!" He shouts back, the door closing behind him, ending the interaction.

"Um, Lee. I don't think you're allowed to say half the shit you just said to that kid." You look at him with concern, sipping your caffeinated drink as the two of you continue walking.

"He won't remember it tomorrow. Kid's got ADHD and two Christian hippies for parents." Lee's words confuse you and you nearly get a headache trying to decipher what he means.

"So, you were a little late today." You change the subject. "Everything okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. It was nothing." He shrugs. Nothing, you repeat inside your head. Nothing kept him from having a drink with you last night, he just didn't want to and that's fine. You try to bury your embarrassment under a smile, knowing it'll pass in a short while. Rejection is part of the human experience.

"So, uh, listen. About those drinks," Lee starts. He's got a stupid smile on his face as if he's almost in disbelief that he's already finding himself speaking so boldly to you. The divorce had been drawn out for a while, his feelings for his ex-wife have long since fizzled. But it just seems so fast. Too good to be true.

"Oh, please. No worries. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm still not allowed to talk to teachers, I think. I just didn't want to drink alone," you say, hoping to ignore the situation and allow your humiliation to fade out with dignity. You let out a fake laugh.

"No, I mean, this weekend. Maybe you and I could get those drinks." Strangely enough, his palms sweat with nerves.

"Drinks this weekend? I'm in. This week has already been a shit show," Gamby appears from seemingly nowhere. "Y/L/N, grab a clipboard-"

"Not today, Gamby. She's the secretary, not your personal assistant. Get an ISS kid to do it." Lee waves him off.

"Fine. Payday drinks this Friday. I'm in." Neal snatches one of the coffees from Lee and takes off down the hall. There is no way out of it, as arguing with him is like negotiating with a brick, you might as well accept that Gamby will be crashing your date.

You and Lee share a knowing look and he rolls his eyes. You can't help but laugh.

"At least we know it'll be a fun evening," you chuckle.

"I'm certain he will turn the night into a shit show the minute we get there, but sure. It'll be interesting."

The rest of the week is filled with nonsense and plotting from your two higher ups. They can barely seem to agree on anything until Neal learns that Dr. Brown has a history of alcoholism. The three of you gather in Lee's office.

"That's perfect, Gamby. Invite her out to payday drinks, we'll knock that bitch right off the fucking wagon." Lee looks elated.

"I hate to rain on your parade, Lee. But if she's been sober for this long, there's a high chance she'll say 'no' to going out and drinking," you chime in.

"Listen. That bitch is going down one way or another. Let's just invite her to dinner and see where it goes," Lee stares deeply into your eyes and you almost forget to respond.

"Y/N's gonna have to show up separate from us. Brown doesn't fraternize with staff under her VPs," Neal injects.

"Okay, well. Don't call yourself a VP. That sounds too important," you sneer.

"Too impor-? I am important."

"Yeah, but it sounds like you see yourself as like a Vice President or something." You can't help but tease.

"I'm close enough. I'm fuckin'... Vice President of this school." Neal fumes.

"Whatever, whatever. I'll be there before you guys get there. I can't let my bosses know how high my tolerance is anyways." You shrug and the two men look at each other for a moment and then back to you.

"Go see what she says, Gamby, and report back," Lee instructs and Neal just about listens to him, but then he stops in his tracks and turns back around.

"You've been sending me off a lot. Bossin' me around. Makes me think you might think you're in charge or something." He squints his eyes. "Or are you just trying to get some alone time with Y/N even though you rejected her and she drank alone about it last night?"

"Je-sus Christ, Gamby." You stare down at the floor in front of you with wide eyes and a flushed face.

"Will you please get the fuck out of here?" Lee pinches the bridge of his nose. "Go, go!" He ushers Neal out the door, closing it behind him. Lee returns to his seat behind his desk and glances up at you where you stand, smiling from the embarrassment and humor of the entire situation.

"He's the fuckin' worst, right?" You chuckle, only half joking with that statement. You take a seat across from his desk. "I was going to drink anyways, by the way. It wasn't because you weren't there." Lee laughs at your clarification.

"A fucking idiot, just an absolutely stupid motherfucker. I'm bewildered," he huffs, leaning back in his chair.

"I guess I'll get back to the desk. Mrs. Frechett will probably be calling us after a while." You straighten the stapler on Lee's desk and he watches your delicate hand as you do it. Just as you're taking a step toward the door, he speaks.

"What if I did just like being around you? Alone? Would that make you uncomfortable?" His words cause heat to rise in your face, you feel it all the way to your ears. He's posed his question like a hypothetical, but you're no fool.

"Gross," you say in jest with little thought at all. Lee's face immediately drops to one of confusion. "Oh, my God. I'm kidding. I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that." You shake your head, clearly taken aback by your own actions. "It doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, Lee. You're the best part of my day, usually."

"Usually?" He questions as an uncontrollable smile creeps onto his face.

"Yeah, sometimes Neal just sweeps me off my feet. All that shit about leadership definitely does it for me." You fan yourself, playfully. Lee can't help but laugh, utterly charmed. Time slows down, it seems, as the two of you laugh together. In the same moment he allows himself to feel comfortable with you, his mind is flooded with doubts and anxieties.

He and his ex-wife, Christine, haven't been divorced for long, but the marriage itself was over long ago. His feelings for her are all but a memory. What troubles him now is the fear of being left again. No, not in an overdramatic, help him feel whole again type of way. It's just a lingering fear. When Christine left, it was hard on him. With the divorce freshly finalized, he wonders if he can handle the stress of doing it all again should something go wrong.

The next day, after the school day concludes, you leave work and head home to get ready to meet the guys and Dr. Brown for drinks, staging it as an accidental run-in. After changing into some comfortable, casual clothes, you make your way to the bar.

To your satisfaction, none of the cars in the lot are recognizable. You park on the far side in the darker corner, hoping your car doesn't stand out too much. Inside the bar you order two drinks, slamming them down as quickly as possible before your coworkers arrive.

"Ms. Y/L/N? Is that you?" Principal Brown's smooth voice rings behind you. You turn around, flashing a face of convincing shock.

"Dr. Brown! Oh my goodness!" You chime, reaching to bring her in for a friendly hug. "Let me buy you a drink!"

"No thank you, Y/N. Now, you all know I don't drink," she laughs warmly. A sense of pride in her words. You begin to wonder if opening your mouth is the right thing to do, but after one glance at Lee, you do it anyway.

"I hear you, ma'am. I have a terrible history with drinking as well," you admit, only half lying. Is it really history if you're still drinking? Oh well. Brown's eyes go wide as she takes in your words. "I was clean as a whistle and straight edge as they come for years after initially getting sober." You finish your third drink. "But then I realized that if I have to force myself to not even look at the bottle, then alcohol still controls my life. Moderation is what I strive for."

You set the glass down on the bar and shrug with a smile, insinuating that it's your first drink of the night.

"Moderation, B. It's a beautiful thing," Lee announces, having just ordered a round of shots. "I know that whole book fiasco got you down. Leblanc fuckin' humiliated you at that tribunal."

Belinda seems to weigh her options before snatching the last remaining shot, and joining the group as you all toss it back. She releases a hyper sound, whooping like a sports fan as the clear, burning liquid enters her system for the first time in years.

"Yeah, Dr. Brown!" You cheer, signaling for another round. Round after round, with fruity cocktails in between, even Lee and Neal find themselves more buzzed than planned, but you're still stone-faced. Dr. Brown wavers on the cusp of belligerent and blackout.

You and Lee step outside to have a cigarette, mostly to escape the overwhelming nature of a drunk Dr. Brown.

"Did you really have a drinking problem?" Lee asks, wanting to dissect how much of your monologue was just a performance.

"Shit, I think I have a drinking problem right now," you joke. "Nah, that was all bullshit." He bursts into laughter, impressed by your quick-witted nature.

"Sure wasn't hard to convince her, huh?" Lee gestures to the door where a drunken Principal Brown terrorizes the locals.

"Not at all. She was basically grabbing the glass while I was still talking."

"I really appreciate your help, Y/N," he speaks softly. "Gamby's a fucking idiot, there's no way we'd make it this far if it weren't for you."

"Thanks, Lee," you smile with pride. You look down at your hands as a thick silence grows between you. "The other day, when you were late to work, did you really have something to do, or was it an elaborate rejection? I've learned you're pretty elaborate."

Lee sighs.

"Y/N, I'm newly divorced. My wife left me one day... Unexpectedly." He knows that's a lie and he's pretty sure you know that too. "I was paying my lawyers, filling out paperwork." He shrugs, waving his hand around as if to dismiss the matter.

"Okay, yeah, sure. Except you can do all of that over your phone nowadays." You lean against the railing outside the bar.

"I know, I just-" he searches for anything to say besides admitting it scared him to pursue you so quickly.

"So you could've had a drink with me after all," you smirk, reading his hesitation. Understanding his explanation, even if you've never been in that situation.

"Guess so," he mirrors your smile, slowly drawing closer and closer to you. Before either of you are aware, you're nearly pressed against each other. Lee's chest rises and falls at a rapid rate and you watch his eyes dance back and forth from your eyes to your lips. Your face feels hot and the heat only grows more intense until you finally close the gap, pressing your lips to his.

His well-tended hands wrap around your body, pulling you closer to him, and deepening your kiss. You reach your arms around the back of his neck, resting them there comfortably as your heads move in sync, albeit sloppily. Lee's grasping at any part of you he can, pulling you as close to him as possible. Your breathing quickens and a small moan escapes your mouth until you hear something strange and pull away.

"Lee."

"What?" He sounds annoyed to have lost contact with your mouth.

"Did you just hear Belinda say a slur?" You squint as if it'll help you hear better. At that moment, the door flies open and Brown is quite literally thrown out the door, Gamby close behind.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, Gamby!" Lee exclaims, laughing maniacally at Brown's physical state.

"Oh, fuck. My purse is inside!" You run to the door and beg for them to let you inside just to grab your belongings. They're hesitant, but after seeing you so coherent, they let you in to recover your things, demanding that you leave right after. You show no protest and quickly make your getaway as promised.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, you scan your surroundings for your group, more importantly, Lee. They're a few blocks down the sidewalk doing something you're not close enough to decipher. As you speed walk up to them, you realize Dr. Brown is standing on top of a cop car and...

"Is that bitch pissing on that cop car?" Your jaw drops.

"Fucking pig!" Belinda chants as she urinates down the windshield of the police cruiser. Lee makes sure to gather every bit of evidence he can, while Gamby stands off to the side, looking a little guilty. You understand his empathy, but you crave Lee's approval over social acceptance and that's just something you've come to terms with. Maybe you're not so far off from him on the crazy scale.

Right after her golden shower, Principal Brown passes out, tumbling down the front of the cruiser.

"Oh, shit!" Gamby runs to help her up.

"Cut me out of that shit, I want no part in it," you point to Lee with a serious expression.

"I need to get her home, ASAP." Gamby says, helping her to her feet.

"I'll drive Lee home. You get her to a bed." You shake your head, leaving the men to help Dr. Brown to Gamby's car. You jog over to your own vehicle in the dark corner you parked in and fumble with your keys, finally feeling your buzz. Worst timing ever.

"Let's see that purse," an unfamiliar voice speaks from behind you. You turn around with a raised brow and see a tall, skinny man in a hoodie, hiding his facial features. In the shadows, you can still see his pale hands as he lunges toward you.

"What the fuck?!" You attempt to fight the man off as he tugs on the strap of your purse. He wrestles it off your shoulder and the two of you play a sort of tug of war. "Fuck off!" You scream, echoing through the parking lot.

"Was that Y/N?" Lee's head pops up from the car he's helping Belinda into.

"I heard it too," Neal scans the parking lot.

"Let go!" You wail, out of sight. Neal rummages through his center console and then takes off toward the sound of your voice. Lee's not far behind, squinting his eyes to attempt to see further into the darkness. "I swear to fucking God when I get my concealed carry license switched over-"

"Hey!" Lee's voice booms across the lot as they close in on you. The man quickly releases your back, causing you to jerk and stumble backward, falling to the ground with a hard thud. Lee runs to your aid while Neal, broken out in a full drunken sprint, hunts down the assailant and bashes him once in the back of the head with his brass knuckles.

"Hey, you okay?" Lee kneels beside you, placing a soft hand on either side of your face, searching you for wounds. "Did he hurt you?" He asks with an eccentric amount of worry.

"No, dude. He couldn't even get the bag out of my hands," you break into a laugh and he joins you, just from the relief of seeing you okay. Eventually, Neal returns with his brass knuckles ever so slightly bloody. It was less about defending you and more about getting to use his new brass knuckles.

"The thief has been taken care of," Gamby says with his eyes narrowed.

"Mr. Gamby, did you just kill that man?" You ask, shocked.

"No, but I could've." He walks away without another word, heading out to drive Dr. Brown home. You climb into your driver's seat and Lee slips into the passenger side. It's quiet for just a moment before you speak up.

Maybe it's the alcohol and adrenaline talking, but you do very little to stop it. You bite your lip before finally speaking up.

"Lee?" He looks at you, buzzed and smiling. "Do you want to come back to my place?"

(Part 4 coming soon!)

•••

Taglist: @its-in-the-woods // @justme12200 // @sixx-writes // @littlenosoul // @itsyellow // @blackwoodtree

#lee russell fan fiction #lee russel fanfiction #lee russell vice principals #lee russell #walton goggins #neal gamby #danny mcbride #vice principals hbo max #vice principals max #vice principals fanfiction #vice principals #hellfirecvnt

[pink-chevalier]

Previous — Next Transcript Below ↓

Jaxi: Am I the only one that hates these tiny ass lockers? 

Ophelia: You're only saying that cause you got the bottom one. 

Jaxi: Okay, maybe it's because of that, but like, come on, don't you think these lockers suck? 

Scarlett: They do suck, and I have a top one. I don't understand why they couldn't upgrade or blah blah blah. 

Ophelia: Guess they didn't have the money or whatever. 

Jaxi: I'm starting to think that they're lazy or something. 

Scarlett: Probably. Hey, can I ask you guys something? 

Ophelia: What's up? 

Jaxi: Everything good? 

Scarlett: Yeah, everything's okay, I guess, but am I the only one that feels a bit weird. 

Ophelia: Weird, how? 

Scarlett: I'm gonna sound like a little girl, but don't make fun of me. 

Ophelia: We won't do that. 

Jaxi: Yeah, we'll never do that!

Scarlett: Do you girls also feel weird being around boys again? 

Jaxi: You too?!

Ophelia: Oh, God! I thought I was going crazy or something. 

Scarlett: So, I'm not being immature about this or anything, right? It's weird being around guys again. 

Jaxi: No! While walking here, I was like, this is so damn weird. 

Ophelia: We're used to only being around girls, even though it's strange that we're acting like this because you two have boyfriends and I have Simon at home. 

Scarlett: *giggles* You made Simon sound like a pet or something, and I don't have a boyfriend. 

Jaxi: *sighs* Same. I don't have a boyfriend, either.

Ophelia: What? How? 

Jaxi: I don't know! Sammy hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet. 

Scarlett: Really? Same thing with Kameron. 

Ophelia: Do they think they don't need to ask or something? 

Scarlett: I don't know, but he better ask me soon, or I'm moving to someone else. I don't want to waste my time. 

Jaxi: I'm gonna do the same. I'm getting tired of this bullshit. 

Ophelia: You two make me happy that I'm single. 

#simblr #sims 4 #ts4 #s4 #The Knight Family

[nysus-temple]

It's incredible, in the wrong way, that this needs to be said, but...

Wikipedia is not a primary source.

Look, I use it too, sometimes it can work, but you can't jump at anyone going “did you know that—” and then answering that you read it on Wikipedia. Most of the places where the info comes from are not primary sources, but secondary ( or even not true ), from later authors. And unless those authors list their actual primary sources for their works, then they're not reliable.

So, please, don't use the well-known “argument of the ignorant” to justify your facts you made up. For the ones who don't know, that argument consists in "if there are no sources saying that THIS didn't happen, then is possible it has happened and we don't know!" Those, dear, are theories, not sources nor arguments.

I know getting primary sources is hard, but that doesn't justify misinformation, sorry if that broke your heart into pieces, buddy.

#spent 3 years of researching info about Dionysus. still going. #some random peeps spread misinformation. they get a lot of attention #people jump at me saying i'm wrong. according to the Wikipedia or to any modern author #it just. screws me up a little. you know #i know this blog is made for fun. and i try to act civil everytime #but. just. seeing people act like this. makes my motivation go away #Dionysus wasn't born the 25th of December! Shut the fuck up! Please! #that's just a little piece of everything that can cause misinformation #and not just Dionysus. yeah. he's just the main figure of this blog. shock. i know #guess i will pin this. or whatever. just leave researchers alone #if you're gonna come up with that bullshit #don't even get me started on how natives are treated towards the misinformations of they culture #stories. and history #i hate each and every last one of you. who has ever done things like that #time to take deeps breathes now #rant #wikipedia #sources

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

#before i maybe get yelled at: #1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even #though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism #2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them #3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have #encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in #nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally #about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person. #4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces #and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too. #5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided #tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla #6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things. #7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl #i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know? #8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this #nyarla dni #<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks

[br1ghtestlight]

i can never take nickel and balloon's conflict fully seriously even if they make up and apologize to each other etc because the whole time im just imagining that comic of baseball and suitcase going back to hotel oj after season 2 and seeing that nickel and balloon are #besties now meanwhile suitcase had a psychotic break over their bullshit 😭😭

#regardless of what nickel did to balloon they NEED to apologize to suitcase for putting her through the Literal actual horrors #she's gonna come back to hotel oj see that they're friends now and start beating nickel's ass and i dont blame her even a little bit tbh! #i love nickel as a character but bro fucked up w/ suitcase #and bcuz she's stuck in season 2 purgatory there's no way for that arc to get closure right now so im just like #well we're all forgeting to apologizr to SOMEBODY arent we!!! #baseball too i wish i knew how to fix this. baseball you cant fix this it doesnt just go away but you're here you're listening so thanks :) #i mean im sure they've got their own bullshit going on in s2 right now not a doubt in my mind. nickel is not suitcase's most important issue #atm they're about to get killed by robots built for actual literal genocide FJDMDMDKSJS #txt #inanimate insanity

[thedreadvampy]

so to recap we're going for eyelets to lace the sleeves on

I've settled on CIS DYKES FOR TRANS RIGHTS as the thing to paint on the back and I think I'm gonna see if I can find some rainbow, trans and bi flag pattern ribbon to frame that and I might put some spikes on there too depending on if I think it'll make my backpack uncomfortable

I have several patch ideas for the front and sleeves including

MORE LIFE embroidered in white over an applique red ribbon

QUEER AS IN FUCK YOUR BORDERS embroidered quite big over a bleach painting background of a swallow breaking through barbed wire

FUCK THE FUCKING TORIES obviously

black patch. small white bird flying at the top. At the bottom, in small lowercase, I THINK I'LL CARRY ON

Bi SCUM flag based on a design @lifetheuniverseandnothing did a while back

My classic rainbow FUCK

Stylised cunt overlaid with the words EAT OUT TO HELP OUT

I am toying with some ideas about a removable spiked pauldron, and planning on attaching some miscellaneous D rings bc miscellaneous D rings are nice to have. Also gonna run a chain across the back and probably a couple across the chest, and spikes on the chest pockets. I think I would also like to write things on the sleeves and cuffs.

if I have time around cooking dinner tonight I wanna mark out and pierce the spots for the eyelets (haven't got enough to actually eyelet them yet), cut the arms off, and make a start on the bleach painting. things like the studding, chains, D rings and patches are all long term stuff but it would be nice to get a bit stuck in while I'm hyped up.

#red said #the slogan was an obvious choice once i said it to jay and they immediately lit up #i have decided my reluctance to call myself a dyke publicly is pretty much entirely Discourse Brain Poisoning #and the thing stopping me being the radgy punk i wanna be is mostly a compulsive need to never say anything wrong #which is. a bad way to be radgy. sometimes you're gonna fuck up you can't get so stuck in overthinking you never do anything #and 5bh CIS DYKES FOR TRANS RIGHTS very much sums up my personal specific part in the Gender Bullshit #cause like. me being cis and queer are really very vital to my relationship to gender and to the whole. i do not want to say question. #fucking. honking great pile of bullshit coming from transphobes. #it's about protecting and loving trans people but my relationship to the struggle is also really closely tied to my own gender identity #which is. cis dyke. among other things. #also you know it rhymes so that's a winner right there #dyke jacket

[constantvariations]

It's kinda funny to me that so many people are up in arms about Neo's actions in C8 when it's easy for me to dismiss simply because that ain't Neo, yknow?

Like, Neo has never pussyfoot around murder. If she wants you dead, you gonna get dead. From Neo about to stab Yang while the latter is unconscious to Neo and Ruby falling through the void while Neo uses the visuals of Ruby's loved ones to try and weaken her enough for Neo to strangle her to death, Neo has always been fairly direct in her methods

So, it's difficult to reconcile that version of Neo with the one who would passively let her target take themselves out

Not to mention the semblance shift. Neo's semblance, Overactive Imagination, is illusions manifested via semblance glass. They shatter upon contact. Because they're illusions

That's the biggest deal breaker for me. Crwby changed her semblance so much she might as well be a whole ass other person. Fuck, it could've been an Afteran. It's not like Neo was needed here, especially with how easily she was discarded

Instead of illusions, Neo's new abilities seem to be... animorphing people/creatures she may or may not have met via semblance clones and allowing them sentience

Mcfucking what???

The point of illusions is they're not physical. It's not an actual transformation, but rather the aesthetic of one. This could have worked if they kept the semblance evolution to multiple illusions at once OR allowing physical transformation, either of which would have been super cool to see, but they pushed too far. There's too many upgrades that deviate so much from the original ability that it's a whole ass new power

So, immediately on her introduction, the og Jabber is killed(?) and in its place is... multiple Neo-Jabbers. Who can eat other creatures alive. And apparently desire to do so

McFUCJING WHAT

This implies that all her semblance clones of others have their own sentience. Which would never make sense when she never interacted with anyone in that torture scene besides Roman. Seriously why the fuck is Lionheart here? Give us nothing, king

Now, given that we are shown the stream of souls, what could have happened is the illusions were possessed by folks who needed to get a last word in, but that's not. what. happened.

Instead, we have the writers disregarding a character's inability to speak so they can brutalize a teenager in the stupidest way possible, and throwing away all logic of a fairly easy to understand power because it suits their plot needs

Riveting

#rwde #idk its hard for me to actually hate anyone in this show besides jaune bc of the writing #and jaune specifically BECAUSE of the writing #neo deserved so much better than this storyline bb i am so sorry you ended up in this dumpster fire #but honestly the fucking semblance evolution thing is absolute bullshit plot convenience and this is its peak #neo gets like. 3 fucking upgrades to her semblance because *checks notes* she was betrayed by a bitch she knew was unstable/ untrustworthy #fan fucking tastic #whats even the point of having a pre established villain if you're gonna switch them out last minute anyway??? #idk its always silly to me when people stretch a character's influence beyond writer capabilities #like 'urgh oz is evil because uhhh politicians in other countries suck' #like babe. youre putting way more thought into this than the writers who couldn't come up w a more evil oz than 'bird twins' #the energy is wasted #at that point write your own damn story bc its clearly more interesting than anything crwby can come up w #i have more thoughts but i need to sleep or else my next 12 hr shift is going to drag my spine through an apple orchard so peace lol

[aeide-thea]

i love literature but this sort of literary chauvinism drives me fucking batty. like. you’re really going to pat yourself on the back about how

Tenderness is deep emotional concern about another being, its fragility, its unique nature, and its lack of immunity to suffering and the effects of time. Tenderness perceives the bonds that connect us, the similarities and sameness between us. It is a way of looking that shows the world as being alive, living, interconnected, cooperating with, and codependent on itself. Literature is built on tenderness…

when the original blog is the commonplace book of, and reblogged by, hedgehog-moss, who used to be vicious terf sespursongles before she remade and went crypto (i don’t have receipts offhand but i have seen them), and blocked me for objecting to her claim that a designer getting excited about concepts and forgetting about practical concerns was somehow an Inherently Male phenomenon?? like... clearly all her engagement with literature, which is obviously pretty extensive, has not in fact instilled much humanism in her when it comes to not just writing men off categorically!

and in general i just feel like—sitting by yourself imagining your way into sympathy with another imagined person or people is great! but absolutely does not necessarily translate into actual interactions with actual people you can’t just shut the book on when you aren’t in the mood to deal with them.

#idk. i fucking love books and i DO instinctively want to think they've made me sympathize more with other people #but intellectually i think that's honestly kind of bullshit #i just have a degree of instinctive sympathy in me that can be turned towards both fictional and nonfictional people #the books didn't cause it #anyway cf that one quote about how it's really easy to feel patient and sympathetic in the abstract #when you're like. spending all your time by yourself thinking high-minded thoughts abt how you totally like and value humanity #and how often that comes crashing down to earth really abruptly when you get confronted with the reality of humanity #which is that people are often mundane selfish dicks it's hard to romanticize! #anyway. to be clear i am FULLY @-ing myself with all of this #but i just like. if we book people are gonna claim to be magically enlightened we have to do better than swallowing this bullshit #and then puking it back up in order to pat ourselves on the back about it

[gender-euphowrya]

when one of my ex-fav youtubers replies to a comment i made to address him casually dropping n-slurs saying i don't know what lead them to this but it's not right and all he's got to say to me is "i had covid"

#man come ON #his apology vid is bullshit too it's just ''lol cancel me idgaf y'all are sensitive'' but faux-verbose #anyway god damn it fuck off why are people fucking like this #ephemeral rift btw fyi if you care #like i didn't expect a long and deep essay written for Me Specifically in response to what i said to him but #you're gonna take the jokey route ?? when i'm telling you i'm outski from your channel because you've been racist??? #like it's some serious shit it was n words AND diminishing the horrors of the holocaust #that's not just a oh oopsie teehee moment that's straight up some mask off shit #keep your fucking covid then for all i care ffs dude #i'm gonna miss margaret more than i miss you

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: February 12

“This Is the Life” by Amy MacDonald

#song of the day #this is another one off the playlist I reblogged earlier #I got a handful of new songs off the playlist and this one might be my favorite #she's got a lovely voice and the way the lines of the chorus run together makes it very satisfying to sing along #'the songs they get louder each one better than before #and you're singing the songs thinkin this is the life #and you wake up in the mornin and your head feels twice the size where you gonna go where you gonna go where you gonna sleep tonight?' #I'd like to be asleep myself #reaching the point where thinking feels like juggling eggs and every second of the day I'm haunted by the feeling I've forgotten something #I haven't lost the ability to spell or to type or--and actually that quick-run chorus makes today's song a very good metric for this-- #I haven't lost the coordination that lets my mouth keep up with my mind #if I start having trouble typing or singing fast then we'll know I've hit the sleep-deprivation point where I shouldn't chop my own veggies #which is worse than any of the aches and other bullshits that come with being too tired you know because it's just /inconvenient/ #nothing worse than feeling bad /and/ now there's something mildly aggravating going on #nobody else does the food prep right!

[beeseverywhen]

god the duality between 'I don't want someone in my house' and 'yeah I'd like my own kids and no way I'm doing that alone'

#like ppl who don't want kids should be free to live their lives without ppl being like 'watch out! your biological clock is ticking!' #that's bullshit ppl shouldn't say that. but also. i would like kids and #after so many years trying not to get pregnant and that seeming like a worst case scenario. so desperately wanting to not become my parents #now i am an age where I'd happily have a kid if i were in the right life situation & i don't feel I've got all the time in the world anymore #lol like. the space in between 'too young to have a baby' and 'old enough that i risk more health issues/ will be an older parent' #feels way way narrower than i ever would have assumed lol. esp. because all the parents in my family are so young. the idea of being an #older parent is so strange to me. I'm so aware of the things you can't do when you're older and how it's harder work to run after them #and like my body is already wearing out way faster than anyone elses. my health's only gonna get worse so. #being an older parent just doesn't seem an option. not to mention like. the older i am the less generations I'll get to see. #i want to be a great grandmother damnit. lol. #like I'm on a clock. to get over my commitment issues or it legit won't happen. but yeah. can't think of anything worse than having #to have someone in my house. if i was rich enough to have lots of space that's one thing but. I'm not lol. #and rich ppl rub me up the wrong way whenever they try and chat me up so doubt I'm gonna marry in to money looool #like i have come to terms with the fact that. if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. id rather not get to be a mother than to settle #like that whole 'looking for a partner' dating life is not for me i can't think of anything worse. if it happens it happens #I'll either meet the right person who im willing to give up an empty house for or i won't looool #and it's not like im giving up the whole raising kids thing completely. #like I've got to play a significant hand in raising my siblings even if i didn't ask for that. I've got to see them grow and #help them reach those milestones. and whatever the circumstances I'm blessed to have had them in my life #even if i don't have my own kids I'm always gonna have kids in my life even if I'm an aunt rather than grandmother you know #I'm lucky to be in a family where raising kids is a communal thing. but yeah id love to have my own kids & have someone that looks like me #but I'm not willing to bring someone in to the world in non opportune circumstances deliberately. #like if it's up to me i want them to have 2 parents to look out for them and 2 parents that at least stand a chance of liking each other lol

[snekdood]

Idk why i expect charitability from ppl who probably listen to whatever their staple favorite left-leaning video essayists says about the Other Leftists they dont like and takes it to heart and doesnt form their own opinion with the information provided (or the information specifically and intentionally left out to make the person look the worst that they can) just kinda does whatever that persons says because Its Probably Correct

I mean, theyre "on the left" and uses all the words you like, nevermind what their intentions or long terms goals are or how thatd reasonably be practiced irl or if it'd actually hurt the general cause of progressives and make things even more divisive and worse bc they value being petty more than actually having any values.

#yall be like 'i better go watch this black person who believes in racial separatism and take everything they say to heart and not form my #own opinion because the Correct Thing To Do is to let every minority im not say shit that would only help nazis in the long run Because Im #Not That Minority So Clearly I Have No Stake In This'. like idk. its one thing to pretend you understand every thing about a certain #minorities experience that you dont have. its a whole other thing to actually challenge people on their beliefs. and if the person you #are challenging cant give you a good enough answer or dodges or gets MAD at you for even asking - you should probably avoid them or at the #very least not just believe every fucking thing they say and never come to your own conclusions on shit. #people are supposed to have the critical thinking ability to have their beliefs challenged and give you an actual answer #theyre supposed to want you to understand. theyre supposed ro be able to explain it to people who dont understand #and arent in the same spaces enough to understand. if you cant explain to me why racial separatism is somehow Ideal then why should #i listen to you. just to do whatever you say no questions asked or else im bad and very problematic? #like how am i supposed to take this kinda person seriously when they go around calling shark3ozero the c word and other #racist shit. like you're not serious lol. you have no issue just acting like the people who disagree with you on something are just purely #bigots. #when the people you attack are far more on your side than the fucking republicans who yall barely even mention. which is interesting. #anyways if you believe in dividing everyone by race understand that thats LITERALLY what white supremacists want. that is Not the ideal #world for me. idk about you. and if you understand this and still follow me gtfo of here #you're a dipshit and prolly an accelerationist and i dont have time for your bullshit and likely nihilism. #you're gonna end up killing yourself thinking the world is only ever against you and everyone who disagrees w you is a bigot. #and i dont mean necessarily actually putting up a noose i just mean you're gonna isolate yourself SO MUCH from other ppl and stay only in #your one little space. that if you ever lose that space for whatever reason you'll be left alone w no help. #or you'll isolate yourself so much and stay inside forever and be hella paranoid in grocery stores thinkin everyone there Wants To Kill You #and im not gonna act like ik whats in the mind of someone who believes in racial separatism. that was more of an example. but i can try #to understand and i can tell that someone has to go through a lot of bs to think thats the only solution. im not trying to downplay why ppl #might think thats the best option. but really its the same shit w terfs and cis men and it kinda seems like its a solution born from trauma #with convoluted justifications for why its Fine actually #thats how it looks from my angle rn. if thats not the case and you feel like its different im always willing to hear different angles on #stuff. im never married to my positions as im not exactly a static person who never changes. #id say thats quite the opposite of my Whole Thing

[mybrainproblems]

brain is just mii waiting room music as i consider where i've ended up in my supernatural fandom journey

#that is to say: a berenscrit dabbfan and glynn stan who considers s1-3 kripke and dabb era to be the best eras of spn #which means i'm sad bloodlines wasn't picked up as separate from spn and think it's a blessing in disguise that wayward wasn't greenlit #also i'm going to be watching an adaptation of a YA novel that i have zero interest in just bc glynn is the showrunner.... #i wasn't in the fandom when wayward wasn't picked up but everything i've heard really sounds like it could've been a firefly s2 situation #i feel like the issues with kaia's character are well-understood at this point but killing off missouri to make her a spirit guide(???) #for patience is uh. questionable. and depending on how it was handled could have fallen badly into the magical negro trope #the shitty thing is that we all know it wasn't picked up bc execs thought an all-female cast with middle aged women as leads #wasn't marketable to a larger audience and that part is bullshit but i think maybe it was best it didn't go forward as it was planned #like unless they were intending to have a very diverse writers room i cannot imagine what berens might have come up with #the creation and treatment of kaia as a character says a lot and i think the blame falls more on him than dabb or other writers bc she was #created with the intention of being on the show he would be showrunner for so i think he had more independence/less oversight #dabb is complicit tho and so are the rest of the writers tbh since it doesn't seem like anyone saw any huge issues with it #also: davy perez wrote a better confession in stuck in the middle with you vs 15x18 and does not get nearly enough respect for it 🙄 #tbh *none* of the other writers get enough respect like my god you're gonna stan berens and NOT ms meredith glynn???? #thee all-rounder and Understander of late seasons and top 5 writers on the show *ever*? #glynn could do 05x04 the end but bedlund could never do regarding dean #hashtag Takes that would get you cancelled in 2021 #spn

[medicinemane]

I still argue that bleeping someone like Gorden Ramsey is bullshit so that people who love and find swearing fun can pretend that they didn't just hear him call someone a fucking donkey, because there was a bleep... like they don't know the exact word he used, like they didn't think it, and like they didn't have fun with it

Cause I bet you... any amount of money you want honestly, that if you asked Gorden Ramsey not to swear he just wouldn't... I don't think they ever bleep anything in shows where he's helping kids cook

No, people find swearing fun, it's entertaining... they just don't want to admit they like it because it's naughty

And to be clear I'm directly pointing to this and pointing to 'unalive' and drawing a line between them for how we got here

#you either don't swear or you do; bleeping is only for when no one's supposed to swear but it came out by accident #but 99% of the time; you can tell the producers wanted people to swear because their audience loves it #and at best they didn't bother telling them to keep it polite; and at worst they encouraged it #you know; I once when I was like 12 went with my mom to see Chuck D give a talk about stuff #and at the end when he went up he was like 'oh I'm so sorry; I didn't know there was a kid in the audience or I wouldn't have cussed' #and we assured him it wasn't a problem (didn't explain I'd know all of it since I was little) #(and I think to an extent even then I had a mentality of that I'd rather hear it how he was gonna say it normally) #but... he very clearly could have and would have simply kept a check on himself like everyone is capable of #and he clearly would have been more than happy to #it wasn't an 18+ event; it just was on a college and he expected adults only and talks how he talks #you can have zero naughty words most of the time... all you have to do is ask #and you can avoid serious conversations... it's polite to let people not be forced to engage with topics they don't want most of the time #hell; that's the whole point of trigger warnings #...I don't know; I'm forever fuming about this whole fucking topic #it's like a huge portion of humanity is willingly and gladly throwing shackles on #it's on thing not to say fuck; I respect the hell out of that #it's one thing to mind your words and subject; go for it #and it's also one thing not to want to listen to people swear #you know... I often do tone down how I feel like talking cause... I get some people following me might not like it... and I actually care #...it's just also... in the end this is my spot I dump bullshit out of my skull in a verbal vomit #so you get it how you get it... but like I get not wanting to hear it #but don't you fucking tell me you hate swearing and them sit their laughing at a bleeped bit from a show where someone's cursing up a storm #no you like swearing but you're just being a shifty self righteous prick that's pretending you don't to feel smug #and don't talk about death if you don't want to #but don't say 'unalive'; not unless you're meaning the opposite of undead and coming up with something interesting #if you're saying 'unalive' you're just a spineless fucker who can't even manage saying you'll kill a zombie in minecraft #(or a fool who doesn't get what you're going along with)

[lxvvie]

Couples Shit with Simon Riley (Part 2):

Having a giggle/chuckle fest almost every time you are intimate. It first happened at the beginning of your relationship when you would giggle every time you two kissed. It opened the floodgates, had let that nervous energy out, and Simon was right there chuckling with you. ("Heh—aw, fuck me.")

Swearing up and down that you're gonna fuck each other's brains out but as soon as you hit the bed, you and Simon are out like a light. The last time this happened, he was supposed to go down on you, but the next thing you know, you woke up to him fast asleep with his head on your stomach.

Kissing the bridge of his crooked nose and Simon turning into putty every time. Hell, kissing any and every dent, bruise, and scar, and making your man melt.

A nice round of horizontal tango turning into a cuddle session after you comforted Simon through a charley horse. Poor baby.

Initially making the telly watch you two make sex but turns out whatever you're watching was pretty decent after all so you guys are back to watching the telly again.

Getting hot and heavy one time but you were so intrigued with the mole you discovered on Simon's inner thigh that you spent the next half-hour or so trying to find other moles on his body.

Telling Simon that you "always wanted to do this" and when you get him hot, bothered, and hard, it turns out what you always wanted to do was measure him. His disappointment was immeasurable... even if he was interested to know the number.

Twinning in some way, shape, or fashion whenever you're out together.

Talking mad shit about his snoring but let him tell it, he doesn't say shit when you take up about 80% of the bed, covers, and sleep under him.

Speaking of talking shit, having disagreements like every couple does and when you go to bed, you're angrily cuddling each other. And yes, Simon still wants your kisses in the morning, even if you two are still mad at each other. Simon doesn't give a shit, you're still gonna love on him, dammit. And him on you.

Being mad with Simon when he arrived too late to get the creepy crawler that was harassing you. Harassing you by doing what it does best: be a creepy crawler. Simon tells you you'll have to conquer your fear one day. You tell him to conquer the couch tonight lmao.

Agreeing to disagree about the superior ice cream flavor in the house. It's too bad there's not any of his favorite ice cream in the freezer. There's some of yours, though. Why? You didn't get any because it was so superior that you wouldn't "dare sully it with your hands". Cue the judgemental stare and him eating YOUR ice cream afterward. Rude.

Scaring the ever-living shit out of Simon on the rare occasions he gets to sleep in. He woke up to you sitting up in bed with his mask and paint on. Oh, and he calls bullshit. He did not nearly fall out the bed. Nor did he jump. Okay, Simon.

Chilling and drinking with Simon. Finding out he gets hot and sweaty pretty easily and off comes his clothes. Waking up hungover the next morning and you're the big spoon to a naked and equally hungover Simon. Choosing to do fuck all but sleep it off that day.

Playfully calling or referring to him as the Missus, especially in front of your co-workers. When they finally meet Simon and ask him who he is, he replies in pure deadpan Ghost fashion: "The Missus".

#2queued4u. #nsfw-ish. #cw: alcohol consumption #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern lovefare. #simon ghost riley #ghost call of duty #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x reader #cod x reader #cod x you #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #x plus size reader #x poc reader #x black reader #task force 141

[natalieironside]

I know this audience skews young, so I wanna tell y'all something. Listen.

If it hasn't already, there'll come a day in your late teens or early 20s when you get disillusioned and relieved of a whole bunch of childhood notions at once, when you take a good look around at the life you're in or seem to be walking into and you ask yourself, "Is this it? Is this everything life is going to be? Am I really supposed to devote my life to making money for someone else day after day and year after year, with two days a week and one week a year left over to live, until I die? This is a helot's stake. This is the wrong side of the line between libertas and servitas. How can this be it?"

And when that happens, I want you to remember that you're right. It is bullshit, and it is a misery, and it doesn't have to continue. People are gonna tell you you're wrong, they're gonna say shit like "That's just how life is, kid, so grow up," and I want you to remember that those people deserve equal measures of pity and contempt.

If this makes you angry, that's good. It ought to.

And once you're good and angry, you can read up on this cool thing we got called a union.

#the big machine #the beautiful idea