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stsgsk · 6 months

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There was a time when sadness and solitude went hand in hand for you.

Hiding your pain behind a smile, muting it behind laughs, ignoring it as you showed the world that you were happy despite the turmoil inside. It was only when you were alone and felt safe that you dealt with it.

You would crumble by the end of the day as soon as you were alone in your room. Your misery would come out as heavy sobs and difficult breaths as your tears soaked the pillows. The rest of the world seemed to cease to exist when you cried. You were alone. It was just you and your grief. Sometimes, it was only grief.

You were always worn down by the end of it, too tired to cry anymore despite needing to. It was the result of neglecting yourself, letting a smaller emotion snowball into something much worse because you waited until you couldn't pretend it didn't exist anymore to deal with it. It was far from efficient but you didn't know better because it was what you've always done.

But Satoru changed that.

Was it his six-eyes or something else that made him know with one glance over you that something wasn't right?

What made him gently take your hand in his and lead you away from the rest of the world that just seemed too much for you that day?

Why did he lead you to his room, a place you felt safe in, a space where it was just you two alone, to ask if you want a hug?

How did he know, from the way your smile dropped, your eyes watered, the trembling of your body, that yes, you did need a hug?

Who else but Satoru could simply wrap his arms around you and hold your head close to him and make your defences crumble and sob because you feel safe to?

There was no one else, but Satoru who had sat on his bed with you as you cried, whispering assuring words as he rubbed your back. He didn't let you worry about anything else for a second. He wanted Forget my shirt he would say, letting you cling onto his clothes as you sob. I'll get another one. Just let it out. Let it all out.

And you did. You cried in the arms of someone who you loved and cared for, who loved and cared for you back.

By the time your tears dried, you felt much better than you ever had after crying. You were tired, but not in the way that left you feeling numb. It was more of a physical exhaustion. Mentally and emotionally, you felt relief. You felt better.

Satoru gave you that time to recover. He pulled you onto his laps and gently wiped away all your tears as a peaceful quiet grew between the both of you. Your ear pressed against his chest, the la-dup, la-dup, la-dup of his heart soothed you. The warmth of his body he shared with you as he holds you close, arms secure yet gentle as if to say I'm not letting go. His tender kisses, the feeling of his lip on your shoulders that lingered even after he pulls away.

Best of all was the calm and gentle assurance you felt whenever you looked into his eyes. Blue. The colour you once associated with sadness and melancholy and pain and tears, was now a colour you found comfort and refuge because it was the colour of the eyes of someone who loved and cared for you.

"If you're feeling down," he tells you as he presses his lips on your forehead, those lips that could spend hours whispering comforting words to you, and never scowl once or grow tired while doing do. "Then I'm feeling down too. We always share each other's joys. Why should our pain be any different?"

And you two did. If you wanted to talk about it, he was all ears. He won't interrupt you, save for the hums and nods. He'll only start talking when he feels its right, making sure to not cut you off whenever you replied to him. He wanted you to feel heard, to know you're feeling are real, to assure you and ease you.

If you didn't, that was fine too. He was more than content to hold you as you got it out of your system. He just wanted to be there with you. He didn't want you to feel alone, especially after you've just been so vulnerable with him by crying in his arms. He wanted you to know he wasn't going anywhere.

He stayed with you until that ache in your heart eased and you gave him a small smile that said, I'm okay now and, Thank you for staying with me.

In response, Satoru would brush his lips against yours, a gesture that said back, For you? Always.

These days, sadness was not something you spent in solitude. It was something you shared with Satoru, until you felt better.

#fem reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #i've posted this like 5 separate times cause it wasn't showing up on tags lmao #i think ill edit this quite a bit over the next week lol #i quite like this though #even if i could have probably composed this a lot better #anywho #thank you for reading <3

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ssspringroll · 17 days

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Real Estate 'Listings' Info

TL:DR Vacant apartments. They're a sim-making prompt. That sim will live in that apartment in my game. Only occults are invited. (See sim guidelines at least, if you read nothing else)

E.T. Moneybags presents an exciting new housing opportunity for all displaced or needy occults. Looking for a new start? Move on in to a lovely Newcrest apartment! A newly developed neighborhood for all of freak-kind to live in peace, amongst themselves or while learning to integrate with human society!

After crash-landing in the yard of the Landgraab mansion some 20-odd years ago, they took them under their wing, showing them the wonders and joys of capitalism! Delighted by this, among other earthly delights, E.T. has spent their time on Earth finding ways to introduce culture to everyone they can. With a little investment help from their old pals the Landgraabs, they've hit it big enough for their dreams to come true: a housing development just for people like them. Aliens, Vampires, Werewolves, and more!

What is this?

I'm starting a new 'starter save', a personal save file that I will clone each time I want to begin a brand new save game. This has every lot changed, every EA townie updated, and a few new townies added in. Some of these new townies are made by me, but the rest? That's where this project comes in! Real Estate 'Listings' are a (hopefully) fun idea I came up with to invite other simmers to make some sims for my new starter save.

How does it work?

I will post photos of a vacant* apartment. This is your prompt for making a sim! If the whole apartment is decked out in purple, maybe it's a sim that really likes purple? If there's a lot of books and bookshelves, maybe they're a writer? It's up to you how much personality you want to give them! Once the 'listing' photos go up, you can comment or reblog with a notice that you would like to claim that spot. After the spot has been claimed, I will turn off reblogs for 3 days, during which time you can make and submit your sim! (If you need more time, let me know, but if I don't hear from you for 3 days, the listing will go back on the 'market'). Once an apartment has been filled, the post will be edited and the reblogs will stay off.

You can check the open listings at ssspringroll.tumblr.com/tagged/for rent. All listings (open and closed) can be viewed at https://ssspringroll.tumblr.com/tagged/ETM Realty

If you'd rather just submit a sim and let me figure out the rest, you can! More info here: https://ssspringroll.tumblr.com/post/747775297474183168/renters-wanted

If a listing has reblogs disabled, then it's claimed (or occupied, check the original post to see!) You do not have to claim an apartment before submitting a sim, but I highly recommend it! If someone else claims the apartment they get dibs on it, even if you started your sim before they claimed it. But there's plenty of apartments to go around, so don't worry! You'll probably find another one that you like.

*It is possible that an apartment will already have a resident and will instead be looking for 1 or 2 roommates to move in.

To submit your sim:

You may make your own original post featuring your sim(s), or you can reblog the listing with your sim(s) if you find that easier, more organized, or whatever (if you claimed an apartment and reblogs are off, you'll have to comment to let me know I need to re-enable reblogs!). Make sure you @ssspringroll in your post so I don't miss it!!!

Your sim(s) do not have to be publicly downloadable if you do not wish for them to be, you may private message @exculis (my main) with the link if you prefer, or send a non-anonymous ask.

Sim creation rules/'guidelines':

You do not need to make a new sim for this, you are welcome to offload sim(s) from your gallery (that you made, or were born in-game) if you'd like

You do not need to write any kind of backstory, biography, or anything else about your sim(s). You can genuinely just post them with no commentary if that's all you feel like doing. Remember these are townies! I'm not asking for maximum effort. I'm asking for whatever you can scrounge up.

Sim(s) MUST be an occult of some sort, or intended to be an occult of sorts. If you do not have the pack associated with the occult you'd like to make, that's fine! Just specify what they are supposed to be in your post somewhere and I'll make sure they get turned into that occult when I place them in game

Aliens are preferred, but all in-game occults are acceptable (including plantsims!). That said, they do not need to follow game-lore. For example, I often make 'demons' that are actually vampires, or 'fairies' that are actually spellcasters. You can have fun with it! However, I will not install any mods that add in new occult types.

Hybrids are allowed and encouraged! I play with the occult hybrid stabilizer, and I love weird combos! If you aren't capable of making them a hybrid on your own, once again that's fine! Just specify what occult types they're supposed to be, and I'll get them set up as best I can in game.

Only one outfit (everyday) is required, it's up to you if you want to put any other outfits on them. I won't stop you. If their other outfits aren't done, they'll likely just get randomly generated ones from me (unless they end up a major character in one of my playthroughs, then they'll likely get a more personalized makeover)

You do not need to customize Alien Disguise form, vampire dark form, mermaid form, werewolf form, etc. You can if you would like to.

You aren't limited to just 1 sim per household. Many apartments have space to sleep multiple sims, you're welcome to make as many as you want. Human sims are permitted if they're family.

You aren't limited to 1 submission, but you can only have one outstanding claim at a time. If your claim runs out, you decide to give it up voluntarily, or you fulfill the claim by submitting a household, you are allowed to claim and submit again if you'd like.

Pets are permitted. Horses are not recommended. These are apartment buildings 😰

I have all the packs, and cc of any kind is permitted. I only ask that you please include the cc in the download when you share the sim

I won't install custom sliders. I have too many in my game as it is and your sim will probably look fine in my game without them

Disclaimers:

I do not write stories, this is not a 'submit your sim to be a character in my story'-type event. These sims will functionally be townies in my game that may interact with whomever I am playing at the time, and might not.

I will do my best to mention the original creators of the sims if/when they are featured in screenshots on this blog, but please understand I may forget. I will always direct people your way if they ask directly about a sim, though (if your username hasn't changed by then/I can still find you, of course)

I will not share your sims with anyone else. I will not share my starter save or any save files cloned from my starter save with anyone else.

I can and WILL change anything about your sim(s) that I want to. If you aren't okay with this, this isn't the event for you

Complex gender options are a-okay! I won't touch things like physical frame, pronouns, clothing preference, or other gender options. I do play with the LGBTQIA+ mod, though, with auto-assign settings that may assign them a gender identity or orientation different from what you intended.

None of the apartments or their buildings are available for download. If you really want one of them for some reason, shoot me a message I guess. You will not get any of its residents. See bullet 3.

This isn't a 'enter and you might get in' type game, this isn't a contest. If you send me a sim (unless there's some kind of game-breaking issue with them) then they will go in my game. Into an apartment. Until I run out of apartments, and then any further submissions will just be left to run around homeless.

I may add to or edit this post as the event goes on.

#simoleon #not ready to post any apartments yet but the info post is here if you were interested #its a lot i know im sorry.#i just wanted to cover all my bases.#you really only need to read the sim guidelines (and maybe the disclaimers‚ unless you dgaf what i do with the sims once i get them #then in that case dont worry about the disclaimers i guess lol)#ill probably keep editing this until im ready to post the first listings at least #i gotta go add a little more personality to these apartments now #so that i can post them

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fluffyselfships · 5 months

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hey guys! i know yall have been waiting for this for a few days and im proud to say that i finally have the whole timeline/backstory for bunny and i's adventure time ship lore sorted out!!!

so im proud to present our lore in extreme detail, its kinda rambly and very long!!

for yalls sake, im putting it under a read more 💀

kitty note: a lot of at’s canon events still happen, most of canon resides in the past, betty never comes back, so golb is never summoned. islands happens but no humans come back to ooo in fear of vampires, which are still an issue since marceline isnt alive either (referring back to the fact wk has ice marcy, implying something bad happened to her). some other canon events happen later on, so the timeline compared to ats is all over the place lol 😭 this has nothing in common with the f&c canon outside of the bare bones

for colored quotes, pink are for kitty, bold purple is for bonbon, blue for the wk and red for bunny :)

ik/wk gets ahold of the crown & puts it on in front of betty

betty doesnt get summoned to the present, she moves on after leaving simon

ik/wk meets marcy & has her for a couple of years before passing away (either due to the radiation from the gmw or due to the oozers that came from the radiation)

the original ice kingdom builds up around 500 years after gmw

kitty becomes princess of the stuffie kingdom about 700 years post-mushroom war

they meet princess bubblegum during a princess day celebration

this one is hosted in the breakfast kingdom

they get along famously during this princess day meeting & become fast friends

kitty meets ik/wk due to his princess kidnapping tendencies

kitty, once settled into his ice cell, informs him that theyre a lesbian

ik apologizes & they end up talking about girls until they get rescued

kitty & ik’s relationship mirrors marcy and simons post i remember you

BIG father/daughter type bond

after 150 years of friendship, kitty & pb persue a romantic relationship

their relationship is pretty healthy to begin with while both of their kingdoms are in infancy (725 years post gmw)

after ~200 years, theres a communication breakdown between the two of them, leading to their breakup

it takes a good amount of time before the two of them get back together- koo’s election still happens & she loses the ck for a while, which allows for their reunion to happen

bella noche gets summoned & ice king becomes simon again

this is the first time kitty gets a glimpse of who ik truly is

this, obviously, is an eye opener for them & they want to help ik gain his lucidity once more

kitty takes betty’s place in punching bella noche

marcy, as stated before, has passed & hambo is long gone, which prevents simon from creating the portal to apologize to betty

after bella noche’s defeat and kitty’s discovery, they ask bonnie for help in their quest to fix/cure the ik

bonnie agrees & offers to do some preliminary research on ik’s crown while kitty is away on royal business

bonnie uses the machine from “broke his crown”

ice king comes along with gunter

while ik and bonnie are using the machine & preoccupied, gunter is bored & starts pressing any and every button on the machine

this causes the machine to overload and explode

this accident transfers the curse of the crown from ik to bonnie via electric shock (from the explosion)/magic (the explosion malfunctions ik’s crown & the curse is transferred)

bonnie has amnesia from the crown curse

kitty returns from royal business and cant find ik anywhere and finds bonnie’s lab destroyed

kitty comes across bonnie, now bonbon, first

“…trying out a new look bonbon?”

“who’s bonbon? who are you? how did you get in here?”

bonbon is kind of aggressive, her mental state is adjusting to the curse

kitty, freaked out, goes in search of the ik, who is now the winter king

they finally come across wk while searching deep in the newly-forming winter kingdom

they ask him what happened & he genuinely has no idea what happened exactly, but offers to use his newfound conscious thought to help figure things out

kitty thanks him & they return back to their own kingdom

over the course of the next six months, kitty tries to adjust to bonbon’s changes & tries to help her remember

bonbon shows no interest in kitty, as the curse’s infatuation sets her sights on wk

kitty tries (and fails!) to ignore this & they try to help bonbon regain her memories

“i just got you back and ive lost you again” energy

kitty approaches wk & tells him that theyre going to be leaving to find a cure for bonbon’s madness & they werent sure when they would return

kitty’s sibling becomes the main one in charge in their absence & it stays this way

they lose touch with the wk after some time, leading him to believe they might be injured or worse- dead

kitty spends ~7.5 decades looking for a magic cure where both wk can continue to be wk and bonbon can turn back to normal to no avail

kitty meets magic man outside of the wastelands of ooo, where he promises to help in exchange for a favor

he’s still trying to steal glob/gob/grob/grod’s residual powers

the process malfunctions due to an interruption & magic mans powers transfers to kitty, making them magic woman

for the remaining 25 years before they return, they do intensive and obsessive magic studies in order to find a cure

they also occasionally watch bonbon from afar, watching the candy kingdom be rebuilt & just seeing how she’s doing

it is very painful for them but they miss her so much that they cant help themselves sometimes

bunny, age 24 by the time the 100 years have passed, meets winter king while assisting the ice scouts with another one of cq’s kidnappings

bunny is related to finn since josuha treated being an adventurer like a family business, so the tradition carries

impressed by their skill, wk appoints bunny to be his personal body guard due to their skill with a sword

since theyre always together, wk and bunny get to know each other rather quickly & become fast friends, bonding over magic and science

after some time, wk finds himself falling for bunny and he is not shy about those feelings in the slightest

he constantly flirts with them & makes it known that he likes them

bunny is oblivious + has had a crush on wk by this point anyway

wk takes bunny to some royal business & they get stressed out by all the people there/feeling like they dont belong due to the fancy event

wk takes bunny aside and gives them a pep-talk, a sweet one at that

“i wouldnt have invited you if i didnt think you wouldnt belong”

his hand is gently sliding towards theirs, interconnecting their fingers

“i brought you as my date for a reason..”

bunny.exe has stopped working

they confess their feelings to each other & they spend the rest of the event away from everyone, talking the night away.

wk and bunny enter a romantic relationship

two years pass & wk needs to go to wizard city, bunny accompanies him

the two run into kitty, causing a whole mess of emotions to run through wk- not good ones

kitty starts coming around more & becomes friends with bunny

kitty’s sudden reappearance is stirring up a lot of bad memories, thoughts & feelings with wk. despite this, the two are slowly rekindling a friendship

due to the bad feelings, wk is pulling away from bunny & is drowning himself in his work, this is a slow process, it takes a few weeks before bunny says anything

the stress of emotions is reaching to the point where he’s starting to see so much of betty in bunny & its scaring him

not to mention he’s feeling guilty about something…👀

during wk’s slow pull-back, bunny and kitty are venting to each other about their respective issues

my sona reveals that bonbon wasnt always the way she was & tells the story from their own perspective

bunny, having no idea this ever happened, decides to confront wk about his distance & why he never told them that he knew what was wrong with bonbon

during this confrontation, wk finally breaks down and reveals to bunny everything about what has happened & his thoughts

“you remind me so much of her..”

he also reveals the fact that there is a cure for bonbon’s madness that he discovered during kitty’s absence, but the caveat is that he would become the ik again. theres no way to be fully rid of the curse.

“are you ever going to tell kitty?”

“no. ive worked so hard for what ive had & i dont want to lose it.”

“but you really should, its unfair to them to hold onto hope that isnt th-“

“im not telling them!” he snaps at them

after he snaps at bunny, they decide that they need to think about things for a while & they spend the next few months in the magic man house with kitty

at some point during this period, kitty decides to go on a date with bonbon, mirroring bespoken for

rather than getting angry and frustrated like betty, they get progressively more upset and sad

during their breakdown, they reveal to bonbon that they used to date

bonbon later thinks about this & it begins the crowns obsession/infatuation slow shift from wk to kitty

this date doesn’t go well & kitty ends it early

bunny’s sona is the one to give the tiny manticore speech

“maybe you're going after someone who doesn't exist anymore. why not take her as she is? after all, you’ve been through a lot of changes yourself”

kitty takes bunny’s speech to heart & they think it over, but not immediately

on wk’s side of things, he is miserable and alone & wants nothing more than to apologize to bunny

he seeks out kitty, who takes him to the magic man house

he apologizes profusely

“i never meant to push you away.. ive just spent so long trying to avoid these feelings that i ended up exploding. i’m horrible at dealing with negative emotions, but i want to work on it for you. i am so sorry, bunny”

bunny, after hearing his apology, forgives him & they return back to the winter kingdom with wk

bunny & the winter king, once reunited, try and figure out a way to tell kitty that there is a cure to bonbon’s madness in a way that they wont freak out/blow up/snap

during this time, kitty comes back bonbon to give their date another shot, apologizing for how abruptly it ended last time

they end up having a simple spaghetti dinner & kitty realizes they have more in common now then they did 100 years ago

this date goes well & they continue to go on dates, falling in love with each other all over again

bunny and wk finally find a way to tell kitty that there is a cure but it would reverse everything in wk

my sona, interrupts them before they can say more than “we found a cure-“ and tells the two that they dont want to fix bonbon anymore & that things finally feel the way they should now, ending my sona’s arc

the four of them can finally relax & enjoy life once more & they all become close friends once more :3

#long post #a lot of this is rambly i am so sorry #some smaller stuff is still being worked out but this is the bigger things/timeline of the canon #other stuff might change & evolve too and if it does ill just edit this post lol #🍬🩷 candy buttons 🩷🪡#❄️winterbun🐰#selfship #self ship #f/o #mod kitty🐱

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xannerz · 3 months

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its always surreal to me to see people praise s2 of centaurworld. s2 was so spectacularly bombastic and aimless and it ended in this awkward forgettable fizzle.

i feel like a dick saying it b/c i really do love the show lmao. or, at least half of it lmao (/stares at tnwk). gf and i've been thinking about rewatching it just to write out our thoughts on why s2 was such a poor follow-up to s1 - from the tone to the setup to all the worldbuilding the narrative had to offer in between the (far more) memorable songs of s1. idk. it's sad because cw really had the bones of a cult classic, but idek if you can call it that.

ive seen a few posts commenting on its lack of popularity, and i feel like it certainly deserves more, b/c i do feel like it's a novel idea made w/ love, but the shift btwn s1 and s2 wasnt just in the plot. there was a full-on *fracture* in the quality and direction and i'm still scratching my head over it. more than i should be, probably. but, it's just a bummer.

#centaurworld #centaurworld critical #<- a tag i never thought i'd use lol #ok EDIT: fuck it im tagging this maybe there are others who'll also see their own viewing experiences in this post too #dont mind me rambling #but i got an ask on my thoughts abt cw a long time ago (hi!! i still have it 😭) and ive been wanting to write a detailed response since.#debating tagging this since the fandom's already p small and i dont wanna bump the tag with negativity #even if it is (what i feel is) p fair criticism. but idk people are sensitive and conflate it w hate idk idk #ive seen thinly-veiled hate posts in the t*ngled the series tags and it's always bothered me.#bc you can tell op just like hates xyz character or the show entirely and its like can you just come out and say it LMFAOO #but i genuinely like cw. i so so very much do. so i get bummed out! gf and some other friends and i were so excited for s2 and #when it rolled out ep by ep we were like 'it'll get better right? right?'#also tempted to just draw more cw fanart in general bc the t t s fandom is slow and if half the people dont have each other blocked #theres simply 0 overlap in fave chars or interpretations so lmao #im going back to work i just feel sour LMAO #also adding that i think a lot of people conflate a story eliciting an emotional reaction from you = its good #but ill revisit that and all these thoughts again eventually in another post. we'll see.#and i STILL want a nwk tattoo lmao. or at least an elkie. gf and i love elk bc of this guy! the impact that he has!#xangoeswah

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marsbotz · 2 months

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good news for all my haters: im not coming back. not properly. i think social media and being around ppl in general is destroying me so im gonna just focus my energy on other stuff

ill probably still be a little bit active occassionally but for now i think il just stick to posting art etc. im moving to sheezy.art (which is down for maintenance rn but opens for registration again on fridays!) bc the energy there is much nicer for me.. but ill still post on here and insta. im also gonna be working on building my own website again!! so bookmark it and maybe some day itll have cool stuff on it.... :]

#idk ill see how this goes but ive been like lurking here for a couple days and every time without fail it makes me feel shitty #may not be a permanent thing but i have a couple safeguards in place now to stop me from getting sooooo bad. i think #i deleted all the apps off my phone. which has helped a lot esp deleting insta for reels #and i actually made another blog for like if i ever go Cazy again. for like vents and stuff . altho if im not on social media at all it #shldnt be a prblem #i wont share that but u can ask for it if u want. tho unlikely ill post for a while idk #for the record my neocities has like nothing on it rn. its essentially a series of tests from when i started last yr #and got nowhere lollll.. but im hoping to have a lot of fun with it soon #lol this whole thing is a little stupid. and i feel bad but just know its all my own fault. my own issues etc #its happened b4 itll happen time and time again i think. so im just gonna part ways w it #from now on if im gonna overshare it has to be in a lengthy edited well written blog post !!!!!!!!!!!#oke. bye #i do actually have smth to post later on my rnm blog but whatevaaa #oh ill start up my queues again too

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mayakern · 11 months

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Hey. So I just finished Spitfire and...um holy smokes!! Do you have an estimate for when Firebrand is going to be available for reading because I have an absolutely mighty need! Sorry if this is a question you've answered before, but waiting for the second book is going to be torture. 😭

If anyone who follows you sees this and hasn't read the book, I highly highly recommend it!!

aw thank you that’s so sweet! i’m so glad you enjoyed it 🥰🥰

i’ve paused writing firebrand for the time being because i’m currently in the process of re-editing spitfire (i’m working with an editor and agent to potentially have it reworked for trad pub, or at the very least an audiobook), but you can read what currently exists of the first draft of firebrand on Ao3. it’s about 40k words so far.

#ask #spitfire #faq #i know its so weird to have the book out and also be editing it but it’ll be worth it!!!!!!!!#and if its not ill cry a lot lol

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vicariouseyes · 8 months

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Okay, maybe this is a dumb thing for me to have not noticed until now...

But did anyone else notice that if you're walking through town and the background music is playing, walking into a building CHANGES the musical instrumentation of the song? And it's the same song, but each building's instrumentation is completely different and fits the vibe of that building. That is the coolest fucking thing.

I can't believe that didn't click until like 5 minutes ago. That's such a nice touch to have put that in there. Is that a new thing they added, or have I just been oblivious this whole time?? Lol

Speaking of things I didn't realize until today, if you take a picture with an NPC, it automatically removes the talk or open shop option from the photo. My dumb ass was trying to find weird camera angles to hide it lmao.

#Palia #palia mmo #palia open beta #ill have to post some of the pictures I've taken at some point #i like how a lot of them have turned out #i promise i have other interests lmao #like rune factory 3 special just came out so... lol #but im still obsessed enough with thos game that i really want to write a fanfic and have like 3-4 separate notes in my phone with details #and pictures of quotes from characters in game that are gonna be relevant #but I've been too busy to actually write 🤦‍♀️#side note #i hate that we still cant edit individual tags for typos in this the year of our lord 2023

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honkowo · 1 year

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yaaay growth post's done! yippee!!

was originally gonna have only one image but I suck ass at writing so I did some extra images to help :)

angels have 5 main stages in growth: egg/pouchling, newborn, imp(toddler/child), adolescent, and adult. because they can be such high maintenance(ESPECIALLY when young), young angels are usually raised by a group or community rather than specific parental roles.

putting the details on each growth stage under the cut because it's long as fuck :3

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EGGS/POUCHLINGS

on average, an angel will spawn over 30 eggs at a time, with only a few being successfully fertilized. the fertilized eggs absorb the others as they grow and eventually hatch. these babies are yet to develop more prominent sail bones, calcium teeth, and wing membranes. they also have an extra nail that serves as both extra defense against their hatchmates and as an egg tooth equivalent. once pouchlings hatch, they immediately start tearing into their hatchmates as that's how they get the nutrients required to grow strong enough to leave the pouch. this can be avoided by removing the eggs just before hatching and transferring them to an artificial pouch instead, as some modern angels aren't usually too happy to let their children shred eachother in utero. the pouch will fill with liquid that allows the pouchling to breath upon hatching.

NEWBORNS

newborns are essentially just bigger pouchlings with more wing membranes and thicker skin. they still reside in the pouch most of the time but they can now leave to feed and breathe, as the liquid they lived in as a pouchling will drain as it's no longer needed. if they were allowed to cannibalize in development, pouchlings will be much more aggressive even outside of the pouch compared to hatchmates grown in an artificial pouch.

IMPS

a newborn is considered an imp when they grow too big to fit in their parent's pouch, and as a result, are more active amongst the other imps in their community. it's around this time that both the third nail they had as a pouchling falls off and their wing membranes fully grow in, although they won't be able to fly properly until the fatty layer surrounding the wing membrane grows in. imps aren't quite as bitey as their younger selves but are now very curious about their environments, investigating all they can see and babbling to their guardians.

ADOLESCENT

adolescent is the final major stage of development, with anything after this point in time being minor or drawn out over a much longer time period. an angel's calcium teeth finally grow in at this stage, with the keratin teeth being pushed forward to accommodate. other changes include reproductive organs developing and flight membranes finishing their formation. angels will now be experimenting in choir-forming and other social activities, as well as dressing up and accessorising as a form of aesthetic individualism.

#WOOOO BABY POST #FUCK this was a lot of writing #might edit it a bit if it reads funny or smth later but as of right now its fuckingggggg GOOD ENOUGH LOL #owo whats this #angel tag!!! wahoo #spec bio #speculative biology #speculative evolution #alien species #uhh i think thats it lol #uhh ik some of the shit this post entails is a lil freaky so if unwant me to tag anything so u can block it or smth lemme know #otherwise ill just leave it alone for now #ALSO yaaaay its 10 minutes till midnight im fucking EEPY #guts tag for guts stuff yippee

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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months

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There's something very romantic about the outdoors...

#thinking abt how theres this specifc place near my house where i always go to take pics of the sky #and i probably have at leats one photo 'session' from every week(well every wk i was at home this yr lol)#and its always like a painting to me #it doesnt matter how many times i go there #every single time im astounded by it #and its nothing special but the sky is so vast and magnificent #and the colors are always great #even if its not near sunset or sunrise its still beautiful #and during the summer im nocturnal so i always run down there at the crack of dawn to take pics 😭#but now i take a lot of the sunset or pre-sunset ig #qnd even just mid day is pretty...#and right now theres geese migrating all the time but especially at this time of day #so going and standing there at staring at the sky and hearing the geese and going numb from the cold #its just...romantic to me ig #maybe i will edit smth w all my pics at the end of the yr FOR ME #but i took some vids of the geese flying across the blue and pink sky and it was all very picturesque #blah blah blah i am very sentimental and if i could take pics of eveyrthing i would 🥺#mayhe one day ill buy an actual camera lol #catie.rambling.txt

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pillowenvelopchair · 6 months

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Hey guys!! this is just my insane ramble on Still Waters Run Deep that's made by the lovely @un-local. I've had so so sooooo many thoughts about this fic and I decided to try and put it all coherently in a post :)

Probably not a lot of new insights, just many, many rambles

Magdalene analysis and her view on Rogier + some other stuff

Magdalene, at the start of the story, is aimless and refuses to follow any line of Grace, putting off whatever it leads to and going in the opposite direction. Yet Grace is fickle, and it all eventually converges, so she gives in. (aaaand a life-changing partnership ensues)

She wants out of the competition of becoming Elden Lord, and she wants nothing to do with it. Someone else to take lordship is what she wants. Magdalene, in her eyes, is not worthy to take the throne. But Rogier on the other hand…

Rogier is, quite literally, built different. He thinks differently compared to Magdalene (a STR vs INT user difference lol). He’s able to pick out all the details that she would miss. Be able to extrapolate and examine it all and be able to learn from it. Magdalene can't do that.

It's basically:

Rogier: says some fun facts about the most random thing in the room, saying all the history behind it, and what the tiny details could mean Magdalene: yeah, that's a rock.

So instead, she becomes a tool for Rogier to be able to use, because that's the least she can do for him.

“She can already feel the faint grin forming on her lips at the thought. She never wanted to be Elden Lord. She’d finally picked up and followed grace to... to get away, with no idea what it called her to do. When Melina told her where it led her, she felt only dread. But Rogier... To save Those Who Live in Death... Two birds, one stone. She meets his eyes, and doesn’t look away. In them, she doesn’t see pride, or avarice. She doesn't see a man who wants to rule the world. Not at all. The path forward is clear now.” -Chapter 22

For once, she really sees a light from the dark future she sees. She's hopeful that she won't have to take the throne, that Rogier can burden it instead of her. He's worthy in her eyes and because of that, she devotes herself to him with all she can do. (Ah but… I believe Rogier wants her to be Elden Lord? Not sure but her not wanting to be Elden Lord doesn’t quite fit with what he has planned)

Magdalene really holds onto Rogier, and his guidance (a comfort wizard, if you will). And so the idea that he won’t make it… that she’ll be left alone with Grace again, forced to join back into the competition for lordship... It's sickening to her. So she really clings to him, desperate to not be left alone with a destiny that she despises.

Magdalene is always pulled into different directions. Grace pulls her to one but she pulls herself to the opposite one. Fia and D are both on extreme sides of the spectrum on Rogier's survival, and Magdalene is caught right in the middle of it.

But for her, Rogier will survive, he has to survive otherwise... that light, that small hope she has will all fade into obscurity.

Ghosts from the past (Lorens and Ida)

I absolutely love how something, or rather, someone haunts both of them.

Lorens had been the catalyst of all of what Rogier does now. Why he’s so desperate to save those who live in death. He's literally devoted his body and mind to Lorens just to see him alive (maybe Rogier's devoting all of himself to finding a solution to death because he wants it to come back to the old times when it was just him and Lorens in the Rise, or maybe not!! I'm just rambling lol).

Every thought of Lorens is painted with a sort of bittersweetness to it. From Rogier's perspective, at the very least (I'm super curious as to how Lorens would view Rogier but we'll probably never get it because... you know...). He's almost obsessed with him, and it's all pretty unhealthy lol.

Magdalene, who’s haunted by Ida who's probably a sort of lover that hadn't been fully brought to fruition. Different opinions on what they have had made Magdalene leave with (from what I have seen at least, we have scrapes of her, people! I can't wait to see more of Ida though)

Now with Ida... Magdalene absolutely shakes herself out of every thought she has about Ida. Spurning every single thought or imagination she has of that woman.

"Nausea comes in waves. Fever. She can feel delirium taking her—she’s convinced she’s submerged in the very waters of creation, for a while. She vividly feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into a current; cold and dark and inescapable. As it pulls her down, she’s overcome with the instinct to breathe it in— Against her temple she feels a hand, with gentle fingers dragging softly through her hair. Suddenly, every layer of the dream collapses in on itself, and she jolts awake with a gasp. Here, in Liurnia, she hauls herself up, rubbing at her face. Even the memory is a shock of cold water to her. She’s a woman haunted." -Chapter 23

(I just really love this part- I can't help it)

I think it's also really interesting how Magdalene leaves Ida due to their differences in what they have (?) while Rogier just absolutely hangs onto Lorens no matter what, despite him being... er... him. Not so sure about his personality with the small flashbacks we get of him but he’s probably not good for Rogier.

In short, Rogier venerates Lorens, while Magdalene absolutely rejects Ida. (Opposites!)

Rogier’s overthinking

Also found it interesting that when Rogier thinks he really thinks. He's a professional overthinker, even in the past

"He thinks of the labyrinthian etiquette, the way he’d triple-check every sentence for a double meaning. The secrets, the ruthless political schemes. It all felt like a spider’s web to him. He’d learned the game, and he played it well, but it had been nothing but paranoia and misery for him. Just like it was for everyone else." -Chapter 17

It's what's kept him alive (Ch. 17), and what's been able to pave the way for his findings Yet, it’s also his curse. He tries to pick out every detail that he can and think of every possible reason or motivation. Every single outcome he just needs to know so that he won't get caught by surprise again. He needs to be in control of the situation, he needs to be the master of the chessboard.

Oh and once this guy spirals, he really spirals. He starts thinking and looking at details, rewinding every single thing, every interaction, and trying to label a reason for every little thing. Yet... something emotional seems to break the surface of the water.

I personally think that he was raised to overthink. He was a noble after all, and he dealt with politics. He truly needed to check, double check, triple check, every single sentence and word in case it would have a double meaning. "He’d learned the game, and he played it well" (Ch. 17) . Getting worse after Lorens' death, being fooled by "Only a cut." (Ch. 25) and seeing the aftermath of it.

He can't not do it because if he doesn't, and he gets surprised it would break him (or at the very least, freak him out).

ALSO!! Rogier hating on "saccharine conversations" (Ch. 17) good lord. This guy cannot be real with anyone. Rogier refuses to show vulnerability because:

1. He was raised like that (the whole attachment theory thing) 2. He will absolutely break if he does

Do you guys remember when Fia tells Magdalene that "dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke" (Ch.14)? Fia saw through Rogier's walls through the cracks and he just absolutely breaks down. (Get yourself a man who, after "embracing" tells you all about this thing he's obsessed about and then cries because of it)

It's a mortifying ordeal, that someone's able to see through the walls you've meticulously put up. It hits something deep within that he’s tried to bury.

Despite the walls he puts up people other than Fia see through them. Magdalene (Ch.7) was able to see through the small cracks that have broken, and Roderika... hoo she really hit a nerve didn’t she? (But it also hit one of her nerves too, Rogier vs Roderika am I right?)

Chapter 17 analysis

Also, while we’re on the topic of Roderika, let's talk about chapter 17! Seems I have a lot to talk about.

I absolutely love this chapter so much, it gives us so much insight into Rogier's backstory and the way he thinks. His noble background really shines through here, with how he acts with Roderika who is a fellow ex-noble too.

"His grin is wide and carefree, but it rather feels like he's baring his teeth. There’s no room for your pity here." -Chapter 17

This guy cannot accept any sign of sympathy/compassion with anyone. It's all pity to him, and he absolutely hates pity. Once Roderika starts to console him too it sickens him and it makes him bare his teeth like an animal, his baser instinct showing just a little bit.

He’s probably bore his teeth to other nobles in the court, or whatever meetings they have with one another. Small threats that get the message across by a vicious smile, is something he is all too familiar with.

I also think that it's a little bit funny how he gives advice to Roderika but then is also a little bit of a hypocrite about it

“It’s hard, to leave it behind. But the old world will keep its claws in you, if you let it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier while it's not his past life that he's stuck but rather, he is stuck on Lorens. Even though Rogier is no longer Lorens' student, even though Lorens is dead, he still has his claws on Rogier. It's his entire motivation, why he's in a "pathetic" state now. He isn't letting those claws go, he lets them dig deeper within him, and they dig in deep.

“You already have it within you," he says. "They were only trying to bury it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier immediately buries his own emotions in this interaction when Roderika tries to console him lol. Just based off of him being an ex-noble and his whole family thing, it's well established that he is very much used to burying it all down his gullet. I mean, is it really Rogier without emotional suppression?

Also Rogier tends to close off all the matters that relate to what he feels in his dialogue both in game and in SWRD. This guy cannot let out just a slight moment of vulnerability

A Color Theory Thing on my read on Rogier's garb:

Rogier, with his background being grounded in nobility has suppressed his baser desires in exchange for meaningless political schemes that have only brought him misery. Yet after coming to these lands, he finds himself with Lorens.

He wears a Raya Lucarian Robe and it has red on it. It's a sign of baser instincts being shown for once. He has grown an infatuation with Lorens despite being his student.

Yet, Rogier is still mostly blue, and he still suppresses that baser desire that he’s developed, that infatuation for Lorens. He never once builds up the courage to be able to tell Lorens what he feels. He would always bury those feelings down, and as a result he can't let go of it. It's far too deep to be buried back up.

But once Lorens has died, Rogier changes too.

He exchanges those garbs for yellow and turquoise (I think?). He's a mix of colors and beliefs.

He still has the blue in the turquoise, which symbolizes calm, intelligence, and emotional control (you can’t spell Rogier without emotional control) But turquoise isn't just blue, it also has green.

Green represents growth, life, and new beginnings. This is a new beginning for Rogier, who's set out for a new goal, to be able to save those who live in death (and perhaps give them life? Not so sure on that but in SWRD that seems to be the case with Lorens).

It's balanced by yellow. Creativity and originality, he's almost the only person we meet who wants to save TWLID. Not only that but yellow also symbolizes illness, which could be a foreshadowing of what happens to him later in his life.

It's not just sickness though, yellow also symbolizes deception. Rogier lies, but I necessarily think he's someone who is always deceptive. He's more like the type of guy who would lie so that an encounter would go well or not hurt someone else's feelings. I think he's like that from that whole ex-nobility thing he's got going on. Political schemes and lying through a smile is something that he's familiar with. (It also doesn't help that he keeps being emotionally suppressed too lol)

Cowardice is another. Rogier is scared to tell anyone about his emotions, to take that risk of being honest with someone. His background in nobility and his family definitely doesn't help either.

Rogier had been too scared to be true to Lorens and tell him his feelings, and because of that, he would never be able to. I feel like he's avoided it even more afterward. He refuses to take that jump of being honest with someone, whether it's about his emotions or his ideals, he doesn't let them go.

But when he does? With D, it completely breaks off everything they've had. Everything that they could have been.

"Beguiled fool. A rotten, sick bastard. Fouled by them. A wicked, two-faced user. Heartless. Loathsome parasite. How could he? Were they not supposed to set this crooked world straight? Profane. A perversion of honor. A madman." -Chapter 5

“Get out of my sight.” “I’m sorry.” He’d said, and he was. But Darian’s lips curled back, and he jerked his head away and locked his eyes on the horizon. His jaw twitched, in the moment he took to reply. “Don’t talk to me.” There was nothing he could do to fix this. To undo his mistakes, to spare Darian his intentions." -Chapter 5

It's all gone because he had been honest about his goals (presumably). This experience probably strengthened that emotional suppression so as to not be hurt/caught by surprise.

So when Magdalene, someone who wholeheartedly accepts his ideals and sees his side for once, he's cautious. He can't believe that someone can genuinely agree with him because all the times that he has been honest, he's been punished for it. (though, he reminds himself that she's not like that)

In short, this guy's a mixed bag. A mixed bag with problems

(basing this off of the Elden Ring color theory video, it was an absolute joy to watch)

[EDIT]: Another thing I've noticed is that Rogier kind of views himself lowly (self-esteem issues ayyyy).

"He still doesn’t understand why. What did he do, specifically? Or was he just past his usefulness? Deemed unfit to rule? He never truly wanted to rule as Lord, but to be cast aside so indifferently—it had shaken him. Every now and then he fumbles with this, again and again, but he knows. He does. He knows that grace has forsaken him for good reason. He’s a heretic. An apostate. He who does not obediently bow before a faltering, decrepit Order, so ill-equipped to handle the world as it is. " -Chapter 5

"All these years. Couldn’t change a thing. Rather pathetic, I’d say—what a fool, thinking that this crooked world could be made right by mortal hands. Sure, deathblight. Truly, a fitting end for a worthless, rotten bastard." -Chapter 12

Now, speaking from some personal experience, being raised in a family that's of nobility and expects so much out of you from a young age definitely breeds some kind of self-worth issues that really stick with you. Especially if you haven't had anyone to truly support you.

Because of that, I believe that Rogier, in a way, is trying to prove his worth. But not to the Order, I think that he's in some way trying to please Lorens. Even in death.

He puts everything into his studies of Death, searching and scouring for scraps of information just to give him a single lead on anything, and for what?

"Its fulfillment will be a selfish act of altruism. These crooked lands will set right, by his hands, for a reward of nothing at all. But make no mistake: he needs another day. And another after that, and another after that. He needs his questions answered with questions, he needs his notes corrected in an unreadable hand, he needs to hear one more “Well—” followed by the most opaque, convoluted tangle of sentences ever constructed. There’s no reward he seeks, but the warm smile of cold gray eyes and a scoff about just what he’s wearing nowadays. " -Chapter 19

Rogier devotes himself to saving TWLID (saving Lorens, in reality), but it's not because it's all for selfless reasons, he seems to want things to go back to the way things used to be. Back at the Rise, with just him and Lorens once more.

I don't think Rogier ever accepted Lorens' death. He's determined to bring back Lorens, desperately trying to find a solution to bring him back no matter what.

Rogier is a man who refuses to grieve and is desperate for a solution for a dead man who's probably not even good for him. Get this man some therapy

This entire post's summary is just me going:

Anyway, that's all for my crazy rambles! I can't wait to see how SWRD will progress, and how everyone will intermingle and grow with one another (Rogier and Mags)!!!! :0)

Have some doodles + a WIP that I'll probably never finish as a treat for reading this! (Mag's torso was wayyy too long on the second one oops)

(bonus boggart because I love him)

#not gonna talk about d yet #I don't want to assume too much about him just yet #but d is really interesting and i absolutely love this take on him and his grief :0) (not that I've read any other d fics.)#Rogier is so damn complicated #like. he's got so many problems like. dude get a grip and get a therapist #mags reel him back in and send him to the therapy office while ur at it #sorry if u guys cant understand my insanity... it cannot be contained #or else ill explode into pink glitter and my blood splattered all across the room #hhhh maybe ill edit this later i have to do some stuff :(#oh also unlocal if u do see this no pressure at all!! I just needed a place to be able to go crazy over ur fic lol #theres like. probably a lot I've missed but I'll make another one if I get insane again #some of this is probably incorrect and is just me reaching for an answer that doesnt exist btw #swrd #rogier #magdalene #envelope rambles #i wrote this in like. two sittings #what is happenign to me #I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME #the mortifying ordeal of posting #AAAA #uou guys i keep noticing things and. i just keep on fuckign ADDING MORE THINGS IN #[EDIT]: Added in rogier's self esteem into this too :3

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